Eff ‘Em Fridays
Twas a great week at 3 Ways. That doesn’t mean we can’t complain about the things that pissed us off. But before we get into it, this is another reminder to vote for us in the finals of the Black Weblog Awards as Best Group Blog, Best New Blog, and Best Writing in a Blog. Voting ends this week, so please support us if you haven’t already. Now…let’s get into it:
Slim Jackson
Eff my crabby and b*tchy ass co-worker for goin’ to the boss and sayin’ she is uncomfortable with “pause” bein’ used by people on the team. My boss called all the men in the group into a meeting and said we are no longer to say pause because it makes some people uncomfortable. This is the same woman who does nothing but spew negativity in the office on a regular basis. I should have my goons break into her apartment and spraypaint pause everywhere. I’ll also have them take the love of her life, her cat, and sell it to Chef Wang to be converted into General Tso Chicken. B*tch. No misogyny.
Eff the chick I saw yesterday with a pancake butt that allowed her pants to sag like a dude’s even though she had a belt on. I didn’t need to see those purple people eater panties lookin’ all baggy and sh*t. What the eff does she think this is? I hope she catches an awful case of diarrhea. Like I say on Twitter, I am buyin’ the rights to www.flatbutts.com/baggydraws. This site will be the #failblog for all #flatbutt atrocities. Groooooarrrr!
Eff my Blackberry Tour for havin’ a faulty track wheel on 2 separate devices. I’m still not supportin’ the iPhone and I will delete comments today from bursty iPhone users…unless you preface it with ”Slim is the Maxwell of Black Male Bloggers (minus the rumored parfaitness).” Oh yeah, and eff Maxwell for makin my boo moist when I’m not around. That’s a backhanded compliment. Bastard.
Miss Jenkins
Eff the good fight. Eff trying to take the high road and not thronx. I wish I could just throw those values to the wind. Maybe I should. Nah, eff that.
Eff the fact that summer is ending and school starts in 2 weeks. I had one of the best summers ever. And now it has to end so I can take classes and ish. I am not amused.
And eff Eff ‘Em Fridays and the pressure I feel to come up with three things to eff (pause).
Seatttle Washington
Eff Six Flags. I know you’re going bankrupt, but eff you homie! You ruined the trip my peoples & I had planned to take. I was amped to play hookie from work, eat some funnel cake and ride all the roller coasters without waiting in line . You know how long it’s been since I’ve been to a Six Flags? Well, that in fact may be the reason you’re filing Chapter 11…
Eff my conscience. What happened to the glory days when I could do things without remorse? Now I second guess my every activity to make sure I don’t do anything that may mess me up later. Get off my shoulder angel, the devil and I want to participate in the debauchery!
Eff not having much to eff this week. My optimism is getting the best of me. My LB just got an amazing job in the middle of a recession (congratulations Ace!), my boys are doing well all in all, we’re all still keeping in contact like we’re still living down the block from each other and everyone is progressing nicely. It’s been a good week for all the “Titans of Industry”. But eff all those cocky assholes off principle. Yeah you too.
That’s all we have. What pissed you off this week? Who do you want to put up on that big screen like it was Summer Jam? Tell us why you mad homie!
Effing you no matter what you have to say,
The Three Ways Crew
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Eff 3 ways for making this the most unproductive week ever and my job for being boring as ish sometimes.
Eff that I’m drunk and have to be at work at 0700 hours.
Eff the army for making me say ish like 0700 hours and roger and outstanding.
Eff 3 ways again for not being able to re: on mobile site cuz it made me look like a punk wed.
Eff women. Esp post menopausal ones at my job.
Eff seattle for having a good week. My week was some ish. There’s plenty I want to eff (as we know).
Eff my libido for being so horny all the time when I’m trying to abstain.
Eff married men who try to holler at me with that wonder woman bracelet. What the eff do I look like.
Eff my hands are tired. I have a lot more to eff but I’m developing carpel tunnel.
Eff long island ice teas!
Eff all yall!! Goodnight!
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Eff my boss.. I want to kick him in his scrawny old man nuts while wearing 5 1/2″ stripper stilettos.
Eff weirdo men who do not know how to act around women they may find attractive (STARING and GRUNTING IS NOT THE WAY TO GO)
Eff having to walk four blocks to work increasing my chance to see said weirdos.
Eff people who say, “why you look so mean?” BECAUSE I WANT TO DAYUMIT.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 8:39 am
“Eff people who say, “why you look so mean?” BECAUSE I WANT TO DAYUMIT.”
Yeah word.
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Eff all these fools who are hating on Obama for trying to fix the health care plan (pause). It wasn’t working before, why not try something else?
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Because people love to complain about Obama. I saw in my garage that someone had put on their car “Obama/ Hitler: Wake up america.”
Lucky for them, I don’t carry eggs in my car.
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Tatica Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 9:05 am
I walked by this chick holding one of those pictures of Obama with the Hitler ‘stache…she is so lucky I had to get to my eyebrow apppointment. I really felt like smacking her ignorant bahstad ass.
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eff the tsunami going on outside that caused the bottom of my pants to be moist.
eff being the last weekend within this program i’m at aka “rehab”…half way house here i come!
eff Joey for coming to MY CITY forcing me to have to avoid my city at all cost so I can get some damn studying done
eff the business aspect of medical school….$1600 to take ONE part of my licensing exam
eff not being able to enjoy the last moments of summer and my rapidly fading tan!
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I got one more:
Eff the fact that tomorrow would have been Michael Jackson’s 51st birthday and he’s not here to celebrate. RIP
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MaPockets Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
OMG….I going to start crying again.
EFF THAT!! EFF PROPOFOL OR DIPRIVAN OR WHATEVER IT’S CALLED. EFF THEM!!!
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To gem:
:::In eddie murphy fake african accent:::
EFF YOUUU TOOOOOOO!!!!!
Not my fault you allow me to distract you with my random shenenigans. Get back to studying so you can become a doctor and pay for all my bastards’ medical bills when this obama health plan gets vetoed by the Bible huggers.
Eff gun-totin’, cowboy hat wearin’, Jesus lovin’, country singin’, Everything’s bigger in Texas t-shirt wearin’ Bible huggers!!!!
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 9:06 am
Are the Bibles bigger in Texas?
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Eff that crazy a$$ sex offender dude that kidnapped an 11 year old girl back in ’91, had two kids by her, and held all of them captive in his backyard shed for the past 18 years. WDDDA?!
Eff wakin’ up and still feeling tired.
Eff my barber for messing up my line and having to push it back too far cuz he effed up…then having the NERVE to act like he ain’t see it. wtf?! Did you think I wouldn’t notice?! Ahhhh!
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 9:14 am
And eff his parole officer who decided to just check the main house and figured the compound he had in the backyard was just an old club house. Thanks justice system.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:21 am
ladies with Ceasars is nothing new to me. I use to hate on short hair, now I forward to grabbing the back of your head without you smacking my hand away.
But hearing you talking about your line like a dude… that is new. It gives me a warm feeling inside that you know what I go through trying to stay with the Joe Johnson hair line. I was just with my Dominicans yesterday thinking about how ladies don’t appreciate this $15 dollars I spend.
I feel your pain Nyela. Yeah Nyela, I Effing feel ya.
**brotherhood fist in the air**
**stare of support headnod**
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Oh I definitely appreciate a nice haircut
and gawk at the bad ones. Dudes think, just cuz I’m a chick, that I ain’t gon know the difference, or that if I do notice, I won’t say anything. Pssshhh!! My hair is my glory (no matter how short it is), so I feel like I’m even more particular.No, I don’t want a 2, I want a one and half. No, I don’t want it even in the back, I want it tapered—rounded, not squared. And you best believe when you hand me that mirror, I’ma take a good five minutes to analyze every part of my head…and I’ma make you correct something if I see it. You gon earn every bit of your $15 + 20%. ::woosah::
But yea, Cheekz, ::fist in air::
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MaPockets Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Cheekie Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:45 am
“Eff that crazy a$$ sex offender dude that kidnapped an 11 year old girl back in ‘91, had two kids by her, and held all of them captive in his backyard shed for the past 18 years. WDDDA?!”
Girl, tell me about it! That whole ordeal gave me the shudders. Sick azz pedophile. UGH.
I can’t imagine how effed up she is now and even more so…how effed up her kids are. The report says they NEVER went to the doctor and they are 11 and 15. W…T…F.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
girl, aaaand they didn’t go to school! The momma neither!
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Cheekie Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Effed. thehell. UP. Effed up! SMH…
What kills me is how evilly clever he was. Even if you visited his place, I mean walked all up and through his crib, you couldn’t tell what he had set up in the backyard. OMG…
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Eff this rain, It’s fucking up my Friday flow.
Eff Lucky Strike in Times Sq.: covertly racist dress code to discriminate against black folk. Dumb ass server who decided it was ok to put the entire tab on MY card and proceeds to tell me to get the money from everyone else. No bitch, how bout you ask me first.
Eff people who fuck their way to the top. Those condoms sure are slippery on the way down. No pause.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:31 am
“Eff people who fuck their way to the top. Those condoms sure are slippery on the way down. No pause.”
I’m sorry this sounds like a great story…. did you get robbed for a position b/c someone else ‘went the extra 7 inches’?
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Miss Sia Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:49 am
not that I wanted the position, but just knowing she got it on the strength of being unprofessional is enough to grind my gears. The fact that we have the exact same name is also a problem, as people thought it was I doing the whoring.
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:03 am
If you can’t beat them join them.
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Eff the 5 day work week, I’m not built for this kind of imbalance.
Eff the increased instances of lust since I started working out. I’m thisclose to manhandling a stranger.
Eff co-workers who think we are bff. I’m trying not to be rude but you are only tolerable in small increments, and I don’t know you after 5. Go away now…
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 9:31 am
The lust should go away when you work out because you’re expending some of that loin energy.lol. But should you decide to man handle, I know a few stand up guys that would prolly love to find their way into your life.lol.
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Tatica Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 9:39 am
I think it’s part of the losing weight/having more energy/feeling sexier trifecta…
But we might have to talk Slimmy J, lol
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EFF yo couch
EFF 3ways for not giving me a better award a few weeks back
EFF the gym. I seem to be plateuing
EFF running. I hate that sh!t
EFF my former e-boo cuz i’m e-bitter lol
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Get a trx band. Trust me.
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Still Water Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:24 am
“EFF the gym. I seem to be plateuing”
I haven’t been to the gym in 2 weeks (Eff it).
Kudos for still going!
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Cheekie Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:40 am
“EFF my former e-boo cuz i’m e-bitter lol”
Aw, idolceamore is gonna have Peyso releasing videos a la Diddy, entitled, “I need an e-girl”.
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Ms. Cherry Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I need a girl to type type type, I need girl to read what I write…
Sorry, couldn’t resist. lol!
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Cheekie Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
lol, I love you for that.
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Eff Anna Nimous (not in a contentious way. More in a revenge rough s/ ex kind of way)
Eff this hurricane. Why is it bad weather only comes on the wknd?
Eff Fox Sports. I think Mr Murdock just has something against liberal New York. How the hell are you going to show us the TB vs MIA game? You know everyone in the country wants to see Mike Vick play! Even though the TB game had a weather delay!
Eff my ‘extra’ electric razor for dying on me today. Its knows I have plans to put someone in a wheelchair tonight.. I’m trying to shoot this movie with Cheekie later and I tried to give myself an edge up and it died. Now my piece looks like a flag pole sticking out of a half trimmed bush.
Eff these dissappointing paydays. All you grad students aren’t missing much. Stay where you are, corporate America aint trying to give us ishh.
Eff all that bitterness that was going on earlier this week with the comments. We need to be sticking together people.
Eff anyone who is not down for hearing Mike Jack this wknd.. cause it will be playing all wknd long and you will be salty. RIP the King.
In other Effin news……
Slim you know how I feel about flat butts. We should simply give them all a hysterectomy and populate the earth with clones of Delishious and Bria Myles.
Miss Jenkins… just give in. You are only hurting yourself. I thought you would have been pounded out on that DR trip a couple of wks ago. Do you have any idea how mean you have been to people since the start of this drought?
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insomN.I.A. Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Eff these dissappointing paydays. All you grad students aren’t missing much. Stay where you are, corporate America aint trying to give us ishh.
I am right there with you. That is why I am strongly considering going back to school. Plus, I am looking to take my career in a different direction, but it’s really about the money, or lack thereof.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:54 am
yo homey. I wake up and I feel so damn average in this place. I’m stuck in a cube and freaking cube. While these old evil 2520 bankers eat off of my hard work. Eff dem! I know they aint better them me.
No matter what… every weekday 8:30 till 4:45 I feel like I’m doing something that is beneath me. Its like being raped on the inside yet having to smile through and fake it. Its killing me.
School here I come.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:28 am
I feel yall, but being a student blows. I’ll probably regret this after I graduate, but I can’t wait to get out of school. This semester to semester lifestyle is played.
Then again, the grass is always greener…
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Eff Lucky Strike Lanes in Manhattan, who is selective based on race and dress code. Tee shirt and shorts for a two five two-O? Cool. A LIU jacket for the melanin affulent? EFF U! Smh…
Eff NYC “Summer” Weather. Thanks to you, we all feel like summers been one big shamockery! Glad I travelled or I wouldve went bonkers! We are now officially Seattle East (#noshots and No Blue Phi nigra)
Eff my right eye for constant chalazians forming. I’d rather not look like a Ork this weekend. I need a resolution (No Aaliyah R.I.P)
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Eff insomnia…not me, but the actual disorder. I have a bad case of it. Can’t fall sleep before 1am most nights, spend my entire day yawning, and in need of a nap. If you know of any good sleep aids, please let me know.
Eff Fox for denying me the chance to see Mike Vick last night. Who in the hell wants to see Miami/Tampa Bay when Vick is making his debut. Not I, says the cat.
Eff the air conditioner on my floor and in my office. It is sooo cold, I’m darn near inappropriate w/o a cardigan or something covering me.
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:01 am
“If you know of any good sleep aids, please let me know.”
Kush is a good one. If that doesn’t work try some piff. Depending on your tolerance, dro could be hit or miss.
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glenyse Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:28 am
On the sleep issue, getting some good lovin always works for me.
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insomN.I.A. Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:34 am
yeah, good lovin’ would be great. except, i’m single and i’m not doing any extracurricular lovin’. I almost slipped last week, but realized ol’ boy is an ass, so i kept it moving.
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Eff old greeks still acting like superneos. I know you’re proud to be a Sigma but really dude the hat, shirt, bag and laynard should not be all worn together and please take off the that tight ass line jacket before you rip the sleeves.
Eff parents giving cute nickname to ugly babies. I didn’t want you to unfurl the blanket on the monster in the first place but since you did, i think Lil Lurch is a much better nickname for him…I mean her.
Eff people with body odor that always step in the air duct. I know you maybe used to your odor of pig nuts and rubber but I would greatly appreciate if you didn’t share it with the entire building.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
“i think Lil Lurch is a much better nickname for him…I mean her.”
This made me guffaw mad loud in my office. Eyes turned…
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Eff Nicknames, i understand my name is a little different but its not really that hard
Eff data entry, i didn’t go to school to catalog ish
Eff snoring, my biggest c*ckblock
Eff customer service
Eff people at work who think i’m trying to take their job and refuse to teach me what they know
eff my laziness, this is my first post even though i’ve been reading for like 3 months now
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Tunde Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:22 am
“Eff Nicknames, i understand my name is a little different but its not really that hard”
man what you said. my name is tunde. pronounced tune-day. i don’t think its that hard. don’t ask me can you call me tony. f*ck you. if your name is John, i don’t ask you can i call you olajide. i call you by your name. o_0
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olivya23 Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
LMAO! Preach! I’ve been dealing with this my ENTIRE life!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Eff the fact that you waited 3 months. But yeah, welcome to the effin active community.
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man eff mother nature. its perfect weather all week (mid 80′s and sunny). i wake up friday morning and its a torrential downpour.
eff me being lazy this week. i got next to nothing accomplished in lab.
eff writer’s block. i really don’t have anything i feel like writing about. oh well. i guess i should read a book.
eff rude people. especially middle age white rude people. if i see you being nice to someone else (ie-holding the door for them) and not me (ie-letting it slam in my face), i’d be hard pressed to think that you’re not racist.
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Eff the fact that I really woke up this morning thinking that it was Saturday… I was so happy until I realized it wasn’t…
Eff my being at work right now.
Eff being sleepy ALL.THE.TIME.
Eff lotion. Was too lazy to put it on this morning and now I itch.
Eff my laziness. Anybody got some Motivation/Mojo/Superjuice… ANYTHING?
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Henny and Nuvo. SUUUUPERJUICE!
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miss jenkins, speaking of eff summer ending and school starting, ill be in town 2nite moving my boy into his new apt. he’s starting law school. holler at ya boy if your around.
on an unrelated note, eff shady club promoters who promise the team anything to get em to perform at the club then we show up to a seedy venue, nervous shitty mic(s) and zero bottles.
and eff scary time.
“who the ‘eff’ is this?!” music video coming soon…
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:18 am
What’s good with that That’s That?!
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:45 am
This is Nyela’s second Co-sign of the day from me….
That’s That went hard body… been telling these fools.
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Eff “Tropical Storm Danny” you single handedly killed murdered all my weekend events and subsequently eff’d up my cash flow.
Eff my HR director for screwing up payroll. Thanks for nothing!
Eff Overstock.com and their lame ass “Next Day Delivery” that takes 3 days to arrive.
Eff Fat people who smoke cigarettes. That sh*t is disgusting.
Eff American Express for lowering my credit limit. No late payments ever and you reward me with this B.S.!?!?!
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and another one…
Eff 2 weeks of a year vacation. That’s it? Seriously? It’s the reason I’m not bragging about heading to DR to celebrate my childhood bff’s 30th right now…I’m so sad
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Eff my PC for freezing while writing my original non-reply to everyone else’s eff.
Eff allergies or whatever the hell is going on w/ me that has me eyes bloodshot red. If I’m gonna look high as a kite, I’d like to have actually gone thru the motions to achieve my red status.
Eff the Republicans on Fox for trying polticize Teddy K’s death by claiming the Democrats are politicizing his death so they can pass health care. Do you stupid f*cks realize we can pass this bill without you? The man wasn’t perfect, but for Christ sake, he was a freakin politician. He’s supposed to do drugs and bang strange women. Let him rest in peace damn it. Long live Camelot!
Yup, eff Fox for showing the Miami/Tampa game. People in Miami and Tampa didnt even want to see that game.
Eff the weather in Tampa for causing that sh*tshow of a game to last longer than it needed to.
Eff Fox again for interviewing everyone under the sun in the locker rooms as opposed to switchin to the damn Eagles game.
Co-sign Tatica eff of co-workers who wanna go get matching tattoos and tell you to keep a weekend next March open for a f*ckin’ concert for a band THEY want to see but assume that YOU want to see. Dude, it’s August. Chill.
Eff cheap people. You can’t live like a dollar spending 15 cents. So one of two things needs to happen. Either you stay in your 15 cent lane, or come up off that dollar. Yea I got .85 cents, but not for you nucca!
Eff lazy scientists and inventors. It’s 2009, where the eff is my flying car already?
Eff the real housewives of atl. Can someone explain to me how they are “housewives”? I aint seen a stitch of food cooked, a pants leg hemmed or a child reared yet! I have seen a manly woman try to pull of this white girl’s wig and then defend her own full head of horse hair by sayin “This ain’t no wig, baby this is weave?” These hos should just be on Maury.
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Ms. Cherry Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
co-sign… Eff Fox News,
On Weds. they literally said that Ted Kennedy didn’t really do that much and that ppl are just saying so because he died… how you gonna talk shit and the man isn’t even in the ground yet?
And don’t get me started about Glen Beck… I’m just glad his ass moved over to faux news and is off my CNN. His bullshit makes my skin itch.
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Eff everything.
Eff the fact that I don’t feel like posting on my blog
Eff the fact that I woke up to my neighbor’s crackhead kujo dogs.
Eff the fact that I haven’t had gas all week.
Eff the fact that I didn’t know it.
Eff the fact that it’s getting fixed but at the expense of me sleeping in.
Eff my need for some danglang cuz the last one didn’t cut it.
Eff me for turning into the bitter woman I try to avoid. But, I’ve been focusing on positive thinking for 2 days…maybe my luck will change.
Eff my supervisor. Damn she’s ugly. And fake.
Eff Miami…and the guy I like who refuses to move to NYC so I can experience amazing things every night.
Eff money I need it and it’s makin me crazy.
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Eff waiters who hate their jobs & take it out on the ppl who AIN’T GOTTA TIP YO ASS
Eff having a final exam 2nd week of classes. & Eff the professors who LIED about the material it covered
Eff emos. I ignore emo texts
Eff makin this list…it’s the weekend!!!
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Rox Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:02 am
Awww yay! I had Post #23 baby, heh heh. Speaking of #23, Eff the fact that MJ isn’t in the league nemore… watching him = some of the best moments of my life!
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:11 am
“Eff emos. I ignore emo texts”
Me too.
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I’d like to eff the fact that at last count there are apparently 4 horny/sensational wang deprived women on this blog. Someone somewhere isn’t doing their job, which is making the rest of us men look bad and is adding the to case load of the League of Extraordinary (Single) Cocksmen.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:34 am
u noticed too…
i feel its a sign.
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LoudPen Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Eff RightCoastLexSteele/Rubber Band Man and Cheekz for putting me on blast. Yea, he ain’t do his job. Eff him.
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“No matter what… every weekday 8:30 till 4:45 I feel like I’m doing something that is beneath me. Its like being raped on the inside yet having to smile through and fake it. Its killing me.”-eff the fact that I read this and co-signed 1000 trillion times.
Eff the 6 pounds that I can’t seem to lose.
Eff hormones for making me an angry biatch.
Eff the migraine that is devouring my brain.
Eff the fvcking government for RAPING my paycheck. Gross vs. Net makes me physically ill.
Eff me for thinking I could function off 2 hours of sleep.
Eff it.
I’m done.
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:50 am
As a govt worker I’d like to thank you for paying your taxes as I sit and waste your money.
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callmeSheila Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
well then eff you personally [damn that sounds harsh]for stealing a third of my paycheck.
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
I get nowhere near a third of it, but I understand your frustation and won’t take it personal.
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I know this aint twitter but a recurring theme in today’s eff is effin. We need either Jesus or a cold shower.
Joey, Jenkins, Loudpen, InsomNIA, Tatica, and Justmythought, and myself have all stated a crave for a warm body, some henny, and prophylactics. I’m going to blame all this e-tension on built up real life tension.
Woo Sah people. Woo Sah.
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LoudPen Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
That’s what I’ve been trying to do. But, even that reminds me of effin cuz Martin took a E-Pill that got him to get it up for the first time in a while. I’m so nasty. Eff me. No really, eff me.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
adding Ms Cherry to the list of antsy panties club.
I wish I knew which clubs yall were heading to this weekend. I would give a heads up to the lions that there was a wounded deer in the vicinity.
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Eff feeling disenfranchised b/c miss jenkins ignored me
Eff me not controlling my urge to send emo txts, I wished they could be returned and my feelings reciprocated
“That’s that” is coming soon as well, word up
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eff you for saying “it is what it is” when it comes to us.
eff it, our friends will probably hang out with me more when it’s all said and done, and you know what, serves you right!!
eff sleeping at random times and creating horrible sleeping patterns.
eff it, i’m fucking over it and i’m going to be happy here on out!
p.s. eff the bitch in accounting trying to get up on marketing’s shit, stay in your place bitch, you will never ever be able to do what i do!
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EFF THE FACT THAT I FORGOT MY WATER AT HOME TODAY!! I’m parched :-/
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Eff writer’s block. I’ve had it for thee longest but yesterday I shot out pages and pages for my screenplay and I’m back in the game full-force. Writer’s block? Eff you! Diddy take that, take that!
Eff the women’s bathroom at my job. I walked in there and I got an unfortunate whiff of fried dookie warmed-over. *gag* I hurried myself right outta there before someone came and thought that was me.
Eff the lady I saw yesterday in the women’s bathroom who did the do and then proceeded to put her hands under the sink water for TWO SECODS , dried her hands in one second and left. I know whose hands not to shake now!
Eff the fact that in Chi-town, I’m rockin’ a dayum raincoat. It is in the 60s today. In August! How we supposed to teach the chirruns in school about the four seasons when we only have TWO? Hot as hell and cold as hell.
Eff the paycheck I never got to see because it went straight to bills. I’m thankful however, that I have it at all. Yeah, had to throw that disclaimer in there because ya know…I’m thankful, sh*t.
Eff the environment folks for trying to seduce me into talking with them, asking me if I have 30 secs when they know they’ll be talking for like 456 hours with their verbal-novels.
Happy Friday!
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insomN.I.A. Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Eff the lady I saw yesterday in the women’s bathroom who did the do and then proceeded to put her hands under the sink water for TWO SECODS , dried her hands in one second and left. I know whose hands not to shake now!
i can beat that….
Eff the lady in the bathroom who, instead of washing her hands, used hand sanitizer. Hand effing sanitizer!!!
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Cheekie Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
EW. LMFAO @ thinking hand sanitizer would do the trick.
What makes that lady I saw even worse is that she walked in and smelled something and was like, “OH my GOD!” and made stinky-poo faces and whatnot, but then had the nerve to be just as nasty (if not more) and do that half-arse handwash job. I mean, maybe she was trying to rush outta there…but still. Yuck.
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
At least you know the dookie on her hands is germ free.
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Cheekie Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
RCLS, you forever need to be placed in the corner. lol
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Eff several federal agencies with their stupid effing rules and addendums that have been effing up my last two work weeks.
Eff meetings that lead to conference calls that lead to another meeting and then another only to leave me with an hour at the end of the day to complete the assignment from the first meeting. Grrr!
Eff Mother Nature for forecasting a rainy weekend when I really wanted to go biking.
Eff Ted Kennedy dying but Cheney still breathing.
Eff these new pounds that are making themselves at home around my thighs & arse.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:47 am
“Eff Ted Kennedy dying but Cheney still breathing.”
Is it bad that I completely co-sign this?
“Eff these new pounds that are making themselves at home around my thighs & arse.”
Those 2 things may make more dudes wanna eff you.lol.
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Reina Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:59 am
“Those 2 things may make more dudes wanna eff you. LOL”
The question is if they’ll replace the clothes I can no longer wear?
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
you don’t need clothes to eff
as long as you can fit on this s.ex swing
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Eff lingering storm clouds
Eff Dave Chappelle for leaving us all hanging, yes I am still on that
Eff wordpress.org, and my online godfather for leaving me to figure out how to work the new site (upcoming plug alert)
Eff women who complain about being fat when they are not and saying eff you to me cause I’m Slim…no EFF YOU, STFU NO ONE CARES.. TRY THIS NEW CONCEPT CALLED “TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF”
Eff Men who complain that there are no good women around effffffff you, if you took a moment to put your d*ck on idle you’d see that there are many good women around..VICE EFFIN VERSA
Eff me for having to think hard about my rant this week…things are actually looking up..I see nothing but hearts and dollar signs in my future -eff w that and I’ll eff u up
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l Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
“… if you took a moment to put your d*ck on idle you’d see that there are many good women around..”
LOL best line EVER
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Eff the person who let a horse fly in my house and Eff said fly for not staying still long enough for me to kill it.
Eff this rain for ruining the beach party and the pool party/BBQ I was going to tomorrow
Eff weird thin african men who keep trying to make me their umfufu in the club. Yes, I saw you looking and I avoided eye contact for a reason. I like african men but not you Patrice (he would be the dude at the end of the clip), no I don’t want your business card, no you can’t be my friend, please stop talking to me!!!
Eff men who just stare. While I’m not abstaining I REFUSE to give the cookie to man who doesn’t even have the balls to approach me. Yes I know you think my tatas were staring at you but rather than just stare back how about you try speaking.
Eff wack dudes in the club… like seriously why do you all stand on the wall like we’re in middle school. Do more than just talk. Also, if you’re not trickin money on drinks then move from in front of the damn bar. I could by my own drink but you’re in the effin’ way.
Eff being horny… there is nothing worse than writing a blog about sex and not getting any. 4 months… no end in sight *sigh*
Eff writers block… see above
Eff cover letters… I HATE this looking for a job ish… ARGH!!!!
Eff people who interview you and then disappear… As a former manager, look, I know you don’t feel like calling everybody back who interviewed, that’s why you do phone interviews first. You pick like 5 ppl to come interview in person so that’s only 4 “no” calls you have to make. If you have a hiring committee you can split them up and everyone can just make one call… sheeesh!
Eff… the higher ed job market… NO I don’t have a degree in higher ed, why? because when I started in the damn field I didn’t need one. Now give me a job and I’ll get one for free at your illustrious university. But honestly I’m not spending $45K to be deemed “qualified” to advise some student groups… r u serious!?!?!
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
“Eff being horny… there is nothing worse than writing a blog about sex and not getting any. 4 months… no end in sight *sigh*”
Good Lawd, it most be a full moon tonight. You girls can’t get a grip on yourselves (so let me do it).
I know what y’all are doing when you get home tonight.
Tsk Tsk Tsk.
Just remember everytime you touch the man in the boat, God kills a kitten.
and everytime you use a vibrator God lets Soulija Boy record a new song. Needless to say I prefer when you do it yourself.
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Tatica Reply:
August 28th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
lol CHeeKZ, i’m deeply amused by how much this situation pains you. Now about those lions…
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eff school for starting this week.
eff whomever scheduled all my classes required for both my majors to start after 3, thus me being on this damn campus till damn near 9.
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Eff Delta for allowing children in First Class, I didn’t just pay an arm and a leg to listen to some punk ass kid cry periodically. Glad the grumpy British man had that little effer moved to the back.
Eff Wednesday for being so far away from right now. I WANT TO GO DO HOODRAT STUFF WITH MY FRIEND!
Eff Longchamp for being cheaper in the UK, I don’t understand why I have to fly across the world to afford the finer things in life.
Oh and eff my eff em’s for being so bougie, next week I go back to the not so glamorous life of a [graduate] student living paycheck to paycheck. FACK.
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Eff Chicago for this horrible weather! Why is it 65 degrees in August? Shame, shame on you Chicago.
Eff coworkers who talk too effing much. All that talking is going to get you in trouble.
Eff the fact that I didn’t get to wear jeans today. I look forward to Fridays for many reasons and this is one of them.
AND eff novel H1N1 influenza (swine flu)! How did school just start this past Monday and they already have confirmed cases on college campuses?? WHAT?! You didnt know you had swine flu before you came to school!?!?!
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Efff my job…i could go on all day about how poor the staffing is, how annoying the patient family members are and how i hate admin. but all of that can be summed up with a big EFF MY JOB!!! oh and I’ve been waiting all week to EFF them. Little do they know I’m looking for another hospital, and that my fellow readers is the biggest Eff THEM OF ALL!
Eff this damn rain in nyc, my bday is tomm (r.i.p. MJ) and i have plans to go out, get just a little twisted and have a good time…im determined so EFF THIS RAIN! eventho i must admit it made it alot cooler outside.
Eff men and their shady ass ways…if your over 27 grow a pair and man up..if you dont wanna date/be in a relationship/call whaeva jus say it. The old saying will always hold true i would rather be hurt by the truth than made content with a lie! GROW THE EFF UP!!!
and most importantly EFF three ways for making me go over in my head all week all the ish i wanna EFF TODAY. see ya next week, and EFF YOU!!!
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eff my scalp for feeling like it needs to be scratched with a rake as soon as I found out I’m getting a relaxer tomorrow
eff JCPenney for not carrying cute bras in my size
eff Chick-Fil-A for spilling my milkshake down the side of the cup and handing that sticky ish to me like nothing was wrong
eff my ex boyfriend for getting an ugly new girlfriend
eff MTV for subjecting me to this hoe with the bad weave on The Real World
eff Comcast for never having anything good on demand
eff Slippery Rock University for canceling BET and TVOne when they decided to “upgrade” the cable
eff 90210 for not casting me as the only black chick to be the girlfriend of the only black guy on the show (Tristan Wilds)
eff TV in general for not giving Tristan Wilds more roles
eff Soulja Boy for lowering my IQ 4 points every time one of his damn songs comes on
eff Dance Your Ass Off for making the dancers wear those half naked outfits. Thats just RUDE!
Eff Degrassi for all these new characters. Should’ve quit while you were ahead
Eff Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami for being my new television guilty pleasure
eff Kim from Real Housewives of ATL for looking like a retired stripper/porn star wannabee
eff the moonbounce at Quipfest for sucking a whole braid out of my head in Kindergarten
eff my sister for farting and walking out of the room without telling anyone
eff Miley Cyrus because…well, she’s Miley Cyrus
eff this moth for sitting on the wall looking at me knowing I dont feel like getting up to kill it
eff PETA for making me afraid to kill the moth for fear that they will be picketing outside my house and blacklist me for life
eff vaseline for being disgusting
eff Sheffield Cafe for not delivering
eff @lilduval for tweeting so often, I had to stop getting them sent to my phone because they we’re disrupting me at work
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Seattle Washington Reply:
August 29th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Wow. I’m really glad you got all that off your chance before there was another shooting in the U.S. I felt the sigh of relief from all the way over here.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 30th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Yeah word.
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1. this sexy as* peurto rican lady keeps playing games. she said she gets off at 9pm, but she doesnt call until 11 or 12…..by then I’m already with another girl.
2. I only got two checks this week and they sucked. i miss the good ol’ days of multiple thousand dollar checks every week. Come on Obama, get this econony together.
3. Gotta say one thing I’m happy about are all the good, entertaining blogs ran by young black folks.
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