46 Responses to “Dear Reader, This Is Just My Opinion”

Comments

Read below or add a comment...

  1. JG*

    As a writer I’ve learned to take it all in stride. If I’m voicing my opinion, I can’t be mad when someone does the same. I can’t critique how they did it, or their tone, or whatever because they are entitled the freedom to do so how they please. Just like me. It is scary though because you’re putting something you’ve worked hard on out there to be either loved or criticized. But I was once told by someone very smart, “arguing with a fool makes you look more foolish.” So when people pop off smart over the interwebs, I keep that in mind. I just ignore it.

    Reply

    Miss Jenkins Reply:

    Well put. But does one’s entitlement to expression mean that people should tolerate disrespect results from the expression?

    Reply

    JG* Reply:

    I mean, you could spend time going back and forth all day, but to what purpose? They won’t agree with you, and again, you look more foolish. Trolls & Quasi-trolls love to win. It’s the internet ya know?

    Plus, I know homeless people in every major city that will sneak up and kill someone. All I gotta do is track down an IP address, send that info along with $15 and a sandwich. That’s why I don’t stress rude commenters. LOL iKid (or do I?)

    Plus everyone disagrees with stuff I write, so perhaps I’m just used to it. I’ll come to a blogger’s defense if I feel it’s really warranted. But only to clarify misinformation.

    Reply

    Patrice Reply:

    I really liked this reply!! It is soooo true! I don’t keep a blog and I pick and choose the ones that I read…cause I hate having to read things I deem as nonsense (read things contrary to my beliefs). I read the post and if I am truly bothered or disturbed I just read a few comments, with folks getting real personal and rude…and just close the window. It’s just not worth the headache.

    There have been a few times where folks have tried to come at me on the internets…and I just kindly try to find a means to contact them in private and tell them nicely to eff off and that it’s not that serious.

    Trolls are serious! They stay in the scene looking for things to comment on.

    Internet beef = Anonymous beef = not worth your energy.

    Reply

  2. Whoa… I need to go back and read the comments to the intimidation and the Weezy posts. But to answer your question, the only thing I expect to get from a blog is entertainment, information, and decent dialogue. I probably wouldn’t read 3Ways if I agreed with everything I’ve ever read. I do think it’s silly how people get personally offended by a writer’s personal opinion. Now, I constantly give the o_O to certain comments, but won’t attack the individual personally.

    Reply

  3. I feel like this post was written with a lot of emotion and no direction. How do we take you seriously if your thoughts aren’t going to be coherent? I mean if you want to sell me a dream, just tell me u dig light skinned dudes, then i’d know this was a joke! like seriously? I also think you used the term free.99 in an inappropriate way. Yall dont got editors to clean up these blogs? Why did I waste my time reading this and writing a 5 point reply at 12:13am?! smh…

    Reply

    JG* Reply:

    You suck.

    LOLOL

    Reply

    Miss Jenkins Reply:

    agreed. lol.

    Reply

    Sue Reply:

    Lol Streetz, you’re a jerk. But I’m sure you know. lol

    Reply

  4. Seriously though, you have to have a thinck skin [||] when posting your work in a public forum. Remember that we all dont “Know” each other like that, so why be offended. I actually have fun ethering stupid commentors and showing the world that if your going to disagree, to do it respectfully or at least logically.

    Its funny, I actually had to defend my Republican homeboy a few times on a listserve because all the “progressives” on their would refute his points without having cohesive and intelligent feedback.

    Reply

    Slim Jackson Reply:

    I like ethering as well. The people never come back under the same name. I’ve only had to do it a couple times, and that’s cuz the person was taking away from the discussion with their negativity.

    Reply

    BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:

    Streetz got a point…#noshots but..There’s no crying in Blogging!! LOL I saw ‘A League of Their Own’ once again…felt like using it…LOLOL

    But you got to accept to the bad and good about blogging…

    Reply

  5. I read a lot of blogs, columns and commentary in a day. Some opinions I agree with, and others not so much. Regardless of my stance, I’m not going to attack the author. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. If we all agreed with each other, the world wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining.
    If you’re a writer, be it paid or not, expect criticism of all kinds. People are going to express their opinions about what you write one way or another. The critics seem to think they are personally paying you, and are therefore entitled to either agree with every single word you write or like all of it. It’s quite common at newspapers or magazines for readers to cancel subscriptions because they don’t agree with one thing.
    I remember the first time I was attacked for my writing. A reader sent a raving e-mail that, among other things, called me a dummy. I went into the bathroom and cried for like an hour. My editor told me I have to develop thick skin if I want to be a writer. Now let a bama step to me the wrong way with a criticism. Comments just slide off my back like water. If a person catches me on a good day I let them know they should be an encourager not a discourager.
    You can’t stop the critics. However, I take solace in the simple fact that the harshest one probably can’t construct a well-written response to what was originally posted. That’s why they have to be so rude. Their comments are usually vague in pointing out flaws or focused on one insignificant detail. Constructive criticism, I’m all for. Anything else isn’t worth the effort to hear. Get on my level, and then maybe I’ll listen.

    Reply

    Patrice Reply:

    *Co-Sign*!!!

    Reply

  6. QueenT

    I appreciate diversity in all of its written form. I can debate with the best of them..and I can co-sign it. Keep doing what ya’ll do.

    Reply

  7. Sue

    “If you’re offended by this, forgive me, but I don’t care” Love it. I never read blogs as much before SBM and 3ways (woot woot) but I definitely had a Xanga … (-__-)

    Anyway, I think everyone is entitled to their opinions, Bloggers and Commentators. BUT these damn people making the rude comments have got to go somewhere. Something’s gotta give!

    I mean, if you don’t like what you’re reading, you really can leave. I’m sure you’re not begging for their negativity but they’re always ready to make you eat it. (pause)

    Negative comments piss me off. Especially when they go out of their way to straight up be disrespectful, rude, condescending and what have you. Twitter isn’t a blog but some ideas that I’ve tweet have gotten snide negative replies. Emotions kick in to get at them hard and tell them off, but like Streetz said, you gotta have thick skin when dealing with these cock mongrels. So I just turn the other asscheek.

    “Stick and stones may break your bones..but words…wait who said words won’t hurt you?!” In conclusion, there really is a thin line [for commentators] between having an opinion and being a dick. I never cross that line. I appreciate creative minds, despite how much I may disagree. ^_^ #sukishrug

    Reply

  8. Peyso

    I think there are many stupid ppl in the world. I am sure that it is the number one disease and we need to set up a charity of some kind. I feel that so many negative comments come from stupidity. Yes we know hater isnt in the dictionary and that I didnt use proper syntax but are you going to try to seem like the smart guy on the board so that someone else thinks ur smart rather than just yourself?

    Ppl are losers. Dont sweat it

    Reply

    N.I.A. naturally Reply:

    Ppl are losers. Dont sweat it

    co-sign

    Reply

  9. Smiley Face

    You know that saying “A hit dog will holler”…I think people take things toooooooo personally. They act like you’re defaming their character when you don’t know them from Adam. I love this blog…yeah even CheekZ *smile*, y’all keep things interesting and keep me honest about myself. They’re are some things the draw the instant “what the heyell” out of me but then I step back and try to ask myself what about it bothers me and if there’s any truth to it. I take it at face value….there’s a reason I come on here every morning and check this blog before my work email…SMH…addddiiiccctttiiooon!

    Reply

    Tunde Reply:

    “You know that saying “A hit dog will holler”…I think people take things toooooooo personally. They act like you’re defaming their character when you don’t know them from Adam. ”

    THIS right here. i want to say Reina said something similar on twitter last week. i had similar backlash when i posted my big booty judy blogpost a couple of weeks ago. i promise when authors write posts they really aren’t thinking about you. lol

    Reply

  10. You’re right, you shouldn’t have to start each blog with “this is my opinon…” Because that is a given. This is your PERSONAL site!! The people that attack any blogger personally (dating sites in particular) are also ones that treat “Act Like a Lady and Think Like a Man” as their bible and live by Steve’s word.

    I read this blog daily because I like the writing. I think there is a lot of truth to what you all write, and it’s also very entertaining. I may not agree with or live by every word, but it’s interesting to things from different POVs.

    As a blogger myself, I say ignore the negativity and keep doing what you do!! I know I’ll keep reading!!

    Reply

  11. Lol I’ve been called dummy, whore and even psycho on my blog and when I comment on others. I remember laughing because I know I have gotten to that commenter and that they can’t debate…it gives me a hearty laugh. Even so, I don’t get bothered by the name calling, but my fam raised me to not let words from those who dont care for you affect you.

    I also admit to criticizing a post or two , and I as well don’t really care. Can’t have a decent debate if you are scared of hurting the writers “wittle feewings” lol. Some take it personal when what they write gets negatively critiqued, but keep it moving and press on. I heard the Harry Potter author got rejected like 25 times before she got picked up :-)

    Reply

  12. Awww, who came up on three ways & upset Miss Jenkins?! I am so upset by this, although I did feel guilty when you mentioned the “Do You Intimidate Men” post b/c that was the first time I publicly disagreed with you. However, we both understood that we just didn’t see things the same way, but I still didn’t like having to disagree, although I think I did so in a respectful way.

    Personally, when disagreeing with a Blogger, I always try to be respectful and live by the phrase “treat others as you want to be treated”. I do this because I wouldn’t want someone coming to my blog and personally attacking me for the sake of doing it. I mean it is fine if you disagree but don’t just attack me b/c you don’t know me like that, homes. Also shout out to whoever mentioned YouTube, I actually don’t even bang w/ my YouTube channel like that b/c some of the commentors that dwell on YouTube are just plain rude & unhappy. I have received more negative comments on the 17 vlogs I did there than I have on the 300+ posts on my blog. Ain’t that B?!

    I have now come to the conclusion that those who attack just to do it are simply unhappy & jealous that they can’t do what you did or they agree with you but they are fighting it so they attack you. Either way negative comments are unnecessary and they add nothing to the conversation.

    Miss Jenkins, this was once again a fab post and I will definitely think about what I am saying & how I am saying it before I post comments on 3ways & any other blog I read.

    Reply

  13. Tell ‘em why you mad son!

    I have definitely noticed a few comments every now and then where someone has jumped on here and said something super negative, ignorant and often completely off topic and I find it obnoxious.

    A few months back in fact some idiot (you started it) decided to jump in on the pre-inauguration post about 10 months late, quoted a comment I made in jest, took it out of context, and basically called me and everyone else who commented that day ignorant. #youmad? yeah I was… Of course this person posted anonymously. I was about to say something rude but then Seattle ripped apart their non-argument in the most diplomatic way possible. (Hi-five for that one).

    People tend to talk out their behinds on the internets. Sometimes you have to bite your tongue. You have to know when to let it go. The other day I REALLY wanted to make a funny yet very rude comment over on SingleBlackMale after someone posted a comment with some egregious spelling and grammatical errors but I decided it would be mean spirited so I just laughed to myself and kept it movin.

    Reply

    BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:

    Ms. Cherry wanted to play chin checker huh!?…Lololol

    Reply

  14. I recently had someone make a comment on my blog about my blogger profile. “change to lower case “p” for “Pre crack Whitney in your faves … I thought it was a band”

    This whole blogging thing has really created a sense of community among various people who would probably otherwise never know each other. I like that — I like seeing other people’s ideas and thoughts. At the same time, though, it’s got people thinking that the purpose of commenting is to force their own ideas on others.

    I read blogs as opinions. Opinions that are fodder for conversation. Not opinions stated as facts, not facts that I’m supposed to now implement in my life — but opinions that are free for me to discuss with a whole bunch of other people from other walks of life.

    Folks who take it too seriously and make it their mission to convert any and everyone’s opinion who differs from their own or people who simply complain or criticize writing styles and diction are useless, really. It adds nothing to the conversation. I don’t get why people do that, at all.

    Some of it, I think, has more to do with feelings of inadequacy than anything else… “attack the idea, not the person” is a pretty basic rule of discussion. We all learned that in high school and so we all know you only attack the person for a handful of reasons, most of which are typically your own problem.

    Reply

  15. “It’s just More readers, More problems! It’s a lot of negative energy like my man Seattle said…”

    I’m just messing….LOL

    I like this post. This post definitely speaks to the fact that bloggers, have a human aspect to them. Most readers aren’t thinking of whether the writers take comments personal whether they are overally critical or just providing a straight assholitry comment(I made that up today).

    But to play Devil’s Advocate, I think thats what most of us bloggers need to accept once we are in the realm of blogging. We leave our/yourselves vulernable to the scrutiny of readers who either do not understand that a post is up for an open discussion, an opinion or it simply being for the people. I look at blogging almost as online journalism (no offense to those professional Journalist out there that went to school for this craft). I could only imagine what some journalists on ESPN or SI.com get for giving their opinion about a team or athlete.

    In the world of freedom of speech, open opinions and the blog realm, you will have readers who add depth, a good stance for an debate or you’ll have the assholes.

    Expressing opinions & not critique them,
    -BBW

    Reply

    Miss Jenkins Reply:

    Don’t be coming on here playing devil’s advocate. We don’t like that.

    Reply

    BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:

    LMAO…lolol

    Reply

    The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Destined for Greatness Reply:

    I’ve been saying assholetry for years. #cmonson

    Reply

  16. i agree wit you miss jenkins. there comes a point when you go past debating and disagreeing with a certain point to attacking a person’s character and creativity. i thought the post on which you are speaking about was well written and although i did expect backlash by few i didn’t expect the tirade that took place in the comments section and on twitter. i was taken aback and couldn’t understand why people couldn’t just disagree and state their reasons why or just don’t say anything at all.

    Reply

  17. Remi

    That’s really not cool when people take things to a personal level, especially when it is just a blog. I’ve had someone personally attack me based on a comment I made on a blog before. I called him out on it and moved on b/c I’m not the type to let that ish slide, but I’m also not going to spend all day going back and forth with a dummy.

    I definitely know it can be frustrating to deal with someone like that, but you don’t know them and they don’t know you, so I wouldn’t take it to heart or even be upset by it. Some people don’t understand how to deal with a differing point of view without getting personally offended, so they respond with a personal attack. But that’s their issue, not yours.

    Reply

    Slim Jackson Reply:

    Well said. I don’t like going back and forth, and typically try to stay out of those debacles. I typically get motivated to act or say something when there are few comments or when the negative comment is one of the first ones people will see. I don’t really believe in deleting comments unless someone really ODs, so rather than do that I just let them know that wilding out isn’t cool.

    Reply

    Remi Reply:

    Yeah, that’s a good way to deal with people like that.

    Reply

    Miss Jenkins Reply:

    Indeed. I just like getting all intellectual on that arse and break down the feebleness of their viewpoint. *brushes shoulders off*

    Reply

  18. Anger Management

    I think this is also a reflection of society as a whole. We’ve become so sensitive to everything, you can’t even express an opposing opinion without being labeled a hater, SMH.

    Reply

  19. “I know my opinion is just my opinion. Why don’t you?”

    Word. Like you, I don’t think bloggers should have to sugarcoat their opinion with a disclaimer. It’s redundant and furthermore, all that sugarcoating will give the opinon diabeetus. And no one wants that. I think most blog readers should be intelligent enough to know an opinion when they see one. We learned in elementary school how to decipher an opinion from fact. Why folks folks are forgetting that basic skill is beyond me. lol

    And the need to go personal is frankly, something “personal” with that particular reader. I understand that certain topics can make a reader Carl Thomas emotional. It’s “personal” for them. However, what readers have to realize is that the writers aren’t making it personal toward the reader. They’re just expressing their general opinon. When reading a controversial or potentially inflammatory ,opinionated post, I think readers have to sit back and pause (naw, now that kinda pause…lol), evaluate their reaction to the post before jumping on the blog writer. Because again, they’re not personally attacking the reader. It’s the opinion that the reader has beef with. So, attack (for lack of a better word) the opinion…not the writer.

    Reply

  20. CHeeKZ-Money

    Damn… way to call a ninja out.
    What I say?

    Seriously, when people go on those rants, in real life or in e-life, you just have to accept the fact that they have nothing to offer a conversation and haven’t thought out what you brought to the table.

    As a person whose very being offends people, you just get use to it. They start cutting you off, talking loud, interrupting, changing the point, and committing random acts of dissing (RADs).

    Thought I may no-sign Miss Jenkins often, the only two times I thought the blog was ever ‘unfair’ was during the PWI vs HBCU and the Greeks Wars. Just b/c all three of the writers here are Greek and went to PWI, everything other time there was always a good rebuttal post showing the other side.

    Reply

    Miss Jenkins Reply:

    I was using you as an example of a no-signer who does so in a decent way :)

    Reply

    Remi Reply:

    “committing random acts of dissing (RADs)” – I don’t know why, but this was really funny to me. LOL.

    Reply

  21. Debonair NUPE

    I rather enjoy this post…and not just because Slim is my cousin and he talks to me about it all the time and I do mean ALL THE TIME! None the less, say what you want to say and HOW you want to say it! 3Ways is a welcomed refreshing pause from my ridiculous cycle in the office. Lastly, Blogs, in my opinon, are a way to respectfully express opinions, ideas and thoughts and encourage discussion amongst people who may other wise never have the opportunity to engage in such discussions for one reason or the other. That being said, express yourselves, just respect the fact that others don’t and won’t always have the same perspective.

    and Miss Jenkins, if the hate continues, dont be afraid to drop kick a mofo in the throat!

    WAIT..ONE MORE THING…I didnt get my Eff ‘Em in on Friday cause I was in Dallas at the NBA All Star Game. So please allow me this moment.

    1. Eff Boppers in the airport on their way to the All Star Weekend wearing shirts that say “Youre on my To Do List” and on the back the names Kobe – 99, LeBron -2004, Jordan – 95 are crossed off and Wade is circled with a message saying “Your turn daddy”..who raised or rather FAILED to raise you? Your momma deserves a beat down for allowing you to think that was cute.

    2. Eff the city of Dallas for shutting down every school in the city due to bad roads but still finding the capability to plow the runways at DFW for charter flights of NBA players and plow the back streets leading to hotels, AA arena and Cowboy Stadium..what kind of message is that?

    3. Eff the fact that I paid over $300 to go to the worst slam dunk contest in the history of man! I could have seen better in any park in NY or any highschool gym.

    Reply

    Slim Jackson Reply:

    That dunk contest made me shed tears of disappointment cuz. I didn’t even watch the all-star game until like the 4th quarter because I was so hurt. I think folks in the dunk contest should be fined for getting below a certain score in the competition. That was some of the most bootybunz dunking ever.

    Reply

  22. MeteorMan

    Eh, Miss Jenkins… Brush ‘em off. I def remember that “Hater”, which is not recognized by the dictionary comment. lol

    Reply

  23. Dot Dot Dot

    I’m late but I’ve wanted to respond all day!!!

    Umm… I will admit that when I first started reading ThreeWays, I threw the salt out the window. It was not until a few posts in that I realized that I had just walked into a really long conversation, and I didn’t necessarily get all/any of the inside jokes.

    In some ways, I feel like the conversations had on blogs mirror the conversations had in college dorm main lounges across the country. They’re random, insightful, humorous, serious and deep. The difference is that in person, you can tell if someone is joking or not. In print, it takes a minute before you can tell someone is joking or being sarcastic. There are some people, like the good RCLS for example, who I can never tell if they are being serious or funny… or just seriously funny. I usually walk away confused and thinking “Do guys really think that way?”

    So maybe, it just catches some people off guard. When you read something, you often have an immediate reaction. If people don’t know you, or your blog, they may/probably will take it the wrong way.

    I’m not saying that its ok to call you out like a high school English teacher, but because I was a headscratcher once, I think I can see where they are coming from… maybe… just a smidgen.

    On the other hand, if someone takes the good time to express their opinion, host a forum and cordially respond to others, I think they should be respected. I’m not going to come to your house and kick your white leather couch with my muddy platform shoes.

    In truth, if you don’t like it, you can just click away and no one will ever know you were there…

    Reply

    Slim Jackson Reply:

    “On the other hand, if someone takes the good time to express their opinion, host a forum and cordially respond to others, I think they should be respected. I’m not going to come to your house and kick your white leather couch with my muddy platform shoes.”

    Bingo. I didn’t know how to word this earlier, but this is exactly what I was thinking.

    Reply

  24. I write my own blog and guest write over at Insanity Report once a week in the relationship section (self promotion I kno but i have a point)…my very first post was about women not being b!tches and letting their S/O watch the game in peace and silly tips to keep him happy and so on. I thought it was funny and clever and got RIPPED apart. I was called offensive, narrow-minded, AND given points about how “real women watch sports too.”

    I think that readers are too ready to take things personally instead of taking what they want from it and leaving what they dont. But unfortunately it comes with the territory of writing. I’ll just say if you get that much criticism, you’re prolly doing something right.

    WHEW that’s the longest comment Ive ever written. Just know I feel your pain Miss Jenkins.

    Reply

Leave A Comment...