Eff ‘Em Friday
It’s Friday. Wanna eff?
Slim Jackson
Eff October for obvious reasons.
Eff the swine flu or cold or whatever it is that I’ve had this week. Life has been dreary and my body has been weary. I am now an official hand sanitizer addict. I blame public transit or some random door handle for my woes.
Eff the song Atomic Dog for turning me into a beast. I was all nice and civil on a boat ride last week…until that song came on. First my hat went. Then my shirt went. Then I went. I couldn’t help but to elevate off the ground with a series of hooks, kicks, spins, and barking. At songs end, I found myself sweaty, fatigued, and raspy. Then I had to go out in the cold. Not the ice cold, but the cold. Hmm, maybe that’s why I was sick. Damn you George Clinton!
Eff the fact its been more than a year since the last time I took a week off from blogging and website administration. Even when I was in the Bahamas I was still doin’ stuff. I’m taking the next week off. Seriously. With the exception of some tweets, I ain’t doin’ sh*t. Thanks.
Seattle Washington
Eff me for procrastinating on doing the errands I needed to for this trip. Granted I’ve been extremely busy lately with work, but I had mad time to get things together. Instead of doing it in bits and pieces earlier, I now have to do a lot in a few days. With that said, I need a personal assistant. Please send all applications to seattlexwa@gmail.com or to my agent Sowhatiff Jenkins. Careful though, she’s a pitbull in a YSL pencil skirt.
Eff there always being a party in this industry. Yeah I know I just complained about not having that much time to do stuff, but hey, it’s late, I’m still at work and all the stores are closed anyway…
Eff Ghostface Killah for almost making things really awkward at work. I was blasting that new Ghostdini (if you don’t have it yet, there’s a fast lane full of traffic waiting for you) and “Stapleton Sex” came on. Needless to say the chick moaning during the intro wasn’t really appropriate for work. Although I’m pretty sure the woman that sits next to me liked it. Heyyyy.
Miss Jenkins
Eff not being able to go to my friend’s birthday party because I have to work. And eff needing money. Where the hell is my rich Daddy when I need him?
Eff people who don’t dress appropriately for the weather and wonder why they are chilly and getting sick. Its October. Put a damn fall jacket on and keep it moving.
Eff school. That’s all I’ll say about that.
Your turn, but don’t eff too hard.
The 3 Ways Crew
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EFF ALL THE DUMB FUX CAUGHT UP IN THE MATRIX! YOU ALL MAKE ME SICK…
EFF LAMAR ODOM FOR MARRYING THE 3RD BEST KARDASHIAN! WE GOT ANOTHER CHIP TO WIN FOOL SO DON’T BE MESSING UP W/THIS REALITY TV CRAP.
EFF ANYBODY FOR HATING ON MY NY JETS. WATCH US GET UP IN DREW BREES ASS THIS WEEKEND (PAUSE).
EFF THE FACT THAT I CHOOSE TO BE GRAD ADVISOR FOR MY UNDERGRAD CHAPTER AND INSTEAD OF BEING AT A STEP SHOW SURROUNDED BY TONS OF BEAUTIFUL UNDERGRADUATE FEMALES, I HAVE TO GO TO A MEETING FOR THESE FUCCO’S!
EFF THE FACT THAT I DON’T LIVE ON AN ISLAND. IS WINTER HERE ALREADY!? SMH…
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 8:59 am
How are you a Laker and a Jet fan? That don’t make no sense.
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Brookland's OWn Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:28 am
You’re so right. IT ONLY MAKES DOLLARS!
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:33 am
**salty face look.**
Why does it feel like you just smudged my face.
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Streetztalk Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:42 am
Eff your caps lock button
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Eff the chicks who walk by my office every day to see if I’m on the phone texting or blogging. Tell my boss biatches. I do it while she’s here.
Eff my boss fo coming back from her conference monday. This is my last day to eff off at work and I plan to take full advantage of it.
Eff the Army for being inglorious basterds and controlling my present life. My soldier might just get cut off on their behalf. I hate that he has to ask permission to hang out… And they say no often! Effin effers.
Eff whoever called me at 2 am for no reason. No really who the eff does that?
Eff me for pushing the snooze button 6 times this morning. You do the math to figure out how late I am to work today.
Eff this my effin thumbs are tired. I’ll come back later for more effin.
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Eff being a broke student! And eff roommates who don’t know how to use a dishwasher!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 8:37 am
Do you reside with fruit flies in addition to your roommates?
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Eff this freaking Illinois weather. It’s supposed to be fall but the wind is so frigid it feels like winter!
Eff my co workers aka The Others for not covering their darn mouths when they cough, sneeze or do anything else that involves bodily functions. Double Eff them for not believing in WASHING THEIR HANDS or USING HAND SANITIZER after these major invasions of public air that I have to breath. Triple Eff them for then using the copier, printer, fax machine or conference room phone after they have just wiped a trail of goo that came from their nose or mouth on their pants!
Whew that felt good, have a great Effing Friday!
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Eff Slim for being owt on the boat! lol. Don’t think I’ve seen you hop since junior year…
Eff the drunk driver that crashed into my parents brand new Lincoln MKS at 2am…
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:29 am
That drunk driver will more than likely be effed for the rest of his or her life.
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olivya23 Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:57 am
Did you say Lincoln MKS?! Oh my!
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nyhoop Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:19 pm
yep! white-on-white fully loaded
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Eff getting sick.
Eff it getting cold.
Eff my job, as usual.
I <3 Jesus.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:41 am
**Quietly waiting for Cheekz to sniff out the Jesus mention and say something inflammatory**
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:37 am
No need Slim. You presented my feelings just fine.
We are effing. Jesus’s name is often mentioned during good eff sessions. So are ‘i love you’s and ‘deep passionate stares’ and promises to go slowly and call tomorrow.
What do all these things have in common: THEY ARE ALL FAKE! I rest my case.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:42 am
LMAO!
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Don’t have alot to Eff today.
But I do have a shameless plug. There is a great BK Arts Festival going on sat. Open Bar. Dope Hip Hop (Termanology, DJ Statik Selektah, Cormega and of course True2Life Music). Skateboard Demo. Graph Art.
Location: Castle Braid (Court)
Address: 114 Troutman Street, Brooklyn, NY
Subway / Directions: Myrtle Ave/Bwy Stop off the JMZ Line
Start Time: 1pm (We’ll be performing around 6pm)
OPEN BAR COCKTAIL HOUR: 9PM
Damage: $10 in advance. $15 at door.
http://markbattypublisher.com/mbp-urban-arts-fest/
Also I suggest Ghost’s “Stapleton S@3″ become the theme song for the LOC.
Eff people jumping on the Jets Bandwagon. They only one last week b/c a rookie fumbled twice. The Gmen are still the best show in town.
Eff this awkward dude downstairs that keeps trying to make freinds with the other people in the office. You are encouraging a bond between people… against you. Now we get together and talk about how odd it is that you reach out to us.
Eff the NYPD. ITS THE SOUTH BRONX YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO TO LOWER CRIME RATES THAN GIVE ME A $113 PARKING TICKET AT 2:00AM ON A TUESDAY! I’m here at Sin City with the team trying to live it up, and you just took 100 bucks out of some poor single mother’s crotch.
Eff me embracing my age. I’m driving home trying to get into DJ Enuff and Clue. But I can’t listen to that new Jim Jones-Webstar/Neyo-50 cent (admit it Streetz!) crap. Than you get a good song like the Mario and they play it 1000X. Finally I switched to WBLIS. Al B Sure- Off on you own. E.U. – Da Butt. Bobby Brown – Take Control. Maybe I’m too old for Hot97.. damn. I never thought that would happen to me.
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:53 am
“you just took 100 bucks out of some poor single mother’s crotch.”
in tears in the faculty staff lounge with colleagues wondering why I am on the floor
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Ms. Cherry Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Okay just listened to Stapleton Sex and I’m so mad yet amused at the ignorance. *sigh* leave it to Toney lol…
Have you seen the video? (NOT AT ALL SAFE FOR WORK): http://en.musicplayon.com/play?v=300632&Ghostface_Killah___Stapleton_Sex
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I don’t have anything to eff today…I had a “sick day” yesterday and it was much needed. Feeling like a bright eyed, bushy tailed-winner on this here friday! my boss is outta town today thru next thursday, so I’m good!
Slim, hope you checked out that Zicam and get better. I have some with me cuz I’ve been a little on and off but nothing too major.
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Ohh how I love Fridays
On a less positive note, here are the things I am Effing this week:
Eff packing which is what I will be doing this weekend.
Eff the little studio apartment I am moving into which sits directly accross the street from million dollar condos, quick I need a dog to walk or something so I can meet the neighbors.
Eff European men with race fetishes, I will never be your black Pochahontas, I mean I love an accent but when combined with creepy pickup lines, its a no go.
Eff people who try to guess my nationality, “are you Nigerian?” “are you Ghannan?” “are you Senagalese?” Nooo (*insert profanity*) I’m JAMAICAN dammit. I mean does this only happen to black people because I’ve never seen someone walkup to a Chinese girl and go”are your Vietnamese?”, isn’t it much easier to ask me my nationality if its soooo important to you.
Eff Mariah Carey’s new sound, this album sucks, the Dream is not for everyone.
Eff the Taxi driver who refuse to take me to Brooklyn Saturday night, and when I told him it was illegal he told me he doesn’t care and pulled off. Well I got your cab I.D. asshole and I’m snitching!!!
Hope I didn’t Eff to hard Threeways, have a good weekend!
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HoldingOut Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:58 am
I love MiMi but i’m going to have to agree with you, the album is not up to par. Hmm, maybe Nick Cannon is doing to her what Jessica Simpson did to Tony Romo-steal her mojo.
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ladycakes Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:59 am
Co-sign on the nationality thing. I would love to play pinpoint the accent with you but I have better things do. Please remove yourself from my presence.
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Renee Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:38 am
See its not even about an accent, these men just see me walking on the street, so strange, maybe because I’m darkskin…that’s NYC for you.
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she's a maN.I.A.c, maN.I.A.c on the floor. And she's dancing like she never danced before. Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:50 am
that’s everywhere. happens to me, and I’m 2 generations removed on my father’s side. For me, it;s the darkskin and the dreads. I’m not Jamaican….
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she's a maN.I.A.c, maN.I.A.c on the floor. And she's dancing like she never danced before. Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:46 am
I don’t even have an accent(other than sexxySouthern), and people(mostly black folks) think I’m something else. The best was when this other black chick also waiting for the elevator whispered to me…wait for it…”Are you African?” No specific country on the continent, just are you African….unless she thought Africa was a country. smh… I told here where my grandad’s people are from, and kept it moving….
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ladycakes Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:57 am
People don’t ask me at all. They see dreads, dark skin and hear an accent and then proceed to tell me about what Usain Bolt has done for my country. I’ll tell them I’m from Tobago and they get the confused looks on thier faces as if they didn’t know Jamaica isn’t only Caribbean island.
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I cant front my life is real good right now but…
EFF the Atlantic Ocean off the south western coast of Africa for having rough seas. Been sea sick for three straight days and it doesn’t look like its going to let up till we get to Cape Town in the morning.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:19 am
Wait wait wait, are you really effing the Atlantic Ocean off the southwestern coast of Africa? Really? Well, I obviously need to step my game up.
Feel better and when you do, please take a picture and send it to us as an e-postcard.
And thanks for still checking us out remotely you jetsetter!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:26 am
Yeah homie, she’s really out in the ocean having the time of her life. I can verify this.lol.
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Eff my male co-worker for saying he would have taking action if I would ask for it. Umm…thanks but I already took care of “incident” and I don’t believe you would have because your’re a p*ssy.
Eff my professor for announcing my grade to the class. I don’t want people all in my business, I would much rather gloat about my superior grade in my head. Now I have fourteen angry people rolling thier eyes when I walk into class.
Eff extra thirsty ninjas trying to approach me. As you can see I’m already with someone and we were having some “us” time in the corner and now you have interrupted this. You’re breath stinks and you smell like pig nuts. Please back up. Oh you won’t. Did I mention that I have hellacious one two combo? Back up ninja….BACK UP.
Its a roti and Rum Punch type of weekend for me…
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HoldingOut Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:01 am
“You’re breath stinks and you smell like pig nuts”
SMHWL. Just got the stank face from my coworker bc I’m laughing extra hard and loud
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Eff the frickin cable company, they’ve been out to my crib 3 times in the past month to address the same unresolved problem, Imma start charging ya’ll rent humph!
Eff the cold, I got the heat on at my house and the car.
Eff these High School boys, please don’t approach me PERIOD! Especially if you were born anytime in the 90’s, —-keep it moving sweetie.
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olivya23 Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:15 am
This sounds like a Comcast problem. Do you have Comcast?
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Tonda Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:54 am
Yup!
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Eff procrastination. It took me two weeks to list an item on ebay which then sold within an hour. Lesson learned: if it’s money in my pocket it goes to the top of the list.
Eff it when these statements don’t add up! I have spent too much time glaring at excel trying to make this work out. I is no happy!
On behalf of my mami: Eff being out of work for so long and eff interviewers that never get back to you, even when they talk you up about loving you for the job. I know it’s tough, but we got your back.
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Eff me for leaving my lunch on the kitchen counter.
Eff the fact that I will have to purchase lunch today, when I have some great Chinese food sitting on my kitchen counter.
Eff Slim for making me reminisce about my ex and his big dumb hopping out of his clothes azz whenever Atomic Dog was played. LOL. SMH.
Eff having to work this weekend. Eff me for being constantly on my grind….I need a vacation.
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Reecie Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:21 am
“Eff me for leaving my lunch on the kitchen counter.
Eff the fact that I will have to purchase lunch today, when I have some great Chinese food sitting on my kitchen counter.”
I hate this for you. I really really hate when that happens!
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Eff my money not knowing how to stay in my pocket. I gotta get a 2nd gig and not somewhere that I will be buying all the clothes.
Eff my sister & best friend for not telling me when my outfits aren’t working but discussing it amongst themselves.
Eff having all this work to do & not even wanting to get started!
Eff the exes that have crawled out of the woodwork talking about I owe them & when can we hang out. Really, I mean really though… I don’t owe ya’ll nothing and I’m definitely not the same woman now that I was then. Get over it & move on cause I have
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:43 am
In the last 3-6 months a lot of women have talked about ex’s coming after them for some bunz or to rekindle the flame. What the eff is going on nowadays?
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T Dot Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:47 am
Hell if I know but they need to stop acting like I don’t know they still have girlfriends right now. I am not your jumpoff!
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:50 am
Easy Smeezie Sheezies.
Jenkins did a cool blog about this from the approached angle. But no one is willing to admit that they have actually called their ex.
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Reecie Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:22 am
its getting cold out. everybody wants a cuddle buddy when the seasons change. LOL
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Anonymous Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:39 am
exactly
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Renee Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:29 am
Co-sign on the exes:
1st I’m already over you, why are you still hung up on the past?
2nd, Don’t men understand that after a certain amount of time has past, dipping is kinda gross. Maybe its just me but once my feelings are gone, I just don’t to see you anymore, especially not for sex.
3rd, the “you owe me” line is so pityful, its almost like begging, what’s that suppose to mean, am I to do you a favor and give you some? Hahahaha. Definetly Eff’em
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:50 am
**chirp**
yo. I just want to say. Just b/c I defend a position does not mean that I actually partake in that activity.
But real talk.. just b/c you break up doesn’t mean all that effort put into the relationship goes away. People remain freinds due to the bonds they made during the relationship. So you call your freind (who already has let you pipe, so its not like you are adding to your number) and you hook up the sheezies.
**that’s what friends are for**
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Renee Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:44 pm
That’s a waste of my time if I already know I don’t want you.
I haven’t been able to stay friends with exe’s even when I tried, men separate themself from you once they’ve been rejected. And sure I would love to just have sex with an ex and keep my number down, but then it would be cold for me to either ask them to leave 15 mins after we’re done, or makeup some lame excuse on why I can’t stick around, because I wouldn’t be intersted in the cuddling bs. I just don’t believe in staying friends / boning ur ex, it doesn’t work, if I still wanted to bone you, I woulnt have left in the first place.
And don’t *chirp* me, I speak the truth!
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Are you coming to seattle?
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Eff this involuntary celebacy…8 months and counting…
Eff these lame ninjas i’ve been meeting that have made me glad to be celebate.
Eff not having batteries.
Eff me being frustrated.
Eff RightCoastLexSteele for that post on SBM that i shall not be commenting on that put me in this mood. Thanks a lot!!!!!!!!!
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she's a maN.I.A.c, maN.I.A.c on the floor. And she's dancing like she never danced before. Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:19 am
FML!! I just read RCLS post on my Google Reader. dammit!! Now, my
mind will be on the greateness that is face all effing daywhole day is eff’d up….Reply
BlueFlame Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:39 am
I was doing so good! Up until today…now i can not concentrate. At all.
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Eff the annual ritual of pulling out my booties, petticoat and pantaloons for old man winter…I was in pum pum shorts seems like just yesterday…I hate cold weather eather eather eather
Eff the fact that my loved ones held an intervention for my coffee addiction…yea I call it the drink of champions, yea I am a champion, but I only have 1-2 cups a day…it’s not that bad…nonetheless I haven’t stocked up on coffee at home and I am down to half a cup w no sugar in the mornings.
Eff the fact that the ppl who held the intervention drank and smoke on the reg and I keep that ish to a minimum…hypocritical mofos gotta love em
Eff getting invited to bday parties and having to decline because I’m selfish and I want to use that $$ for a Korean body scrub extravaganza..I’m thinking I should even state the reason for my decline..be honest.. upfront..get deleted of their friends list y’know the good stuff
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Eff having to sleep in a hoodie and sweatpants under a down comforter because I don’t wanna turn on the heat.
Eff my space heater for smelling like burnt hair when I turned it on then setting off the fire alarm and waking up my roommate.
Eff UPS for getting my hopes up about my package that was supposed to arrive yesterday.
Eff my personal trainer’s lame a**. He was trying to flirt with some girl while training me. What? Get that lame a** pick up line outta here.
Eff the man that was supposed to be making my dress for the Nigerian Independence Day party. It’s been 2 months and you haven’t finished my dress and you knew I was gonna be in a different state. Eff you sir, EFF YOU!
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Eff the IOC/Obama/Scottie Pippen for trying to get Chicago to host the 2016 Olympics…the Olympics need to be in Tokyo to give me a reason to visit my mother-in-law’s place there! (http://blog.frenzoo.com/.a/6a00e55055d1ee883301156f3b4945970b-500wi)
Eff RIM for taking THIS long to release a desktop manager for blackberry users with Mac computers! (www.blackberry.com/mac)
Eff Drew Brees for only scoring 5 points for my fantasy football team last weekend. You better be glad I still won!
Eff Brett Farve for coming out of retirement a 2nd time…does he think he’s the white Michael Jordan?? And eff this week’s Monday Night Football game for overhyping Farve’s game against Green Bay. Who cares?!?!
Eff Gatorade for false advertisements…you ain’t really ‘G’! Throw some liq in there, and then we’ll talk!
Eff Gucci Mane for sittin on tracks and just yelling…GUCCI!
Eff Wendy’s for not bringing back the Monterrey Jack Chicken Sandwich as a staple sandwich.
Eff ACL ligaments for tearing…keeping me away from sports for 12+months…and having to go under the knife Tuesday 10/6 to replace my ACL by a cadaver’s. EFF!
Eff the cold weather like everyone else has said in this post. 69 degrees this weekend is NOT a good look. I don’t even want to go outside! (shots fired @ peeps on east coast)
Eff the down economy for not giving me and other coworkers the confidence to bounce out of the workplace for greener pastures.
Eff Byron Hout and Boise State’s football program TWICE! We all saw Oregon running back LeGarrette Blount throw a punch at dude, and wyld out at the crowd…but what did Hout say to Blount to provoke the punch and breakdown? Why hasn’t that been aired out on Sportscenter? Did his comments have something to do with shuckin’ and jivin’? Maybe eating watermelon and chicken…or maybe he said something to the tune of “Go back to Oregon you cotton picker!” I think the media gets a eff you shout out too for not probing the “palm” people who might have started/provoked the whole situation. Right after the game, numerous microphones were in LaGarrette’s face…but no one asked Mr. Hout why he ran up on LaGarrette..yelled something while hitting him on the shoulder pads. Yep…eff the media.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:29 am
This was one helluva eff. Pause/No Homo.
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eff my boss for calling a 3pm meeting, when i had very specific plans of dipping out at 1 to prepare for my bday fest
eff ummm, yeah, nothing else really, cuz my bday is tomorrow and im all smiles…
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Eff the old man who walked past me with a cane and then proceeded to say (to no one in particular really), “I love the way you shakin’ that a*s” making me burst into a fit of laughter until my tummy hurt. I mean, he looked like a loony toon, but I never expected that to come from him. Unpredictable nicca. (he was a 2520, actually…but still)
That’s all I can eff because we just had a “state of the firm” meeting a couple days ago and the bigwigs just announced the firm is doing well enough where there’s no plans for layoffs like the rumors were saying. *sigh of all kinds of relief* So, yeah, I’m thankful.
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@blueflame
I went 2 years, 8 months… Then crashed and burned. =/ just remember God sees your efforts. It gets easier (and then worse).
@renee
Omg I hate european men with race fetishes!!! Wtf. They are SO aggressive and creepy.
Also, it does happen to Asian people. My niece is Mexican but looks Asian and ppl come up to her all the time and speak to her in their native tongue. It also happens to me with all latinos, brazilians, ethiopians, indians, pretty much everyone just wants you to be something else.
@cheekZ
I love Jesus, and what do you mean love is fake? You said you loved me e-sancho!!
@intellectual
Give the Cape my regards and tell her I’ll be there e’r long!!! World Cup 2010 hollerrrr!!!!
@Slim
Did you try the jack? Don’t hate on my remedy it works!!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:52 am
Didn’t have any Jack at my fingertips last night. That’s not just sumthin I have handy in the crib.lol.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:19 pm
no no no my e-slide off.
I said I love doggy. Not Joey. You probably couldn’t hear me between the sound of your ass smacking against me and your face being buried in a pillow.
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BlueFlame Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:20 pm
@blueflame
I went 2 years, 8 months… Then crashed and burned. =/ just remember God sees your efforts. It gets easier (and then worse). –>Worse?! LOL now that’s encouraging!
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she's a maN.I.A.c, maN.I.A.c on the floor. And she's dancing like she never danced before. Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:24 pm
I’m at the 2 year mark now….and it did get easier, but now I’m in the worse phase. pray for me….
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BlueFlame Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I shall!
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Eff that my house was so damn cold. Do i seriously have to sleep fully dressed?
Eff my roommate who I know has the money but refuses to pay rent, cable, gas or groceries on time?
Eff the 3 train for being stuck in the station.
Eff my boss for being so nice. He lets the other execs walk all over him.
Eff me for telling my bosses coworkers off in the meeting and calling the execs out on their inability to work and be effective leaders.
Eff that I probably wont be here much longer though
Last but definitely not least, EFF TD BANK FOR EFFING W/ my money. How your new system roll out last week means I cant get money out of my account all week. I hope BoA is ready for me.
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Eff the state of New Jersey for making me a temporary fugitive, smh
Eff the LIRR for wanting to run on time all a sudden. Got a brother lookign like Usain Bolt every am!
Eff the frat for fraternalism. You take Ls, but eff it they my brothers, right? lol
Eff my neck for halting week 8 of the P90X-perience. I hit my 60 day mark but my process was stopped so… and another week to the program. Eff you Tony Horton!!!
Eff Slim for not responding to my last DM about next weeks Eff em Friday! Eff that im snitchin. lmao
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:58 am
I thought I responded ya bastard.lol. It’s covered for next week.
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Streetztalk Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:39 pm
LOL cool
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T Dot Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:59 am
Just pay the ticket, NJ does not play & will promptly lock you up when they catch you. I’ve seen it happen to a friend of mine more than once.
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Streetztalk Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Err umm lil too late for the ticket pay… gotta handle that in one shot [||] Monday. No NJ Drive for me until then! lmao
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Eff waking up horny with no one to turn over and give the tap to.
Eff living in an efficiency… my apt is never dirty but this one room shit gets messy so easily.
Eff stupid men… my homeboy informed me that he was wary of asking to crash at my crib for the weekend cause he didn’t want to hear ish from his ppls about staying at my place… Eff his friends, what… just because I open my house to someone and get them free reign over the couch means I gotta be opening my legs and giving them free reign over the coochie?!?!? WTF is that bull ish about!?!?! They can kiss my whole a$$!!! I may be horny but I’m not easy. You can sleep on the couch but over step and I will punch you in the balls. YES, the balls!
Eff siblings… my sister keys into my house yesterday after I ignored her calls and the door bell. Walks in my kitchen with an attitude like “are you avoiding me?!?!” Then asks what I’m cooking, looks through my fridge “oh you went grocery shopping”, then brings a pack of frozen, freezer burned ass chicken and goes “while you’re cooking can you cook this too? THANKS!!” and walks out… WHAT THE EFF!?!?!?!
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:16 pm
No lie. If I was your house guest this weekend and I knew about the first eff…THERE WOULD BE NO WAY wouldn’t try something.
You don’t kind of wish that he would try something?
Its Eff’em Friday. Honesty is the most important part, Cherry.
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Ms. Cherry Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:48 pm
If it was anybody else maybe, but this is my boy. It ain’t happening. He’s tried and failed enough times before to know it’s not worth the nut punch lol.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Friend Zone…
It hurts.
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“Eff the swine flu or cold or whatever it is that I’ve had this week. Life has been dreary and my body has been weary.”
Co-sign. Nobody wants to be interviewed by the sick reporter.
Eff the 50 million cats always gathered around my apartment. Apparently my front door is the hangout spot. Was there an audition for Cats that nobody told me about?
Eff this sudden cold front. It was 102 on Monday then suddenly 62 on Tuesday. Florida, please do better. This is why I’m sick in the first place.
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eff lurkin-i gots ta eff!
eff my wack azz company for keeping it colder than an Eskimos balls
eff my stylist for going up on her prices-again
eff the economy for justifying the above
eff my clear coworkers – just eff em for being so effin self-righteous
whew i feel effin awesome now.
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In the words of Miss Cherry, “Eff waking up horny with no one to turn over and give the tap to.”
Eff nosy co-workers, no I’m not telling you what’s wrong. Go away.
Eff the fat chick who was the cause of my hour of unpaid overtime.
Eff me if my hours get cut.
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Eff Louisiana for being soooo hot. All year round.
Eff history class for taking up so much of my time.
Eff the girl who attacked my boss for firing her.
Eff my job.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:32 pm
I kinda wonder what she did to get fired in the first place.
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K Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:37 pm
The boss didn’t give her a reason. He just said your services are no longer needed, and she went crazy.
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