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Disobey Your Thirst
Someone please bring this woman a drank.
Now that summer is in full swing, it is clear that people are spending lots of time in the sun. I don’t know this because they are getting nice and sun-kissed. I know this because they are showing signs of thirst. I’m not talking about the “get me a cold glass of water with a side of watermelon” type of thirst. I’m talking about the kind of thirst that makes men and women alike throw a mean side eye in the direction of women who fall into one of two categories in the eyes of most: sad or crazy.
Like every other area of human interaction and behavior, thirsty behavior has reached new heights and levels of visibility. Thanks to blog comments, facebook walls and status comments, and the bane of my existence never-ending conversation that is twitter, thirsty women are no longer relegated to the text message inbox of one person’s smart phone. Nope. Now, the whole world sees her asking for a drank. I’ve come up with a list of a few ways to recognize a thirsty woman when you see one. As you the read the list, think about your own time lines, facebook status updates, blogs and past interactions. I bet you’ll be able to identify a few thirsty ones. And make no mistake about it. Men can be thirsty too. But that’s for a different post.
She latches on to a very superficial connection.
This is the foundation for the thirst because no mutual interest has been expressed. She knows one or a few things about a man, and all of a sudden she’s friends with him. When she sees him in the street, she acts like they have been homies for years, whilst he cringes behind his forced smile as she approaches. And since he’s the only person on the street, avoidance is not an option. Sucks to be him.
She reaches out too much, too often.
Maybe they are FB friends. Maybe she follows him on twitter. Maybe the man, with his simpleton nice-guy ways, gave her his phone number. Either way, she can reach out whenever she feels so inclined…which is all the time. Bear in mind, he never calls her. He never IMs her. He rarely hits her with an @reply. But she sees no issue with the one way initiation of communication. She keeps on keeping on.
She is over the top with just about everything…and she thinks it’s cute.
The thirsty woman doesn’t know any thing about moderation. She’s overly flirtatious. She’s suggestive when it’s uninvited. She takes the sexy jokes a wee bit too far…and every one knows it except her. As she giggles thinking she’s being cute, she doesn’t even notice that she’s being giggled at.
She forces herself into conversations and situations that don’t involve her.
I’m not exactly sure how or why she thinks this is appropriate, but her thirst knows no limit. Yes, the internet is a forum for a lot of discussion between a lot of people, but most of us know how to exercise our discretion. Someone mentioning that they have been somewhere, or want something is not necessarily an invitation for her to join in. But she does so anyway. Ol’ no filter havin’ lookin’ girl.
Some may say I’m being harsh, and others may say I’m being judgmental. Either way, thirsty broads annoy me. They look so sad from afar and they make my man-friends uncomfortable. I talked about them mostly in the context of these internets, but in the real world, they are just as annoying. Have you observed thirsty behavior? What did she (or he) do? How did you react? Ever have a thirsty friend? Did you offer her some Gatorade or a good firm shake? It’s okay. You can tell me.
Always well-hydrated,
RSS & Twitter
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This post made me laugh.. because just Friday i was talkin about thirsty chicks and wanting to buy them a slushie..
(it’s real cheap at my gas station..$1 at the Burger King)
i know it started as a joke but it’s elevated into something a tad bit uncomfortable..
when i see it in action i cringe.. on behalf of tactful women everywhere.. because it’s hard to dissect tone through written (or typed) word, it’s hard to tell if it’s a joke, or a truth.. if someone should invest in Drunken Monkey technique classes (if he should meet you in a dark alley) or if he should just shrug you off..
stop sending panties through IP addresses..
not the best look..
i have to think that there’s just some things that’ll happen naturally.. Match.com has women believing that through twitter is natural.. through blogs is common.. by facebook is a recipe for “everlasting”
it’s cute.. but we (myself included) watch too many movies..
#JadedMuch
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Sukez Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 4:31 am
“stop sending panties through IP addresses..”
hehe
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If the shoe fits wear it right? Well it fit alright…
*taking a deeper look* yes you’re right… guilty as charge…
time to make some changes…
Thanx!
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L. Dejean Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 10:02 pm
i thought the same things for me at times so i’m definitely with you on “time to make some changes”!
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Well…since I’m up late finishing (read: procrastinating) these Memo’s and Lit. Reviews, I might as well comment…
I’ve noticed such thirst within my own BFF…and a few blogs I frequent…too damn funny. I need to forward this article to my BFF though…maybe she’ll get the hint.
All in all…FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY!
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Then there is the aftermath of the thirst, when the guy finally tells her he has no interest, or he just stops faking that he is marginally interested. She has a melt down and mopes around like they had been dating for years. I’ve witnessed it and its so annoying, even worse when the thirsty person is your friend and you have to act compassionate. Thirst is just damn annoying in general, stop trying so hard and chill out!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 11:43 am
I knew that you witnessed thirst first hand right away.lol.
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Ahahahahahahah! I’m glad you put this up BECAUSE (no name) is a THIRST. And nothing can quench her thirst. I mean, nothing. She definitely forced her way into some of MY conversations and she’s…how do you say this, extremely EXTRA? As you said, over the top… But I can’t say more. I know a thirst when I see one.
And the convo-butting part? I can see how that will happen with almost anyone, myself included. When you have mutual followers or friends and you can see them on your timeline/news feed. But even I know which convos don’t need me in it. A & B sh!t so C your way out. Some people know it’s between A & B. Not only do they C their way IN, sh!t i can’t think of anything witty for D at 4:30 am. You know what I mean. Lol.
In a few years, I guarantee you’ll be thirsty and I’ll be looking like Tropicana Twist,
Sukez
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Please Excuse Your Significant Other Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 9:51 am
On a sidenote, I was listening to “Sunshine” by Jay and the chick he was talking to/about is called Suki
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Sukez Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 5:07 pm
On another sidenote, I did the dramatic chipmunk for you on a recent post!
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L. Dejean Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 10:05 pm
i think i might have commented on a convo or two of yours…so sorry! lol…luh ya Sukz squeakiton! =0)
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Oh yeah, point em out., point em out., point em out., point em out.. Ol’ piggy looking girl.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 8:57 am
Easy Suki…
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Please Excuse Your Significant Other Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 9:17 am
mwahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaa
THIS!!! Made my day lol
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The Honorable and Rather Articulate RightCoastLexSteele, LLC, Still Not On Twitter Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 12:00 pm
Next post, “Stop Internet Thuggin”
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Sukez Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 5:08 pm
Ooohhh yes. One of my followers always want to cut me.. Okay, #ThatIsAll
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L. Dejean Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 10:07 pm
=0|…why would they follow you if they always want to cut you? lemme know if we gotta e-ride out! lol
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I don’t really know thirst like this…I’ve never been thirsty acting..even when I am feeling my thirst..I don’t actually act on it..unless, I have a clear invite to do so…and it has to be really clear. lol. Most people like this, I find are lonely, perhaps. Or just very aggressive in personality..you just have to keep them at a distance…they mean well, you just have to like them “over there”…like DMX said in an interview about his mother…”I love her over there”…for some reason that quote stuck with me…because I like alot of people “over there”…..
I’m poppin Gatorade! Good Post Jenkins! LOL.
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Ohmigosh. I need to send this post to a friend post haste.
She’s been analyzing the same damn voicemail for 3 days now (which means that at least I don’t have to hear about that DAMN text).
I’ve taken to just listening, because telling her to quit being so damn thirsty ain’t working. She agrees with me but keeps on with her thirsty ways. Lord knows I don’t get it. That all takes way too much effort!
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 9:19 am
Lol @ “post haste”
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I was at a wedding yesterday instead of Heatwave, I’m still salty, No Tiff I wont get over it loland there were some joints that were obviously thirsty. They came to chosen and their actions indicated so. One particular jointwho was bad as hell, might i addcontinue to hit on me, despite me telling her that I was there w/ the SO. My gf had to give her the death stare in order for her to fall back
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yasss. great post. I think Twitter has enhanced the thirst to a WHOLE new level. the last to hit the nail on the head though! being over the top and forcing oneself into convos. yeah, thats lame. I just sit back and chuckle… crazy thing is those so called simpleton guys will complain but its all their fault for egging it on.
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Thirsty girls make me just…sigh.
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As I lay in bed with the headache from hell. Satan. This post brings me great joy. I’ve got thirst stories for days.lol.
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Funny… But so true. Lol.
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*Grabs Popcorn*
LMAO
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*tip-toes in* *looks around* It’s awfully quiet around here… #noshots #justsayin
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I knew someone would write a post about thirst. I saw several folks in my timeline take subliminal shots at some thirsty people in their timeline. Me, I laugh at it all.
Maybe you should a thirst intervention? Send some DMs, or start Gchat with the thirsty individuals. Pull them aside, and let them know that not only are they hurting themselves, but they are hurting you and all of your mutual friends/followers. lol.
And fellas, put a stop to it before she attacks you on the street, park, etc. I imagine some of you NYC bloggers and twilebrities have a tough time with this. smh… It’s a shame, really.
Funny post, Miss Jenkins.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 11:25 am
You just inspired a post idea of sorts. Excellent.
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Please Excuse Your Significant Other Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 11:40 am
This post also makes me laugh. LOL
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Reecie Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 12:16 pm
Ditto. LOL
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 11:48 am
Lol. This post was my attempt at an intervention, for all it was and was not. Whether it was a success, only time will tell. There are still 1000s of thirst buckets out there that I can’t reach. I am but one woman.
You too must take a stand.
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A.Smith Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 11:49 am
Good thing this is my last week at work because this response right here sho woulda got me fired the way I was guffawing.
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 11:58 am
dead at “You too must take a stand.”
LMAO!!
Oh god, I just had a thought. With the Omegas coming to town, there will be a city full of thirsty broads this weekend. Damn, damn, damn! FML! I may need to have a workshop Thurday evening. lol. Controlling Your Thirst w/ N.I.A.naturally
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Please Excuse Your Significant Other Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Stop C-Blockin
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MadScientist7 Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 12:21 pm
speaking of clave. peyso, slim, lex. what’s good? y’all gonna be in raleigh? no excuses. i’m in the bball tourney. i’m looking for y’all on the court.
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L. Dejean Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 10:16 pm
There is a slew of sorors in Cali for Boule & we’ve had quite a few thirsty dudes coming around…its been quite annoying…
Its even worse in person, in my opinion cause it is even more obvious (but that is just me, maybe) because of the body language and tone of voice.
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Reecie Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 12:28 pm
wait…did you type “twilebrities”? that tickled my soul so very much. LMAO
no seriously. regular people have fans like that? -_-
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Brilliant post, Jenkins. This deserves some sort of reward. I’ll huddle w/ Seattle and his attorney and see if we can’t work something out for you. Definitely not gonna cut you a check, but I’ll see if Seattle spring for those uh…conjugal visits.
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I feel like this has been the theme of the summer! (Dis)obey your thirst, sponsored by Sprite, Gatorade and Dos Equis… stay thirsty my friends!
1. i appreciate your use of “thirsty broads” as i use the phrase quite often.
2. “They look so sad from afar and they make my man-friends uncomfortable”… thirsty broads make EVERYONE uncomfortable, especially if she’s your homegirl. its like being the sober friend to “that drunk girl” at the club. sigh.
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I have done #2 Twittah. LOL There have been 2 people that I’ve @ to despite not receiving any real responses, although even Joel McHale got back at me twice. The other just didn’t want to respond to my e-claims on him (It was all in good fun, at least to me). I’ll also drop a comment here and SBM once in a while about something/someone being sexy. I’m sure that it has appeared to some e-peepz that I was thirsty. *shrugs* Fact is, I’m a playful person and flirty by nature. I get these same comments by co-workers who think I flirt with the customers even though I treat all genders and ages exactly the same. This may not always translate correctly over the internetz. I apologize if anyone on the internets has gotten the impression that I am a thirsty broad who takes these e-streets that seriously.
There may be one or two folks in my timeline who take the sexy jokes a little too far (y’all know who you are), but I really don’t consider them any more/less thirsty than the one or two men (y’all know who you are) on my timeline who hold up the other end of those conversations. It’s funny the tightrope that women have to walk to not appear thirsty (or too flirty), but also not appear to standoffish (both online and in real life), and I don’t know that this something men have to deal with. For instance, one of my followers pointed out the Liz (of VSB fame) hadn’t followed him back and so he unfollowed her. No problem, nobody finds issue with that. I mention that a certain blogger (*cough* Slim *cough*) doesn’t follow me back and I bet I have more than one of you guys thinking I’m thirsty. Just sayin. Never mind that I also point out that a certain female blogger (*cough* Miss Jenkins *cough*) also doesn’t follow me.
I had more to say here, but this is getting long and I’ve barely started my morning (plus I’m not even sure this isn’t just rambling), maybe I’ll write it out later. Maybe not. *shrugs*
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Sukez Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 5:13 pm
#dead @ Y’all know who you are. I know! I know!
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total co-sign sane… even on the slim thing -_- (<– those are not thirsty eyes- they are side eyes)
This was hilarious. I've had many a desert ridden friend that I had to put a leash on- but you've gotta realize some people will do that no matter what you do and this post will only reach those who know that e-clingy (in addition to real life clingy)is just not acceptable.
I will say tho- that men should watch how they respond to an clinger. Too many of yal are being "nice" and in kookooland nice= next Saturday's wedding. (for reference see: Obsessed)
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The story of my life…hahaha
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You know most of the thirsty chicks that will read this, will swear up and down that this does not apply to them.
Which is awfully sad.
But can we please touch on the thirsty dudes?? Pretty please with a cherry on top!….but then again. Dudes are ALWAYS thirsty and will probably forever be unquenched.
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Sukez Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Amen. Sheesh. The rules are the same for them.
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Kriola Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 10:00 pm
yes thirsty dudes are THE worst, and the bad part is that there are always dehydrated chicks who will give them play and make them think that their actions are ok.
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L. Dejean Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 10:21 pm
AMEN! I’ve been dealing with that for the past few days…smh
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I’m sure I’ve come across as thirsty at some point in my life…and I’m also sure I’ve corrected the error of my ways…a lot of the time (especially on Twitter), all I can do is shake my head at some of the things I see…some people put way too much out on the internet and are actually *serious* about it…those of us that play in fun, well…it’s all in jest…but people learn…either the easy way or the hard way…
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I have nothing else to add, i commented under others & i won’t say i’ve had my moments cause I definitely have…its just about knowing when to let it all go.
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I have ten minutes before my boss wonders what I am doing but I had to say, great post. I also want to say that I have been number one and two but I caught myself being thirsty and put myself in check. There was always one thing that bugged me though: I long ago checked myself for being thirsty, fell back from that person that I was i.e.; always callings/texting etc. Then when I am gone for awhile, that same person is texting “Hey stranger, long time no text.” Wth? You know they don’t want anything to do with you, which is why they were ignoring you in the first place or hardly or never responding back. All I’m saying is if you don’t like thirsty people, don’t aid them either.
*Heads back to filing and lurking*
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A.Smith Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 7:54 am
This is because despite what they may say, some folks enjoy thirsty individuals’ attention.
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Nighthawk Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 8:45 am
Ding Ding! I concur. Too bad it took me awhile to get that.
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THIS IS COMPLETELY CLASSIC. The entire time I was reading this I was thinking about ONE person. EVERYTHING stated fits her perfectly. This chick is not thirsty… she’s dehydrated. I must save her. This post will be like a IV to the vein.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
If it saves one, my purpose is fulfilled.
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If two people were acquaintances I’d call it thirst; if there was a mutual understanding of something long-term and the guy dropped off the map he’s dehydrating her. She’s acting out of the resulting confusion and trying to save herself with a gulp of water.
Latching on to a significant connection, going out of her way to resolve conflict, being a little forceful and overbearing at times, quick to call out your bs = a woman who’s going for what she wants.
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What it really boils down to is communication and your actions have to speak louder than what you tell them.
If someone treats you like they love you and when you call them on it they say ‘I was just playing’ expect to be pursued.
If someone treats you like an acquaintance and they say ‘this is nothing serious’ and you pursue it as if it is, you weren’t listening to what they were communicating.
If someone treats you like they love you and then say ‘this is nothing serious’ they’re lying to themselves and you need to be determined in calling them on it. I.e. quasi “thirsty” behavior.
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