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Eff ‘Em Friday
It’s that time of the week. For most of us, it’s gonna be a long weekend. We won’t be posting on Monday since we’ll prolly be too busy eating bbq, drinking potent beverages, and spiritually connecting our special places with someone of the opposite sex. Speaking of which, it’s time to eff:
Slim Jackson
Eff running outdoors. I know I did it for more than 4 years as a track and field athlete (tracklete), but that ish isn’t the same when just doin’ it for fitness. 2 miles outside is like 4 miles on the treadmill. Factor in my allergies, carbon monoxide, and sporadically appearing exercise-induced asthma, and you can see why I’d probably be better off running in a bubble like a hamster on a wheel.
Eff sour patch kids. They’re more addictive than cigarettes, p0rn, and crack cocaine. I seriously start sweating and salivating if a bag is in or around my desk. I wonder if there’s a sour patch that I can wear on my arm to ween myself off the addiction.
Eff the fact that it’s already September and I feel like I’ve barely gotten a month of summer. Rain, clouds, cool, and borderline cold weather are not what’s up between the months of May and August. Sh*t, they’re not what’s up all year around. I ain’t movin’ though.
Miss Jenkins
This week started out with me wanting to say eff the world, eff the economy, and eff companies who are too risk averse to take their heads out of their behinds to accurately predict the economic future of their companies. However, after some prayer and reflection, I realized that God is good, in good times and in bad. So no eff ‘ems this week. I’m just happy to be here.
Seattle Washington
Eff me. After reading Tiff’s post, I realized I’m a heathen. A civilized heathen, but a heathen nonetheless.
Eff my borderline workaholic nature. I’m on vacay, yet I’m still dreaming about it, waking up at 8am to do it and getting pissed off about it afterwards. I had to put the computer down for a few & tune out before I got myself in trouble.
Eff these incoming freshman. They’re moving in, looking like deer in headlights and walking around Boston without a care in the world. Eff you. I only get to walk around with a care about 1 day a wk & then maybe for a whole wk once a yr. If I’m lucky. The rest is spent toiling away on sh*t that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Eff you kid. By the way, where’s the party tonight?
That’s it for the crew. You already know what to do. Let’s get it!
Have a great weekend,
Three Ways
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Eff the stray bullet that killed Spelman Sister Jasmine Lynn, a 19 yr. old sophomore 2 weeks into the school year.
Eff the person who fired the stray bullet during a fight b/t some Clark students and locals/non-students.
Eff the fact that I used to walk alone at night along that same street, and it could have been me….
Eff the hood, and the nearly complete lack of a police presence in and around the neighborhoods surrounding Spelman, Morehouse, Clark, and Morris Brown.
Eff anyone running for mayor of Atlanta who chooses to care more for the gentrifiers than the original residents of our neighborhoods.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 7:27 am
Amen to all of that… I feel so bad for the parents.. when you send your child to college, you don’t send them to die.
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BlueFlame Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Co-sign all of this…this was everything that was running through my mind yesterday when I found out about what happened.
Eff that a shooting happened two weeks before Ms. Lynn was killed at CAU and the administration didn’t raise security because at that shooting no one was killed.
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deN.I.A.l is not a river in Egypt Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 11:51 am
I didn’t know about the earlier shooting….
Eff the CAU administration….
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Eff the fact that I didn’t get off of work until 11 last night.
Eff being up and gulping down coffee so that I can go back in as soon as possible.
Eff my useless, destructive and trifling teammate who continues to get promoted while I work like a dog and just get a pat on the back.
Eff my Emotional Intelligence Deficient boss who can’t tell that EVERYONE hates the very air that she breathes.
But thank goodness its payday AND a long weekend.
Thank goodness I have a job that I love and don’t mind staying until I’m afraid to walk to my car.
Keeping it all in perspective…
Wooosaaaah…
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 7:26 am
Thank GOD it is a long weekend (even though I’ve been off for a good minute. lol. Just greedy)
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Effe Allergies.. I”ve been off work basically since last Friday and feeling like the pitts.. I had an appointment with a wellness coach last Saturday and was well on my way to a new healthier lifestyle, working out and such, and NOW I AM BACK AT SQUARE ONE- I just wanna breath right again so I can get started.
Effe the First 48 for making me so addictive to the show that when it’s time to sleep- I dream about that scary crap.
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Eff the fact that folk want to think they know me and have the nerve to speak for me…say what now?
Eff the fact that I haven’t gone on a real vacation all year and it’s showing.
Eff the fact that when/if I DO go on vaca sh*t explodes and this place goes to hell and they’re calling me…woosah I can’t wait be back in school full time then I can eff alla dis!
But I can see my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow so I’m holding on.
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Oh and Eff UPS for trying to get away without delivery my package!!!
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I never get to post anymore cuz I can’t access the site at work. I still read loyally though.
I just wanna say – the eff em Friday stuff is hilarious to read but honestly I’ve had a great year so I can’t complain about much.
But just for fun…
Eff the street light that is 1ft outside my window that makes it impossible for my room to get dark at night.
Eff the employees at my work that abuse FMLA (HR thing…)
That’s all I can manage out — back to optimistic Steph!
Miss ya guys!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 10:26 am
I miss you Stephpoo, we miss you Stephpoo. And your comments too.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
^^^appreciate the clipse reference, Slim. It didn’t go unnoticed.
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Eff senseless violence in the AUC…
Eff the NRA for not backing some form of gun control..
Eff stupid people
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BlueFlame Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Eff senseless violence period.
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deN.I.A.l is not a river in Egypt Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Eff the violence!!!
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I have little to Eff this week (I guess everyone got lucky last wknd)
Eff my car… I have no idea wheather I should buy a new car or lease or just fix this junk. People think its easy being cheap.
Eff people borrowing money from me.
Eff Timbo for screwing up BP3.
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i must concur mr. jackson. it should be against the law to be this cold pre-labor day. boston should be sued.
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Good Eff em Fridays!
Eff alternate side of the street parking..I’m up @ 730am damn near everyday just to move my car @ 8, only to find a spot that I have to move my car again @ 11, that’s some bull.
Eff coffee and my impending addiction to it, as a kid I wouldn’t go near it, now I need it like a crackhead just to be able to function once I move my car. I work @ 3pm so there is no need for me to be up @ 730 in the morning. SERIOUSLY!
Eff dementia…I work with the elderly everyday and damn that disease for making mothers/fathers not even remember their own children! Please let me stay 27 forever!
But taking a note from Miss Jenkins I am truly thankful to have a job esp. In these tough times, and that I woke up this morning @ all..some didn’t..food for thought! And as always..Eff you!
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Toni Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Feel you on the dementia tip. My granny had dementia and it tore my mom apart. My great grandma had it too. I’m just praying no more of my loved ones get it (or me for that matter). For what are we without our memories?
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Still Water Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
My G-Ma has it right now. She talks to trees and threatens folks. Her Mom had it too. I watch my Mom pretty closely.
She gets freaked out if she forgets ANYTHING…
sigh… one day it will be me.
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“However, after some prayer and reflection, I realized that God is good, in good times and in bad. So no eff ‘ems this week. I’m just happy to be here.”
Amen to that!
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I didn’t see Ms. Jenkin’s part until this morning. I now feel like a heathen as well.lol. At least I’m a nice and polite one.
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RightCoastLexSteele, Owna Fi Di Yaaad Dem Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Ms. Jenkins,
If God didnt want you to complain, he wouldn’t have created it. At this point, you are defying God. Just who the hell do you think you are?
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Jerk.
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Eff me for not going to bed at a decent hour knowing I had to get up early.
Eff my flight for being delayed right now (for a hour) because of fog.
That’s all I got.
Thank goodness its Friday. Here’s to a four day weekend!
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Eff the fact that the reason why this summer went so fast is because we really didn’t have one.
Eff limits because there won’t be none at this Labor Day BBQ! It’ll probably be the last big one we have with nice weather.
Eff this upcoming Monday since I won’t have to come to the plantation that day! *flicks bird to Monday* You can’t destroy me this week! Go Labor Day! A day where there is no labor! YES!
Have a lovely weekend, ya’ll.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 11:33 am
Have a safe weekend cuddlebookins.
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t….
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Cheekie Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 11:52 am
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t….”
That doesn’t leave much, e-loveykins.
You have a great and safe weekend, too!
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CHeeKZ Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
yeah.. I’m not an overbearing e-boyfreind.
You could technically kill a man and use that line as a get out of court free card (no max B).
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Eff everyone who has a four day weekend. I only have a three day weekend.
Eff the iPhone for just getting MMS (well they are about to on September 25)
Eff me for not stretching properly and hurting a little today. pause.
Eff the fact that there are not a lot of people in the office today.
Eff rodents! I liked Ratatouille but not in real life.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Girl, I was about to be so hype! Sept 25th you say??
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olivya23 Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Yep!
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Eff the conservatives that think it’s a bad idea for the President to address schoolchildren on Tuesday. Seriously, that’s beyond moronic.
Eff Jouvert and the parade in Brooklyn on Monday. Yeah, I said it. Don’t get me wrong, I love the parade and all it stands for (being Jamaican and all), but I live so close to the parade route that my block will be a ruckus all weekend. Sometimes you just don’t want to bring the party back home, and this is one of those times.
Eff me for not blogging in months. Eff me again for not taking either today or Tuesday off. And finally, eff me for not following Ms. Jenkins’ example and counting my blessings.
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Eff the fact today’s the first day in 11 days I’ve been off work. And I’m up at 745am effing it on Three Ways.
Eff that I watched the interment of MICHAEL effin JACKSON on CNN last night. Like, I’m kinda feeling like my Moms did when JFK and MLK were taken too soon. Crazy. Am I getting older?
Eff the fact that my head is still on fire from that perm I effed last week. I look good tho
Eff effing up…you can’t ever go back.
Eff McDonald’s…I’m goin to In-n-Out for lunch TODAY!
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EFF THESE PAST 48 HOURS, THEY HAVE BEEN HELL ON EARTH!
Eff ppl who make last minute cancelations but were more hype than me about the event to begin with..do me & the world a favor and disappear.
Eff ppl who think I am a mind reader..I’m not gfys
Eff me for being an emotional wreck right now..I need some crown henny GM or just a bottle of port..
Eff who put me in this state of anger, It won’t last long when I get a chance to choke the ish out of you
Eff me for always being accommodating, and holding my tongue- no more of that, efffffff yoooooooooooooouuuuuuuuu
Thank you for this platform..I’m not having the best day and I feel a whole lot better thanks.
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Eff me for always trying to be a leader and getting myself in way over my head. Like who do I think I am to plan a conference for bloggers of color? I only got 20 followers on my own blog. *puts head down in shame*
Eff my committee for being so doggone on organized and motivated. When I set up a meeting, they actually show up.
Eff all the work that we are going to have to do. Find a venue, contact & obtain workshop participants, get sponsors, arrange for food, transportation, contracts, bank accounts…everything.
Eff me for being excited cause I love being in control and overananlytical. (Virgo)
Eff my supervisor for calling out today. And guess who had to give up their Friday off and chance at a four day weekend?
That’s enough effin like Miss Jenkins I’m trying to start counting my blessings and being more positive.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
“Like who do I think I am to plan a conference for bloggers of color?”
I applaude you for even trying…
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Slim Jackson Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
I think you you trying to do with the conference is a great idea. I think I’ll have some interesting ideas for you over the next few months. Can’t say too much right now though.
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Black and Trapped in Toronto Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Sorry 4 delayed response but i had the pleasure of attending a conference 4 bloggers of color called blogging while brown back in June…check the site and for ideas hit up the coordinator Gina, she’s good ppl—> http://www.bloggingwhilebrown.com
they are going into their 3rd year…have sponsors like AT&T, so they are legit
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Eff this dress I’m wearing for being clingier than I remember
Eff looking for affordable accommodation in one of the most expensive cities in the world
Eff that dude for not being the kinda dude I want him to be
Eff that other dude for not being in town
Eff lousy, lazy ass, unreliable folx
Eff Nigerian roads and all the damn potholes
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Just for the record, I’ll be back with some eff ‘ems next week. Cuz they are fun.
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Eff that i’m at work on my birthday. =( No really eff it i’m not doing any work today. Just eating cupcakes and listening to stevie wonder over and over again. Eff palm pre, sprint, and ashurion for ruining my week. Eff this i’m going home. No really eff it i’m getting paid to eat lunch and THEN going home. Its my effin birthday!! =) Eff a quarter life crisis i’m grown and sexy. Have a great my birthday everyone!! =)
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CHeeKZ Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Happy Bday to the sometimes sassy always classy, secretly sarcastic, bathroom train conducting black girl who claims she is white (I’m kinda confused on that) Joey!
Enjoy 25 b/c 26 sucks.
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deN.I.A.l is not a river in Egypt Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Happy Birthday, Joey!!
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Happy Birthday boo!
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Cheekie Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Happy B-Day, girl!
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First time responding on an Ef em friday…unfortunately I don’t have an Ef em
See Im on a boat (that was for you Slim) and tomorrow at this time I will be on my way back from basking on a Beach in Spain in 90 degree weather. have a great weekend everybody
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Slim Jackson Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Glad to hear from you nonetheless!
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CHeeKZ Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
On a Mother Effin boat with flippy flops?
We can’t post pics but.. this is how I feel:
http://img.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/joker.gif
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eff the swine flu for making me afraid to step out of my dorm room
love my roomate for having the idea to make people sanitize before they enter…but eff her for rejecting my idea just to throw a bucket of bleach at them lmao
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Slim Jackson Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
The bucket of bleach is both hilarious and awful. I almost choked on this beverage I’m consuming as a result.
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Amarie Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Then my job here is done. Glad I could be of service.
=)
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BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
September 4th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
“but eff her for rejecting my idea just to throw a bucket of bleach at them lmao”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That has to be an eff’em Classic!
I hope the squad at 3 Ways saves this one….LOLOLOLOL!
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Not sure how timbaland screwed up blueprint3 had the album all wk didn’t hear what track that was…
Any eff these bankers who send no work the last 2 wks but on today a holiday Fri we got more work than a Mexican drug cartel, and eff my supe who @ 1117 ask me to do one last job when it aint do til Tues and eff Charles Wright that’s the prick banker who insist you run his job wit legal paper the ONLY one to want this dumb shit as a result I got off too late to catch a good ride home so eff the nycmta for makin a 40 min trip into 90 min ride of garbage btw Cuban Linx 2 is nice IMO
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Eff still not havin a job 3 months after graduation.
Eff rejection emails that come after a month long process of two, hour-long interviews + a flight out of town for in person interview + you showing me a schedule and good neighborhoods to live in and taking me to breakfast two days after my interview WTF?!?
Eff $1500/mo school loan payments that come due before you even get a damn job.
Eff that good-n-sticky still being illegal when I could really use some to get me through this effed up day I’m havin.
But thank the universe for the love of strong black man who knows how to make me hit the high notes, relieve stress in a calorie burning way, and forget why I was havin such an effed up Friday to begin with (as he sleeps beside me)… But eff his job for making him work on Monday! Effin bastards!
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
September 6th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
“But thank the universe for the love of strong black man who knows how to make me hit the high notes, relieve stress in a calorie burning way, and forget why I was havin such an effed up Friday to begin with (as he sleeps beside me)… ”
Get em!
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Sounds like he was delivering super pumps.
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