Eff ‘Em Friday
It’s Friday…and sh*t. We’ve been yearning (yes yearning) for the end of the week to get here. Though a lot of good happened this week, there are still some things that pissed us off and need to be eff’ed.
Slim Jackson
Eff AirTran. How you gonna give me a deal on a round trip flight then still charge me $15 to check the first bag goin’ each way? Do I look like a fool to you? Wasn’t that supposed to be a temporary fix to compensate for fuel prices when ish was OD pricey? You pretty much cancelled out the value I thought I was gettin’ on the flight. XM radio is not enough to make this acceptable. Speakin’ of which…
Eff satellite radio…for the most part. In the 9 hours I spent in a car this past weekend, why did I hear the same rotation of 2o songs on any stations that dealt with hip hop and r&b sans the old school channels? Eff you XM/Sirius! Your stations were supposed to be different. Being able to hear swear words does not make playin’ the same songs all day any better. And eff the old school channels for not being available on regular radio.
Eff the humidity this week. I’ve had jeans and shirts get 2 shades darker from being outside more than 20 minutes. I’ve taken cold showers only to get out and start sweating again. I’ve endured less than effective air conditioning in the office. I’d really liked to have gotten to work once this week and not have been sweaty. Same applies to the train ride home. I really don’t wanna have to start powderin’ my taint. Eff you humidity!
Seattle Washington
Eff my weakening facade. The front I’ve been putting up at work is starting to wear off and people are seeing through it like a sheer t-shirt that’s been sprayed with water and beer during Spring Break in Cancun. “Are you OK [Seattle]?” is the question I get every time I’m out with the peers. “No, I’m not. Pass me another beer.” Y’know I don’t like work, so why are you even asking me what the deal is? I appreciate the gesture, but this is only making me not like work even more.
Eff ridiculously bursty women. Come here young lady, I have to tell you something. This right here will be the closest you get to paradise. Chick, you can obviously tell I’m not trying to mess with you or anyone else in this locale. I know you women have this sixth sense, don’t you try to fool me. So why must you overexert yourself and continuously put yourself within spitting distance of my personal space? It was flattering at first, but now it’s just pain old annoying. Get. The. Eff. Away. From. Me. Well, unless you want to buy me another beer…
Eff student loans. These collectors are worse than loan sharks. At least with them the deal is laid out and stuck to. Sallie Mae switches it up more than a down low brother leading two lives. One month everything is cool, two days later I’m behind on the payment and the deadline isn’t even in the vicinity. My family just sat down on the phone with you to set up a payment plan. Why is it different this month?! You’re calling out more numbers than the elderly announcer at an old folks home during Bingo Night. Y’know what? Ooooh oh oh, wait til I get my money right!!!
Miss Jenkins
Eff the gas attendant who didn’t fill up my tank all the way and tried to G me out of $20. Don’t get jacked up buddy.
Eff the allergies that had my eyes all watery and had me breathing through one nostril for 6 days. And eff Tylenol Allergy Multi-Symptom for not working the way it should. Helping unstuff my nose: fail. Relieving sinus pressure: fail.
Eff that parfait a#$ party planner on Real Housewives of Atlanta who had the nerve to put his hands in Sheree’s face and call her momma out of her name. What kind of man or professional does that??? I don’t think she was asking for too much. Good customer service is not optional, especially when good money is on the line. I hope she did call the goons, aka “Pookie and dem.”
Let the Eff ‘Ems commence! Have a good weekend folks.
Love, Hard Peace, and Hair Grease,
The Three Ways Crew
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I am an ‘eff em virgin…
Let me see…
‘eff that bastard who called my house yelling @ me to pay a bill that wasn’t mine
double ‘eff that “parfait”( i like that word) planner he out his rabbit a&& mind
eff school…i don’t wanna go baaaack (but I have to)
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Slim Jackson Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 8:20 am
@Jaci: Welcome to the wonderful world of ‘eff ems!
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:41 am
Yeah word…Eff school!!
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Let me co sign both the
eff student loans
and the candy a$$ funboy party planners….
eff my wack a$$ middle management job and the bullshyt that goes along with it
eff MLGW (memphis light gas and water) for sending me a 440.00 bill and my air conditioner was not working or turned on for 2 weeks!
and lastly Eff cold stone creamery for making those deliciously addictive ass mini ice cream cakes in a mini chocolate cup while Im trying to get my sexy back!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 8:20 am
@shay_D_lady: coldstone produces that crack cocaine. nuff said.
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ildolceamore Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 8:57 am
@slimjackson: Is this the new commenting trend? Because I kinda like it!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:29 am
@ildolceamore: lol, I comment from a different screen that’s in the admin panel. This is how it formats the replies if I don’t come directly to the site.
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eff ppl trying to talk to you when you’re at your desk, headphones on, trying to zone out and let time pass….
LEAVE ME ALONE.
- GUNS!!!
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Shawn Smith Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 12:14 pm
They never get the hint. At this point people have to send me an IM to get my attention.
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Effe this week.
My boss is out of town and I thoroughly ENJOYED it. And why on earth did it fly by so fast?
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Eff…
Syracuse University who tried to tell me they wouldn’t certify my degree because it looked like I was a few credits short of a college career. The people who thought it was funny to play with their lives by telling me I’d have to come back next semester. Oh eff me for miscounting my credit hours? No, eff you for miscounting my accomplishments because you have so few of your own. Bastards.
Not being able to find a job so I’m going to have to resort to my fallback plan–graduate school. At least I can skip class and boo up a couple extra days whenever I feel like it, couldn’t do that with a job.
Living in a gender stratified country, where it’s male on male/female on female massages, and that means that I get felt up by chicks on the regular. When I go for the ever so cheap 90 minute, full body, with a hot bath every couple days, I’m met by an Indian woman who is ready to violate me. It is so, so sad that this is the most physical contact I’ve had with anyone in 2.5 months. Eff my life.
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Muscle Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 8:58 am
Ummmmmmmmmm….tell me more about this female on female contact…especially the full body, hot bath part. Type slowly, use a baby voice and don’t leave out any details.
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ildolceamore Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:04 am
You find it sexy huh? Come on out to India and have your own experience…male on male.
It won’t be so sexy anymore, RCLS.
traumatized, ildolcemore
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Black and Trapped in Toronto Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:33 am
“Come on out to India and have your own experience…male on male.”
ildolceamore I’m dying save meeeeee lolllllll
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Muscle Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:55 am
I don’t get massages here in America, so it would behoove me to fly all the way to India to be violated, especially when I work in an office w/ a flaming metrosexual that insists on violating my personal space daily. I figured since you were already being sensually touched by a hot massuese for 90 minutes several times a week, that I could live vicariously through you.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:44 am
Girl…I dunno about skipping class in grad school…people get kicked out of programs for missing like 2 days and ish like that…seen it almost happen to a home girl of mine…No bueno. But I’m a fan boo-ing up though so…who knows.
Grad school is a good back up plan though…depending on what you’re studying.
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ildolceamore Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Ohhh just a MA of Religion at Columbia, no biggie.
I don’t think God will mind.
There I go with the G word, please everyone, hold your
crosseshorses.Reply
Peyso hasnt been blocked for 2 weeks and running Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:54 am
e boo, dont worry I got you on the massage
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Jaci Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:06 am
N!gga you over here cheating?!
WTF?
I’ma beat your arse…
I got a new phone eff Peyso’s cheating as!s
LOL I kid…I kid….
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Peyso hasnt been blocked for 2 weeks and running Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:10 am
there’s enough of me to go around
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ildolceamore Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 1:19 pm
e boo?
I’m sorry, I don’t know a @Peyso, you must have me confused with someone else.
Have a great day!
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Peyso hasnt been blocked for 2 weeks and running Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 1:21 pm
I aint never been e-kicked to the curb so viciously, going to cry myself to sleep under a desk
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Cheekie Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Aw…*hands Peyso Kleenex on the sly*
I won’t tell nobody. lol
Ya’ll two were so cute, too…
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Eff this teenager for stealing my window seat so he could sit next to his girlfriend.
I know I know, young love how precious but I really really like my window seat.
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ildolceamore Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 8:40 am
Aw, that’s really nice of you for allowing that situation to happen. I definitely would have been the lady that boy would tweet about saying, “I can’t sit next to my girlfriend because this *&$%& @!# lady is anal about her window seat.” All in less than 140 characters.
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ASmith Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:15 am
I had a guy steal my window seat for his son (who was in a car seat). The kid proceeded to kick my seat (I sat in front of them) for the entire 90 minute flight. Then the mom, as we deplaned, had the nerve to say “I hope he didn’t kick your seat too much…” I wanted to slap the shit out of her.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:45 am
Open palm or closed?
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ASmith Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:48 am
Definitely closed. She needed a black eye to learn her lesson because that was full ignorance.
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olivya23 Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:04 am
steal a window seat? Oh NO! I’m that person that says, “Oh, you’re in my seat.” And they tell me I can have their seat (which is in the aisle). Hell the eff no! MOVE, please, get out of my seat!
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Shawn Smith Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 12:16 pm
I’m the same way. I paid for a window seat. People look at me and because I’m tall think I want the aisle. Nope. Hop yo azz out of my seat and I dare you to say something to me for the next hour or so for this flight.
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eff:
this experiment that had me in the lab at 6:30 this morning. getting up before the sun is up for something i don’t like doing is not cool.
me being so damn tired lately. i went to bed before 10:30 last night. so not cool.
all this damn rain. that might be what’s making me tired.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:46 am
Experiment? Lab? Sounds cool….
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Slim, check this article I read yesterday:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/TRAVEL/traveltips/07/30/avoiding.luggage.fees/index.html
I rarely fly anything other than Southwest. That baggage charge is ridic and honestly, I think the gubment needs to step in (though I know they won’t — the transportation folks will unleash lobbyists healthcare insurance style).
And LAWD — one thing I thought would happen moving further north was less humidity. FAIL.
Eff studying for the GRE.
Eff TSA’s 3 oz liquids rule. I don’t want to check my bag, I’m not bringing that much!
Eff my ex for texting me this morningReply
Reecie Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:24 am
“Eff TSA’s 3 oz liquids rule. I don’t want to check my bag, I’m not bringing that much!”
I hate this with a passion. I squeeze errythang I own in that lil quart sized bag. hate it.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:30 am
@ASmith: Peeped the article. Jetblue is pricy nowadays. I still love them though. I may try to find some loopholes going forward.
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ASmith Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:32 am
I avoid Jetblue because I hate how they wanna fly everything through NYC — which is cool if you’re in NYC, not so much if you’re in DC and not going North. LOL.
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I agree eff the humidity–but I live in fl so I guess I’ma have to just suck that one up. (pause).
eff getting my hair done on the days its pouring raining, we get showers galore so when isn’t it raining? but still. I feel like my curls wouldve last a couple more days w/o this rain.
eff this new project I’m working on where pretty much they pulled me in to do all the damn work they dont’ want to do. eff em with a sick dick. early.
stealing Tiff’s, eff that queer party planner, but I now have a new phrase thanks to Sheree from RHOA “who gon’ check me boo?” LMAO.
eff that dream I had last night that had me waking up huffing and puffing mad like I was in the dream! took awhile for my heart rate to go down and fall back asleep!
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Tunde Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:29 am
woosah! relax…relate…release lol
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@ slim its American airlines too…I was blazing maaaaaaddd because one way I almost missing my damn flight & I didn’t have to pay nothing extra but the going home and being on time I was slapped with $15..i was tempted to wear the contents of my luggage and go right on the plane…eff you tsa and eff you AA
Eff work- as usual
Eff my mood swings- been up and down then up again wtf …level already
Eff the ghetto ass chicks in the nail salon who brag about American men coming for caribanna (this weekend) who pay for their hair and nails….GO GET A JOB! Is that all it takes to bed you? hair , nails, and a chicken dinner? Damn!
Eff the rain and me getting caught in it everytime I go outside…rain is blk ppl’s kryptonite..I am deteriorating by the second.
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Eff not making much money and yet not being poor enough to qualify for any damn thing. Why am I being penalized for attempting to be financially stable?
Eff people pushing to get on the train first AND standing by the door AND not getting off at the next stop. You are retahded.
Eff it not being 5 already…
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ASmith Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:43 am
I see your 2nd Eff ‘em, and raise you the people who won’t let you off the train before they get on. HELLO PEOPLE there’s more room on here if I get off so MOVE.
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Eff the guy that quoted me 13K to put some siding on my house. Like really dude? It’s just vinyl. Eff him again for not being able to finish my basement and trying to get me to get a rogue non-compliant contractor to do it. And eff the fact that if I go thru all this trouble to add value to my house, it’s going to raise my assesment. I don’t even know what the f*ck an assessment is.
Eff NYS for banning texting while driving. So in addition to living in one of the highest taxed states in the union, you’re going to gimme a ticket for saying eff you on threeways while driving? Pricks.
Eff not being able to retire on 6 figures. In 1909, I would have owned all of Rhode Island, the patent to phone technology, and 3 negroes who hadnt heard about the whole Emancipation Proclamation thing. EFF YOU INFLATION!!!!!!
Eff the fact that I don’t work in radio because besides being told I have a face for radio, people always tell me I have a great voice on the phone, yet and still, I see no checks cut. If you like it that much, swing ya happy ass over to the office and use my middle name to cut the check: CASH. (Anyone in radio need hot, raw talent? I’m your guy. A real man shouldn’t have to say “no homo”*)
Eff the racist bastards that continue to hand me Newports when I clearly state that I want PARLIAMENT LIGHTS. Not Negroports, not Kools, PARLIAMENTS. Don’t let the picture perfect ebony dermis fool you my friend, I’m 100% elitist.
Eff being @ work today when 60% of other state employees took the day off. At least, it’s raining so they can’t enjoy their day. I’m not a hater dawg, but my duece is. Shoutout to GOONS INC.
Eff having to sneak around to blaze trees when my parents come to visit MY DAMN HOUSE. It’s like high school all over again, except I pay the mortgage now. Aint that a b*tch? Once a man, twice a child. Damn.
Eff Mavado. GAZA 4 LIFE! Respect di Alliance and Killa still, but di whole world know dat Mavado don’t want it w/ Vybz Kartel, or Ras Moses for that matter. (MAVADO NUH BAD LIKE MI BUMBOCLAAAAT TIMS!)
Eff you if you don’t get the former reference. Get your Wiki on.
Last but in now way certainly not least:
Eff David Ortiz for talkin AAAALLLL that sh*t about people on steroids only to have tested positive in ’03.
Eff the Boston Red Sox.
Eff the City of Boston.
Eff Suffolk County. Yep, eff your county.
Eff Greater Boston.
Eff the state of Massachusetts.
Eff New England in general.
Eff the Puritans for even starting that God forsaken state. Seriously…the break down lane IS NOT A REGULAR DRIVING LANE!!!!!!!!
* Copyright, AL QUEDA JADA
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ASmith Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:42 am
My co-workers are straight staring at me because I have been in full blown guffaw mode through this whole thing.
Especially the cigarettes… HA! I’d never even HEARD of Parliaments ’till I got to my elitist university. Lawd Jesus.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:49 am
I don’t think having a face for radio is a good thing…
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Reecie Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:03 am
LMAO. its not!
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Cheekie Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:52 am
“I don’t think having a face for radio is a good thing…”
It’s not. Wendy Williams, I’m looking at you (unfortunately). I’ono why she quit her radio show to focus on her TV show…she was in the PERFECT field for that fug mug.
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Muscle Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:56 am
Ok, ok…slow down…it ain’t that deep. Jus a little shot @ myself. I actually quite handsome. The only thing Wendy Williams and I have in common is that we are both men. I however look like a man and not a pre-op tranny. Yea, I said it.
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 9:57 am
hey hey hey… don’t hate on my boy Mavado… i love him! but yeah, he should leave Vybz alone… Last Man Standing was craaaazzzyyy!
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Muscle Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 12:36 pm
It was all good til he ran off the stage @ Sting. I know Killa can’t be too proud of that.
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And Eff people who want to quit the iPhone because AT&T is blocking Google (aka “they own the internets”) Voice.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/07/31/AR2009073100971.html
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Muscle Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:04 am
Eff the Iphone. Blackberry 4 life!
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olivya23 Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:18 am
Eff apple/at&t for not telling me about the virus when I bought the iPhone last TUESDAY! Now i’m all paranoid about a square showing up in text!
blackberry is just alright.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:28 am
blackberry is on my booboo list because my track ball can’t scroll right or up effectively. i’ma get a new one tho.
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missfontaine Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 11:37 am
Eff Iphone users who think their “the shyt” because they own an Iphone. Umm, so do you and every other douche bag.
Note: Not all Iphone users are douches. Only about 80% of them.
Blackberrrrrrrrry! Blackberry.
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Cheekie Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 3:27 pm
@missfontaine – “Eff Iphone users who think their “the shyt” because they own an Iphone. ”
This is funny because ain’t this sorta like what people thought upon Blackberry’s inception? Anyone who owned one thought they were the ish. Maybe since the iPhone came out, it has replaced Blackberry as the top “I’m the shyt” problem, but there are still mofos that think they’re important because they have a Blackberry. lol Especially since it has its own touchscreen version too.
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eff my law school bill… i don’t understand why my school’s tuition is OD ridiculous. i better get some fly internships and an ill job when i graduate.
eff dating a younger dude… i knew it was a bad idea, but i fell for his baby face and boyish charm. he thought he was slick enough to get some knowing i’d be leaving in a couple weeks. but really dude, on the second date?? come on now…
eff perming my hair… i think i’m ready to go natural. now it’s time to fig out how i can pull it off…
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Still Water Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 7:10 pm
I’m still super happy/proud for you!!!
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
August 2nd, 2009 at 3:57 pm
thank you =)
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Eff you and everything you stand for (to no one in particular but to everyone too)
Eff the money i’m fittin to spend b/c negros are really trying to charge me money to apply to their damn schools
Eff da bruhz – yea i said it. These kneegrows had me standing in the park last night for football practice and only 4 ppl showed up an hour late, how you gonna organize the event then show up 40 mins late? that’s some bull
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Muscle Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:18 am
I been sayin eff the bruhz since the day I crossed. We shoulda pledged TKE.
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Peyso hasnt been blocked for 2 weeks and running Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:19 am
I think I woulda went SAE
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ASmith Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:21 am
I decided that if reincarnation is real, I wanna come back as an SAE.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 11:14 am
Nah, SAE was part of a nice Black face incident on our campus. Tiger, Tiger, Tiger Woods y’all.
I think I would’ve went TKE as well. We still have a couple years left for our eligibility RCLS!
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Peyso hasnt been blocked for 2 weeks and running Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 11:15 am
SAE was the black white frat at my school
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Muscle Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 11:58 am
I got the grad school apps….WE OUT!
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Eff this Seattle East (formerly knows as NYC) weather! Can we have ONE rainless week. Seriously. No shots at S.Washington, the blogger or the city, but what da fcuk man!!
Eff my bank account for not having any more zeros. I need to make it big QUICK!
Eff the women who convinced me to watch Real Housewives aka “The dos and donts of Just throw it in the bag” Now I must watch weekly. shite.
Salud!
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Reecie Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 11:10 am
you know you had fun watching last night! LOl
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Eff the fact that my jobs national conf landed on the same weekend as my chapter’s biggest weekend, so i havent slept n a week, and won’t get to until sunday night
Eff the fact that my ex will be in town on Monday, and my new boo will be moving into town this weekend and I know it’s gonna cause conflict
Eff apartment hunting and high @ss chicago rent!!
Eff the fact that I haven’t had time to read my favorite blogs in a few days, cuz i’ve been working at this conference
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olivya23 Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 3:59 pm
im just gonna pray for you on #2…….Amen.
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It’s been a good week for me (and I’m still not done celebrating my b-day on Tues…lol). But, I still have some effs.
Eff the fact that I was excited to get my paycheck this week, only to have it soon-after disappear for mortgage. Eff my Friday.
Eff my dead orchid. It lasted so long and now it’s withering away. Stupid growth cycles. I love them flowers, though.
Eff fruit flies. We’ve had a lot of ‘em at work because someone overwatered their plant (they love that). They are masochists because when I swat them away, they return with MORE fervor. Like, why is the swatting MORE appealing to you? And rabbits don’t got nothing on them reproducing mofos. It’s like the Mini Million Man March with them. DIE already.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 11:11 am
@Cheekie: Fruit flies can rot in hell.
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Reecie Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 11:12 am
yes eff fruit flies! I read that if you sit out a bowl of vinegar they will be attracted to then drown in it. I haven’t tried that in awhile.
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Still Water Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 11:45 am
Try vinegar mixed with white wine and dishwashing liquid… don’t ask me why I know, but its like crack to those things.
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Cheekie Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Yeah, I read that too. I’ve been googling my butt off trying to get rid of them because there were some in my crib. One site said pour amonia down the sink drain since they like flying around the sink at night (I would do this right before leaving the house though, them fumes ain’t no joke) and I tried that. Seems to have cut down on them a lil’ bit.
I’m still thinking of trying the vinegar thing.
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BlueFlame Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 1:47 pm
The vinegar thing definitely works…ive used vinegar, coke, and dishwashing liquid mixed together
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Slim Jackson Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 2:29 pm
@BlueFlame: These fruitfly killer concoctions are hilarious btw.lol.
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Muscle Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Blow? Really? Hmm…
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Cheekie Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 3:22 pm
@RCLS: lmao @ “blow”. Like those fruit flies are little Kate Moss’s.
@Slim: They are kinda funny. Especially the visual of them drowning in the very thing they were drawn to.
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BlueFlame Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 3:24 pm
@ Slim LOL but it really does work though….
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eff the bastid at my job who’s responsible for maintaining our coffee in the office. we ain’t had sugar in 3 weeks. how can i enjoy my free damn coffee without the free damn sugar?!
eff the ominous ass clouds that keep showing up in chicago, and then it rains for 28 seconds.
eff the weatherman, too.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 11:12 am
@doJo: lol @ “the ominous ass clouds that keep showing up in Chicago”. At least the rain is short tho. Eff it nonetheless.
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Cheekie Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 1:35 pm
“eff the ominous ass clouds that keep showing up in chicago, and then it rains for 28 seconds. ”
You are a fellow Chicagoan after my own heart. Empathy like a mofo. Be ruinin’ people’s plans and ish talmbout “It’s go RAIN!” (word to the weatherman on Family Guy) It’s been doing this ALL summer. Almost everyday has been a threat of t-storms, breaking ninja’s hearts that they can’t go out to the forest preserves and BBQ, then when they get comfy with staying home, the clouds part and the sun struts in like nothing happened. Quit playin’ games with my heart, clouds!
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Eff the fact that the Admin in my office tried to convince me that I changed my shirt in the middle of the day yesterday, only to realize she was talking about the other black girl in the office. I mean there are only two of us it shouldn’t be that hard to tell the difference. Especially since we are never dressed alike.
Eff my part time job screwing with my schedule. I mean could a girl at least get a heads up that you are changing the day I work after 6 months of the exact same schedule every week. I’ve clearly been doing other things on my day off.
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Eff the fact That I have to eff anything to begin with! Why can’t things just be effin perfect!!??! Eff that!
Eff the lack of effin going on in my world.
Eff that string cheese I had the other day that just didn’t do right by me.
Eff Verizon for not making a VPhone yet. Eff Blackberry and iPhone for not effin and makin a baby yet. Perhaps some R. Kelly could do those two some good.
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Eff the orthodontist for not taking out the tooth like I asked him to before I started wearing my braces.
Eff having a lot of good stuff to write about but getting found out, so now I have to censor my own damn self.
Eff needing tires for the bike and the truck at the same time.
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Mannnnnnn eff the fact that i was craving shrimp fried rice and I finally got it…but these mofo’s only put 5 salad sized pieces of shrimp in it…wtf am i supposed to do with that…kinda salty :-/
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Eff being under the bus the ENTIRE week.
Eff jealous, crusty, underqualified, overpaid, disloyal, gossiping, co-workers. You may get paid more than me and have a Senior in front of your title, but we have the SAME job and we BOTH know that I run circles around you.
The reason why your life sucks and you are unsuccessful has nothing to do with anything more than you being a FAILURE AT LIFE.
You can only make yourself look good by making others look bad, but you do not possess the skill, knowledge or cunning nature to best me. Plus, I am already 10 steps ahead of you. Fall Back before you destroy yourself.
Wooosahhhhh….
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Aaaand I’m back…
Eff the bloodclaat p*ssyclaat eeeediot duppy bway in the office that has this passive animosity/jealousy towards me. Yea, perhaps my entry to college and hiring here could be blamed on Affirmative Action, but guess what…I’m that damn good, and I’m 100 times the man that you aspire to be. I could do your job in my sleep, wake up and still do my job twice. And my interviews are hotter…holla!
In conclusion…if a fassyhole nuh like me, go suck yuh mumma.
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BlueFlame Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 3:23 pm
wowzers…
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