Baby, I Got Feelings…
Yes, men do have them. We’re very selective in how and when we choose to display our feelings and/or emotions. Some of the common ones that women will see from us are happiness/joy, frustration, and apathy. All of which are highly popular amongst my brethren. Apathy tends to leave women wondering why we’re so complex even though we know think that we’re very simple creatures. What a lot of women know but often forget to understand is that we’re very ego and testosterone driven individuals. We got no problem bein’ happy and laughing with you or being overjoyed when you do something cool, like that sexual trick that we been dreaming and hinting about forever. You see it on our faces when you look up (or down dependin’ on the position). You see it when you’re laughing at our jokes or listening to us brag about one of our accomplishments.
That’s great. It really is. But a lot of women don’t care about the fluffy stuff. They wanna know what’s really on a dude’s mind and how he feels about ‘em. That’s fair. We often wonder the same about you even though we don’t usually broadcast it. I’m going to take this post to try and break it down a bit further so that hopefully I can save at least one couple an argument, or one chick the frustration of trying to figure out what it is that’s going on in her man or potential man’s mind. So here goes…
Do not hammer us with questions or probe us to show emotion. The sh*t can really backfire. More times than not, if we got something to say, we’re gonna say it. It may not be in the time frame that you’d like, but we’ll communicate when the time is right unless we’re truly the assholes that we’re expected to be. I know some of you disagree, but it’s the truth especially when you dealing with a mature dude (Age is not a direct indicator of maturity). Acting out reckless and doin’ spiteful ish in hopes of getting an emotional reaction to see where his head is at isn’t the move unless you wanna see him transform into the Incredible Caulk Hulk. Like I said initially, anger is an easy emotion to see from a dude. What could be love or a desire to be committed could easily be turned into an angry outburst (pause) if shorty presses and does some recklessness to see where dude is at. Do.Not.Do.It.
The shaft ego needs stroking. Most of you know this. Whether it’s faking an orgasm, which I think is an awful idea and only hurts you, or saying “yayy” because he’s excited that he finally won the Superbowl on Madden or in his fantasy football league, you gotta be supportive and acknowledge that. The more you show that you’re interested in what he takes pride in and that it’s okay to come to you about stuff, the easier it’ll be for him to share the deeper (you will like this sexual or nonsexual) stuff.
Set the standard early. When you first start datin’ a dude, it’s fine to let him know that you wanna be able to talk about whatever whenever and that feelings don’t equal bitchassedness. He may be thrown back, but he’ll remember that you took the initiative from jump. Tryin’ to preserve that “peachy phase” isn’t a good look in the long run. A lot of how this one plays out is gonna be based on what you set as an expectation and how discriminate you are in selecting your significant others.
These are just a few of the things that come to mind. Anybody else got any ideas? Feel free to disagree with me. That’s what keeps these discussions going and gives me a reason to stop doin’ work at work.
Baby can you hold me(?),
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Great post. However, I plead the fifth on this discussion. (Plus I just wanted to be the first to comment. hehehe.
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ainz Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:21 am
Plead the fifth huh?? lol It def was a great post Slim, its true we don’t likes stuff sprung on us at a later date. It would throw me off completely, let me know everything up front. I think it frustrates women when they can’t get a rise out of us. Like why would you do something to test me? What is the point really? Just make sure the buns is good and you can make a GREAT sandwich. You will never have to question my feelings, i will even watch Gossip Girls with ya..
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:30 am
“I think it frustrates women when they can’t get a rise out of us.”
That all depends on what kind of “rise” you speak of Ainz…
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Cheekie Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 11:40 am
“That all depends on what kind of “rise” you speak of Ainz…”
Checkmate!
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ainz Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 11:48 am
ok ok Tiff i guess i set myself up for that one..lol
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:35 pm
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Yes I will hold you SJ…lol! Good post. You hit the most important points. What I have learned is that a man needs to feel comfortable and trust that he can come to his woman about anything. Men already feel enough pressure from everyday life. So they need that ego stroking to help uplift them which makes them feel good about themselves and strength to keep fighting everyday.
I think sometimes men will try to talk to women about small things first just to see how she will respond. A smart woman would just listen because men don’t usually open up, even if its something that would upset her.
Sometimes it is a test to see your reaction. Based on how you respond will determine if he will feel comfortable sharing other things with you. Men want most of the same things emotionally as women do, but really aren’t allowed to say so.
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slim, i’m glad that you finally shed some light on this subject because this is something i’ve been dealing with lately.
ok, i can understand the unwillingness to share feelings… i’m totally the same way (what?! yeah i know). i’m all about saving face, especially when i’m really crushing on a dude. but what really pisses me off is when me and dude have been talking for a while, and yet i still don’t know where his head is at. yes…even after me taking on some initiative and dropping hints about my feelings. what’s up with that? when does holding out become indicative of something else (that he doesn’t have the balls to say)?
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Peyso from the Brook Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 10:32 am
Stop dropping hints, this aint Clue. Just say it and then see what he says
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:18 pm
::prepare to watch him run from the room like Usain::
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Peyso from the Brook Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:27 pm
let him run then
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I got excited when I read the title cuz I thought this was going in a whole other direction… I think I knew all the stuff about arousing emotions and (big) ego stroking (Beyonce ruined that word) and being upfront. But what I’ve always been curious about is whether men have the same realm of feelings as women…
I mean, I have guy friends (eh) and most of the time, they try and front and act like they don’t care about a chick, don’t think about her, etc. but when it’s one on one, they usually will open up to me about how excited they are that she called, or how nervous about a date, or how confused or jealous they are about their ex, etc. and it makes me feel like guys must (surprisingly) feel the same way about us that we do about them.
Yet when I’m actually DATING someone, I get blank stares and empty words. If a guy DOES tell me how he feels, it’s usually anger or apathy (as you say), and if it’s happiness, it’s about something unrelated to me lol. So it makes me wonder… what feelings do men actually FEEL in general (even if they don’t say it) with regards to women.
Do y’all (I’m from the South) get giddy and nervous and love-lorn, like us? Jealous? Confused? Heart broken?
I’m not obtuse; I know men have feelings. I’m just saying, are these “women” feelings actually just as common in you Martians, but only well-hidden? Or are they truly rare and when we see traces of them is basically the only time they occur??
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 9:51 am
I like how you create new topics for future posts with your comments.lol.
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Joey Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 11:21 am
I like when you say that you like something about me (expressing feelings and all that). It makes me all warm and tingly inside. Let’s make out.
lol.
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For once I am keeping my “Big mouth” shut.
My name is B&TT and I have yet to understand the workings of the opposite sex.
I got my note pad out Professor Slim……
Please note: I wll still make random comments throughout the day becuz I have a slight case of ADD @work
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I think men mean what they say no matter how confusing it is….
I’ve learned when a man says, “he’s not ready,” then he really is not, no matter how fabulous a woman you are. It’s up to you stay and wait or walk away.
I’ve learned that you cannot change a man, he change’s when he’s ready.
By the way, great post Slim!
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Holly GoLightly Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 11:42 am
I fully agree Nick! I have been the “trying to change that man” woman… not no more!! NEVA!
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:46 pm
High five Holister!
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80's Baby Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Ya’ll already know I got that t-shirt and burned the mess out of it… I definitely ain’t going that route again.
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Southern Belle Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:07 pm
I concur!
It’s just hard to own that he isn’t ready, and then deciding whether to wait around or not. Up until recently I was convinced that you can never fall out of strong like with someone who is utterly wonderful. However, when you’ve had to wait so long for him to be ready, and you reach your limit, it clicks and goes away.
Although I don’t think men always mean what they say, I think they hype stuff up at times just to get what they want.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Lately, I’ve been walking. After reading “he’s just not that into you,” I had ammunition.
I feel like if a man wants you, then hell nor highwater will stop him!
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Awww….I am so for having a man with emotions. I don’t mind a man saying he wants to be held and loved and all that jazz.
I am just saying…sensitive men …kinda do it for me once I can make the passion come out
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I think that men are more action-oriented than verbally expressive. You don’t have to poke and prod at a man to know how he feels about you. You just have to watch him. And their expressions of love won’t be huge romantic gestures, it’ll be the small practical things that women sometimes overlook because we’re looking for roses and love songs.
Ex. My guy knows that I hate eating the cereal at the bottom of the box. I hate the crumbs. He thinks it’s stupid and wasteful, but hey, that’s just how I am. Anyway, I knew he really cared when he went for cereal one day and realized there was only about two bowls left in the box. He poured out a bowl, poured the bottom of the box for himself, and then put the first bowl back in the box for me to eat later. So sweet!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 10:44 am
That’s a great example of being considerate and making a kind gesture, but you still don’t really know what’s in his head based on that. I do agree though, that him doing that says more than some of the other generic expected things.
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MaPockets Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Way to eff up the moment, Slim. I was over here gushing (pause) at the thought of cereal, til I read your response.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:33 pm
I mean. I just gots to keep the conversation going. You can still gush/stream/Niagara Falls/etc. if you like.
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Cheekie Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Awwwww!
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@nicki sunshine (can’t reply from my phone for some reason): word up! Trying to change a man is a futile effort. True we should believe a man when he tells us certain things, I have heard it said not to believe a man’s words but believe his actions. We all have been with the dude that says one thing and does the opposite. Smh.
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Steph Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 10:56 am
“to believe a man’s words but believe his actions. We all have been with the dude that says one thing and does the opposite. Smh.”
You just read my mind! This post had me thinking…yeah all this makes sense and I’ve heard it/learned it before. My whole thing is guys may open up and tell you their feelings but there are so many guys out there who try this as game that it’s hard to believe them.
I am HUGE on actions over words. I’ve had relationships where they guy will say the sweetest, most romantic things but actions are a 180, and I’ve had relationships where the guy is practically a mute when it comes to any emotional talk but his actions proved how he felt.
I prefer the latter. Of course we (women) want men to be able to articulate how they feel about us through both actions and words, but I much rather would have the unconscious acts that show his love (like the cereal story above) versus the what could be BS coming out of his mouth.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 11:04 am
I’m going to say that actions don’t always speak louder than words. Some people put up fronts and try to come across as nonchalant, but they have all sorts of stuff going on in their head about a particular person. This also goes back to the “Say What You Mean” post that I wrote. If a chick smiles and and tells a dude it’s okay for him to go chill with some attractive chick, but inside it bothers the sh*t out of her…well…ummm….headache.
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Steph Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 11:32 am
I am thinking the more subconsious actions, like the cereal story above. Small acts of kindness that are done without thinking about it.
Besides, I don’t condone women smiling when really pissed. It only causes trouble in the long run!
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:22 pm
We all know women do that silliness sometimes, in an effort to minimize the potential beef in the moment, though she may be in effect, creating more in the future…
What about when dudes say one thing and do one thing, but feel something else?
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Yeah Whatev Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:31 pm
“My whole thing is guys may open up and tell you their feelings but there are so many guys out there who try this as game that it’s hard to believe them.”
Exactly, I have certainly experienced this. Guys will express feelings especially when they are in heavy pursuit of some tantalizing new prospect. They will tell you what they know you want to hear. They will do what they know you want them to do. This includes saying all the lovey-dove stuff, romantic gestures, calling everyday just to hear your voice (LOL), appearing to share “deep, personal” feelings/secrets, appearing sensitive, appearing fun/outgoing, appearing to want commitment, etc. When this all happens way too early in dating, it is most likely a red flag. Someone shouldn’t be saying they are falling in love with you and that you are their destiny after just 2 months of dating. Fronts usually quickly fade with time especially if they aren’t getting exactly what they want from you with all that effort. Then it’s a complete 180 and then *singing* you see the true colors come shinnninnnggg throoouggghhh!
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I think women sometimes need to be immediately gratified when it comes to emotions. I think its because in your relationships with your friends, as soon as you ask a question, your friend is probably gonna spill her guts out. With dudes just wait. Ask and if he doesnt answer forget about it. Dont keep prodding. Eventually we’ll tell you and if we dont tell you, you probably have your answer there.
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 10:42 am
I have started a new page in my notebook 4 Professor Peyso- Graciass
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Holly GoLightly Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 11:44 am
And what’s that answer?
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Great post, Slim. This one right here jumped out at me:
“Do not hammer us with questions or probe us to show emotion. ”
I think this can go for everyone, man, woman, and whatever Joan Rivers is. Yes, even us emotional creatures. Especially when someone is irritated or pissed about something. Usually no one wants someone stepping to them aggravating them about what’s bothering them right at the moment they’re most bothered. When you’re majorly pissed, sometimes you want to be left alone in that moment instead of being poked at by some psychologist-wannabe. And furthermore, that person usually ends up being
tossed into the Grand Canyoneven more bothersome than what you were bothered about in the first place.Reply
I guess my issue is this: While we are known to sometimes have a more clear idea of what we want and the way we feel sooner than men, I think it unfair that it’s typically left to us to initialize the “how do you feel about me” conversation.
I’ve heard guys say, “well, if you bring it up, he’ll tell you.” That’s not comforting at all. Why should I have to bring it up? “Why can’t [I] just say what [I] mean?!” you ask? To that, I ask, Why can’t you just say what you feeeel
without my having to ask?! Perhaps, both answers are one in the same. I can’t read your mind nor your emotions, and it shouldn’t be expected of me to have to pry it out of you.So, baby, you got feelings, huh? Why don’t you just tell me what they are once you know them?
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:49 pm
This is a general response to everybody:
If you wanna know sumthin, then ask. If he doesn’t answer right away, set a time/deadline to re-evaluate and talk about it again. If you can’t wait for that, be out. If his answer isn’t to your liking, be out. That’s why you need to establish this dynamic of communication up front. And if you do establish it and you still end up frustrated, he’s a jerk/immature/tough cookie and you didn’t screen him properly. Maybe he was the EDG and you ODed and caught feelings. Who knows?lol.
Asking someone to expose their vulnerabilities is a helluva lot different than asking someone to just say what they mean when they say it the first time. That’s why I hate a lot of these love movies where a dude says all this lovey-dovey stuff and the women go splash about it.
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MaPockets Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
splash. LOL!
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 1:26 pm
“Asking someone to expose their vulnerabilities is a helluva lot different than asking someone to just say what they mean when they say it the first time.”
Fair enough. But women are expected to (and do) express our vulnerabilities all the time. More often than not, she’s already vulnerable and is still expected to vulnerabilize (I realize this is not a word, thanks) herself even more by asking him how he feels. This is such a double standard. I don’t understand how a man can be vulnerable to a woman who’s already expressed feelings for him.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 1:44 pm
this dialogue is dipping into a post that is in the works…
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Yeah Whatev Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:37 pm
I agree with Slim. It’s the movies, television shows, romantic paperback novels (Zane, Jerome Dickey) screwing with our perceptions of how relationships should be.
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Ok I can’t take it any longer I have to share:
This week I’ve had 2 separate convos w males and here is how they started:
Male#1 “B&TT please don’t get offended but all women are whores”
Male#2” B&TT I’m only telling you this because we’re cool….I am so sick of bitches”
Of course I am not offended because I’m a goddess not a bitch or simply a woman..but anywho
Male#2 “I hate when bitches do things to get a reaction out of me…I won’t respond…”
I continue to take notes
But I am so goddamn confused…I need to stay after class for extra help or some shit
I don’t want a mute or a sugar lips brother…I want communication
I don’t want to solve a jigsaw puzzle or a rubix cube in order to have an answer revealed about how you feel about me…
And I refuse to stick around if we cannot grow together
Let the dialogue flow…I’m a continue to take notes……..
I have a lot to learn
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ainz Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 4:11 pm
“I don’t want to solve a jigsaw puzzle or a rubix cube in order to have an answer revealed about how you feel about me…
And I refuse to stick around if we cannot grow together
Let the dialogue flow…”
I agree with you a 100% things should never be so complicated at all..If it gets to that point you have to do whats best for you. Male or female no one isn’t going to do something that they don’t want to do.
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“…you gotta be supportive and acknowledge that. The more you show that you’re interested in what he takes pride in and that it’s okay to come to you about stuff, the easier it’ll be for him to share the deeper (you will like this sexual or nonsexual) stuff.”
So, let me stroke your ego so that I can make you feel comfortable coming to me…about us? Psh…there goes that same double-standed-Bee-Ess a man-friend of mine was trying to pin on me just the other day! Okay, so if that’s the case, men should be ‘supportive’ of our emotional needs and they should also ‘acknowledge’ them through showing interest in what WE take pride in. And I believe that many women take pride in knowing, at all times if possible, the emotional strengths and weaknesses in their relationship/potential relationship. You take pride in winning the fantasy league SuperBowl. I take pride in knowing how you feel, because having that information sometimes makes it easier to stroke your ego (wait…should I say ‘pause’ after that? Because everyone else is. Ok, pause). Like, I’m not with you/tryna be with you to pat you on the back for the little stuff that has nothing to do with us, when I don’t even know yet how you feel about us lol. Why is ego-stroking like the key to the secret garden of your mind and heart? I feel like letting me in on a piece of your mind and heart are the keys to get me to stroke your ego.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 1:25 pm
“Okay, so if that’s the case, men should be ’supportive’ of our emotional needs and they should also ‘acknowledge’ them through showing interest in what WE take pride in. ”
I completely agree. I support this comment.
“And I believe that many women take pride in knowing, at all times if possible, the emotional strengths and weaknesses in their relationship/potential relationship. You take pride in winning the fantasy league SuperBowl. I take pride in knowing how you feel, because having that information sometimes makes it easier to stroke your ego ”
I don’t support this comment. I lied. And I take pride in scaling mountains…another very difficult task.
“Like, I’m not with you/tryna be with you to pat you on the back for the little stuff that has nothing to do with us, when I don’t even know yet how you feel about us lol.”
“Little stuff” is trivializing what we consider important or sources of joy. “Little stuff” is the “simple things”. Forgoing the “little stuff” will lead to little progress.
Why is ego-stroking like the key to the secret garden of your mind and heart?
For the same reason that spitting game and coming across as a confident (and decent looking) dude
and perhaps some alcoholis the key to the poompoom.Got me all fired up and sh*t.lol
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MaPockets Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 1:42 pm
::slow confused clap::
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ainz Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 4:12 pm
yea Slim..
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Peyso from the Brook Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:33 pm
I dont know about you MaPockets, but I’ve been forced to act interested in some damn heels while she tried them on in Macy’s then running to another store to see if they had em cheaper then coming back to Macy’s only not to buy the shoe. I WENT & SAW Sex & the City with a chick. Most guys will do stuff they dont wanna do so we acknowledge the stuff you’re interested. So it aint no double standard.
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MaPockets Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:50 pm
see below for your response, Peyso. I’m new to this…CLEARLY.
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Cheekie Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:01 pm
@Peyso: Ain’t them damn heels also for your benefit? I’m just sayin. They call ‘em “freakem [insert clothing item here]” for a reason.
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Peyso from the Brook Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Yes heels do accentuate a woman’s shape a bit more but I could care less about the actual shoe, all heels are created equal to me. Once you got a pair that aint busted you good.
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You were forced? Who forced you? Shame on them.
I wouldn’t necessarily call shoestore-hopping something we’re “interested in,” it’s more a necessity than an interest; we do that whether you come along or not (by the way, I’m sure if you were paying for those kicks, you’d appreciate the whole “running to another store to see if they had em cheaper”). Shopping for shoes and seeing Sex and The City with us may be examples of the “little things” Slim was talking about earlier. However, these things still have very little weight when it comes to what’s really important to us: knowing how you feel.
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Peyso from the Brook Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:05 pm
I think that we are really analyzing this issue in a way that is beneficial to our understanding. Substitute communication with something else and see how it works. How about this hypotheticalexample, I like to have weird sex. Not like seriously strange things like animals and sh*t but like I’m a little bit more adventurous. However, you’re not into those things. You’re just not comfortable with those things. You’re into plain ole missionary. Once I tell you how unhappy I am sexually, should I expect an immediate change in the way we have sex? Or will have to kind of coax you and slowly get you more comfortable with the idea (sometime performing regular ole missionary to make you happy (read: do the things your interested in)) before I get what I want? Or should I just dump you b/c I said I wanted something that you happened to be uncomfortable doing at the time? I give you no time to become more comfortable or nothing.
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Professor Peyso, I have a question….
If u continue to perform missionary…how long will you wait until your need 4 more adventurous bedroom play is met?
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Peyso from the Brook Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:18 pm
It can vary on situation to situation.
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Brooklyn's Own Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:21 pm
I’ve been reading over the comments and just felt a need to briefly respond.
“Shopping for shoes and seeing Sex and The City with us may be examples of the “little things” Slim was talking about earlier. However, these things still have very little weight when it comes to what’s really important to us: knowing how you feel.”
More often than not you will know how a guy feels if you pay attention to his actions as Tiff stated earlier. Words are like the icing on the cake however if the cake itself isn’t good then there’s no need to pay attention to the icing. I had a convo with one of my homegirls last night about something similar. If i’m giving you MY TIME which is the most important asset any human being has have, since there’s only a limited supply of it, and MY ACTIONS indicate i’m feeling you and care about you (i.e. little things) then you should know how I feel and me saying it as I stated before is just icing on the cake. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:28 pm
TIME!
Ok that is going in bold in my notes….
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:41 pm
If you were a deaf mute, your actions would hold a lot more weight with me. So, while I do appreciate your actions, I still want a little verbal validation. I don’t get why that’s so hard. The responses I’ve seen on here from dudes have all been excuses and menial rationales for why it’s okay to not verbally communicate how you feel. I neither accept nor support this.
I don’t expect a dramatic declaration of love. Something as simple as, “Girl, I enjoy the time we spend together” or “you mean a lot to me” would
make me splashbe enough for me.Reply
Peyso from the Brook Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:54 pm
No that’s not were trying to do, we’re just saying dont expect us to be as open as you as soon as you are. That is all
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MaPockets Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 3:53 pm
You can give an E.D.G. time, too. And some action. But I’m pretty sure at some point, either before or after, it’s the lack of words that make it very clear to that person that they were nothing more than an E.D.G. Just like you can give a chick you genuinely enjoy time and action…but throw the right words in there too, and I doubt she’ll be wondering “how does he feel about me?” all the time.
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u know, i would like to venture to say that men are becoming more feeling and moody creatures then women… and it’s annoying…
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Sounds like you may have a story to tell eh?
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ainz Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 4:06 pm
lol..that mite just be true, they are some real emotional dudes out there..
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Yeah Whatev Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 7:03 pm
we need more emotional dudes…then we, women, will be less confused. By emotional we don’t mean crying more than we do or talking about “feelings” all the time. We mean just let go of some that ego and fear of looking like a sissy at times. I know everyone has seen “Boyz in the Hood” when Cuba Gooding Jr.’s character broke down and then he got “comforted” from Jada’s character. See! Even “soft” emotions can lead to good things…lol
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Brooklyn's Own Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 7:56 pm
So basically, the woman here feel guys need to get they 808 & Heartbreak on?
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Ok, i can really speak on this my day is slowing down.
Now this may not speak for all the dudes up here, im just going off my own personal experieneces. I use to be the quiet type not very vocal when it came to my emotions. I think thats changed as i’ve gotten older, that change came with the relationship that im in now.
Over time when i got comfortable with my lady i’ve gotten comfortable to be able to express the way i feel towards her. Now Slim is right please pay attention to the little things that we do. Sometimes its easier to show you we care by some of the actions that we do. Now ladies you wont make a man do anything till he is ready. Thats the honest truth, you just have to know where you are going to draw the line on certain issues.
Now i got a text from my lady about 20 mins ago she asked “you love me?” i said “yes i do” she asked “more than your sneakers” i replied “yes,lol”. Now she has asked me the sneaker part for the last 3 years cause of my obsessive sneaker purchases. Thats been our little joke, but i don’t question her feelings for me, and she don’t have to worry about where i stand. Now it took forever for us to get to this point. If we didn’t communicate i’m not sure where we would be. I do understand that ladies you need to that verbal confirmation, just like we men need our ego’s to be stroked sometimes (pause). At the end of the day what are you really willing to do for your relationship to work?
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 5:03 pm
**Presents trophy to ainz as his workplace productivity decreases**
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
January 22nd, 2009 at 6:44 pm
Awwww! This was great!
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