Visit Our Store!
Baby…You Suck.
There’s never an easy way to let someone down, which is why people classically tip toe around the truth to “let them down easy”. In the workplace, it’s never easy to criticize a co-worker/superior/employee, but in the interest of running a lucrative operation, you have to deliver the news. In between the sheets however, it’s that much harder to deliver mind blowing orgasms constructive criticisms to someone who has shed all their inhibitions and shared themselves with you. But at what point do their feelings outweigh your desire to have your “daddy” smack your ass and pull your hair be satisfied sexually? Can you really just tell someone they suck in bed?
Honesty is the best policy
This phrase gets tossed around often and sounds like an urban legend rather than anything based in reality. People usually don’t enjoy hearing uncomfortable truths, especially when that truth might be that your self proclaimed “bomb ass head” is more like firecracker fellatio. Not fireworks, just firecracker. You can always elect to tell this person the truth, but at some point there has to be a cost analysis that occurs in your brain. What value is there in telling this person their efforts are futile? Maybe you have just been spoiled in the past and there is no need to shatter this person’s ego. It’s quite possible that either they aren’t that experienced, or they’ve actually practiced alot, and this is ’bout good as it’s gonna get. You can cut them loose and move on because after all, they’re not your problem anymore, right?
In casual sexual relationships, you can usually bypass this conversation by avoiding the person completely and start giving those little hints. No matter how much you like a person, it’s only so long you can fake it or pant “right there, right there” in vain. It becomes almost second nature to part ways with someone after one or two bad sexual experiences. No matter how many times you try to zone out and pretend he was someone else or think about sports, when you open your eyes you’ll be still be getting lame lip service. “Quality” sex is usually a deal breaker, but in trying times and special circumstances, mediocre sex is tolerated.
Special circumstances can range anywhere from “she’s stable” to something like “his daddy is filthy stinkin’ rich”. It becomes one of the things people usually “settle for”. Droughts usually persuade people to put up with lackluster performances until something better magically appears, or reappears. If you’re a good sport, you can try to teach them the arts, but there’s no guarantee that they’ll actually learn anything. People have a hard enough time discussing their feeling with one another because they think they might hurt the person, so the thought of slightly damaging their confidence and hurting their feelings. Some people just want the situation to become awkward when the person responds to your request with a polite “I don’t do that”, or the even more awkward revelation that you might actually be the problem. Ouch.
If you read my posts often, you’ll know that I usually just make observations as opposed to offer advice. I’ve personally used the avoidance technique in the past, knowing that I do not have the patience to coach anyone nor the tact to express myself and spare this person’s feelings simultaneously. I can’t supply you with the words to let someone down easy, but I can tell you that if you express yourself maliciously or with no real intention of helping this poor sap person improve their performance, it’s a complete waste of time. On the other hand, if you have a “Liar Liar” moment and impulsively tell your lover “No” when they say “Does that feel good?”, that might actually be kind of funny. Do you really need to have this conversation with this person? Should you just keep your opinion to yourself, or should you impart you knowledge? Are there different circumstances where the truth about their performances be told or with held? Have you ever had to break the news to someone? Is there an easy way to tell an emo-cat that he just wasted 2 minutes of your life? Can you possibly tell this crazy chick that her head game need practice? Is that 21 questions yet?
I can handle the truth,
RSS & Twitter
-
There are ways arounds this lmao. For the guy I had to break this to, I just told him that he fooled the shit outta me and had some making up and ass kissing to do because he used and abused me and waste my time soo he had a goal for next time. He took the shit-talking as a lesson & blew my back out the next time I saw him.. He better have cuz I would have really OD’d on him.
Ehh I don’t think lying to people will ever work. To your advantage or theirs. You’re losing out and you’re setting them up to be embarrassed by the next person, who may be truthful by default and never tells lies #NoGeorgeWashington. If a girl’s vagina sucks, she might need to read up on Ben wa balls and kegeling. If her mouth doesn’t work well, Superhead has a video out there (that I’ve yet to see…damnit.. But I don’t suck #noPun eeryone could use a few pointers). And there’s that “brushing the very back of your tongue trick” and bananas are great test dummies.
I think i’ve said enough… I’ll come back in the morning lol
Reply
CHeeKZ Money Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 8:56 am
hmmm…
I agree. Calling someone out on certain issues or selfishness is a good call. But if the actualy stroke is bad, this isn’t going to work, you are just going to get bad sheezies for a longer period of time.
I’m guilty of not putting in any effort sometimes (esp with jumpoffs). One jawn called me out severly. Even in front of her friend who walked in afterwards. She paid for that…
Also there are more problems with women than just bobbing and cavernness. Somone needs to teach these women how to ride. People do not discuss this issue enough. Its a dying art form. I don’t know how many times, I have seen a girl dance in a party/club, than you bag and you are completely dissappointed. Can some of you 90x brothers suggest and exercise these ladies can do to improve their hip abilities?
Reply
Marie Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 8:00 pm
ok I seriously understand your complaint. I realized a few weeks ago that my riding game has fallen off. I think I need to do some thigh exercises because I get tired. That would be great if you can find out and exercise for us because I’m to shame to ask.
Reply
Nisa Reply:
March 3rd, 2010 at 12:04 am
LMAO!!!
Reply
please excuse my extra letters and spelling fuckups
Its 3am…
Reply
I don’t bother. If it’s weak I follow Jay-Z’s creed and say “on to the next one.” I’ve had the very lucky experience of not coming across too many of these and when I have, I just make it a point not to really go there with them. I don’t know if I intentionally made it a point not to connect emotionally with the “not so great ones” or if the connection didn’t naturally grow because of a lack in a certain area. Either way, a lack of emotional ties, in my opinion, eliminates the need to have “the talk”. Just avoid, avoid, aviod until they get the point and go away, lol. The person they fall in love with will have the patience to work with them (or won’t have enough experience to know the difference).
Reply
I make it a point to let you know if your chex sucks. I do not hold back but I am nice about it. I also let you know what I feel your doing wrong & what you can do better to please me.
I am not goin to lie to you( in my book lyin about chex is a sin…LOL) so someone else in the long wrong will have to endure the same lack lustered chex I just had to.
When I was newbie in the chex game someone gave me pointers & I feel as real woman honesty is the best police when it comes to things like that…its like having food stuck in your teeth you would want someone to tell you…!!!
Reply
I’m a firm believer that there is only so much a partner can teach you in overall love making.
For instance, a good mouth hug comes from good mouth muscules, sure the hand work is important, but that is another skill (which woman are also terrible at). Since I have all my ribs, I have never had a sauage slug in my mouth (ll the very thought). I’m not goin to take a bannana and show you how to work it. I can only show you so much, and most of it has to due with bobbing pace. You are going to have to learn from other women… or gay men (let’s not be bias, an instructor is an instructor).
I always though to myself “what the hell does right there mean?” I’m going in and out, how can I keep it ‘right there’? Do you want me to put it in that spot and don’t move?!?! Women make no sense… that isn’t helpful. A vagina is 3 dimensional. What is right?
Reply
Renee Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:28 am
Don’t you know what feels good to you and what doesn’t, then whats the issue with sharing that with your girl. You don’t need to suck a d*** in order to know how you like yours sucked. So simple give pointers during, even after the act conversations are great, “I really liked when you *Blank* my *Blank* with your *Blank*, you should keep doing that”. I’ve had those conversations and they only make things better. Super heads aren’t born, they are trained lol (Keep that visual for the next time you meet one).
Reply
SoBKAllDAY Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:36 am
“People usually don’t enjoy hearing uncomfortable truths, especially when that truth might be that your self proclaimed “bomb ass head” is more like firecracker fellatio.”
This is No Bueno!
“Super heads aren’t born, they are trained lol (Keep that visual for the next time you meet one).”
Amen! Chuuch! HALELULJAH!
Reply
Peyso Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:38 am
“You don’t need to suck a d*** in order to know how you like yours sucked.”
I agree but disagree. I disagree b/c its hard to decribe a sensation. I know what it felt like but I dont know what you did to make it feel that wat. Cant I just say “last time you suck3d the soul out of me…DO IT AGAIN!!!”
Reply
Anger Management Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 12:45 pm
“Cant I just say “last time you suck3d the soul out of me…DO IT AGAIN!!!”
OMG I just flatlined
Reply
Renee Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 12:45 pm
Uuuummmmhhhh open your eyes once in a while Peyso lol, getting lost in the bliss.
Reply
CHeeKZ Money Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 12:58 pm
CO-sign.
y’all damn well know that sometimes you suck better than others! Just put the effort in damn it!
Sometimes I know wifey is holding back, trying to save it for my birthday and ishh. Suck me till I want to smack you!
Reply
Mediocre sex is annoying and almost not worth the fingerprint on the window. (I forgot what movie that’s from…someone help me out.)
I didn’t have conversation about it (by it I mean plenty of times). I could have, but I kinda wasn’t in the mood to teach and all that. I think mostly because I wasn’t invested enough in whatever we had. Maybe if there was a future, or the hope thereof, I would have said something. *shrugs*
Reply
InsomniaPoet Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:29 am
Wasn’t that Titanic, with the handprint on the car window?
Reply
I think that most men wouldnt mind the instruction (emphasis on most). If I’m doing something that doesnt work (it probably works for someone out there), let me know and we can fix that. I’ve hit enough homers that trading a single this time so that I can hit a homer next time isnt going to hurt my feelings.
I’ve definitely told girls to stop because if I hadnt we would have been there all night. And not the good kind of all night.
I think we all need to develop an expanded bag of tricks and remember that people are individuals. Tricks that worked for the old person might not work for this one. You gotta bring your tool kit and hard hat to work everytime
Reply
Usually when a girl isn’t good in bed it’s because she’s not comfortable with the person she’s having sex with…
If you make a woman feel comfortable in every other aspect–she’ll usually take good care of you, but im sure there are exceptions.
There are though alot of women giving BAD HEAD. I think that can be coached through.
Everything else can be resolved with some kegels, good hygiene & vabreeze #seewhatIdidthere
As men we all know the pressure is really on us, and we aren’t always all-stars. It’s crazy how you can tear some girls up & then another one will have you so intimidated that you fold (the first time only hehe)
So situational, methinks.
Reply
Renee Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 12:54 pm
“Usually when a girl isn’t good in bed it’s because she’s not comfortable with the person she’s having sex with…”
Definite co-sign! Also you could have a “Shy Ronnie” on your hands, sometimes a woman sucks because she is too shy to ask for what she wants, therefore she never gets it, which leads her to believe the man sucks, it’s a vicious cycle.
Reply
I think it all depends on what you want to come out of that relationship. If it’s just sex, then don’t waste ur time explaining, (or risk that they might be crazy and flip out) just move on to the next. If you really like this person and sex/head is the only thing leaving something to be desired, be honest. Say something like “can we try this tonight” or even make it like ur talkin dirty, when really you’re giving pointers. I had never given head before my college sweetheart, and I flat out asked him for tips. Together, we mastered the art of falacio. But I’d probably still be wack if he had never taken the time to work with me and let me know what feels good.
But there’s no need to point out things that can’t be fixed. Trust me, I wanted to tell one or 2 dudes their d*ck was too thin but what good would that have done? So just move along…
Reply
clsmoove Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 10:52 am
“Trust me, I wanted to tell one or 2 dudes their d*ck was too thin but what good would that have done?”
bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
thank you for this. i have a feeling that my day just got a lot better.
Reply
InsomniaPoet Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:29 am
“I think it all depends on what you want to come out of that relationship.”
I totally agree with this. If someone is just a space filler, then you just take the L and keep it moving. Yes, you wasted an hour of your life but hell what can you do. If someone is the one in every other way then it is at least worth a try of having a talk. I’ve learned a lot of people just do what they have been told worked for someone else and don’t realize that every person is different and likes different things.
Alternatively, I think people who are truly good in the bedroom know how to make a bad night better. Some people are just too lazy and expect that all the work is on the other party…as a female you can move your hips a little, or angle your body differently, or something! But if you are just laying there I would argue the man isn’t the problem you are. It takes two to Tango, not one, and I think some females believe just providing a target is good enough. Even if the man is physically inferior there are positions that you can find to maximize what it is they have to offer.
Reply
RightCoastLexSteele Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:59 am
I recommend investing in some “sex furniture”. Liberator.com -nsfw at all. Some of the stuff could get a little pricey, but there are always things lying around the bedroom that can provide assistance, such as placing a pillow under the small of her back.
Reply
CHeeKZ Money Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 1:22 pm
THIS IS THE MOST POWERFUL POST EVERY WRITTEN!
CO-sign times Infinity!
You have hit the nail on the head. I can’t even express to you how much the male sex owes to you for writing this post. I damn all woman who lay there like a dead fish. Damn you to hell!
There are some of you write now that are looking away in shame, b/c InsomniaPoet the great has exposed for you the lazy plow holes who you are.
I’m tired to be asked to get on top. Damn, some of you aren’t even able to hold a decent doggstyle pose (face down @$$ up! Stop running away!). I’m not even going to say no more b/c InsomniaPoet the great just said it all.
CHURCH. TABERNACLE. HOLY GHOST. REVIAL. EASTER WHITE AIR FORCE ONES. NICENE CREED. HOLY WATER. KIRK FRANKLIN. AMEN!
Reply
InsomniaPoet Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 2:55 pm
LOL thanks for making me feel wise
Reply
“On the other hand, if you have a “Liar Liar” moment and impulsively tell your lover “No” when they say “Does that feel good?”, that might actually be kind of funny.”
This is hilarious and exactly the approach I go for. What’s the use of lying? Now they think their lackluster performance is an acceptable norm and that anything less than that will get them by. You have no one to blame but yourself because you set this poor sap up for failure by faking it. Give them complete honesty because anything else is just self inflicted torture.
Eff me badly once shame on you. Eff me badly twice, shame on me.
Reply
I’m a simple girl, so I don’t need the “theatrics.” If the dude can’t get the basic stuff down, then it is not worth it. I usually stop messing around with the dude if he is wack in bed… he gets a max of two tries before I’m out.
If I’m with someone I have feelings for, I’m all for giving him pointers, and I also ask what I can do to make it better for him. Obviously, there is a nice way of putting those sort of things… and it can actually be a fun “teaching” session
.
Reply
“firecracker fellatio”
LMAO at this….like literally laughed out loud!
Reply
i try my hardest not to lie. if it’s bad then i’m going to let you know in the least harsh way possible. it may hurt your feelings now but hopefully it will cause you to come better next time (no pun intended). if my tongue game isn’t up to par or to your liking, you better let me know. i know every woman likes different things, so i wouldn’t want you to miss out just because you didn’t open your mouth. best believe i’m not going to miss out on mine because i’m afraid of saying something. in the long run i’m helping both of us.
Reply
I look at it like this: I’d rather have my pride/ego shattered with the truth rather than a lie. If I’m awful, let me know. Don’t fake it to spare my feelings. Cuz if i find out the chick was faking or whatever then I’ll really be hurt.
If a chick is bad at what she does then I generally just ask her not to do it anymore or just try to avoid it. But in the heat of the moment I’m not tryna hurt anybody’s feelings cuz you’re super vulnerable and if it’s not that big of a deal there’s no point in possibly doing irreparable damage.
Reply
A closed mouth don’t get fed.
Reply
Renee Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 2:10 pm
**Thumbs Up**
Reply
Seriously though, I think a lot of women are shy of the concept of reaching out for pointers on sex. All those friends and conversations women have with them, use a lifeline and phone a friend or something. There’s even videos #noexcuse; however, women who don’t instinctively inquire and try to improve upon their craft wouldn’t think to look at a video.
It all really boils down to whether or not the person is coach-able and open-minded.
This is something too. Just like good chex habits can be contagious, so can bad chex habits.
Reply
in the end no one can hide-either you with someone for so long the sex gets routine and then yea can get bad or you stay single and have to live the hit or miss that is random/casual sex when you’re single so the question is which one do you want to be in? the one in which as lovers with real lives-kids, running an household etc and you have to try to address that “hey baby sex has gotten a lil dull” or the single person that can just hit ignore on their cell phone when “that” person calls
Reply