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When Black Folk Cross the Line
Whenever I think of being offended by racial remarks, I always imagine that the offensive jokes or language would come from a non-Black person. It wasn’t until recently did it dawn on me that, yes, Black people can say some racially offensive stuff too…about other Black people.
We have all participated in conversations about being too light to have worked the fields, or too dark to have even thought about approaching massa’s house. We all get a few good, but slightly painful laughs out of it, and move on. But have you ever come across a Black person who constantly says words like “coon”, “jigga boo,” or regularly makes references to slavery…for no real reason? Of course, comments about light skin and “good hair” always come up as well. We’ll be talking about the weather let’s say, and they’ll be like “Now, thats just coonery.” Really though? Maybe its just me who’s been exposed to this type of person.
If these types of comments came from a White person, you best believe I would have already said something. No questions asked. But for some reason, I have not been able to call this person out yet. Whenever I hear the words, I cringe a little. And I am slightly ashamed that I don’t know how to address the issue. Part of me feels like, well he’s Black, so he should be able to say that stuff right?
Wrong.
Or at least I think so, and here’s why: Because it unnecessary. After a few times of you making sharecropping jokes that are already riddled with painful memories, the joke gets lost like a fat kid in a candy shop. At a certain point, it becomes uncomfortable. For me at least.
And, he was not born here.
Before yall start breaking on me, I have immigrant family too, so I’m not saying anything about immigrants in general. Just this one person. Yeah, he’s is black. But for some reason in my mind, he has even less license than my American-born-my-great grandmother’s-grandmother-was-a-slave behind has. And even then, the jokes need to be kept to a minimum, or not said at all.
Now don’t get me wrong. I make my jokes about Black folks and some of our funny ways. But I don’t walk around doing so in a way that (to me) mocks some of the most offensive and painful parts of our past.
So I’m curious as what you all think about this. How would you call someone like this out? Have you ever been uncomfortable for calling out a Black person for saying something negative about Black people? What determines what is racially offensive? Can we be offensive to each other about parts of our racial history? Do you think some folks are more entitled to make these kinds of jokes than others (i.e. Northern Black folk v. Southern Black folk; Americans v. Immigrants). Speak on it.
Sowhatiff - I may just have to punch you in the face if you say something like that again – Jenkins
26 Responses to “When Black Folk Cross the Line”
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I had to do it recently actually. An associate of mine contantly cracks jokes about field negroes and house negroes and it’s not necessary. At first it was cool a few laughs here and there but the other day she turned it to “you used to be in the house with me but you a bit too dark to be inside now”. PAUSE. I told her inside or outside you’re still a slave and inside meant closer proximity so massa could have his way with you.
Yes Tiff black fold can get out of line with the “coon jokes” and sometimes you have to remind them to bring it down. And in the case of your friend remind them that in this country it doesn’t matter where you emigrated from if you look like you’re black, then that’s what you are. And whatever that persons idea of black is, is what you are. I don’t think one group is entitled to crack jokes more b\c those that dislike blacks don’t distinguish. I’ve never heard a racist person say ” I can’t stand them southern blacks” or ” I can’t them west indians” they just say “I can’t n**gers” or “black people”. If a white person says^ then all black ppl get offended not just one kind
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Very recently, I was talking to this guy who always made light skin/ dark skin jokes. I am light, he is dark. I let the first few slide, but eventually I had to say something bc it got on my nerves and he almost got cut because of it.
Although I felt like after I asked him to stop, our conversations were never the same.lol. I guess we eliminated eachother.
I don’t think anyone should be entitled to make those jokes bc someone is always going to be made to feel uncomfortable.
The good hair/ bad hair thing is another one that gets to me.
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I had a similar experience to Nikki – once I told a friend of mine that I didn’t need to hear any color jokes or discuss the horrible plight of the brown-skinned woman (imagine my sarcasm on that one, it’s thick), she really didn’t have anything else to say to me. Like, we only spoke occassionally after that, and she faded away. Which let me know that I had a toxic person in my life, cleverly disguised as “realistic” and “telling it like it is”. That’s bullsh**.
If you mention your feelings to your friend, in whatever way you choose (funny, serious, hurt, etc.) he may come to his senses. Sometimes we crack jokes and don’t realize how they really sound. He may feel awkward or become even more stubborn, confirming for you that he is truly an idiot and not worth calling a friend. At least, I hope he’s a friend. Is he a co-worker??
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I say tactless and insensitive things on a pretty regular basis. But I steer clear of the light/dark skin thing. That’s just dumb and to be honest, it’s not something we’ve gotten over, really. I feel like people who make those jokes incessantly do so because they feel insecure about something and that’s their problem. As such, I don’t want to hear about it all the time and I have pointed out the obnoxiousness to people before. I’ve found that a lot of people think others find it as “funny” as they do and are a bit surprised when you don’t.
Meanwhile, I’ve never had pointing it out cause me to lose a friend. I think Anna Nimous is right about that showing you you have a toxic person in your life “cleverly disguised.” If your friend can’t take that his joke is obnoxious and offensive, then again, that’s his problem.
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Its our duty to check ourselves for comments like that.I think the jokes are cool in moderation, but not OD. Thats when it gets unbearable.
What gets me is when get upset when other races make race jokes/comments, but say nothing when we do the same. If we dish it we should be able to take it, pause. lol
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First off, lemme say that the whole immigrant thing or that person being an immigrant should not bother you. The “Black experience” was not, and has never been exclusive to America in terms of slavery, oppression and such. Personally, I think it’s a mistake that is often made by African Americans and it may very well be a byproduct of American exclusivity as packaged by a national American-ist ideology – you know, that whole we’re the best thing.
In my book, nobody gets a pass when it comes down to it. Jokes are not always funny nor meant to be. That said, a Black person isn’t exempt from gettin the side eye from me just because. Now, I’m a lot older and wiser so I’m a lil bit more understanding of people. And as for Black people who speak the way you described? I’ll just say that much of it has to do with the pathology associated with Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome. Being of that understanding, I deal with people like that differently.
The trick is to understand before passing judgment.
On one of my most recent blog posts I had a guy comment and call me a coon. This guy also let it be known that he was Black and a member of the organization known as the “Sons of the Confederacy”. I actually laughed when I read his response to me because it felt good to actually have a Black White Supremacist comment on my blog.
Sometimes some people are offended by the truth and their reactions are motivated by internalized oppression. But hey, if its the truth I say just say ouch and keep steppin.
Kinda like I did in this post:
Southern Negroes: They shoulda never gave you n*ggas money
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
May 4th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Black White Supremacist?
Good bye Monday morning productivity I gotta read this!!!!
White power?
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I don’t think blacks have free reign to tell ignorant jokes, but they definitely get more leeway. Also, I thin for some people the light/dark skin, good/bad hair “jokes” are actually just a way of life for some people. However if you have anyone in your life, who does something that makes you uncomfortable, and they are really a friend, you should be able to address the issue with them, without fear. If you can’t then yall aren’t really friends. But just remember that the person making the “offensive” comments may not find them offensive at all. So you cant be upset if they don’t get your perspective. All you can do is tell)u them, I am offended by the things you say (you don’t have to explain why) and ask them not to say those things around you. If they don’t respect your friendship enough to stop those comments around you then their loss. ?
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Yeah, I’m with streetz in that racial jokes are good in moderation, but no OD-ing. And that goes for everything in general, too.
As for the whole light-skin/dark skin thang, this post reminds me of the most recent fights with Brooke/Terrica and Olivia on Candy Girls (shut up, I know…lol). They constantly clown her on her upbringing and her light skin. Now, I can enjoy a “bougie” joke as much as the next ninja, but I truly think Brooke and Terrica were crossing the line into hateful territory. I mean they were constantly going at her to the point where I could understand Olivia wanting to move out. I mean, it’s one thing to be able to take a joke, but it’s another when you can’t even be yourself because folks can’t be effing creative and direct their jokes to someone or something else for once. I like Brooke (not too fond of Terrica and her perma mean-mug), but there were really chartering Mean Girl waters.
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I find the older I get, the more I run into ig’nant mofos who despite the higher education, degree and they own experiences with racism still find the need to rip on they own ppl….I have gotten into heated arguments about my skin tone, bi-racial/cultural identity, history of caribbean/slavery mainly with people who look like me that become one-sided anyways.You can call them out but chances are they so empty and void intellectually that you just wasting breath and precious energy. We are all guilty of making some ig’nant jokes, but I think that laughing and brushing it off encourages it. I just get reallll quiet, because in real life you can’t just boo the person off stage like @ the Apollo. Just my thoughts.
Superb post…I think we need to wake up really!
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Some jokes are funny, but some people go overboard. As for making fun of someone’s skin tone, it’s not funny and it usually ends with someone feeling bad. Skin tone is such a sensitive area with so many black people that I don’t understand why anyone would want to go there with a “joke” anyway.
My family is from Liberia and when I was in college I was vice president of the African Stud Org. Some of the other Africans thought it was okay to make fun of Liberians b/c of our history. Making fun of our flag, our names, and the way we look. Saying things like “You guys are the only Africans that don’t have ‘black’ colors in your flag, fake a@# Africans” and then laughed. Someone even made a slave joke one time, which made me go off. One girl went as far as to say almost every Liberian she knows is light skinned, and that we are “ the bootlegged Africans,” and “fake blacks.”
I was offended, but didn’t speak up (except for the slave comment) for exactly the reasons you stated. And It’s not just other Africans who have done this, I’ve gotten the “fake African” comments from black people from the Caribbean and America. A lot of people do that mess and it’s just not cool, but I definitely say set your friend straight on that mess b/c he probably isn’t aware of how offensive it is.
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how about my cousin is afraid of being around all hispanics because of the Swine Flu…
Thats just ignorant as heck…
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Britt Reply:
May 4th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
OMG yes!!! My mom was repeating some poison she heard on the radio. I really hate how people are using this as an excuse to pinpoint and spread hatred. That is never ok.
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My policy is don’t let it slide. If it bothers you, say something about it. Not saying anything means, to me, you’re more concerned about the other person’s feelings than your own. Oftentimes we second-guess ourselves, “Am I overreacting?” Probably not.
Contrary to when White people say offensive things, Black people really DO expect to get belly-laughs, head nods, and dap when they make “observations” about other Black people. Though we may be more qualified to make certain observations, we cannot ignore the deep-seated social/cultural insecurities/experiences that lead us to notice the things we do about other Black folks.
I mean we do some funny things and we DO have some funny ways about ourselves… In fact, I was watching Sommore this weekend and she had this to say about stopping the use of the n-word: “If I don’t use the n-word, how am I gonna describe some n*gga shit?” lol
I mean, I think we can all be good humored about ourselves and our cultural idiosyncracies, traditions, and customs IN MODERATION. Some of us have a higher threshold than others for Black on Black ugliness. If it bothers you, though, YOU need to speak up.
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tiff, i def u should let that dude know that he is offending you. otherwise, his little jokes will build up, and you will go OFF on his ass… that can’t possibly be a good look. he prob doesn’t realize that he’s offending you, so thats why u should let him know.
i’ve also come across offensive things from other black people. usually i try to find a nice way of letting them know it’s not cool. for example, when one of my friends kept saying that the only reason why dudes holla’d at me was because i was light skin, i just responded with, “yeah, that or because i don’t walk around looking like i’m upset with the world.” she didnt make comments like that anymore. or, when my friends say the n-word, they usually try not to say it as often around me because i made it clear that i dont like the word, and don’t use it.
so Tiff, i def think u can address it in a way that doesn’t come off confrontational… it would be more like an FYI =).
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ignorant jokes are funny…racist ones aren’t
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if someone is saying something offensive, I think you should let them know right away that it is as soon as they say it.
Forget lookin like a herb or sour pout, no one should have to listen to anything they deem offensive..
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I’m Haitian and Dominican and I’ve heard all of the jokes out the book. What kills me is when a lot of the black kids I went to school with would say to other kids, “You don’t match, you lookin’ like a Haitian.” To me it’s stupid.
And now I’m in college and the number one thing I can’t stand is when blackpeople look down on other black people. “She from the hood, good thing I live in the suburbs” or “Nah, he African, he’s not American”. Seriously?
My college is predominately white. Lets be real when a white person sees a group of black people, be it African, Haitian, light skin, fat, Afro puff wearin’, curly hair, whatever — they still see a black person. So all these things some of our people use to make them feel like they are the prototype or superior ones in our race (like “I got good hair”) is stupid. Because the rest of the world sees you the same way they see us — BLACK.
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streetz Reply:
May 4th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
As a haitian, I cosign this post 100%! LOL Haitian kids would always get tight… but u know our people have problems with color schemes!
Respect to the Haitian /DR mix too!
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
May 4th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
LOL. All immigrants have issues with color schemes. I have seen some of my peoples looking a lil suss when it comes to the colors. I dunno why kids always called out Haitian folk. True off the boat folk from anywhere had the same matching issue.
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New Girl On The Block Reply:
May 4th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
LOL @ Streetz. Sak Pasé!
I’m not even gonna front on the color schemes! LOL. My people straight off the plane…its real talk. But why people gotta single US out I mean c’mon, we could say the same about every islander/african/immigrant person.
You know what? Shouts to all my islanders/africans/immigrants or what have you…that know someone or related to someone with the bad color schemes! (You know you like Grandma with the flower pattern Moo Moo, straw hat, flip flops, and the black purse.) Embrace it. I see you! lol.
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I agree New Girl
I had a dude turn his ugly skinny nose up at me cause I said I live an area that is typically known as the hood. HOw ignorant
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This is me not commenting on the post itself, but merely hiding from my studies.
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New Girl On The Block Reply:
May 4th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
Good luck w/ those finals girl! I’m goin through it right now. This is just me escaping my from my studies…::sigh:: now its time to go back. =[
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I have been moved to write….
First off I want to say that I don’t think racial jokes should be taken lightly, but I am a fan of comedy. Now, I am not saying that those jokes should be thrown around free and easy but where do we draw the line. In your blog you said– “the joke gets lost like a fat kid in a candy shop.” You can’t get upset at one joke that mocks your past, and then make a joke that mocks someone else. If you are truly sincere in making this a politically correct world, than empathy not sympathy must drive your quest.
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I’m a Jamaican woman living in NY. I came to this country as a child and I’ve been living in Brooklyn since, so I don’t have an accent. I’ve only recently started opening up to people about my heritage (I guess comfort comes with age). When I was younger, as soon as I told someone I came from Jamaica I was immediatly called a Coconut. It hurts. It still hurts to this day.
As God as my witness, I don’t make those racial jokes and I hardly find them funny. I immediatly tense up when I hear them, worse if a non-black person is in earshot. Honestly it needs to stop. Bad enough we have non-blacks perpetuating a false, exaggerated image of us in the media, we shouldn’t be next to them schuking, jiving and ke-ke-ing at every silly-ass punch-line.
I could go on and on, but I’ll just say this: no offense to anyone, but consider your own self-image the next time you hear one of those damn jokes and then you’ll know for sure if it’s really worth the laugh track.
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