An Epic Tale: When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong.
**In an effort to keep things fresh and because I found this story incredibly entertaining. I am showing some blog love to JG aka Becky the Black Blogger. Please read this story on black on black and woman on man violence. Be sure to share feedback!- Slimington Von Jackson**
If you disagree with my opinions, feel free to flame me in the comments section, but if you get all mean and nasty about it, so will I. 
(Seriously, I’m like the nicest person in the world, I’ll probably go cry about it and then ask my e-friends for proper insults to make me feel better)
Ok! On with it.
Recently I was out with a guy friend of mine while visiting my college town and we were on our way out for some good old fashion clubbing. It was graduation weekend, and while we’ve both graduated we were still having a bit of fun with the younger crowd just for the hell of it. Well this evening we decided to meet up with some friends at this lounge that is supposed to be Bougie and Black High Class. I expected everyone to be drinking Riesling and Moscato (the only wines it seems like black people drink. Love my people, but please, learn your pairings…Tangent. Sorry) and for dudes to have on shades indoors. Sadly I did not get a chance to make it in. Cuddle around kids while I tell you a story. I promise this is all factual and names have been changed to protect the innocent, hood, guilty, and shameful.
We are pulling up and Mike sees that a parking spot is about to be available down a side street. We pull up and wait patiently for the man to leave and as we are making the 3-point turn to back into the spot, another car quickly swoops in and takes the spot. In doing so, the driver of the car almost hits Mike’s car twice. Now, I think this is completely rude and very bold, but I’m a small-town girl and I don’t really get down with conflict. Mike on the other hand is from a city where respect and fighting go hand in hand. Think of it as Detroit meets NYC meets Palm Trees. While I did not think it was a good idea to confront this girl (from now on we will call her Duval. Those from FL will understand) on her blatant disrespect, Mike watched as she pulled into the spot, looked at his shocked face and flipped him off mouthing “And what N***A?!”. There was nothing I could say.
Mike got out of the car, stood behind his car and asked her “So are you really going to take my parking spot and almost hit my car?”
She responded, “So what N***A you aint finna do S***!”
Mike: “I’m just saying. You almost hit my car, and now you want to be a G about it?”
Duval: “N***a I will break your A** right now. STFU or I will call someone to come out her and kill yo a**!”
Mike: “WTH? Do not make idle threats! Use my phone to call them! You wanna talk about guns like that?”
A few more words were flung and as Mike makes the move to return to his car he is stopped by the sound of Duval (Those from Florida should get this name choice) getting out of her car. She gets out and runs up on him and chest bumps him NBA style. She is in his face cursing, promising to have him bodied, and a few times she mushes him in the face. He’s yelling back at her but is making no threatening moves. Her friend and I get out of our cars to try to calm the situation but this girl is on fire. I’m pushing him back into his car and her friend is holding her, but it’s doing no good. Right when I almost have him in the car, Duval runs behind me and swings over my head to slap him in the face.
Before I could really register that she hit him, she catches him again with a closed fist. (Additionally, all of her flailing actually caught me twice too) Mike is an athlete and I’m not that good at defense, so when he pulled a move I’ve only seen wide receivers do to really quick Safetys, I was left with broken ankles. He moved around me and clocked her in the side of the head. He didn’t really hit her as hard as he should’ve and she was only “shocked” for about 5 seconds. Long enough for me to get him in the car. She returned to her flailing and screaming and tried to kick the windows of his car in.
That’s the long story and it was insane. Even her friend was apologizing to us and made it seem like this was nothing new. I was just stunned. Shocked. Initially I was pissed because he should have never gotten out of the car, then I was pissed because he hit her. Then as the shock started wearing off I realized that she definitely assaulted him. I believed him when he said that when he got out of the car, he in no way expected it to escalate to that degree. That made sense considering he was very calm and composed despite his irritation. It was a shock that her third sentence to him was “I’m going to have someone come shoot you.” Where he is from, disrespect never goes unchecked because most people know better than to act reckless to begin with. For me this was all brand new. However, I have to say, this girl strung together insults better than any pro I’ve ever seen. I’ve never seen such a fool mouth.
Here’s the part I wanted to get to though. I’m a firm believer in not fighting. I don’t believe a man should just wild out and hit a woman, and likewise I believe a woman should not hit a man. I believe that is only fair. I feel like far too often, women use the “he better not hit me, I’m a woman” excuse to attempt to put major beatings down on men. That makes no sense. I’m not talking about a woman who talks too much trash and then a man hits her. No dice. I’m talking about a woman who puts her hands on a man first. If you want to act this recklessly then be prepared for the consequences. If I do not wish to be hit by a man, then I will not do so myself first. Simple enough. I don’t see how this is too hard to comprehend. I will teach my son never to hit a woman, he is stronger than her and he should walk away.
However, if she lays her hands on him, clearly she’s not a woman save for her anatomy, and you have every right to defend yourself. Of course, when a man is assaulted and defends himself it will usually still be his fault, however I believe that as women continue to get bold and reckless, this too will become more fair. I honestly believe the girl in this story was probably drunk or under some type of influence. Her actions were that of only the girls I’ve seen on TV before. I have never before seen someone act so insane. He was pretty upset about it and embarrassed and apologized profusely, but it was still something out of a really bad movie.
So to the readers I suppose, men what would you have done? Perhaps you may not have gotten out of the car, but if you had, and the situation went from 0-60 like it did, what would have been your response?
After it happened, we recounted the story to friends over the weekend and a lot of our female friends are from the same area that he is from. They all agreed that his reaction wasn’t unusual and actually asked me why I didn’t jump in and get at the girl first. LOL. I tell you. The city they are from is no joke.
Ladies, what would you have done?
JG aka Becky the Black Blogger
122 Responses to “An Epic Tale: When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong.”
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let me say this.. they wre both wrong at some point but she was wrong all the way around. She was wrong on stealing the spot, but he should never have gone to the car IF he really didnt plan on doing anything. I understand why he did it and I know that he probably just wanted to scare her a bit and get some of the anger off his chest, you have to understand though, that everybody aint scared of you and just like he had the “I wish a ninja would attitude” she did too. Being from a rowdy southern town I have learned that in a situation like this its best to move on if you dont want to fight cause really even best case scenario he cusses her out and no fight happens she still got the spot..but I feel him…now as far as hitting goes… when you put your hands on someone else you are giving them the right to put they hands on you point blank period. Man or Woman when you throw a lick be prepared to take one thats my motto….
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Anita Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
shay_D_lady is 100% correct, people aren’t supposed to hit each other in the first place regardless of gender. If they do anyway, they have to be prepared for the consequences. Obviously punching a crazy stranger who swung on you first is quite different from beating your wife because she burned the roast. But everyone involved in this story was lucky nobody had a gun…
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I’m sorry, but she deserved to get clocked upside her head for that.
I believe men are the stronger gender naturally, and we, women need to recognize that and back up off the handplay- Because when he hits you back, he can very well knock you out.
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I think she deserved every bit of that… yeah dudes are stronger, but so was momma back in the day. If you were askin for it, what’d u get? A quick, firm dose of reality to remind u that u were outa ur mind – welcome back.
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yeah i agree with what people have said so far. she def deserved what she got. i’m from NYC, and i know how serious it can get if someone steals your parking spot.
i’m a firm believer that men should not hit a woman. however, if she OD attacks him, then he has the right to defend himself. by defend, i don’t mean beat the crap out of her. but definitely, do something that will stop her from REALLY crossing the line (i.e. giving her a firm shake or something). i’m glad your friend didn’t knock her ass out… the pop upside her head was enough to make her fall back.
she should have followed my rule: only fight dudes if he attacks you first… then you can go for the kill
.
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I don’t think I could say enough how shocked I was. Slim and I were trying to think of a fitting 3Ways title for myself and he came up with Becky the Black Blogger because jokingly I call myself a Becky all the time. But it’s just because I’m not used to conflict like this, and when it happens, I get super Becky. I have never heard someone spit the foulness that she did. I’ve also never been in a fight or had to break one up.
Looking back on that night though, if it wouldn’t have landed someone in jail, I wish I could have youtubed that junk.
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“Men shouldn’t hit women” isn’t a social rule created so women could wyle out on dudes. It’s so dudes don’t OD and haul of and slap the shit out of a woman who can’t match his strength.
In light of that, ol’ girl was wrong, wrong, wrong. Maybe he was wrong for getting out of the car, but you can’t blame him. She almost hit his car twice and stole his spot. Then she wanted to be foul AND hit him?
Women who do that never expect to get hit back because they assume the man is too scared of what will happen on a legal level if they do. That’s BS and they need to be slapped.
Regardless of gender, people have the right to defend themselves.
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Cheekie Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:38 am
ASmith – “‘Men shouldn’t hit women’” isn’t a social rule created so women could wyle out on dudes. It’s so dudes don’t OD and haul of and slap the shit out of a woman who can’t match his strength.”
This is my exact philosophy. In general, too. Just because unwritten rules are there doesn’t mean folks should be going all willy nilly and taking advantage of said rules.
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Ummmm, Beck?? I’m gonna need you to get yo gangsta up. Where I’m from (the *bougie* burbs of PG County) if you are out with a male friend and a female jumps that far out of pocket, it’s YOUR job to kick her azz, not his! He only needs to do back-up moves, like the faux pull-off (where he attempts to pull the rat away from the scuffle, but really he’s just holding her arms so you can get some licks in), scouting for nearby rocks and such, and – if you’re handling the business ok by yourself- kicking in that heffa’s car.
I don’t play that sh*t. If I were with a man and was approached by a raggedy dude talkin’ smack, MY man would step in and save me. Because men fighting women is not a good look, especially to the cops. And I’m gonna jump out there and assume that the guy you were with is Black as well. Near a club, fighting a hoodrat. No-go, mami.
I know that you’re anti-fighting – I am too….to a degree. But this sh*t right here? Good enough reason to beat the brakes off a b**ch.
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 9:13 am
LOL! Awesome. Yea* let me tell you how our other friends were like “I would have been fighting too!”
Hun-ney. Let me tell you that it just aint in me. Unless you hit ME I just can’t seem to escalate my anger that high. He’s not my *man* so it would have been pretty epic for me to break my shoe or my nail over the situation. I could have gotten in her face too, instead of jumping to hold him back, but LORD. I swear that would have pushed her to go pick up broken glass or something. Thank God she aint have heat on her. She’s clearly the type that would have pulled it out as she was stealing his spot.
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shay_D_lady Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 9:38 am
LOL now this is a post I can get behind… beat the brakes off that biatch…LMAO EXACTLY
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 9:40 am
I told you Shay…. I need to harness my inner you. I don’t think I’m a pushover or anything, I just don’t find MYSELF in situations that are likely to piss me off that much and again, it takes a lot to get me THAT angry. I need to get in the gym and get my weight up.
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 9:45 am
yeah i kinda agree with this. i haven’t been in a fight either (and i think i’m too cute to fight anyway =P), but i think if that heffa hit me a couple times either because i got caught in the cross-fire, or she aimed at me intentionally, i would have to bust fiyah on her ass (read: release years of pent up aggression).
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TRUE Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Im with you on that Vanessa…I woulda pushed ole boy aside and took over
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Yeah Whatev Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
Oh no. I’ve never been in a real physical fight (play fights yes) and I’m not trying to be in one. I don’t want any scars, cuts, and bruises. I don’t want to risk getting stabbed/cut and having battle wounds forever. Although my skin is a rich chocolate color, it’s very sensitive and bruises very easily. Being tall and “athletic looking”, I’ll just use the fact that “she looks like she could win a fight” to hide the fact that I can hardly throw a decent lick. I’m pretty weak when it comes the physical stuff i.e. one time I was held down and tickle tortured to near death by a gang of 10-11 year olds (I was 21) and I couldn’t even do a damn thing about it as much as I struggled. It might not really be physical weakness because I lift 20lb dumbells in bicep and tricep curls. I could squat with 120 lbs. I’m strong, but I think its my weakness to never want to hurt anybody. But if I’m ever in a life threatening situation, I won’t fight, I’ll take flight and leave the fighting to the rougher necks. LOL
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Yeah Whatev Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
okay I might fight in extreme situations like someone is threatening someone I love like my mom/dad/future children, etc. Only in those very extreme situations I will have to put it down “Beyonce in Obesessed”-style
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I’m with you JG. He was Man enough to handle his own battle. Now had it been my brother, or a really close S.O. I may have had second thoughts…but then I’d fall back, because I would know they could protect themselves…
Sounds like Oh girl was on somethin’ (scratchin my head) she’s gonna come across the wrong one, and then it’s over
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Anna Nimous Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 9:35 am
I think she was on something, too. That’s ok – I’ve got the remedy….
I would step in, only because of the reasons I listed before: Black man, near a club, near cops, getting beat on by a chick. If Mr. Officer had shown up and seen the one hit he gave that rat… JG’s story would have ended in jail – most likely for her friend, not the rat.
Anna “The Wrong One” Nimous
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I would have transformed into the Black Incredible Hulk and stepped on her, or I would have launched toward her horizontal in the air and dropkicked her Zangief style.
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 9:34 am
LOL this sounds so foolish. But I see it. I see it.
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 9:51 am
i hate that Zangief move… but it’s enough to get the job done. LOL
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:27 am
This kneegrow done channelled one of the worst characters from street fighter ever!!
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:33 am
word… but he’s def not THE worse. if he went bison on her, that would have been OD.
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Balrog was definitely the worst. But I would have been very impressed if he hit her with a hadoken (half circle forwards mid punch)
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Slim Jackson Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Aight you 2, Zangief was an incredibly difficult character to use..but his moves did major damage. He spinning piledrives you three times and the round is over.lol. I hate fighting against him as the CPU. Usually takes a couple attempts to whoop dat a$$
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:43 am
wait wait… isn’t balrog the boxer? whats the name of that dude from thailand again?? he was kinda serious, too.
Zangief was tough, but he’s also slow. bison would do that spinning electric move on you back to back and you’d be dead mad fast.
but anyway, we can continue this in an offline convo.
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CVal Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Sidenote: M. Bison is really named Vega, Vega is supposed to be Balrog, and Balrog is really M. Bison. America messed up with the original translations from Japanese lol. Check that Street Fighter 4, I’ll see you in the streets!
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 11:51 am
That makes sense, being that “Balrog” was kind of like Mike Tyson, it makes sense for him to be M. Bison. Vega seemed like such a Brazilian name to me though
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“Duval” really deserved what she got. I am not condoning a man hitting a woman, but when she threatens, hits him first and attacks his car, she deserves a “calm the eff down” slap in the face. At the same time, I agree with Anna, JG it was your [unspoken] womanly duty to whop that chick’s ass.
I understand being anti-violence. However, her threatening to have him “bodied” would have jeopardized your life, therefore giving you every right to punce on that ass.
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:01 am
This is so fun! LOL
Y’all don’t understand! Don’t y’all know that http://jgrunsthecity.com JG* RUNS THE CITY!
I would have been out my BCBG pumps so fast and down that damn street like Ricky from Boyz N The Hood had she have really felt like getting wild. Only difference is I would have been zig-zagging and bobbin and weaving. I love my friend, but real talk, once the fists started flying I did my womanly duty and got his ass in the car and away from her craziness.
LOL Can anyone teach me how to escalate and bring out my inner JG Hulk?
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Anna Nimous Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Oh, your inner Hulk will show itself when the time is right. Matter of fact, I wouldn’t want to be the first person to fight you. Because when you’ve finally had enough I think you’ll give Mt. Saint Helens a run for her money.
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:23 am
This is likely. 24 years of pent up Beckiness. Then I’ll just lash out.
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:27 am
exactly what i said, JG.
let all that anger you held back out!
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ashbunnie Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:26 am
Here are some tips to bring out your inner JG Hulk:
1]Listen to DMX, 24 hours a day: He’s very aggresive. You’ll find yourself grrrr’ing for no reason.
2]Load up on Henny: Studies show when one drinks said liquor they become a thug.
3]Watch Menace II Society over & over, especially the part when Kane whips Chauncy’s ass for trying to holla @ Ronnie
4]Lastly, spend your next vacation in Brooklyn. Doesn’t matter which part either, you’ll leave there a certified thug!
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:31 am
lol @ listen to DMX
tell me why i immediately thought of “stop being greedy” when he has the “angel” and devil voices… yeah, the devil def won in that song lol.
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LoudPen Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Yea that comment was funny.
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Yeah Whatev Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
“Lastly, spend your next vacation in Brooklyn. Doesn’t matter which part either, you’ll leave there a certified thug!”
Yeah, I totally need to spend a summer or something in Brooklyn. Brooklynites lol seem to start fights just because they are from Brooklyn and they need/live to rep their city i.e. Tanisha from The Bad Girls Club, Season 2. “POP OFF! POP OFF! I’m from Brooklyn b***h! BROOKLYN!!!!” Somebody from Brooklyn is probably ready to get in an e-fight with me. By the way, I am originally from Da Bronx, but when I took a quiz on facebook called “How Bronx are You?” I got hit with the Riverdale meaning I’m not really all that Da Bronx at all. Understandable since I haven’t really lived there since I was 5.
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
As a native Brooklynite, Brooklyn just aint the same more. 2520s have taken over. Hacidic Jews run a large percentage of it. If you aint from Brownsville, you aint hard.
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damn. this story is sad yet funny at the same time. i think it really is unfair for women to put their hands on men and expect not to get hit back.
this story reminds me of my freshman year in undergrad when one of my friends got punched in the face over a spades game by a girl. he wore glasses so he got a deep cut above his eye. he still tried to be the bigger man by holding her hands down so she couldn’t hit him again. thats when her homegirl punched him in the back of the head. my friend didn’t know who it was so he let the first girl go and turned around and threw a punch. caugh ole’ girl clean in the jaw and dropped her. they had the audacity to get on the phone and call some dudes, talking about “come down here and beat his ass, i can’t believe he put his hands on us.” o_O. jersey chicks i tell ya. lol.
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:25 am
I’m tryna tell you. Chicks get real G when it’s convenient. Not to mention, he looks like a pretty boy (only he doesn’t belong to *that* frat). He’s tally and slender and taped up and well manicured in his sexy. I think she saw him and thought “oh this aint nothin”. Had he have looked like Rick Rawse. I think this would have gone differently.
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:25 am
LMAO
though it’s crazy that stuff like this happens, i can’t help but laugh at the fact that some chicks have to get hurt first in order to learn not initiate fights with dudes. smh…
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well, to be honest I subscribe to the same belief. I think that if a woman. hits a man, she opens the door to have her ass whooped. and I’m with mike on this theory about respect. a friend of mine and I used to joke that it’s all about respect but seriously, it is.
and I would have gone upside her head too if I was mike. hell, she’d still be picking get face up off the floor if I were there especially if I had gotten caught up in the swinging. my Vaseline would have been on, earrings off, and hair pulled back in 2 seconds flat and I would have wallywopped her ass.
ok, I got excited… lol
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I have a story when I beat a girl with a garbage can but I wont tell that story anymore because i’ve told it many a time on many a blog. I am a firm believer that when you’re bigger, girls think that they can hit you more. They think that their punches wont hurt. Sometimes that sh*t hurts B, real talk.
I will not hit a girl unless they’re like a butch lesbian. Other than that, I will call my momma who will shoot you. I really mean that too. She is licensed to carry in both NY and VA and she claims she’s too old to fight.
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Anna Nimous Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 11:22 am
I wanna hear about that trash can.
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I cant find it anywhere, and its way too long to type again lol
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
U put it on our blog once Peyso.
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
If you find it, I will pay pal you a dollar
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Southern Belle Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
“I have a story when I beat a girl with a garbage can…”
bahahahaha
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Cheekie Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
I think I remember reading that story when you guest posted on Single Sisters Speak Out. And it was hilarious.
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
please find the post… it sounds hilarious!
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
First hit on google
http://singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com/2009/02/19/am-i-wrong/
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streetz Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
THIS STORY >>>>> LMAOOOO Damn som you shouldve been DEAD!
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I too am dying laughing. Why did I hear your voice like Sophia on the Color Purple? “Nah… Moo Moo… if you cross this line”
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Til this day, ppl in the hood ask me about this
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Southern Belle Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Not too many things make me laugh the kind of laugh that has me seizing on the floor from the pain of a cramping stomach. HILARITY!
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
wow… that WAS hilarious LMAO
thank u for making my day. that heffa deserved to get hit with the garbage can, especially since she was coming at you with KNIVES! so no, you weren’t wrong.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Ya know, I wish I had posted Peyso’s story here.lol. That sh*t made my abs hurt. I read it before and read it again and it was equally as entertaining.
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ashbunnie Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
omgosh I’m so dead. It’s funny that a fat girl’s nickname is moo moo. this was truly a funny story.
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InsomniaPoet Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
all i can see is the scene from Harlem Nights, and Moo Moo saying so you wanna hit people with garbage cans? LMAO
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
@ Insomnia, why you wishing that on her fat stubby toes?
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This is one of the most hilarious epic tales I read in a while.
JG*, I’m not gonna clown you because I’d probably be shocked for a good while myself. Ya’ll don’t understand how paralyzing pure shock is. I don’t like confrontation either, and have never been in a fight
other than clocking this albino kid who teased me in 6th grade which caused his nose bleed.I guess it all depends how close I was with this “guy friend”. I mean, if he was my ninja, I probably would have to throw a few words her way as well and step up. I’m pretty laid-back and calm in everyday life, but once I get angry or any kind of emotional, it’s pretty explosive. I’m not easily agitated at all, but on the rare occurences that I do get angry, it arrives effing tenfold.
So, if this happend to, say, my man, my family and/or best friend, then I’d probably get pretty heated up, especially after the threat. The threat would be a panic button for me.
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ASmith Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 11:29 am
“I’m not easily agitated at all, but on the rare occurences that I do get angry, it arrives effing tenfold.”
That’s me.
You could probably get away with tryna punk me faster than you could punking one of my close friends. I get real ignorant behind some mess like that. It’s probably a problem.
I just don’t get females who like to provoke and attack males. What IS that?
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Yeah Whatev Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
“I’m not easily agitated at all, but on the rare occurences that I do get angry, it arrives effing tenfold.”
Ok, I finally I think this the way I would describe myself. I’m extremely hard to fire up. It takes a WHOLE lot built up over time to anger seriously anger me to the point of true wrath. But I really don’t know how I would act at full rage because I’ve never been. Not that I can remember, maybe because I might to be the type to mentally black out at times of emotional extremes and thus all cautioness and indications of former self going out the door. I could be capable of anything. LOL. That sounds horrible, doesn’t it? good thing it’s never happened (knocking on wood).
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Cheekie Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Exactly, Yeah Whatev.
Like that saying goes, “You betta watch out for dem quiet ones”. Pent-up anger is the deadliest anger of all. A subcategory of that is “never-before-seen” anger. Watch the eff out!
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LMAO..I wouldn’t have gotten out of the car, as long as she didn’t actually hit my vehicle. I overstand that people are often cowardly, ignorant, and mean spirited and things like that situation can turn deadly in an instant, and thats so not worth it.
…….pick your battles wisely cause it can for real cost a life these days.
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He/yall shoulda called her a b*tch and kept it moving.
Me personally would have stepped in at that point. I wouldn’t let my male friends fight a woman, I’d do the arguing for him. I wouldn’t want him to get into more trouble than he was alread in.
But yeah, a simple “Eff you B” (the real words, not the censored ones) should have sufficed and yall shoulda kept it moving
wait..nah….now that I think about it, yall shoulda just let her G yall…naw..I’m from the hood, naw…its just not in our “blood” to let it slide that easy
naww….a cuss out the window and maybe something thrown..okay lemme shut up
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Anna Nimous Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
See, everytime we try to be good, respectable Negroes – somebody gotta go and take us there. If I had a few drinks her car would’ve been bricked on sight. If I was sober I would have waited till she was gone and totalled her sh*t.
Cuz that’s the kind of b*tch I am.
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
See now I’m a strategic chick. Had he have been like.. whatever let’s go… but was still pissed when we came back…. I would have flattened all of her tires or something tragic like that. I’m a mind game type. But I’m still respectful, so I wouldn’t have made it a complete mess. Just real rude and inconveniencing.
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I still got a problem actually hitting a female. I’ve been in that kind of situation before, getting hit multiple times and cussed out. Still didn’t hit her….
I just got mad, mushed her face, grabbed her arms long enough for her to realize she won win, and shook the shit out of her.
It’s pretty effective
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
I mean if you’re going to “mush” me in the face, you might as well hit me. If we’re taking it there at all.
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
a mush and a hit are much difference. if i mush ur feelings are going to be hurt, if i hit u, u legitimately might die.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
“a mush and a hit are much difference. if i mush ur feelings are going to be hurt, if i hit u, u legitimately might die.”
Almost choked on my turkey sandwich at this.lol.
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Yes I understand the physical differences between the two. (Although I have seen Mushes that have almost snapped necks)
But I just think it’ll make matters worse and lead to you hitting me anyways.
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
a mush usually means that i am not trying to hurt u and to leave me alone. if u get the message so be it, if not it goes down
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Cheekie Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
@Slim – Stop eating while reading comments from your hilarious readers! You shoulda learnt by now! lol
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
hit or shake, u still put ur hands on her, and got her to stop. sounds effective to me…
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Yeah Whatev Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
I just got mad, mushed her face, grabbed her arms long enough for her to realize she won win, and shook the shit out of her.
I think this a more manlier way to go than hitting. The only reason a man should hit a woman/whatever she is at the time should be if she is threatening his life with a weapon of some sort. Or in cases when the woman has the obvious physical advantage. The End.
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I think they were both wrong, however he was well within his right to beat the chickenhead out of her. I feel he was wrong for getting out of the car. You already see that this girl is ignant since she almost hit your car twice and then mouthed off about it.
So you expect there to be NO confrontation when you get out of the car? However, since she she hit him he was well within his right to knock the shit out of her.
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This blog is hilarious. A Few Points
#1 – My mother always told me that No means no, and not to hit a woman. She also told my sisters that if they put their hands on a man you deserve what you get.
#2 – Its one thing to curse, its another to get out the car and start beefin, but you want to start hitting a stranger and threaten his life? Honestly, I show utmost restraints in those situations, but once you go to guntalk, Im going to make sure you cant “stick me for my papers” and handle the situation, and be sorry tomorrow.
#3 – LG, I cosign that you didnt have a vested interest in jumping in, but is dude your friend, FwB, acquaintence, sugar daddy, what? If I went out with a chick unless it was on some first date tip.. if thats the homie or my girl, and you dont throw the first punch, you get the o_O face, lol. You shouldnt be what you arent, but damn, trip her LG! lol
#4 – I abhor Zangief with a passion that burns like 1000 sons. These kids on XBOX 360 use dude, cheese, do that effin piledriver and other grabs, and end careers. My mission in life is to destroy any Zangief user. That man single handedly made me hate the USSR for 10 years
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
#3 – LG, I cosign that you didnt have a vested interest in jumping in, but is dude your friend, FwB, acquaintence, sugar daddy, what? If I went out with a chick unless it was on some first date tip.. if thats the homie or my girl, and you dont throw the first punch, you get the o_O face, lol. You shouldnt be w
Y’all so damn crazy. LOL I did what I thought was best and right. I tried to get him in the car. Matter of fact, he was in the car, all he had to do was SIT when she began her strongest attack.
And I think if we were in even closer relation, I would have called my special police officer friend first before I started fighting. I’m just not that girl.
My mama aint raise me that way. My island is a loving one. LOL
J…..G*
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streetz Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
And what island is this? Long Island? LMAO!
U better not be Haitian, or we’ll have BEEF!
I feel you though… but you gotta show hood. At least hop up out the car
turn yo swag onnnnnnnnnnnnand front like you got the toolie in the trunk ready to have them bullets do the 3 man weave like NBA drills!**looks into becomming a gangster rapper**
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Bermuda hunny.
It’s a sad thing y’all don’t know me. LOL… Because if you did. I mean if you even heard me talk. You would know it’s so hard for me to fake hood.
But I can say this. One time some of my Sorors were being verbally attacked by a rowdy dude from another org.. *cough* I was mad enough in that situation to at least give dude an intellectual tongue lashing. But I felt like I was protecting myself and my sisters. I still was far from what you could call crunk.
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streetz Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Oh Ok. We actually was out there last year for memorial Day! Bermuda woman are
Sexy, Lovely, and mm mm goodvery nice!I hope you gave that frat dude *cough* a piece of
Nah, not even going thereyour mind!Reply
Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Most of been an angry Alpha, Da Bruhz wouldnt have done this lololol
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streetz Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Most of been an angry Alpha, Da Bruhz wouldnt have done this lololol
^^^
You see…. lolol
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
@ Peyso… psssssh. Wrong. LOL I need to meet these “Bruhz” up north. Down here…. not so much.
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
SMH lol. Come visit.
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Yea* where I’m from the Alphas show the most love to the Reds. I’ll have to get my mind right for my move up North.
LOL so off topic..
And Y’all are super off-topic too with the streetfighter and the WWF moves. Hilarious. Y’all need to teach a class.
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streetz Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
LOLOL Im mad at the Alphas show love post. We love our sorors
when they not booed up with Kappas..i kid i kidReply
RightCoastLexSteele, Not Normally Violent Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
A non violent island = oxymoron
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RightCoastLexSteele, Not Normally Violent Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Fire and Ice…smh…y’all can have each other.
Where are the lovely girls w/ the pearls at?
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
@RightCoastLexSteele, Not Normally Violent,
I’m with you on this. I’m lookin for some
real coleP & G loveReply
JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
^^^^ See what I mean? LOL
There was a post on FB and the “Bruhs” were giving us up to the Alphas. I was like “hold the H*** up. Y’all don’t even have that option. We are not YOURS.” They were trying to trade us with the K’s like Iverson and some other guy.
But hey. If it means my brother will stop thinking he can haze me up. I’ll take it! I love everbody! Just don’t be trying to squeeze me up all sweaty and stanky and then try and TELL me to go do something. LOL
Fire & Ice does make steam…. Nice.
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RightCoastLexSteele, Not Normally Violent Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
There was a post on FB and the “Bruhs” were giving us up to the Alphas. I was like “hold the H*** up. Y’all don’t even have that option. We are not YOURS.” They were trying to trade us with the K’s like Iverson and some other guy.
I neva, I neva, I neva claim reds. I have friends who happen to be reds and it’s all love. (Ms. Jenkins, this obviously excludes you.) I mean after all, Frank went on a road trip, came back and Edna got rid of her pearls and had elephants EVERYWHERE. Saddest day in history really.
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
i legitimately almost choked on saliva
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
@RCLS Latest atrocity of a post:
JESUS!!! Jesus are you there!? Is that you!???
Please… be a fence.
Thank you.
JG*
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streetz Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
LMAOOOOOOO I love it!
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ashbunnie Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
“i abhor zangief with a passion that burns like a 1000 sons”
My side hurts. this has got to be one of the funniest statements.
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streetz Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
*suns. Sorry :’(
But yea man.. these fuckin fat 14 yr old be kickin ass with the Rooski! I cant deal!! lmao
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If I were in that situation, I’d have followed the philosophy of the following song:
http://www.imeem.com/sofierce514/music/F8RCxid-/ms-behavin-bottle-action/
“I don’t fight, I don’t argue, I just hit the b*tch wit a bottle.”
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
LOL… I can subcribe to this. If I had a bottle I could see that happening. But I still would have only felt right waiting until she hit him first. Then I could claim self defense if we didn’t get out of there fast enough. I aint taking THAT big of an L for NO dude.
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
LMAO omg… i’m so mad u brought this song back.
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Well for starters, I’d be the d*ckhead stealing the parking space, and once I’ve stole your parking space, I have nothing left to say.
To the matter at hand, as soon as she chest bumped me, she would have found herself in a modified full nelson, pressed up against the back glass of my V, with my forearm strategically placed on her neck right under her jawline until someone saw it fit to peel me off of her. In my fantasy world I’d ideally want to quickly take her legs out and put her in an ankle lock and while screaming “TAP!!!!!”. For her sake hopefully she knew what that meant before I snapped her ankle.
Definitely can’t hit a female, but aggressive physical restraints are all good. Unless your name is Sowhatiff Jenkins…in that case you get SOS.
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Oh my.. I seriously… starting laughing out loud. But it was tough. I can’t LOL literally while at work. Thank God I have my own office. I almost cried.
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
I pictured this happening in the middle of west 28th st and 10th ave in NYC, i almost cried it was so funny
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streetz Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
LOLOL
cosign on the ankle lock, however i wouldve went with the sharpshooter
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
I’ve always been a fan of the figure four leg lock (AKA an inversted STF. Old school wrestlin head here) and the lion tamer
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streetz Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Yea, an Indian Death Lock or a Million $$ Dream or even a camel clutch will serve as some ack right to a chick!
Dont sleep on the abdominal stretch either!
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Peyso Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
I used to mess with the Crossface Crippler and my mom used to get mad at me for hitting my brother with Socko and the Mandible Claw
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RightCoastLexSteele, Not Normally Violent Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
All valid moves, but I thinking of the scenario and the actual time involved in setting up a figure four or a sharpshooter. It’s the heat of the moment, and you didnt sit down in a production meeting before the match and have someone agree to be put in these moves. I love all these moves, but outside of the ankle lock I think I’d have to go with a 4 leaf clover…combines elements of the sharp shooter and the figure four.
Prolly forgot to mention earlier that as she was pressed up against the whip, I’d start banging her head against the window and talkin to her like your mom did when she was taxin that ass “Are (bang) you (bang) crazy? (bang)”
Really…I’m not a violent person.
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niasmomma "I Ain't A Killa, But Don't Push Me" Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I good ol’ fashioned well-placed, concrete pile driver’ll getterdone… Then smooth down the edges with a flying elbow? Oh, she can cancel Christmas on that note…lol
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streetz Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
@ RCLS
I cosign the 4 leaf clover, but in that situation I wouldve slapped on the chicken wing, or if she was a light weight, hit her with the Go To Sleep(GTS) a la CM Punk! She wouldve went beddy bye and you could pimp walk out the parkin lot!
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streetz Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
We used to jump pppl in the hood like the four horseman. Dudes would have a move where they hold you in the air by arms and legs while some1 runs and catches you with a full body splash.. in the air!
I caught it from the fattest kid in the hood (pause) I thought my life was over, lol
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Southern Belle Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
There was only one time I was in a road altercation. I was driving and I came up behind two cars parked next to each other in the street, leaving me unable to pass.
Definitely think I could have bodied the man behind the wheel (pause?), but I spared his life.
It was one of my holy days so I couldn’t be violent.
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
LMAO @ Holy days…
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
I’m so sorry for taking it there… But part of me was thinking that you probably pull this type of stunt in the bedroom. LOL
When I first read it, I wasn’t sure which type of scenario you were drawing for us.
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I haven’t read the comments, just the story and I have to say it isn’t shocking at all. I don’t think he was wrong for getting out the car either. I think the whole problem escalated bc you played the situation like “Becky” You needed to play the bonquesha role and got in her ass as soon as she started getting out of control with her mouth. With my guy friends the rule is: if a dude starts tripping on me, they take care of it, if a chick starts tripping on them, i take care of it. And if you didn’t want to get involvd when she was yapping, you should’ve knocked Duval right in her country a** mouth, as soon as she tried to hit Mike and “accidentally” hit you. WTF? No one I know is letting someone hit them and walking away~
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JG – you know you’ve outted the street kids with this one, right? We were blending in quite nicely til you brought this mess up, now we’re all coming out of the woodwork! If you put me there I’m gonna forget all about my degrees, job and home training. Out comes the vaseline, cuz chickens are quick to scratch.
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JG* Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
LOL I know right! All y’all went from “Well you see….” to “Bump dat hoe!! I hit her in da head with a M.F.’in bottle!”
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Great post! I honestly don’t think he should’ve gotten out the car. Clearly, she was a crazy ass b*tch, as evidenced by her taking the parking spot the way she did.
Whatever he had to say (if it was all about talking), he coulda said from the car. This situation really warranted no more than a VICIOUS cussin’ out, in the beginning… I repeat – in the beginning…
Now, I’m all cool with everything that happened (he got out and slick started woofin’ — I mean he asked a rhetorical question; shit, she HAD the parking space and she HAD almost hit his car — she popped off and started threatening, WORDS so whatever) UNTIL the first “lick” was passed. Once she swung on him, and ESPECIALLY once she grazed/bumped/edged YOU in the process?? THEN she reached over YOU to hit HIM and still ended up hitting YOU AGAIN?!?! Aw, hell naw! Homegirl woulda GOT IT, period and point blank.
“Don’t start no shit, won’t be no shit” is the name of the game where I come from… Your granny can get it if she swings on me – that’s just that on that.
She swung on him ’cause she thought she could whoop his ass – it’s just that simple. And then he hit her with an ole’ weak ass hook?? Probably on some “I’ain’t wanna hurt her…” mess. Shiiit… She was trying to hurt HIM! NAH. Homegirl shoulda been picking up her teeth/hair weave/pocketbook/flip flops – etcetera off the ground. Give her a “love tap” for what? So she can REALLY come out of a bag on your ass? Nah.
I don’t condone men hitting women, HOWEVER… If push comes to shove – stop her in her tracks, fell her like a tree, and make her re-think her next move. Don’t beat her down, but definitely hit/shove her ONE TIME hard enough to make her have to pick herself up, dust herself off, pull her dress back down from over her head, and pick grass bits outta her hair…lol You’re defending yourself and you’re using equal force, so no laws broken…
I commend your stance, JG, because it’s genuine and it’s instinctual – you just don’t wanna fight anybody. I wasn’t raised like that, though.
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Cheekie Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Love the addition to your moniker, niasmomma. Especially if said in Ricky Smiley’s Grandma voice.
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I must say…DAMN!! I was on the edge of my seat reading this story. Homegirl lost it and it’s hard to say she didn’t deserve to get clocked. You can only push a person (man or woman) but so far before it becomes clear that you are asking to get yah blocked knocked off.
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