Visit Our Store!
Change You Can Believe In: Yourself
This is real right?
One of my friends has been sending out a lot of inspirational quotes and excerpts lately in an effort to increase our daily positivity and well…hustle. It’s such a simple thing, but in the grand scheme of life it has an impact on all of us. As most of you know, it’s easy to get caught up the flurry of work, school, relationship drama, sports, or some combination of those and other time absorbers. Even the most optimistic and spiritual of us still find time or reason to complain about where we are or how we’re not happy with some particular circumstance(s) in our daily life. Where would Eff ‘Em Friday be if everyone were totally and completely satisfied with their lives? We’d probably have changed the name of it to Fluffy Friday, Fantastic Friday, or some other corny variation. Why corny? Well, happiness and joy often lead to corniness and cheesiness.
I’m digressing like a man who came home smelling like lady juice and is being questioned by his boo about his whereabouts. Anyway, my friend shared the following tidbit from The 50th Law by Robert Greene:
People judge you by appearances, the image you project through your actions, words, and style. If you do not take control of this process, then people will see and define you the way they want to, often to your detriment. You might think being consistent with this image will make others respect and trust you, but in fact it is the opposite — over time you seem predictable and weak. Consistency is an illusion anyway — each passing day brings changes within you. You must not be afraid to express these evolutions. The powerful learn early in life that they have the freedom to mold their image, fitting the needs and moods of the moment. In this way, they keep others off balance and maintain an air of mystery.
Based on the fact that I thought this blurb was worthy of putting in a post, you can tell I like it. My first thought after reading this was that I needed to recreate myself if I wanted to progress to the next level in several areas of my life. Mr. Greene suggests that people need to consistently reinvent themselves. This got me to thinking about the concepts of people undergoing change (not sex change), turning into a new person, or maintaining a certain level of consistency. I wrote a post a while back for Single Black Male stating that I believe people can and should change in the context of a relationship if it’s for the greater good. Of course there are those who come from the school of thought where a person should never change for anybody else; and if they do change, it’s just for show and they’re being fake.
You can even take the example of someone who starts going to church and seems to become a different person overnight. The first thought from others typically isn’t “Wow. Marcus really is trying to become a better person.” It’s usually something more along the lines of “We’ll see how long this lasts” and is followed by a period where everything the person does is seen as a temporary change before reverting to his former and “real” self. Another example is someone that gets into a serious relationship and suddenly doesn’t want to indulge in debauchery anymore because he or she doesn’t want to risk ruining what they have. His or her friends may not like the change, but he or she deemed it necessary for their success.
As my worlds—both online and real life—have started to collide, I’ve given a lot more thought to this concept of change and reinventing myself. I have a real pic posted online attached to my alias and I’m starting to bump into people that read the blog when I’m out and about. It’s becoming more and more obvious that people expect certain things from me. And a lot of what they expect is based on what I portray here. There are people that see me in multiple social and professional settings and think that I’m a bit fake because I can adapt to my audience. Do I keep it real with people? Yes, but realness is relative to the relationship and the environment. Some people don’t get it and think it’s a weakness or insecurity showing. I think it’s one of my greatest gifts.
I’ll say it again. Change is not overrated. It’s critical to success and anyone that refuses to change will fail or not be able to attain their highest level of happiness. Reinventing oneself consistently doesn’t make someone fake, lame, or manipulative. Granted, all of us have probably been viewed this way by someone else regardless of what we said or did to the contrary. And lastly to reiterate Mr. Greene’s point, don’t let things or people shape you. Shape yourself.
What do you think about the excerpt above? Do you consistently try to figure out how to reinvent yourself? Do you care what others think of you outside of a professional setting, or are you just you across the board no matter who you’re around? How do you define realness and being fake? And as usual, other thoughts are welcome.
Equally as Articulate in Person and Surprisingly Better Looking than Expected,
69 Responses to “Change You Can Believe In: Yourself”
Comments
Read below or add a comment...
Leave A Comment...
RSS & Twitter
-
I’m a dedicated lurker but had to come out and edap on this! THIS right here is the truth! Love your Faith series too.
Great Job Slim
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
July 31st, 2010 at 9:15 am
Late to reply, but thanks for the kind words.
Reply
I used to HATE …ABHOR the thought of change. But I was like 15-17 and it meant NOT being routine and doing different things. And I didn’t like it ONE BIT. But as time passed, I did realize that change was good. A new way of dressing. A new haircut. A new mindset (especially) was good for me. Just molding a new image for myself. I loved it. I embraced it and now I’m 20 and I read a blog I used to have on http://www.xanga.com and I was so embarrassed with the younger me and how she used to think. I wondered how people viewed me. I mean, I don’t regret it because I’m sure it’s a phase I was meant to go through, look back on and shake my head violently at it. But I think change is beautiful. I think it’s a bit boring to do the same thing over and over and over.
On twitter, my name is “RealTalkSuki”. I also used to NOT give a damn what people thought about me so I’d tweet whatever I wanted. But the twitter world closed in around me and it became smaller as more people decided to view what was so real that I had to say. I ended up censoring some of what I say because, as advised by my nagging a$$ older sister, “someone is always watching and if you’re going to be “real” as you say, don’t be real stupid. and watch what the fxck you say.” I do what I can to change for the better. If I find something that I need to do differently, I do what I can to change it.. but only if it’ll make me a better person than I am today. Like the excerpt said, people definitely judge by appearances and words and actions… bleh.
Realness? Being Fake? Well to me, I feel if you’re being real to yourself, you’re being a person that you want to be not because someone else wants you to but because you want that change for yourself. Being fake seems like a light switch kind of personality where you try and convince others that you’re definitely person B (so that they’ll like you more) when you’re in fact still person A no matter how hard you try. There’s a difference between adjusting to your surroundings and being fake. You can adjust to different groups of people (e.g. coworkers, close friends, classmates, professors, business executives, etc) and like I said, there’s temporary pretending to be someone you’re not or cannot be just to please others.
*PHEW* I hope that made sense. It made sense as it bled from my fingers through my laptop keys to this post… which I love by the way. And I love that excerpt Slim J.
Susan (my REAL name) RealTalkSuki is my “slimjackson”
Reply
I like this quote. It speaks to where I am right now. I thinks it time for me to reinvent myself. I’ve been taking small steps and it seems to be helping/working, but it’s not always easy. Another quote I find helpful now that I know changes need to be made is “Any change, even for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomfort.”
I don’t think it makes you fake because you know how to adapt. I’ve always thought that people in different categories know varying degrees of you. You can only show you co-workers so much, your associates a little more, family some more, and a few select friends the absolute you. One thing I think should be shown across the board is being a person of your word and honesty. Of course within reason. If you co-worker asks if you think she’s a ho* you answer in a tactful way. If your homegirl asks the same thing you tell that heiffer “b*tch please you’re the biggest h*e I know”.
Reply
I saw your picture change on twitter from the cartoon baldy to the real thing. I was like HOLAY!!! Slim could get it. That’s all, nothing productive to add at the moment. I’m gone to bed.
Reply
CHeeKZ Money Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 8:38 am
Wow.
Reply
The Honorable and Rather Articulate Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, LLC, Dark as the Night that covers me Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:24 am
Word.
Reply
Guns & Butter Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:45 am
i’ll have to add a “ayyyyyyyyy” (c) Jeezy
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:47 am
LMAO @ Guns
Reply
Little Miss Sunshine Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 11:51 am
can I get a co-sign?
Reply
L. Dejean Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
ROTFLMAO! I definitely tweeted that at Modern Day Matchmaker Live that many panties dropped the moment Slim was introduced cause it got mad loud(if they didn’t drop, they magically disappeared, dead serious)…See, i was NOT lying and this comment proves it!
I just like being right & this comment proved it and gave me a laugh all at the same time! (no offense Andrienne)
Reply
i think that in the same way the world around us changes, we must also need to change.. either change, or get left behind..
i’m not constantly trying to reinvent myself.. just minor tweaks here and there.. i think the biggest change was me trying to crossover (no b-ball) from a tomboy to a woman that just knows how to switch it up.. with that, i’m also trying to become a softer version of myself.. as i have a tendency to “eat em alive” (pause) if i sense the least bit of weakness in my opponent.. (this includes men)
what is “keeping it real?”.. do these same people want me to walk into that work function talkin patois “like mi just come from yahd?” comeonson… it almost seems like a forgone conclusion that because i’m from jamaica, that i’m to act (and speak) a certain way.. i had this argument with 3 ruffians that proceeded to tell me i was “talking like the white man” because i pronounce the “ing” at the end of my words.. really?! that’s what’s hot on the streets?! but i digress..
i think being able to adapt to different environments not only is a great gift, but also shuts up the naysayers that would think that such an environment was out of your league.. and i’m ALWAYS in the mood to shock and prove idiots wrong..
i find that i don’t really stress what others think of me.. don’t get me wrong, i’m not wildly inappropriate in social settings.. i know how to turn on my “tact button”.. which i think is important..
that’s my piece.. *drops mic*..
(i’m fighting the urge to say “sec-chal choclate!”)
Reply
L Boogie Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 7:33 pm
Nice answer….bit of a BOOK but it was nice…lol I kid I kid…life is about reinvention, even if it’s in the slightest…
Reply
Excellent article Slim, thanks.
Here’s one of my favorite quotes that mirrors that idea; “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” G.B. Shaw
I have been playing with the idea of faith lately- as in “stepped out on faith”. It battles with my concept of naivete- is it naive to step out on faith or is it a sign of courage and depth of character?
This relates back to my current reality and close relationship with the powerful force of change- and the joy one receives when creating oneself. I moved to Africa a year ago to start a business with a family member-
I’m 39, happily single, African American and so tired of the corporate grind. My mother is from Africa- I always had that dream of living and working here- the whole romantic “give back” and create positive change instead of pushing papers to and fro in a claustrophobic cubicle.
In Africa I could bring some needed skill sets to the community while living very well (better then I can in the US), create a self designed lifestyle at a more enjoyable pace of life- what could be better? I packed my things up, put the dog on the plane and began a new life, a new me. Of course it took a combo of naivete and faith to get me here- with a strong dose of determination (to keep picking myself up when I fall down) and blessed by a fabulous group of friends cheering me on as I stumble.
Still very much a work in progress and am I confronted on a daily basis with issues of identity- not mine, rather how I am perceived here and how other people think that might limit or expand my ability to succeed-
I remain myself in the face of it, adapting in ways that benefit my growth- rather then someone else’s comfort level or convenience.
All this to say, I heartily embrace change, I’m attracted to people who define themselves and I am determined to live my life as one of them.
Go well…
j
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:45 am
I like that quote you threw into the mix. That’s definitely a great way to look at it.
As far as the idea of stepping out of faith, I’d be curious to know a little bit more about what you mean by that.
Reply
jabulilesaysso Reply:
June 25th, 2010 at 11:55 am
hmmmmn, I’m curious too!
I’ll let you know when I’ve pondered it enough to be coherent- was a bit of a tangent I went on huh?
j
Reply
and this is why I need to stick to these workouts and diet.
Being a big dude is not setting out the right image to these VPs.
I’ve notice that all the promotions keep going to fit dudes who like to play golf and talk Mets baseball. Non threatening with tatoos with no kids out of wedlock.
Reply
*clap clap bravo*
This is a great post Slim. You’ve been a been introspective and inspirational on me here lately and I can’t say that I don’t like it. I think it’s a good look. Change is necessary. Period. The foundations of yourself, of your character are the things least likely to change (not that they can’t)… most people just fix up the ‘building’ a little here and there; also good for business.
& I’ve been meaning to read that book. I’m gonna have to move it to the top of my queue.
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:47 am
I actually wanna go through the whole book myself when I have some time. I got like 4 things I’m trying to read right now and not making much progress on any of them.lol.
Reply
I think we (humans) should be constantly evolving. If you’re evolving/changing…that demonstrates growth in my eyes (under most circumstances)
Reply
I really like this post. It makes a lot of sense to me. I wouldn’t mind changing a bit to see how it benefits me. I think I will try it out. Now I will let ya know I am consistently me, but how many people really know who you really are? Some think I am super sweet, others think I’m pretty mean (dun dun duuuun..hey darling *inside joke*). Those that think I’m mean, grew up with me when I was lil harsh (with all good reason…I was usually protecting/taking up for a “friend”)…but I learned a long time ago to let go of all that. So now I’m just kinda nice, sometimes too nice. Those that like to take advantage though usually see me turn a 180 and bring out that old side and they are shocked. Thus, deeming me as being fake from jump which is obviously ridiculous. Yes “real recognizes real” but I recognize BS, so ppl need not try and pull it. I digress. Back to smiling and sounding like and being one of the sweetest ppl you’ll ever meet in you life.
Oh yeah, keep doing you Slim, and adapting to whatever the environment calls for. You are not fake, and those who don’t understand clearly are incapable of doing the same, know that. It’s a gift that affords you/me/anyone else with sense to excel and be comfortable wherever you go AND who doesn’t want that??? I mean really…
Reply
Oh, and I don’t think adapting to your environment is fake.
*in Michael Jackson’s voice* That’s just ingnorant
I mean really, different environments require you to “turn on” different aspects of your personality. As long as your motive behind the communication is genuine…it can’t be deemed fake. I will not speak w/ the vice prinicpal of the school in the same way I talk to the students at my program. Doesn’t mean I’m in less sincere…the situations just call for me to wear different hats.
I can say the same thing w/ my social circles. If I’m hanging out with my athletic friends…then that side of me will come through more. If I’m with my music peoples…then that’s what emerges. It’s still me in any situation.
Besides…folk who can’t adapt to various situations or refuse to…usually look quite silly and probably have a shit load of problems. Just my opinion.
Reply
Bravo. Great post.
The simple-minded will read this post and equate the phrase “re-invent yourself” with “become a new person.” I think underlying the quote and your post, in my mind, is the idea of being true to who you are without losing the essence of what makes you you for the sake saying “I’ve changed” or “I’ve reinvented myself.”. While I agree that too much consistency can be OD, to constantly switch things up with no continuity between selves, if you will, makes you fake and little crazy.
Thank said y’all know how I loves me some change.
Reply
Miss Jenkins Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:37 am
That* said. Commenting from the phone…
Reply
Guns & Butter Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 10:10 am
damnit.. i just wrote this dope response just to peek up and see Miss Jenkins essentially said EXACTLY what I was gonna say. Thanks Tiff… u stole my thunder.
Reply
The Honorable and Rather Articulate Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, LLC, Dark as the Night that covers me Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 10:26 am
She does that alot.
Reply
Miss Jenkins Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 5:25 pm
Eff off.
Reply
“every other day my whole dress code switch” Cappadonna……For most gemini, its not even a question LLS!!!!!
Reply
Orange Star Happy Hunting Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:50 am
and for Miss Jenkins, its very true to our essence and what we feel in that moment/day etc….
Reply
When you stop changing, you die.
…And I mean that in every sense.
No one needs to act like Kaiser Soze, but a gradual change is what makes us all better people. Most of us think that once we graduate from college or turn 25/30 or whatever milestone we have in mind, that it’s all a wrap. It’s just beginning. I’d hate it if I was still the same 21 year old greenhorn that I was several years ago.
As far as that quote goes, well, I’m in the process of doing just that. I’m at a new gig. I’m learning from the mistakes I made at my last job and making sure I don’t repeat them. At least the ones that weren’t that fun. I’m doing the same thing in my personal life as well. To some extent.
I would be doing myself a disservice if I didn’t evolve.
Reply
L. Dejean Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 5:41 pm
“When you stop changing, you die.”
Co-sign to the 100th power on this comment but especially the quote!
Reply
“Do you consistently try to figure out how to reinvent yourself?”
Yes, Like LaBakir said upthread reinvention is just another form of evolution and evolution keeps a person or people ready to adapt to their situations#no fist pump.
You don’t have to reinvent your wheel every year, but you can upgrade it from stone to wood to rubber, to radials. Whether you reinvent your wheel or not the road is going to change regardless of your actions so why not be prepared for what’s coming.
Reply
Evolution makes the world go ’round. When you stop changing, stop evolving, you stop growing, and you should never stop growing as a person.
I detest people who use “keeping it real” as an excuse not to evolve. At 29, you shouldn’t be the exact same person you were at 21.
Good post, Slim.
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 10:30 am
I often find that the keep it real folks are usually the ones that have a lot to say about everybody else but their own life is partially if not completely a mess. It’s like oil and water when I’m around these type of people.
Reply
Guns & Butter Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 10:36 am
“At 29, you shouldn’t be the exact same person you were at 21.”
8 Years is a long time. I mean, at 18 you shouldn’t be the same person you were at 10. My question is, what exactly do you think should change?
Is it that at 29 you have to dress more “grown” and you can’t drink 40′s anymore?
The only things I can think of are trivial things such as the way you dress, types of parties you go to, etc. None of those things REALLY matter that much to my personal sense of self.
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 10:39 am
You make a good point with that question. I know that my level of silliness hasn’t changed.lol. Looking forward to her response.
Reply
N.I.A. naturally Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 12:09 pm
When I wrote that, I didn’t mean change the totality of you as a person. In fact, I think you, as well as others, are too caught on the word “change”, so let’s just say “evolve” instead. Now, when I look back on my undergrad self, I am still the same basic person. Loyal, loving, stubborn, headstrong, introvert who plays an extrovert on t.v. However, those traits have evolved, and how I deal with people has evolved.
How, how I deal with all types of relationships has changed since that time in me life. My thinking about emotional, psychological, and physical health has changed. My views on sex have changed. I have evolved as a person. I still like cartoons, though. lol.
Reply
Guns & Butter Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
ok ok.. i see what the difference is. I reacted to Slim’s idea of reinventing oneself and change as being a departure from who you may be in some instances (which lead to him saying how ppl think you’re fake because of it, etc).
I guess it’s semantics (i’m guilty of often getting caught up in that if not clarified)… but to me adapt, evolve, reinvent, change all mean different things, especially in this context.
And I’m not sure anything is going to stop me from liking cartoons.. as well as video games. (though i’m not the gamer i used to be…)
Reply
N.I.A. naturally Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
And I used ages 21 and 29 because we’re adults during this time. 10 to 18 doesn’t really go with that idea… But I get what you were trying to do there.
Reply
LaBakir Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 10:43 am
@Guns & Butter
I didn’t think of the trivial things when I read N.I.A’s post. I was thinking more along the lines of spirituality, your interactions and how you treat people, how you respond to situations in life.
Reply
Guns & Butter Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 11:00 am
Okay, so here’s my issue with using the word “change”. Concerning those attributes you listed, if assumes that ppl aren’t good at those things when they’re younger. I don’t want to change how I treat ppl or how I respond to situations because I’ve always felt I had a good outlook on life. I’ve always had a strong sense of self. I may want to enhance certain things here and there, but those aren’t necessarily things ppl should “change” unless you’re completely void of spirituality, you’re an asshole who treats ppl like shit, and you can’t handle any of life’s curveballs without having a major breakdown.
But for ppl who are a lil more to the center, are you suggesting a CHANGE or more of an enhancement of good characteristics?
Reply
LaBakir Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 11:13 am
I understand what you mean about using the word “change”. And no, it’s not interchangeable w/ the idea of enchancing good characteristics.
If you have a good “grasp” on particular areas of your life, there’s definitely not a need for an overhaul…lol. We are constantly learning (hopefully,lol) and experiencing new things. So not to say that you “change” the way you treat people…but maybe you learned a lesson where you were taking advantage of…so now you’re more aware.
Goodness I hope I’m conveying my thoughts properly…lol
Reply
Guns & Butter Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 11:25 am
I understand what you’re saying. I’m more or less feeling like I haven’t really changed the essence of me, or my mindset… certain things might have changed (maybe more toward the negative side)… but I think more emphasis should be put on ppl trying to IMPROVE themselves, rather than CHANGE themselves.
Reply
LaBakir Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 11:29 am
I agree. CHANGE gives the connotation of aspiring to be something you really aren’t.
IMPROVE…I can dig it.
Reply
CHeeKZ Money Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 11:09 am
though I may respond a little better in relationships and handling my bizness for the most part spiritually I’m still the same negro with the same principles. I am better at applying them… but I was a smart 18 year old and so was Words and Seattle.
I’m sorry but I see no advantage of being 27. I would rather go back to being 17 with a few minor changes (if you count going to class and working out as a minor changes).
I’m not saying you don’t get smarter. To don’t learn or even change reactions. But to be honest, I am only doing those things in order to live up to the ideal I set back in the day.
Reply
Guns & Butter Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 11:26 am
yo son.. i was thinking about that the other day… how we were when we were 18 and how we had crazy foresight and advanced ideas…
Reply
you’re right. change is often necessary. i’m such a different person than i was say 2 years ago and based on my outlook on life and attitude i’m a completely different person than i was 5 years ago.
what’s ironic is that the friends or people that are closest to you, sometimes have the biggest issues when you change things about yourself.
“There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction” ~Winston Churchill
Reply
olivya23 Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 11:34 am
“what’s ironic is that the friends or people that are closest to you, sometimes have the biggest issues when you change things about yourself.”
100% cosign. I think it’s just insecurity on their part.
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 11:37 am
I’ma have to go ahead and co-sign this as well. Word up yo.
Reply
Lola Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 1:18 pm
100% co-sign on this. Right on the $.
Reply
L. Dejean Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 5:39 pm
what everyone else said! #cosign!
Reply
If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive. — Audre Lorde
One of my favorite quotes, and very apropos for today’s topic.
Reply
I don’t think that changing and being true to yourself have to be separate. I kind of thing of it as making a gumbo… I know in the end I want a gumbo but I’m constantly adding and modifying things to get the type of gumbo I need.
I think change is good and i brings us towards realizing new things we hadn’t considered before. I always thought I hated crawfish until I had some. Now i’m obsessed. Change is good.
Reply
Great post & I saw your new “avatar” on twitter.
Change can be a good thing. I believe you have to change to be better sometimes. Change within a relationship can help your relationship grow……but it has to be beneficial for both parties.
Now, it is impt what people think about you as far as professional opinions or even sometimes day to day relationships. However, it doesn’t rule how I view myself. The way I see it, is that people are ALWAYS going to have an opinion about your life, your relationship, your job….you cant live to please people.
Honestly it doesn’t matter really so much what people think about you, its about how you view yourself. Only then will you find happiness!!!!
Reply
Inspirational post Slim.
The world we live in constantly changes and adapts. In order for us to be able to adapt to it we have to change. Change is an inevitable thing. We have to change. As we grow older we change either drastically, consciously or subconsciously, but we change.
Who I was last year is not who I am this year. Who I was 6 months ago is definitely who I am not now. That was a conscious change, because I wanted to, not because I was told to. When you take a step back and look into the world outside of yourself you see the need to change and to become better. Once you step back inside it it’s up to you to put in practice what you’ve seen and learned.
Unfortunately, many a times when we change, for good, and the people surrounding us, whether family or friends, see this change and not understand it they think that we’re trying to change to be “better” than them. That is when you severe ties with them and go your own route, to your path. You can’t let a stagnant individual make your life or try to make yours as stagnant as theirs.
To be stagnant is to be dead. You have to keep moving, you have keep changing in order to stay alive.
Reply
Excellent!
I would suggest reading “48 Laws of Power”. Reinvent yourself is one of the laws and it breaks down every facet of human interaction, and how your mastery of those interaction wil;l help you succeed in the end. The bexamples throughout time are excellent!
I wanted to check the 50th Law too. Curtis Jackson applied those laws exquisitely!
Reinvention is necessary. Once you start predicting your own moves, its time for a change.
Reply
Stacy Australia Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Thanks so much for the book suggestion. I had just put a blast on my facebook about another good book to read (I just finished 4 in 2 weeks)
Reply
I think my life is a constant process of changing and refining.
I definitely have holy trinity of faults – laziness, complacency, fearfulness – that I am always working on eradicating. They’re pretty intrinsic parts of the way I approach life so to rid myself of them completely would be a huge change for me. Not that it’s likely to happen.
I’m pretty good at adapting myself to fit every situation; but as of late I’ve been lazy about it. In my twenties I was very much into giving everyone the version of Max they wanted; as I transitioned into my thirties I became more of a “everyone is getting the real me raw dog” kind of a person. Now I’m working on finding a middle ground between the two.
Not sure if that has anything to do with what the post was about; but that’s what came to mind as I read it. Either way, this was a great post Slim.
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
This does relate to the post. I think the point you’re at now is where a lot of us are. I’m in a new city, with a new job, and the church I used to go to is very inconveniently located. I have a lot of new challenges and decisions to make that will cause me to more or less reinvent, improve, change, etc.
Much trial and error.
Reply
I am going through a metamophosis in my life now. I am moving to another city/state (Charlotte, NC) and I have people ask “Why are you moving there.” I have to restrain myself from cursing them out because first and foremost I am not from the city I currently live in (Rock Hill, SC) I only went to college here and I stayed after I graduated (5 years ago). So I don’t have any ties or obligations here so it amazes me when people bascially get offended when I say I’m moving to Charlotte. Keep in mind Charlotte is only 30 minutes up the interstate.
Then I have a homegirl who was grinding with me throughout graduate school and our b.s. job we had while in graduate school. Before we graduated she had a job lined up. Well I am moreso in chill mode. I feel as if I bust my ass from 2001 up until now with undergraduate, “professional” life, graduate school, working 2 and 3 jobs etc to get to ths point. So she looks at me crazy because I am not iat have ton a rush to get a “real” job. I love here dearly but she is one of the ones that have to have someone tell her what to do and how to do it-she doesn’t take risk and step outside of the box. Even though I have my masters degree in Social Work, I knew I never wanted to do “traditional” social work. So while she works her 9-5 with benefits I am still at the group home working because I want to focus on other stuff. Yeah, she judge me everyday and have taken on the task of “finding me a job”. I am chilling and trying to take time out to really be me and not do what everybody else want. I am finally being true to myself. I want to be a published author. So since I no longer have to grind so hard for school, work, internship, etc- I have that time to focus on my writing and regardless of what “others” think or what “society” expect- if think works out with my writing, my Masters may never get put to use. Oh well, thats on my right, I am going to be the one paying my student loans- not them.
Reply
Stacy Australia Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Typos sorry: “So she looks at me crazy because I am not in a rush to get a “real” job.”
“if things not thinks works out with my writing…”
Sorry my computer does funny things while I am typing
Reply
The quote you provided says alot and makes me think about my former boss (who was recently laid off). It totally describes her. She would come in w/ borderline inappropriate outfits, had attitude, would catch hell – and she’d be like f-it – this is me. I’ll just get bigger and bolder with it. Yeah. Definitely not the move. It only made the scrutiny and assumptions about her worse. Once she got put into the box of being difficult and resistant to change – there was no way out. It is more than just inflexibility to “change”, but a refusal to even acknowledge that maybe, just maybe all these people aren’t out to get you. Or mold you into someone else. Maybe you need to do some soul searching and be honest with yourself.
Reply
S0_Flyy Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 4:23 pm
AMEN!! Omg. This!! Stole the words right out of my mouth. I had a co-worker/associate who is just like this. She was so resistant to change and was such an extrovert and an “in your face” type person she was determined to make others see things her way. I couldn’t even tell her the MAN really wasn’t out to get her b/c she was convinced they’d already gotten to me. After all, she was from the hardened streets of DC and we here in the stix just didn’t know how to do things in a big time corporation. O_o
I wanted to stop associating w/ her b/c I didn’t want my attached to that black woman being difficult tag since there are only 3 of us in the office. However, I think people finally started to realize how different we are. She transferred to another office so she’s somebody else headache now.
Reply
Um, Slim, your hands are large. *grin*
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 4:44 pm
That’s not my hand up there. My hands are big though.
Reply
S0_Flyy Reply:
June 25th, 2010 at 8:47 am
Lol. So I wasn’t the only one who thought that… good.
Reply
This was a great post & it was the truth. Change is rather necessary & the ability to adapt is essential. I used to move around when i was younger because of my parent’s divorce (mom, sister & I went to GA & moved around there and in NY) and i didn’t want to be the obviously different one in the group of my peers.
You don’t have to completely change who you are but there are always improvements that you can make to take yourself one step closer to where you can go/want to be in life. The objective should be to work towards becoming better (a better person, in your career, school, etc).
Realest words ever written: “Change is not overrated. It’s critical to success and anyone that refuses to change will fail or not be able to attain their highest level of happiness. Reinventing oneself consistently doesn’t make someone fake, lame, or manipulative.”
Great post again!
Reply
You just can’t waste time. Every day brings 14,400 new seconds. Once one is going, it’s going for good.
Reply
People do what you tell them to so if you’re going to have a public voice, say something impactful. A person’s perception of your actions is important. How you impact their thought process is what commits you to memory.
Reply