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Eff ‘Em Friday Vol.2
Slim
1. Eff people who piss on the toilet and leave it there. I understand that every now and then we get a case of the split stream, but wipe that f*ckin sh*t off! How do you leave hot piss on the seat and think that’s okay? Just take a small piece of tissue and wipe it off. It literally takes like 5 seconds. Just cuz you didn’t drop a deuce doesn’t mean you gotta make life more difficult for the next man. Bastard.
2. Eff bums. Just because I have a suit on doesn’t mean I have an extra few dollars in my wallet. You want me to take this dollar bill out of my wallet? Do I have a debit card? F*ck you.
3. Eff 40s. Yes, I still drink them occasionally. Do.Not.Judge.Me. But eff ‘em for making me feel like booboogas today. Steel Reserve used to be my friend…now it’s a bitter enemy.
4. Eff you. Just kidding.
Miss Jenkins
1. Eff elevator etiquette. I hate that I feel rushed off of a phone call, or like I have to get all quiet and stiff when I get in an elevator full of people. Its getting old.
2. Eff people who are not saddened by the death of Michael Jackson. If not for anything else, respect the man’s musical legacy and be sad that no one will be able to be as great. No one can say that they never rocked hard to one of his songs, tried to moon walk, tried the crotch grabby thing he does, or tried and failed at the moon walk. And eff CNN for taking so long to report the news.
3. I’m still pissed that it looks like Seattle on the east coast. Yes I said it again. June comes around so I can get my sun kissed glow. Sadly that has yet to happen. Thankfully July is near.
Seattle Washington
1. Eff Uppety Negroes. I walk into the elevator the other day only to be stared down by some token Banana Republic model who looks like me like I don’t belong. What? Are you looking at me funny because I have on a hoodie and jeans at work? Man, my job is better than yours, I get more satisfaction from my gig, I’ll ultimately end up making more money off my career and I don’t have to put on a monkey suit to do it. So yes, quickly look down at your Blackberry before I smack the taste out of your mouth.
2. Eff Being Forced into Social Situations. I’m an extrovert, but I also hate being forced to do something. Quite the connodrum when it comes to peer pressure. So please, don’t make me feel like I need to attend a party. I will oblige and drink one beer. But I will drop a smoke bounce and bounce quickly like Shinobi.
3. Eff the fact that I can’t think of a third thing to be mad about. I mean the Uppety Negro bothered me earlier this week and the forced social interaction bothered me yesterday, but nothing’s really happened in between. Eff the fact that folks know to leave me alone during the week because of my scowl. Also eff my new calm disposition and overall nonchalant demeanor towards the small bullshit that happens in everday life. All this isn’t good for Eff Em Fridays and my writing career.
…And with that said, tell us why you’re mad son!
The Three Ways Crew
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Eff the alarm on repeat that the roommate keeps sleepin thru. I’m tryna SLEEP!!! Wake up or turn it the eff off!!!
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EFF MICHAEL JACKSON BEING GONE
R.I.P. “KING OF POP” 1958-2009
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Cheekie Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 8:16 am
This is my exact sentiments. I’m pretty consumed with this so I can’t really eff anything else. I’m still in a state of shock.
Hope everyone has a lovely weekend.
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Eff my life for sitting here and listening to the “Hair” cast tribute to Michael Jackson on GMA…of course it’s not good enough
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A hoodie and jeans? Seattle, I need to forward u a resume.
1. Eff the tv show this weekend: It’s gonna be nothing but MJ specials and videos on. I’m saddened by the man’s death too, but do we need to consume ourselves with it day in and day out? Let his family morn.
2. Effe the fact that it’s 9:02 am and I’m already starving. SHAT, I had some Cap’n Crunch before work.
3. Effe men that are social retards: I get so SICK of walking downtown to work everyday (I have a distance to get to my car) and getting oggled at or getting my personal space invaded by some weirdo.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 9:17 am
You’re #1 is exactly how I feel.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Its on every blog. I have no Friday entertainment.
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1. Eff everyone who called out today because “you needed to take time to mourn MJ” & left me with your work load. WTF?!? He wasn’t yo damn daddy/mother/2nd cousin twice removed. People die, get over it. It’s sad, I know. BUT how long is this shit gonna last.
2. Eff all of my co-workers telling me my dress was too short yesterday. You old hoes just mad that y’all couldn’t wear it & y’all mad that I have beautiful legs sans vericose veins and stretchmarks.
3. Eff Storm Champion from ABC7 telling me that it wasn’t going to begin raining until late afternoon. LIARS!
4. Eff Dunkin Donuts for making my coffee black when I asked specifically for a Medium Coffee with milk and 3.5 sugars.
TGIF, have a great weekend guys!
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ashbunnie Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 11:47 am
oh yeah EFF my hubby for cancelling date night for a trip to the damn studio with some dudes who cant even rap.
EFF HIM, TWO MIDDLE FINGERS TO HIM.
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1. eff the media for keep bringing up MJ’s troubles… i mean, the man just DIED… can we celebrate his life and his accomplishments? sheesh…
2. eff working late hours, performance reviews, stupid networking events, workplace politics, and go-hards… my last day of work is two weeks away, and it can’t come soon enough. if i didn’t need these last two paychecks, i’d be out already.
3. eff the fact that my friends got to go to Chi-town this wknd and i couldn’t. oh well, i’ll be in Los Angeles and Vegas next month… holla!
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1. Eff Maxwell for only having nine tracks on his first album in 7 years. I mean…I know he’s coming out with a trilogy, but come on! He coulda at least put 12 on there. I was done with the whole album on my commute to work. Sheesh!
2. Eff clients who are two dumb (yes, “two” and not “too”…I’m talking double dumb) to send a check with their kajillion dollar deposit as Certified Mail Receipt. You work down the street, and I still haven’t received the check you wrote two weeks ago! Uhm…who writes checks anymore, anyway? You shoulda just sent me that credit card authorization like I told you in the first place. Now I gotta go pick that mess up, on my precious lunch break.
You better be lucky I’m meeting up with boobookins to get some mid-day pumps.3. Eff Dunkin Donuts. I have no particular qualms to report, for I’m just a die-hard Starbucks indulgent and it’s necessary that I SHUUUUNNNN those who dare compete.
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OrangeStar616 Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 11:17 am
Starbucks nasty as he11, say NO to jet fuel disguised as coffee LOL.
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Nyela "I Wish New York Would Sleep" Goodness Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
SHUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!
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Eff the rain for cancelling my tee time yesterday. I was gonna whup some ass w/ my bad ass hybrids.
Eff NYS Republicans
Eff the Governor of SC for general stupidity
Eff Cavs fans that think Shaq is gonna get them over the hump
Eff Seattle for looking down on monkey suit negroes w/ blackberry’s. I make this suit and my blackberry look good prick.
Eff Tiff just because. (I kid, I kid)
Eff CNN for taking twitter and facebook as gospel to report what’s crackin in Iran, but being way late on MJ’s death
Eff me for being so damn good lookin
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Seattle Washington Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Not looking down on the monkey suit, looking down on the monkey inside of it. Regardless, eff you too. Y’know if you could rock a hoodie and a pair of kicks to the gig you would. Don’t hate me because I have that option!
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RightCoastLexSteele, Jacked Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Actually I’d probably still rock the business gear cuz the white folks on other floors think I’m a “suit”. (i.e. why are there so many of you suits around today)
….Very self absorbed, I know.
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young I you was not drinking no 211 LMAO……
Eff thirsty brawds that thirsty for another brawd- attention friendship validation or whateva, get some true shine, some style, some business and LIFE then you won’t be so concerned UGHHH bout lil ol me..you’ll be too busy doing you my friend……
Eff FAME, give me the fortune tho!!!
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EFF Perez Hilton for calling MJ’s death a hoax to get out of his upcoming London concert obligations and Double Mother EFF him for trying to recant his statements and trying seem apologetic. That’s why he got EFFING punched in the face!
EFF people who think I look better without my glasses!
EFF people who were calling Micheal Wacko Jacko on Monday but are now saying he was the greatest musical of generations.
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Eff the approved NY rent hike.
Eff the NY senate – GET TO WORK OR GET THE EFF OUT OF OFFICE!!!
Eff the metrocard fare increase.
Eff the fact that I need to work two jobs.
Eff the fact that my firm is moving and packing these boxes is ruining my got damn manicure.
Eff men that believe “some good D” will cure my overall bitchy-ness.
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Black and Trapped in Toronto Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
“Eff men that believe “some good D” will cure my overall bitchy-ness.”
YOU KNOW!!!
D*ck will make you slap somebody!!!!!!
lmao
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ashbunnie Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
“Eff the metrocard increase”
EFF MTA, BLOOMBERG, AHOLE PATTERSON.
EFFFFF YOU! WTF is a quarter more going to do anyway?!? Remember when the fun pass was 4 dollars?!? 8.25 now.
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RightCoastLexSteele, Jacked Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
You like how Kevin Parker called the Governor “a coke sniffin’, staff banging motherfucker”?
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Black and Trapped in Toronto Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
roflllllllllllllll!!!
And that is why I am not in a relationship…eff u smart ass!!!
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Terry Lang Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
I thought that was so on point. Ever since he came into office, I’m like “something about this dude isn’t right.” You looks so disheveled. Shave your effing face already!! Effing crack-headed man-whores that get into office!
Eff Kevin Parker, his b*tch-as* is part of the effing problem too
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*Eff nosey muthaf*ckas @ work who feel the need to ask me about my love life. I’m interesting I know. I spend 40 hrs+ with you a week. I know. But me and the business of my heart & kitty is exactly that- my own!
*Eff ppl on twitter who keep retweeting MJ links and sayings.
*Eff ppl who are so “follow fashion”
*Eff ppl who complain about the heat in Toronto because winter was here up until a week ago..go sit down!
*Eff ignorant ppl who think that issues surrounding race should be swept under the rug…….
Happy Friday, thanks for the chance to vent 3ways fam and lastly EFF YOU (ok not really)
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OrangeStar616 Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
co-sign the nosy mofos @ work …
@ the good phallus comment honey the right one would have me not caring if the sky was falling LMAO, I’d be all glib like “oh look chile, a piece of the sky just fell” and casually mosy on off LOL…SMH you just don’t know your whole disposition/outlook/ demeanor is subject to change
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Black and Trapped in Toronto Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
I’m not saying I dont appreciate a good nourishing extra strength helping of vitamin D..I’m just saying some dudes seem to use it as a cure all….
oh and 
like for example…boo comes home late for 3 nights in a row…bending it like beckman will not only make me holllllllerrrrr louder but it wont hide the issue at hand..which is…so whtf were you???
but in general it will put a permasmile on my face
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RightCoastLexSteele, Jacked Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
If it was that much of a problem, you’d ask the question first before grabbin ur ankles.
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Black and Trapped in Toronto Reply:
June 26th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
oh i put my response in the wrong box…blonde moment smh…
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i’m in a happy mood. sun is shining. work is done. i got money in my pocket. life is good. bout to hit happy hour in a little bit.
with that said. i don’t have anything to eff. have a great day!
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Eff people who make plans with you and cancel at the last minute for lame reasons… especially if you are forgoing another engagement to hang with their punk a$$es ….
(woo that felt good to let out….)
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