Emo Cats
Apparently, this is a Good Man.
A few days ago I was chatty-mouthin’ with a lady friend about relationships and communication of feelings. I’m one of those dudes that has a Great Wall like China’s that guards a fingerprint and eyeball scan entry that is placed in front of a chained double door that is in front of a trap door on the floor that leads to a treasure chest with a padlock and live large venemous scorpions in front of it that hold my true thoughts and true feelings. Not even Lara Croft is gettin’ to this ish. Though that may seem like a lot, I still consider myself a simple and regular dude. I know a lot of men like me. Quite honestly, most of the men I know are like me.
Most women, friend or significant other, give up once they scale the Berlin Wall. I don’t blame em and that makes it easier on me. McSnuggles is a tenacious and fierce competitor, so of course she’s gotten through most of the course. She still isn’t a fan of the obstacles. From what I have been told, she knows a gaggle of men out there that only block their true feelings and thoughts with one layer of store brand saran wrap. I told Seattle about these men and we both had a question for McSnuggles:
Who are these Emo Cats?!
From what I was able to gather, these are the men that rock buttons/collared shirts all the time, slacks/khakis, and some loafers or other shoes just because. They’re anywhere from 22-26 years old, decent looking, and have big personalities. They’re open to sharing feelings and deep thoughts off the jump and are determined to find a wife.They have good jobs and are also heavily into old school R&B and attend church regularly. Hallelujah…and stuff.
I am not an Emo Cat. Seattle is not an Emo cat. None of my boys are Emo Cats. I don’t even know an Emo Cat aside from R&B singers themselves. I, like my boys and everybody else I know up here, rock jeans, kicks, and non-collared shirts on the casual. For the purpose this post, polos don’t count. And from what I know, most of us are not happy go lucky about marriage even though we got our lives together, decent personalities, and are decent looking. We do, however, know dudes that appear to be Emo Cats but it’s really just part of their game or they’re really just some lame, soft, Simpleton O’insecure type dudes. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve encountered a chick that appeared to be dealing with an Emo Cat and it was really just a player sellin’ a pipe dream so that he could make his pipe dreams come true.
The second most popular of this batch of pseudo Emo Cats is the man that is secretly insecure and needs a woman to cling to in order to feel validated. These are the same dudes who end up stalking chicks or gettin’ played because they gave shorty way too much power up front. Now to some women, this post may sound immature. As we all know, there’s a limited supply of good men. That means there’s an even smaller supply of “emotionally mature” men out there. This is also where I think a lot of women get it wrong. Just cuz a homie is comfortable sharing his apparent feelings and fits some of the other characteristics, does not make him a good dude and true Emo Cat.
I’ve been trying to find a true Emo Cat just so I can pick their brain. Would I be friends with one? Idk. That aside, I know a good number of women who get turned off by this type of cat. From what I hear on the flip side, it can be a tad bit overwhelming if a dude goes Emo too soon. I’m also curious if this type of man is more popular in another part of the country. I’d suspect the South or maybe West Coast cuz the weather is good. But the Northeast? Hell nah.
So for today, I’d like to be enlightened in a non-sexual way. What is good with these Emo Cats? Are they really out there like that? Does it really just boil down to maturity? Are most Emo Cats really just running game and selling that vitamin D pipe dream? Do the women out there really want an Emo Cat right now? Let’s get into it hot and heavy.
Emotionally…sike,
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All of the men I’ve dealt with were just like you Seattle…. until now. I think he’s more emotionally mature than EMO (Although I don’t think I’ve ever met an EMO cat, I’m a little confused by what exactly it is).
In my situation, it was nice to have a man be vocal about his feelings for me upfront… There was no second guessing. Does that make him EMO?
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Slim Jackson Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 8:46 am
**cough cough Slim wrote this**
A man saying he enjoys the time you spend together and that he wants to be in a relationship because he thinks yall have something special is not really Emo.
A man saying “Baby, I knew we were meant to be since I laid my eyes upon you. My heart was lost, but you found it. Every time I see you it’s a breath of fresh air that rejuvenates my soul” would be Emo.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 9:20 am
“Baby, I knew we were meant to be since I laid my eyes upon you. My heart was lost, but you found it. Every time I see you it’s a breath of fresh air that rejuvenates my soul” would be Emo.”
EWWWW. I am not feeling this guy. He sounds suffocating.
***p.s and sorry Slim, I dunno where I got Seattle from!!!***
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Seattle Washington Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 11:02 am
It’s OK Nicki. You don’t need to apologize. You may be writing to Slim, but we all know who you’re really thinking about…
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Cocky Mutha Snucker. j/k. lol
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LMAO at emo cats! They do tend to be the younger, college age guys. I dated a guy who was kinda emo- he seemed to be very sensitive, always gave me very poetic compliments and such. Then he cheated on me and when I dumped him, would call/IM me all pitiful and such. He even passed a heartfelt note to me when I went to the water fountain during class.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 8:47 am
Passed a note? Like did he pass you a note the way kids used to pass notes in high school at lockers?lol.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 9:22 am
***Dead**** at note passing.
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What’s that saying–”Anything that seems too good to be true, usually is.”
A guy that’s EMO is in that category. He still has flaws. He’s playing a role. Put his back up against the wall and that’s when you’ll find out if he’s sincere or if it’s just a game.
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TRUE Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 10:24 am
I agree 100%
Again, I cannot stress enough that guys like this are PSYCHO..literally PSYCHO
either passive aggressive like my ex hubby
or just plain ole outwardly psycho like someone else I know
Either way..these men are sooo controlling. they use their emotional crap to get you right where they want you then BAM..you controlled, dont have friends, aint going no where etc
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I am not a fan of the EMO man…I went on 2 dates with a guy and he was already talking about marriage and kids…*pause…what?!* He seemed more emotional than me and i honestly couldn’t see him as a man because i felt like he was such a p*ssy…i dont feel there is anything wrong with a man expressing his thoughts and emotions because it is necessary in order to have a healthy relationship…but all this crying and “i love you’s” and “we are destined to be together” bull is annoying.
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Shelia Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 9:28 am
I love a man who is man enough to express himself–but I don’t believe a word from a man who doesn’t know me well enough to be making statements like–I love you. I want us to build a life 2gether, etc.
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BlueFlame Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Exactly! What rang in my head while he was talking was, “RED ALERT! RED ALERT! WE MAY HAVE A POTENTIAL STALKER!”
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Rox Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Touché. My thoughts exactly
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I dated an Emo cat… maybe two and yea I’m in the South. The last one just needed to have a woman in his life, wore his emotions on his sleeve, and was just too suspect for me. So yea, I’m now making the assumption that overly emotional dudes can be somewhat suspect, just my opinion.
Even though us females would like for you to open up a tad bit more about your emotions and how you’re feeling about things, the non disclosure adds to the mystery and, for me, the strength of a man. But as always communication is key and as long as I know and at least see through your actions how you feel I’m good.
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Reecie Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 10:40 am
I know you didn’t mean this but my initial thought reading this was “non disclosure is how folks end up with the cooties”. I don’t need my dude to be that “mysterious”. I do agree with the actions part though–people show you who they are…..
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Uggh, I’ve met a few like this, and they are really difficult to get rid of. There is one who keeps calling and texting me right now. I know he’s just trying to G me. Honestly, I think he is a male gold digger (you’d be surprised how many are out there). He seems a little too focused on what I do and tried to find out how much I will be making and most men don’t really care about that stuff.
He thinks by telling me what he thinks I want to hear that will make me fall for him. Telling me he wants to get married and have kids with me. Please!! I just met this fool. I don’t know what makes him think that I want to get stuck with his a**. There may be a “shortage” of black men, but there are a whole bunch of men of other races who I can date, I am not desperate.
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“From what I was able to gather, these are the men that rock buttons/collared shirts all the time, slacks/khakis, and some loafers or other shoes just because. They’re anywhere from 22-26 years old, decent looking, and have big personalities. They’re open to sharing feelings and deep thoughts off the jump and are determined to find a wife.They have good jobs and are also heavily into old school R&B and attend church regularly. Hallelujah…and stuff”
OMG..you just described my ex husband..accept he is over 30 now
his goal in life was to have a wife and perfect family…Now that I ruined that and he has to start over, he wants me literally permanently out the picture ..
These men are also VERY controlling..trust me…
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These alleged EMO CATS have yet to cross my path…I always have to go through the labyrinth and shyt..maybe who I attract is a reflection of who I am? Complicated!! lolll The post & subject matter is not immature but an example or anecdote would be cool cause I’m here reading and learning about this species of male…I’m in awe! Lol
I know of men who play soft and say the things a woman likes to hear…sends corny poems and that (if you fall for it, which admittedly I have b4 smh) is classified as game. But a genuine EMO CAT…nah never had the pleasure…nor do I want the pleasure….
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I consider myself an emotional guy. Pause. Here’s my side of things:
I hate uncertainty and I hate games. If I’m dealing with a girl and I’m feeling her, I’m going to let her know it. I’ve come to learn it isn’t always going to work the best for me, but my hope is that shorty will be mature enough to deal with it. If not, better to know sooner rather than later. Pretending that feelings don’t exist only causes confusion and drama, especially in a relationship. I know way too many dudes who swear that they don’t show their feelings and that they aren’t sensitive. Then they do stupid shit when their feelings get hurt. They think they’re acting normal and that no one can see that they’re crying on the inside, but pretty much anyone who’s looking can see its a front.
Being emotional doesn’t mean crying all the time. I’m not going to lie though, I’ve written my share of love notes telling girls exactly how I feel and what it is I liked about them. Some girls reacted negatively. Some reacted positively. I don’t regret a single heartfelt letter or “I love you”. Life is too short to ever let your true feelings be in doubt. I would rather regret being open with the truth than never getting a chance to say what I should’ve said.
The last thing I want to say is that girls often ask for a guy to be in touch with their emotions, but I haven’t met too many girls who are emotionally mature either. I’m not talking about catching the sniffles in movies or yelling when you’re hurt. I’m talking about sharing the things that make you vulnerable in a relationship. I’m talking about realizing just how much trust you’ve got to have to be with someone and saying “fuck it, this will hurt if they let me down, but I’m going to communicate anyways”. Yeah, everyone thinks all that communication stuff makes you soft, but it saves so much time and drama.
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TRUE Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 10:28 am
I hope you dont “feel” her like that after 2 dates :/
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Black and Trapped in Toronto Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 10:45 am
I dont think this is what an EMO CAT is….
I think your outlook on relationships is mature and honest…stick to your guns and roll with it….I think an EMO CAT is a borderline dependency freak from the examples presented here..
You just sound like a lover not a fighter…
“I would rather regret being open with the truth than never getting a chance to say what I should’ve said.”
Love this…
love love love….lolllllll
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I dont want yall to get it twisted..cause EMO guys always say “women dont like nice guys, they want guys to treat them like crap or yall want thugs”
NO..we just dont want YOUR PYSCHO AZZ lol
There is a difference between the psycho emo guy vs. the nice guy..
the nice guy doesn’t propose to you after knowing you 2 weeks
Im saying
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Remi Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 11:24 am
“I dont want yall to get it twisted..cause EMO guys always say ‘women dont like nice guys, they want guys to treat them like crap or yall want thugs’”
Seriously, I’ve met a few like this. LOL. They don’t realize that they are not “nice guys”, just b/c you aren’t a thug, doesn’t mean you are a nice guy. You could just be controlling or crazy and women pick that up quickly and run the other way.
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come on..he’s emotional because he’s psycho…super sensitive people tend to be
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A cat I knew in high school was definitely an emo cat selling a pipe dream who was not-so-secretly insecure. Sounds like a problem, huh? Right. He was self-deprecating, among other emo characteristics, and for some foolish reason I thought that that meant he was sensitive in a good way. But once he got play from multiple females he switched it up and became a bitch. Literally. Trying to sabotage my relationships with men and women alike after I dropped him.
Then, one day I finally I asked him why he acted so crazy. This fool had the nerve to tell me, “I dunno. I was going through some things and always had a thing for you and that was my twisted Freudian way of flirting.”
Wtf? What type of emo ish is that?
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I don’t think it’s wholly an issue of maturity. There’s a difference between being emotionally mature and just knowing what you want
; though, in an ideal world, a man would be both. God forbid a man unveil the way he feels to a womanin a non-b*tchass kinda way, he’s assumed as weak, emo, extra, etc. Adversely, from what I gather from knowing a few of these-type men, they can’t fathom a man who won’t/can’t express his feelings to the woman in his life…and perceive that as weak. I guess it goes both ways (pause).Anywhoo, I think a lot of it has to do with their environments. For example, as you mentioned, this breed of men (I refuse to use the term, “Emo Cat”) may have grown up in the church. Here, their view of relationships is exemplified through their leaders. Many of the men whom they admire are married and teaching that “he who finds a wife, finds a good thing…” So rather than being afraid of what the urban mainstream has deemed as doomsday, this man embraces the beauty of having a good woman by his side
foreverearrrrly.(I can’t lie…this can be annoying.lol Delivery and timing is key, and some of these men just don’t gauge it right.)
McSnuggles “Still tryna get past those scorpions” O’Cuddles
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JG* Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 11:14 am
I think this pretty much sums up what I was going to say.
I love the Non-emotional emotional guy. I like the challenge I guess. The guy that has the wall up, but only brings it down for me. I call him my sensitive asshole. To the world, he’s smooth and in control, but with me, I know how he feels. That’s not to say he turns into a complete bitch around me, but he’s truly himself. I don’t mind the guy that will choke someone out, toss me up, and then cry while watching the Notebook. I mean really… It’s the Notebook.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Eh, I don’t know if it’s totally an issue of emotional maturity. The maturity comes in knowing a balance and when to reveal your emotions and when to keep some shit to yourself.
As a dude on the other end of the spectrum, I too have my emotions tucked away in the same place Osama bin Laden has been hiding. I’m still learning how to bring em out of the cave for the woman I care about. However, she must be someone I want to invest in, not just some chick I met.
The biggest issue I had during the initial conversation with Slim was – how can cats just be so emotional in the beginning? It’s one thing to be upfront and so everyone is on the same page and another when cats are baring their soul right away. Just me.
I do agree with you about environment though. This kind of behavior is nurtured. I grew up in a “tuck your feelings away lil man” household. For better or worse. I’m sure the women I’ve been with would say it’s more bad, than good, but it is what it is. Still tipping the scales to find the right balance.
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McSnuggles O'Cuddles Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 11:58 am
I agree with you about the timing. The dude that is talking marriage in week two is of a different breed and was never part of my initial description. But since we’re on it, what is the “beginning” for you? 5 years? lol. I’d say feelings do come out sooner with these type dudes, but the perception of it being early is relative.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Ehh, I hear about dudes baring all and women saying to me – “This guy barely knows me. How can he love me?” Yes time is relative, but not knowing someone enough to have serious emotions about them is not.
As for me? Eh, it depends. I’ve fallen quickly and other times it’s taken longer. As for revealing my feelings, that comes as I become more comfortable with you.
The best analogy I can think of is to ask you if would it be rewarding if you got to be CEO on your first day of work? Would you really appreciate it?
Probably not. Wouldn’t know the weight of it. So you’ll get more over time as you prove yourself worthy. Call it jumping through hoops, but I don’t have a vagina. So this is all I’ve got to guard. And I don’t want to be an emo-whore.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 11:30 am
Co-sign, McSnuggles! (hmm I actually feel uncomfortable calling you that)
Yes, there are those guys who OD on the emotions, way too soon. But that’s different than a man who knows you and just knows what he wants. I, too, know men like this. If it’s too much, too soon, tell him…see how he responds. Of the men I know, they’d back off and, dare I say, will wait (yes, wait) for you to catch up with them emotionally. It’s a scary thought, I know. But these men do exist, and they aren’t overly-sensitive or insecure.
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The Emo thing is game son. its either game or dudes still get breast fed by their mommas. I reveal feelings like Lost reveals plot threads. If a woman isnt willing to stay until season 5, then go watch Heroes.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 11:21 am
I think our views are very much aligned good sir.
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Reign Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Hot damn, but there’s a lot of truth in that lol
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BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
WOW….You nailed….hahahahaha!!
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LMAO at that opening paragraph…and according to ya’lls breakdown in the comments a emo cat would get on my nerves bad but at the same time I don’t want to have to work a logarithm to know how a guy feels about me …..BALANCE is good, don’t be one of the emotional bankrupt types nor a soft a s s wuss…..LOL
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Remi Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
“…but at the same time I don’t want to have to work a logarithm to know how a guy feels about me”
I agree totally b/c once it becomes too much of a puzzle, I get bored and start the process of moving on. If Im into someone I’m pretty upfront about the way I feel, so I expect the same. I don’t like puzzles or mazes.
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I don’t think its game for every Emo Cat some dudes like scorpio men, no offense, can be emo cattish and its genuine LOL..also for those running that weak sh*t please LMAO get ya game up that doesn’t work on grown women son LOL
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Streetz: Mr Write Now Reply:
June 24th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
SHots fired, lolol
Scorpio men are emo vendictive, not cattish.
lol
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i have a little joke going on of late..emo rappers or emo bloggers i can’t tell the difference…
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