The Down Low Brotha
Also known as: one of my biggest fears. For those who don’t know, the term refers to men who live a heterosexual lifestyle, yet creep betwixt the sheets with men, unbeknownst to their girlfriends, boos, jump offs, and wives.
I was out at dinner this weekend in an area they call “Gay-borhood” with some of my friends. The night was beautiful, the food was good, and the company was great. As we sat, I saw a variety of couples walking up and down le street. Straight couples, gay couples, interracial gay and straight couples. It was nice to see the all the people hugged up and what not. At least someone is. As I sat there, and watched a few burly handsome Black men switch walk up the with their (male) boos, I got to thinking: do these men live two lives?
Ladies, I’m sure most of us like to believe we have, good “gaydar” but the reality is…these men manage to make it past the sensors of some women. The things we expect to see to clue us in on a man’s sexuality: broken wrists, switching hips, super tight man-shirts and man-jeans, waxed eyebrows, or whatever other visual clues probably aren’t true for the down low brother. This is spectulation, but I’d imagine that this man probably has average or super levels masculinity. He seems like an average straight dude that likes to do typical manly things: grab his crouch, watch countless hours of ESPN, fix things, etc, etc. But when night falls (or on his lunch break) he leaves these things behind, in exchange for an “alternate life style”.
The idea of me being in love with (or sexing) a man who has sex with men is scary. So how does a woman protect herself against this faking-the-funk creeper? I don’t know that we can. (I’m working on that list.) If I ever make such a discovery, I have but two words: Lorraina. Bobbet.
And why do men feel the need to be on the DL? I don’t know if this phenomenon exists in the White community to the extent its portrayed to exist in ours but I wonder. Maybe this is the Black man’s version of being in “the closet.” Its no secret that generally, the Black community does not welcome homosexuality with open arms. But for me, I’d much rather a man be openly gay than for him to try to play in my yard, whilst having some man playing in his. Be gay. Do you. Or him. But don’t try to do me too, and lie about it. It’s not fair.
How do you good Three Ways readers feel about dudes on the DL? Ladies, are you worried that he might snag you up? Have you ever thought a boo piece was gay? Fellas, does he give straight men a bad name? How would you feel if wifey-kins was creeping with a chick, but claimed to be all about riding the magic pony? Is this kind of creeping worse than good ole cheating? Bring on the noise. But please be respectful.
Sowhatiff - I’m not ever moving to Atlanta - Jenkins
-
- Help Us Grow! Subscribe!
Guess I’m the first one back to work after the extended weekend?
Question to Tiff, what is it that bothers you? The fact that your man gives better boppington than you, the speculation that downlow brothers are known to not were rubbers, or the fact that you are being lied to? Would you ever date an openly BI dude?
N/H but all Bi-sexual women can hit me up cheekz@ http://www.LOC.org. As long as she is honest with me and its not another dude, it’s a turn on. I would want to hear all about her exploits and bring some home! Let a homey watch. If you have been paying attention to my comments you would know that I love a naked women (almost to obsessive levels), I don’t see how ANYONE could resist those curves. I feel sorry for gay men and straight women.
I blame these black preachers for being blowhards. No one should feel pressure to lie. I don’t know who made homosexuality the worse sin in the world. Like us straight folks are so holy with our premartial sex.
Reply
Nicki Sunshine Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 8:20 am
“I don’t know who made homos*xuality the worse sin in the world. Like us straight folks are so holy with our premartial s*x.”
Very good point here.
Reply
ASmith Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Co-sign
Reply
Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Hell no I would not date an openly bisexual man.
Reply
If I found out a man I was dating was on the DL, I’d prolly try to seriously hurt him. Not only did he betray me (by cheating), but he’s cheating with another MAN. Once a man goes that way, I feel like there’s nothing a woman can do for him. And I think it’s selfish to not even consider the woman in that.
I’m not worried about finding a DL man… It’s not one of the things that pops into my head when looking for a mate.
I don’t think there’s any way we can be protect ourselves from this- unless the man resembles Terry McMillan’s ex. I think men on the DL have perfected the art of deception out of fear- from community backlash, ie. job, friends, family, etc. so all we can do is notice obvious signs and pray for the best.
I dated a man who I didn’t think was outright gay, but some of his ways caused me to raise my brow- like shaping his eyebrows to wear they were arched, how he knew more about bedsheets, duvets and thread counts than I did, etc.
Reply
Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 10:08 am
i agree with this statement. if i found that the dude i was messing with was on the DL, i might have to black out on his @$$. thats so not cool…
but yeah, as Nicki said, it’s not the first thing on my mind when i start dating someone. however, i am on the look out for anything that he does that “looks gay”.
Reply
An ex-boyfriend of mine came out of the closet while we were “dating”. I had suspicions (we won’t EVEN discuss how most of my friends pegged him as gay from day 1but I chose to ignore them.) Of course, I can’t be sure of what he did in between knowing he was gay and coming out of the closet, except for what he told me and what he told me was that he didn’t sleep with anyone (dot, dot, dot — ASmith got tested anyway).
Anywho, he tried to pull the “I’m bi-sexual, this could still work” thing but the deception was a problem AND the more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t handle it. I don’t know what that says about me, but I already had issues with women flirting with him in front of me (shamelessly). I couldn’t imagine how I’d handle thinking that all men and women were potential problems. There are things one takes for granted, like knowing he’s out with his boy and not being worried like you are if you think he went out with a group of females… that was too much stress for the kid.
I honestly think my ex was struggling with his identity, moreso than purposefully trying to look one part while playing another. While the black community is super-homophobic, it’s still not fair for a man to sleep with other men and not be up front and honest about it. There are too many deadly and life-altering diseases floating around here for that. It’s irreponsible and selfish.
Life is all about choices. Choose to be honest with yourself and those around you.
Oh, and I wonder about the “DL” in the white community as well… too bad they don’t have any men (or ex-wives) messy enough to write tell-all books (yet…)
Reply
I’m going to be frank, the same rules apply to heterosexual relationships and cheating as do Down Low dipping.
If your spouse or significant other has free time that is unaccounted for per his/her own words, mouth & actions, there’s a chance you have a problem.
There should be almost nothing to hide from a spouse or significant other. And if this is true, you’ll know if you have a cheater, because that’s what a DL dude is anyway: a cheat.
Is it made worse by his choosing to sleep with men? Yeah, if you think homosexuality is immoral. Just have the same rage when he uses your debit card at the Gentleman’s club (the titty bar or the gay one).
Now, does it give straight men a bad rap? No. It gives gay men a worse rap … because DL dudes are called gay. Not bisexual. Not tweeners, but homosexual.
I’m not saying any of this is right or wrong. It just is what it is …
Reply
Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Well said.
Reply
if a dude i was with was on the DL, i would so be in prison. because he will die with a knife to the neck.
now, would i kill my straight man if i found out he was cheating? no. because i can move on from that in a hearbeat. a man cheating on me with another man, makes me feel like i’m not sexy. self-esteem killer. if I, self-proclaimed best thing since sliced bread in the bed, can’t give you what you need/want sexually OR emotionally, then what do I have left to offer?
just thinking about it, makes me sick. yuck!
Reply
A white girlfriend of mine back in h.s. said she would rather find out her man was cheating with another man than with a woman. She said that she can accept not being “enough” for a gay man – she’ll always be lacking something and it’s not her fault. If her dude left her for a woman she would feel like she failed in some way.
As for me – I’m pretty darn adventurous when it comes to mcluvin, but I can’t get down with 2 men together (at least not in my bed, lol).
And I know that this is kinda unfair, but in the DC metro area bi men get blamed for the high HIV rate – people view them as the link between gay and straight. Not the uninformed or cheaters or those who refuse to get themselves tested. This mentality is *literally* killing us.
Fear of the DL brotha can consume you if you’re not careful – just remember that the main issue is not sexuality, it’s monogamy. Your very straight boo can still give you something that a little pill won’t cure. ALWAYS protect yourself.
Reply
I’m as straight as they come, I cringe when I see gay men hold hands. I vomit in my mouth when i see gay men kiss (i almost let it loose the first time on this girl walking in front of me in SoHo), but that’s their lifestyle. Who am I to say what’s right and what’s not? I don’t see anything wrong with a man being bi-sexual as long as he let’s both parties know that he goes both ways. I think it’s very important that is out in the open in the beginning so everyone knows what they’re getting into because ppl can get hurt especially females. My family is from “Anti-mon, Boom Bye Bye in a Batty Bwoy head, Burn down the Chi-Chi” West Indies where they demand a lynching if you’re a homosexual but i realized this is not a new thing. Ceasar slept with men, voodoo priest in Haiti use to have homosexual relationships all the time. I don’t understand why men do these things especially when the female body is one of the most beautiful if not, the most beautiful thing on this Earth. I strongly believe in if you don’t understand it, don’t criticize it before you learn about it. And I don’t plan on learning about it so I won’t criticize it.
Reply
Yeah Whatev Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
My family is from “Anti-mon, Boom Bye Bye in a Batty Bwoy head, Burn down the Chi-Chi” West Indies where they demand a lynching if you’re a homos*xual but i realized this is not a new thing.
I agree Ancient Greece was Rainbow Central. Sodom and Gomorrah were zestfully free. However,the modern day West Indies, especially the extremely”homo-cidal” islands are breeding grounds for down lowing. Don’t be suprised if the same ones who are shouting “Bun chi-chi man! Bun Dem!” the loudest could be the ones who most enjoy frequent male on male prostate exams.
Reply
I don’t think it gives straight men a bad name. Like “Thismayconcernyou” said, it just gives other gay dudes a bad rap. I have respect for any dude who’s upfront about who they are. After all it takes a lot to come out to your friends and family and, more importantly, to yourself.
With that in mind, I’m disgusted by those cats who live a double life. It’s one thing to be in the closet, it’s another to know what you prefer and still pretend to be something you’re not.
Reply
Streetz: The Light Skinned Jesus Shuttlesworth Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
“With that in mind, I’m disgusted by those cats who live a double life. It’s one thing to be in the closet, it’s another to know what you prefer and still pretend to be something you’re not.”
Thats my biggest issue too… like the covert ish is what makes all these situations messy and dangerous for all parties. Women become paranoid, and rightfully so. I could care less about your choice, but that deceit in being a switch sider and not letting a woman know is crazy 2 me!
Reply
who cares who has sex with whom, long as its protected and you dont lie to me about it
DL men feel they have to lie cause they dont want that backlash for being themselves, they dont want to ruin relationships and what not, or they just may like lying lol
Reply
I have a friend who is currently on the down low and he sleeps with his girl and men. The reason that I have a problem with this situation is because he hasn’t told his girl. And if she does know, then shame on her because she deserves more than a man who would do that to her. Gay or straight.
In my life, I’m very old school when it comes to my personal relationships. I don’t want a guy whose prettier than me. And sorry but, I appreciate the fact that a guy may want to look nice but pretty boys always raise red flags for me.
And my homeboy that I just talked about, definitely fits into that category. Like I could always talk about which hair products I was using, what I was going to wear to a party etc., etc. Correct me if I’m wrong but do these things sound like the kind of things a hetero male would be interested in? No.
Lasty, I was at first weirded out by gay relationships. I mean I voted for gay marriage b/c I feel that no one should tell someone how to live their life. But, I still couldn’t be around them. But, after seeing my cousin and his man and seeing what I view as true love, I’m over it. They can’t help who they love. As long as you are open and honest, I say DO U.
Reply
Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Exactly. Open and honest. Or even if you are in the closet, don’t keep the door open and pretend you are about something that you aren’t.
Reply
I agree, the lying is the worst part whether you’re cheating with a man or a woman. I would definitely feel worse if you cheated with a woman b/c if you cheated with a man then I’d feel like there’s nothing that I could do to “scratch your itch”, but with a woman I would feel like there was something that I did wrong.
No matter what your sexuality is, there’s too much floating around for anyone to be dishonest. POINT, BLANK, PERIOD.
Reply
I dated a chick once who turned out to be a box muncher. I used to always tease her for her tomboyish ways and she would get really upset. We break up then next thing I know a couple years go by and she’s in pictures hugged up wit a women and sporting the rainbow colors everywhere. Had I found out she had been eating coot pie while we were together, I don’t know what I would have done. My instinct would have told me to go get the camcorder…
Reply
Sigh…Sadly this is something I’ve had to deal with in the last month.
I only comment occasionally but basically, I got engaged in December to my boyfriend of four years. I never really thought he was gay. He would do silly things sometimes that I would just chalk up to him being a nerd (I like nerds) and being into anime cartoons and video games.
So, we were engaged for about two weeks when I went over to his apartment (which I’d had a key to for two years and was always able to come and go as I pleased) and opened up his lap top to research some wedding stuff.
Imagine my surprise when the screen lights up and there’s an e-mail address of my fiance’s that I never knew existed. The e-mails were between my fiance and men from craigslist looking for…sexual favors. I went to the craigslist posting and there was a photo of my fiance’s…excited member. How did I know it was him? He was on his bedspread, which I recognized and I mean, when you’re with someone for four years, you get to know what IT looks like.
I was frozen with fear (after I threw up, that is). I mean, I had no idea what to do or say or anything. I had been with this man for four years and was about to marry him. Part of me was obviously angry but another part was humiliated. Like, how could I tell anyone about this? Who could I talk to?
Long story short, I confronted him about it that day and he told me that this is something he did when he was bored. He also said that he was really homophobic in high school, so he used to go meet the men and throw rotten eggs and water balloons at them when they showed up.
I told him I needed time to think. My mind told me that he was gay and that no straight man would do this, especially the photo part. But your heart doesn’t always listen to your mind as we all know. He’d done dumb things before (less serious, but still dumb) and explained them to me and they actually were true. So, this was a real internal struggle for me.
Three weeks later (as I was still trying to decide what to do) this bama came to me and told me he was too selfish to get married!
Are you kidding me?! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry (so I did a lot of both). I mean, maybe he was stronger than me to just end it, but please don’t come to me with some farce about being selfish when we both know that you’re gay.
I’ve spent the last four months going back and forth between being relieved that he freed me something that I fear I may not have been able to do myself and being horrified of the reality of my relationship. I still haven’t told my parents and have only told one or two of my friends.
Before this happened I would’ve sworn that I would have done cut IT off, slashed tires, etc. But when it came down to it, I was literally frozen with fear and shame. I mean HOW do you tell people this without them pitying you?
I also know that if I had let myself get to the point of slashing tires and d*cks, I may never recover. I know myself well enough to know that if I got that vengeful, I would spend the rest of my life wasting energy on something that isn’t there and blocking my own blessings. So, I’ve kept my head high and am trying to move on with as little baggage as possible.
I’ve been tested and I’m ok, but needless to say, I’m now one of those women that is hyper-sensitive to the DL brotha. Can you blame me?
I know this was long, but it was a bit of therapy for me…woo sah!
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Wow. This is reckless. It sounds like this is exactly what many women fear. Sounds like something out of a movie. Geeeez.
Reply
Anna Nimous Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Bless you, Ash. It took a lot for you to get that off your chest. I applaud you for being strong enough to keep your composure and begin moving on. No need to feel ashamed – your lying cheating ex-fiance can have all of those emotions for himself. And don’t rush yourself or your emotions. This was truly a tragedy, and your mind and spririt will take some time to mend. In the meantime, I’m glad that you were brave enough to get tested.
For real, this is just a new take on an old story: “Cheating, No-Good, Dirty Dog Takes Advantage of Open Hearted Significant Other.”
Reply
ASmith Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
I think telling the story is so much better therapy than what most people would think is good therapy. I totally identify with the embarassment and humiliation. I felt extra stupid because, like I said, so many of my friends had him pegged as gay from the jump and I dismissed so much of it (one of my friends even told me after the fact she’d peeped him checking out other guys…)
Someone else said something about being ok with their man leaving them for a man because he apparently needs something you, as a female, could never give him, but it’s really not that simple. The deception, feeling used (at least I felt used — I felt like he wanted me to help him live a lie, and I’m not about that at all) combined with the humiliation and embarassment can be totally paralyzing. And it seems that the other person is never as apologetic as they should be. It’s not about apologizing for your lifestyle, it’s about apologizing for your purposeful deception.
Which goes to what another commenter said about a cheat being a cheat, no matter who they cheat with. This is true, but I personally feel like there’s a wee-bit more to it than that. A man who’s living another life is lying in one of his lives and if you’re the one in his “lie-life” what’s that say about your life and however long you’ve been with them? I felt like, after my bf came out, I lost years of my life because were they all a lie?
(Steps off soapbox)
Reply
Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Like Anna said, let your emotions run their course. Nothing you are feeling is unusual, and no one can tell you how you should or shouldn’t feel, especially those who have never been there. Do whatever you need to do to heal and move forward.
Reply
Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
To me the most honest thing this man ever said to you was that he was too selfish to get married.
I’m glad you are deadly-disease free and found out b4 you said “I do”…
I’m curious to hear what the gay men who engage in sex acts and secret relationships with DL brothers have to say because I think they are just as much @ fault..
i really have no fresh insight on the post, but i’m pretty much siding with everyone else…come out the closet be real with who you are. Doesn’t mean you gotta switch and have a lisp..but to lie and start a life with someone you have no business being with makes you lower than dirt..I have more respect for a drug dealer.
Reply
Ash Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
@ Slim – Yeah, it was pretty traumatic. Sometimes I still have to look back and say, “Was that my life? Did that really happen? This isn’t supposed to happen to me!”
@ Anna – Thanks! I’ve been trying to let myself be hurt, sad, angry and all that. It’ll be four months on Friday and I’m just now starting to get back out there and date, knowing that I’m not ready for another relatsionship right now. I want to make sure I’m as emotionally healthy as possible before I meet the next person that I’ll be in a relationship with…
@ASmith- Yes! Co-sign on all of that! That’s what I continue to struggle with. Was I a lie? A cover?
I was with this man from 20 years old until 24. That’s a long time! Now, I’ve had to struggle with will any men find me attractive or am I only good for a gay cover-up. I’ve always thought of myself as a good-looking girl, but this made my self-confidence take a huge hit! I’m better now, but for a minute I was really shaken.
Afterwards my friends told me that they thought that something was off about him, but didn’t say anything because they didn’t want to make me angry. On one hand, I see their position because sometimes that kind of evaluation may not be recieved well, but on the other hand, I was pissed that they let me play dummy for so long…Also, we went to a small school together where everybody was always in everybody’s business and I never heard anything about him doing something inappropriate…It was just a huge shock to me.
@ Toronto – I definitely agree with that. A more honest thing to say would be, “I’m gay,” but I digress…
After this incident, I went on craigslist…OMG…y’all would be amazed at the amount of men who are willing to go on this site and admit they’re married with kids and looking for a sexual encounter with another man. It’s disgusting!
I’ve always thought that we shouldn’t judge gay people for their lifestyles, but this decision has taught me that we really should stop being homophobic. Let these people be gay, so that smart, attractive, loyal and honest women like myself don’t get got!
Oh yeah, did I mention I live in Atlanta? I’m seriously considering a move to a less gay-friendly city. I want the gays to be able to do what they want, but I can’t keep running into cuties and being disappointed by their sexual orientation! LOL! I’m definitely taking suggestions…
Reply
Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Atlanta. Smh. It seems as though the rumors may be true.
Reply
OrangeStar616 AKA Kwana of tha good DisKrit Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
well def don’t come to DC, right behind ATL…
The stories I could tell, SMH….. yes its the lie that makes it SO foul, the lies and the wake the women are left in..one good thing….. your eyesight….. as far as spotting suspects is peeled back, you def have THE vision afterwards darling LOL along with the humilation and pain sometimes even compassion.
You never know how you will deal with something til you are in it.
Reply
Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Ash,
You’re spirit is fly to handle the situation the way you did. Thank you for sharing that…I can imagine that it wasn’t easy. Hopefully it was a lil cathartic though. K. I have to read the follow up comments now
.
Reply
There is just so much I can say about this topic (takes a deep breath)…and this whole conversation was a serious consideration for my dissertation topic! There are so many psychological and historical aspects to “The DL Brotha” that are rarely addressed by those against and those who just don’t want to accept that it’s real to us, and a REAL problem in the Black community that results in Black women being the new face of HIV/AIDS due to HETEROSEXUAL ENCOUNTERS, where as high as 74% of new incidences of HIV are heterosexual Black females. I’m glad to see that a lot of critical points were raised in these discussions! Kudos to all you lovely readers.
Now, I’ve been fortunate and unfortunate to have seen the DLB situation from more than perspective; being a Black heterosexual female who dates Black men and can’t help but wonder sometimes if this could be the case with him, him OR him; doing research in the area and noting the historical significance of homophobia in the Black community that is said to be at root for this issue; trying to play a larger role in my immediate community in the way of education about prevention and protection regarding STDs and HIV/AIDS and coming up across and against the DLB; as well as working with and empathizing with so-called and never self proclaimed DLB’s in therapy.
Food for thought: In the psychological community, and in the LGBTQQIA (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, queer, questioning, intersexed and their allies), here’s a common term that is used to address this: MSM – “men who have sex with men” is what many men who engage in sexual activities with other men, however are in romantic and emotional relationships with women in public, prefer to be called, rather than “Down Low Brothas,” or gay, or bisexual.
This has many reasons behind it, largely the stigma associated with being gay, such as diseases, lack of masculinity, religious persecution, etc. Also, many of these men feel that who they have sex with, is not related to their sexuality. Think on that…because many people get sex and sexuality VERY confused. To each his own, because you can’t accurately identify someone’s sexuality as such if they do not ascribe to it themselves. (but this is a whole ‘nother conversation…)
As you can see, I can easily digress when it comes to this, and have clearly forgotten what I intended to write!
I guess my biggest issue is that many MSM choose not to use condoms while engaging in anal sex with other men. This is for many reasons, but it seems that the biggest reason for this is because the use of condoms make it real that they are, in fact, having risky sex.
If they use condoms, then they need to think of why they’re using condoms, and that’s because anal sex has a higher chance of contracting diseases. If they think of why they’re using condoms, then they think about their sexuality, and questioning if they are straight/gay/bisexual, whatever. If they begin to think about their sexuality, then they would begin to consider themselves to be things OTHER than heterosexual, and for Black men, this situation is not only interpersonally scary, but potentially dangerous and life threatening. My basic take on this: do what you do, but do it safely. I’d rather you lie to me SAFELY, than to be unsafe because you’re lying to me and yourself.
Whew! Off my psychological soapbox…
Reply
The problem is in the lie. I just wasted 5 yrs with a masculine man….never had a clue. Thought he was cheating with females only. Is it okay to cheat with females? No! But that’s a problem that can be worked on. If you’re cheating with males and females then don’t lead me to believe that you can ever be with me for keeps or that you can ever change. Don’t waste years of my life trying to figure out how this relationship and cheating issue can be fixed when in the end I find out it can’t because I can’t give you all you need because I’m not a man!
Reply
Okay first off “Hoe’s have a seat”
some of you ladies forget to address shit first off “Use a goddamn rubber” secondly half you Laura in here are so uneducated about sexuality that reading have the shit on here just made me laugh. True the black community don’t except shit unless it comes handed in front. Education and acceptence hello it gets worse so why not try to freaking discuss shit with partners for someone to say just like female or just like males is the stupidest approach to anything. Sexuality is engraved like DNA( please leave that preaching bible theoritical shit at the door)like ancient society gays,bi’s, lesbians existed and still do i would rather have an honest partner even if bi tell me and I woul be cool but to tell a man if he loves me that I am the only one he should be with? Hahahah right that’s why we hve so many std’s because people have bought into this western culture of only one partner (bitch please) I am a female an I could gives a fuck asling as my partner loves me and uses rubbers and allows me to join? Lol it doesn’t make him less of a man or more so fuckin what if he loves sucking dick so do I!! Let’s enjoy our cake and eat it too…just play responsiblly and always use condoms!!!!!
Reply