Eff ‘Em Fridays
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It’s Friday, you know what that means – Eff ‘Em Fridays! It was a short week for me, shorter for some of us (Eff You Slim!!!), but cramming five days with of crap into four just made the work week even worse. Let’s get it all out of our systems before the weekend starts. I’m sure we all need to relax. Here we go…
Seattle Washington
First, eff useless meetings. Why are we having this meeting? Oh, we’re having this meeting to discuss the things folks need to have done for the next meeting and in that meeting we’ll cover what we were supposed to in this meeting. What’s worse is I probably don’t need to be in any of these meetings. F*** YOU!!!
Eff the fact that it’s supposed to rain and I can’t drink outside during a BBQ. This will be the first year out of the womb, post-Gerber, that I’m not inhaling some typed of grilled substance during July 4th. I can’t even illegally set off some fireworks in a highly wooded area. Not that it matters anyway…
Eff having to work during the weekend. Does no one else see the irony of me having to work on Independence Day? The laughter is the only thing keeping me from banging my head into a wall. F M borderline workaholic L.
Slim Jackson
Eff the sh*tty weather in Boston. Yes, Seattle mentioned it but I just can’t let this sh*t rock without givin’ my 2 cents. Since I came back from vacation, it has rained at least 13 out of 17 days. This makes me an extremely salty panda. I’m bout to rise to my hind legs and claw the sh*t out of somebody!
Eff work folks for drinkin’ too much then talkin’ reckless. Someone from work dropped me off at the crib and then had the audacity to say I lived in a different area from what they expected while we were at a post-work function. When I asked what they expected, they named one of the hoodest parts of Boston. This would have been a perfect time for the person to get bodied. And by bodied, I mean punched in the face and stomped.
Eff centipedes. I’ve seen a couple in the crib over the last few weeks. These are some of the most disgusting insects known to mankind. I really wanna know what purpose they serve in preserving mother earth. I feel like we could live without them and be pefectly fine. F*ckin elongated hairy lookin’ pieces of sh*t.
Miss Jenkins
Eff governmental budget issues. When I get off of the train, I expect to be greeted by that sketchy yet friendly man who says “Good Morning Ladies” and has a folded up Metro ready for my taking. Its not my fault you can’t get your act together so you can afford to pay him his $5 per hour. What’s worse is that there were no papers at all for me to even pick up on my own for 3 days. Eff that! I need that crossword answer.
Eff people who don’t have to work this weekend and get to celebrate an independence won on the backs of my ancestors free and clear of worries about projects due next week. And eff not knowing where I’m going to have some good BBQ on Saturday.
Eff people who use Twitter to update the world as to the false sense of over-importance that is their life. Some things just don’t need to get tweeted. ”I wiped my behind with Charmin Ultra 2-ply today. I’m dope. Take that.” Please, get off your own jock. Thanks.
Okay, so its the Friday before a holiday. We know some supervisor put an extra project on your desk. Some said something crazy to you this week. Speak on it!
Happy Fourth,
The Three Ways Crew
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EFF THAT I’M THE FIRST ONE TO POST! WHY THE HELL ISN’T EVERYONE ELSE UP AND AT WORK RIGHT NOW!
EFF INDEPENDENCE DAY! I’M TOTALLY DEPENDENT (ON ME)…
O, N EFF THE REST OF THE NBA, THE LAKERS GOT RON ARTEST! HAHA
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Eff greyhound & its overbooked bus & its dayum nerve to charge me $5 for printing out my boarding pass that they failed to email me. They’re gettin a phone call & I’m gettin my $$$ back, shiii
Eff the scammers on craigslist who r tryin to get me w/ the gaffle by askin me to send the MacBook I’m selling to Nigeria. “It’s a gift for my colleagues son” my a**********!!!
Eff the fact that I gotta work on the 4th too, Seattle. Workin on the 4th is buns. Considerin the weather tho, I’ll take a paycheck. Let’s all do somethin after.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
July 3rd, 2009 at 8:13 am
If we get enough men and women, we could have a colossal spoon party with popcorn and movies…
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Eff India’s 6 day work week, ignorance of American Independence Day, and overpopulation.
Eff distance.
Eff all of you for being able to get up and go to Taco Bell when you feel like it.
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Eff Nigerians! Yea, I said it.
What? One of my best friends is Nigerian!They’re not only scamming on craigslist, they’re movin up tryna scam actual companies. We had two independent incidences within two weeks! After thinking I was about to book a $60,000 piece of business, I realize dude ain’t really tryna pay. He asked for our routing # and accounting # so he could “wire transfer” the funds. When I told him we preferred direct payment, his boss suddenly “had a motor accident and is now in a suden COMA. I’m sorry plese.” Yea. Tragic. EFF YOU!Eff it having rained for the past three weeks.
Eff little bastard a$$ kids keying my car. It’s like they were playin a game on my ish, loopty loopty looin and what not. They made some deep a$$ marks, too. I am not pleased. Eff you and the parents that need to whoop y’alls a$$! Wooosah.
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Rox Reply:
July 3rd, 2009 at 12:22 pm
“When I told him we preferred direct payment, his boss suddenly “had a motor accident and is now in a suden COMA. I’m sorry plese.” Yea. Tragic.”
Hahahaaa!!!!!!!!! I’m silently rolllllllin right now on greyhound. No words. None. But u feel me right? They may get away w/ that ish, but not on my time. Haha not on urs neither… Classic
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1. Eff The Man for blocking Three Ways.
2. Eff the foolery that is Chi-town weather for saying all week that it’ll be 84 and sunny on Saturday and then up and changing it today saying it will be 77 and rainy.
3. Eff the number 3. (I couldn’t come up with a third one)
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Eff my yahoo mail that works when it pleases. I missed an important e-mail from my job. Although I’m not sure why they didn’t use my primary e-mail acct or just call me. So Eff the fool who decided to e-mail as opposed to calling me about something that needed to be discussed via phone.
Eff the NYC MTA, why should I pay more as your service gets worse than it is already? You need to figure out another way to raise money.
Lastly, Eff the people who are stupid enough to get scammed by Nigerians. Really though, use your common sense. If it’s too good to be true, it probably is. The scammers are usually obvious b/c they always use improper grammar and make up foolish stories. But then again, most people think Africans are stupid and uncivilized, and scammers know this and use this to their advantage.
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1. Eff mother nature and all this rain. Its July and this summer so far has been shit!
2. Eff that most divisions of the company have off today, but my division has to work today. FML
3. Eff this place if we dont get to leave early!
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1)Eff this cheap web browser for deleting my original Effs
2)Eff my Company Volleyball League. I wasn’t here last year, so I don’t care if the team showed major improvements. We lost to a bunch of a unathletic 80/20′s in marketing. Just because everyone who shows up has to play! Plz!
The ‘talent’ is sitting on the side line when Marketing went on a 15-0 run, and of course you can’t rotate in until you score!
3)Eff me for taking it so serious, that I sprained my ankle trying to block a shot. Cursing and throwing my shoe infront of people’s kids like the bad sport I am known to be. Now people in the cafeteria don’t even look my way.
4)Eff Dpizzle. The only reason I joined this league was b/c of this BAD ONE, nicknamed DPizzle, cause she is so bad I would slap nuts just to say I would hit. My man, Joe has been dying to bag, so this 80/20 SIGNED ME UP to play. So I’m here, encouraging team bonding, trying to get to know my teammates. .. thinking I am building up his shot or chances with Pizzle. Who shows up to the first game? Her Boris Cujo looking buff shiny bald headed baby daddy. No homo, but my man has no chance of competing if that is what she is use to… damn. Trey Songz, Tyrese, and Ginuwine have no chance of competing against that dude.
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Eff the fact that I am once again, single!
Eff the fact that I’m stuck in the house today because I failed to make plans ahead of time
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