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That’s a Deal Breaker
It has been a rough weekend. As I post this, I still have a project to work on. Sigh. Anyway, enjoy this goodness.
On Thursday, I was sitting on the train after working a 13 hour day. Needless to say I was tired, but I still kept my eyes peeled and observed my surroundings. As I sat and sized up everyone around me in case I needed to give a police sketch artist a description, this very well dressed and handsome Black man caught my eye. He was sitting a few rows away. Our seats were facing each other, so I had a good view. His waves were spinning; his skin was all clear and chocolately smooth. And even at 8:00 at night, his suit was fresh. As I tried to play cool, I thought:
Damn he is yummy. I wonder if he works near me. What if he gets off at my stop? Wait, how do I look right now? **fixes hair**”
And just like that, my stop came, and sure enough, he stood up too. That’s when it happened. The deal breaker. Dude was like 5’5″, 5’6″ at best. My interest in him left just as quickly as it had arrived. So that got me to thinking, what else could lose a woman’s attention so quickly, just on a visual level? Or maybe just mine. Here goes:
Height
Sorry dudes, but if you are shorter than 5’10″, you need not apply. And 5’10″ is me being generous and accepting the reality that most dudes are not wrapped in 6’3″ or more of tall goodness. Your game could be tighter than Kobe’s or all around like Lebron’s, but that height doesn’t pass the first look. I’m no amazon, but I’m 5’9″. And with some pumps? I’m a good 6′. How would I look with a dude stretching for 5’8″? Silly I say. Just plan silly.
Jacked up teeth
I’m sorry, but it’s not my fault that you eat rocks, or that your mouth gives off that impression. Your front teeth should not look like they are giving each other dap. Nor should they look like they are coated in popcorn butter. Hell naw, you can’t get my number. And dear Lord, please invest in a pack of Orbitz.
Jeans that are tighter than mine
This one gets no love for two reasons. 1. You look suss. And we know how I feel about suss-ness. Skinny jeans are not manly. Period. And 2. As a man, if your stick and balls don’t need any room to breath, are you really working with much? Or let’s say you tuck them or something to get in the jeans. Then I ask you to please reference point 1.
Being Light Skinned
Sike. haha. I love do me a dark skinned man though. What up Streetz?
Braids
A man over 19 should not still be rockin cornrows with zig parts. Really though? **steps back** Wait, are those beads on the end?? Oh hell no. Let it go dude. Get you a good Caesar and keep it moving.
Weight
I like my men big, but I don’t need to see your man boobs and love handles squeezing through your shirt. Get a bigger shirt, and a gym membership.
We all know that you have to be at least physically attracted to someone (at least a little bit) before you even think about letting them approach you, or trying to holla at him or her. What are some of your deal breakers? Share those “I know that (dude or girl) did not try to talk to me lookin like that” stories. And happy Monday!
I sure hope his teeth aren’t throwing up gang signs,
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Yep my friends and I are always asking men their weight and giving the thumbs up if he is pushing 2 and looking good. Height is def up there, I likes ‘em tall too. Everything you said was on point.
Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany
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Co-sign on all of the above with an extra emphasis on the teeth.
Lord knows I tried, and tried, and TRIED but I can not date a man who’s smile looks like he ate straight egg yolk, smell worst than manure, and they teeth are so jacked up that if I give you a can of food I’m d*mn sure your teeth can open them up with no hesitation! Fellas, there’s something called white strips, Sonic tooth brush, extra strength Listerine, and clear braces.
Height and weight are my #2. I may not be a gorgeous amazonian like Miss Jenkins but I am 5’6″ and wear heels no less then a 5 inch, with that said I love a tall man, if you’re 5’8″ and under keep it moving.
If a man doesn’t work out I question his masculinity. I may not have Kim Kardashian’s body but I sure do work out consistently and am thisclose in achieving something as close to it; I love a mans upper body when they work out, those shoulders, arms, biceps, OMG!!! The chest, delicious. Those abs, you’re making me sweat. The penis muscles? D*mn you Usher for always flaunting them and for making me weak in the knees and having me trip all the time when I see them #flashback (oh and what I’m talking about is the “v-cut” or “Ursher cuts)
My only automatic turn off: (hope I don’t offend any one) is him not being black. I don’t date anything but brothers. Why? Have y’all sexy black males with amazing dimples, smiles, tall, dark, light skinned ever looked at your self? #nuffsaid
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Damn son, hating on us ‘shorties’ lmfao… It’s all good, I’m a giant laying down POW lol
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Lola Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:53 am
“it’s all good, I’m a giant laying down POW lol”
That is just too funny! It’s not that we hate on you, we just have our preferences.. I’m sure you have yours too
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LOL@this WHOLE post..
“throwin up gang signs..” CLASSIC!!
i hear you on the teeth- i go to the basketball court almost every saturday morning.. and there’s this dude there and the butter on his teeth is SO severe that when he drinks Gatorade, it dyes (sp?) his teeth red.. cuz the plaque has taken on that color.. WTF IS THAT!?!?!?! that’s MADNESS I TELL YOU, MADNESS!!!!
not only do tight jeans render you un-screwable in my book.. but honestly, i truly believe them things need room to breathe.. and you suffocating them in the neon yellow jeans (true story) makes me think 1. you got nothin but a twig and berries.. and 2. that there’s an “aroma” from being cooped up.. that’s a negative!
not that i look like Melyssa Ford or Esther Baxter but i work out (i eat good too tho) and if you don’t, i’m gonna have an issue.. i like doing outdoors-y things and if i can’t hike with you because you might start wheezing with me.. then report to Houston, because we have a problem..
that height is a big one.. because men are supposed to be the protectors.. and honestly, how can you protect me if you’re the one closest to the ground.. and the bullet hits me first cuz i was tallest.. that’s just rude..
wrinkled clothes.. i MIGHT give you a second chance because you had an “off day” (heck, we all do.. don’t we? anyone??) i’m not asking for an ascot and a pocket square.. but can some heat find your shirt?? that’ll be cool.. were you just in a wrestling match? was your momma getting held up and you fought for her safety.. “no?” then why are your clothes wrinkled??
i don’t want to say many things upfront (other than what you’ve said) are deal breakers for me.. but let’s just say i notice the little things..
are your nails clean? if not, is it because you’re a mechanic?? i’ve changed my own brakes and guess what? my hands got clean the same night..
i don’t meet a lot of men (florida is sad) so i can’t say what a dealbreaker is right off the bat.. a lot of things come up in conversation and THAT’S when the real dealbreakers pop in…
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Toni Childs Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:06 am
“i hear you on the teeth- i go to the basketball court almost every saturday morning.. and there’s this dude there and the butter on his teeth is SO severe that when he drinks Gatorade, it dyes (sp?) his teeth red.. cuz the plaque has taken on that color.. WTF IS THAT!?!?!?! that’s MADNESS I TELL YOU, MADNESS!!!!”
OK so here’s what Imma need you to do. Go to Target and get one of those plaque scraping kits (with the mirror) and slip it in his gym bag NEXT SATURDAY. This is not ok and is indeed a public health concern.
The universe will thank you for this good deed. Promise.
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Nick_L_Odeon Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:37 am
the crazy thing is.. this is the SAME dude whose lips are dry (water) and who has that spittle in the corner of his mouth when he’s talkin to you.. i can’t even look him in the face..
and since i’m THAT chick.. i ask my homeboy “ya’ll boys, you can’t tell him anything about a dentist?” but since we’re dealing with men.. they hate the dentist WORSE than they hate the doctor.. ijustcan’t.. it’s SO nasty!!
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Toni Childs Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 2:50 pm
that visual just made me throw up in my mouth a little.
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first off i feel for any man that is vertically challenged. i was blessed with being heads and shoulders above the crowd. i couldn’t imagine being out the running based on my height. oh well.
i agree with you on teeth. that’s one of the first things i notice about a woman. if your grill is jacked i just can’t do it. i’ll just be staring at her teeth. ewwl.
another thing that could be a quick fix. eyebrow maitenence. please don’t walk around like you have two catepillars on your face. smh.
oh yea and weight. i know it’s wrong but big girls need not apply. sorry but no haps.
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Teeth matter. Definitely. Absolutely. Why do I want to kiss you with your mouth looking a mess? Chile, boo.
I’m not going to say guys need to be a certain height but I will say that, while I’m only 5’5, I want to be able to put on my 4.5″ freakum pumps and not tower over him. With that said there is a little man epidemic in SoCal right now, so I may be opting for a sensible wedged heel soon, lol. So, as long as he’s taller than me, height is not a deal breaker.
As for weight, I don’t really discriminate. It depends on how he carries himself, honestly. Since I’m a plus sized woman, I can’t accept an unkept, slovenly, or shmedium shirt wearing larger guy. I know that you can carry yourself better than that b/c I carry myself well. No excuses. Basically, whatever your weight, be the best in your category, lol.
My biggest deal breaker is writing and reading skills. You don’t have to be on NY Times editor status but just basic skills, lol. I will soon be an English professor and, though I’m far from perfect, I can’t see myself with a man that seriously can’t tell the difference between in/and/an/end and their/there/they’re. There are only so many times you can blame those things on typos until I think you just don’t give a f^ck. I don’t care that it’s just Twitter or a text message.(Okay, so maybe I’m a little jaded after dating a guy with piss-poor language skills.)
Another big deal breaker– thugs, gangstas, trap stars, goons, goblins, and other creatures that go bump in the night. Just go. Now. Good day, sir.
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My deal breaker is bad brands. If you are wearing Exco, G-Unit, Cross Colors, and the like please do not burn out my eye-sockets by standing too closely to me.
But my ultimate, no questions asked, I don’t care what else you have going for you deal breaker is bad shoes.
It’s not that the shoes have to be box-fresh (although they should be) but dutty shoes cannot gwan with me. And nothing kills a well-dressed man faster than cheap shoes. You don’t have to come with the O.J. Simpson Bruno Maglis but if I can tell from ten feet away that they’re not even leather, please keep it moving.
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Your list is almost identical to mine……cept I would switch out the light skin discrimination (I loves all shades of black) for a guy who has on a Celtic jersey…..yes, really. Lol
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Anonymous Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:07 am
Any man who gets w/a female that likes the Boston Celtics is a douche! Hell, any female that prefers a guy in a Celtic Jersey over any type of BLACK MAMBA is probably alone more often than not…
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The Honorable and Rather Articulate Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, LLC, Dark as the Night that covers me Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:29 am
Tell ‘em why you mad son…
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:55 am
I would never talk to a man in a Kobe jersey. That ish says “whiny bitch” all over it!
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The Honorable and Rather Articulate Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, LLC, Dark as the Night that covers me Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 3:10 pm
#iseewhatyoudidthere, Nia. I don’t approve, but I see…
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LOL!
I concur on the height thing. If you are shorter than me….its a wrap!
I don’t like the lighter skin man…I am soo fair skinned all by myself. I am looking for something to contrast with this..ya know?
Although with Streetz, I could make an exception
I see you Streetz!
LOL.
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“And just like that, my stop came, and sure enough, he stood up too. That’s when it happened. The deal breaker. Dude was like 5?5?, 5?6? at best.”
This cracked me the hell up. I chortled.
“Being Light Skinned”
I also imagined Streetz havin’ something to say about this. lol
My Dealbreakers:
- Height. Yes, height. And I’m not asking too much since I’m 5’3”. All I ask is that he’s taller than me when I’m in heels, which aren’t that high as far as what heels I usually wear. Probably an average of 3 – 4 in.
- Goons. It’s hilarious because that’s who have the most courage in terms of hollering, but they get turned down errtime by me, in more ways than one.
Ok, so I might flirt with ‘em from time to time. Blame it on the Jamie Foxx Juice.I can enjoy the “occasionally down” brotha, but I don’t want someone who thinks wearing his best pair of grills equals “dressing up.”Reply
I cant knock your list but why folk hating on us less dark folk?
My list:
Big girls: SHE MUST BE SMALLER THAN ME AND CARRY IT WELL. Anyone who knows me, knows that this standard leaves alot of room. If I cant pick it up, I cant get it up.
Unpolished Women: I knwo ppl wear sweats to run to the store but fix yourself up if its time to go out.
Brown girls w/ good skin: I feel like Eve looked like this. This is how woman are supposed to look
Athletic: Not brawlic just athletic. I think its b/c in my genetic mind, they would have the best genes
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I don’t care about skin complexion or race. These are non factors. Here’s my list.
Hair styles. Generally I don’t care about hair, but please no garnet and black or blue and silver hair braids.
No gold teeth.
Weight. No lunch lady arms. I can’t.
Make up. If your face is done up like a pro-wrestler from the 80′s keep walking.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 9:37 am
*dead* at lunch lady arms.
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Cheekie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:16 am
“Weight. No lunch lady arms. I can’t.”
Not lunch lady arms! I wish I knew how to quit you.
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Wu Young Agent of M.E. Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:19 pm
“I wish I knew how to quit you”
You can’t quit me Cheekie, I’m that heron in your veins.
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Cheekie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
I feel like Diana Ross in “Lady Signs the Blues” right nah.
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Wu Young Agent of M.E. Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:40 pm
If you keep replying to my comments you’ll end up stealing copper pipes and falling asleep in corners in no time.
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Cheekie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 1:11 pm
That’s not cute. Oh, wait…
Dammit!
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My list:
Smokers. If I notice you from across the room, we lock eyes, and I begin to approach, then see you light up a cancer stick, I’mma take a left.
Clothes that are not appropriate for your size. I don’t discriminate on full-figured v. athletic, for me it’s about personality, but c’mon…just wear something that compliments you and your body, whatever that is.
Hair show-type hairstyles. Sorry, but if you have blue and pink streaks (true story) in the rooster’s comb that is sitting on top of your head, keep it moving. You just look silly. You have no idea how common this is in the D.
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Reecie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 9:40 am
ha yeah I’m totally turned off by cancer stick smokers as well. but only those. lol
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QueenT Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 3:44 pm
YES!
GO NOW!
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streetztalk Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Yeah smokers get the el curvo… lol.
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“can’t wear skinny jeans cuz my knots don’t fit” ~Hov
I can get with all of these. I’m not a tall woman, so height doesn’t bother me, but I’ve grown much appreciation for a tall man
. shortest guy I’ve ever dated was 5’7. I would usually attract the 5’9-6’1 range but I’m equal opportunity, as long as you are taller than me –which isn’t hard to be since I’m right under 5’3. shorties rock!
Braids? childish. the end.
I’m with Max on the bad brands. I like a man with some style about him period. it doesn’t have to be expensive and flossy (not really a urban brand/ lots of logo kinda girl) but understated and just your own works for me…
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LLS, what’s a girl to do!!!
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You know something Jenkins… LOL
I inadvertedely carry this light skinned cross with the 3 ways community. I get abused here. All my sisters and mom is Jenkins complexion, so I suffer from racism in my family. I can’t believe you would consider my immacualte skintone (and clear skin no bumps etc) a dealbreaker! Yall know I tan in the summer right?
lol
Bad BREATHE! If your breathe is kicking like Liu Kang, go…THATAWAY!!
Cosign Tunde on the weight thing. No disrespect, but a big girl is not my cup o tea.
A shrieky voice – If when you speak u sound like a Vuvuzela, I’m done. Can’t have my ears bleeding when you speak.
Smelly Cat – Even Phoebe woudl be disgusted.
Think I got more but idk.
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The Law Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 9:58 am
*stands with streetztalk holding his fist in the air*
I can’t believe the level of light-skin hate on this site. Catch me about mid-June, when I’m gbd (golden brown and delicious). Shout to Alton Brown.
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Nick_L_Odeon Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:21 am
Smelly Cat – Even Phoebe would be disgusted.
**Dead**
i’m not light skinned (not really).. but DANG at all the comments the skin gets..
sorry streetz.. i know that cross is gettin heavy..
tans are great though.. my skin “glows” a nice red color when i get one.. i pray that the sun finds you quickly..
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MadScientist7 Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:48 am
i get side-eyed often when i say i would never date a big girl. like i’m not allowed to have preferences. i’m sure you’re a good person and you have a great personality but don’t get mad at me because i know what i like/want.
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streetztalk Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Im just saying… I don’t want to wear a back brace when gettin it poppin.
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Cheekie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
“i get side-eyed often when i say i would never date a big girl. like i’m not allowed to have preferences. i’m sure you’re a good person and you have a great personality but don’t get mad at me because i know what i like/want.”
Yeah, but I’m sure you know why that is. No one would ever get a side-eye if they said, “Skinny chicks need not apply”. It’s usually when the more oppressed group is slighted, the side-eyes are thrown. Kinda like Black women versus White women.
But yeah, I getcha on preferences. We all have ‘em and sure it makes us shallow, but so what? Shallowness is great sometimes. Because it makes it less likely to drown.
(Speaking of shallowness in terms of dating, I need to write a post on this in the near future)
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MadScientist7 Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:40 pm
” It’s usually when the more oppressed group is slighted”
so you think big people are more oppressed than skinny people?
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Cheekie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 1:13 pm
In terms of what society deems beautiful, well…yeah. Maybe “oppressed” is not the right word?
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streetztalk Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:51 pm
Dont get it twisted. Stick figures need not apply also. I dont wanna catch a case for snappin a chick in 2… or hearing complaints about “I can’t take it”
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MadScientist7 Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:56 pm
i heard that skinny chicks be having…
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Seattle Washington Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 1:25 pm
Yep. In my opinion, skinny women “handle” things better than their thicker counterparts.
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MadScientist7 Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 4:18 pm
for the most part i’ve had similar experiences as well.
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Cheekie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 1:15 pm
“Dont get it twisted. Stick figures need not apply also.”
Yeah, but my point is, I bet your above comment wouldn’t get as much flack as the “big girls need not apply” comment. You see why folks have to put the “I’m not an a*shole, seriously!” disclaimer up there. lol
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MadScientist7 Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 1:31 pm
maybe you’re right but big girls can get mad all they want at people’s preferences. it still won’t make a difference. all it really does is make them look/sound bitter.
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Cheekie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
Yup, I feel ya, like I said, when it comes down to it, we all have preferences. Folks may not like those preferences, but it is what it is.
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QueenT Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 3:47 pm
if you’re built like JJ Evans from “Good Times” you needn’t step to me…..
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:35 pm
I used to say I would never date a skinny dude. Fit/athletic, yes. Skinny, no. But then, I realized skinny dudes are…um, let’s just say, they carry major luggage. I’ve since changed my position.
I still prefer athletic/football build, but I want pass on a skinny fella. LOL!
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MadScientist7 Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:38 pm
yeah. when it comes to that body type really doesn’t have an influence.
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:42 pm
Oh, you don’t have to tell me sir.
It’s funny, b/c I prefer the fit football build, but I’ve only dated skinny, basketball/soccer player builds. Go figure. I guess I just like to look at the football types, but prefer the company of the slim, athletic frame.
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Reecie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:44 pm
short dudes carry a lot of luggage too. #justsayin so like Tunde said I’m guessing that doesn’t have an influence either! lol
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:46 pm
the shortest I guy I’ve ever dated was 6’0. So, I will have to take your word for it. lol.
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QueenT Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
LOL! poor baby
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Satya Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
uhhh me myself personally, I like the lighter hugh brothers. I think they accent my caramel goodness well =)
LMAO @- “A shrieky voice – If when you speak u sound like a Vuvuzela”
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My dealbreakers:
1) Dirty Fingernails! we are over 4 years old….wash your hands (even if you’re in construction…there’s purell)
2)Any man that starts off yelling at me trying to get my attention “yo ma!” <— shows me you have no respect for women.
3)too skinny <– i like dudes with muscles or husky but masculine
4) Unkept hair <– you get on the ladies for their appearance…please do us a favor and take care of yours
5) Dreads <–I can NOT stand dreads. A man to me has to have low cut hair… Has to have
6) Bad teeth = unattractive
7) Hips <– i have the hips in the relationship therefore you shouldnt lol
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olivya23 Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:01 am
Haha! I just saw a dude this weekend with hips and I mean HIPS! I felt bad for him a little.
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Little Miss Sunshine Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:06 am
mwhahaah hips.
I have a friend with baby producing hips… and welp.
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Good list!
My deal breakers:
Dirt under the fingernails. I can’t understand why men (some not all) don’t clean under there.
Large men. Like LARGE! I just can’t do it. While i’m at it, skinny men. If I can easily pick you up, then it’s a problem.
Small legs. I know some people can’t help it. But I can’t do chicken legs, I need some muscle or definition.
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Cheekie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
“Large men. Like LARGE! I just can’t do it. While i’m at it, skinny men. If I can easily pick you up, then it’s a problem. ”
LOL, this me. I can’t deal with extremes.
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Good list, Miss Jenkins!
My list…
1. Height. I’m 5’7, and with heels, I’m a good 5’10 or 5’11. Which means dude would have to be at least 6ft. Sorry brothers, but I feel funny looking down on dudes. Like I’m dominating you, or something. No bueno.
2. Weight. Not fat, not skinny, but just right. Question is, can you pick me up, and keep me there? I’m a sucker for LB/OLB type of build. I DVRed the NFL draft. lol.
3. Braids. No bueno!! If you are over the age of 12, you should not wear cornrows or any other braided style.
4. Smokers. Cigarettes, that is. Everything else, I can deal with…in moderation.
5. Unhealthy eaters. I like to indulge sometimes, but not all the time.
I’m sure I have more, but I’ll be here all day. lol
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The Honorable and Rather Articulate Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, LLC, Dark as the Night that covers me Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 3:07 pm
4. Smokers. Cigarettes, that is. Everything else, I can deal with…in moderation.
**In Giant Fly from Family Guy voice**: Exxxcellent. Exxxcellent.
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SUPPORT. This entire list.
I now this is a little biased but sue me- I’m deal broken by a man on the train at 9am who has on sweats or gym shoes. I can’t help but wonder if he’s unemployed.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:00 pm
Lol. Maybe he’s a personal trainer? *shrugs*
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I heart Miss Jenkins
This was awesome! definitely my visual turn-offs. The ‘skinny jeans’ movement must end. Promptly. (Mase voice)
I’d add (some have stated already)
-Cigaretts
-Flip Phones (sorry, I’m gadget girl)
-Jerseys (seriously?)
-Color contacts (Jodeci is gone)
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Cheekie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:20 pm
*dying* @ “flip phones”. These obscure dealbreakers are kinda making me like ya’ll more.
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nyhoop Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
This guy was trying to get my number hard the other day. Whips out his circa 2003 flip phone…ummm….yeah… wasn’t feeling him anyway, but that was just icing on the cake, lmao!
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Cheekie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 2:54 pm
I was dying before but now I’m *DEAD*
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Satya Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 4:04 pm
a guy tried to holla at me in Kings Plaza and had a notepad. his phone was “getting fixed” lmao!
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Please Excuse Your Significant Other Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 4:22 pm
That’s what you get for being in Kings Plaza
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Cheekie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 4:22 pm
lmfao @ notepad. And what’s funny is when I wrote that, I thought of a digital notepad and was like “Ok, what’s wrong”. Damn, I completely effing forgot about regular paper notepads for a minute there. This damn future, I tell ya…
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Just a quick note: the light skinned comment in the post was just a jokey-joke. I loves fine mens, no matter the shade.
And yes, I did type mens.
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Let me cosign on the teeth, braids, and weight. Oh, and throw them skinny jeans on the list as well. Two of the other big ones are gold teeth and dreads. There is really nothing wrong with dreads, they’re just not my cup of tea (much like Tunde and the big girls). It’s not a physical attribute, but staring at me to the point where it is creepy will turn me off and using the word sexy 5 times in your first sentence will as well.
Other than that small list, as long as there is some sort of attraction to you, I won’t count you out. As long as your 5’4 above, we’re straight.
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It’s funny you wrote this homie because I was formulating my own list the other day.
I won’t go on and sound like Jerry Seinfeld, but my biggest pet peeve is hands. I’ve been completely turned off at a woman’s hands before.
I met a beautiful B-list celeb once time and I shirked at the size of her hands. They were like carni hands. They were the size of my 8 year old goddaughter’s. Her whole hand was the size of my palm. It freaked me out.
On the other hand I met a gorgeous woman with the biggest and roughest hands I’ve ever felt on a woman. It seemed as if she played patty cake with a brick wall every morning before she went to work. After holding her hand for a brief moment, I drifted off to what it would feel like if she touched me when were horizontally dancing and I shuddered. Needless to say, it didn’t go much further after that.
So yeah, hands. I need my woman to have nice hands.
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Reecie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
I am a hands person also. When I was younger I used to joke that I had old lady hands but really exfoliation and sunscreen on hands can improve a situation, just an FYI. oh and a decent manicure.
but in re: the celebrity: if her hands were small maybe its because she is small all over? were her feet small too? I dunno but I love the fact that my man’s hands are a lot larger than mine… ok weird fetish moment over, lol.
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QueenT Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
LoL….
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Satya Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 4:07 pm
OMG I just choked laughing at this!
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Cheekie Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 4:25 pm
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ok, so how would you describe nice hands? I know the size is a dealbreaker, but what about other features? Such as stubby/long fingers?
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(Sigh) as a short guy (5’9 with the soul of a 6’4 nagga word to T.I.P) i can understand why women would want a taller guy cuz dammit i dont want a woman i have to look up to but on the same note while height is something you cant change and that is a prefrence when i tell people that i dont like dating single mothers i get hit with a barrage of insults. I mean height is something that you cant change and neither are kids just my opinion.
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SaneN85 Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 4:57 pm
Interesting comparison, I’d never really thought about it like that. Then again, I’ve never been too worried about height (as long as I’m not towering above him) and I don’t have kids. *shrugs*
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The Don Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
I nver really thought about the height thing but when i heard it I understood it because hey in all honesty somebody would try me before they would try Shaquille O Neal and i get that.
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I co-sign this entire list.
I know ppl may give me the side eye when I say that i’m 5’0 and have a 5’11 cut off. Since i’m so short I usually have on heels, but even at the tallest I may be 5’6 and still want a tower over me. What can I say–I like to climb
Also, body is a deal breaker. I don’t do fat…and if ur hip bones are jutting out I can’t talk either. Even on the in betweens…u need to be hitting the gym because I’m not with the ‘soft as a marshmallow’ movement.
I saw a grown ass man in a throwback jersey and cornrows today tryna holler at me. NO suh Mr. Urban Youth, u need to stop with all of that.
Crooked a** teeth…I saw a fine ass man, caught his eye and then he smiled and I swear I curled back in fear.
Lastly, if a man is wearing those long azz shorts in the summer–LADIES u know what i’m taking about…they hit RIGHT at the mid shin and are so wide around the bottoms that I could probably crawl into one leg (not that i’d want to! shudders!). That is a bloody mess. I don’t care how fine you are. How did you manage to step out wearing those clamdiggers? lmfao
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I am in agreement with the teeth. Mine may not be the best but my breath don’t stank and I do not look like I have been chewing rocks.
Damn, I can’t think of anything else… Do I not have standards? *embarrased* Maybe they will come up later…
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HURRAY for nice teeth.
I have big teeth, and I’ll be damned if they aren’t always bright and beautiful, so why shouldn’t I expect a man’s to be the same? I don’t care if they aren’t perfect. I know not everyone has had braces, but you can at least keep them white. Your behind is too old to still be scared of the dentist. And if your teeth are just plain ratchetly raggedy, you better learn how to smile with your eyes…even though I still won’t date you.
Also, I’m 5’1” but I like my men to be at least pushing 6 feet. What can I say? My daddy’s 6’2″ (and my mom’s 5’2″ so I got this from her), so if you’re under 5’10″, you need not even look this way.
I’m co-signing everything on this list btw, especially about the spittle in the corners of the mouth (Paul Pierce at the free throw line, Game 7 anyone?) or anything even near the mouth that isn’t clear skin or neatly kept facial hair. Invest in a napkin. They come in packs.
One last thing major thing for me: Smokers. It stinks, you stink, and I’m not trying to smell that….Now if it rhymes with Sugar Cane, I can sorta dig it.
That’s all.
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