Baby, I’m Tired…
I don’t think I need to romanticize this first paragraph to paint an image in your head to get this cracking. You’ve heard these words before. You remember exactly when you heard them, you remember where you were, you remember what you were or weren’t wearing at the time. And you just lay there picturing yourself 15 years older standing around your kitchen table in a Brooks Brother’s/Donna Karan suit penciling in sex with your significant other between a dentist appointment and your cycling class.
Between traveling and having my laptop go on the fritz, your boy has been away for a while. Upon my return, I read a curious quote from Ms. Jenkins…something about turning down a sex request starting an argument. Now, if you are just messing around with someone sans commitment, I guess you could have a few nights off here or there. But if we are together, or even worse, shacking up, I’m sorry but the store has to stay open 24/7. Only God knows when I might feel like eating something. (Tons of pun intended.)
I think everyone here has had their battles trying to find their ideal significant other, so why in the world when you finally find this person, do you shoot yourself in the foot by denying sex? And if we do have sex, and I’m up for another round, dont tap out. Being hard enough to kill 10,000 Phillistines with your joint while your girl snores her life away is very frustrating, but being denied a 2nd round is probably worse, because now you got the taste on your mind. The last thing you want to hear is “Baby, I’m tired” or “It’s a little sore”.
As a man, I have no earthly justification for a man saying this to a woman. I’d come out of a coma for some cut. If you start dating a young lady that has a rather healthy sexual appetite and you discover you cant keep up, it’s best that you bow out the game early. It’s only so long you can go subbin’ the lick for the stick. It’s going to hurt your pride, but your pride will be hurt even more when you find she’s cheating on you with “that guy?!”.
Ladies, just assume that your man wants to have sex every single waking hour of the day. I’m sure there are some times during the day where sex isn’t at the front of our minds, but get naked and see what happens. I don’t care if you are tired. Don’t tell me that. Fake it as long as you can. After all, you just end up laying there, how much energy could that possibly take? Like Katt Williams said before he got smacked up at his own show “If you cant do it, we know the raggedy b*tch that will…and we DO have her number!” And she’s very energetic.
Let’s be real. Yea, you’d want to think that your lover is into you because they love looking deep into your eyes, or the way you purse your lips, or your cynical sense of humor, or your excellent companionship but face it, if you didn’t make the cut in the sack, you’d be right back on match.com giving it another shot. Granted, just having more sex may not be a cure-all, but it sure can’t hurt to try. Hell, I’ll probably appreciate the effort more than the sex itself. Is it a coincidence that the end of the “peachy phase” is usually marked by less sex? Probably not. You can’t possibly expect someone to make a serious commitment to give you their all if you can’t give them your all…all the time. That’s the way the cookie crumbles…so come up off that cookie!
Supposedly women like sex just as much if not more than men. But for some odd reason, every now and then women decide to tap out or not even get in the game to begin with. I’ve entertained the thought of “maybe I’m the problem.” But that was just a phase…I have superior genetic make-up. It can’t possibly be me. And I know I’m not the only nympho out there. Anybody else get shutdown mid-launch sequence? Now that you’ve read the post are you realizing that you tap out on your gf/bf a lot? Or maybe you get tapped out on? Whatever the case, let’s get nasty…
RightCoastLexSteele
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So as energetic as I am, I can’t rock with you on the “It’s a little sore” bow out. If I’m tired, I’ll let you know & do what I can (I’ve def been given good reason to wake up before), but if you can’t respect potential injury, go call that raggedy jawn, ‘cuz you’re worse than she is.
I’ll be damned if I mess something up because you can’t take that one for the team. As good as *some* soreness can be, your body gets sore for *a reason*. It’s telling you to take a break. What happens if something goes wrong and your girl winds up outta commission for a good while with some type of injury? You get to call the “raggedy b*tch” then?
[btw, I thought Katt meant when you just won't do/try something. Not needing a night off. Just sayin'.]
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RightCoastLexSteele, Cuz I'm that damn good Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Ok. Some quick clarification. First off, I have no problem “waking you up”. That’s why I prefer to know the store is always open so I get myself a “late night snack”. Second, if we been gunning for 2 hours, I understand cuz truth be told when doing it right, brothers feel some discomfort after running the pumpington for a while. But if you’re tapping out after the previews that come on BEFORE the opening credits to the main attraction, then I got beef.
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I am going to have to go with Katchin on this one. I can go with the best of ‘em but when the lady is sore…she’s sore and I don’t push her. Experience has shown me that if I keep going I’ll not be able to walk. Or even worse I’ll have back pain and legs that go out on me. Do you really wanna go to the hospital…or would you rather snuggle up? Beyond that, if she’s not working right I might be willing to use my oratory skills, but trust you will be taken care of…I’m not saying, but I’m just saying Damn Lex…much as I love it I also am not tryna have you wear me out until I become a hall way…and you’re throwing lil smokies (or so it feels)
K, Thanks!
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MaPockets Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 12:23 pm
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! “k thanks”
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I co-sign with the two comments above. The “I’m sore, talk is not a cop-out in most cases and most women know their bodies well enough to know when they can’t take another round. If you give us until morning or the next night we should be ready to roll, but damn…cut us some slack before calling some other chick!!
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 8:41 pm
word… esp if you’re out of shape like i am, it’s impossible to keep it going all night long. i’ll be the first to catch a leg cramp or something, and if that happens, i’ll have a bad attitude after that lol. so yeah, i know my limits, sorry boo if that doesn’t work for him!
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So… Let’s see… I agree with the other ladies, so far. When you’re truly tired, that should be that on that. However, what I DO NOT agree with is holding out “just because fill-in-the-blank”. I’m 31. Sex, so far in my 30′s has been great for a whole lot of reasons. When it’s good, I probably want it as much as he does. I don’t believe in playing hold out games.
Honestly, it’s how the man responds to “I’m tired” and “It’s sore”. If you’re a pouter, either you’re getting the pity p*ssy a.k.a. the “(sighing loudly) Come on…” OR you’re getting an EXXtra cold shoulder. No woman wants to have to justify why she ain’t giving you none. If you take it in stride, don’t withold affection (you pouters tend to do that when you don’t get it) and act like (even if you’re pouting on the inside) you’re just fine being with her, CHANCES ARE you’re still gonna get some… There’s something about some well-placed nonchalance that’s sexy on a man.
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Katchin05 Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 1:01 am
If you take it in stride, don’t withold affection, and act like you’re just fine being with her, CHANCES ARE you’re still gonna get some… There’s something about some well-placed nonchalance that’s sexy on a man.
Word! Sometimes all you gotta do is be nice & ask twice!
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Jac Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 10:03 am
See that’s what I’m saying…all that pouting and pitching fits and sh*t just won’t get it. I know for me if you do somethings to arouse me a little more (I hope you men know what I mean) I might pop an Advil and get it poppin again…but you have to be real special for me to go out of my way like that
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MaPockets Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 12:24 pm
YES! I am feeling that one. Take it like a pro…and then ask again. Usually that’s the winner
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 8:44 pm
yes… i can def co-sign on that. nothing’s worse than a dude trying to give you a guilt trip… thats what i call DESPERATION!
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“If you start dating a young lady that has a rather healthy sexual appetite and you discover you cant keep up, it’s best that you bow out the game early. It’s only so long you can go subbin’ the lick for the stick. ”
HA!! Shit, I’ll be 30 this year and I have ALWAYS been this chick. I HATE getting into relationships with weak ass men that can’t keep up. So I’m the one that has gone to sleep pissed on more than a few occasions. And I prefer the stick over the lick any day. I’m an unashamed certified nymphomaniac and I WILL (and have) leave/left yo tired ass for THAT man that can and will happily, REPEATEDLY handle my shit right. So…men aren’t the only ones that find themselves in this tragic predicament.
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Cuz Peyso Says So Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 10:40 am
Where do u live?
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GOLDEN_LADY Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 2:22 pm
LMAO! Iowa/Chicago. And the D in Chicago is waay more plentiful and of higher quality that Iowa. AND YES, there ARE Blacks in Iowa. I’m glad I have alot of ish to keep me busy, otherwise I’d be pretty damn sexually frustrated.
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Cuz Peyso Says So Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 2:38 pm
I think I might have to make that move out to Io….
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I’ve never to turn a man down for s3x…. I have a fear that turning him down would incite, “if you don’t do it, someone else will.”
On the other hand, I have a friend whose man groped her like a 300 lb man gropes Krispy Kreme donuts and wanted it literally ANY TIME they were alone together. IN that instance, I’d probably have to open my mouth and say something. Women aren’t programmed like men, our stuff needs a rest. It gets sore!
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Lex you are this site’s comic relief!! Thanks for being honest and funny, don’t change!!
I understand where you’re coming from, being turned down when you’re turned on, is no laughing matter. But “being too sore” is no laughing matter either. If there was some kind of numbing lubricant on the market and then that may solve that problem, but as far as I know there is no such thing. So you gotta be more sensitive and understanding men!!!
Also any woman with a normal menstrual cycle goes through hormonal changes within the cycle which sometimes temporarily “lowers” our sex drive.
But enough about us ladies …ummm hello??? Men run out of steam too (high sex drive or not) and sometimes they get so comfortable with getting head they tend to neglect the pumpum- what about them apples???!!!!
And you know what else? I think that even if the men that share this one-sided view had their “nympho” they’d still call up the raggedy bitch……..
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I somehow agree with ya bruh and dont agree with ya at the same time. Who wants to be no? I’ve sent someone to the hospital and its not a pretty feeling….
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GOLDEN_LADY Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Wwwooowww…I’m a little mad @ that and intrigued at time same time o_O lol!
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Kudos. You speak the truth RCLS. I just don’t understand how in a long term relationship, some people don’t look at sex as a responsibility. It’s like taking ole’girl out to a nice dinner and then saying “i don’t feel like paying the check tonite”. A dude can probably get away with that once. And everyone forgets their wallet sometimes. Well I don’t, but I hear there are lames who do. But when it’s every other night that you’re declining to pull your weight on the tab, then I’m pretty sure ole girl will find a new dining partner asap – unless shes a lame too.
As far as the soreness goes, I’m not an advocate of making anyone need stitches. I’ve found out the hard way (heh) that “he made me walk funny” sex isn’t for all ladies, and for some, isn’t for every night. But ladies, guys aren’t dumb. We’ve got a good idea when you’re probably faking the noises, and we’ve got a good idea when you’re probably making an excuse. Sudden headaches? Fatigue out of the blue? Yeah, we know whats up. Only thing I’d have to disagree with is the second round. If we got the first round in and you aren’t up for a second, I’m gonna be annoyed, but at least you made an effort.
Last thought is on reactions to your no. I’m pretty sure its a safe bet to say that people are most irrational when they’re horny. If I’m ready to go and you give me the cold shoulder, lets just say I’m not gonna be the same person for a little while. Shit, guys gotta deal with irrationality for an entire week every month. And there’s no way to prevent it. It shouldn’t be hard to deal with 5 minutes of preventable insanity.
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“If you cant do it, we know the raggedy b*tch that will…and we DO have her number!” And she’s very energetic
RCLS, u had me chuckling silently at my desk on this one!
I can’t lie, I’ve refused the pum before, but mostly due to reasons like I ‘d have alot of work to finish b4 I could go to bed or was just exhausted from Red Bull-induced all-nighters (school, yes). Still, didn’t go over too well with Mr. Mans.
But fellas, what about when we DO give in, and then YOU can’t perform round 2, cuz you’re too sensitive?? HA talk about disappointment!! Then, its cool for you to turn around and pass out? Hmph! Speak on that!
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RightCoastLexSteele, Cuz I'm that damn good Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Lex go 15 rounds like an old school prize fighter.
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Southern Belle Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 5:56 pm
For the record, when it’s some good stick, I might need a break but I won’t tap out and comatose. However, when the 2nd & 3rd time quality is grade E like the meat at Taco Bell, I’m probably going to go to sleep salty and wake up the same way. I can’t pretend I’ve had so much experience, but there’s a lot to learn when you have few partners on rotate over a long period of time: not too many men are consistent at anything, let alone sex. The ones who swing a consistently good bat, now that’s prize worthy.
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Just because you made a chick sore, doesn’t mean your stroke was fire; that ish could have been sloppy and aggressive so much so that she’ll walk out of your house like Gumby. If it’s good, I’ll go for as many rounds as he’s willing, and I think that serves true for a lot of women. It’s like shoes; if we’re hungover and have enough work to layer a desk, we’ll still dash to the mall to pick up a pair that we can’t resist. You’re never too tired to do something that you crave. If she’s playing the tired card, it could just mean that for x (y and/or z) reason(s) she just doesn’t want it. If the shoe was on the other foot and he told me he was too tired, truthfully I’d get a little offended;
you’re never too tired to lay on your back.Or maybe he/she is just tired…RIGHT.
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Britt Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Hel-lo!
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Cuz Peyso Says So Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 1:25 pm
“Like every color, Giuseppe’s your guilty pleasure is me”….
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“Just because you made a chick sore, doesn’t mean your stroke was fire; that ish could have been sloppy and aggressive so much so that she’ll walk out of your house like Gumby.”
Girl you got me sniggling ova here!!!!
…Where the men @ today??????
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Seattle Washington Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 1:26 pm
My bad B&TT, I was over here busy with my current girl. Fortunately my job can’t get enough of the kid, so I never have the problem that RCLS is talking about.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Hmm…I think I ran into this scenario like one time ever. That person is now an ex for a multitude of other reasons (cursed be her soul). I really don’t need to have sex every day, but it is indeed very nice to know that the store is open for business 24/7. It also doesn’t take much for shorty to get me in the mood if she wants to the feel the wrath of my sting. The transition from Sir Cuddlesworth to Lord Pumpington happens in the blink of an eye. With the speed of The Flash, I’m reaching for and putting on the C cuz I’ve been called to duty. I’m a fan of rounds 2 and 3 cuz the tank is cleared and I don’t gotta think about sports, elephants, ugly monsters, or Tetris while watching the clock and keeping my stroke count. With all that said, I feel like having sex….
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Cuz Peyso Says So Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 1:39 pm
“I’m a fan of rounds 2 and 3 cuz the tank is cleared and I don’t gotta think about sports, elephants, ugly monsters, or Tetris while watching the clock and keeping my stroke count.”
For some reason thinking about Scarface works for me….
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GOLDEN_LADY Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 2:30 pm
LMAO@ Sir Cuddlesworth & Lord Pumpington!
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Hilarious. That has to be the sucky thing about being a man. As a woman, if I am horny I can get my man horny with ease. But it might not be so easy the other way around. Aww poor guys, lol.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 1:28 pm
I’m happy to see one of you young ladies can sympathize with our ordeal.
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Southern Belle Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Oh the power of the punani, so divine.
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Um. How about no?
Until a man has papers on me, I’m not REQUIRED to do a damn thing I don’t feel like doing. You’re getting it on a lease with an option to buy. And only OWNERS can dictate store hours.
Now, I don’t believe in holding out for the hell of it. And I’m pretty much down for whatever a good 95% of the time. So when I say I’m tired, I mean just that. I will roll over and sleep soundly through all of your huffs, puffs, and attitudes. Any man who dips out because he gets an occasional no is not worth keeping to me. Deuces, dude.
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 8:54 pm
CO-SIGN!
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I once came back into my GF’s place after a party (back in college) at like 5am. I was tired, I had a test earlier, and I just wanted to sleep. She was up and ready. I pushed through the pain, and proceeded to give her the bidness … and no half assing it either.
Of course the tables turned some time down the line … and “I’m so sleepy” was all I got.
This is an injustice to all men everywhere. I am gonna keep red bull’s and adrenaline injections in my house from now on just for the next time I hear this.
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Jac Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Oh lawd…you pitiful pitiful child.
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kendra Reply:
March 5th, 2010 at 11:27 am
OMG that is so messed up i’m so sorry that happened to you.
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Oh boy! I have yet to be with a man who can keep up with my sextabolism. I think about sex all the time, and cannot imagine the day that my TBD future husband and I only have sex occasionally (because it will not happen). I think it’s definitely give and take though. When your man is itching and you’re not necessarily in the mood, maybe you’ll give in if you think about how he’ll repay you in the future when the situation is reversed.
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Once or twice is acceptable but if this is persistent, you gotta step it up or dip. Trust me, I know just awkwardly chuckin D at the squishy cavern does not equal a fire stroke, but…ya boy stroke is fire. (Resume available upon request.) And yes, you aren’t REQUIRED to do a damn thing, but some concessions outside the contract can’t hurt. I may not be the owner but when you keep screamin “OHH, This is YOUR yssup” I get confused.
This is not a defense of B game or C game type cats. This is a for all the A game, high grade, dedicated cocksmen everywhere. Like I said, if homie can’t cut it, you know he gets cuts quickly and for the same antics. So why should this blasphemy be tolerated by us?
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Southern Belle Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 7:04 pm
You’re a great writer. I think that can be determined when one writes something so powerful that people have no choice but to believe it.
…and baby, I believe it. Hel-lo!
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niasmomma Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Do you need the “connection”, or do you just need to know you can f*ck when you want to? Do you really want her to desire you all the time, or do you want her to do you out of obligation? You play a big part in whether the outcome swings in your favor. That outcome, then, is not as much a matter of selection (how many loose women you can run through ’til you find the right “fit”), but a matter of strategy.
A lot of men just aren’t playing their cards right, unfortunately – especially in cohabitating situations. There are so many facets of attractiveness that are tested when you live with a person. Often, living with you, your habits AND your incessant smacking on her big, round ass every time you pass her in the home could be a bit much for a girl. Seriously… Sometimes she might be “I’ve been to work and had a long, stressful day” tired; sometimes she might be just tired of you.
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We just had an arguement about this I said I wanted to just spend time together and chill but he always wants to mess around. This was because I dont want to fake it. I am a genuine person and if I am feeling the moment then I want to do it but if I dont feel like it then Im not gonna fake it. After reading this I realize that I shouldnt deny him what he wants but if I really dont feel good he should be understanding.
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I personally am a virgin but when i begin to have sex i agree with this post 100%…no matter what the situation is you need to give your body to your man even if its that time of the month, you at least need to perform fallatio…but a man also needs to give in to his womans sexual appetite no matter what the situation is…if your to exhausted to stimulate with your penis you need to rely on cunninglus.
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