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Things You Should Not Say to Black People
1. Gosh, you are so articulate!
This one has pissed me off more than once. I don’t think people ever use “articulate” to describe a white person. What the hell do you mean? Are we both not at an institution of higher education? I guess you are shocked because you think black people from the hood don’t know how to use words like “superfluous” or “antithesis” without mispronouncing them. Take that. Take that.
2. “You people are so…”
…Anything. Any word (nice, mean, pretty, tall, short, dope boy fresh) behind the phrase “you people” and tables are likely to start flying. Even if the word that follows “people” is a good one, or intended a compliment, the Black person on the other side of the conversation has already been fired up and ready to give you a beat-down firm talking to.
3. YOU don’t like watermelon?
No I don’t. And I don’t like grape soda either. I do effs with Kool-Aid though. I bet you want to say something about fried chicken now, don’t ya? Can you please step out of the stereotype box for just a second so I can slap you ‘cross the mouf?
4. Racism does not exist.
This will send some people through the roof. I have engaged in conversations before with White people who have tried to convince me that I was missing something, or that the disparities that exist in society are not the result of or continually reinforced by racism. Seriously “dude”, it’s like air to you. Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.
5. Your mother is…(read “Yo momma is so…”)
See #2.
6. Affirmative action isn’t necessary anymore.
Oh really? Why is that? Because Barack is President you say? At the root of comments like this is a lack of understanding about the purpose, and current function of affirmative action. Some people think it is meant just to boost the number of colored people you see around the office or classroom. While this has been the case before and may still be in some limited instances, affirmative action doesn’t equal unqualified. I had to tell this White boy off my freshman year when he cried about his daddy not getting a job as a fireman because they gave it to a “less qualified” black man. Imagine my angst.
7. I am a Black Republican.
There is nothing wrong with being one. Just be prepared for the judgment, jokes, screw faces, laughs, and barrage of questions that will promptly follow.
8. If he can do it, why can’t you all…
I put “he” because now instead of struggling Black people being compared to the “educated” one, we will all be judged by Barack’s path. This is classic “pull yourself up by your boot straps mentality”. Some of us don’t even have boots homie.
9. Can I touch your hair? How did you get it like that?
“Like, I thought it would feel like wool. But it’s…soft.” No you can’t touch my mane. Men, I don’t know if you get this question (except maybe you Seattle) but like really, do I ask Jen or Kaitlin how they keep their roots so blonde? I don’t want to have a discussion about what wrapping my hair consists of, or what the difference between your perm and mine is. Thanks.
10. Speaking in Ebonics
“Yo,” What up,” “Homie,” “home girl,”"brotha,” “my ninja,” “sistah,” “peace out,” “what’s good?” or any other endearing phrase that is not a part of your daily vocabulary. Just because you may hear me drop one of the aforementioned colloquialisms in conversation with my people in the break room or hallway, DOES NOT give you license to do so. Yeah, thanks for trying to be cool and find some common ground with me. But just do us both a favor, and stop. Thanks.
I had to stop the list here. What other questions, phrases, or words have non-black people said to you that just rubbed you the wrong way?
Sowhatiff – No You Didn’t Just Say What I Think You Said – Jenkins
112 Responses to “Things You Should Not Say to Black People”
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I love it! #4 is definitely relevant now that Obama is president. That’s the first thing CNN correspondents were saying. One really has nothing to do with the other…
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 2:06 am
Welcome to Three Ways Nyhoop!
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#9 had me cracking up! My roomate freshmen year of college used to always watch me when I would do my hair and had a zillion questions about my hair care products. “what is hair grease, why do you sleep with that cloth on your head, why do you attach a comb to your blow dryer, does it really take 3 hours at the hairsalon, can i try and braid your hair”. I was like i’m just tryna do my hair can you stop innundating me with your questions.
@ 3- i feel very uncomfotable when i’m with 2520s and watermelon is suddenly the topic of conversation or is offered, although I do like it…thats not the point. And don’t assume I want the chicken dish at your dinner party either
-and if one more person tells me we’re in a post racial america or AA isn’t needed b\c of Obama i’m going to scream.
Good list!
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
If I hear a 2520 even say the words, “watermelon” “monkey” or “Fried chicken” I get uncomfortable.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
same here.
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#10 – I can personally testify to this one. A former co-worker of mine used to call me “bro” all the time. I would walk into the office, “What’s up Bro?!” “What do you think about that bro?!” “Let’s knock this out, bro!” Finally, I told him that if he didn’t stop calling me, “bro” I was going to start calling him “brother man” back. The next day I walked in, he started calling me, “broseph!” Which I don’t mind as much because I think it’s hilarious.
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Here’s one I hate:
“You’re nothing like___”
Contrary to popular beliefs, all Black people are not alike. We are individual thinkers. We do not all like the same things. We do not all come from the same backgrounds, etc.
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kk Reply:
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:36 pm
people say that because they are usually inorant!
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A woman asked me “does your mother make sweet potato pie”. My fathers black and my mothers white. My mother has never made sweet potato pie.
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Reign Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 10:44 am
I’m guilty of assuming my nigerian guy friend knew how to make julof rice. Assumptions can make you feel very ignorant no matter the race you’re talking to.
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Anita Reply:
March 6th, 2009 at 2:16 am
I thought jollof rice was Ghanaian, which means he’d be mad about it for a whole other set of reasons…
About affirmative action, apparently no one knows the main benefactors have always been caucasian women, since women count as a minority for business purposes. I’ve never had it come up myself, but I would love to tell some jerk about how my job has affirmative action- for disabled war veterans. Then I can ask them why they hate America and make them feel extra salty
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The entire list is the TRUF.
I hate when they start talking in hoodspeak when I come around or roll their necks… that’s when I turn around and get really, really corporate to show that I don’t talk like that. LOL.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 11:17 am
lol. Hoodspeak.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Ha! I couldn’t think of what else to call the gestures and colloquialisms we sometimes use.
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RightCoastLexSteele, Solid As a Rock Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Nicki, I’m taxing you for use of the word I introduced to 3ways. Cut the check!
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Touching my hair! Ahhh no way! I hate that. I’m not in a zoo. Know what bugs me more though?
I’m natural but usually wear my hair straight. Anytime I go back to rocking it curly, you’d think I shook the freakin world. YT be like “Did you cut your hair?” or “How do you get your hair to do that?” or some other really annoying question.
Chill out.
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Katchin05 Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 10:59 am
My favorite reply (stole it from a book title) is “I am not your negro petting zoo!” They generally don’t not how to respond, so they stammer an apology & walk away.
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MaPockets Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
I actually took my individual braids out the other day. They were pretty long. So I go in for work the next day with a press, my hair is twisted up in a clipped bun.
Immediately, I get reactions.
“Wow…something’s different about you, MaPockets!”
“You look different! What is it?”
“Hmm…something’s off..”
“Did you do something to your hair? It looks really nice.”
I just kept telling people I got a nose job.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
The best is when someone gets a few tracks put in, and people can’t seem to make sense of what happened to them over the weekend that could cause their hair to grow so much.
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Cheekie Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
What’s silly about this is that all kinds of 2520s (and their mamas) are rockin’ weaves. Or what they call “extensions”. Same difference. I can’t even name too many 2520 female celebrities that haven’t done this one time or another.
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RightCoastLexSteele, Solid As a Rock Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Tracks? Ugh…
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You are on point with that list… I was in cosmetology in HS and another HS that was majority 2520 was in our program. Let’s just say that they loved playing in my hair. Asking all kinds of questions. And why do we as black people say oh she got that good hair to each other??
A few years ago when we were setting up a pot luck, another coworker from my intern days said, “this is going to be lovely pic-a-ninja!” Ninja was put in place of what she really said. I and a Latino intern went straight to the Director, lol. She didn’t even know she said something wrong. BS.
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myndseye Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Right. She knew. My mother’s co-worker had the audacity to call some brazil nuts, “nigger-toes” in her presence. She also went to HR, but all they get for that is a mild talking to & possibly “sensitivity training”.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
wait a minute. “Nigger-toes”? What the hell?
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I went natural freshman year of college & worst than the “Can touch/How’d you get it like that” stuff, were the bold mofos in my dorm who’d walk straight up & put their gotdang hands in my hair. OMG… I almost got kicked outta the building on that.
On the watermelon/chicken thing, I’ve def had a few akward convos over that. I don’t eat meat, so the next question after I say this is usually “…Not even chicken?” Black people say this too tho, lol.
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Back on the Scene, its PEYSO Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
I dont care what no one says, black ppl who dont eat chicken is weird to me…
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
I do loves me some wangs.
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Satya Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
I only eat white meat chicken. Does that warran a side eye look?
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Cheekie Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Chicken is heaven sent.
When my best friend from high school told me she didn’t eat chicken (and it wasn’t because she didn’t eat meat), best believe I gave her the side-eye for a sec.
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Royal Empress Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
what is so weird? So what about those under the Rastafarian order?
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RightCoastLexSteele, Solid As a Rock Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Dont mind these baldheads Empress.
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Just A Thought Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 9:45 pm
I hate the uninvited touching. Sometimes I go off, sometimes I calmly educate that I’m not an animal ina zoo. Sometimes I start touching their hair right back saying “oh, I didn’t know white hair was this limp and stringy. How do you get it like this?”
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Leogoddess Reply:
January 12th, 2011 at 2:17 pm
bwaaahaaaaaaaa lmao!!!!
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Speaking of the hair thing…my best friend and I went on a study abroad trip to Belize our junior year in undergrad…while we were there of course we partook in all the festivities…snorkeling included…
One of our fairer skinned classmates looked shocked when we emerged from the water…we asked her what was wrong and she responded “I heard that yall don’t get in water…won’t you be worried about getting bee bees?”
I was so mad on the inside, but couldn’t help but laugh…she said it so innocently…I guess when they use the so called slang language they heard 7+ years ago on tv they think they are bonding…NOT!
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-Do not “accidentally” call me by the name of the only other Black girl in the office…fatal “mistake”
-Do not ask me the lyrics to the latest hip-hop song nor of the latest news happenings in urban news. I don’t even know who Rick Ross is, and no, I don’t know any more about the Chris Brown/Rihanna case than you.
-***Do not leave the African-American publication of anything on my desk—especially if it’s addressed to someone else. The other day, I came back to find the “Black Meetings & Tourism” magazine on my desk. When I asked what it was, they replied, “oh, we thought you might want to read it.” No, in fact, I don’t.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
“The other day, I came back to find the “Black Meetings & Tourism” magazine on my desk. When I asked what it was, they replied, “oh, we thought you might want to read it.” No, in fact, I don’t.”
This is soo funny.. People can be complete retards.
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Barbie Reply:
July 12th, 2009 at 12:24 am
I know what you mean, in my office all the black magazines, they put on my desk and when I ask why is this here, they reply I thought you would want to read it. I said well no I do not. If I want to read it I will purchase my own.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Wow. Cultural insensitivity.
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
You know!!!!
Do not “accidentally” call me by the name of the only other Black girl in the office…fatal “mistake”
“sorry you both look the same from behind”
“so do y’all pancake”
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
LMAO!!
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Cheekie Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
*chokes on H2O*
Pancake?! B&TT is my new best friend.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
hahahaha! That’s definitely going in the archives!
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RightCoastLexSteele, Solid As a Rock Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Pancake, no syrup.
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Barbie Reply:
July 12th, 2009 at 12:28 am
That what they like to say you both look a like when my hair is brown and the other black women in my office has red hair, how can we look a like from behind.
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Just A Thought Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 9:48 pm
Because blackness trumps all. I got called the name of a black coworker who was cream colored with sandy hair (i’m a darker caramel with dark hair) for two months after she’d been hired, and I’d worked there over a year. They don’t even bother to see beyond the black.
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Leogoddess Reply:
January 12th, 2011 at 2:19 pm
OMG yall are killing me. I will NEVER go back to corporate.
Sincerely
Retired Black Ambassador
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JaneDoh! Reply:
March 9th, 2009 at 5:03 am
I’m glad I work the graveyard shift because I am laughing my butt off. I work at a very high end hotel and one night Ice Cube was checking in and I kid you not. Here comes my manager and a desk clerk running to the back office asking me to identify him. Why? Because some idiot up front told them, Hey ask her, I bet she would know. C’mon, who the heck doesn’t know who Ice Cube is??
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JR3 Reply:
March 10th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Now that is just sad…but it happens too much in the workplace. It’s kinda like when departments come to my office asking for funding for a speaker, not because he has anything to do with our mission or it would be of interest to the students we work with, but because the speaker himself is Black.
And then they get angry and upset when I deny them funding…shm
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Love the list, Sowhatiff. It is fact.
“6. Affirmative action isn’t necessary anymore.”
Yeah, 2520s can GTFOH with this mess. Did Dubya suddenly make all 2520s rich? No? There are still pasty po folks you say?
Oh, so THAT’s why you voted for Barack.Tell me again how a president can help an entire race of people?“8. If he can do it, why can’t you all…”
Yeah, this is messed up. ‘Tis a damn shame when we have to represent EVERYone when we do something. Do I look like a walking endorsement?
“9. Can I touch your hair? How did you get it like that?”
A subcategory of this is when you have long-term braids like micros and they ask you how you get to wash your hair everyday if you have them. And then it slides right into the ever-so-popular “why don’t you wash your everyday” convo.
I get a kick out of the holidays, though, when we Black folk compare our Thanksgiving Day meals with the 2520s. Stuffing? Naw, dressing, fool.
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MaPockets Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
LOOOOOOOOL! “who puts Ranch on their turkey?”
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Hi, I’m a Black Republican. Problem?
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Cheekie Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Do you like Larry Elder? If so…yes, problem.
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RightCoastLexSteele, Your Girlfriend's Guilty Pleasure Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Not particularly, but it should come as no surprise that Michael Steele is my boy.
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i am of mixed cultural descent, but i identify most with my black heritage. the question ”what are you?” pisses me off to no end. like i’m alien or something…what the hell…
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Seattle Washington Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Co-sign
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MaPockets Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
I’ve always wondered what’s the best way to ask that question? Oftentimes, I am simply intrigued by how beautiful some mixed people are…yet they’re “ethnically ambiguous” to me…normally, I’m just curious. Is there a better way to ask this question, or do most mixed people hate you whether you ask the right way or not lol
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myndseye Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
I find that a lot of people do get offended when you ask what they are or what they are mixed with. Both of my parents are black, however, many seem to think I have some Asian features. When I get asked what am I mixed with, I reply, “a man & a woman”.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
When I get asked what am I mixed with, I reply, “a man & a woman”.
LMAO! hahahaha!
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Barbie Reply:
July 12th, 2009 at 12:37 am
That is a great answer, my answer to this question is always other, now it’s up to them to figure out the other. and they better hope I like their answer!
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Tam Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
The most polite way imo is to ask “What is your ethnic background”.
What are you? What color are you? Those are both unacceptable and might get you cussed out.
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Good list!
The one I have the most problem with, is the Hair question. Please. Do not touch my hair, do not ask if it is a weave, do not ask if I got a new haircut, do not comment on how my hair grew overnight when I’m rockin the new piece on.
How may you comment?
You: “I like your hair!”
Me: “Thanks”
End of conversation.
If someone ever asks me, Is that your hair? I loose it. Do NOT question the authenticity of my Yaki. Thanks. lol
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Barbie Reply:
July 12th, 2009 at 12:46 am
I tell them no it’s yours do you want it back, And they can look so stupid, Don’t ask me that dumb junk, and do not put your hand in my head. I can’t see how white folks can be so stupid when it comes to hair. Now this is the one that makes me mad who does your hair, what the hell difference does it make, Are you going there to get yours done.
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jabulilesaysso Reply:
June 21st, 2010 at 12:47 pm
hahahahaha- ah hahahahaha! thank you Chok for your post especially “If someone ever asks me, Is that your hair? I loose it. Do NOT question the authenticity of my Yaki. Thanks. lol”
And Miss Jenkins, thank you for a great article! Now that I’ve moved to South Africa I’m faced with a whole new and special brand of confused White folk- very bold and aggressive with their stupidity- the major theme of discussion that comes up is “it was so much better during Apartheid!” then they go on to detail the how’s and whys that a White run dictatorship was so much fun for them.
If you’re not familiar with Apartheid this comment is tantamount to a White person saying to an African American- “it was so much better during Slavery! I wish I could go back to the times when y’all were my niggas!”
I guess because I’m of mixed heritage (lighter skin) and American they stupidly think I will agree with them, it’s confounding- and I thought I had been faced with all sorts of tomfoolery where White folks racial comments were concerned- I had the distinct privilege of growing up African American in the PNW- exposes you to all sorts of foolishness but these interactions can at times leave me (momentarily) speechless.
Pray for me.
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Oh man… #9. Every white person wants to ask questions about my dreads. Several white chicks ask to touch it (don’t mind that much) but it’s crazy. They all think I’m a rasta dude who does cult work. Then they find out I’m a preachers kid then they’re shocked. Then is turns into that “You’re nothing like….” which Shelia commented about above.
And #10. I was tweetin’ about this with Seattle like yesterday. I can’ stand when I go to lunch with my co-workers and we get in the car, they bumpin’ some John Mayer ish, but they feel the need to change it to the rap station immediately, as to somehow try and show they are cool, or diverse, or some shit. “Yo, this is my shit son!” gets thrown around. I just shake my head.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Next time you’re in the whip with those folks, turn off the radio and crank that Coldplay. Viva La Vida!
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MaPockets Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Cheekie Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Yay, Coldplay love! I fell completely in love with them since “The Scientist” (I liked “Yellow” a little bit), which I still crank in the iPod.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Uhm I woulda been angry had they changed from John Mayer to anything
except Jill Scott! Gravity, anyone?Reply
Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Love that track. That whole album is dope.
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I wish people would at least ask can they touch my hair first. Most touch without even respecting my personal boundaries. One lady went straight to my head instead of accepting my hand to shake it. Am I a puppy now? The majority of black women where I live have relaxed hair. I’m the only black person in a white office with natural hair. Whenever I do something new to my hair (twist it, braid it, fro it) they get all outdone and baffled. Then they want to ask 10 million questions about hair. I’m not a fan of getting asked hair questions on the job.
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LOL!!!!!
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My girl and I rolled to a college graduation party for a white friend of ours a few years back. They has this big BBQ. We had already eaten anticipating bad white people cooking, but so we get there and they had this huge pig on a spit and our friend’s mom goes “Oh, I know you girls want some pork!”
We both looked at each other, our friend looks at us and tries not to laugh cause he knows we’re pissed.
Neither of us eats pork.
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Satya Reply:
March 5th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
thats rude. my ex-boyfriend’s mom grilled me for about 30mins when i told her i didn’t eat swine. all black ppl don’t eat pork! and then she told me my family moved upnorth and got siditty. no we got health conscious and decided we didn’t heart disease etc… for some hamhocks
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This entire list is sooo true, especially the hair touching. I get extremely rude and mean when someone asks to touch my hair or has the audacity to just touch my hair.
I am not a damn dog, you cannot pet me!!
That stuff bothers me so much because in their dealings with black people a lot of white people (and other non black people as well), do not care to have boundaries. They see a Black person and don’t care to have manners. I was always told questions pertaining to a person’s appearance were personal and rude to ask, especially to someone you don’t know very well.
It also really pisses me off when some fool makes an attempt to discuss my hair with me who does not have any type of Black hair. I always find myself thinking, “Why do you care? It’s obviously NOT because you want to get the same hairstyle b/c you can’t.” It’s just another way to make a spectacle of Black people. So annoying!!
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Barbie Reply:
July 12th, 2009 at 12:55 am
I agree with you do not put your hands in my hair if you don’t want me to go crazy on you. Have you seen these white girls that wear the braids and it looks like they have just pulled the last piece of brain out of their heads. they look scary as hell to me!!!!
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If I’m around white people I talk about Jews. If I’m with Jews I talk about white people. Keeps the attention off of me.
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A resounding YESSSS and a hearty *slow clap* to this post
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I can see turning down pork chops (they do tend to get dry), but I don’t see how anyone in the world can resist bacon. The only thing better than bacon is more bacon.
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“If someone ever asks me, Is that your hair? I loose it.”
Heh.. How about if they ask if you have breast implants?
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” Affirmative action isn’t necessary anymore.”
Actually, it wasn’t *necessary* in the first place. Racial discrimination is wrong, no matter whose ox is being gored.
Incidentally, when Kennedy first coined the term, he ordered government agencies to “take affirmative action to ensure that race is NOT A FACTOR in hiring.” Since then, the words got twisted around to be a cover for exactly what he sought to prevent.
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The one that bugs the hell out of me is when this white girls wake up to you and say what’ s up ms thang. I stopped and asked one who the hell is ms thang, her reply I thought we were cool no the hell we ain’t
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look no problem with what anyone says or thinks on the above mentioned topics, but i do have a couple questions and would like to make some comments.
I am white dude who grew up in a black nieghborhood/school so i actually feel like i know much about the culture.
1. Not all black people are the same just like not all white families are the same or all baptists are the same. Each family passes down a bit of their family culture and what they have chosen as their personal knowledge to their children.
2. I have black friends, but only a few that i feel that i can totally honest an myself with. Probably due to the societal differences that we all feel.
3. i feel the biggest disparity among people is not race but class. elite–rich–upper middle—lower middle—poor–homeless
4. In America everyone has oppurtunity. Not saying racism does not exist, but one can indeed “pull ones self up by the bootstraps” in this country.
5. I don’t like being called cracker or
‘white boy’
6. i love chicken (esp. fried) and watermelon; in fact most of my white friends and family do too…. so eat your chicken and be happy.
7. I do like to speak a little “street” at times, sometimes jokingly, sometimes it slips out from over use in my school days. I also can speak in a pretty good mexican and cajun dialect which is great for telling jokes.
8. Most white people i know don’t hate blacks or any race of people. A black, well mixed, friend of mine says that blacks can’t be racist, which confused me. She said they could be prejudiced but not racist.
9. I think a lot of people will be suprised at what heaven will look like racially.
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Anonymous Reply:
March 5th, 2010 at 11:06 am
Wow i do not know why she said that, black people can and sre sometimes racist…and yes it is true you can pull yourself up by your boot straps but being black alone exempts you from bountiful opprurtunities. Being that you are white could you please do black people a favor and let your white friends know not to touch our hair and don’t classify us as you people??? LOL
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Just A Thought Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 10:12 pm
Oh dear, Questions, so much FAIL, so little time
1. You are still a cultural outsider, no matter your familiarity. I know a little about some Caribbean cultures because I’ve been around people from those communities, read the literature, did research. I still am an outsider, even if I know what a soucriant is.
2. If you can’t be totally yourself with some black friends, it could be because you aren’t that close with some of them, but also because the black people who didn’t grow up with you aren’t giving you a pass for racist or privileged bs that you say/do.
3. Class is a big difference, but don’t underestimate the effects of race just because you don’t have to deal with that particular issue.
4. It’s not that black people eat chicken. It’s white people who don’t know me assuming I eat chicken because I’m black. And your “eat your chicken and be happy” is over the line
5. Yes, people can take advantage of opportunities to better their lives, but let’s not pretend that everyone has equal access to all opportunities. You can want to go to college all you want, but if you go to underfunded public schools that don’t prepare you, good luck.
6. From what you’ve posted, I doubt your use of dialects or slang would be as humorous to people who naturally speak like that.
7. Heaven, in a strictly biblical sense, won’t be the same as on Earth. According to scripture, we won’t have physical bodies in the same way we have them now. This argument is a race-blind type of argument that is not really effective in tackling the present day discrimination that racial/ethnic minorities face.
8. Your friend probably uses the definition of racism = prejudice + power. Since minorities don’t have institutionalized power, they cannot be racist, only prejudiced. You can read up on theorists to get a deeper understanding of this
9. You don’t deserve to be called whiteboy. Part of me wonders if you get called that when you go into black spaces, or seek out black people, and pull that “see I can use slang, I know your music, I like chicken!” routine and they use it as a pejorative to check you.
10. Racist does not mean only carrying a malevolent, cross burning, Klan membership having hatred of black people. People who are otherwise nice and objective can still be racist and have racist views. In my experience, a lot of white people have racialized/racist views of black people. They primarily define black people by their Blackness (hence the using slang only with black people, assuming all black people listen to “black” music, asking black people to explain the behavior of random unknown black strangers).
Anywho, Questions, I think if you are truly committed to growing as a conscious person, diversity, and ending prejudice, there are many resources, especially online, to get you to interrogate your privilege and be more understanding of people who don’t look like you.
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Anonymous Reply:
October 4th, 2010 at 9:42 pm
PREACH
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Leogoddess Reply:
January 12th, 2011 at 2:32 pm
Applause applause!!!
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Leogoddess Reply:
January 12th, 2011 at 2:38 pm
I ?this post!!
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I am a 2520, apparently. Which, I believe, is just as offensive as anything.
I cut my hair often and I cut it myself. Every time I do, people attack me with questions. It’s annoying, but I humour them because I don’t think it’s inappropriate to reciprocate rudeness. Whenever my head is shaved, I have to deal with people trying to touch my head. The reason? Because their heads are not shaved, they don’t know what it’s like, and therefore they are curious as to what it feels like. We are curious beings. If I ask a girl or guy what he/she’s done to his/her hair, whatever their race, I am interested because I couldn’t possibly know. All I see is that their hair is beautiful and it fascinates me. I do this a lot with Indian, Native, and Asian girls especially. I ask every White kid I know with dreadlocks everything about them. I ask my Indian friends for advice on using henna in my hair. I ask the girl with pink hair how much she lightened it first. I ask the Asian guy with the manga hair which product he uses. Everyone asks about things that are different to them, and if they’re asking, chances are good that it’s something they admire too. It doesn’t mean you should put up with something that makes you uncomfortable, but there’s also a good chance people don’t know you’re uncomfortable. No one really has manners anymore. Now, you might say, they don’t care whether or not they are making me uncomfortable! Try saying, ‘Please, thanks for asking about my hair, but I feel that it’s a personal topic that I would rather not discuss.’ Touching a person’s hair without asking is a huge violation, however, and I’m all for telling people to back off. Ugh, people touching me.
My grandmother makes sweet potato pie and she’s a prairie gal. I read ‘bad white people cooking’ in an earlier reply. How can you say that so casually, but still take offense to what White people, or any other people, say so casually? This shit is everywhere. No one is, or will ever be, safe from these seemingly insignificant comments. Generalization is something that brains do automatically. People SHOULD be judged individually, but generalization is simply more efficient. Anyone might think to themselves: ‘That person did this, just because I’m Black, just because I’m a teenager, just because I look like White trash, just because I wear a turban, just because my lip is pierced, etc.’ Well, they probably did do that for just that reason! It sucks, yes, but that’s the way people think. Don’t give anyone a reason to make new stereotypes by reacting to this. People are often surprised that I’m a geologist based on the way I look and dress, to which I think, ‘That bastard doesn’t think kids like me are capable of getting a degree. What an ignorant, arrogant, backwards jerk.’ What I say, however, is, ‘Yes, that’s what I do, and I enjoy it very much,’ and he won’t make the mistake of assuming again.
If I reacted like the punk I look like it would have perpetuated the belief that a rough looking kid is incapable of professionalism and propriety.
I really and honestly do love Black hair and what you can do with it. It’s beautiful. Keep that in mind next time someone asks about your hair, because they might be thinking just that.
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Just A Thought Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 10:29 pm
I hope I can respond without it being taken the wrong way. People are naturally curious. However, some stuff comes out of a history of some bodies being marginalized, being used only for the benefit of other bodies. Of some groups being routinely stereotyped and generalized by people who do not belong to that group, especially when the generalization are all negative. This doesn’t excuse people using 2520 or saying bad white people cooking. Those things, however, do not have the same historical context as a lot of generalizations that white society perpetuates about black people. Whereas your telling off people who make erroneous assumptions about you, people who hold negative views about black people wouldn’t change their thinking. Just tend to think that that particular black person is an exception.
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Here’s #11: Why are black people so concerned with being black?
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
May 3rd, 2010 at 1:20 am
For the same reasons White people are so concerned with Black people being Black.
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Mike Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 2:54 pm
Did you mean to say black people are concerned about being disproportionately represented right at the top of the list in Rape, Murder, armed robberies etc? Good then I hope you evolve and do something about it.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 8:19 pm
Dude, do you even know Black people? lol.
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I’d like to add one more:
When you’re at a dinner party and of course you are the only black person at the dinner party and someone invariably asks “So how do you know so and so?”
This irritates me to no end. The implication is “I’ve never seen you before, didn’t know Mr. So and So had any black friends and how the hell did you get in here.”
My retort is usually the same question back at ‘em.
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I’d just like to add any variation of “are you mixed/you can’t be all black” etc. etc. This goes for black people and other minorities saying it. Just cuz lighter skinned Black-black people with curly hair don’t exist in your world doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist in my mine.
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Let’s go ahead and add to that list “You are so pretty for a Black girl”. I’m sorry is Black not supposed to be pretty?
Head tilt and a slow blink….
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Another… Hey, do you know/have you met _______ (the only other minority in the office/neighborhood/vicinity).
Ummm, no. (but I KNEW you were going to ask me that)
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You need new friends. Your triggers should be far more significant than what you eat.
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They shoulda never gave racists anonymity.lol. I’ll pray for your soul, cuz it’s hot where you’re going. I think you meant to post this comment on youtube though.
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Well, the item I agree with most on the list is #4 and one of the best examples of racism and ignorance is this list itself. These sort of “rules” of what people can ask or how they can act to someone of another race are absurd and old fashioned.
If I’m asking about your hair its because I like it and want to know more about it. This type of dialouge is exactly what eliminates misunderstanding between peoples.
And black can speak in ebonics, but no, no, no silly white person, you may not. If this isn’t racist I don’t know what is…
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
November 8th, 2010 at 9:22 pm
Welcome to Three Ways!
The list is largely written in a tongue-in-cheek manner. It’s only absurd if you’ve never been offended by an ignorant comment directed at you simply because of your race. I agree that saying what people can and can’t say adds to the misunderstandings between black people and white people. But it’s all about the context in which you ask about the texture of my hair, not the question itself. And these “rules” are not rules at all; they are reflections of experiences I’ve had.
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I am cameroonian and i live well in cameroon. This being said even here i got asked questions about my hair ( which is very thick and dark). Am like seriously here? back home? Pls pple never ever ask me if i wear a weave because for the last time i dont
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You are such a stupid nigger. This entire post ironically makes you everything you hate admitting you are
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affirmative action has been over…if an employer wants to only hire white people he can…
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While I get what a lot of people are saying here, other sides, as is often the case, do exist. For one, hiring a person based on the color of their skin is rediculous. This does not balance anything or create equality, and if this is your idea of affirmative action, than what you really want is power, not power for humanity, but power for people of your supposed “race”. Ignorance is ignorance, and all too often blacks are just as ignorant.
Stereotypes also exist for a reason. I lived in the South, went to a black High School, and I can guarantee you that any time you find a black neighborhood, you find a chicken resataurant. You want to complain about stereotypes? Bitch to the people who are creating these stereotypes.
While I agree that many white folks on these issues are completely ignorant, those with black flesh need to start looking at their actions as well and start asking themselves what it is that they really want. And if it is black power, not equality, well you are just making the problem worse.
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shits weak. you suck. balls.
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I am a 2520 (had to look that up), or a YT,
and I do agree on the don’t touch me thing, and the you people thing. Assuming thay you like chicken or watermelon, and most on the list. No one wants people who they don’t know invading their personal space, or assuming that you are a certain way.
However, nobody “owns” Ebonics…. If I want to say “yo” or “What up” I’ll say it, and do frequently. I am also guilty of saying “You know what I mean” alot after sentences.
Also, Bro’s call Bro’s, Bro’s all the time. That is NOT a black thing, it’s more of a term of endearment. A “Bro” is someone who, may not be your biological brother, but is your brother none the less, because you are “tight” like that. (Do people still say “tight”? I do.)
I would hope that you understand that not all people are as thoughtful as they should be, but sometimes, an “ignorant” comment really has no racist intentions behnd it. Not all 2520′s are perfect, and some are downright stupid, or insensitive. But that doesn’t make them all racists.
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I would like to comment on something that you are offended about. You mention that you hate when people say that you are articulate. You also question if white people are described in this fashion also.
First of all, you really should not get upset when another individual tells you that you are articulate. As a writer, this is one of the highest compliments one can give. Unfortunately, many people-black or white-are not able to convey his/her thoughts as clearly and decisively as you are. Your writing displays exemplary craftsmanship and higher level thinking. I am quite certain that this is the reason that others tell you that you are articulate.
Secondly, to answer your question as to whether or not white people are described this way. Yes, white people are described in this way if they exhibit the same level of higher thinking and writing abilities as you possess. Unfortunately, all too often, people cannot write and convey their thoughts in the way you do.
Don’t be so quick to assume when someone tells you that you are articulate that they are surprised about it because you are not white. Yes, they may be very surprised, but not because of your color, but because most people in general are not-even at institutions of higher education.
Another thing that I would like to comment on is the fact that you get offended when white people use your “colloquialisms”. I am grateful that you mentioned that fact, as I have been guilty of it myself. However, it bothered me that this offended you. White people are not using “your” slang to try to be cool. It is our way of trying to say: “I am not racist and would like to break the barriers that lie between us and be friends with you”.
If I am going to a country that does not speak English, the easiest way for me to communicate with that country’s indigenous people is to learn that language. If I can’t speak and understand the language of that country, I can never truly appreciate being there.
The same stands for white people using the same slang that you are. It is not because we are trying to take something away from you, trying to degrade you in any way, or trying to be cool. It is simple because we want to be friends with you.
If you think about the people that are your close friends, ask yourself the question:”why are they my best friends?” If you answer yourself honestly, it is because they share many similarities with you. They share the same interests, hobbies, values, and thoughts that you do. The more commonalities you have, the closer the friendship. The more they display their loyalty to you, the closer they are to you.
When white people mimmic black people in thoughts or actions, if we embrace the traditions, dialect, and customs of African Americans, it is not because we are making fun of black people. It is because we desire a closer relationship with you and this is the only way we know how to show you our earnest interests.
With that being said, it is my sincere desire that instead of letting your anger build when white people offend, be bold and let us know that we have offended you. How can I ever correct my actions if I am unaware that they are offensive to you? If white people are making an effort to be more like you, it is not those individual’s you have to be offended at. It is, however, those white people that shy away from you that you should be directing your anger towards. Better yet, why waste your time being angry at such an ignorant group of people?
As far as your other comments, I could not agree with you more. Many people just do not think before they do things. My friend, I hope that one day we can overcome racism altogether. It will not happen unless we work together to end it. Please understand that every comment made to you by a white individual is not aimed at degrading you or your race. You truly are very articulate. I would say that to you no matter what your race. Be proud when someone says that to you.
I realize that white people can never truly empathize with the wrong that our ancestors have provoked on the African race. The heinous crimes that were committed by the govt, the KKK, the Knights of the White Camellia, the White Brotherhood, the Whitecaps, and many others can never be rescinded. The things that my ancestors did to the African race builds rage, even in my own heart. I can only imagine how it must truly feel to an African American whose ancestors have lived through such a malicious time in American history. My only hope is that one day, the African American race can find forgiveness in their hearts for the white people of today’s society, as many of us do not share the same ideals of our ancestors.
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Yes racism is indeed in your head! Reality is just ones perception. Everyone has hate against them, from the opposing sports teams to business rivals, to different countries. The reason black people get so offended is because of their confidence.
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Ok, first of all, I’m with you in terms of yes, we still need Affirmative Action and yes, some white folks are asking to get dropped but if I want to say, “What Up Yo” or “What’s happing bro”, I will. I do not need anyone’s permission to tell me what to say or what not to say just because you feel as if they’re trying to be cool with you. Seriously, you need to quit crying and if someone deliberatly disrespects you, knock’em out and move on!!!
Signed by a Latina
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One quick question- what gives you the right to tell me, a white person, what I can and can’t say? My big brother said peace out all the time, back in the nineties, and he didn’t hang with black people. The color of your skin doesn’t mean you can only use certain phrases. That’s like me saying black people shouldn’t say ‘sir’ or ‘have a good day’. Ridiculous. You are strengthening the divide between the races that everyone else is trying to erase.
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