Eff ‘Em Friday
Admins Note: Its Friday. The work week is over, and there are at least 3 things that some one has done or said to you to piss you off this week. So as you look forward to the weekend, get that ish off your chest. We’re are about to do the same. Let’s go.
Miss Jenkins:
1. Can we puhleeze get some sunshine? I mean, damn. Monday through Friday since the month started, the weather has been dark, cloudy, and wet (pause). What the eff is good??? I thought this was summer time on the east coast. I blame Seattle for this.
2. Yesterday, I went out for drinks after work with some of my fellow interns. We are wrapping up our 5th week in the program, and this dude still has the nerve to call me by some other intern’s name. And the worse part…the chic is white. I’d let him rock for a sec if he mixed me up with a black girl. We all know that happens daily. But really? Get your effin’ act together.
3. The new iPhone update came out earlier this week. ::does cabbage patch:: And yeah, I have it on my phone now, and it is fab. But I need Apple to get their ish together and let the world know that when you say June 17th, you don’t mean 12:01am. I was tight when woke up at 6am, plugged my phone in, and got nothing. I didn’t find out til 10am that the update wasn’t coming out til 1pm. Yeah I know, only a few hours, but eff that! I was ready! ::
Seattle Washington:
Eff that, just cause every city in the North looks like my namesake doesn’t mean I’m the one doing it. Who do I look like? Storm from the X Men? Now to the topic at hand…
1. Work gripe. Co-Worker: “Seattle, can you do X by tomorrow?” Me: “It’s a little short notice, but that’s cool. I’ll need details like A, B & C.” CW: “Oh, well we don’t know that yet.” Me: “Well I need that info to do X.” CW: “Can’t you just do X?” Me: “No, I need you to do your job so I can do mine.” Moral of the story, don’t ask me to do something if you haven’t done your job first.
2. Apple Updates. Don’t advertise there’s going to be picture messaging and then write in uber small, fine, rice sized print on the website that it isn’t coming out until late summer. I’m tired of having to visit a website with a username and password that’s about as complicated as the DiVinci Code to access some picture that I’m only going to look at for 2 seconds, tops! Eff that! For all that effort, I might as well get a supplementary naked picture of Rihanna or Cassie sent to my phone. But then I’d need a username and password for that. Bollocks!
3. Phone call etiquette. I’m all about checking in and talking with friends. Matter of fact, I prefer the phone call over the texting or Facebook when it’s important or someone I haven’t talked to in awhile. But good friend, please don’t ask me if I have a second and then turn that into a 10 minute conversation. I said I have a second. That is enough time for a quick question and a concise, yet thoughtful, response. Don’t make it seem like you want to invite me to the club and then hit me with a story that belongs in a Tyler Perry movie. I’ll treat you like I do him and quickly turn you off.
Slim Jackson:
1. Eff sand flies and their delayed effect. I know I got bit a few times the day before I came back to the States. But why the eff have the bites started to show themselves more over the last few days? 20 bite bumps 2 days later. 40 bite bumps 3 days later? This sh*t is awful!
2. Eff the white people that feel like they always need to approach me on egg shells. I’ve never gotten angry at you before and I’ve been working here more than a year. Why are you so nervous?!
3. Eff the chick at the deli who made me one of the sh*ttiest sandwiches in history. More does not always mean better you meat stackin ho! Woosah.
Your turn.
Meditating,
The Three Ways Crew
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Eff it. I popped this posts cherry since I got to work at 5am.
1. This weather in Philly lately has me thinking I live in the Pacific Northwest. This weather is depressing and it makes me stay at work later just b/c I don’t feel like walking out to my car when its raining, so I wait til it slows down. Hopefully my boss sees it.
2. This iPhone craze is pretty wild, but its even funnier from the outside since i still rock my Sidekick like its 2004. If I had an iPhone I would get fired b/c I would get less work done than I do now. Those stall naps might be a wee bit longer too.
3. I got too many friends. Im talking real life and not Tweet land. Since Memorial Day weekend, I have been to a wwedding every weekend BUT 1 and tomorrow I got TWO! The hell is everyone getting married for? I mean I got engaged b/c I have good reason, my chick of 12 years was about to leave my ass if I didnt! These people barely know each other. Crazy Indian people succumbing to the pressures of family I guess. Stop getting hitched, its killin my wallet dishin out a hotel room and non-boxed gift every time.
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EFF QUITTINg!
1) So I tried to create my own fast/rehab and retire for 40 days and 40 nights of smoke, drank n putang since I turned 25 but i’ve cheated several times. I figure maybe I don’ t need to quit. Haha. But in my heart of hearts, i’m going to start next week Monday.
EFF THESE BILL/DEBT COLLECTORS (and anyone else w/they hand in my pockets)
2) When you I was a youth, and a teen and in college, I never heard or knew about half of these people. Now that i’ve graduated and become a working professional these vultures want some damn money from me every month. If I lived in a BIG MAJOR city, i’d be broker than Todd Bridges. SMH. Just leave me ALONE! I’ll pay you when I get it…
EFF MY BOSS!
3) So I just started a new job roughly about 2mnths ago and my Boss slyly throws in comments about me running the job and running the site while he’s gone or ask me questions which he knows I don’t have the answer to. Man i’m just trying to make it past this 90 day probation period. After that you can ask me anything you want.
EFF WEEKDAYS (EXCEPT PAY DAYS)
4) TGIF!
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1.) Coworkers
Don’t be a moron then wonder why I don’t speak to you. I can’t stand morons
2.) MTA
Going my way you say? I think naught. Made me late 2/5 days this week. Grrrr. Fare hike my ass.
3.) De Negros
I can’t stand black folk with entitlement issues. You feel entitled? To what exactly? Wait I dont care, just dont call my office with that BS.
4.) Weathermen
Overpaid LIARS!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
June 19th, 2009 at 9:09 am
lol @ weathermen being overpaid liars.
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Doc S Reply:
June 19th, 2009 at 9:38 am
The only profession where you get paid even when you are wrong! Kid’s that put their clothes on backwards when little most likely will become a weatherman when they grow up!
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1) People hating on the Pacific NW
I’m gettin sick of it. If u’r NOT from the Pacific NW, STOP USING IT ANALOGOUSLY to the shitty weather we’re having out east. I keep the weather forecast for my city locked into my phone (in addition to Boston & NYC, for comparative reasons lol) and 8/10 times the weather in Portland has knocked the clouds off the weather out here. Summer in the Pacific NW is ill: 88-90 avgs, clear skies & no humidity. & truth be told, it doesn’t rain ALL the time. Yeah, Seattle way more than Portland, but it’s seasonal & predictable, which beats the eff’ed up weather cycles out here… snow if April? Pshhh. Just don’t talk about what u don’t really know about.
2) People mispronouncing my state.
It’s NOT OreGONE, it’s OreGUN, like how u say Washington. Oregon & Washington – they rhyme. Let’s practice: Ore-GUN. Good. Hearing it mispronounced is like hearing nails scratching a blackboard – it’s shrill. & yes, “Oregon” in the Oregon trail game is pronounced the same way too. Some chick thought she was gonna school me & told me, “well the state might be pronounced that way but the game isn’t.” What!? Wooosah. Silly bia.
3) More iPhone subscripting
The iPhone updates are AMAZING!!! So excited that I had a whole gchat convo w/ another iPhone user about all the fxns as I was discovering them. I was extremely hype about the new tethering fxn, where no matter where u r, if ur iPhone is connected to your comp via bluetooth or a USB, u can access the net on ur comp using the iPhones 3G connects. AMAZING!!! I would never get blocked in the airport, have to worry about wi-fi passcodes, or be sol in the middle of nowhere ever again as long as I had my phone on me… & then I read the subscript: “tethering is unavailable in the US & select countries.” Eff that!!! Greedy countries.
4) Tag happy people on facebook.
Look, if u want to draw attn to a random, crazy, or eff’ed up pic, DON’T tag ur friends. Facebook has created several ways in which to share media. For example, there is a “SHARE” option. Click on it. It will give u the option of sending the media in a messg to ur friends OR to post the media to ur own profile wall where ur friends will see it in their newsfeeds. U can also post media directly to ur friends walls so they will be sure to see it when they log on later. Please don’t force ur friends into seemingly condoning some random, crazy, eff’ed up ish by tagging them on some random, crazy, eff’ed up pic. Facebook etiquette.
All in a week…
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Ambassador of All Things Arrogant Reply:
June 19th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Eff the Pacific NW. No reason.
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Rox Reply:
June 21st, 2009 at 4:26 pm
that ain’t funny hun… totally unprovoked as I’ve been backin the east since I started gettin educated out here. but I guess I can’t really expect anything more from most east coast ppl than blatant disregard for anything “other.”
btw, clear skies, sunshine & high 70s through the next week out there. glorious =D
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Rox Reply:
June 21st, 2009 at 4:38 pm
BUT I guess I still love my east cost ppl, both arrogant & non, for their perspective, keeps me on it… Go Lakers mwaha
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
June 19th, 2009 at 11:54 am
funniest contribution of the day. i love it. lmao
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Eff…the shoes I wore Monday that were brand new but, soo damn tight I could barely walk by the end of the day. Yea…those are getting RETURNED!
Eff…that Beyonce` DVD video anthology it has all the videos I already own…why didn’t she do videos for Radio, Video Phone, and Sweet Dreams? Why the hell would I buy all the videos I own and can see on Youtube for free. (P.S. I’m a Bey stan so I was upset)
Eff…doin’ laundry.
Eff…the weather in NYC. It’s making me more depressed.
Eff…the fact that I work in Bklyn don’t get off till five and my friend wants me to go to an event in Bklyn that starts @ 7:30. Keep in mind this is a party not an afterwork event so, I’d have to take an hour train ride home, change, then change and take an hour and change ride back to Bklyn. That makes no sense! Eff…that I’m staying home, homie!
Last but not least…
Eff…work stalkers. Sexual harassment is real and I’m currently experiencing it.
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eff all the people at my job. no reason really. they just repulse me.
eff the little boy who stepped on my toe this morning on the train and eff his mom for not instructing him to say sorry.
eff the lady in the payroll department who messed up my damn check again for like the 12th time this year.
tgif, have a great weekend everyone.
& happy father’s day to any of you babydaddies in the blogosphere.
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Eff Massachusetts
I just generally hate Massachusetts and all of New England for that matter. Eff New England Clam Chowder and anything that starts or ends w/ New England.
Eff Car Repair people
Dude, I didnt come here to fix any the crap you just listed. I came here to be overcharged for the issue I told you when I dropped it off. I could give a good God damn what you found once you started pokin around. Cut the receipt and gimme my muthaf*ckin car keys, STAT!
Eff “The Field”
GO TIGER!
Eff The IRS
GTFO my pockets! (Yea, yea, the check is in the mail. Bitch.)
Eff Incompetent/Annoying Co-workers
Yes, I went to better school than you. No, it wasn’t affirmative action. Yes, those are both mine. No, I won’t cover for you. No, I don’t care that you got laid last night. I also don’t care that you are going thru a divorce. No, I don’t want to see that f*ckin youtube video. No, I don’t want to go to lunch with you. For eleventy billionth time, enter the number, put the paper in face up and hit send…it’s a fax machine, not the f*ckin space shuttle. No, I don’t want to answer the phones today. Yes, I’m black but I’m not your source for all things black. Nor do I sympathize w/ the plight of the “ghetto”…shoulda went to college f*ckface. No, I don’t want to go to happy hour with you. Nope, sure as hell don’t wanna hang out after work. Yes, mines it way bigger than yours…it’s ok though. Yes, I saw the Hangover, but please, don’t quote every line back to me. Hell no, you can’t say that to me…are you high? No, I’m not Jamaican. No…she’s definitely not cute. No, I don’t know the black guy from the 3rd floor…what makes you even think I like black people? And if you send 300 pages to the printer and I have to wait to print 2 pages and an envelope one more muthaf*ckin time, I swear ‘fo GOD Angry Black Man will show up. Word to me.
Eff my neighbors
This is clearly not your driveway so why do you insist on parking in it. And for the love of God, can you keep your fatherless children out of my yard? No, you can’t borrow anything of mines. No, I won’t turn my music down, nor will I blaze inside. I own everything the sun touches around these parts, and if you keep pissing me off, I’ll buy your house and kick you out. You know what, yea, I could ask her to keep it down, but eff you. AND KEEP YOUR F*CKIN TRASH ON YOUR SIDE!
Eff Laker/Kobe haters
Eat some breakfast before you put their c*ck in ya mouth.
Eff Rush Limbaugh
Dude, it was a freakin fly. Find your oxycodon and STFU!
Eff Randy Orton
Trip is going to break your neck dude.
Eff bad drivers
Seriously…do you have anywhere to go, or did you wake up this morning and decide to make someone late for work?
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LilBrownSkin Reply:
June 19th, 2009 at 11:11 am
LMFAO!! I hate New England too. Its the pits.
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ashbunnie Reply:
June 19th, 2009 at 11:12 am
tell em why you mad son
tell em why you mad
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
June 19th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
LMAO!! I’m glad we’re cousins.
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EFF this recession
You just caused me to get a promotion without getting a raise.
EFF this computer gods who only allow me to comment on this illustrious blog every other day
EFF everyone on who goes on vacations
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1. I didn’t even realize today was Friday until reading this blog. This week has felt like one loooong day.
2. I need more naps now!!! I’m frustrated that my hair is not locing yet. I have some “buds”, but I was under the impression that my hair was much nappier than this. According to my loctician, I have kinky hair with a loose coil (whatever that means), so it may take about another year. Uggh!! I can still style it since I started with longer hair, but still, this is annoying.
3. This weather does suck, but even if it were nice, I wouldn’t get to enjoy it, so whatever.
4. I’m getting really annoyed with people leaving me voicemails just to say “what’s up?” I speak to you everyday, do I really need a v-mail from you if I miss your call? I’m not saying never leave me a v-mail, but if I have 15 v-mails saying “Hey Remi. What’s up? Call me when you get this?” I get really annoyed. I don’t check my v-mail everyday, and I will speak to you later anyway, so what is the point?
5. One of the investigators from my job called me about the supposed “inconsistencies” in my application. I thought it was so ridiculous that I went in on her and broke down why their background check system is highly flawed and as a result they will always obtain incorrect and false information. When I got done with her, she had no choice but to agree and told me there was no problem. I don’t have time for foolishness.
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“Eff ‘Em Friday” <– Great Idea! Can we keep this, please?! Thanks.
Eff
sandfly bites.Eff my car now deciding to be on “E” now that the gas prices have doubled since the last time I filled it up.
Eff this rain, though there’s always sunshine in my life.
Eff weekends only being two days.
Eff people from college and high school posting pics of their weddings. I don’t wanna see that mess. Post pics of vacations with your boo, not nuptials. WTF are you doing? You’re my age! You’re scaring the masses. This is not an accurate reflection of how life should be. ::cringe::
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Hell YEAH Slim, those Effing sandwhiches s-cked a big fat one! Can I get some sandwhich with my slop….for the love of GOD! As for the bugs, wash your sheets and your beach clothes….OR THEY WILL INFEST YOUR HOME!!! And yeah Eff them Whities that get nervous around you, they should know by now that you are chill! At the same time little do they know that you lost your card!
I’ll keep it between me and you.
Here’s my Eff’s:
Eff job opportunities in NYC that pay $20 and less for a professional. Effing client needs to strap one on and pay motha Effers!
Eff the rain during weekends!
Eff the thought of knowing there are no beers in the fridge when I get home….looks like I’ll have to go right to doing shots of JagerMeister!!! Have a good weekend!! Happy Dad day to all the Paps out there!
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I almost forgot one, eff old a** dudes who are still tryin to holla. You’re at least twice my age, still hangin on the corner lookin broke and crusty. It needs to stop!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
June 19th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
I don’t think you forgot this one. I think it just happened to you and you wanted to add it.lol.
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Remi Reply:
June 19th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
LOL!
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Eff Chicks who got pregnant and then got played by their Ex and then hold you (the next man) up to a standard that had she had the balls to do so to her baby’s father she’d probably not be stuck with the kid and no support from his college educated a$$
Eff black men that ONLY went to college cause they heard degree such n such payed well-fools got out no real skills and got relegated in their respective industry to gofer status-Ladies these are the buffoons throwing around “I am like Obama” just cuz they went to college or even an Ivy Uni-problem is dog you have NO PASSION for what you studied-when times get ruff they bail out or start talkin that switch my game up crap or they are the FIRST to get laid off if this is your current love interest-you got had!!!
these cats and the women in my first rant can eat a bowl of glass and wash it down with alcohol!!!
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Eff phone calls and texts messages and gchat and AIM and twitter and twitpic and youtube and facebook and iPhoto and Majic Jack and my iPhone being my only means of communicating my life to the US of A.
Eff power outages and no A/C in 100+ degree weather.
Eff stepping in cow shit every 10 paces and then dragging it another 100 yards until you have to take your shoes off outside your apartment building & leave them down there so you don’t trail it upstairs.
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Oh yeah, I’ve got one more! Because 4 is a good number…
4.) Eff people that think I have drugs on me just because I’m Black. Stroll into a bar in NY last wknd and some Asian chick runs up to be asking me if I have some coke. WTF?! No I don’t. Go ask that guy over there that looks like a DT.
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Ambassador of All Things Arrogant Reply:
June 19th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
I think she was just tryna make convo.
Or maybe you misunderstood the kinda blow she was referring to.
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