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Hanging with Mr. or Ms. Cut Buddy
**The following takes place on a random cost-effective Friday night between a long-standing couple that’s sitting on the couch and eating turkey sandwiches.**
Bertha: **Chewing on sandwich** Oh, I meant to tell you that one of my friends is in town. We’re going to go out tomorrow and grab some food and chill out for a bit.
Leroy: **Also chewing on sandwich** So much for our budget plan right? **Laughs**
Bertha: Oh, he said he’ll treat.
Leroy: **Stops chewing on sandwich and puts it down on paper plate** Wait, who is “he” and why is “he treating?”
Bertha: I told you he’s a friend of mine. We go way back. His name is Mr. Marcus.
Leroy: **Chokes and coughs** Wait, is this that negro that’s always joking around on your FB wall about hanging out and saying he owes you one?
Bertha: **Sips grape soda** Didn’t know you watched my profile that closely, but yes and that’s what the joke has been about.
Leroy: If I recall, weren’t y’all messing around for a while before we got serious?
Bertha: Yeah, but that was like a year and a half ago. What’s the big deal? Me and you were just friends then.
Leroy: Yeah, I know we were friends, but I remember being at dinner with you and a few mutual acquaintances. You were definitely talking about how his thang was so big and how he gave it to you until you saw Alice in Wonderland…
Bertha: I mean…that was then and this is now.
Leroy: **Kicks puppy and stands up** Hell naw! Ain’t no way in hell that negro is treating you to anything!
Bertha: **Sigh** It’s really not that serious. That insecurity really isn’t s*xy boo.
Leroy: Insecure? Would I be standing here naked if I was insecure? Take this! **Winds up hips and slaps her across right cheek with his piece** You ain’t going out with Marcus tomorrow. Eff that sh*t.
Bertha: Okay, sorry boo. I’ll stay home.
Leroy: **Presses the easy button**
Only if it were this easy.
Now this is a situation that many of us have probably faced along the way…sans sitting on the couch naked and eating sandwiches. Then again, I’m sure a good number of us have done that but I digress. Anyways, we all have pasts that include things that we’re proud of and things that we’re not so proud of but will claim to be proud of in order to get save face. Most of us don’t go around burning bridges as soon as a relationship or friends-with-benefits agreement expires. Some of us turn those who quenched our most carnal needs into good friends or best friends for life. I’m sure the percentage of fiancees that invite old flames to their weddings is higher than people think. I can only hope that I don’t hear voices giggling on the day that I take the plunge into eternal despair willingly.
Weddings aside though, I’ve maintained a few decent non-sexual relationships with a few people from my past. Actually, the number of people I’ve maintained decent relationships with is extremely small. Most of the former “acquaintances” are a distant memory with a good number of their names forgotten. It’s very rare that I’d be in a situation where I’m telling the booski that I’m bout to go hang with someone I used to inject. Now of course I wouldn’t outwardly say that I used to mess with the chick, but we all know it’s obvious when there used to be something there. And if I notice something that appears obvious, I’m putting my sandwich foot down and putting the kabash on that ish. No questions!
There is a large grey area when dealing with your boo’s former boos and, in my case as a man, former love pocket poachers. I’m all about open dialogue, trust, and boundaries. But honestly, where do you draw the line? When you’re friends with a former booty contractor, at what point do you respect your significant other’s opinion or requests that you not associate with that person or be out and about engaging in a day of social activities even if y’all are past that “aerobics” stuff? As a male, I don’t trust any other male…especially if he’s known as the human Ambien medication. All that negro needs to say is “You remember that time when…” and the convo’s already in a bad place because she said yeah and giggled. And if you’re wondering, nothing in particular happened to inspire this post.
So what do you think? Where do you draw the line when it comes to your significant other hanging with or regularly chatting with someone that they used to pleasure? Is it all water under the bridge or is it still too wet? Do you have any particular rules or understandings when it comes to this stuff? Do you always trust people to make the right decision? Anybody? Bueller?
Baby, I’ma need you to cancel that “lunch”,
81 Responses to “Hanging with Mr. or Ms. Cut Buddy”
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“Take this! **Winds up hips and slaps her across right cheek with his piece** You ain’t going out with Marcus tomorrow. Eff that sh*t.” <—– DEAD!!! LMFAO!
Will leave comment after I get up off the floor…
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I couldn’t even finish reading the actual post from utter shock that “Leroy” 1st kicked the puppy and THEN slapped “Bertha” w/ his d*ck??!!! Stick a fork in me because I. am. done.
Let me go finish…
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**Winds up hips and slaps her across right cheek with his piece**
LMAO!!! I haven’t been in a situation where I’m on the side worrying about an old cut buddy. However, my ex-husband always had an issue with an ex of mine that I have always been friends with. He was VERY insecure about it. Luckily, we lived in different states and I didn’t see him often. However, the husband would always trip whenever I was about to visit home and ask me if I was going to be seeing the ex. While the ex and I never made plans, we usually ended up around eachother because he’s my BIL best friend. I would get really pissed at my husband for not trusting me and we got into a few fights about it.
Needless to say, my husband’s fears weren’t unfounded. Although, at that point our marriage was already basically over and he had already cheated.
If I were in that situation again, I would still try to limit contact with the old cut-buddy, but I don’t respond well to ultimatums. So, if you approached me the right way, I would probably just cut off most contact (if not all). Don’t yell or threaten, just explain how you feel about the situation.
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Youhit the nail on the head, pause. You cant trust nikkas… but at the same time there comes a point where you have to trust ur gf to be faithful. the way i see it, you cant control someone. if theyre going to cheat, they will. so I would trust(not encourage) them to make the right decision. if they dont, its on 2 da next one!
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Peyso Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 9:25 am
My current SO doesnt get this. I trust her, I just dont trust them.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 9:26 am
I think it’s an everlasting battle.lol.
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele LLC, Now Federally Funded Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 9:57 am
Roo to the good Ques…and Alpha. LOL
“My current SO doesnt get this. I trust her, I just dont trust them.”
That pretty much sums up the whole post. Streetz is 1000% accurate…you can’t trust niccas, but you do have to show some faith in your SO and trust their intentions and instincts. But you definitely can’t trust a cat that probably has no care in the world for who you are and the fact that you’re currently in a relationship w/ this young lady…I guess today her name is Bertha.
But let’s be real for a second (Be real real son). While 50-75% of this comes from that discomfort of knowing your boo is out solo w/ her old cut buddy, the remainder is definitely an ego trip. Which is why Leroy felt it necessary to smack Bertha w/ his c*ck piece and not a rolled up newspaper.
Last point. If Marcus knows beforehand that Bertha is now boo’d up and still makes it a point to see her on the solo tip, that’s just a disrespectful muhf*cka. Cuz he knows damn well if the shoe was on the other foot, it wasnt going down like that no way, no how. So why the f*ck you gon try to play a n*gga, Marcus? Now I gotta go clean out the trunk of the Deville. Damn.
I lied…this is the last point. Or question I suppose…I see all the ladies talkin a big game, but what do you when your SO’s old no gag reflex-suck it to the last drop flame or ex rolls into down and wants to see him? You stay cucumber cool?
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InsomniaPoet Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 10:19 am
LOL I would. I am not a jealous person ever! I know that no matter what old girl did, I can do better. So go have fun and I will see you when you get home. Trust is the key to every relationship.
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MadScientist7 Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 11:54 am
“I know that no matter what old girl did, I can do better.”
how do you really know this? i mean c’mon its one thing to be confident but you can’t be real. you need more people.
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max Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 10:28 am
I’m staying cool and watching to see what he does. If he decides to go hang with his old piece I won’t trip but I will save it for mental ammunition later on…
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MadScientist7 Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 11:55 am
” I won’t trip but I will save it for mental ammunition later on…”
at least you’re honest. lol that’s what i would do. i don’t forget ish. impeccable memory.
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Toni Childs Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 10:32 am
‘I lied…this is the last point. Or question I suppose…I see all the ladies talkin a big game, but what do you when your SO’s old no gag reflex-suck it to the last drop flame or ex rolls into down and wants to see him? You stay cucumber cool?”
Honestly, I trust you until you give me a reason not to. That’s in all relationships (friendships, whatever). So I don’t really have an issue with you hanging out with an ex-ternt-friend (forgive me for the t-pain reference) if you really are friends. Now if you or said chick has ever had a problem with me being around the two of you…that’s a different story. Truth is everyone that I’ve seriously dated has been a friend first and for the most part I’m still friends with those guys. I know that it made my last boyfriend a little uncomfortable (especially when my Christmas gift from the friend was a GC to Vicki’s) but I also made sure he knew that I had NO interest in that guy. I don’t really go backwards in dating. If it’s over, it was for a reason. You may be a great guy, but not for me. Aside from them, two of my best friends are guys (nothing other than that with either of them) and anyone I date has to understand that I have to have my time with them too. Not like I’m spending ALL of my time with exes-ternt-friends (damn it I did it again), but if someone is in town don’t expect me not to meet up for lunch or dinner…and yes they are probably paying.
Just my thoughts.
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele LLC, Now Federally Funded Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 11:06 am
“I know that it made my last boyfriend a little uncomfortable (especially when my Christmas gift from the friend was a GC to Vicki’s)…”
My blood pressure just raised a little. I need some water…
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Toni Childs Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 11:10 am
To be fair…the boo reaped the benefits of the gift. And you know how guys are…not too much thought into gifts sometimes so (in his words) he just picked a store and bought a card. Or maybe i’m being naive to the little jab he was trying to send to the booski?
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Slim Jackson Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 11:24 am
Not gonna lie, if a dude sent my girl a GC for Vicki’s, I’m just map questing an address and grabbing the baseball bat on the way out.lol.
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele LLC, Now Federally Funded Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 3:23 pm
“Not gonna lie, if a dude sent my girl a GC for Vicki’s, I’m just map questing an address and grabbing the baseball bat on the way out.lol.”
Call me, I’ll drive.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 11:39 am
I’d go with naive for $1000 Alex.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 1:07 pm
Wait, wait, wait. You rocked the lingerie your ex-boyfriend “technically” bought you while you were with your boyfriend for your boyfriend?
That’s… something.
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele LLC, Now Federally Funded Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 3:25 pm
There ain’t no technical about it cuz. It’s not like he got her a Macy’s GC and she copped some drawers from there. Son went to Vickie’s, B. You telling me he didn’t think a Best Buy GC would suffice? GTFOHWBS!
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Peyso Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 4:53 pm
i bet he was just dreaming about what u were gonna use the card to buy
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Streetztalk Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Toni this is a #swindle… yeah he reaped the benefits but u also reaped the mental stimulus package that a former cut buddy trickin on you supplies…
Keep it real son
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MadScientist7 Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 11:56 am
i’m saying bruh. i would have been heated regardless of her feelings toward dude. smh. she probably kept the gift card too.
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MadScientist7 Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 11:52 am
bruh i’ve been in this argument many of times. “oh you don’t trust me?” no i don’t trust his a*s. “but he has a girlfriend/wife now.” since when does that matter?
but don’t let me mention going to have lunch with luquisha, the girl i used to pipe down. it’s fire in the mountains.
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InsomniaPoet Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 12:08 pm
See I think the problem is that the person complaining knows if they were in the situation they might step out with the ex. My thing is don’t put your issues on me or my ex. Don’t claim you don’t trust him when what your really saying is I shouldn’t trust you.
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MadScientist7 Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 1:09 pm
is that what it is? smh it’s about putting the feelings of your current over the feelings of your ex.
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InsomniaPoet Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 1:39 pm
I don’t think its about the feelings of my ex. If I want to be around the ex that means I value something in that person and it isn’t his bedroom behavior. I mean really if I loved a person that didn’t just stop because I got with the next person.
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MadScientist7 Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
see i do think it’s about the feelings of ex. but i guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele LLC, Now Federally Funded Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 3:20 pm
“I mean really if I loved a person that didn’t just stop because I got with the next person.”
And that’s the problem right there.
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele LLC, Now Federally Funded Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 3:22 pm
“See I think the problem is that the person complaining knows if they were in the situation they might step out with the ex. My thing is don’t put your issues on me or my ex. Don’t claim you don’t trust him when what your really saying is I shouldn’t trust you.”
That’s not the problem. The issue is the fact that you feel the need to placate this person that you are no longer in a relationship with and theoretically have no feelings for. You wanna know how he’s doing, check facebook.
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For possibly the first time ever I don’t have a firm opinion.
I’m inclined to think that people need to trust each other and, as Streetz said “if people are going to cheat, they will” no matter what restrictions you put on them.
But on the other hand I think that if you’re in a relationship, you should respect your partner’s feelings and that if hanging with your old cut buddy is more important to you than your current boo’s opinion, you have a problem.
Plus I’m a firm believer in not putting yourself in a position that is conducive to getting me into trouble. I might go into the situation with purely innocent intentions but I’m a sucker for some talks and if he drops one of those “you remember when…” lines on me I might get confused.
If it were me I probably wouldn’t go. It wouldn’t be worth the aggravation.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 6:27 am
I stumped ya!
“Plus I’m a firm believer in not putting yourself in a position that is conducive to getting me into trouble. I might go into the situation with purely innocent intentions but I’m a sucker for some talks and if he drops one of those “you remember when…” lines on me I might get confused.”
Annnd I think this is where so many of us fail.lol.
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Little Miss Sunshine Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 9:52 am
yes!
I am going to however say that I’m going to have to lean with the side of trust. I’m super close with my ex- i wouldn’t tell him about what’s going on with my current situation but we do talk alot and I take his advice on a lot of things. but I’m not with him for a reason and I KNOW that a night of sex with him would just ruin the good thing that I have right now. I would hope that my s.o. would know the same and behave the same.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 10:44 am
That’s the truth Max and I think that’s where most people get caught up. They put their own agenda or ex’s feelings before their current SO’s. Sure the SO shouldn’t wild out, but if he/she has valid feelings about the situation you should take them into consideration.
Folks need to leave that “I’m gon do what I want!” attitude to those young kids on Maury.
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max Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 10:52 am
Exactly. I see my girlfriends all the time doing ish their SO’s don’t want them to do just to assert their independence.
I just look at them like “hope all that independence keeps you warm at night after he leaves your a$$”.
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MadScientist7 Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 12:00 pm
” Sure the SO shouldn’t wild out, but if he/she has valid feelings about the situation you should take them into consideration.”
i’ve ended a relationship on shit ish like this. she lied about traveling to see an old flame. if it was no big deal, you wouldn’t have lied. #ontothenextone
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InsomniaPoet Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 12:07 pm
This is soooo not true. If she told you the truth and you flipped and had a tantrum no no no and then she still went you would be just as angry if not more. Maybe she was less than truthful about going to see the ex b/c she was trying to avoid the drama.
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max Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
If going to see the ex was so deep she had to lie about it, there’s a major problem.
If she wanted to avoid a fight the appropriate course of action would be to not go, not to sneak off.
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Anna Nimous Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 12:53 pm
Max, that’s EXACTLY what I was thinking. Anytime you have to lie to see someone….you’re already 85% of the way to cheating.
I will not co-sign the ho-shyt. Anymore.
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MadScientist7 Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 1:13 pm
that’s exactly what i’m thinking. what’s done in the dark always comes to light. i found out 4 months later by putting two and two and two together. she almost got away with that ish too.
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MadScientist7 Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 1:11 pm
she flew across 3 states. stayed at his house while she claimed to be staying with her “girlfriend”. if i knew the truth of course i would have flipped out. now explain to me her logic behind this one. o_0
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InsomniaPoet Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
well that is a little deep….i was still thinking lunch or drinks or something. my bad.
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MadScientist7 Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
its cool. i might still have side-eyed her if she lied about something like that. like what reason do you have to lie.
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This isn’t an issue for me because I really want to drop pieces of slightly used farm equipment on my ex.
Then again I’m not one to be friendly with exes anyway. Why the f**k are going to friends? Overall that lunch going to need to be cancelled. Jody/Former cut buddies are like vampires, he or she has to be invited in. Contact with exes is just the gateway to Eldridge Woods type behavior.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 10:55 am
Lol. The first thing I pictured was Wild E. Coyote.
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***That Was Easy***
I love my easy button lmfao
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So…
If you tell me I can’t do something… like on some “you my daddy” type stuff, I’ma go do it. Cause I’m ornery like that. Is that right? No. Should I grow the hell up? Probably.
However, the ex thing is kinda touchy and I think we should be respectful of our current s/o’s opinion and feelings on the matter, even if we think they’re being super insecure and super extra. I don’t see anything wrong with making a case, but if he/she is really that uncomfortable with it, I say give it up and take the L.
I don’t feel this is the same as an ex who has issue with opposite-sex friends… that, I think, is totally debateable.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 9:19 am
“I don’t feel this is the same as an ex who has issue with opposite-sex friends… that, I think, is totally debateable.”
That is indeed a debate-worthy topic. I think that ties in here though. The ex’s or FwB’s are now friends of the person that are still in the picture. That causes an equal amount of uneasiness.lol.
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ASmith Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 9:27 am
You’re right and reading InsomniaPoet’s comment got me thinking about how that often inter-relates.
I suppose that’s just a really gray and sticky area and depends heavily on how you prioritize. I’m not close enough friends with any of my exes to go to bat like that, so I won’t trip if my boyfriend doesn’t want me kicking it with them like that.
But my BFF is male and you will get dropped if you give me the ultimatum on him. We won’t even need to discuss it. Knowing this, I always try to be up front about his existence and our relationship. I like to highlight how we’ve never dated, never tried, never thought about it. It works sometimes, but more often than not, I find guys think they can handle it, but they can’t.
My BFF’s girlfriends hate me until they meet me. Always.
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This is a very sensitive issue with me because it always causes an issue in my dating life. I have two very good male friends. One I never dated but he was my first kiss and the other I dated in high school. We were always good friends. Then we dated because everyone was in our ears saying since we were such good friends we should be together. Sadly, we went there very unsuccessfully and then it ended. I can count on one hand how many times we were intimate during the disastrous relationship attempt.
We didn’t speak for almost a year after that and it was terrible… Then we made up and have been nothing but friends since. We have dated each others friends, hooked each other up, and never even thought of going back to that place. With both men, we are honestly like siblings now. We can sleep in the bed together, walk around half dressed and never even give a second glance.
At this point I want them both to walk me down the aisle and be godfathers to my children. BUT every man I have dated the first question they ask about them is “Did yall sleep together or ever date” A couple of times I told people the truth. Only to be given an ultimatum and deal with drama every time their names came up. They have had the same problem with women in their lives relating to me.
One of them is now happily married. His wife didn’t like me until she met me then she realized I would never be that chick. I am now godmother to their son and his wife and I actually speak more than he & I do. The other’s ex-fiancé gave him the ultimatum after getting the ring (me or her)…needless to say I am still here and she is an ex-fiancé.
I guess the point of my long story is. Sometimes ex’s can become friends. Instead of people being insecure or giving ultimatums I think they should try to understand why this person is still around. I am not still tight with every ex-bf or cutty buddy but the two men above are more important to me than half of my home girls and some of my blood relatives.
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Toni Childs Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 10:37 am
” We have dated each others friends, hooked each other up, and never even thought of going back to that place. With both men, we are honestly like siblings now. We can sleep in the bed together, walk around half dressed and never even give a second glance.”
FINALLY. someone who understands that this is indeed possible!
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Andrienne Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 6:11 pm
‘With both men, we are honestly like siblings now. We can sleep in the bed together, walk around half dressed and never even give a second glance.”
I don’t know about anyone else but I’ve never slept in the same bed as my brother or walked around half dressed/naked in front of him. #imjussayin
But I get what you meant. It’s a slippery slope. I tried being friends with my ex for a while except he was convinced that we were going to get back together (after I met my current SO). One day me and the SO were talking about things you shouldn’t do once in a serious relationship and he said keep in contact with an ex, so from that day forth I cut it off. Aside from the ex trying to get back in if the new bf isn’t comfortable with you maintaining contact, you need to step off. Why make the person you’re devoted to uncomfortable? Makes zero sense to me.
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Here are me and the SO’s rules:
Ya can go to lunch, never dinner or for drinks.
You meet them at the spot and leave them at the spot.
There has to be at least 3 years since ya did the deed.
No “keeping in touch” besides the occassional text.
The SO get ultimate veto.
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QueenT Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 9:36 am
CO-SIGN your rules!
I am never, ever going to be all that comfortable with my SO hanging out with an Ex…but, your rules would make it easier for me to deal with…..
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele LLC, Now Federally Funded Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 9:59 am
How are them rules workin out bruh?
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Peyso Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 10:04 am
So far so good. I’ve actually met up w/ more formers than she has. (3 to 1). I picked her up from the coffee shop where she met ole dude though, aint no sliding off here
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Reecie Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 10:03 am
these are good rules. there should definitely be a good few years between the chexual encounters. in addition, I think if you’ve known someone for 10+ years and you’ve been friends ONLY for more time than you all were actual cut buddies then I would say the friendship takes precedent over the former cutting.
but like you said earlier Peyso–I trust YOU, I don’t trust them.
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ironically, i was just the “former booty contractor” that was in town. she initiated a meet for drinks.
i was unaware that she was in a relationship until we actually met for drinks, but as soon as i found out, i immediately felt like my time was wasted and that she was inappropriate for suggesting the meet in the first place.
i kept it cordial, nothing happened. i now know for my sake (and her bf’s sake) that the next time i’m in that situation the convo will go like this:
her: hey you’re in town we should meet up for drinks
me: unless you plan on being “injected”, i’m gonna have to take a “hell no” for 500 alex.
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Don’t start nothin’, won’t be nothin’.
I don’t see this as a trust or an insecurity issue. I see it as a respect and readiness issue. If I respect and love my partner then I’m not spending face time with men I used to be intimate with, period. If I’m ready for an adult committed relationship I’m not wasting time talking to/texting with old, dusty dyck.
I’m ok with the once in a while check-up to make sure an old friend is still alive. But most of us have at least one ex that we KNOW to stay away from.
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InsomniaPoet Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 10:21 am
LMAO @ “old dusty dyck”
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Slim Jackson Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 10:22 am
I’m also LMAO @ “old dusty dyck”.
I like what you said about this not be a trust or insecurity issue. Makes complete sense in this context.
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My thing is whats the point? I dont keep exes around becuase really it serves no purpose. And i always think “how would i like it”? and i wouldnt so i dont do it. I think people do this for a ego boost. I dont mess with women who keep a gaggle of exes around.
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Another thing to note – ladies and gentleman, please don’t play like it’s cool for your SO to chill with the ex if you really don’t want them to. Just (wo)man up and let them know the truth already. If they head out after you let them know you have a problem with it, then that’s on them.
All that happens is you’re pissed when you could’ve prevented it and then it’s used as surprise evidence for future arguments. No bueno.
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ASmith Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Oh yes. THIS is the truth right here.
Be real about how you feel. Otherwise, you’ll be taking one for the team all the time with no reward and no purpose.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
Hopefully she won’t be taking it from the team in the mean time if dude doesn’t man up….
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Seattle Washington Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
S M H.
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Nick_L_Odeon Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 12:54 pm
i didn’t read Seattle’s comment before posting my own.. but you, kind sir, speak the truth!!
my ex would be all “i’m alright”.. then months later, i’d get the crap thrown back in my face.. and it could’ve been set off by something like “are you gonna change shoes before we go out”..
i had to set up a rule, “if you don’t talk about it when it happens, you forfeit the right to bring it up later..” and now, that’s how i am with everybody.. #thatisall
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i’ve never been in this situation before.. so everything i write might change when the right man comes along.. i’m not sayin “don’t hang with her..” BUT best believe she is gonna know about me.. we’re gonna meet, or SOMETHING!! i’ll draw the line at people calling the house after a certain hour.. there’s a line to certain things and behaviors.. i’m not mad at her, i’m mad at him if he doesn’t know where to draw it… i can’t control anyone, but if my significant other said something about my former plumber.. i’d do my best to make him comfortable about it.. and depending on how he shows his feelings about it, then we can discuss a compromise..
if everything is “above board” then my friend should have no problem with my man coming along (if that’s what he wishes to do).. i might be delusional.. but don’t say “we’re just friends” when all you wanna do is walk down memory lane.. that’s a negative..
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Good points n sh!t, to previous statements.
This happened a while ago to me, with the now fiance. We have mutual friends in common and old boy, who liked me in the past (feeling not returned and expressed and accepted by him), came over to my apartment to play some Harry Potter Scene It? game. I told the bf about it and he blew the hell up. Didn’t understand why. If dude and I are just friends, what’s the issue? He contended (is that a word?) that I was wrong for letting him in to MY home because I knew he had feelings for me. At one point. 3 years PRIOR. I told the bf that he was wrong for 1. telling me who I can and can’t have in my house, when he paid no rent; 2. not trusting me around a male friend that we BOTH knew and 3. not trusting me PERIOD. That argument lasted about three days before he calmed down and apologized.
I’m the chick with male friends. Some of them have been FWB, but most have not. The few who’ve gone back to just friends after FWB are people who are important to me, and Fiance knows said history with said people. At this point, he trusts me. If I have to think about hanging out with dude, then its probably best that I dont go.
And co-sign on the “say something now, or forever hold your peace” tip. Let’s all be adults here and KIM.
this blog has me not doing my work and sh!t, good thing I have training in 15 minutes
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Peyso Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 1:43 pm
Former suitor in your home to play Disney Scene It? Let me guess he brought some wine too? Wow.
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Capricorn Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 3:16 pm
No, no wine.
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max Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 1:54 pm
I’m with Peyso. Just – wow. And your SO apologized for getting angry? Wow.
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Capricorn Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Does the fact that it was at 3 in the afternoon change anything? Really, there was NO sexual ANYTHING involved, tried, hinted at, etc.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Here’s what I have to say to that –
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eplbDbp6XJQ
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Slim Jackson Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 1:59 pm
“And co-sign on the “say something now, or forever hold your peace” tip.”
You probably know which part of this I’m going to say pause for…
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele LLC, Now Federally Funded Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
“Does the fact that it was at 3 in the afternoon change anything? Really, there was NO sexual ANYTHING involved, tried, hinted at, etc.”
Heeeeeelll f*ckin’ no! And he apologized? Man, f*ck that. You should apologize to us for him apologizing to you lol
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max Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 7:53 pm
RIGHT?!?
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Peyso Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 5:02 pm
I think this is the perfect case of “Just because this isnt something that would make me upset, my ex shouldnt be upset either”. I dont think you’re seeing that you completely disregarded your SO’s feeling. It was something that he wasnt comfortable with. I really dont see how playing some wack DVD board game at 3pm was worth hurting your SO but maybe i’m the only one that thinks this way
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i would like to point out that i laughed hard at this part of the post.
“And if you’re wondering, nothing in particular happened to inspire this post.”
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Slim Jackson Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 1:57 pm
As I said before man, gotta throw those disclaimers out there.lol. Don’t need the gmail inbox lighting up with requests or twitter folks coming out the wood works.
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Since I’m feeling a little attention-starved today….I FINALLY figured out how to get a picture on here. YEAH ME!!!!!!
*skips off to enjoy the rest of this GORGEOUS sunshine!!**
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I know I’m late as hell, but I’m bored at work reading this sh*t and just… wow. I only have a few things to say because I’m actually thinking on this one (I’m the girl with the male friends my boyfriends always hate).
1. It is all about knowing who you’re with. If you’re with someone who is the type to be really uncomfortable with you hanging out with old bedfellows (or females), then cut that sh*t out. Wtf you wanna talk to some old archived a$$ for, ANYWAY? Platonic friends are different, but cut buddies… I’m sorry, if y’all f*cked that sh*t changes the game forever.
2. Women believe this too, to a certain extent, but I KNOW this is damn near gospel for men: there shouldn’t be sh*t another man can offer you that YOUR man can’t. (I have actually had men tell this to me. I don’t necessarily believe it… but it’s what they say, so I’m sharing.)
3. Platonic friends… meh. I have platonic friends that I would never do anything with (and 85% of them are gay so that sh*t isn’t really much to be proud of) but I also have plenty of platonic friends I could definitely see myself smashing if times got tough. It’s a sketchy situation.
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