Visit Our Store!
Top 8 Ways to Gracefully Bow Out
"You, you, you... You're gonna love me!!!"
SEATTLE: Last week, our homegirl T-Money sent us a question regarding her potential boo piece. She was a little confused because he said something to the effect of “you’re the one for me, but not right now.” Which could be true. I don’t like to hate on the next man, so I’ll refrain from detailed commentary. But since she is a friend and a dedicated reader I will say that it’s pretty obvious that he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship (right now). As a dude, I read that defense like I was Lebron James.
How? Well, as a dude who’s been told he’s an asshole with nice guy tendencies (I think it’s the reverse), I’ve had my moments where I’ve had to let a woman down easy. All for various reasons. Mainly because she either didn’t deserve harsh words or I just don’t want to have anything happen to my whip. Looks like the dude that Tramayne is dealing with is doing the same. He’s far from alone though, my assholish nice friends have done the same thing. Slim, You know what I’m talking about. You’re one of those assholes nice guys.
SLIM: That I am Seattle. That I am. However, I think I’m more of a nice guy with asshole tendencies. I don’t have the huge and extroverted personality, so I often get misinterpreted along the way. That causes confusion, bad questions, and thus the unleashing of asshole Slim. That’s not the purpose of today’s post though. Carry on good sir.
SEATTLE: With our collective experience, we figured we’d let T-Dot here and other female readers know when a dude is trying to let them know they don’t want to be tied down right now. I know women sometimes can’t see the forest through the complicated, handsome, sometimes loving dude with a good D game:
1.) “I love you so much, I just don’t want to hurt you baby.”
Nothing says “I love you” more than letting your boo know that you’d rather not be with them than risk causing them pain as a result of your actions inside and outside of the relationship. It’s simply the right thing to do.
2.) “I’m just really trying to concentrate on myself right now.”
Believe it or not, women are a huge distraction. Yeah I know, shocking. Sometimes it’s easier to just let them know that you’d rather focus on your career/hustle/stroke game and you can’t do that with them in the picture. Better that than the calls about how you don’t spend time with them no mo’.
3.) “You seem so busy, I don’t want to hold you back.”
On the flipside, there are some times when the woman is doing her own thing. Not like that, in a financial aspect. Like working her way up the corporate ladder. Or even strip pole. Whichever. Either way, she’s about her money and not really about the dude. So he wants to pull out for good.
4.) “There’s a lot of good shows premiering this season & I really don’t want to miss them. The season ending of Entourage is about to come up and Fringe is coming back y’know.”
Honesty is the best policy. If you know you won’t be able to show you’re boo the attention she deserves for 3-4 months, bow out. I mean, football season can be a lot. Sunday and Monday nights are pretty much taken. Couple that with the return of some good shows and you’ve got a problem. With that said, Fringe season premiere tonight at 9. So…
5.) “I don’t want you to wait for me while I chase my dreams.”
Again, an honorable and considerate thing to do. You know that you have dreams or aspirations to pursue that will put an immense amount of strain on the relationship. Along the way, you may do some thangs with some people. You don’t want your boo to be the victim of those thangs, nor do you want her to waste her good years waiting for you.
6.) “You’re the type of woman I’d like to call my wife one day…but not today.”
This is exactly what we’re referring to earlier. There’s no sense in “corrupting” a good woman by being in a relationship with her when you know you won’t be able to marry her anytime soon. Let her run free while you run through some thangs then see if you can re-evaluate in a few years. She may not be available, but you did the selfish right thing.
7.) “I’m not ready to be what you want me to be babe. I’m just not ready.”
Some people have expectations. Some people just go with the flow. When you know the other person has higher expectations than you expected, just bow out with this truly touching line. There has to be someone out there who’s expectations you already exceed. Find them. Date them. Marry them.
8.) “…I just don’t want to be with you!” ::play N.E.R.D.’s “Yeah You”::
When you’ve gone through the list, you’ve tried to be nice and they’re still not getting the hint, well there’s no easy way to say what you’re really thinking anymore. They don’t understand and probably won’t any other way. Better just to club the baby seal.
That’s just a sampling of what’s in our “Breakup Handbook”. Is there anything else you’d like to add?
Seattle – OK, Maybe I Am An Asshole – Washington
Slim - I Will Hurt Your Feelings - Jackson
95 Responses to “Top 8 Ways to Gracefully Bow Out”
Comments
Read below or add a comment...
Leave A Comment...
RSS & Twitter
-
these all sound like nice excuses for bowing out gracefully but in reality they all sound like lies. women aren’t stupid. they can see through shit like this. i’d rather be an asshole and be sincere. i think a woman can respect that more in the long run. i got an email of the realest breakup lines last week. here are a couple that i could see myself saying:
“You’re a 7.5 on a scale of 1-10. You’re smart. You’re ambitious. You have a good job, and a lot of good things going for yourself. The chex is even good, ya know? But I think I can get at least an 8.”
“I just feel like I can do better.”
“You got lucky. You caught me at a time when I was willing to settle.”
does this make me an asshole?
Reply
Renee Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 1:42 am
“You got lucky. You caught me at a time when I was willing to settle.”
Thats Effed up, I can’t even believe a “man” would say that to a woman. I’ve thought some wrong stuff, but why kill another persons self esteem. I think most people already know when there dating out of there league. I have overheard a few male conversations where they discussing settling for different reasons, just never knew how it ends…
Reply
OneChele Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 2:09 am
Tunde, breaking out a scoring system during a break-up is not a good look.
Reply
Tunde Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 9:47 am
i wouldn’t say these exact words verbatim. of course i wouldn’t call her a 7.5 or whatever number she was but if i feel like i can do better than her why tell her otherwise. she deserves the truth and thats what i’m gonna give her.
Reply
Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 7:36 am
I’m gonna say none of them is gonna work… but I do agree with you that excuses are stupid, be sincere.
It’s not working, I don’t want to talk about it or explain (it’s gonna be a long process), so Good bye.
That’s good enough.
Reply
Seattle Washington Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 8:30 am
Dude, lol… Whipping out a chart like it was a client presentation, going through where she is on the scale and where you’d like to be in Q4 of 2009 is kind of assholish.
Business man, cut & dry assholish, but assholish nonetheless. I give you props for your knowing what you want though.
Reply
ASmith Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 8:45 am
I was with you Tunde, until you shared some lines you’d be willing to use.
There’s no reason to lie, but there’s no reason to hurt someone’s feelings.
I look at it like this: Give enough information to say what you mean, but not so much that you kill that person’s emotions and eff them up for the next person.
Unfortunately some (and Lord knows I wish to emphasize the some here as in some not all, not most, not every, but SOME) people need you to be rude before they get it, but that’s because they got lied to before by passive-ass folks who let them believe there was a future and/or they’re just effin’ crazy.
Bottom line, just tell the truth, but have some damn couth about it.
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 8:50 am
I dealt with a crazy bizzle before. I think I’ve mentioned it on a previous post. I told her multiple times that her quest for booship wasn’t going anywhere other than #fail land. None of these 8 would have worked on here. Definitely had to use the graphs and public humiliation.lol. Asshole? Yes. Effective? Yes.
Reply
ASmith Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 8:54 am
And truly, I support it. I understand it. Those crazy folks make it hard for those of us who are capable of understanding “I don’t want this anymore…” the first time.
As a matter of fact, I had to help coordinate an intervention in a similar situation. I felt bad for ol’ girl, but she was.not.getting.it
But Slim, you know that every female won’t be like that, so you don’t reach for the shotgun when a BB gun will do.
Reply
Tunde Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 9:50 am
like i just replied to OneChele, i wouldn’t use these lines verbatim but i would use some variation of them. i actually have before. not saying that it was right but it was definitely necessary.
Reply
Reina Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 9:23 am
I found these hilarious. Mean-spirited, yes, but hella funny.
Reply
Reecie Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
these are absolutely dreadful. you might get slapped where you stand. LMAO.
Reply
Tunde Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
yeah i might. but at least you would know the truth. and in the end isn’t that what you want?
Reply
Great post, I recently dated a guy whose career seems to be taking off and I really respected what he was doing, so I never tried to be selfish with his time. After talking for about a month and a half, I realized our conversations constantly came back to how busy he was getting with work and how it would get much worse in the next few months. Considering my schedule is ridiculously jammed pack, I decided to end things on the “Were too busy for each other, lets be friends” note. It definitely didn’t go as smooth as I though, but he was giving me all the signs and I’m a shoot first kinda girl. I think even when the senarios above are true, men tend to throw ALOT of hints out there before it even comes to the nice guy let down.
Reply
Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 7:35 am
U did pretty much what I would have.
Reply
ASmith Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 8:48 am
I think even when the senarios above are true, men tend to throw ALOT of hints out there before it even comes to the nice guy let down.
I agree. I’ve had a lot of my guy friends tell me they wanted to break up with their girl, but didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so they started doing little things to push her to break up with them (one of my friends went way too far and that was a bad news bears break up, especially when he realized, a year later, he actually did want her)
Not that women don’t do this, either, but in my experience it’s usually been guys.
Reply
Renee Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 9:25 am
ASmith Ive soo been there with the guy who throws the assholish hints, you move on and then a few months later they come back around beggin and pleading, pfff. And whats with the 6 months to 1 year it takes them to realize they still have feelings for you. If she is still available to you after all that time, its pretty sad. I just have no patience, so I tend to jump at the first sign of smoke…
Reply
Reasons 1 – 7 are some bullshiggity and come across as such. I recommend (highly) going with a #8 but nicer: I’m sorry if this hurts your feelings but you’re not the person I want to be with. Period, don’t add a “now” or an “at this time” because a woman who was into you believes that you’ll come back around and she’ll hold onto that.
Next, she’s going to ask why. Just tell the truth – I met someone else, you’re not doing it for me, I no longer find you attractive, I got better ish to do. Harsh? Maybe but it’s really better to just rip off the bandaid all in one brutally honest swipe. IMHO.
Reply
Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 7:34 am
” Period, don’t add a “now” or an “at this time” because a woman who was into you believes that you’ll come back around and she’ll hold onto that. ”
AMEN.
Reply
Seattle Washington Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 8:27 am
Yeah, some of the list was highly tongue-in-cheek, like #4, but I feel like reasons 2, 3 & 5 aren’t bullshit excuses.
If someone can’t give or get the amount of time it takes to build a relationship, shouldn’t they walk away from it?
Reply
two things……
A) Did y’all really put her real name out there like that?
B) If you are Brian Urlacher, why would you read a defense? A linebacker plays defense. QBs reads D (pause)
Reply
Seattle Washington Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 8:04 am
1.) Yeah. That probably wasn’t the best idea huh?
2.) That’s what I get for writing this when doing 10 million other things. Messed up he’s out for the season though.
Reply
BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:14 am
OR maybe you just don’t know football…Get your Head in the GAME WASHINGTON!!!
Reply
Seattle Washington Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Are you questioning my fanhood BBW? Those are fighting words sir. I’ll see you offline.
Reply
Seattle, what do you know about “yeah you”? I play it over and over- it’s comical.
I have heard a couple of those excuses myself… From my fav relationship book, “He’s Just Not That Into You,” I learned that if a man really wants to be with you, he’ll forgo all of those excuses and make it happen.
Ladies, have some backbone and know when to walk away… You are worth so much more.
Additions:
LOL. I don’t have any…. You’ve got them all for me.
Reply
Streetztalk Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Sometimes those “excuses” are facts. Yea if a dude is into you he’ll forego it. What about when they say fuck it ill make it happen, and those same excuses end up dissolving the relationship. Do you say he was weak for letting that happen or weaker for not being upfront?
Reply
I’m not going to sit here and advocate assholish behavior. If he’s breaking up with me, I’m past the age where I am going to question him about it (I might dwell in my head, but I’m allowed) so go ahead and use your excuses. In the end it all means you don’t want to be with me, might as well be nice about it.
Maybe you have to get rude if she isn’t getting the hint, but otherwise I’m all for civility. Saying “I could do better” may be honest, but also it’s unnecessarily rude.
Reply
Yep, this list just about covers it.
I dealt with a dude once who tried to use a combo of these in order to “spare my feelings.” Thanks for trying to be “nice,” but its was partly about him saving his own behind by not saying what’s really on his mind and trying to avoid what he thought my reaction could have been. Which I understand b/c some women flip out.
The thing is that these lines are usually the last stop…its likely that things have already been different between yall before he whipped out the “its not you its me” line. Take the hint ladies, and save face (pause?)
Reply
These are all terrible reasons to bow out. I’m telling you from experience ladies, the last dude that kicked these lines to me never left my stoop. I feel like men say these things to justify leaving when they look themselves in the mirror.
I mean let’s face it, if you wanted to leave you wouldn’t bullshit my whole life, you’d just leave. Chances are you were an asshole anyway, so why would you take the time to leave respectfully? And if you were nice you wouldn’t be leaving me to begin with because you’d make it work no matter what.
Moral of the story: you can’t win.
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 8:55 am
Can’t co-sign that these are all terrible reasons, however…most folks are selfish so of course we’d say some of these things to ultimately make ourselves feel better. Other thing with this list is that there is an element of humor and exaggeration involved. Unfortunately, there a lot of men who have utilized these with the utmost level of seriousness. One of my bow outs that didn’t make the list:
“I don’t know about this relationship” followed up by never calling or speaking to her again. Passive, but also effective.
Reply
CHeeKZ Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 9:07 am
I think the ladies are really taking this one seriously today. I’m scared.
“if you were nice you wouldn’t be leaving me to begin”
~slight stalker talk
No offense. But just b/c a relationship ended does not mean that the one who broke it off isn’t nice. That is a bit unfair.
Reply
Smiley Face Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 9:42 am
“I think the ladies are really taking this one seriously today. I’m scared. ”
Not this one. I’m LMAO cuz y’all stoopid, lol! Ifn you gon leave , leave. Stop leaving folk dangling like a participle.
Reply
ASmith Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 9:46 am
DEAD @ the participle dangling…
Reply
Tunde Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 9:56 am
“Chances are you were an asshole anyway, so why would you take the time to leave respectfully? And if you were nice you wouldn’t be leaving me to begin with because you’d make it work no matter what.”
excuse me? lol. sometimes shit just doesn’t work. you aren’t married so this no matter what talk makes you sound a just a tad bit crazy/stalkerish. this could be the furthest thing from the truth but that’s how it comes across to me.
Reply
Ironman Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:08 am
“I’m telling you from experience ladies, the last dude that kicked these lines to me never left my stoop”
wait….you mean you killed them? daaaaaaaamn…..
Reply
CHeeKZ Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 11:00 am
lmao… Tunde/ Ironman… I’m glad I’m not the only one who saw that post.
Other than Smiley and Miss Jenkins (who is never dumped, i know), the ladies don’t seem to take rejection well.
Reply
Peyso Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:27 am
::last ditch effort:: – You wouldnt hear these from me b/c I wouldnt leave you
(Persistence overcomes resistance)
Reply
The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Just Cashed My Sec. 8 Check Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Lol…didnt you leave her already?
Reply
Honesty is always the best policy, but I do believe you can be too honest.
I agree with OneChele that you should end your sentence with period, because you don’t want to make the other person think there’s hope when there probably isn’t. In fact, I think people who do that, most of the time, are being selfish. They want to put a holder on it, juuuuuuuuuust in case. Nah, pimpin… if you don’t want it now, you can’t freeze it in case you do at some unknown point in the future. #fail.
Reply
I don’t understand why a dude owes an explanation?
First off, as Seattle previously posted men don’t break off long term relationships. However, when I’m cutting off a “potential relationship” I just stop calling. Its obvious to both of us, I beat and that was all I cared about (that is the truth).
I think people are really sleeping on number 4…
Esp around thanksgiving, thursday nights becomes football night. The only reason why I stay with my girl now is because she has the NFL Network and I don’t.
Plus Lost is coming back in January for the last season. I’ll be honest ladies… you aint worth it. The joy I get from watching good a good series is second only to new buns, but the same buns are a waste of time.
But don’t worry ladies..alot of good shows are leaving.
The Wire. The Shield. Lost is on its last season and 24 can’t be far behind.
Reply
Seattle Washington Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 9:17 am
I would suggest that you watch Fringe this fall, but I wouldn’t do that to your girl. She seems like a nice person.
Reply
CHeeKZ Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 9:21 am
I watched most of last season (before they took that Dec break) than I lost my Tivo.
So I don’t want to pick up with tonight’s episode. I’ll have to download first.
my girlfreind… she aight. But she aint no Jack Bauer (pause).
Reply
nyhoop Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 9:43 am
“The only reason why I stay with my girl now is because she has the NFL Network and I don’t.”
Wow Cheekz, lmfao!
Reply
CHeeKZ Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 11:02 am
I think I’m going to buy her a TiVo for her birthday… the perfect gift from the boyfreind who only thinks about himself.
Reply
I kno that I’ve used #s 5 & 6 as well as a variation of #1. (substituted “care for” in place of “love”) Breaking up with someone makes you an asshole anyway, in their eyes, so why not try to make it as painless as possible? Everyone wants the truth until they actually hear it. I could be honest and tell you that you bore me, but what would that gain either of us?
Reply
Is it just me? or does #6 remind you of the LL Cool J (ft. Lyfe Jennings) song “Freeze” lol. In case you aren’t familiar, here is an excerpt from some of the lyrics:
“I know I said I would roll with you,
Put my lifestyle on hold for you,
All them sweet things that I told you…
This conversation is overdue…
Getting too wild to respect the vow,
I just ain’t ready to settle down,
My name too big in the ghetto now…
Feels like i’m ready when i’m holding you,
But it’s so many honey’s what i’m sposed to do?
Keep sending them apology notes to you?
All I need is for you to freeze,
This is hard on me,
I don’t wanna leave,
But in the mean time take back the keys and…
Freeze”
LOL! Don’t give girls hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel…
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Everything in life is based on hope or faith. It’s only natural that we leave a little bit of hope because it’s the right thing to do.lol.
Reply
Jac Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Man…those lyrics are always being spoken somewhere and I’m wondering if at some points in time there isn’t truth to them…like real agony over whether or not what’s been said is real…
i’m just sayin…maybe not all the ones with d!cks aren’t d!cks?
Reply
Call it what you like but I prefer the “get ghost” approach. No explanation. No excuses. No “closure” or whatever. The line is “this isn’t going to work”. Then you disappear. Nothing you can say or do will remove hope from someone who’s really feeling you. I can’t think of any situation where an explanation could make her feel better or even make sense.
Oh, and by the way, #1 is perfectly valid, but I found out the hard way that its a quick way to send a relatively sane female into a homicidal rage…
Reply
Thanks for your insight guys! I actually wanted you to describe in detail how big of an idiot he is and then sing my praises but…I suppose that could be a post for a slower day. I’ve heard all those excuses from said weak and incompetent boy before and when I try to bow out gracefully, he kicks a whole new set of promises, somedays and maybes, which work for a couple weeks until the issue comes up again. So I’d like to ask the audience two questions: 1. Is he just full of shit? and 2. Do I move to the left (to the left) or grab my popcorn and wait for even more drama to unfold?
Dutiful reader, not so dutiful commenter, T.
Reply
ASmith Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:15 am
You need to keep it pushing.
There is never a time where the back and forth makes sense (yes, we all do it, but it doesn’t make sense).
Now, if he shows up later and you’re available and interested, so be it, but this is a no-brainer. If he wanted it to work, he’d make it work, that’s what men do.
Reply
Jac Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:29 am
Amen Asmith!
All the excuses and bullsh*t ain’t worth it…
Someone out there knows and recognizes your worth..Peace out-tell him save the drama for his mama.
Reply
Smiley Face Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Yup…what ASmith said
Reply
Tatica Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Seriously, why wait for more?
Don’t try to make a square fit into a circle, move it along…
Reply
CHeeKZ Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Sleep with someone else, preferably me.
Than makes sure he knows about it.
This will force him to show his true feelings and commit to a direction.
Reply
Anger Management Reply:
September 18th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
LMAO!
Reply
Miss Jenkins Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
I’d say keep it moving. The promises are nice, but if getting back together (or staying together) only to have the same issue come up, then its likely that its just not the best time right now, if at all. If its meant to be, he’s come back. If not, such is life. In the mean time, do you!
Reply
GENIUS!!! Complete and utter genius from ‘The Teen Summit Crew thats All Grown”
I mean where do I begin!?! First #7, I remember that was my reason for bowing out and this female refused to believe it! LOL, I mean what did she want me to do, just drop the ball intentionally for her to have a reason to complain!?
#8…WOW…I mean when someone just doesn’t get the full picture. I mean similar to the slogan “No means, No!” there are some females that just don’t get it…
A ‘Yeah You’ moment sounds like a cool story but it is not fun at all!!
Reply
The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Just Cashed My Sec. 8 Check Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:27 am
LMAO @ The Grown Teen Summit Crew
Reply
LOL and smdh at these excuses especially number 4.
Reply
That’s what I say! He says: its not that easy. He says he’s not interested in anyone else and he feels committed to me but, I don’t get it. Think maybe having a B.S. means that’s exactly what I fall for everytime lol
Reply
Anna Nimous Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Girl, he can only put you on this emotional roller coaster if you let him. My advice is to move on and don’t look back. That back and forth mess is selfish and dramacidal. Also, slightly b*tchazzded.
Reply
Ms. Cherry Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
T… girl commitment is commitment, there are no “BUT”s. Don’t walk, RUN, to the nearest exit.
If you leave, after a while he may follow, but be forewarned he may come after you with the same BS in a shiny new bag.
Reply
When I was a freshman in college I met a guy that was all cool and ish…at the end of the year he was like man you’re the wifey type..but I’m not there…
I threw a pot at his head.
*pause*
Four and a half years later we’re in a club and he tells me that 5, 6, and 7 were the reasons behind it all…then proceeds to tell me the only reason he stayed in college was to be the man that he thought I wanted and at various moments he had acted out to see if I still cared…in an instance like that I really can’t see it being a lying type thing..not assholish at all that’s just knowing you’re not on the right level…nothing wrong with that…
(But listen ladies, if after five years you waiting around-which I was NOT and he’s still not where he thinks he needs to be and all that ish you’re an #epicfail and you should jump off a bridge)
Kthnxbye!
Reply
ASmith Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 11:38 am
My ex used to do that acting out stuff. Like serious acting out stuff to illicit a response from my emotionally-walled off (yes, I can admit this) self… rarely did it work, because I was thinking “man is this dude effin’ crazy, maybe if I ignore it, he’ll stop…”
Reply
I effs with #8. i wish I did it in my last relationship. What should you do with the women that hears your #8 but doesnt believe it? (I’ve had it happen) She literally told me that we WERE NOT breaking up!!
Reply
Jac Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Peyso,
I’m not sure who this chick is but I need to meet her…
I really wanna meet anybody with enough gall to get in your face and say some foolishness like that..
If you wanted to break up with me-I’d move from in front of the door…
…and send you home w. a plate.
Reply
Peyso Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:39 am
This is why I love southern women. You break up with them and you still get to leave with some food. ::swoons:: (pause)
Reply
Jac Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Better to stay though…
Ask the man who walked out my house last night w/ peas, chicken, cornbread and a whole pan of brownies…
And that plate might be…POISON!
LOL..nah..I couldn’t
Reply
I’m not looking for a husband or anything like that. Just see lots of potential in a [sometimes] nice guy. Reasons 1, 2, 5 and 7 are what I get. I think those are decent enough reasons that don’t make me feel too bad for sticking around. But how do you when you’re being played for a fool?
Reply
Jac Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:55 am
To me, 1 is bull. If you loved me, you’d try to do the right thing…
2, 5, 7 are things that he can fix quick, fast and in a hurry if he wants to be the man in your life. There’s not a thing in the world that can stop a man from being your man if that’s where he wants to be.
That said, one monkey still don’t stop no show…somewhere, somehow there’s got to be a man out there who can give you what you need without all the bull…like my little story..I’ve never had to deal w/ bull from that dude. He’s been there when I needed him, but he wasn’t there in the capacity he wanted to be there and watched me date other dudes for FOUR years. No harm, no foul.
But to just sit and wait and all you are getting are excuses…I don’t care if he’s working on himself, his mama and his 17 first cousins HE CAN MAKE IT WORK FOR YOU to be in his life.
Reply
Ms. Cherry Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
I agree!
I feel you on seeing lots of potential in a [sometimes] nice guy…
When I found myself in that situation I decided that while I’m not trying to miss out on something that could be awesome, I’m also not trying to get stepped on repeatedly in the process, also, no man ever chooses the girl who sits outside their door (ala Me’shell Ndegeocello)
It’s disappointing when things don’t work out the way you want them to, especially when you feel like you KNOW it’s a good look but it bees like that sometimes.
You deserve to be with someone who’s just excited about you as you are about them.
Reply
The funny thing is… I’ve heard AND said prett much all these (and I say #8 on a regular basis)… But the worst thing is when no matter what you say, they just don’t get the picture. I might be wrong, but I think guys are way more guilty of not understanding I DON’t LIKE YOU FREAK!! than women… Women will make excuses if a guy is vague, but if he’s blunt, we tend to bow out not-so gracefully. But guys… I dunno what it is, maybe their egos or not being used to rejection or what… But it seems like the more honest I am, the more they pursue me… Not all guys by any means… But the ones that do, NEVER quit. I’m talkin years here, kids.
I’d like the next list from S&S to be things guys tell women to get in their pants… I wanna know what game I’ve been victim of in the past.
Make it happen, boys! =)
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Brilliant mutha-effin idea!
Reply
Jac Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:57 am
OMG Joey!
I have always wanted to know what lines I’ve been a victim of…
I already have one that I wanna see if it’s gonna be on the list…!
Reply
Seattle Washington Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:57 am
I don’t know if I want to reveal those secrets…
Reply
Ms. Cherry Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Girl, be careful what you wish for. I have a few men that are of the highest caliber of assholes for friends. I also grew up in a barbershop full of grimey nuccas and ex-cons. I’ve watched all types of game go down and at this point I can see
bullshitgame coming from a mile away.I’ve been told this is why I have no man, because men can see that I’m not gonna buy what their selling.
When you know the
reindeergames men play it only makes you more culpable when you get involved with them. Plus, if they have a healthy sized ego (no Beyonce) they’re still gonna think they gamed you even if you let yourself get “got” on purpose.Reply
Seattle or Slim, WHY you put the Jennifer Holliday lyric under that picture of that man? Had me crackin’ up for a good five minutes because he looks nothing like a person who would sing that.
Anywho.
“8.) “…I just don’t want to be with you!” ::play N.E.R.D.’s “Yeah You”::”
Files this under “Extra-Evil Way to Break Up With a Ninja”. Props to anyone who has done this. I mean, exactly this. Say the quote and then press play on your stereo and then have N.E.R.D.’s “Yeah You” fade in. I’m sure I’ll be able to use this in the future…
Reply
Seattle Washington Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 11:06 am
LOL. I’m happy someone else gets the humor. I chuckled to myself right after it was posted.
Reply
CHeeKZ Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Just for future notice my snugglelovedrops… which break up line would be best to use if I wanted to ensure “break up sex”?
Aint nothing wrong with getting the e-draws one last time, right?
Reply
Toni Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 11:31 am
I know right. I’m keeping that one around in case I ever need to use it.
Reply
CHeeKZ Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
” You know baby. I’m mad and emotional right now. I just don’t want you to leave like that: angry and driving on the road… just wait. I wasn’t expecting this. You know, I’m just feeling like there is no closure. .. yeah.. just … close the door. “
Reply
Cheekie Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
“Just for future notice my snugglelovedrops… which break up line would be best to use if I wanted to ensure “break up sex”?”
Hmm…*thinks about it*
Possible break-up lines to get thee draws off (these can be all lies by the way, but you gotta be a good actor and/or be dating a moron to pull it off):
- “Yeah, baby, see your P-Power had me goin’ crazy, so in order to be a better boyfriend to you, I think we better separate for a while so I can clear my head up”
- “I’m not good enough for you”
- “Boo-boo, I love you and errthang, but you’re not as good good in bed as my ex, and my standards are high” (works on the competitive “Yeah, you wanna bet? I’ll show you…” kinda chick)
- “I’ve decided I want to be celibate”.
Yeah, that’s what I’ve got for now…please report back with results. Kthx.
Reply
ASmith Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
I support the “I’m not good enough for you” with a combo of sniffles and, if you can, a tear or two.
Reply
LOL at this post. My BS radar is going off on 1,3,4 and 5, but 2,6,7 and 8 have legitimacy to them.
My ex used the line, “We can’t be together because you are unable to reciprocate what you expect in return.” At the time of the breakup my BS radar went off on that one too. But in all honesty I didn’t.
My lil bro’s gf just broke up with him (two days after his chemo treatments ended at that). She said “I think we might grow apart.” Another BS excuse. She just wants to be free to talk to other people (he’s a senior in HS and she’s a freshman in college).
Personally I just tell people, “I’m not mature enough to handle being in a relationship with you right now. And since I like myself as is, I’m not trying to change.” Is it BS? Most definitely.
The truth hurts sometimes, but it’s way better than fiction. The problem comes in when the BS answer is actually the truthful one. If a person’s response is full of BS, but it’s the truth, then that prolly isn’t the person for you anyway.
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 11:19 am
“We can’t be together because you are unable to reciprocate what you expect in return.”
That’s actually some really real ish.
Reply
CHeeKZ Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Co-sign. Shame on you Toni. .. j/k.
Good luck to your brother, hope he recovers fully. However he is better off not being “that guy” that visits his girlfreind in college to have everyone laughing at him b/c they trized the love of his life in the bathroom.
speaking of which.. anybody hear about that Hofstra case?
Reply
Toni Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
LOL it wasn’t my fault that I ask all the right questions and never volunteer info. Ask and ye shall receive. And the bro is good, thanks.
The Hofstra case was a mess. Some girl allegedly made up a story about five guys gang raping her. Incidents like that discredit the real rape victims out there.
Reply
ASmith Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Ugh, that Hofstra case makes me so upset.
Rape is one of those things you just can’t lie about; it has repercussions for people you’ll never meet and is one of the many reasons rape isn’t taken as seriously as it should be in this society.
Reply
Streetztalk Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
Check my tweetz for my Hofstra Commentary. My campus is a f*ckin Super Villian prison because of this chick. Dude almost lost a scholarship and all that. I hope they sue the living FCUK out of her.
At least she got suspended.
Reply
As a woman, my go to line is:
Our personalities don’t mesh well (for more than an occasional conversation).
It took years to develop but there is no way a man can argue that line.
Reply
Toni Reply:
September 17th, 2009 at 11:28 am
LOL Luvs it!
Reply
“i’m in a long distance relationship.” i’ve tried all the nice ways to break it off and nothing works! then, i stopped calling, whenever they call i tell them that i’m busy. can’t even remember last time we had a conversation. guess ima have to go for the assholish aproach! damn people that don’t get the very loud hints!! i don’t wanna be known as the asshole!
Reply
These are funny. Some are clearly BS, but I appreciate the effort.
1 Addition:
Him: “Your father just threatened to cut my d!ck off. I would say that you are worth it, but I wouldn’t be much good to you if that were the case.”
Me: Sigh… I guess your right.
Reply
As a female, I’ve used at least one or two of the above excuses…and I wasn’t lyin
Reply