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Am I My Brother’s Keeper?
One of the main tenets of the “G Code” is for lack of better terminology, having your people’s backs. No matter what. The frustrating part about following this code is not having to remain true to your word, but having to do so when your fellow G royally f*cks up. (I told you not to call the house from the spot. Now you callin’ me for bail money. Come on, Knowledge…) I can always forgive an honest mistake, but complete acts of irresponsibility is hard to deal with. Consistent complete acts of irresponsibility are close to cardinal sins. I use the term irresponsible in a broad sense, because they are range of behaviors your peers exhibit can be deemed irresponsible, but can fall into other categories such as immature or just plain stupid. The politically correct answer that most people will give you is that the do feel obligated to be their brother’s keeper, but the increasingly individualistic nature of our society says that we don’t.
The work that is sometimes necessary to be a “brother’s keeper” can be exhaustive. Think about that friend or relative that can’t seem to get it right or is a parasite to any and all available resources. The place a strain on your relationship because they seem to require more attention and help than normal. Their consistent acts of irresponsibility can cost you valuable time, money or even chinks to your reputation depending on the situation. Unfortunately, what tends to happen is we don’t end up helping people out of a sense of duty to help, but of out the guilt that will bind us if we don’t help this person. I have no problem helping you move, but I rather not do it at 3am because your girl went through your phone and now she’s burning all your sh*t.
Ideally if we all looked out for another more, it’s needless to say to we would be in a better place as people. I don’t want to sound like one of those “blame the system for everything” people, but there is no denying that the well laid, systematic pattern of institutional racism that exists in this country continues to drive wedges between our people and do not present favorable conditions to foster “unity” amongst our people. In more personal situations, constantly putting out other people’s fires can become as pleasant as a hemorrhoid. I believe we all have a responsibility to look out for one another, but that responsibility can become overbearing when people are unable to look out for themselves.
Who knows, you’ll probably end up going out this weekend and end up taking care of a friend that had too much to drink or slick talking your way out of Department of Corrections manufactured bling due to the aforementioned drunkenness. Or maybe your favorite person to avoid will call you this weekend to borrow money…again. Whatever the case, at some point, you’re going to find yourself in this situation will more than likely stay true to code, for fear of intense guilt setting in. Or maybe your the constant schmuck Good Samaritan to get sucked dry lend a helping hand.
Don’t call me for bail,
?
10 Responses to “Am I My Brother’s Keeper?”
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LOL @ “Don’t call me for bail”…don’t call me either cause i’m broke! I’m down with lookin out for my homies but if they eff up (like they’re finna be sent to jail cause they robbed a bank or some ish like that), i can’t not & will not be there to have my record dragged through the mud. You can look out for your people but you also have to look out for yourself (especially if you aren’t completely sure you could trust them).
Great post!
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L.Dejean Reply:
August 18th, 2010 at 1:16 am
i meant “i can not”*
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Great post!
(Don’t mind me, I’m drinking, my early apologies for any misspelled words or typos)
If it wasnt for me always being the ‘nana’ or ‘sitter’ for my drunken friends years ago the nickname ‘Lola’ wouldnt ofnever been born… alas, Im still ‘sitting’ for some of them but not like before, that ish gets tiring, thats why I cut ties with them and started hanging out with people who can control their liquor, walk semi straight and stay out of trouble…
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Lola Reply:
August 18th, 2010 at 2:05 am
See right there – > “ofnever” it is suppose to be of never.. ha! Lol
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I could literally go on for days about just one of my siblings, much less the rest of my family.
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Thankfully I live in philly and most of my family lives in DC..its not that far…but juust far enough so that I am not the one people are calling for bail, borrowing of monies, late night pick-ups, etc….
But, in cases where this continues to be a problem for people…really you just have to learn how to say NO..because its not how you say it..but how you convey it…and its just gonna have to be NO.
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I am the oldest girl of the clan and yes I am their keeper. The 4 younger kid sibs are all in school right now and are always begging me for deniro. I don’t mind helping but once in awhile I say no just to let them know they can’t ALWAYS count on big sis.
Not an ATM >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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Although I have no siblings to take care of, I am always the driver for my friends. The cooker at all family functions. The cleaner after said family functions. The advisor as well as information desk for clueless friends. Not that I’m complaining, but it can be very tiresome at times.
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This also comes into play for people who constantly get into fights. I hate having to fight when I know the other person is wrong. Usually I let them know that i wont do it again if they’re the catalyst. Of couse I wont let em get thrashed but you hope people will smarten up.
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RCLS,
Made some good points. Well you’ve known for years I don’t tolerate dead weight.
I think being a brother’s keeper is also being able to tell the person about how much they are dropping the ball. Let them know how much weight you are pulling as compared to them and the real world won’t play ATLAS to their excuses, mistakes and ‘help bail me out’ moments.
At some point, you have to draw the line and let them know or you and ATLAS will both have something in common.
Shruggin his shoulders,
-BBW
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