It’s that time again folks. It’s the end of the week. We’re happy that it’s here…cuz we were about to be some of the angriest Black people that you know. With that said, we shall vent.

Slim

Eff people that overestimate their level of cool based on the popularity of their blog. Where would some people’s lives be without a keyboard and some web space? I was humble when I had 30 subscribers and I’ll be humble when I have 300 or 3000. Appreciate the people that make you what you are.

Eff my commission-based job. Yeah, I’m sure I’ll be singin’ a different tune when the economy turns around and business is boomin’ again. But for now, eff the extra daily grind to produce the same minimal result! I feel like a f*ckin hamster on a wheel sometimes.

Eff the mosquitoes for goin’ banquet style on my lower legs this past weekend when I fell asleep on a hammock. I’d still take them over sandflies though. No doubt about it.

Seattle

Eff not having a summer vacation. Yeah it’s been several years since I graduated from college and I’m somewhat used to it, but I still get salty when I see high school kids with the whole summer off. I would say eff the kids, but that depending on how you interpret it – it sounds wrong or it just makes me seem like a bad person.

Eff folks who think shit is sweet just because we work together. You slipped up and showed your racist tendencies when we were out drinking. Just because I keep some sort of decorum in the office and are cordial towards you doesn’t mean I want to hang out with you.

Eff my own insatiable appetite for success. I just had the biggest presentation of my short work life, did the damn thing and I’m already looking for the next big job. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never be satisfied. Eff it it’s Friday, enough about work.

Miss Jenkins

Eff today being the last day of my internship.  Eff not having the fly 2-hour lunches, the pay checks, and the schwanky corporate lifestyle anymore for now.  And eff the economy for making me worried about (not) getting a job after graduation.

Eff not having my summer chocolately glow.

Eff not having really extensive and funny eff ‘ems this week.  Work kept me too busy to really think about them.

Oh yeah, eff Maxwell for dropping a CD with 9 tracks.  What the eff is that about?

Its the weekend snitches!  You know the drill.

Be safe out there in the sheets streets,

The Three Ways Crew

And eff you if you haven’t voted for us for the Black Web Blogs.

Pause.

Unless you live under a rock 40 million leagues under the sea, you’ve heard about Steve McNair (36) and his girlfriend gettin’ bodied . As soon as I read the story and found out the chick was 20, I knew it was a murder-suicide. Of course it took a few days to flush it out. But within that time, I’ve read a lot of comments and tweets hintin’ that the man was married with children and slidin’ off which makes him an example of what’s wrong with America…and also meant he got what he deserved. I’d take that more seriously if it was his wife that did the point and click.

Quite honestly, there’s a lot more wrong with America than the fact a former professional athlete appeared to be slidin’ off on his wife. Tell me sumthin’ new. Please. And I’m not talkin’ about movies where Black women decide to date White men. And personally, I don’t believe that my fraternal brethren was creepin’. As one of my Gchat gangstas (Ms. Pockets) eloquently pointed out:

His wife knew what was up. She didn’t report him missing, so she knew he was somewhere. Just another case of an “arrangement”.

Ah yes, the I’ma star arrangement that so many male and a few female celebrities get to enjoy as long as they give the husband wifey the kids (no pun), the crib, some whips, and some D. Even male celebs married to celeb women get the rights to sample extramarital bunz. Will Smith anybody? Jada lets the man pursue his happiness elsewhere and everyday is Independence Day…from what I hear.

But what about the rest of us who aren’t celebrities or filthy rich and never will be? Can we legitimately enjoy these types of “arrangements” and not feel like we’re gettin’ sloppy seconds from our significant others? Apparently, some of us can. Does the chick dating the starting quarterback or campus pretty boy that clearly takes down body after body not figure that “her man” isn’t out there gettin’ his piston on with his pistol out?  What does she get for this? The esteem that comes with dating “that guy”.  Yeah, I know. It’s as immature as the chick McNair chose to date. Transfer this to post college situations as well. I’d give examples but I don’t want to eff up anybody’s life.

But what about in other relationships? I don’t think I’d evverrrr reap the benefits of such an “arrangement” regardless of my salary. I wouldn’t even wanna be with a woman who was comfortable with me doin’ that. Why? 1. That means she’s with me for sumthin’ other than me. 2. No other man’s piece needs to be nestled between her walls within 6-8 months at least I’d like to think of me smashing making sweet sweet love to her.

Some of my friends feel the same way (Emphasis on some). It takes a certain type of person to allow their significant other to go and have sex with other people while they sit at home, or consider goin’ and havin’ sex with other people themselves. Honestly, I think the people are better to slide off on each other than to openly have such an arrangement. That’s just me. I’m a territorial a$$ dude and I’ll be damned if I’ma come in the crib and be like “So honey, how was Jerome’s d*ck tonight? Any tricks I might be able to add to the arsenal?” Puh-lease. What type of sucka do I look like?

So I’m wondering now. What do people think of these “arrangements”? What other celebs have them? Would you or have you ever have/had one of these situations? Is it an issue of greed, selfishness, or self-esteem? Let me know what’s on your mind. Don’t let my questions stop you.

My boo would throw me like a discus into lava if I even asked for an arrangement,

MJ’s Memorial yesterday brought the Internet to a halt yesterday. Not the same halt when he passed from people scrambling to get to popular news outlets, but because most everbody I know that was in a position to stop what they were doing…did. I was at work at like many of you, but stopped surfing blogs and leisure cruising on the net once I caught wind that the tribute was on. Between all the FB and Twitter messages, we figured folks would have a lot to say about the Memorial and would like an open forum to discuss. So for today, we’re going to highlight impactful moments from the Celebration of MJ’s life and then open it up for discussion from folks to leave whatever thoughts come to mind.

Slim Jackson

I’d have to say the most signifcant moment for Mr. Not-So-Emo was seeing MJ’s daughter, Paris, briefly speak about what she thought of her father. It was something that brought a lot of people back to the reality that Michael Jackson was indeed a person with a family and not just a personality to be the butt of jokes and controversy. Also, having lost a parent nearly a year ago, I can identify with the pain of losing someone that close to you. I may not be 10 or 11, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I feel for the girl and for the rest of their family. Almost got me to drop that tear. I managed to remain stoic though.

Miss Jenkins

As I checked Twitter throughout the day, I was sad that I too could not sit at my desk and watch the whole memorial service.  But I found a way.  I started watching as Brooke Shields was recounting some of her favorite memories of her friendship with Michael.  When I got home, I managed to catch the whole service and was truly moved by it in its entirety.  I was particularly struck by Maya Angelou’s poem, “We Had Him,” read by Queen Latifah.  Her words point out how we almost always don’t know how much appreciate someone for who they are and what they bring to our lives until they “slip away from our fingertips.”  I can’t front.  I cried at my desk at work, and as I sat at home.  Rest in peace MJ, and God bless your family.

Seattle Washington

I unfortunately couldn’t watch the live stream of Michael’s Memorial Service at my desk because I was rarely at my desk today.  However, I was eager to see it when I got home because of all the wonderful things I heard about the service via Twitter and from the people throughout the office. I was quite happy with what I saw. Everyone did an impeccable job honoring his memory through whatever medium they chose. I have to admit though, I got a bit glassy eyed when Stevie Wonder began to sing. My inner self was sobbing like a teased school girl while my outer shell remained strong. After all I’m a dude and we hide our emotions. Especially in front of our friends who proceed to call us emo off the strength of getting a little glassy eyed. It was my contacts Slim!

Seriously though, it was a great service. Possibly one of the best that I’ve ever seen for a celebrity. Slim and I actually wondered if there will ever be a memorial of that stature for any other celebrity within our lifetime. As you can tell, we all felt the service was amazing and there were a lot of different moments that affected each one of us. What parts of the service touched you and what were your thoughts overall?

Respectfully,

The Three Ways Crew

The world is getting smaller and that’s not just economist or technological talk.  It’s evident in my everyday life.  I’m running into folks that grew up around my way via Twitter (what up Streetz!). I see how closely affiliated I am with someone else based up Facebook’s suggestions of “People I May Know.” And I can communicate with the PGF while she’s over 8,000 miles away. All in all, technology is full of wonders, but it has its nightmares too. The same inventions that allow folks to get closer can bring them apart. It’s easier to find out information about people.  Almost as easy as it is to pass it along to your friends and their friends. And it’s not just Wale’s new mixtape that may get distributed virally. It could be the skeletons in your closet.

New technology can make the ancient habit of gossip even easier.  All it takes is one “Friend in Common” via Facebook to spark the following conversation:

Oh wow son, you know Alicia too?

Yeah, she went to school with me.  How do you know her?

Met her a little while ago and we’ve been kickin it ever since.

Word?  Well isn’t that a coincidence…

And that’s where things get real interesting. The digital age lets us have information at will, but question is – how do we use it? As Slim said to me once, it’s a question of “Justice over Mercy.”  All of a sudden you’re at a crux – do you tell your boy the information that you know or do you let it rock?  Do you tell him that his PGF or newly found girlfriend is not a nun, but just someone who specialized in the missionary position?  And that’s only at the beginning of a relationship.  What about if your friend has been dating a chick for awhile?

Folks in relationships slide off. That isn’t a question anymore. Those same people might know how to cover their dirty little tracks. Others on the other hand might find it a little hard now that the internet brings everyone a little closer. Who knows who’s friends of friends or who’s following who anymore? All it takes is one tagged photo or one nosey ass friend to pass along the word. So what happens when you find out your friend’s significant other is tricking off?

Furthermore is there a statue of limitations?  For example if the couple has been together for awhile and you heard about her indiscretions from awhile ago, do you call it water under the bridge? What if the couple broke up? Do you tell your boy about the new shit you just heard about what his ex did to him? Damn this information, I think I have more questions with the more I learn.

Please excuse all the questions, but it’s time we sorted out some kind of protocol.  I look forward to the conversation and adding some new rules to Seattle’s Guide to Friends & Women.

Seattle – I Don’t Know Anything About Anyone – Washington

Last week, we had a good conversation going about how people now turn to the internets and social sites like Twitter and Facebook for the news and gospel of current events.  Along those same lines, people have started to lean on the various forms of communication in their relationships with boos or potential boos.

What do you mean, Miss Jenkins?

I’m glad you asked.  Remember the days when you had to have a phone conversation with people to get to know them?Nowadays, we have text messages, email, gchat, AIM, Skype, FB, myspace, twitter, and all the other mediums of communication that somehow have managed to trump face to face or ear to ear conversations.

To a certain extent, I kinda like being able to talk to someone throughout the course of the day through one of these thangs. When I’m at work, I can’t be sitting on my cooler than your phone iPhone all day.  Plus the small talk helps make the day go by faster.

But…You can’t get to know someone via text messages.

I’m sorry, but most of our first few communications should not be via text message.  Back in undergrad, this was cute, but things have changed.  For me at least.  Can you really determine your interest in someone by their 300 character text messages?  Or maybe texting is an indication of lack of interest.  I guess if I was really interested, I would pick up the phone and call.  Or answer his calls.   But its pretty lame to be texting all vigorously and consistently, and then have nothing to say during a phone call.  How fast you can respond to a text does not translate into real time communication skills.

But what about when you are in a relationship?

Or just dealing with one boo piece.  Let’s see:

You and your boo are currently in a rough spot.  She said something crazy to you; or maybe he did something that really hurt your feelings; or maybe there is something in the air that is not sitting well between the two of you and it wasn’t his/her flatulence.

You know that you have to talk about it, but you both at work all day, and can’t really talk.  Instead, you IM or email your thoughts.  You get to say what you need without seeing her tears or the pulsating veins in his thronxington forehead.  By the time you see each other later, the hard part is over.  You get some pumpington kiss and make up.

I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with this, but its just something to think about.  I have definitely chosen to email/IM about my issues so that he couldn’t see me cry sweat.  Hell, it was so much easier.  I didn’t have to worry about forgetting that really important point that I wanted to make, and came across at least semi-coherently.

But I also know that after I have done this once or twice with a boo, I sometimes have a hard time being able to articulate my emotions face to face.  I get all flustered, forget what I really wanted to say, or skip over the main reason for my angst.  My heart races a bit, my voice gets all shaky, and I feel uncomfy.  And while I managed to get my point across eventually, I wonder if I would have had an easier time if it wasn’t for my semi-reliance on technology.

So good people, do you think technology and the internets have affected communication and how you interact with boos, potential boos, JOs, or people you are dating?  Have you started to use text messaging and IM as a reason to spend less time on the phone or face to face with people?  Or does it depend on the person?  Leave a comment with your thoughts.  Or text me.  That’s how I like it.  Pause.

Miss – Nah, you can’t have my number, but here is my email address - Jenkins

And don’t forget to vote!