Church? I’d Rather Sleep.
I don’t like going to Church. Persecute me now.
I woke up yesterday morning as I have on many Sunday mornings and did the social media sites and instant messenger thing. Nothin’ but status updates about people bein’ hungover and/or people goin’ to Church. I’ve got friends who I don’t even need to ask what they’re doin’ on Sunday morning (or even Saturday for a select few). I know that as I’m rolling around like a vampire tryna fight the daylight, that they’re up hummin’ some tune and getting dressed to go get their worship on. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I just don’t necessarily think it’s for me nowadays.
Throughout my life, I’ve had periods and instances where I’ve went to church semi-regularly. There was a stretch 2 years ago where I went to Church almost every Sunday for a few months. I’d wake up, throw on some slacks and a decent shirt, then head off to find myself a decent seat in the back. I really didn’t want people noticing I was there, and I didn’t wanna be the guy to get called on for anything. It kinda reminded me of what I used to do in all my large college classes. Slim was never a front row type of guy…unless the teacher was hot…which wasn’t very often.
At the time, I went to Church for a few reasons. I had a lot of stuff goin’ on in my life and with my family. I was lookin’ for answers. I was determined to become a better person. I wanted to feel like at least once a week I was doing sumthin’ that was really gonna change my life. It felt good to drop some predetermined dollar amount in a basket that was equivalent to what I’d spend on a premium drink at the club or a box of lambskin condoms. It was great to see people rejoicin’ and excited about sumthin’, especially since emotions are contagious. It was great to even have a few casual sit downs with the Pastor outside of Church and just talk about what was happenin’ in my life. Then I moved. Then I stopped going to Church. That was the end of that.
I haven’t been back consistently since. I don’t even say my prayers every night. Some of you are probably sayin’ “Slim needs him some Jesus!” You’re probably right. However, at this point in my life I really don’t feel as if waking up and goin’ to Church every Sunday is gonna be the game changer for me. The last few times I’ve been to Church since fallin’ off a couple years ago have been for extremely unpleasant reasons. And even during the stretch that I was attending Church regularly, I found myself forced to think about things I thought I’d purged from my mind. On some Sundays, I left more discouraged than before I stepped in the door.
Now I don’t say all of this to imply that I’ll never go to a Church again unless someone dies or someone’s gettin’ married. I say all of this because an interesting point of discussion came to mind yesterday. With all this talk about the ideal family or lack thereof and individual relationship criteria, how much does Church play a role in that? I know women who said they couldn’t date a man who isn’t “God fearing”. I know women who wouldn’t be allowed to date and marry a man if he didn’t go to Church every week or convert to the same faith as her family. Sounds extreme, but it definitely still happens.
When I did go regularly every week, I saw a lot of couples and families. I also saw a lot of single mothers and single men like myself. I always wondered how much of a role does attendance at Church play in these relationships and family dynamics. As I’ve been told, bein’ spiritual and bein’ religious are 2 completely different things. I feel as if I can be a “spiritual” person without puttin’ on a suit every Sunday and kneeling every night. If I were to do each of these things just for the sake of tradition, then I guess I’d be more “religious”.
So I’m curious. Can people consider a serious relationship or friendship with someone who doesn’t go to Church or practice the same spiritual stuff as you? Does any of this even matter in the context of finding that special somebody or having a productive and successful family? Since a lot of you were singing and clapping your hands yesterday or rolling around with a pillow over your head, let’s talk about it.
Faithfully,
86 Responses to “Church? I’d Rather Sleep.”
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lol only Slim. I’m spiritual so I would definitely date a guy that doesn’t go to church on the regular. In fact I don’t really care to date anyone who is “religious”. I’ve found it to be a tad annoying. But, this could be because i’m a P.K.
I think if you’re religious you would probablly marry/get serious with someone who is also b\c God says don’t be unequally yoked with the unbeliever lol j\k (well it’s in the Bible somewhere… haven’t been to sunday school in about 7 years). It will avoid alot of problems. The nagging about going to church with your significant other once in a while, your s.o’s Bible study and prayer meetings, the summary of sermons your boo will give you after church, differences on how to raise hte kids etc… gets old after while. Also, if your family is religious and he\she isn’t it can make things strange\awkward.
You can be a good person without being a regular church\mosque\temple goer. However, I wouldn’t date an atheist. He’s got to believe in a higher power and respect other peoples beliefs.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Maybe I’m just slow this morning, but what’s a P.K.?
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JG* Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 10:33 am
Preacher’s Kid
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Reign Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
OOhhh okay cause I was lost too
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Religion is such an intensely personal aspect of a person that I could never rule someone out for their choice or lack of a church or religious org. As far as going to church myself, I grew up pretty intensely religious. I was one of those few you mentioned that went to church on Saturday. The level of hypocrisy and ugliness I found within the church was a turn off, but at the end of the day, it isn’t what stops me from going back. People are people whether they are in church or out of it. I just hate the thought of having my spirituality constrained by the interpretations of fallible people.
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I used to make the same argument about “spiritual” versus “religious” and I had a darn good argument for it, too. But someone explained it to me in a way that changed my theories forever. They says:
Spirituality is like the Sun (Son, sun, get it). You can pray and believe and hope in God, but if you don’t have water, you’ll just burn up. Going to church/reading the Bible (the latter can be a struggle for me also) provides us with the water/nutrients we need to balance out the sunlight, and help us grow in a healthy and positive way. Because regardless, there WILL be some dirt. And without religion AND spirituality, we won’t “rise above it”. We’ll either burn up or drown out. No good.
SO while I think it’s important to have a relationship with God, it’s also important to learn more about God and hear His word on a daily/weekly basis. If you weren’t getting fulfillment from going to church, you were probably in the wrong place. There are churches that I could NOT attend every week. There are churches I don’t want to stop foot in again. But there are some that bring me closer to God every time I walk through the doors. Some that seem to deliver the messages I needed to hear at that very moment in my life, and I know if I hadn’t been at that place at that time, I would have missed a word from God. I bet if you (anyone) were to pray to have God lead you to a church where you feel fulfilled and you’re excited to go and meet him every Sunday, He would lead you to it, and it would make all the difference in the world. It did for me.
I think the problem is that people don’t WANT to ask God for that. Most people are perfectly content with NOT enhancing their relationship with Him. Because that might – scratch that – WILL require some major changes that most people just aren’t willing to make. And I’m not talking about drinking and sex and drugs – though that might be the case, depending on the person. Most people think you have to be perfect to be religious, but that’s actually OPPOSITE of what God wants. If we were perfect, we wouldn’t need God anymore…
What I’m talking about is a change of heart. Giving your heart to God and relinquishing the power from all the things you love that are of this earth. It’s not an easy task. And most people – myself included – would prefer temporary gratification over life-long abundance. It is what is is.
As far as dating goes, that part is simple. I love Jesus. He’s like my boyfriend/father/lover/friend/brother/mother/whatever. I love Him so much that in order for me to love anyone else, I’d have to take just a little bit of my love for Him and put it onto them. So in turn, my boo would have to give Jesus the rest of his love in order to compensate for what God lost from me. It’s the associative property of addition.
Pride is dangerous. Cuidate mi amor.
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JG* Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Very well said, and I agree!
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I was raised Baptist but can’t say I ever *really* bought any of it. I can understand why my parents wanted a religious upbringing for me, but now as an adult I just don’t need it. Since I don’t belive in… well, anything really, the last thing I’m going to do is chase after somebody who does. Even if they never told me about what kind of hell I’m going to burn in (or worse, what awful thing I’ll get reincarnated as) after I die, I know they would still believe it, so I can’t see how we could ever take each other seriously.
Even if both people are religious it can still get weird. Once my sister (still quite baptist) was dating this catholic guy, they got in a fight once and he threw holy water at her (What??) They weren’t together much longer after that. If you’re planning for things like marriage and especially children, I think it is important that you find someone with a belief system compatible with yours, at the very least that will give you one less thing to argue about.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 10:28 am
Almost spit out my cereal @ “he threw holy water at her”. Reckless. How’d they meet in the first place?
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Anita Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
I dunno, school maybe? I am pretty sure the holy water thing was less to do with the fact he was Catholic and more to do with the fact that he was Crazy. Most Catholic people probably know that is not what it’s for…
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Haven’t read the comments yet, so this is just my thoughts.
I’m in the “can’t date him if he’s not Christian and at least trying/willing to participate like I do” There’s a lot of reasons for this. My thoughts and way of living are determined by my religion. If we have kids, I want to raise my family in the way that MY faith says to, and I want my marriage to rely on those teachings because I believe they work. I need my husband on board with that. I need him to support me and my church activities and I support his as well. I feel like a lot of problems, and woes, and issues can be resolved with the Bible, our understanding of it, and our obedience to it’s teachings. I’m not a bling follower either. I have been skeptical of Churches before and I’ve been turned off by certain ideologies that I’ve heard thrown around regarding my faith, but I just learned to dig deeper and trust in different things to find the right church home for me. Now that I have, things are much more clearer and my understanding is better so that when I have to move, I’ll be better equipped to find another home, and continue learning.
To me the thing about being “Spiritual” vs. “Religious” is not that real to me. Most of the people I know who say they are “spiritual” are really just people who don’t want to say they are Atheist because they either don’t want to say they don’t go to church, or they do believe in God but just don’t want to do all the work. But at the end of the day, they don’t do anything “spiritual” either. If it’s organized religion they are against, I’ve never seen them read the Bible, Torah, Qu’ran on their own. While it’s a personal thing, I’ve never seen/heard of them giving 10% of their time, charity, or money to God in any way. So with the being Spiritual thing I almost raise an eyebrow. Not that this applies to all, but just from my observation.
JG*
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JG* Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 10:18 am
Let me also add to this, that my observations of the “spiritual” friends are of very close friends. So while I recognize it’s a personal thing in talking with them, and their own admissions, they are not actively seeking or participating in anything to bring them closer to their spirituality. Whether that be praying, meditating, or reading a selected literature.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Hey JG, I have to respectfully disagree with you discrediting the term “Spiritual”. Since I’ve left high school, I haven’t been big on church or organized religion, but I’ve maintained my belief in a higher power and overall altruism.
I’ve read the Bible, parts of the Qu’ran, investigated Buddhism, Five Percenters, Hinduism and just read about Christianity in general. While I respect religion, church and following a doctrine, it’s not for me at this point. It could change in another five years.
No disrespect, I’ve just seen a lot of fallacies when it comes to organized religion. Racist/biased Catholic monks and priests, whores who claim to be saved but were getting wrecked three ways to Sunday (literally) and people that take the Lord’s name to do their dirt.
With all that in my mind, I’ll just have my own personal relationship with God and remain spiritual.
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JG* Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Well I also said that it was based on my observation of those who claim that status. And that in *those* cases, they did not do the things that you listed as doing. In your case, I can understand your spirituality. Like someone said above, even religious people need to understand being “spiritual”
Also, just like in life there are a lot of messed up people in church. Even more of a reason to be there. But again, you really have to sift through the BS to find the good stuff. I blog about a lot of stuff, that I don’t particularly practice in anymore, and it may seem hypocritical, but I’m also a work in progress. But I found a home that’s real and addresses alot of the issues in organized religion today. And that’s helped me to be more comfortable with it.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:02 am
Not hypocritical. Good to see someone who recognizes what they want and goes after it. Good luck with your journey homie. We’re all growing when it comes to this subject.
… And that’s my good deed/nice comment for the day.
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Reign Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:05 am
Seattle, I agree with you wholeheartedly… I was going to continue but I don’t want to open a can of worms!!
If people really want to understand Christianity/Catholicism and the bible, learn Classical Hebrew and Aramaic. It’s amazing how translations into other languages can change the root meanings of stories and even names. We all need to get a greater understanding, even us spiritual beings.
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I have many blasphemous friends and I have been with a few men who don’t know the lord as their savior. I mean it’s cool, I like to learn about different religions and all that because we all worship the same God in my opinion.
I was raised in the church, seventh day Pentecostal, and boy did that teach me patience. We were there from dawn till dusk seemed like. I enjoyed the fellowship, lunch time, and the custom-made dresses that would get sent from Jamaica for me. But in my adult years I choose not to attend church, especially when I see pics on FB of the preacher’s daughter all drunk with T&A hanging all out in the club. I may reconsider joining the church again when I have a family of my own.
Until then I’ll serve God from my couch.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 10:47 am
I’m def a fan of occasionally visiting Bedside Baptist and the AMC (African Methodist Couch) Church. I guess that’s obvious from my post though.
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I was that chick at church 5 days out of the week. In every youth ministry and representing the youth on the church counsel. But I also had questions about contradictions in the Bible and rituals that we’d say every Sunday and noone would answer me with a real answer if at all. So I went off to college, kept going to church for a bit but I started studying. I studied differenct religions and spiritual systems, I studied religions on the basis of world history to see if what this book is really saying is plausible. It was a personal decision to no longer consider myself religious or a christian.
Now with all that said I still go to church once or twice a month. I consider myself spiritual, I’ve never lost my personal relationship with God AND Jesus. Through out my search to find what I needed for me I talked and listened to what God had in store for me. And to me that’s what matters, having a personal relationship with God. Going to church and quoting the bible isn’t going to get it for everybody. Religion isn’t either. I go to church mostly for the music and to see what lesson the pastor has in store. The church I attend now is nondenominational and multinational. Majority of the pastoral staff is 2520(think that’s what yall call it) but they are animated and they are really applying the word to real life situations like I’d never experienced before. I’m comforatble there.
I can honestly say that I would not date a really religious man. I can date a Christian, I am now and have mostly, but I need someone that understands my spritual beleifs. Most are okay because I do still believe in God and that Christ died for my sins (took me a long time with that one). Me and dude go to church together maybe once a month. He’s not a die hard Christian but we can talk and encourage each other through our faith. That’s what relationships need.
I am a woman of facts. Faith is an everyday prayer. But my God understands. So just do whats most comfortable for you but above all have that relationship. My five cents.
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JG* Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:01 am
And here again I understand what you’re saying. I was raised in the church as well, went back and forth throughout college and now I’m very steady. Part of the reason I was so back n forth in college was due to laziness, then that evolved into being skeptical. Here in ATL church is like the Grammy’s, Oscars, AMA’s. You gotta dress up like it’s the red carpet, shout of the celebs, and everyone goes to the biggest and the baddest church.
Not this small town girl. It made me reallllllly turned off. But I just had to find the place that worked for me. And I too have studied and learned about other religions and that gives me peace of mind in my own way, because I feel like we all worship the same Father. You also have to learn the histories behind them, and not listen to some of the people who shout things contrary to what the Bible teaches.
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Reign Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:08 am
I felt the same way, church here in Dallas and in Houston where I went to school is a fashion show and popularity contest, lol.
I became even more skeptical with my studies and for a while it was very hard for me. I think the only thing that pulled me through was my personal relationship. I take that over any church or religion. We truly have to find what works best for us.
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:30 am
“But I also had questions about contradictions in the Bible and rituals that we’d say every Sunday and noone would answer me with a real answer if at all.”
This is another issue I would have in church. I’d be the one @ bible study asking- How do you know Christmas is on Dec.25th?…I’d get the “that’s a good question”…and get some BS answer followed by an unrelated bible verse.
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Reign Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
I know right!! I finally got an answer when I was watching the History channel. They have a lot of shows about religion and history. Quite interesting, may get most of your questions answered lol.
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CHeeKZ$ Reply:
February 10th, 2009 at 1:28 am
Christmas has actually nothing to do with Jesus. It was actually a pagan religious festival based around the winter solstice.
~Huey Freedman
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
February 10th, 2009 at 10:52 am
What da bloodclott! LMAO
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I feel you on this post Slim. Honestly I used to be the same way. Church didnt really do anything for me, and I felt most that went were hypocrites so I stopped goin. I had to work on my personal relationship with God outside of church before going to church on sundays didnt feel like a waste of time. Sometimes people trick themselves into believing just because they go to church ever sunday its all good.. they get into heaven because they are holier than thou. Those people are sadly mistaken. I believe a person can have a good if not better relationship with God without goin to church, because at the end of the day, its all about what you believe and how you live your life. No where in the bible does it say that God is keeping a tally of how often you go to church.
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Ziggy Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:07 am
P.S. As far as you not praying, I recommend you give it a try. Just take some time out of you ever so busy schedule to have a one on one with God. Maybe at the end of the day when your chillin, or when even when your in your car driving. You would be amazed at how God speaks back =)
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I think Joey’s comment about spirituality vs religious does a good job of explaining the two. I also think that many people have kinda made up this spirituality vs religious thing as an excuse to not go to church. If you could get everything you needed spiritually without going to church, I think that would probably make most of the Bible wrong. I think people do the things they do in life cause they can. Right or wrong. Its free will. But if you didn’t have anyone to help “guide” you or lend a helping hand through some of those decisions, you’d always make the same decisions and use self justification to make you feel that you made the right choice. Or the “only” choice in your eyes maybe. But I also believe that you don’t have to be in church to learn some of that. Let’s say you’re an alcoholic. You probably don’t realize that “Damn, I’m drinking way too much” until you get around some folks who don’t drink. Or wake up next to some chick you don’t know. Everything happens for a reason. You might not go to church to see that, but God can def put you on a path to LEARN that. And run you into church. I dunno how I ended up saying all that ish. But either way, imma P.K. and to be honest I only really go to church when I’m home at my pops church (700 miles away). But that’s partly cuz I’m too critical of all the churches I’ve ever been to. I always find something “wrong” or that annoys me.
As far as having a relationship with a non-christian chick. To quote Mike Singletary, the 49ers coach, “Can’t do it. Won’t do it. Can’t win with it….” She doesn’t have to be a super church geek. I can’t handle all that. All she has to be is a christian. Otherwise my family would never ever and I mean EVER, accept her. My father wouldn’t even do the wedding if she’s not a christian. Boom. And besides all that, I think when you get married, the family has to be on the same page. You can’t have one person home boozin’ (extreme) while the other is at church. “A family that prays together stays together”….for the most part. Sounds cheesy as I type it, but I think its true. (All this might be a reflection of how I was raised as I think over it too.)
Just my thoughts though. Boom.
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Ziggy Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:08 am
“I also think that many people have kinda made up this spirituality vs religious thing as an excuse to not go to church.”
I agree.
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Reign Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:19 am
You both honestly think it’s an excuse not to go to church?? Even when you both stated you don’t go often.
Ziggy, you stated “I believe a person can have a good if not better relationship with God without going to church, because at the end of the day, it’s all about what you believe and how you live your life.”
Is that not spirituality?? Spirituality is having a more personal faith and relationship with God that is less Dogmatic. Am I the only one that sees a contradiction?
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Sam Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Well Reign, I didn’t make that comment Ziggy did. And I never said I was “spiritual”. And I never said I was right for not going to church. I know I have a kink/flaw for not going to church as often as I should. I never said I was right about that. But that’s not because I claim to only be spiritual and not NEED to go to church. I don’t go to church as often as I should because I’m too critical. I over analyze a church sense my father is a pastor. That my short coming. But I don’t believe I contradicted myself any where. And yes that is my opinion that many people use it as an excuse not to go to church. I’m not talking to you personally, just my general opinion. Doesn’t mean it HAS to apply to you. But I do think at some point people who feel that they are spiritual enough and don’t feel the need to go to church will eventually gain a feeling of self sufficiency. This can start off as, I don’t need to go to church to have a relationship with God, to I don’t need to pray everyday, to I can make all the decisions for myself, to I am the master of my destiny. I did this, I did that. You feel like you’re in control of everything while forgetting who put you there and who gave it to you. I think you loose a bit of contact as you go down that road. I’ve been down that road. And being down that road, I felt I walked down that road following self justification.
But that ain’t even the topic of the post. You’ll date a christian/non christian chick or what? lol.
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Reign Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Sam, I understand where you’re coming from, it’s seems we’ve all been in that position. Church isn’t for everybody and you can definitely have the relationship with God outside of the church. Just surrounding yourself with like minded people to discuss these topics is enough, and I’ve been in the situation where I’ve talked to clergy one on one to discuss things that are more relative to whats going on in my life. We have to find what works best for us. It’s not an excuse it’s a choice. I wasn’t getting personal about the comment because I still go to church. But I don’t knock myself when I don’t. And if you’re asking I’ll state again… I’ll date a Christian just not like a pastor in training lol.
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Ziggy Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
There is no contradiction in my statment. I stand by what I said. Someone can have an awsome relationship with God without going to church. I know I did! But I still think that a lot of people use the being “spiritual” vs “religious” as an excuse not to go to church, instead of just being honest and saying at this time church is just not for me. When I went through my phase of not goin to church I was still a religious person. I never stopped believing, I just wasnt goin to church, cause at that time… I didnt want to, not because I was being “spiritual”. That is why I agree with his statement
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Seattle Washington Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:22 am
You can scroll up to see how I feel about that comment, but I’ll just say that there are as many Church folk who fake the funk and aren’t really as religious as they seem, as there are people who claim to be spiritual when they aren’t. I do agree with you that people just don’t want to go to Church or may not understand what it’s about, on the other hand there are folks who have and just decided it’s not for them.
Furthermore, this is another reason why I don’t dabble in organized religion. Every faction feels that their way is the best way, when we’re all reaching towards becoming a better person and all worshipping the same God.
When we can come together and not bicker about the details, processes and doctrines we’ll all be in a better place.
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Joey Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Sam -
Like I said in my previous post, I bet if you asked God to take those distractions (judgments on the church service) away, He would lead you to a place where MOST of them fade to the background. I had the same problem – feeling like I could never find a church like my church home – for almost 2 years, but I kept at it and I didn’t find anything like it, but I found a place where I didn’t think about the differences anymore, but just the positives. Nothing will ever be home, but if I were starving, I wouldn’t not eat just because it wasn’t Mama’s cookin, ya know?
And try joining a small group. PK’s are always a good addition to the small group Bible study cuz they usually know the Bible really well. And anyway, back in Jesus’ time, church was more like a small group anyway. People gatherin around talkin about the word and what they think God meant… So it could be your church til you find where you belong. Don’t give up. I’m prayin for you!
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Whew…ok. I cannot say that I won’t date somebody because we don’t have the same beliefs or they are not as convicted as I am.
IN fact, let us recount a few of my partners.
One of them was an athiest…fundamentally I liked him and if he wasn’t into demonic things it might have worked better.
Then there was the regular church boy (horrible)
The lifetime Catholic…worked but then not really.
The love of my life…believes in God–isn’t sure God does the right thing. In fact, something traumatic happened to him…he wonders why God left him here instead of being grateful. I love him and accept this…it’s a part of him I’ve just got to keep it moving and pray for him.
In fact, I think I like the fact that he’s more spiritual than religious. But when I went to him and asked him if we had kids would he go…? He said absolutely, but then again he knows and understands that organized religion is my thing.
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At this point, church really matters to me. I’ve done exceptions for 28 years, and I have gotten NOWHERE. LOL.
I want a man who wants to come to church with me on Sunday Morning…. although I do bible study and would love him to go, that is not a requirement. I think my relationships have failed not only bc of the man, but bc I didn’t put God first. In ’09, I’m working on revamping my relationship with Him and I’d like my prospect to be doing the same, so he can be more understanding with this thang.
****Slim, I’ve went though exactly what you were before (in not really feeling an urge to go to church). Maybe u just need a new scene. I can honestly say since I’ve joined my new one last year, I can’t wait to go. ****
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JG* Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:20 am
*looks at you like you’re a mirror*
Hello… self?
LOL
Although I’ve been in and out of Church all of my life, starting in late 2008 I reconnected with my current church (always loved it, was just too lazy to drive) and ever since, I can’t WAIT to go. I’m there 3 times a week. Church, Bible Study, and dance practice. I’m sure that I’d have to meet someone who goes there cuz anyone else would think I’m holy roller crazy, which really isn’t the case.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
“*looks at you like you’re a mirror*
Hello… self?”
Why thank u. I take that as a compliment chica.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:23 am
“I want a man who wants to come to church with me on Sunday Morning…. ”
I expected the number of women sharing that sentiment to be higher than what it appears so far. So how do you decipher between a man who wants to go to church with you simply because he wants to be a part of what you do and a man who wants to come to church because he wants to strengthen his relationship in and God and all that other stuff?
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JG* Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:25 am
I believe you can tell a difference in the way he worships. A guy who really doesn’t want to be there will not worship the same way. Same for a woman. You can tell when people are uncomfortable. And while I’m not saying if he’s not jumping and screaming and S.I.T. I’m going to think he’s not interested, you can still tell.
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Cant think of anything to rhyme with Peyso Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
I dont think you’re sufficiently answering the question. He didnt say a man who was forced to come to church by his woman’s annoyance. He WANTS to be there b/c he wants to be with you vs. he WANTS to be there b/c he wants to be closer to God.
On another note, Despite all the foolery and coonery that goes on in church, this shouldnt turn us away from attending on sunday or even organized religion. Even in the Bible the church wasnt perfect, Jesus was in there flipping over tables and what not. Its funny how we can go to the club for hours on end religiously, where this is usually a whole lot more foolery and coonery but folk cant spend a hour praising something other themselves.
I aint knockin everyone’s reason for going or not going to church but trust that I am knocking some ppls reasons.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
“I hopefully will meet someone who is in Church w/o me. THAT’S my honest hope.”
YES!!!!!
And yes, there is some tom and kim foolery going on in church Peyso, but you are not there to deal with those people. Come and get your praise and worship on and leave….
I can’t see a man wanting to come to church with me just to spend quality time. I’m thinking he’ll just try to take me out to dinner or some’n.
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Satya Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
So, you can tell by the way someone worships whether or not they want to be there? So if he only stands at the appointed times he’s not interested? If he’s not singing the Hyms or standing up clapping during a song he’s not in it? I don’t think this is a way to decide if a man is there b\c he wants to get closer to you or God.
I’m one of the people that sometimes sit the entire service… does this mean i’m not interested? No, perhaps i’m just taking mental notes and taking in what the minister is saying. When did we begin evaluating they way folks worship? I know for a fact the same lady that always volunteers to do devotion and is saying “amen and hallelujah” can be the biggest hell raiser. It is often the quiet worshiper that is truly learning and is Christ like
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
I am with JG.. u can tell in the way he worships… if we get to church and he’s really into it and not even acting like I’m there, then I’ll know.
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JG* Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
In response to Peyso…
I hopefully will meet someone who is in Church w/o me. THAT’S my honest hope. But again, you can tell if he truly wants to be there. If he’s just going to be there to spend time with me, his level of involvement will be different. If he was going for himself and his relationship with God and the added perk being that I’m there, you can tell. He will not be focused on me *At all* and he’d more than likely have more to say about the service afterwards if it was something he found intriguing to him. That’s about as sufficiently as I can answer. lol.
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JG* Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
In reply to Satya
I’m not trying to analyze people’s worship period. I’ve gone through my own progression of methods and with the way I worship, I honestly wouldn’t have the time to be trying to read him. But if I’m trying to determine if he’s there for ME or for HIM (which *again* I’m not ever trying to be in the position to have to do) then I think I’d be able to tell by the way he’s worshiping. *again* I’m not talking about just clapping and singing and constant “Amens”. I’m even more or less talking about the things that are said once we leave and his commentary. When you’re with someone at a movie, can you tell if they are engaged? When they are talking to you, aren’t you able to tell when they are truly engaged and interested versus just pretending for your sake? I’m pretty good at knowing when people are around me genuinely versus not in any situation. Which is why my *true list* of friends is rather concise.
Just wanted to clarify.
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I was really really into my youth ministry back in my high school days. I was also the leader of the praise dance ministry as well. Yes, that’s right, at 15, I led an entire ministry…on my own. At 15. Didn’t seem crazy at the time, but it sure as hell sounds crazy to me now! Why would they let me lead a ministry?? Anyway…I was a die hard youth ministry participant. Every bible study, every Sunday School, every Youth/Children’s church, every Youth Sunday, every every! I was there. I was the quintessential example of the Church Star. I was in the “bulletin” every Sunday too (“congratulations to MaPockets on her 4.0 this semester!” *claps claps* And I’m looking around, like how do they find out this stuff?) But all that changed when I left for college. I come back home for my first Summer break to find that there is no Youth Ministry anymore. Why, I ask? Everyone is hush hush. I guess no one thought to tell the faithful youth, who spent her every Tuesday and Wednesday night and Saturday and Sunday mornings, that the Youth Ministry fell victim to the World. So yeah, the head female youth minister slept with the male youth minister, who was married at the time…and who also tried to hit on the OTHER female youth minister who indeed gave in and gave it up to him too, and amidst it all, the older and more wiser female youth minister who knew all about it…never said anything. Ahh…train up a child in the way s/he should go…or so they say. I had to find all this out through my sister…who was the catalyst in the whole thing being “found out”, cause Mister Youth Minister tried to hit on HER too…but she’s married (and on the Praise Team), so she saaang to Passa like a canary! Did I mention that Youth Minister #3′s son was dating Youth Minister #4′s daughter, and those two were ALWAYS excused from bible study so they could have personal time alone in the sanctuary…at 15 and 16. Yes. PISSED ME OFF!! LIKE WHY I GOTTA BE DOWN HERE THEN?! Long story long, as effed up as that situation was, I wouldn’t trade my teachings for anything in the world. I learned more about God/using the Word as my sword and shield/the weaknesses of the flesh in those 5-6 years of Youth Ministry than I have in the last 5-6 years that I’ve been gone from my hometown. What they say is true…train up a child in the way she should go. I know the difference between right and wrong, Godly and ungodly, saint and sinner, good sh*t and bad sh*t. Cause I’m all of those. What’s most important to me about a man and his relationship with God, is that he has one. And that he lets be me apart of it. I couldn’t be with a man who discourages that part of me that yearns to be better. I couldn’t be with a man who discounts my Christian upbringing or my Christian family and their belief. I couldn’t be with a man who simply just doesn’t believe, because I’d spend all my energy wanting him to believe (and we all know how much of a “no no” it is to try and CHANGE people. Psh. No time for that tomfoolery). However, I would never deny a fellow work-in-progress my time or my love. Because then, I’d be a hypocrit.
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Cant think of anything to rhyme with Peyso Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 11:47 am
I fux with that last line
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I wouldn’t rule a guy out completely for not going to church every Sunday, but I don’t know that I could see myself in a relationship for the long haul with a man who had no relationship with God. There are lots of reasons people do not go to church, and I am in no place to judge someone for that. Though I grew up in the church, I am still (and always will be) in the process of getting myself right with the Lord (e.g. Bible study, going to church regularly, etc.) Hopefully, me and the future boo can make the walk together.
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I wouldnt rule out a jawn for not going to Church every sundey. I dont even go every Sunday. However, if a jawn is not God fearing (whatever God she chooses) I cant bump with her. I think that it is a bit arrogant to feel that there is no higher power affecting the way things happen these days. I think it is important to have a relationship with God, regardless of the God you choose and the style of relationship. It bothers me that my SO is so adverse to going to church with me just b/c I think that she would like it and I kind of just want her to come with me once.
I only go to church when I get a calling. There are some Sundays when no matter how hung over I am, regardless of how tired or how hard I try to go back to sleep, I cant and I get up and go those days. Howver, there are some days when I sleep til 4pm.
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I think its really funny how ppl expect there to be no messed up ppl in church. Where u think the messed up ppl are going to try to get right? You’re messed up and you’re there too. just something i noticed
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JG* Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Exactly! Just like I said above, even more reason to go! The sad part is there are people in the Church who like to act Holier than thou. But I ignore them, and thankfully go to a church where the Pastor doesn’t allow for that either.
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
LYRICS FROM LYFE JENNINGS- MADE UP MY MIND
“Lord they really think they fooling you by coming to church on Sunday
praying and laying hands on folks stomping and jumping around faking the holy ghost
but its a thin line between walking it and talking it
living it and giving it or just pretending it’s alright
and did they really think that they could pull the wool over your eyes lord
did they really think that by faking they were saved that they would get the same reward
this be the realest thing I ever wrote for sure
after this a lot of folks wont like me no mo’
but after this I gotta go answer to you Lord
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I’m really struggling with so many people saying they left church due to the hypocrisies of the people in it. I think that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever said (because I used to say it myself, and looking back, it was a lame excuse for not wanting to give my life to Christ).
It’s like me saying I don’t want to go to class because I don’t like my classmates. Professor, I can understand (but you have the choice – a LARGE SELECTION on whose “class” you want to take). But the people in it? SO WHAt if you say Shanika and BooBoo droppin in like it’s hot on Saturday night and then speaking tongues on Sunday morning. SO WHAT if you know Lil Maine and Day Day was at the strip club til 6am and came to church covered in sin and coochie. WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU???
Allowing other people’s sins to interfere with your relationship with God, and your chance to know and love Him on a higher, deeper level is just pathetic. Real talk. That ain’t nothin but the devil trying to throw obstacles in your way – and you lookin at this little rock and sayin “Oh, there’s a rock in the road on my way to heaven; guess I can’t get there.”
I’m not tryin to preach up in here. Come to God on your own terms. But come up with something better than the hypocrisies of people in church. Even the confusion of the Bible isn’t an excuse because the whole point of going to church/Bible study is so you can SORT out that confusion. And if you asked questions in Sunday school and didn’t get the answers… allow me to inform you that Sunday school teachers are usually NOT ordained to teach the word. They’re usually somebody’s Mama and she’s going to church to better understand God just like you. Talk to someone who KNOWS the Bible (it ain’t me either).
Lastly (for real), no religion is perfect. Because it’s a social construct made by man – men who are imperfect and who therefore make everything imperfectly – it’s bound to have flaws. If you’re looking for perfection, you’ll never find it ANYWHERE. But I can tell you one thing. You DEFINITELY won’t find it in yourself. So why not take a step closer to the ONLY perfect person that ever walked this earth, and find out what He was all about, focus on Him, and all other things will pass away. Cuz everything else is just an excuse.
REAL TALK.
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JG* Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Great post.
And again learn your history. And while we don’t speak Aramaic or Hebrew, there are lots of texts out there with much more honest translations. Also, learn about the people who wrote the various versions of the Bible (or whatever you read) and the changed they may have made.
At the end of the day, I found the Pastor that I felt was the most rooted in the Holy Spirit. And when I’m in church it’s just me and him. And after every service he comes down and we can talk to him, (it’s a fairly big church too) and if we have questions, he gives us a way to connect with him further.
Also my church doesn’t have Sunday school for logistical reasons but we have School of Ministry classes during the week and on the weekend that are like Sunday school but taught by PREACHERS.
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Cheekie Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
“I’m really struggling with so many people saying they left church due to the hypocrisies of the people in it.”
Sometimes it’s also the hypcrisies of the people TEACHING it. And maybe you don’t want to be around that negative energy. At the end of the day, your relationship with God is private. Don’t need a fancy building to have said relationship. If every church burned down (God forbid!), would your relationship then cease to exist? If it is real, I’m thinking no.
“Allowing other people’s sins to interfere with your relationship with God, and your chance to know and love Him on a higher, deeper level is just pathetic.”
But, it doesn’t. In fact, it does the opposite for many people. Leaving church does not completely erase your relationship with God. For some people, it erases the negativity that surrounded them in church and opens up the valve for positivity and a stronger connection with Him.
It’s really bothersome when people are automatically assumed “too lazy” just because they don’t choose Sunday (or whatever day of choice) to dress up and worship with a group of people…maybe they choose to do that in the confines of their own home or with their families. It’s that judgemental mentality (especially when the Bible says otherwise) that pushes people away from church in the first place.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
I’m co-signing on Cheekie’s comment. This very closely echoes my sentiments.
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Joey Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
And yet again… we have a lot of “teachers” to chose from, so that’s not really an excuse either. Just because you come across one or two or even 10 bad preachers doesn’t mean there isn’t one who has it right. We tend to be super judgmental over other people, and expect them to be perfect when we ourselves are far from it. I’m not saying that people need to go to church to get God, but how else do you learn/grow if you’re not going to class and/or reading your books? It’s the same concept. My grades aren’t going to get any better just because I spend the time that I WOULD have been in class, criticizing the professor/students/text, sleeping, making blog posts or virtually defending my beliefs. They’re ONLY going to get better if I take my butt to class right now and apply myself to learning, despite how I feel about everyone there, and despite how much I want to get on here. And I made a point to choose some really awesome professors (and have to wake up at obscene hours for them sometimes) in order to get my education on. Speaking of which….
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Cheekie Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
“I’m not saying that people need to go to church to get God, but how else do you learn/grow if you’re not going to class and/or reading your books?”
Is this particular information only available through church, though? The Bible (along with any other learning material in terms of religion) is public domain. Just as you said that you can find other preachers and priests, you can find other sources to get your information.
Same goes for academic classes. Saying one will grow more one way is that similar attitude that people have who go to college look down on people who choose to grow another way. (for the record, I did graduate from college, but don’t look down on those who chose not to and are still successful in their own right)
Simply put, there is more than one way to learn. There is more than one way to grow.
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Joey Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
That’s why I say “going to class and/OR reading your books.” I was referring to going to church and/OR reading the Bible/other religious texts.
And I don’t think that this is “similar attitude that people have who go to college look down on people who choose to grow another way.” There are plenty of ways to get educated, including reading, training, working, etc.
There’s only one way to God. “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”
Like I said, everyone comes back to God on their own terms and at their own pace. But realize that there’s only one way to heaven. Period.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
While I respect how dedicated and adamant you are about your faith Joey, you’ve exhibited one major thing that turns me off to organized religion. The one way to God talk. From what I remember, there were many walks of life and many paths to the Lord.
There’s one Lord, but we have many men plowing individually at a road to Him instead of working together to find Him.
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Brooklyn's Own Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
“Like I said, everyone comes back to God on their own terms and at their own pace. But realize that there’s only one way to heaven. Period.”
I agree for the most part w/the first portion of your statement that everyone comes back to and finds GOD on their own terms and own pace however I do question as to how you or anyone else for that matter know’s that there is only one way to heaven, let alone what heaven or hell even is. I mean, of course you can get your description from a book which was written by MAN but that one book is not the end all be all and because no-one I know nor have ever heard of knows any dead folks who have come back and shared this information, EVERYTHING you do and believe is based on your FAITH so to make general assumptions sort of makes you a sinner hey!?
juss my 2 cents
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Joey Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I feel you Seattle, only because I’ve been there and I know exactly where everyone here that’s talking about being turned away from God due to religious fanatics and hypocrites. I am speaking from experience, and not some blind faith that I’ve never questioned. Because honestly, I’d like to believe that good people who live their lives right but don’t believe in Christ or don’t go to church/read the Bible, etc will still go to heaven. I want to believe that because I’ve met so many GOOD people who are agnostic, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Baha’i whatever, and I don’t want to think I won’t see them in the afterlife.
My beliefs are actually really different from that of “fundamental” Christianity because I was a religious studies minor in college and I learned that there’s a lot of good to every religion (even athiests and agnostics), and no one religion has it right.
On the same hand, I didn’t say WHAT the way to heaven is (cuz I don’t even know myself). We all walk different paths and go about it different ways, but the “way” to God is clearly defined. How narrow or broad you want to pave it is everyone’s personal opinion. But what I’m trying to say is that we will all end up on the same road eventually, if we want to get to heaven. Take it how you want.
We aren’t all the same (devout Christians). I voted Obama, I gets it poppin in the club sometimes, I drink from time to time, and I curse like a sailor (work in progress). I don’t hug my Bible at night, and I don’t even read it every day like I should. I never specified what the right path was, but I’d like to think I’m on it. It’s on you, on each of us, whether we’re satisfied with the place we are, the speed we’re walking, the distance we have left, and the obstacles that we will face for taking the paths we take… to the one road… to heaven.
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Cheekie Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
“I feel you Seattle, only because I’ve been there and I know exactly where everyone here that’s talking about being turned away from God due to religious fanatics and hypocrites.”
I’m not sure if you worded this the way I took it but I do want to clarify that “…being turned away from God…” is inaccurate, at least in my case. At least in many cases here who argue the “non-organized religion or spiritual” side. It didn’t turn me away from God, just church. Those two aren’t mutually exclusive. I’m one of those that believe that you don’t have to be in an organized religion to believe in God. Or to have a relationship with God for that matter. Sometimes the relationship is just that…a relationship. And labeling it doesn’t make it stronger, what you put forth into the relationship is what makes it stronger.
All in all, I do respect you as well as your faith Joey, just offering up my side of the story…that not being affiliated with an organized religion can’t be reduced to being “too lazy”. Religion and the subject of God in general has too many shades of gray to turn it into something so black and white. I can say that I am happy you believe in something and that you are so firm in those beliefs. That, in and of itself, I admire and practice as well.
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Joey Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Right. We have to agree to disagree. Well not even disagree, just have a slightly different take on the same hand of the matter. Like I’m on the pinkie, you on the thumb. lol.
Anyway, I did mean to say “turned away from the church” cuz I was never turned away from God, just organized religion. I just realized that not all churches are the same and I found a place where I feel like I’m deepening and strengthening my relationship with God exponentially greater than I ever was when I had merely a personal relationship. It’s the first metaphor I gave about the flower and sun and water, etc.
And again, we all come on our own terms. If everyone here is completely satisfied with their life as is, that’s great. I’m just saying… if that’s not the case, give church another chance. He has given you (everyone) so many.
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Okay, so I’m one of those people that select “spiritual” on those generic
social website Match.comforms.I was “raised” at the Apostolic Church of God and I’m thankful for that. It was my first real introduction to God aside from my mother.
Now where my mother comes in is where I get “spiritual”. From her experiences, religion was a “controlled” environment, invoking fear as a means to teach. And in teaching me this, I have also felt the need to reject organized religion. I’m not a fan of the term “God-fearing”. It alleges that you need to do good out of fear of His wrath. How about doing good for the sake of doing good. This wrathful God scared me more than teach me and it countered the “other” God taught: the loving God. Well, which one was it? Was He a kind God that loved us no matter what or was He the wrathful God that sent HIS creations to an eternal damnation?
Then I came upon “Conversations With God” through my mother. It was probably the best series of books I have ever read. It made the most sense to me. It taught that God gave us free will and that any action created the appropriate reaction. It taught that God can’t forgive in the literal sense because there isn’t anything to forgive. And that “hell” is created by us (it makes more sense than the fiery pits of hell theory…I mean, everyone can’t possibly have the same exact hell…hell to you ain’t hell to me), but we eventually realize that we were never separated from God. I mean, if the “created in His image” thing was taken in a spiritual sense other than a literal sense, then it all fits together. We’re never apart from God. God is never NOT with us, even in that so-called Hell. That our soul is who were really are not our bodies…and if our soul lives on, then there really isn’t anything such as death. And that life never really ends. And I think that theory make a lot of people feel better about life. If you think of it in stages, then it makes more sense.
So, in essence, I don’t believe you need to be in a specific setting (i.e. church) to be closer to God. You can communicate with God whether you’re in your bathtub, in class, at work, in the car, or
screaming His name during the big Oin danger. I also don’t believe that there are only certain people who can communicate with Him. The reason why there are priests, Dalai Lamas, or Popes is because they’ve managed to learn how to speak to their higher deity, not because they are any “better” than any other Joe Schmoe down the street.To end this long run-on rambling, I’d like to say that I’m not the type to say my way is right and your way is wrong because for one, it’ll totally negate my belief that there isn’t truly a “right or wrong” and for two, I love having an open mind. I also love to delve into other religions (Buddhism, etc) and find the similarities as well as differences. All I gotta say is that your way isn’t the right or wrong way, it’s simply your way. Same goes for mine. Whatever keeps you at peace, which is what I believe God (or insert your own deity or non-deity here) ultimately wants for all of us anyway.
Hopefully, I’ve explained myself clearly. It’s Monday, morning. I didn’t get out everything I wanted to say, but then again, that’ll probably take 365 days.
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There’s been a lot of dialogue about this spiritual vs. religious distinction. I’ll say that at this point I’m probably neither…but I ain’t no damn heathen. I kinda just exist and go about my life, yet I accept there’s a higher power out there. I get more positive energy out of doing well at my personal pursuits than I could on any Saturday/Sunday at this point in my life. In terms of selection of a sexy woman, a religious/traditional or overly “spiritual” family might be a turn off depending on how it comes across. Being at dinner or at some event and listening to people go on and on about church/Jesus/religion is kinda awkward when you don’t feel the same way. I’m all about sharing in someone’s life influences, but there have been times I’ve been forced to find the closest exit sign or a television.
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Cant think of anything to rhyme with Peyso Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
I hear what u saying about the dinner table convo but couldnt it be the same way when everyone talking about their kids when you aint got no kids?
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
It could be, but there aren’t too many topics that get people as riled up as church/religion and really cause someone to feel all sorts of left out or viewed with the side eye.
Think about it. You could say “hey can we talk about sumthin other than children since I don’t got any or want any” and not come across as too much of a jerk. But try saying “hey, can we talk about sumthin other than God/church since I don’t go to Church or really care to talk about religion at all”.
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Cant think of anything to rhyme with Peyso Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
“Think about it. You could say “hey can we talk about sumthin other than children since I don’t got any or want any” and not come across as too much of a jerk.”
I dont know about that, ppl be thinking they kids are angels.
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All in all, do what you do. If you dont go to church b/c your lazy just say that. If you dont go to church b/c its too far say that. If you go to church and you be zoned out while there, admit it. If you go to church and just act a fool even though you aint really caught no spirit, admit it. If you go to church and judge the girl in the hoochie mama skirt instead of ministering to her admit it. I’m just not a fan of bull$h!t. All ppl, church goers and non church goers, spiritual and religious need to stop bull$h!ttin themselves and stop bull$h!ttin the ppl around them. All i want is a chick that practices tai chi and can still buy weed, thats all. She aint gotta go to church as much as me, i dont care. As long she dont knock my ideas and we can converse about our ideas in a coherent and intelligent way. And thats keepin it decent
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TRUE Reply:
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:45 am
chilli con queso rhymes with peyso
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I definitely could date someone that has different beliefs from me. I am I suppose best characterized as agnostic for various reasons. At my core, I truly enjoy being around people with all different points of views and walks of life. I think being with someone who is exactly like you is boring. Now I do see the common reasonings people in organized religion need to date someone following that same path (if they got married and had to raise children, etc)…but for me I’m pretty much open to learn about anyones beliefs and I believe in respecting and valuing everyones opinion regardless of how outlandish it may seem to society.
Something I find fascinating because I study a lot about workplace diversity, globalization, etc. A lot of people are very open to the idea of inclusion and diversity in the workplace until you get to the two touchy subjects, 1 being religion and 2 being sexuality. Some people get very uncomfortable about being warm and accepting to people who practice dramatically different religions from them. I suppose it could be due to at the core most organized religion’s main goal is to spread the word and get everyone involved in the same organized belief system. Or in otherwords, attempt at inclusion, but actions can be particularly exclusive.
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All of the folks here have been disputing religion, spirituality or ways to reaching God, but we still believe in a higher power at the end of the day.
Are they any folks out there who don’t believe in God?
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Cheekie Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
I also co-sign this curiosity, sincerely.
One of the reasons why I love Obama is because he included atheists as American citizens in his inauguration speech. He got a lot of backlash for that one, but I truly admired him for it. I’m of the group that believes God loves each and everyone of us, no more or no less than the next one. I believe real love is the way God loves. Without conditions. If there are conditions, it isn’t really love. Holla.
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Anita Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
I guess I’m the closest thing in here so I’ll answer… I was raised Baptist, and while I didn’t (still don’t) have a problem with that, I never really “got” it either. I would stand there and sing in the choir and fellowship with the people and all that, but frankly by the time I was say, 11 or 12 I just felt like a liar. I honestly think it would be nice to be able to believe in a higher power, to think that something bigger than me was watching over me and cared about what happened, but I just can’t. Trying to explain it to me I think would be like trying to explain colors to a person that was born blind, I don’t think there is a way I could understand how it feels to believe in a deity, let alone claim to love it. I’m not saying there’s no such thing, since no one can ever prove that either way. I also am not saying other people should not have their own religious beliefs. I’m just saying it’s never going to work for me.
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I agree with Joey.
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Joey Reply:
February 9th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
lol thanks NG. I’m not trying to offend people. After all, the original post is already on a slight bias so I just wanted to offer up the other side of it.
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I am coming waaay after so many comments and you heard a bit of this on treat already but for ME I not be in a serious relationship with someone who didn’t go to church. And you are right being spiritual/religion are two very different things. But b/c it is important to be to practice BOTH my future mate would need to desire to do the same things.
I tried dating someone just spiritual (not same beliefs), and someone else who had the same beliefs but was not a church goer…both had strife in the relationship and I just couldn’t do it. Both relationships did not end b/c of that but it was one of the major pillars of the downfall.
I believe it is possibly to date “unequally yoked”, and to
each his own!
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God Doesn’t exist…
Thank You and Have a nice day!
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Seattle Washington Reply:
February 10th, 2009 at 10:55 am
That’s that wonderful Catholic school upbringing shining thru again.
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CHeeKZ$ Reply:
February 10th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
HAHA! They taught us how to disprove everything they believe.
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You only lose what you cling to. (buddist quote)
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some people feel the need to go to church to reach GOD
*SHRUGS*
Some don’t..thats really not debatable except for the simple fact that people feel better when they are doing the “right” thing and/or people feel guilty for not going and are tryin to justify it
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