80 Responses to “Don’t You Have A Man?!”

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  1. Men lie, women lie, numbers don’t. I think both men and women cheat in equal numbers. The difference is that women are better at hiding it….. It’s grimy, but it’s the unfortunate truth.

    I cheated on my college bf after I found out he cheated on me, and told that chick personal ish about me. Had that chick smiling in my face, knowing damn well they were effing. I made sure to make him believe I had moved past it, and when everything was going “good”, I did me, and then broke up with him without giving him a real reason. And I didn’t feel bad about it, either. Yeah, it’s dirty, but I was a much younger chica and I wanted to get back at him and get some quality face time from a man who knew how to enjoy a good meal

    Nowadays, I do not condone such behavior, and I believe it is better to leave the situation than to stoop to his low level. Unfortunately, a lot of women like the security of having a man at home, and the excitement of stepping out once in a while…

    Reply

    Streetztalk Reply:

    Thrill seeking is a great addition. Forgot about that one!

    and you a freak Nia…lol jk!

    Reply

    Nicki Sunshine Reply:

    That crossed out line has me cracking up.

    But I agree- women are definitely better at it.

    Reply

    CHeeKZ knows he needs Jesus, but plz don't point the finger at the bad guy Reply:

    N.I.A. I am shocked!
    But in a good way. Truth be told, leaving someone right after doing the do is clearly not as grimey.

    But how did you find out ol boy cheated and the details of him telling her your biz?

    Reply

    N.I.A. is so vain, she probably thinks this song is about her.... Reply:

    The first time I heard about it, the other broad told me…on some “I just want to let you know the truth about your man” bullshyt, and she mentioned how she knew I was going thru some personal family ish, and she’s so sorry…o_O. I went to him immediately, and he lied about it, said she was crazy and jealous, blah blah blah bullshyt. Then one of my friends caught him and confronted him, so he had to come home to tell me b/c he knew my girl would.

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  2. I actually know a girl who had a boyfriend and would talk to him on the phone lying about where she was while she lay naked with another man/rode him/sucked his piece. She’s now married.

    Reply

    Streetztalk Reply:

    Then we must know the same girl because ______________***

    *** The rest of the post has been edited to protect my fellow cocksmen the innocent.

    Reply

    Miss Jenkins Reply:

    Poor sucka man.

    Reply

    CHeeKZ Reply:

    SLIM! Shut up! LMAO. That is dry snitching.

    They are perfectly happy. More proof that you can mess around at a young age and still make a young man happy one day as long as you keep your secrets to yourself….. I think she wore white too. Slutty girls can make amazing housewives if THEY want the change.

    Reply

    Streetz alias Young Hispañola Reply:

    lmaooo I mean if they’re happy I guess…lmaoo
    I got stories for days!

    Reply

    Renee Reply:

    I bet to this day he doesn’t suspect a thing. That’s a girl who knows how to keep her hoes in check. #1 rule, don’t change your routine, that’s why men get caught. Ya’ll start missing phonecalls or taking 4hrs to call back.

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    Miss Jenkins Reply:

    Then again, once a cheater, always a cheater?

    Reply

    Renee Reply:

    I don’t agree with that statement. That’s such a generalization. People change and mature with age, then come kids, your not going to be out getting hot in the club at 28 the way you did when you were 21.

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  3. I’ve never stepped out on my man… but I am friends with men who’ve had this occur to them and I’ve had an associate do it to her man.. she did it because he’d cheated on her in the past and although she said she forgave him, it seems that she never did… plus, she felt like he wasn’t being the MAN (read: provider) in their relationship and I think she wanted to get out and find something better.

    A cheater is a cheater is a cheater… those women get no sympathy from me. If you are lying, then your a&& is grimy. Period.

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  4. Just getting it in for kicks is one thing, but fostering a whole relationship with someone while never mentioning you got a man at home is a p-roblem. That’s above and beyond grimy, as far as I’m concerned. Now you’re pulling an innocent person in to your mess. #fail.

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  5. The women who are the subject of this post could be doing a few things:

    1. shopping with the option to buy: she is planning on breaking up with dude and is looking for her new piece;

    2. She is just trying to see she still got it (yes women do this too), or

    3. She’s just a woman with wandering eyes and wants a J.O.

    All of which have a twinge of grime. But its not more or less grimey than when a man does it. I hate the cheating/creeping double standard. If you are not happy where you are, stay faithful and unhappy or chuck the deuces. Its not that complicated.

    Reply

    Streetztalk Reply:

    I cosign. Its all one in the same regardless.

    Check yo email Jenkins!

    Reply

    Miss Jenkins Reply:

    my bad son.

    Reply

    Smiley Face Reply:

    Yes ma’am…you took the words right outta my mouth.

    Reply

    Nicki Sunshine Reply:

    ” If you are not happy where you are, stay faithful and unhappy or chuck the deuces. Its not that complicated.”

    Exactly- this is my mantra.

    Reply

    CHeeKZ Reply:

    Its never that simple.

    Some times you have alot invested in that relationship and you can’t let it go b/c of social factors, emotionally, finances. After years of dragging on this ‘relationship’ is ended with this girl and I found a more complete relationship that I don’t need to creep on. However, my worst fears about leaving that girl came true. Only regret is I didn’t do more dirt.

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    Miss Jenkins Reply:

    “Some times you have alot invested in that relationship and you can’t let it go b/c of social factors, emotionally, finances.”

    Not sometimes, all the time. But adults make hard choices and complicated decisions all the time. Dragging on a relationship that blows chunks is not complicated, its silly and a waste of time.

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  6. good list (especially Tiff’s add ons)

    I’ll add another though, boredom. I knew a girl that had a dude for YEARS, went from distance, to living together, and she STILL kept a side joint. I never understood why she never broke up with him. They may still be together but I don’t know because she acts like a single woman. smh.

    Anyway people cheat because they want to, period. its about being greedy and selfish. The bottom line reasons don’t vary from male to female. Like it was said before women probably are better at keeping it a secret, thats all…

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  7. BlueFlame

    I had a friend that cheated on her boyfriend with another guy. She was honest with the dude up front though that she was in a relationship. She rationalized her cheating by using the examples you provided above. Her boyfriend was abusive, they weren’t connecting “emotionally,” he was cheating etc. I guess the new dude thought that he could be Captain Save ‘Em. They would go on dates and eff regularly for about 6 months. They definitely had a better mental connection but her and her boyfriend had a better physical connection. Guess which guy won…
    Her sidepiece would always ask me why she was still with her boyfriend and i told dude that he deserved better than her and he just needed to move on bc she was a lost cause. (We aren’t friends anymore due to things with her current boyfriend…they have a mutually hostile relationship…i couldn’t be around that ish…)
    Needless to say…they are still together 4 years later…both cheating and beating on each other…

    Reply

    Miss Jenkins Reply:

    Damn. That’s deep.

    Pause.

    Reply

  8. BabyImAStar

    I am currently in this exact same situation for reason number 1. My significant other is everything I want EXCEPT for the fact that he is much too busy. He works an opposite schedule than I do and he referees for 3 different sports. So that means not much time left for me. I respect that he is on the grind and it is actually a turn on however, I do have needs that are not being met. Things even as simple as going to dinner, going to movies, having a date at a wedding, or birthday parties ,watching TV together etc. So I have a “stand-in” that has the time. I’m not sleeping with number 2 just dating, so I don’t feel like I am technically cheating and it all works until things change with my honey.

    Reply

    Slim Jackson Reply:

    Define dating?

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    Streetz alias Young Hispañola Reply:

    no shots but ur #2 is a classic simp to the nth degree. itheres no way I’m chillin with a wifed up chick and not hittin…what’s the point?!! Smfh!!

    I’m in transit not sure if imahave time to check comments, so let me thank you all in advance for your input [ll]

    Reply

    The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Shine So Bright I Gotta Tint My Mirrors Reply:

    We checked w/ the judges…that’s cheating.

    Like Ms. Jenkins said, either deal with it or chuck the dueces. You can’t have it both ways…either you understand he’s on the grind and be patient, or let him know his not meeting your needs and that you are walking.

    Streetz, dude could be a simp, or he could be a stealthy cocksman. While he may not be hittin right now, it’s probably only a matter of time before she breaks up w/ dude or just goes ahead and “do her”. All the while he’s playing w/ the houses money, got his feet up on this dude’s coffee table, drinkin up all his soda n sh*t. If you go to Vegas and they give you 10 G’s and you blow it all, what have you really lost?

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    BabyImAStar Reply:

    With all due respect, I beg to differ AWRCLX.. it is not cheating.
    If I had a male friend before I met my honey and we continued to be friends and hang out after I met my honey, would it be cheating? No, it would simply be hanging out with a male friend, which is exactly what I am doing now. I don’t have the totality of a real relationship with my #2 friend that I have with my honey. We don’t take care of each other when were sick, or exchange gifts, or cook together or for each other, we don’t hang out with each other’s family etc. We simply hang out, and enjoy each other’s company that’s it. And why would I chuck the deuces with a man who, as I said is everything I want, because his schedule is not ideal. That’s like throwing the baby out with the bath water hmm-no bueno.

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    The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Shine So Bright I Gotta Tint My Mirrors Reply:

    Lol…he’s clearly not everything you want because you are hanging out w/ #2, who has the title of #2. If he was just a friend, that would be his title…”friend”. If he’s not doing all that other relationship stuff, I don’t see what service he’s providing or has the potential to provide that hanging with a homegirl can’t provide. And I’m of the opinion that once you’re in a relationship, all that “he/she’s just my friend” stuff is BS, so I’m not too kosher with all that hanging out w/ other people unless I know them well or it’s on some catching up after a while ish. Those people arent friends, they are laying in wait til the SO effs up. Take it from a Cocksman.

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    Smiley Face Reply:

    Wash, rinse..repeat!

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    CHeeKZ Reply:

    Lex is wise.

    Wise Indeed.

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    Tunde Reply:

    does her “honey” know about dude #2? if he doesn’t then its cheating point blank. stop making excuses for her. lol

    also i hate this phrase: “he/she’s everything i could hope for except…”

    if thats the case then they aint all you hoped for.

    Reply

    CHeeKZ Reply:

    That ninja is Gay!
    Honestly if he was gay that would be fine…
    but what kind of man spends time with a woman and doesn’t get any..

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    Smiley Face Reply:

    Does ‘honey’ know you’re ‘dating’?

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    Slim Jackson Reply:

    I’m not judging you, but dating a friend sounds a lot like it’s headed to friends with benefits. I’m also curious if you go to this friend for relationship advice as it pertains to your boo.

    This is an interesting situation. I have so many questions.lol.

    Reply

    Smiley Face Reply:

    Slim “I have so many questions.lol.”
    Me too!

    Reply

    Streetz, alias Big POP-a Reply:

    he might be using you as a hobby chick. The hobby chick is the chick that you work on while breaking off the rest of your clientele. Similar to a jigsaw puzzle, or knitting a scarf, or some shyt.

    3wayscrew yall can run with that

    Reply

  9. BabyImAStar

    ……Things even as simple as going to dinner, going to movies, having a date at a wedding, or birthday parties ,watching TV together etc.

    Reply

    Brandon St. Randy Reply:

    If your dude found out about this situation, and knew your intentions and feelings with side dude, would either one of you get your ass beaten?

    If yes, cheating

    If no, your dude’s strange or has a sidepiece himself

    Reply

    The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Shine So Bright I Gotta Tint My Mirrors Reply:

    He sooooo has a sidepiece.

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    BabyImAStar Reply:

    Well if he does have a sidepiece and the day comes that he says “Baby I have something to tell you..” Well then I will say..”Guess what baby I have something to tell you too..” done and done.

    Reply

    Smiley Face Reply:

    you just admitted to cheating

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    Brandon St. Randy Reply:

    Bill Duke Voice: “You know you fucked up, right?”

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    BabyImAStar Reply:

    LOL.. I had an instant recall, I may have to rent that. Regardless, I know what it is, and at the end of the day everybody’s happy. He may have a sidepiece and me hanging out with (not sleeping with) another male friend may be considered cheating, selfish, grimy whatever, life’s a struggle and I have not and going forward won’t lose one minute of sleep over the issue.

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  10. Peyso

    I just have a simple question, why do people usually see a woman cheat and think its the man’s fault but when a man cheats its his fault? What’s that about?

    Reply

    N.I.A. is so vain, she probably thinks this song is about her.... Reply:

    Because a lot of women who cheat do so b/c there is something wrong with the man/relationship. Men cheat b/c coochie is readily available….

    and i’m j/k…kinda.

    Reply

    Seattle Washington Reply:

    My dude. Pops told me something a while ago about women, arguments and responsibility. It stuck with me for 20 some odd years and I’ll pass it along to you now,

    “No matter what, it’s always going to be your fault.”

    Reply

    Smiley Face Reply:

    “What’s that about?”

    a bunch is bullshiggity

    Reply

    WuDaMan Reply:

    That’s real. I’m an emotional guy. I recognize when I been cheated on in any way. So when the ex-fiance went to cheating on me emotionally. I bounced. I started nasty txting my ex. Funny none of my exes would deny me…

    Reply

  11. good post fam. this shit happens a lot more than people realize. women can be as grimy (if not more) than men.

    true story:

    i was at this house party and one of my friends asked me if i was seeing anyway and i said no. i asked him why, then he said his home girl thought i was cute and wanted to know if i was available. so during the night we had real good convo. i asked her if she had a boyfriend and she was like yeah. i told her too bad, i was going to ask her for her number. she was like i could still have it so we exchanged numbers. bad idea right.

    so over the next few weeks we kicked it and i eventually ended up having familiar relations with her. one day she was like i’m gonna go see my bf this weekend (on some love jones type shit). so you know i played it like my man darius lovehall and was like cool, i’ll be here when you get back. so while she was visiting her bf they had a fight and she ended up breaking it off. she came back to me and like its over so where are we gonna take this? i damn near died laughing. she couldn’t be serious.

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  12. I held out for awhile on messing with someone who had a man. Always thought it was bad karma. That is until I met this one young lady who vehemently stated she didn’t have a man to me, but told other dudes she did. I didn’t pay it much attention seeing that women play that card sometimes to get the unwanted heat off their backs.

    I didn’t get a full explanation of her situation until after I caught a glimpse of her lingerie collection. Turns out they were broken up, but still it was all still hazy. Very hazy. Tell me why homegirl asked to use my bathroom and then called her “ex-boyfriend” to let him know she was out with her “friends”.

    ::cue up N.O.R.E.’s “Grimey”::

    I shook my head in disgust, she gave me the baby seal eyes and I later pulled out the club. That was the end of that one.

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    The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Shine So Bright I Gotta Tint My Mirrors Reply:

    Mmmmmmmmm haze………….

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  13. guiltyascharged

    Touchy subject. There are times when its easier to get into something than it is to get out of (ie.marriage) and unless you’re in or have been in that situation its easy to find the wrong.

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  14. I’d like to say that I like how you put the Ricki Lake/Sally logic up there. “If she’ll do it w/U she’ll do it to you.” That’s why I’m leary of the fast hook up.
    *jamming S.O.S. band (I think)* Baby we can do it take your time do it right we can do it baby…

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  15. I’m a little shock to read some of these dudes reactions when it comes to girls creeping. I thought we encouraged girls who weren’t ours to jumpoff?

    I do think that girls that creep are grimey, but I am all about expanding the pool of potential partners (for my team and myself). So even if I am put in some kind of “friend zone” I look for faults in a female friends relationship and push her to visit an 804 resident to get revenge or experience something new. I do think these girls are grimey, slores, horrible people, low lives… but I still sleep with them.

    Since the dawn of long distance relationship, men have loved to get some OPP (yeah you know CHeeKZ). I girl says she has a man, WE DON’T CARE. Youg Freshman Jawn trying to hold on to her high school boyfriend. It just another taboo, smutting out a girl who another man cares about. Than he visits her in school and you shake his hand KNOWING HE IS A CHUMP! Feels like you are a warrior conquering another country for the love of Sparta. LOVE IT!

    Man I was just watching some homegrown flick yesterday… talking to her man with another dude in her mouth. Boyfriend said “you aint in no club, you lying. Go back inside let me hear the music.” Boyfriend #2 reaches to his stereo.. turns up the volume.
    Girlfriend “MmK, Byym Lohm O”
    Boyfriend on the phone “what?”
    Girlfriend **takes piece out** “Ok, Bye Love You”

    Reply

    Seattle Washington Reply:

    Feel you man. I’m more than willing to assist, but I don’t take advantage of opportunities myself.

    Somewhere along the line I developed a conscience. Once that bad boy appears it’s hard to get rid of him. Kind of like Herpes. And I’d much rather have a raging case of the conscience than the Herp.

    Reply

  16. iwannaknow

    I would like to know the opposite of this blog entry, you mentioned that guys do this but its because of they are shady. But for real, why do guys have to cheat? If you have something so amazing waiting for you at home, what is the need to have your side jawns? And by side jawns, i dont mean chicks to randomly hook up with, i mean the jawns that he is treating like another girlfriend??

    Reply

    Peyso Reply:

    Could we like save that for like the post that like was talkin about that?

    Women do the same thing for the same reasons. Why dont we just ask “why do people do this”?

    Reply

    BlueFlame Reply:

    I don’t feel that cheating is gender biased. Just as many women cheat as men. I just feel that men are more vocal about it than women. Some men (notice i said some) use it as bragging rights, whereas a lot more women hide it…whether it’s because of shame (not saying that men aren’t shameful about cheating bc they wouldn’t try to hide it if they weren’t) or because they don’t want their indiscretion to get out.

    The main reason people cheat is because of selfishness. They step out on their significant others to satisfy their needs without thinking about the needs of their partner. Whether they are stepping out to fulfill an emotional or physical need, it’s still a selfish move because their priorities are above that of their partner. Some stay with their partner while they cheat even though they are not satisfied with their partner is for selfish reasons as well. Even though they aren’t receiving everything they want from that person they are still getting something from that person that is keeping them there…they are just dealing with the sidepiece to get what is lacking. That way all of their needs are getting met just with multiple people.

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    Reecie Reply:

    “Some stay with their partner while they cheat even though they are not satisfied with their partner is for selfish reasons as well.” so true. selfishness drives it all. and I think in general women practice discretion more than men, but I’m not sure about the reasons why. hmmm.

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    CHeeKZ Reply:

    I know women move in silence however, I think they are more likely to confess once you put the pressure on them. A negro will lie until he is blue in the face.

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    ASmith Reply:

    You’re probably right.

    Dudes will lie even though you walked in on them mid-act, but most females I know who’ve admitted to cheating did so either because of their own guilt or their man was putting pressure on them about it.

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    Reecie Reply:

    na, I know women that will probably take it to the graves. especially if that particular relationship has ended. I guess it just depends.

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    N.I.A. is so vain, she probably thinks this song is about her.... Reply:

    my ex doesn’t know I cheated. He probably still doesn’t know. He accused me when I broke it off, but I told him I wasn’t, but I just couldn’t get over him cheating, the trust was broken, and it was best to end it…And that was the truth.

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    BlueFlame Reply:

    Yup…and think about how many women don’t tell some men in their lives that the baby really isn’t theirs. Then the fathers don’t find out until they need a kidney…

    Reply

    Reecie Reply:

    or when they do a DNA test to establish paternity for child support after a divorce, true story…

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    CHeeKZ Reply:

    Dude across the street from me helped raised a girl till she was 16.. I was going in on his daughter too (phat butts). Baby Momma asks for more money. Court makes him take a DNA test, but he never doubted the kid was his…. 16 years of child support. To another man’s seed. And I never got to turn out his faux daughter b/c she stopped visiting on the weekend.

    she's a maN.I.A.c, maN.I.A.c on the floor. And she's dancing like she never danced before. Reply:

    My cousin (read: my aunt/uncle) was raising this boy as his own, and had even taken the boy into his (read: my aunt & uncle) house, only later to find out he was not the father like 4 years too late. And this is after everyone in the family had accepted the boy as our cousin’s son, and his birth mother gave up her rights to him–not sure if she did it legally, but she definitely gave full and complete custody to my cousin. Now, my cousin is grimy too, b/c he has a daughter the exact age as his “son” and they are only about a month a part.

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    Slim Jackson Reply:

    Ya know. It makes sense that women would be more crafty cheaters. They’re more methodical in everything they do. It doesn’t matter if it’s intentionally trying to piss a dude off, make him jealous, or slide off. The other thing is the higher the IQ, the more dangerous she becomes. Say I’m lyin…

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    LittleMissSunshine Reply:

    ha! It requires stealth 101 because yal know what cheating looks like from experience. We gotta step the game up.

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    CHeeKZ Reply:

    the smarter you are the easier it is rationalize poor behavior and fight off social norms of morality.

    **points finger at self**

    Reply

  17. LittleMissSunshine

    My last relationship was probably the first relationship that I had ever been faithful in.

    The first one he cheated on me so I cheated on him. I was young in HS and thought nothing of kissing other guys (see how young?). The second one well… the sex just wasn’t good and when I look back on it I don’t think I really loved him. I told on myself though out of guilt because he would of never found out.

    My last one I made an effort to be faithful to him because he was worth it. He was my “7 series” and other bentley’s didn’t matter.

    I used to be selfish I can admit it, but like someone said before- if you can’t stay faithful leave the relationship.

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  18. Mz Good Heart

    Great Post…I am NOT the cheatin type @ ALL…I wil break up first…Cheating is bad it hurts everyone in the end…

    *Sidenote* I miss my ex’s BMW 760 v12…but he was no good so he had to go…Oh well…!!!

    That is all…!!!

    Reply

  19. Very interesting post. I’m sure a lot more women cheat than we think- its just that women are more sleek and careful? Most especially- i don’t think they run their mouths…….unlike men.

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  20. Great post Streetz! And no, I didn’t think you went hard on the women at all :)
    Where I’m from, the women are shady towards one another, but faithful as dogs (loyal, i mean) to their men. Where I am now (T.dot) apparently all women here cheat! I myself have never done it, though there are times I wish I had (is that a bad thing to regret?) but I have also been in relationships I shouldn’t have been in and stayed just for the hell of it. I need to work on cutting ppl loose. Anyways, interesting comments on this post as well!

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  21. Quick Story:

    This one time, I got up with a young lady who was feelin me for a minute but was always hesitant (re: frontin). so one day, she comes over to The Palace of Wisdom (re: my house) with high heels, and a scandelous outfit. 60 seconds later the magic happened. After we were done, she gets up and starts shaking her head, sayin “damn….damn”. i was gassed thinking that I knocked it out the park. I go ‘whats wrong?” She says

    “I don’t think my boyfriend would approve of this”

    Goodnight America!

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    Some people don't like the way N.I.A. walk Reply:

    LMAO!!! She came over to get it, then thought of her BF after the deed was done? LOL! Us women folk are bad, real bad Michael Jackson.

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    Streetz, alias Big POP-a Reply:

    You don’t even know…

    What made it crazier was that dude LIVED IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD!! She let me know that too afterwards…hahahaa

    Needless to say, it was a shock!

    Thats why I tell you guys that it’s hard for me to trust in relationships and people in general when i see crazy ish daily. My post this wednesday on SBM will detail this as well. You’ll see..lol

    Reply

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