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Chicken and Weaves
I figured I’d piggyback (weeeee) off of Sowhatiff’s post yesterday on Things You Shouldn’t Say to Black People. I spent a lot of time figuring out what to title this, and Chicken and Weaves was the best I could come up with. I’m sorry. That aside, there are things that shouldn’t be said to us and things that make people say these things anyway. A special shout out to the media once again for promoting our love of chicken and the mystique of a Black woman’s hair even if it’s not her own.
Gimme Ma McNuggets or Gimme Ma Damn Money!
I’m sure by now most of you have heard about the Black woman in Florida who called 911 3 times because she ordered her some McNuggets from McDonalds and found out they ran out. In her defense, she called 911 because she claimed they took her money and tried to force her to order something else off the menu instead of giving her back the $3.49 that she rightfully deserved. The 911 call has been released via multiple media outlets. Quite honestly, I was just as embarrassed as she probably was when I first saw this. I laughed at first, and then that laughter turned into pain. If you haven’t heard the 911 calls, here ya go.
Somebody somewhere definitely said “I guess they do love them some chicken.” *sigh* Yes, I guess we do. Enjoy this one McDonalds Inc. It’s the cheapest advertising you’ll ever get.
The Mega Weave
This story is a little bit dated, but equally as relevant even though it had a McFlurry happy ending. If you haven’t heard the story of the Black woman that avoided being shot in the head due to her bullet proof weave, then you need to wake up and smell the burnt Starbucks coffee. For those unaware, the woman told her ex hubbykins that she didn’t love him and didn’t wanna see him anymore. So what does he do? He tries to get at her with the burner. He took a shot at her and the bullet managed to get stuck in her Teflon weave. The police even said that the woman’s “tightly-woven weave” most likely saved her life. Now I’m definitely glad that she lived, but sh*t! This story reinforced the stereotype that we like guns and the value of weave in a Strong and Lucky Black Woman’s Life. This story also showed that she really needed to leave Ray-Ray’s broke ass alone.
But yeah, it’s Friday. Gotta keep things light. What does everybody out there think of these stories? Let’s sip this drank and have a light conversation.
Wrapping It Up¹,
¹Pause
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***hangs head in shame*****
The stories embarrass me. For the rest of the day, I’m joining Team Asian.
lol
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I’m so co-signing what Nicki said… SMH…
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I mean what can be said about these two stories? I laughed as well at the first when I heard them. I just chalked the chicken story up to ignorance and all I could do was shake my head at the weave story. I already wasn’t a fan of weave in the first place and this just added to my disdain for them. Oh well.
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wow…lol
couldn’t you go to jail for calling 911 for a non-emergency? this lady called 3 times! like really… i guess i should be glad she didn’t flip out on the cashier and get arrested her self. that would have been a damn shame.
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Slim I know its not a black story. But you aint going to tell them about the McDonald story? It will make black people feel better about themselves.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 6th, 2009 at 11:13 am
I can’t tell that story yet.lol. I was actually tryna verify the accuracy of the video to see if it was staged.
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Cheekie Reply:
March 6th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Wait…what? *needs to hear this*
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Having the unfortunate experience of trying to get a refund from McDonalds, I can feel the first sister’s frustration. But calling 911? See, that’s why we need to lobby for better educational dollars, so more people know how to pull out the corporate speak and watch the cashier’s eyes glaze over. That’s what I did.
As for the weave, I mean, how many packs did she have on her head? I used to rock some extensions back in the day, and best believe none of them would have stopped a bullet. While my cultural spider senses are tingling because of the reactions going off over in mainstream Amurrica, the scientist in me is marvelling at the engineering feat that was attached to her scalp.
However, due to the embarrassment caused by both of these young ladies, I’m joining team Latina.
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Haha! My 2520 coworker sent me the link to the McNugget story. And please believe, I was SMDH inside because it happened to be chicken. Then I made myself feel a little better because she didn’t then go and order the McChicken or the Crispy Chicken sammich.
I was crackin’ up when the 911 operator was like, “Did you speak to the manager” and the McNugget Lady was like, “She ARE the manager”. LMAO and SMH simultaneously. But overreaction aside, she should’ve gotten her money, though. How are they gonna MAKE you get something just because they’re too slow to figure out how to refund money on their cash registers?
And the bullet proof weave? Those Korean hair shops on the low end of the city are gonna be exploding! The FBI needs to get on that, STAT!
I have a taste for McNuggets now…
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
March 6th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
I also have a craving for McNuggets…and anything else with high salt & greeez content- HELP!
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RightCoastLexSteele, Your Girlfriend's Guilty Pleasure Reply:
March 6th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Girl you got a 10 piece, don’t be stingyyyyyyyyyy
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
March 6th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Your treat e-boo!!!???
Don’t forget the honey…
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and1grad Reply:
March 6th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Thats exactly what I’m thinking. She prob wasnt gonna share em anyway.
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Cheekie Reply:
March 6th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
“Girl you got a 10 piece, don’t be stingyyyyyyyyyy”
No…you…didn’t.
HAHAHAHA! I’m about dead, now, thanks RCLS.
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I am just mad the police actually went to the scene…like really? You don’t have anything better to do then to visit someone who thinks she needs 911 to help her get $3.00 back? They must have been bored that day.
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I feel so sorry for this lady. She’s clearly been having a stupid moment her whole life. HOWEVER…I’m with her! Gimme my money! How they gonna sell her something they don’t have? I’ma need you to check your inventory before you sell me those delicious chicken tokens. It’s not like she was pissed they didn’t have them! She just wanted her money back. You’re telling me one of the top corporations in the world doesn’t have the ability to instantly refund $3.49? Mickey D’s should be shamed…as should our homegirl, Chicken Little.
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While I couldn’t watch the video just yet because of my current secured work enviroment … I feel the McNugget woman. Look at it this way … they stole her money and instead of someone dying? she actually called the authorities.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 6th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
lol @ her saving a life.
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Bottom line is, the restaurant took her money and wouldn’t give it back. She was right, they were wrong, and the newsies spinning it as her just wanting the mcnuggets so bad was dishonest and sensationalist.
She should have called the cops’ non-emergency number, and sworn out a complaint.
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