Hello to New Visitors and 3 Ways Regulars,

We hope everybody is having/had/planning to have a good holiday season. We know a lot of folks are off from work between the week of Christmas and New Years, which means many of you probably won’t be at your computers much until January. So what better time for us to send out a message as was promised upon our departure from the wonderful world of blogging. As some of you may have seen on Twitter, we’re slowly getting back into the mix of things. We’ve partially returned to our regular lives and integrated ourselves back into society, but we still got a little bit of time to go.

With that said, this post is to announce the official return of 3 Ways! We’ll be in new clothes with new gadgets, toys, and resolutions on January 4th! There are gonna be a few changes (Don’t worry. The whole cast is still here.) in terms of how we do things and some surprises along the way that we know you’ll enjoy, so stay tuned. Until then, check out some of the top posts on the left hand side if you haven’t already or browse into the archives of each writer on the bottom right hand side of the page. And if you did forget or haven’t had the chance, subscribe via email and/or feed reader! But yeah, time to enjoy what’s left of our break. We’ll see you in a few.

Running some warm up laps and stretching it out (pause),

The 3 Ways Crew

I went to see Precious last week.  I was going to write a general review, but one of our good readers has presented a question for discussion.  Comment and share your thoughts.  I hope this holds you down until we return.

I am curious to hear your thoughts about the movie Precious. I am intrigued by the casting of supporting characters Ms. Rain (Paula Patton), Mrs. Weiss (Mariah Carey), and Nurse John (Lenny Kravitz). Is it only a coincidence that all of these (savior-type) characters in this film are of mixed race and the protagonist and antagonist are Black? I am sure Lee Daniels was strategic in who he cast for each role and I cannot ignore the stark physical and racial contrast in who is good vs. who is evil in this movie. Thoughts??

First and foremost, I must say that I enjoyed the movie. Not because it was a feel-good, happy ending type flick. It was actually just to opposite. I left the theater feeling super tired and emotionally drained. The movie was filled with the painful details of the daily-life of Precious, a 16 year mother of one, and soon to be mother of two, who struggled in school and life, to say the least. At first glance, she was the kind of person most people would look at and judge for her weight and maybe even make up stories about her, and assume they could sum her up in a few words. However, you couldn’t help but feel for her as she endured being raped by her AIDS-carrying father, and the physical and emotional abuse at the hands her mother (played by Mo’Nique).

Lee Daniels, Oprah, and Tyler Perry did their thing in this movie. Now, both Tyler and Oprah have been responsible for some flops in their career, but for people who appreciate a film beyond the big names and comedic relief, this movie delivers. Everything was deliberate, like presence of the red scarf throughout the film, and the placement of posters and signs depicting certain messages. And Mo’Nique. I don’t usually rock with her like that, but she acted her behind off. She brought a believability to the role of Precious’ mother that made you forget that she usually plays the jolly thick girl who cracks mad jokes. From the way she hung the cigarette off her lip, to the pain and hatred she expressed for her own child, to the inner conflict she battled at the end, I had to remind myself at the end of the movie that she was playing a role. But on the question at hand.

In addition to all the issues involving her home life, Precious battled a demon all too familiar in the Black community: the notion that light is right. During one scene, as she was getting ready for school, Precious was looking in the mirror. Staring back at her was the reflection of a white woman, complete with blonde hair and blue eyes. Even before this though, Precious made reference to not liking her skin color, and how great things would be if she were skinny, with lighter skin and long hair. When she imagined herself with a boyfriend, he too was light skinned with “that good hair.”

It was almost like her fantasies intersected with her realities. Her teacher, played by Paula Patton, her social worker, played by Mariah Carey, and the male-nurse, played by Lenny Kravitz, were the only people who took a genuine interest in Precious. They were all nice to her. All seemed to appear just as she was ready for an improvement in her life. And all these people were fair-skinned, relatively attractive (although Mariah looked mighty tired) and are biracial (in real life). Like the reader who posed the question, I wondered if this was a casting coincidence, or was it done on purpose? I’m guessing the latter.

Even if you didn’t see the movie, you probably have thoughts on this because “Precious” isn’t the first movie to make the good guys light and the bad guys dark. Even when a movie has no Black actors, the good vs. evil can always been seen by the makeup, dress, and aura of the characters. Do you think that this film made that intentional distinction as well? What other films have done this, and why do they do it at all? Is it just restricted to movies? What about TV or music?

Right fist in the air until we return,

Ms. Jenkins, Seattle, and myself have put a lot of time, energy, and money into making this site what it is today. When we first started out here, we never envisioned that we’d be pushing toward 500 subscribers and logging well over 1000 views per day after such a short time. We just wanted to provide a site with well-written content, daily discussion, and a variety of topics. We didn’t want to be the best relationship blog, best comedy blog, or best shock value blog on the internet. We did, however, make a promise to ourselves to hold a certain standard in terms of our writing/content and that standard is what people have come to expect from us. It’s a gift and a curse.

Over the last few weeks, we’ve all been getting a little burnt out from this grind that we been on for well over a year now. We love what we do here and all the people that come through daily, but we’ve decided that it’s time to take a serious break to focus on our real-world happenings and rejuvenate our creativity. The last thing we want to do is just post content for the sake of posting and risk losing our readers.

Do not fear, for we shall return at some point. And when we do come back, we’ll be better than ever. Make sure you subscribe via email or feed reader if you haven’t done so already. More than likely there will be a random post or 2 while we’re on break just to show we’re alive. We’ll also let folks know when we’re about to be back in the mix. In the mean time, we’re looking for new topics to cover upon our return, guest bloggers, and ideas for the site moving forward. Please visit the “Holler at Us” page and share any ideas, thoughts, or suggestions. Oh yeah…and don’t be droppin’ us from the blogroll like we’re deceased!

We dont wanna leeaaaaaave, but we gotta go right nooowwwww,

The 3 Ways Crew

No need for an intro. You know what day it is. Let’s eff!

Miss Jenkins

Eff school for keeping me from watching football and basketball.  I’m taking a stand this Sunday.

Eff my vision that is progressively getting worse. Contacts are annoying, but those are the best thing for me right now.  These intermittent headaches are not a good look. At all.

Eff Bank of America for taking over 7 business days to send me my new debit card. The lady I spoke to last week knew good and well they had a holiday last week and that mail would be delayed. Why didn’t she say something to me?

Eff RCLS.

Slim Jackson

Eff all the things simultaneously going on in my life nowadays. I got a lot of prioritizing and scheduling to do. **sigh**

Eff the looming holidays that will lead to reckless expenditures. I should’ve started putting money aside months ago! Arg!

Eff getting back into top shape. My lungs don’t expand as much as they used to. I got a lot of work to do with the weights and on the treadmill. Operation Ultra Beast 2009-2010 is underway.

Eff…eff this. I’m out.

Seattle Washington

Eff all the stress & eff this. I’m disappearing like Keyser Soze.

Your turn folks. Are you as burnt out as we are? Anything to eff this week? Get it all out. This will be the last therapy session for a few.

Back to Reality,

The 3 Ways Crew

People love to hate—particularly on celebrities. They’re such an easy target and we’re trying our hardest not to become celebs. Why else would we be hiding in the depths of Wordpress? We wanted to keep it light today though. Therefore, we’ve put together a short list of the celebrities that we, including you, love to hate. **In Lil Jon voice** Let’s gooooooo!

Robert Sylvester Kelly bka Yellow Kellz

Aka R. Kelly bka “I may be gross but I sure can sang. ” People seem to have mixed feelings about his shady child p0rno/pseudo child-molesting/peeing on women past. We all judged him a bit when he kept going and going with that whole “In the Closet” phase.  Yet we still find ourselves singing “Number One,” or bumping some classics from 12 Play.  When the “Pied Piper” drops a new track, the first reaction may be to say “Ugh, go away.” But you can’t help but enjoy the man’s music.  He may be an unsavory human being, but he can sang just about anything. Sigh.

Sammy Sosa

There seems to be less of a question of love/hate here, and more of a “What the eff were you thinking,” kinda vibe surrounding Senor Sosa right now. “It’s a cream that I have, that I use to soften (my skin), but has bleached me some. I’m not a racist, I live my life happily,” he said.  Really though Sammy?  Bleached you some? Cut the crap. You mean to tell us that you didn’t see anything wrong with this? We ain’t stupid.  Be straight up with us. And yes we knew about the ‘roids too. We may not have judged you then, but folks are damn sure judging you now.

Soulja Boy

It’s said that no one person can mess up a whole culture, but Soulja Boy is definitely one of the scapegoats for doing it to hip hop. Folks have said he’s the downfall of the music genre, the epitome of what’s wrong with the rap game. Ice T even said something about him. Ice T! Sure he’s not helping with his remedial songs and overspending, but… No buts. I can’t even front, I shake my head every time I hear about some reckless thing he’s done.

Rev Run

Somehow Rev went from hip hop’s spiritual and moral guru to a joke. I guess Twitter can do that. There’s several trending topics about his… eff it, yeah his basic ass tweets and now even a mock Twitter account. I’ve seen folks hate, but damn! This account is quickly bettering Drake’s Knee. Who barely missed the list himself. I’m not sure it’ll last forever, but as long as Rev Run keeps kicking knowledge that’s already been stomped out; I think the folks will keep loving to hate.

Beyonce

Behind every bad chick is a gaggle of broads that will hate on her every move. I’m not even a fan of her music or her style, but damn if I hear one more Black woman saying something bad about Beyonce I’m going to snuff someone. No Chris Brown. Let the chick live! She’s bad and she’s married to one of the most, if not the most, influential MCs ever, she has an outstanding career and she’s bad. And what really kills me is that the chicks that hate are ugly/have nothing going for them/are single. Stop hating and use all that energy to get yourself together broad!

Barack Obama

He’s a celebrity right? Well, at least that’s what Fox and other news channels would say. Though a good number of us tinty folk think the man is still fresh in the game, it seems there is an ever-increasing desire to criticize every action the man makes. When I’m (Slim) running on the treadmill, I don’t want to see 3 new channels showing him do a mini-bow when greeting someone in Asia and analyzing the bow. Do people not understand he is the Prez? He can do whatever the eff he wants! Not gonna lie though. I wouldn’t ever want to be him. He doesn’t look so young anymore. Has anyone else noticed how much he has aged in the face since he took office?

So yeah folks, that’s our list of 6 celebrities (of sorts) that we love to hate. What do you think of the folks we mentioned? What are your additions to this list? We know you hate/hate on/know someone that hates on some particular celebrity. Sharing is caring…and ish.

Hating,

The 3 Ways Crew

**I’m giving the spotlight today to someone who’s pretty much been around for my whole blogging existence. Those who visit 3 Ways regularly know her name. Those who don’t bettah recognize! I know her in real life as Lola B., but you probably know her as The Choklit Factory. Give her a round of finger snaps! -Slim**

Choosey Lover, Boy I’m so proud of Ya.
I’m so glad you chose Me, Baby.
And I’ll make you so Happy.

-Aaliyah ‘Choosey Lover’ 1996

I must have listened to this song a good 20 times before I understood its true meaning. According to the lyrics and my own definition, a Choosey Lover is a selective or picky person who engages in much thought and effort when choosing a mate for relationship purposes (I am not referring to jump-offs!). These people weigh the benefits and possible damages of dealing with someone on an intimate level and do so preferably without (or more likely despite) the influence of strong sexual desires or favorable superficial appearances. Some characteristics the Choosey Lover will consider include: the person’s past, their ambitions in life, their morals and the way they treat people in general. Let’s explore.

Their Past
Sorry ladies and gents, this will include the number of pickneys you have spawned. I am not a fan of the whole baby daddy/baby mama dance, though I try my best not to hold it against people. When I ask about your past, I am really asking what kind of female do you tend to date? Are those scars on your arm from the last time you tried to Chris Brown the Ex? Is that tattoo on your chest (that I peeped accidentally) a tribute to your last girl that you only dated for 6 months (re: Stalker)? Do you have bad credit a job?
(*side note: I know some of these questions sound a little ridiculous, but y’all have to understand, I live in Toronto. End note)

Life Ambitions
I’m only 26 myself and I will be damned if I have my whole life planned out. But I do know I want a plan and I am working towards solidifying one. Do you have any dreams or aspirations that do not include signing with Young Money or bagging Amber Rose post-Kanye? (I said life plan, not life delusions) Call me crazy, but goals and ambitions are sexy in 2010!

Their Morals
This is a MUST for me. I find that people with shaky moral foundations are more prone to falling into bad circles, failing to take responsibility for their actions and overall slackness. For the morally inept, it is less about the who and more about the when, how often and how many.

How do they treat others?
It is no secret that one can learn a lot about another based on how they treat others around them. This includes their family members, friends (especially close friends), random strangers and of course, YOU! How does he/she treat you? Do they leave you feeling angry with yourself? Sexually frustrated, insecure or insignificant? No mas.

I find that many of my friends or acquaintances – men and women, decide against holding out for these admirable qualities in their mates and offer various excuses for doing so. These include: ‘Hey it’s hard to find a man/woman out here!’ or, ‘She doesn’t treat me good…but she takes photos for fun is a model!!’ or my favorite, ‘I don’t want to die alone!’

To counter these arguments I would argue that when you take care in monitoring the kinds of people you choose to bring into your life, you save yourself from the girl fights, getting burned and other d being brought into your life. And yes, you do have to take a chance, a leap of faith if you will, when choosing to enter into a relationship with someone. Still, I think committing more care into the actual choosing of your mate will determine the amount of disagreements, happiness and heartbreak you will endure as a result of the union.

All you Choosey Lovers out there, I see you! You are bougie as you wanna be; you expect the best because you believe you deserve it! You are a kind person at heart, selective but never cocky – ok you are a bit cocky…work on that.

What do you all think? Would you consider yourself a Choosey Lover when it comes to choosing a mate for relationship purposes? Do you think I’m being too uppity? What’s changed for you over the years that’s made you more or less Choosey? Did I lose you at pickney? What say you all?!

Lola B. aka The ChokLit Factory ~No Half-steppin’~