Aphrodisiac
Long and behold, I have returned from having sex my vacation to the Bahamas. The cultural experience was great. The island food was exquisite. Took a good number of pictures and got significantly darker. And more importantly, I learned a lot from the locals about sex. Yes, I am talking about Pumpington McDeepensider.
People talk very openly about sex in the Bahamas. There were at least 4-5 incidents where blatant sexual comments were made to me by both men and women. No, they were not trying to have sex with me. Eh, I’ll just highlight a few of the incidents:
Flavor Flav Booze Cruise Guy
Dude looked like Flavor Flav minus the clock. He happened to be working on the booze cruise boat I was on. He came over for whatever reason to strike up a conversation and within minutes he was talking about how many siblings (17 to be exact) he had and how his dad liked to pump. Yes, he said this. He also told me about how he stroked down one of his teachers in 9th grade and how everybody in the island loves pumps. Needless to say, I felt right at home.
PJ the Good Guy
Perhaps one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. Aside from giving me and my McSnuggles a great tour of the island and advice on where to go, he also told me about the powers of Conch and Guinness as aphrodisiacs. Apparently if the dude eats the uncooked skin of a conch and/or drink Guinness, he will turn into the Incredible Caulk. He also cautioned that too much drink and “You’lI will be in danjah of fallin’ asleep on the job mahn.” Initially I thought PJ was bluffing, but he mentioned conch skin in a bar and 2 other dudes enthusiastically agreed that it will set up a long night of “hot love mahn”. So what did Slim do?
I went to the store to buy some Guinness Foreign Stout and told PJ to holler at that fresh conch for me.
2 Women in the Liquor Store/PJ’s Wife
I came to the counter with the Guinness and both women’s eyes lit up. One of ‘em remarked to McSnuggles “You’re in for a long one hunny”. Another co-sign for the concoction. McSnuggles was already smiling. The expectation was set and the night was young.
When PJ told his wife that I wanted conch skin to bring home, she made the “ohhhh” sound like the women in those Enzyte commercials. With this final co-sign, I was determined to chew, drink, and pump pump pump the night away. Not savage like, but with a plethora of rhythms and depths in sync with a variety of R&B and rap songs.
The Verdict
I need to find a way to get conch in Boston.
So for today I have a few questions for folks. What’s your aphrodisiac? Do you even think aphrodisiacs work? And is the open discussion of sex with people who are pretty much strangers an island thing or do I really live in that small a bubble? Let’s have an orgy of sorts.
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1. Open Sex Discussions
There are many studies and theories postulating that warm weather is a natural aphrodesiac. Poverty helps too. “Island culture” varies given the island…but in my observation most Caribbean islands, the weather is warmer, people are friendly, outgoing and do tend to be more open about sex (though it is considered highly taboo among the upper class), in addition to other issues when engaged in a discussion about them – politics, religion, etc.
Also, people probably knew you were not a native Bahamian and saw that you were there visiting with your boo…so that could have influenced the tropics of conversation lol.
2. Aprhodesiacs
I could have put you onto conch a long time ago lol. It is also popular among Cubans (at least on the eastern side of the island). You can get it in South Florida.
Also try mama juana (a herb-infused rum from the DR – you can probably get it somewhere in your neck of the woods too), ginger chews and I can recommend some others offline lol.
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does the aphrodisiac count if its not legal? lol
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Slim Jackson Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 7:21 am
yes. it does count.lol.
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I’m cracking up because it worked!!!! LOL. Let me pass this on to my man (plans special trip to the Bahamas). Kidding.
Any-t-who, I think an open discussion of sex is prolly done everywhere but America… we’re kind of prudish.
I don’t have any real tried and true aphrodisiacs yet, but when I drink (most) liquors, it makes it warm “down there” so I am immediately ready. lol
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Welcome back!!
You gotta love free talkin strangers.
I don’t know that I have an aphrodisiac per se. I guess red wine is mine. It goes straight to the loins. So when I am out at work functions or around a man I don’t want to get McFreaky with, I stick to the whites
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My yout. I’m still mad you didnt go to St. Croix. No, I won’t get over it. Yes, I’m 10.
I actually hate conch w/ a passion, but Guiness is definitely the medicine. But depending on the island, most of the food you get down there is not as processed as the food we consume here. Most weekends my dad would go down to the beach and buy his fish as soon as they were caught, or maybe put some money in with his friends and go buy a pig or a goat and get to cookin’. And yuh haffi nyam nuff PROVISION my yout! Yam, fig, cassava, breadfruit, tanya, sweet potato, etc. Bush rum is always a good one…will definitely put hair on your chest and other places hair probably shouldnt be. Peanut punch is good for that too. And SEA MOSS!! RASTA!! But alas, I can’t find most of this stuff in Babylon, so I have to do what I can. Definitely drink up di Guiness, and of course my good friend Jack. Omega Oil also works wonders. But in general just eat a healthy diet keeping in mind that the better the bloodflow going to Area Pumpington, the better you will be bredrin.
As far as the convo you had with all these folks, dude, that’s island culture. Damn, did you bother to listen to any of the music? It’s not drastically more sexually charged than anything we listen to up here, but some of the stuff that’s actually allowed on the radio is a little more liberal. If the FCC had translators they’d lose their f*ckin minds.
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btw, guiness is disgusting to me. my dad used to live by it though. he used to put sugar in it and call it his medicine. i stole one out the fridge when i was 12 and tried it. i almost threw up.
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Ambassador of All Things Arrogant Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 10:26 am
“Mi hear say man say dat, Guiness put it back/
Mek yuh caan stop, tougher than rock/
Worsa if yuh drop likkle egg inna dat/
Irish Moss linseed sour sop/
Den yuh wouldnt flop, yuh girl wouldnt chat/
An yuh wouldnt haffi hear dis from Red Rat”
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I don’t have an aphrodisiac..but make love to my mind and you’re in…I think you and McSnuggles (I’m stealing that one) were both seduced mentally first as opposed to physically…with the change in environment, positive ppl…..
I’m glad you made it back and you had fun..In my opinion Americans are pretty open about sex, or they’re getting there anyways…island ppl..well maybe just Jamaicans as much as they love to chat bout “buddy” and “pum pum”
“hot wuk” etc… many refuse to give, or front like oral sex is an abomination, for example Mista Vybz Cartel refuse to “put him face inna toilet seat”..(I addressed this is in one of my posts couple weeks ago)…
Did u come across any Bahamians who shared this sentiment?
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Slim Jackson Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 10:10 am
I didn’t hear anybody talk about oral delight. Everybody seemed to be focused on insertion.lol. One dude even told me about putting a condom on while under the influence of an aphrodisiac and said he experienced “no discharge of any sort”. Never a mention of getting a sloppy floppy or eatin that thang.
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Ambassador of All Things Arrogant Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 10:28 am
Yeah…”bowing” is frowned upon. So is coming in thru the back door.
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Black and Trapped in Toronto Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Yea the frilly brief bwoy dem get stoned…sad.i know.
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Anger Management Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 10:12 am
I find this interesting as well. As a native Bahamian, I can definitely attest to the fact that island ppl don’t have a problem talking about sex, but most feel that oral sex is disgusting. They’re missing out!
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Black and Trapped in Toronto Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 10:29 am
oh yea.. the link fi mi post>http://goddessintellect.wordpress.com/2009/06/04/the-golden-rule-head-politics/
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I try to move towards non alcoholic aphrodisiacs first and Irish Moss is my first destination. I can’t find it anywhere outside of NYC anymore, so I’m shit out of luck. However, there are oysters everywhere and from what I’ve noticed they definitely work. Get the raw oysters and remember to wrap your member.
But for my fellow budding alcoholics, Guinness Extra Stout is old faithful and can be found at watering holes around the globe. Just for clarification, I’m not talking about regular Guinness. They named this particular beer Extra Stout for a reason.
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Streetz: Mr Monday Night Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
The Guyanese swear by this ish! I can cosign it as well!
Fried chicken also makes me randy!
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I have to second Ms. Jenkins’ take on Red Wine and its effects; it just does something to me.
Conch skin does wonderful things for the thang
so I hear.Reply
Red Dawn
Greenery
Good Food…
I don’t know about all islands, but it would seem this is the overall consensus. I know on my island we’re polite and bold. I think it has a lot to do with the other freedoms we enjoy. Like being able to drink at an earlier age, and the greenery.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
I also neglected to mention that I was freely offered white snow in addition to the green stuff for the brain. I was also sitting next to a guy that was drinking a beer as he drove the truck. The freedom seems exquisite.
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Ambassador of All Things Arrogant Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Yea…open bottle laws are more of a suggestion than anything else
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JG* Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
I’m tryna tell you. You also notice that people follow a more unwritten law in these “Freer” areas. “Don’t start nothin, won’t be nothin. Now pass it and let’s keep it movin.” LOL
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ashbunnie Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Red Dawn?!?
Like as in Dish detergent?!?
Hornbot. Lol.
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The right nucca is ALL I need to put me in the mood……….Glad you had a good time and traveled safely!
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For me, a few shots of Patron always does the trick…
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Streetz: Mr Monday Night Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
^^
Patron n pineapple = Daddy Longstroke. lol
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never tried one..oh…umm..recreational drugs ..does that count
Dont do those anymore tho
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Welcome back. Glad you had a good trip.
Patron. That’s all ya girl need and I am HOT!
whew.
Sometimes mary juana. SOMETIMES.
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