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Eff ‘Em Friday
Balls.
Seattle Washington
Yeah… OK Slim. Well I guess that’s a good intro. Right. OK here we go. Eff not getting enough sleep. I played around with a camera and joked around with close friends worked in NYC all weekend only to drive back to Boston on Monday morning. Things got so bad that I had to pull over and take a nap so I wouldn’t smash anyone in my sleep. I’ve done it before, but never in my car. Don’t think it would be as great. Anyway, I haven’t caught up on sleep since I’ve been back in town because of my “actual” job. But I plan on sleeping in on Saturday morning so don’t ask me to do sh*t!!!
Eff being mentally checked out. My “Eff It” glands are producing a. lot more “Eff It” than usual. Normally it’s saved for Fridays, but now it’s being pumped through my system during the whole work week. And a little on late Sunday. The irony is that I’m now less stressed, I’ve done some good work and in less time because of my overall nonchalant attitude. God has to be a comedian, because this whole experience is hilarious.
I really can’t believe this guy really just said “Balls” for the intro. SMH. What a deviant.
Eff the suspense. My boy and I entered into a few more film competitions and I’m sitting on pins and needles waiting to see what the results are. I feel like I just tried out for the team or asked a girl out again. Hopefully these folks don’t stand me up like that broad in elementary school. And since we’re on the topic, eff you broad! Yep, you made the Three Ways blog. screen! …Ahem, yeah. So, I’m over here praying to Jesus on Twitter that we win. It could lead to some #Majestic opportunities.
Who’s up next?
Slim Jackson
Balls.
Eff Seattle for calling me a deviant. I’ve been through months and months of sex therapy, so I know exactly what Tiger is going through. Sike.
Eff the fact that I don’t get excited for birthdays anymore. Mine was this week and I let it go by without really mentioning it at all. Damn, why all my joints hurt all of a sudden?
Eff the fact I expected to make a lot more money at work this week than I did. I’m glad I have a job and all that, but I expected a couple magical things to happen and they didn’t. Back to the effin’ drawing board I guess.
Eff the fried chicken I was thinking about when I was writing these eff ‘ems. And if you judgin’ me, then eff you!
Miss Jenkins
Eff Seattle for not having my food stamps and child support ready even though he knew I was coming to see him. Ladies, stay away from the cute men with good hair. They ain’t no good.
Eff having to come back and mentally prepare myself for the hellish reality that will be my life for the next 2 months. *laces up sneakers* Its a race til the end.
Eff school work that will keep me from watching every televised game of March Madness.
And lastly, eff all yall Duke and Cornell haters. See you at the dance!!
The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele LLC, I’m so Brooklyn
Eff people that waste my time. These are precious moments than I can never have back, and you know what they say, time is money. Sooo, either stop wasting my time, or cut me a muthaf*ckin’ check.
Eff holding my tongue. I’m finna start telling people exactly what I think. Denying my true identity as a assh*le is stressing me out beyond belief. I hate to think that I’d only be helping to perpetuate the angry black man stereotype, but as luck would have it, I’m actually an angry black man. It’s a cold world, and I think it’s time I introduced you.
Eff Georgetown and Louisville. While I’m at it, eff Sowhatiff Jenkins, the horse she came in on, Duke and Cornell aka I-81′s Weakest Link. And can someone please sit Scoop Jardine down and tell him if he wants to live out his fantasy of putting a team on his back and leading them to a comeback victory, do it on his PS3.
Eff Drake. That new “Over” track sounds like Weezy’s voice spittin’ Kanyeezy’s lyrical content. Get “Over” yourself buddy, no one really thinks you’re that great. Competing against the likes of Wacka Flocka Flame and Souljah Boy can make anybody seem great. (i.e. Gucci Mane, The Game, Album Weezy, etc.)
Go ahead and let it out people. We know you want to…even if you had a good week.
The 3 Ways Crew
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Eff my impending birthday and eff all the people who minimize my quarter life crisis.
Eff my new “manager” who doesn’t seem to understand common sense.
Eff people who take my kindness for weakness.
Eff not being able to flip a switch on my feelings.
And, eff my current dry spell and the fact that I can’t envision an end to it.
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Eff my body for thinking, because it’s Spring Break, it can just sleep all day, I had errands to run!
Eff the fact that every time I seem to pick up a book, my brain just did’nt want to focus.
Eff Spring Break for being the most boring Spring Break ever!
Tis all…
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Eff Andre w/ all my might!!!
I really hope he gets a paper cut, bumps his pinky toe into something, gets a sore throat & a headache, gets constipated and something else that isn’t so nice that I can’t think up right now.
Hmmph!
Eff my procastination. Why must I be such a lazy bum? A cutie pie lazy bum… but a lazy bum for much too long none-the-less.
*sigh*
Eff Springtime! I’m not ready. I didn’t get to wear all my of my winter outfits and some of my fly a** boots. Guess that’s what procastinating will get ya….
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Eff my blackberry crashing on me last night
Eff me for being so stupid not to back up my chat contacts
Eff my ex trying to be all friendly by sending messages to me through mutual friends
Eff my manager that almost didnt approve my vacation
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Duke!!
Eff the Duke haters who will be commenting today with all of their venomous haterade.
Eff Slim for not telling anyone it was his birthday. I was all set to wish him a happy belated bornday, but since he doesn’t care… Eff it.
Eff the rain. Dear God, I thank you for the warmer temperatures, but my curly locs can’t stand the rain. Can you stand the rain? Of course you can, you’re God.
Eff my trainer for working my body until it ached. My inner thighs are so sore I can barely walk. And yes, this entire statement is very pausable. I know.
Have a great weekend!
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Eff me getting to work extra late this morning…and I don’t have to be here! I tried to come in to get some OT, but now I have to push my day back farther to get all my money.
Eff him for not calling me back last night like he said he would. In fact eff him for being hesitant…I’m a prize!
Eff not getting enough sleep the last two nights. I’m super sleepy…coffee it is!
Lastly, eff 2-day weekends!! They should be 3 days!!
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Haddy Birday ANYWAY SLIM…(witcha old self, lol)
Eff this new workout plan…what in THE 9th GATE OH HELL was I thinking….ooowwwwwwww
Eff my laissez faire attitude…the clock is ticking and it’s showing le sigh
Eff this particular person who thinks Ion’t know what cooked beef looks like…for serious…knowing Ion’t eat it? Stupid arse….
Eff that I can’t wait for the next 113 days to go by…I’m ready NOW!!!
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Eff my job as usual. Slow week btu eff it still. Im on the effin path out this mutha sucka!!
Eff the US Postal Service for not delivering my tax info to my taxman, so now my
welfarerefund check will be delayed! EFF!!Eff bills. I need a magic
stickwand that I can wave to absolve me of all financial obligations. Word!Salud my dudes!
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Eff Staying At Newlyweds homes!
Eff my level of tiredness!
Eff my shorties roomates! I’m going to eff her so good this weekend that you’ll wish I was simultaneously EFFING YOU!
Eff being poorly prepared which in turn promotes pain!
Eff puppies w/no home training (did you really chew up the credit card after I snatched the license from you?)!
Eff You!
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Peyso Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 11:54 am
it promotes perpetual pain
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Eff my job! A whole & only one massage is a waste of my time. Seriously! Eff being scared to look elsewhere in fear that I won’t make what I make now. Eff that I need at least a year’s worth of experience as a massage therapist to work where I really want to & two years to travel the world on a cruiseline.
Eff my sister for bugging over flowers I sent for our aunt’s funeral. You didn’t put any money in on it. Didn’t even offer. Yet, I put your name on ‘em. You knew… chill out!
Eff this spending freeze I’ve placed myself on & possibly having to give up a trip I really want to take so that I can buy a car. Eff being grown up! This mess is for the birds!
Eff that I can’t find my Eric Roberson cd… Did I leave it in that rental?! Dang!!! I need my music.
Eff that my s*x life in TX has been garbage!!! Where did these ninjas learn this mess? Eff that dating is sooooo bad here, I’m willing to move back to IL. That’s bad.
Eff everybody telling not to worry about love & focus on starting a business. I’m working on that… give me some dang time.
OH! Eff the client I had that wanted a 90min deep tissue & didn’t tip. I’m dang near sweating to make you feel like butter, you pay w/ a $100 bill, then ask if gratuity is mandatory… Word?! Then say you don’t have it but you’re going to the mall to shop, with my tip money?! My mom says I shouldn’t expect a tip… Sorry mom… EFF THAT!!!
*SIGH* I love Eff ‘Em Fridays.
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N Aimee Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 12:46 pm
“Eff being scared to look elsewhere in fear that I won’t make what I make now. Eff that I need at least a year’s worth of experience as a massage therapist to work where I really want to & two years to travel the world on a cruiseline.”
As an Aesthetician, I sooooo feel ya’ on this.
GIRRRLLLL! You lost a ERRO cd?! That would ruin my weekend…
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Eff this dentist office I have been sitting in for the past hour. You said nine o’clock. I got things to do and I only took a half day. The medical community needs to stop hiring you cute single mothers as workers in their private offices and all these b!tches do is talk in the phone while we wait. the eye candy isn’t worth it. The strip club already provides enough labor for these hoodrats.
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CHeeKZ Money Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 2:34 pm
Left the dentist.. more eff’in
Eff the dentist for trying to find something wrong with my pearly whites to make a buck. Talking about “you have a malgomous deviants blahblah fancy dentist term”. I thought i was going to lose my teeth. Its an underbite I have had my whole life. Than when I checked him on it, he had to admit “its only cosmetically incorrect”.
Eff the DMV (I had a busy half day off). You know sometimes we oversell how bad institutions are run, the DMV is really as bad as its reputation. You have to wait in line for 40 mins just to get a number and than wait for an hour to get it called. Than they have this weird number/letter system so you never know when you are actually next. And after two hr wait, it only takes two minutes to complete why you came.
Eff the University of Miami. I will never root for your football team again nor apply to your law school. Some of these schools should just admit making money is the mission.
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Eff Team Swole. My neo is sadistic part time law student/ part time personal trainer. The workout has my lats and mid back sore. I’ve played sports all my life and lifted weights since HS and never have those muscles been sore ever.
Eff the way fat women and SOME gay dudes look at me in the street. Eff the fact that they sometimes comment. (This comment gets a pause and a no homophobia). I’ve never felt more objectified in my life. I will never (read not for the next few weeks) look or comment on another woman in my life.
Eff the fact that now I have to make a tough decision to make in terms of law school. However, I do realize that I am blessed beyond belief to be able to make this choice. Its like the kind of tough decision you dont mind having to make.
Eff yo couch!!
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Smiley Face Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 11:02 am
“Eff the way fat women and SOME gay dudes look at me in the street. Eff the fact that they sometimes comment. (This comment gets a pause and a no homophobia). I’ve never felt more objectified in my life. I will never (read not for the next few weeks) look or comment on another woman in my life.”
I chuckled out loud…made you want to pull on a trench coat didn’t it tee hee hee
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 11:32 am
I laughed at that, too. I could clearly see the faces od those big girls eyeing him. LOL!!
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Peyso Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 11:55 am
I wanted to just hide. I debated never taking the train again this morning
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Eff the tricks that spring is playing with my mind. It was definitely beautiful outside a couple days ago & now it looks like the sky is about to urinate on streets yet again.
Eff asking my boyfriend if I’m getting a little chubs. He ‘forced’ out a yes & now I’ve cut all the fun things from my daily meals. And what if I did become a big girl, son?!
Eff still being really busy.
Eff having to admit that Diggy Simmons isn’t half bad on the mic.
Oh & eff that it’s going to rain all weekend in NYC.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 10:52 am
“Eff asking my boyfriend if I’m getting a little chubs. He ‘forced’ out a yes & now I’ve cut all the fun things from my daily meals. And what if I did become a big girl, son?!”
Don’t stop making cupcakes and other tasty desserts though. Just go to the gym for half an hour of cardio a few days a week and you can still eat (some of) the fun things. Word.
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ildolceamore Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Nah no more baked good for me, my man, or his boys!
Have the nerve to call me chunks…
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele LLC, Destined for Greatness Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 2:49 pm
What about that yummy Arabic salad I’ve heard so much about?
And keep in mind, I made no mention of your appearance…you always look fabulous.
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One more…Eff folk who think that using the speakerphone is acceptable in cubicle nation…use your daggone headphone set….I swear! I don’t give a BLEEP that your Capitol One payment is overdue or that you’re trying to negotiate a lower interest rate….da hell O_o!
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eff these b*tches, i swear i care bout everything but these b*tches… #steadymobbin
eff my job for having me here until 7pm on a Friday
eff no man having h*es
eff these lying ass h*es
eff all the people who go to 3ways but don’t show love at SBM… and i mean that from the HEART
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 11:21 am
“eff all the people who go to 3ways but don’t show love at SBM… and i mean that from the HEART”
I’d argue that the SBM site gets significantly more love fam. But, you are entitled to eff who and what you want.
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Streetz Se Puede Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 11:35 am
Eff those who goto SBM and dont peruse this glorified train we call 3ways!
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele LLC, Destined for Greatness Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 11:43 am
LMAO…”B*tch if you say ***, you walkin home!”
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Dr. J (@DrJayJack) Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 12:10 pm
nah you know you have your faithfuls over here who be like, “I love that nucca Slim, I never let him go.”
Y’all gon make me lose my cool.
LMAO.
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Eff boring Spring Breaks.
Eff the never ending dry spell.
Eff being in law school while your friends are living the DC version of Sex and the City!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 11:51 am
Living the DC version of Sex and the City? It might be better that you’re left out of that one. I heard it’s “burning up” there. #nofirsthandexperience
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Dr. J (@DrJayJack) Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
People rarely note that DC has two of the largest HIV/AIDS centers in America in our area. That’s why all those people are here. In addtion to the homeless problem, and the fact that these women will let multiple dudes raw dog, three strokes in the back of Park for no reason.
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@Slim and @Dr. J,
I’m not disagreeing with what y’all said. I guess I forgot to mention that most of my friends are 2520s or Latinas and I’m slightly jealous bc they’re gainfully employed and I’m a broke student!
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I’m late but…
Eff today’s rain. Tomorrow’s rain. Sunday’s rain. Four days of rain?!?
Eff these nigs who pull disappearing acts and come around every few weeks talking about, “what you doin?” Sigh.
Eff my co-worker who stays falling asleep at her desk, doesn’t pull her weight and still manages to have a job.
Eff being a responsible adult. Sometimes I wanna say, “I don’t wanna.” And I don’t care.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 3:04 pm
You would enjoy this post I wrote for Single Black Male. Actually, you may hate it.lol.
http://www.singleblackmale.org/2010/02/02/here-today-gone-tomorrow/
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Rum Punch Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 3:17 pm
HA! No, that was good stuff. That’s pretty much the scenario. It’s moreso annyoing – like a mosquito buzzing in your ear – vs. life shattering. But it does make a girl long for the days of being pursued and courted right. Just sayin.
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Eff getting fired this week. Thanks goodness I have a side hustle.
Eff this job market & my indecisiveness, I coulda got out before they fired me
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