We Hate Crappy Heart Candy Day
Sowhatiff – I’m allergic to Cupid and his stupid arrows – Jenkins
Valentine’s Day is dumb. Even when I was in a relationship, it wasn’t something I was too stressed about. Its annoying on all sides. A woman will get all excited and mushy at the hopes of this big romantic day, then pissed if her boo didn’t get her a lot of “sentimental” or romantic gifts. Men get all annoyed because they have to pretend to be lovey dovey and often get nothing in comparison to what they give. The amount of PDA is OD. Couples who are never really cute and cuddly all of sudden want to be all over each other in the streets. Can she have her face back please?
I think there shouldn’t be a just one day labeled for commercial love and affection. If you are in a relationship, you should have lots of Valentine’s Days throughout the year. If you aren’t, ah well. Love yourself. 
Slim- I’m a Terrible Boyfriend 362 days of the Year- Jackson
Valentines Day makes me wanna binge drink my way through it. It’s caused more trouble and stress in my life than Christmas and birthdays combined (The other 2 days when I’m a “good boyfriend”). I hate knowing that whatever gesture or gift I provide to Boobear Cuddlesworth is gonna be compared to what her girlfriends received. This is the only time I enjoy dating a girl who has single miserable heffa friends. It’s the one time where they’ll say “At least you got sumthin girl.”
What’s good with men getting a day? Is it that much to ask for just one day?! You’re gonna tell me that unless I skeet in sumthin and produce a seed that there isn’t any special day for me to be treated other than my birthday? Eff Valentine’s Day and its cousin…Wedding Day. They can both leave town on the crippled donkies they rode in on. I’m outta here!
Seattle – Let’s Celebrate Steak & BJ Day – Washington
As my cohorts have mentioned, Valentine’s Day is a made up holiday folks. It’s not in the Bible, Qu’ran or Torah. And I don’t remember God saying, thou shalt buy your potential boo or wifey some flowers, gifts, tennis bracelet, spa treatment and/or dinner on this day or thou shalt have your piece fall off. Hallmark, jewelry stores and candy manufacturers conjured this day up to combat the mid year slump. And like a bunch of suckers, we give in. Well y’know what, I’ll let it rock for you ladies out there. I know how important it is to you and if I’ve learned anything over the past few years, it’s that compromise is the essence of every sound relationship. Yep, you can catch me with flowers and candy in hand. That is, if we dudes get our holiday too.
Steak and Blowjob Day takes place on March 14th of every year. Don’t believe me? Check out the site or join the Facebook group. It’s a national movement. And not just by the fellas either. There’s a lot of female support. Hehehehe. So if you want us to go all out on D V-Day, then on February 15th you better start preparing for the best fake national holiday ever!
Have a shitty, chalky candy, cold food, packed restaurant, bad present, wilted flower holiday,
The Salty Three Ways Crew
54 Responses to “We Hate Crappy Heart Candy Day”
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I feel like Valentine’s Day is for those who are shacked up, about to shack up, or are sleeping together casually (but the girl wants to shack up). Anything else is purely superficial. However, if your boo-ski wants to show you some love, they can do so on the 15th and you both can reap the benefits of post-”holiday” markdowns.
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I agree on the superficial nature of the day, however, it did have some meaning before big business took over. They took the anniversary of a man’s life and turned it into a pink piece of crap holiday!!!
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V Day Sux… it’s a holiday designed to make single folks feel alone.
*** as I cuddle up next to my medium Pizza Hut pizza with extra pepporoni, cheese, and sauce AND a horror film ****
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yeah im not a fan of v-day either… maybe celebrated it once, and even then, it wasn’t as great as other people make it out to be.
for me, feb 14th is Single Awareness Day…. works for me!
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Co-sign Miss V!!!
Happy S-A-D day tm lolllllllll
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Let me just say this post is hilarious!! I am also anti- the infamous hallmark holiday, Valentines Day!
It’s a day of anxiety, frustration, disappointment and so on. I have this theory that there are 3 types of women on valentines day.
1) The woman who wants the cliche treatment ie: card, flowers, candy, spa treatment, jewelery.
2) The woman who just wants you to do something romantic, spontaneous, from the heart and doesn’t care about the $$ attached to it
and
3) The woman who isn’t sure what she wants but 99% of the time is disappointed with whatever her bf gets her.
The bigger problem, women tend to not tell their bf what they want, thus making him increasingly frustrated and anxious and allowing for a holiday sure to disappoint.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Steph…I love you. What are you doing tomorrow?
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Steph Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Love ya too, Slim.
I’m spending it like any other saturday, with friends
)
Why, ya want me to come out to Boston so you can shower me with v-day crap? LOL
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I’ve always wondered why we place the weight of our WHOLE RELATIONSHIPS on ONE DAY. I guess because my sweety is good to me all the time, I’m not stressing how we spend V-Day. I mean, we are acknowledging it this year but it’s nothing to stress or make a HUGE deal about. Really folks, it’s just a day.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Word. Boos need to appreciate each other all throughout the year.
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God Bless Steak and Blowjobs day. T-BONES AND DEEPTHROATS FOR EVERYBODY!!!!
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 11:36 am
o
m
g
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Everybody?
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RightCoastLexSteele, Still No Longer Dating Black Women Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
E’erbody!
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Cheekie Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
I’m imagining going to a restaurant and the waiter/waitress asking, “And how you like your steak…and BJ?”
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Ziggy Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
lol Okay this comment did it for me, back to work I go!
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I’m interested in where the women are who actually participate in VD Day cuz i know you’re out there being mighty quiet today or else this fake holiday would not be going strong in this recession. ¶ i for one have never celebrated the holiday regardless of relationship status cuz i think my future hubby should appreciate me every day of the year. And steak, corona, and bj day will be every day in my house. I actually think that, like VD Day, should just happen regardless.
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Reign Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Amen to that!
Me and my sweetie partake in all of the above all year. I just want a night chillin, he wants to go out… it’s the VDay crowds that are going to put mein a bad mood.
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I must be on the rag, because my sentimental side has been popping out all over the place this week.
As usual, ya’ll are all funny…and you make very valid points…
Yes, we know its a made up holiday…yes, we know that we may not be “that way” 364 days of the year…but in the noisy confusion of life…isn’t it nice to have a designated day — an alert in your blackberry telling you to relax and appreciate this other person….JUST for today? I think anything that takes us out of ourselves for a moment, and allows us to focus on the other…is a good thing.
I dunno….I’m not mad at Valentines day. I am also willing to support Steak and BJ day for the fellas.
LOL
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Robin Monique (formerly Skinny Black Girl) Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 11:11 am
Right. It’s like your birthday. Of course you should celebrate EVERYDAY that you’re alive, but it’s nice to have a day set aside specifically to celebrate certain things. The problem is that we (as a society) exaggerate the importance of holidays to the point that they become a source of stress instead of celebration. I’m all for acknowledging V-Day (or not if that’s what suits you) but I’m NOT for obsessing over it until it makes you miserable (single or involved) because in the end, it’s just NOT THAT SERIOUS.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 11:13 am
“but in the noisy confusion of life…isn’t it nice to have a designated day — an alert in your blackberry telling you to relax and appreciate this other person….JUST for today?”
I’d agree if the day wasn’t geared toward women and the Moment of Truth for a lot of relationships. I am mad at Valentine’s Day for all the strife it’s caused for me!
Oh, I did get a real thoughtful gift a few years back. I actually hung on to it for like 1-2 years cuz it was so good even though I wasn’t with the person anymore. That’ll make 1 good Valentine’s Day in the last ehh….6 years?
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DeeLittle Reply:
February 16th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Man, Valentine’s Day was “the moment of truth” for you in a relationship?! That’s messed up! Who are the girls that some of y’all are dating? They’re nuts!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 16th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Why are so many women sounding surprised by “the moment of truth” like it doesn’t happen regularly? I’m amused. Seriously.lol.
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I’ll be at my biweekly spa treatment on Saturdays. I dont need some dude to play himself and try to get me some wack shit. I normally dont celebrate paegan holidays and V-day is no different. Those corny ass balloons,cards and candy save someone else. Give me something I need like…. a money order for Sallie Mae or Con ed. LOL
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Ziggy Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
“Give me something I need like…. a money order for Sallie Mae or Con ed. LOL”
Amen to that!
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Oh, Valentine’s Day. My friend always refers to it as VD. And you know what that acronym is also and more disgustingly used for.
I’m sorta indifferent on Valentine’s Day on theory. I mean, it was cute when we were kids and got those el’ cheapo V-Day mini cards with Mickey Mouse heart suckers taped to them (those were the bomb!), but now as a grown-up, it takes on two emotions. Miserable for not being booed up or elated for being booed up. Or those can be interchangeable of course. Actually, even as kids, there were those miserable paste
sniffingeating kids that didn’t get any V-Day cards because no one liked them and/or were weirded out by them. Sad.I can appreciate V-Day because I do like how it makes people feel special. Though, I do agree that I’d probably feel more special if I got a romantic gift on the fly, pleasantly surprising me instead of on a day when I’m <strike?threatening to kill a ninja who forgets the day expecting something anyway.
Also, I am NOT a supporter of females only getting something for V-Day. Yeah, I know ninjas don’t want no flowers and candy, but there’s so many other things he’d like. Like OUR flowers and candy.
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What’s good with this notion that VDay is only for women? I mean sure every Kay commercial you see is the man getting the woman something shiny. But every all-purpose cleaner commercial you see is a woman being SuperGermKillerMomLady. Doesn’t mean men don’t clean. And it also doesn’t mean women don’t show their dude with just as much love on VDay. Dudes that think VDay is only for women just haven’t been with the right women…or at least not the thoughtful, 50/50-thinking ones…
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
That’s a nice idea, but in practice, V-day is pretty much geared towards women. Yeah, men get stuff, and they clean too, but the marketing of both are geared toward women. We get all toasty on the inside (pause) when we see those Kay commercials…I’d imagine that most men just sigh and change the channel.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
“I’d imagine that most men just sigh and change the channel.”
Yep.
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ife1love Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
I’ve seen plenty of women have damn near a nervous breakdown trying to put together a good V-Day for their honey. I just finished counseling my stupid co-worker who bought her boyfriend a $450 home entertainment system and was freaking out cause he might not like it.
There are a lot of women out there that make this a 50/50 holiday.
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MaPockets Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
I’m with you on that one, ife1love. I’ve seen several women go nuts and spend tons of money trying to get the perfect gift or plan the perfect day (…I think I just put myself on blast. Maybe?). But on the “geared towards” tip…sure, that’d apply if you said it about Mother’s Day…that it’s geared toward women. I get that. But Mother’s Day is just as much a retail holiday as VDay, and most people still celebrate it. And if your mom didn’t get that card/gift/phone call/spa treatment/whatever, you know she’d be a bit hurt, even though she knows you love her on the other 364 days. So why not think the same way for VDay? Why all the bitterness? WHY? = Like I said, depends on what kinda man/woman you’re with. I’d let that argument fly if I knew upfront that a dude had been with nothing but selfish, Veruca Salt “I want it now”-kinda chicks. But I still think that when men claim that they hate VDay because it’s only for women, it’s just a salty way of singing the “no one’s ever done anything special for me on 2/14 before, so let me hate” blues.
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ife1love Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
A hi-five and 6 Kool-aid points for the Veruca Salt reference LOL!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Mother’s Day vs. Valentine’s Day?
How can you even compare those 2 days? Mothers’ Day is commercial and all, but I think Mothers definitely need a special day to be honored/cherished/treated because it’s so easy to forget a lot of the stuff they’ve done for you over the years. I don’t talk to my mom everyday or see her daily, but that’ll probably be the opposite with wifeykins. I look forward to Mother’s Day actually. I like doing stuff for my Moms on special occasions because I don’t get the chance to everyday. Valentine’s Day requires you to do even more than you should already be doing for a person that you see or communicate with fairly regularly.
And don’t you be talkin’ bout my momma!
Momma’s Boy Slim
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MaPockets Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
oh PLEASE.
I’m sorry. Mother’s Day is JUST as commercial. It doesn’t matter whether you see her everyday or not. So then: what you do if you’re married/booed up and you guys have a kid together? Are you sayin’ you won’t/don’t celebrate mother’s day cause you see your boo everyday then? Psh. Mother’s day is also an excuse to do for someone what you should’ve been doing all year, whether you see them everyday or not. The same way you can give wifey a “just because” gift, you can send moms one too.
And I love your momma too! Tell her I said hay.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
The Mother of my Seed is also my significant other. It’s a double whammy. Of course I’ll do something special to acknowledge her firing out my genetically superior spawn and making it to the grand prize of putting a ring on it. And at that point, I’ll be entitled to Father’s Day and Steak and BJ Day. It’ll be a bit more balanced…at least in my mind.
Valentine’s Day is still booboo butter. Let’s agree to disagree.lol.
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Yea…definitely not a fan of V-day by any means. Besides being a ploy by the consumer market to make us spend money between Christmas and Easter, it’s an excuse for not-so-romantic/I never do anything throughout the year/I’m awful at giving gifts type folk to come out the woodworks with some BS.
I once dated a guy who was like that. He bought me chocolate and a teddy-bear that he sprayed with his cologne. Now, while that may seem romantic to some, it was mad cheesy to me. 1) I rarely indulge in chocolate. 2) I’m not your typical “girly” girl, so that teddy bear did nothing for me. Yea, I said “aww” and the effort was appreciated, but for Christmas he bought me a Harlem Globetrotter’s jersey-dress (really?!), and for my birthday a thumb drive (64mb…what was I suppose to do with that? store one notepad document?). Clearly, the whole lubby dubby gift thing was out of the norm, so those Vday gifts took me for a loop. The point is, I’d have much more appreciated a random gift, not given on a Holiday/Birthday, that was meaningful in some way and “just because.”
At any rate, tomorrow I’ll be home playing video games and sippin on some wizine. Here’s a great article for all you Vday haters: http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/02/11/martin.valentine/index.html
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MaPockets Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Red or white? OOH. It’ll be VDay. Go for a ro-zay.
Also…I loved that article when I 1st read it! “Don’t be my Valentine.” LOL!
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Am I the only fan of white wine on this site?
Sauvignon blanc???anyone??? lol
Anyhow Nyela G I too will be sippin the fine wizine lol
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
You boughie ass women and your boughie ass wines. I will be drinking a 40 and watching
Lifetime moviesthe NBA All-Star festivities.Reply
Cheekie Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
When I first started drinking wine, I figured I’d like red more…but once I started on that Kendall Jackson Chardonnay (my Mama’s fave), I realized my taste buds favored the white vino.
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
40′s are not good for you, thats the gut rot of the alcholic fam!!!
…also makes for better conversations.
hard liq & beer- make me go to sleep
Wine is the drink of champions…u get all giggly and “productive”
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Cheekie Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
“Wine is the drink of champions…u get all giggly and “productive”
…also makes for better conversations.”
Word, BT&T. And with wine, you’re a sexy drunk. Not a sloppy one. I mean, the glass you’re holding is sexy in and of itself…and the affects are so soothing and sensual*.
*Don’t think this includes cheap vino, though. lol
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MaPockets Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Hey, I’m a fan of both the vino and the 40. Maybe we can have a 40 tasting party, or maybe even a 40 pairing party…you know, hot pickles, funyuns, Slim Jims, pork rinds, and other corner store delicacies.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Idk, MaP…I might have to go all out and get that Chianti Classico Reserva: Banfi Vineyard, of course. 2006 vintage, is it? I mean…it is Vday and all. Psh!
B&TT, I like my share of Dr. Loosen on a sweet day or some Kendall Jackson Chard (i c u Cheekie!) when it’s raining…but other than that, I’m all about reds. Don’t usually rock with the Sauv Blanc, though.
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Ok…I think i have my groccery list for tm…I’m usually a Woodbridge girl (I luv Cali wine)..but I’m a give Kendall Jackson’s Chard a chance…see if he can hang…
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I actually like V-Day. Yeah…I can admit to it. There’s only two times that Valentines day is shitty. 1st is if you don’t have anyone, and no prospects. You spend the afternoon playing Halo with your homies, with everyone trying to act like they’re glad they don’t have a chick to be spooning with.
The other time is when you’ve got a chick that you don’t feel like taking anywhere…which begs the question, why are you with her then? That’s just me though, being a sugar daddy in training and all. Spoiling a chick is fun…as long as she makes sure every day is steak and blow job day…
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I HATE Valentine’s Day! HATE IT, HATE IT! I am bitter, salty and all the above.
When I was like 5, 6, 7, yrs old I loved it. I would drive my mom crazy searching through People’s (throwback!) looking for THE cards I wanted to get. I loved going to school and passing them out and trading candy w/ friends… then things went terribly wrong.
Suddenly around like 5th grade it became a competition. There was always those one or two girls who got all the cards. Then there were anonymous candy grams of which I never got one figgin one ever!! By middle school there were girls walking around w/ flowers and mylar ballons… UGH!
Like the T-shirt I will be wearing out the bar says: “Valentines are for Pussies!”
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Throwback indeed- Oooo I hate candy grams!!! I never got any…
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Cheekie Reply:
February 13th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
And they nasty anyway.
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Yeah I agree with all three persceptives about Valentine’s Day. I’ve never really been a fan. I tell you what though. March 14th will be getting circled on my calender. Steak and a blowjob. A win-win. lol
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Actually, I like Valentine’s Day (or Singles Awareness Day as I call it). I’ve always been single on V-Day. Back in the day I used to hate it, but eventually I realized it’s not just about romantic love. It’s about showing the love to everyone around you: family, friends, the less fortunate, etc. Yesterday me and my home girls had the best V-day ever and none of us were involved. V-Day has become so commercialized, and I think that’s what makes some people hurl at the thought of it. Oh well V-Day shouldn’t have to be the only day to show the love. It’s a 365/24/7 thing.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 15th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Thanks for the comment. I’ve definitely never thought about it in the context you described. I did see a few messages yesterday about women being out with their friends and not with a dude. I thought that was kinda interesting.
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Although I didn’t have a “Valentine” this year, I think it’s okay. To me and others I’ve talked to, it can also be a day for friends or family (if you’re a girl of course, because guys doing that is wack, whether gay or straight). And it’s not all made up. Look up the story of Saint Valentine. There are a lot of different versions, but I choose to believe the one in which he’s killed because he secretly wed couples. Now in honor of him, people have a love fest on Feb. 14th. However, I do think that Valentine’s Day has nothing to do with how much you love a person (for some, it could). You need to be a good boyfriend/girlfriend more than 3 days out the year! LOL
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Oh yes…and in Chicago, we have something called ‘Sweetest Day.’ It’s like a turnabout dance…V-day for guys. At least, I haven’t heard about people in other cities celebrating it. It’s mostly for kids, but I’m sure some adults do too just to be wack. Guys, you all should band together and make this ish global!
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