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Grow A Pair, Vol. 1
Softer Than Gerber's
I used to love MTV mainly because they push the limits of their programming every chance they get. During my teens MTV was all about redefining sexuality. While my dad’s generation stared googily eyed at the original Foxy Brown in a tight leather outfit, my crew was watching MTV’s Spring Break as countless bleach blonde Bettys, brown haired beauties and the occasional chocolate milkshake performed in some wet T Shirt contest in Cancun. And you can’t forget the classic Real World episodes where they featured the lives of seven nymphomaniac 20 somethings trapped in one house. Amazing what you can get away with when you’re on cable.
Now it seems like MTV is focusing less on overt sexuality, somewhat… not really, and moving onto redefining a new arena – masculinity. I tuned into MTV to catch up on Run’s House the other day and saw a commercial for a new show called Bromance. The name in itself deserves a giant PAUSE. But it gets worse. It’s a show where dudes compete in challenges to be some cat’s best friend. If that’s not questionable enough, the guys are doing all this for some dude from the reality show The Hills. Brody Jenner.
Really? C’mon. I rolled at the antics that some dudes and ladies went thru to win over Tila Tequila, but I couldn’t hate too much. At least they were getting some pseudo porn star, not-so-famous MySpace booty out of it. I know some guys that would’ve been right there fighting lesbians for just 10 minutes, or 5 min depending on how excited they were, with Ms. Tequila. However, these guys are competing to be a dude’s best friend. A dude. And they’re straight. And so is he. I don’t get it!
Maybe this is a sign that I’m old now. I know the androgynous look is back, with the skinny jeans and tight shirts. OK. Everyone’s got their trend. I know women are becoming more independent thus challenging a man’s role in today’s society. OK. I understand, things change and we need to find that fine line of domineering and sensitive. But, competing for a dude when you’re both straight? Nah son. Call me old school. I remember a time when you didn’t give two shits turds what the next man thought because he was just that, the next man. Furthermore, the only fighting done was for your boys, not over them. I’m growing tired of this skin tight jean, dudes half naked holding hands, uber feminine, singing kumbaya bull…
I’m climbing to the nearest mountaintop, holding up the Sacred Book of Man Laws like Lion-O clenching the Sword of Omens and asking these cats to Grow A Pair Homie!
Seattle – I Got Two Spaldings Right Here – Washington
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This is some real talk. The age of men waxing eyebrows and man-bags is getting out of hand. How can we expected the little boys out there to grow up as real men when their getting mixed signals from society?
If you something to carry your sh*t in, get damn briefcase n*gga!!!!! Man-purses and all types of wrong ish…smh.
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temps Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
Well didnt women in the 90s (some of em were mothers with sons) run around saying they wanted a sensitive man, when that blew up they went for the thug, that blew up too so now its the metrosex dude. I aint blaming women or anything but I find it interesting that with the amount of DL in the hood and womens mixed messages of thug/nice guy-”corporate thug” the metro sex guy is another result of trying to “equal” everything while keeping the perks of the “old system” in play. Back in the day a nice pair of shoes and a button up, slacks, groomed and smelling good was all you needed. Now I see dudes matching their phone holster with their outfits and dude got one for every day of the week.
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I’m really trying to find an excuse/alternate perspective for this type of behavior, but I guess I’m still a yardie at heart. This shit has got to stop. I blame the french.
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Actually, if you want something to carry, here’s my shopping bags (that you just filled) Just KIDDING!
I really don’t know if MTV has ever truly been the compass of which we should use to become the thriving adults we truly are.
But if this here…”Bromance” foolishness DOES NOT STOP and SOON might I add …. in twenty years it’s going to be even worse than it is now.
Good Day all….
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Bromance is a pain to watch and MTV is definently doing the MOST. When I found out LC made 75k an epi I was done with the Hills.
Also a lil OT but what’s the fascination with that gay guy who sucks on the popsicle (simulating oral) on youtube…he got dudes saying they would f*%$ him. This ish has got to stop.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 10:16 am
I haven’t seen this fellow that you speak of sucking on a Popsicle. I’ll be sure to not check that out.lol.
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Peyso from the Brook Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:05 am
them dudes are ghey
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I don’t follow The Hills show, so I assumed when I heard the title “Bromance,” that it was a show like the Tila Tequila only for gay men. I didn’t realize it was for men trying to be Brody’s best friend. That is very, very strange to me. The Paris Hilton show was bad enough. In fact, all of the real world spin offs on MTV have been pretty painful to watch. It’s pretty obvious these people sign up to get their face on TV, not because whatever terrible concept the show has.
Speaking of terrible MTV shows, have you guys seen Next and Parental Control? While I admit sometimes I get caught watching an episode or two when I’m eating dinner…is it just me or to the people say the same thing for the most part? Same corny lines, no matter who the person is in the “seat” of the “nexter,” or the child whose parents hate their bf/gf, or the obnoxious bf/gf.
Yeah, I’ve come to the conclusion I’ve outgrown MTV. My addiction the last 5 or so years is ABC, I’m guilty of following Greys Anatomy, Desperate Housewives and shamefully the Bachelor.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 10:15 am
I haven’t watched MTV in years. I was reading about the new season of Real World and my stomach started bubbling.
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tha ga peach teach Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
yea…I thought the same thing…after watching for about 5 mins I thought “these dudes must be gay” and changed the channel…
I can’t see anybody fighting/competing to be someone’s friend, male or female…but the fact that these perfectly arched eyebrows, waxed from head to toe, spray tanned, jeans so tight I can see the package guys are doing it makes the show too weird…
Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking this!
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yes… Bromance is a hot mess. I hardly watched The Hills, so I don’t get why this Brody Jenner is so cool anyway. I def don’t turn to MTV for reality shows. (Well I take that back… I still like to watch Real World and the RW/RR Challenges). As a matter of fact, I’ll admit that I like to watch the VH1 reality shows like Rock of Love, Real Chance of Love, and Charm School. I admit that these shows are also pretty stupid, but I find them to be completely hilarious. As for this Bromance business, I have to cringe… seems pretty wack to me.
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Steph Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Yeah I admit I was into I love New York, Rock of Love and all of that, but the Real Chance at Love and Charm School got to be a little too much for me. I don’t blame VH1 and MTV for capitalizing on America’s obsession (or is it the whole worlds obsession) with reality TV. But some of that was just WAYYYY too much. Especially Charm School, it’s humiliating to watch the way those women act and present themselves.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Did y’all see the Charm School knockoff with the dude’s that got rehabilitated? Gs to Gents?
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
I actually like G’s to Gents, only to the extent that some of those men really needed help to turn their lives around. Don’t judge.
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I like G’s to Gents too…brothers all suited up yummmmmm
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Steph Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Yeah I also liked G’s to Gents. They seemed to take it slightly more seriously than those damn women from Rock of Love/Flavor of Love.
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Yeah Whatev Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
Yeah, I am totally tuning into Real World: Brooklyn. Looks like it’s going to be worthwhile.
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temps Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
It’ll be shot NOWHERE near a real hood, they may be in the Stuy but the Suty is gentrified now..not that its sweet but it aint my hood East New York the only whites you see are cops, firemen and teachers! They will shoot more or less in Park Slope, Williamsburg, Carrol Garden, Clinton Hill and of course Fort Green but they aint coming nowhere near ENY or Brownsville (home of Mike Tyson)..they may hit up Coney Island since its gentrified up nowadays.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
I heard they’re staying over in Red Hook.
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I haven’t watched MTV since MTV Jams went off. Ain’t nothing on there for
“us”me.Reply
Seattle Washington Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:27 am
There isn’t much on BET either, lol.
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Jac Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Sure isn’t! I liked the show that played love song vids…forget what it was even called. Eh, we don’t sing love songs anymore though jus about b!tches and h#oes and how naggas ain’t sh!t.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Oh, I’m very aware of that fact. BET = Black Exploitation/Embarrassment Television. Is TVOne still respectable? Does it even have a chance? ::sigh:: Whatever happened to The Box? Anyone rememebr that?
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Peyso from the Brook Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:49 am
The Box is still on but who has regular TV anymore. TVOne is gonna be ok, as long as they only show black sitcoms and such
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:49 am
“Whatever happened to The Box? Anyone rememebr that?”
Did you forget how my mind operates?
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Cheekie Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
I mentioned The Box here a while back and YES of course I remember it. That used to be my LIFE when I was a kid. They’ve been playing Crucial Conflict’s “Hay” on the radio a lot here in Chicago recently and it took me BACK. I remember my then 4 year old niece knew all the words to that song which is a damn shame and hilarious at the same time.
Wait, it’s still on? I remember they replaced it with MTV2 or something.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Now that I think of it, you’re right, Cheekie: The Box was bought by MTV and turned into MTV2. At any rate, I can vividly remember sitting in front of my TV, phone in hand, running up momma’s phone bill requesting ish like Candy Rain, by Soul For Real. Ahh those were the days.
**Let it be known that The Box was started in Miami…just thought I’d throw that out there.**
@Slim – smh
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I think this show has to be thee gayest display of “manhood” I’ve ever seen. seriously??? Even the preview to the show, “Bromance is a relationship between u and your main go to guy.” WTF is that??? So we have to go even deeper than being “friends,” “homeboys,” etc. now?
I am a Hills watcher but only for the awkward stares and the fashion… I love fashion so will watch anything where cute clothes are involved.
Brody is a Hollywood Thug who should be put into the depths of Compton for a day… see how he’d survive.
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ChokLitFacory Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:32 am
I tried to watch Bromance the other day, since I am a confessed reality-TV whore, and it was horrible! One scene had a dude breaking into tears cuz he missed his fam. Him and Jenner ‘bonded’ on that. LOL a mess!
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Tears??? National tv? That’s pretty freakin sweet. LOL
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Reign Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:40 am
I hated the Hills after the second season, but I’ve gotten into The City. The fashion is to die for. It’s like an inside peek into the high fashion world. loves it.
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ChokLitFacory Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Nahhh tried watchin The City as well, but I don’t think Whitney has a soul…
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ife1love Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
*shock* *gasp*
I love Whitney
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
that must be that inner bougie White girl you were telling us about.
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I am a huge fan of the Hills (and Brody’s little cute for a white boy self). But when I saw the ad for this show, I was like “You have got to be kidding me?” What grown a** heterosexual man is going to be down to participate in this? Competing to be somebody’s friend reads worse than “gay” to me. It actually seems more pathetic than anything else.
Grow a pair, indeed!
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Yesterday I saw a young dude with his bottom lip pierced. And he was trying to be a lil thug.
Him and his crew looked softer than Charmin.
Anybody else see this new trend?
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ChokLitFacory Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Don’t Weezy have his bottom lip pierced??
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:46 am
I didn’t know about the thugs and lip rings… although it is s3xy for a rock type guy.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:53 am
I heard Weezy was dropping a rock album. So maybe the lip ring was a rite of passage.
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BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
YO SW aka Starbucks…
You are sooo right with this one. I work in Times Square and I’m just shocked at what the youth is sporting nowadays!!!
I was highly applauded by the name of this show. BROMANCE!!! WTF is MTV doing. Matter of fact this new generation of MAN!!! Call me old fashioned but it seems like a demasculinized generation. WTF!!?!?!
I bet if we were back in our high school days and someone brought us a crystal ball with it showing young males wearing skin-tight jeans, florescent colored clothes, sporting man bags and having a show called Bromance, I think some of us males would say did the whole male race become bottiboys/anti-man?!?!
Charmin nation IS softer than baby shit…
Peace in Bahgdad & Gaza
-BBW
(Note: slim fit and skin tight are two separate. Slim fit has more room for the bollzack area as compared to skin-tight which is just a scrotum nightmare…why do it to yourself man!!!)
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
I have a feeling it’ll be just like the dudes in the West Coast in the 80s. They’ll rock this uber feminine clothing, spend quality time with their girls at the hair salon and then suddenly things will flip and baggy jeans and gangsta rap will be back. Maybe another year of this, 2010 a change will come.
I’m waiting for the second coming of NWA to shake things up.
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Yeah Whatev Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Yeah, I agree with Seattle. Seems the 80′s fashion recycle is still underway and hopefully on it’s way out. I’m ready for the mid-90′s recycle to come back around. Gangsta style dressing for women will finally be back in style! Women could rock Poetic Justice style box braids or fingerwaves, baseball caps, door-knockers (still), super baggy overalls with tubetops, and construction boots again! I’m so excited!!! I would also like to see those SWV style eagle talons come back in style. LOL.
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I think it’s interesting that this “sensitive is cool” trend with guys is blowing up at the same time the independent woman movement is blowing up. Oh, how things change.
I think this post is the perfect place to admit that I do follow The Hills (the fashion is the best part!). I love crappy reality TV period. Just for the ridiculous-ness of it all. The Flavor of Love family of shows alone is pure bliss (I never got into The Rock of Love, though). I am glad that I’m aware enough not to take it seriously. It’s always fun to
lose a couple of brain cellsentertain myself with stupidness, then switch to something thought-provoking like MSNBC or some mess.Reply
I had the same reaction when I saw the commercials, so suspect. you would never see straight ninjas talking about a bromance.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:42 am
There is a brother in there competing for Brody as well. Just thought I’d throw that out there…
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Reign Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Honestly not every brotha is a brotha… i’m just saying
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Here’s my two cents…
First let me openly admit that I Stan for the Hills and The City (I love Whitney!!!). Yeah, I said it! I really really like the Hills. LC and her best friend Lo remind me of me and my besty and they nurture the bougie white girl who lives inside of me
I have mixed feelings about this Bromance thing… On one hand I kinda like Brody Jenner and his friends because they remind me of the idiots I hang out with. They have tons of money and hangout in Vegas penthouse suites, vacation at sprawling villas in Cabo, and throw beach parties randomly that look like Corona commercials. I can see how a dude would want to be down *pause*, but I couldn’t take any man seriously who went on the show to “compete” to be a apart of the crew. I could however see MTV throwing easy $$$ at Brody and him agreeing to the show, even if it is called Bromance.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
1.) Where are said parties? If we’re both thinking about the same beer commercials, Slim, RightCoast and I will be in there like swimwear.
2.) You’re not alone. It looks like most of the young ladies here have a bougie White girl inside them. Pause.
3.) Everyone’s got a price, but damn, “Bromance” dog? MTV could’ve contacted a writer, ahem, to come up with a better title than that.
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Caribbean Cocksman Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
LOL…did you just call her a bougie white girl…on the inside? Funny on so many levels.
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ife1love Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
1.) I dunno, usually at some random person’s “beach house”. But I dunno if you can have more than one Six-Foot-Sexy black man in attendance at these functions they might put you through a Bromance mini-competition to see who stays and who goes lol.
2.) PAUSE
3.) Yeah the name is TERRIBLE and the show is plenty homoerotic. MTV actually plays that up, like when they did the first elimination in the hot tub… that was non-hetero.
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Caribbean Cocksman Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Looks like Seattle and Slim be competing…I’m five-foot-nasty, so I would qualify…I’m all over drunken slip n slide tho!
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Cheekie Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Oh, right, The City! I love Whitney, too. Even more fashion drooling than The Hills since it’s NYC.
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I have the biggest crush on Brody Jenner and MTV was (up until about 2 years ago) my favorite channel but I had to draw the line at Bromance. That is gay as all f*@#. That is all.
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I’m glad I cut off
no they cut offmy cable. TV is the new church…here we are yesterday b*tching about how we want a manly man and now men want to compete for another man’s affection/attention???!!! Brody needs Jesus!!I’m curious to see how long this type of show is in rotation.
I wonder if this whole androgynous fad is coming about as a result of the absentee fathers and low marriage rates within our communities?
Or like Seattle said maybe I’m getting old..but shoot I don’t want to see a man’s legs!! Ladies how many of us are looking 4 a man w great legs?? NOT ME.. and how do your boys breathe in dem tight jeans dayum…no room to adjust the package- that ain’t right.
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ChokLitFacory Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Some don’t need all that room tho I guess…
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Yes, I too was thoroughly disgusted at the promo of this proposed Bromance show. Badman nuh frien dem type ah ting deh. We could go on and on about all the plain whack and horrible shows that are being produced, but their really seems to be an assault not just on manhood but on traditional gender roles. Which, ideally might not be such a bad thing, but the idea of a bromance…sounds like they go to the men’s room together to touch up their mousse/activator (yep, activator…let that SOUL GLOOOOO)
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T.V. is the Devil (so my G’ma says)! Speaking of “growing a pair”, I’ve got one question:
What the hell is the deal w/guys rocking tight jeans and then sagging them? Why not buy baggy jeans and wear them on your waist? If you wear your jeans like this, I know you’re most likely not as tough as you act and there’s 90% chance you have no burner on you, so in reality you could and should be slapped!
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Yall already know how I feel about manliness. I haven’t watched MTV literally in months, but I know that as I see dudes on the street wearing jeans tighter than mine, I am first concerned about the logistics, and secondly, I have to wonder, “Why?.” Smh.
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Seattle, I hate to break it to you, but gangsta sh*t is not coming back. We’ve already seen the last of the real G’s. Jay, 50, and Nas wear suits and 2 of them are in wedded bliss. Lil wayne has a lip ring and is a guest on espn. Kanye is the loiue vitton don. Diddy is seriously one of the top 20 designers in the world, if not higher. Ice Cube is doing family movies.Katt Williams has a perm. Snoop has a tv show. The Game (rapper) is clearly a homo. It is no longer profitable to be gangster. The milk’s gone bad. Unless Obama shows up to his first briefing wearing a du rag, sagged khakis and chucks w/ a dutch in his ear, young’ns will be wearing pants. Don’t try to understand dude. Face it, you’re old.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
But… Uhh… Errr…
Eff it. Yeah, you’re right. Put the jersey in the rafters. I’m going to the bar.
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Yea welcome to the club.. I got my rude awakening early last year when montell jordan’s “this is how we do it” (is that the actual name of the song?)came on…I was the only one dancing…sighhhh
But i have no regrets I do not want to do any of it again…forward march
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Caribbean Cocksman Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
See…not the club. The bar. Not as noisy and you could watch a game or something.
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
But i like to bubble….u cyan bubble at a bar..or can I?
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ladebelle Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
it’s so sad but so true… **sigh**
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temps Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
If it was that easy….go to Camden, Yougstown Ohio, Detroit, Philly or Atl City…and of course B-More places like these which arent as big (nor culturally important) as NYC or LA have no where to “hide” this movement. After all where is 42nd st in those cities? They dont have a Village or Venice Beach to get their weirdo on, and even in the NYC, Chitowns and LA’s that hardcore element is STILL there, in my hood, East New York you dont see the trend as hard as you do say in Crown Heights or on 14th St in Union Sq
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Honestly … I just don’t believe it. I truly can’t and won’t believe that there are a bunch of straight guys to be friends with some other B-star guy. The whole Paris Hilton BFF thing was stupid … but it was girls and she is ridiculously rich … meaning you will be laced.
My head hurts …
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ladebelle Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
i think he’s more like a c lister… he’s like a nobody… i mean, he’s kim kardashian’s step brother and kim is a c lister too… her ass is like b lister but that’s as close as they get to the top
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man… bromance… this is what the already lame ass reality tv makers have come too…
i thought it was lame when people were competing for paris hilton’s friendship but this is taking it to a whole nother level. i’m convinced that non of these people were loved as children and they will forever be vying for the attention of others… **smh**
but me, i love myself waaaaay to much to make a dayum fool of myself on national tv for someone i’m not even getting any from… just a huge no-no.
no offense to any readers that subscribe to the adam and steve or adamette and eve, but that ish is just uber homo
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tha ga peach teach Reply:
January 7th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
I concur…
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I was so happy that MTV thought to make such a bromantic show, it brought a little tear to my eye…
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