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Homosexuality and the Black Community
Before opening this can of worms, I’ll ask the readers to be respectful with their comments and have an open mind. Like everything else on this blog, we ask for all perspectives. After all, that’s what Three Ways is all about.
Seattle:
Like a lot of things in our community, we’ve danced around talking about homosexuality for years upon years. We here at Three Ways are guilty of it as well. The topic has been brought up in the comments by the readers and the authors, but to be completely honest – I wasn’t sure how to tackle it. I needed to get a handle on how I, not my boys, parents or coworkers, felt about it before I could truly address it and in turn open it up to you. And in a community where saying you’re OK with homosexuality is as much of a Scarlet Letter as coming out itself, I’ve been quite apprehensive to write about this.
I work side by side with gays and lesbians everyday, as most of us do, but saying that I’m comfortable with their personal lifestyle gets the side eye. And in a community where “no homo” and “pause” is said as frequently as “the”, it’s not really a surprise. Not to mention the other culture I’m born out of screams “burn all di bati boys” when the slightest mention of homosexuality is brought up. And to be completely fair, this did affect my perspective for awhile. It took me a second to not be surprised when my gay friends/coworkers said they were going to see their boyfriend or girlfriend after work.
It’s only been recently (late and post-college) that I’ve been friends with several gays and lesbians. Not out of choice, but of circumstance. I never met any peers of mine that were gay. Or at least out of the closet. But after college and now that I work with and am cool with members of the LGBT community, it just reaffirmed my initial thoughts that people are people. It may be reflective of my nonchalant attitude, but I could care less what the next man or woman does as long as it doesn’t affect me. Who am I to judge or scream on the next person because of their sexual orientation? But then again, that may go back to my attitudes regarding religion. If God made of all of us in His likeness…
But this post was less about my thoughts about homosexuality and more about the fact that we finally acknowledge what’s going on in and around our community. More so, to start dialogue on this micro level so maybe it’ll flow over into your other conversations. The down low brother phenomenon, which I have a large amount of contempt for, is a direct result of our refusal to talk about the issue. As is the spread of AIDS and HIV.
Slim:
You’re absolutely right Seattle. It is something that needs to be talked about.
For as many Black people out there that are on the down low or trapped in the closet, there’s an even greater number of people who’ve embraced their homosexuality publicly. I’ve become much more aware of it over the last couple of years.
I was in Miami for Memorial Day last year with the fellas. We were on the prowl on the beach doing what 20 something Black men do…prowling for them sexy lady thangs. Some of us were shirtless since it was like 90 degrees and it was a beach…and we had only done bench press, curls, and sit-ups for 2 months prior to the trip. We were casually walking through the sand and noticed a group of about 5 Black dudes of different shades and dimensions looking at us and smiling/giggling. At first we were confused, then we realized they were exhibiting the same behavior we hoped women would display so that we could go talk that smooth talk. We all looked at each other and agreed to call a spade a spade and kept it moving. To each their own. We did scurry away quickly though.
A few weeks ago I was in Burger King and saw a chick with a rainbow belt standing next to what I thought was a dude. I assumed she was just into colorful stuff and grabbing food with her man. They walked out close to each other and the dude turned out to be a woman. Also in this same restaurant were a few extremely fashionable men with skinny jeans, shades, and ultra designer shirts. One could easily assume they were metrosexual or just heavy into fashion. The flimsy wrists and high pitched voices led me to confirm otherwise. Even still, it would’ve been obvious when other homosexual males walked in and greeted the extremely well-dressed dudes that were waiting for their food. I took a look around the restaurant and realized I was surrounded by homosexual males. Was I uncomfortable? No. I didn’t think I’d be the victim of a serious game of ass grab. Was I surprised? Yes. At that point, I realized that Black people were becoming more comfortable with their homosexuality. Times are steadily changing.
I’ve been subjected to computer screens displaying naked men (at work of all places) and I’ve repeatedly had men hit me up on Myspace asking to hang out. I’ve went to their pages and saw they were from ATL or some other notorious city and noticed all their top friends were males with shirts off and brolick. Maybe this should have been a compliment for me? Oh well.
As I said about 200 words ago, to each their own. As long as people (particularly men) are willing to extend me the common courtesy of not overly displaying their lifestyle, I have no issues with what they do in their spare time. I’m not God, so who am I to judge. Do I think sexuality is a conscious choice or a genetic trait? Sheeit. Don’t even get me started. That aside, what do the Three Ways readers think? As Seattle prefaced, let’s keep it clean and considerate. We like traffic to our site, but not the hateful kind. That’s not a good look for anybody.
Coexisting for Financial Reasons Only,
Seattle – Messed Up That I Now Have To Qualify that I’m Straight – Washington
&
Slim “Do I really gotta block this dude?” Jackson
29 Responses to “Homosexuality and the Black Community”
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I’m back and forth with my homophobia. In HS around 2001 it seemed like everyone was coming out the closet and experimenting it seemed like a fad and I was very phobic about the females, didn’t even want them to look at me. But over the years it has become so common place that I’m okay. People are people, you are who you are.
But I think it hurt most when one of my closest girlfriends came out saying that G was just her home girl from school. I was hurt. She was like a sister to me. Notice I said “she was.” She said she was just going through a phase and she still wanted to marry at man and have more kids but it’s been five years and her and G have been living together with their kids for 3 of those 5. I was cool about it for awhile until I ran into them and my friend was pissy drunk and tried to hit on me. Literally too close for comfort. That was it. Haven’t really spoken in over a year.
Never had a gay friend, just guys that I thought were suspect… but just grew up around a lot of women *side eye*. The black community I’ve seen over the years has become more excepting, women more so than men, especially the younger generations. But I have a lot of male friends that don’t mind but say if one of their boys come out the closet then it’s over. I can understand that.
(funny how all the google ads on the page are for gay and lesbian sites, lol… doing it’s job huh, not sure how many clicks you’ll get today)
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I got some gay friends. they cool, but i’m gonna be honest with you they aint spendin the night at my house. Me and some of my niggas have slept in the same bed (pause) head to foot of course w/ our backs to each other. But I couldnt feel comfy doin that with a person who may or may not want to have sex with me, if i didnt wanna have sex with them. I wouldnt let a really ugly chick sleep in my bed either.
I cant say that I agree with the homosexual lifestyle. However, that does not mean that I will or should treat ppl who choose to live that lifestyle any differently. I have many friends that choose to do things which are much more socially destructive, yet we dont come down on them. We dont come down on ppl lie, cheat and steal. Hell, Chris Brown but to have a come back from beating a chick but we’re not gonna come down on him as hard as we come down on some of our homosexual brethren.
However, the one thing that I cannot stand is when ppl act like the other sex. If you a boy, you shouldnt be switching. Non negotiable. That makes my stomach turn over. I can accept a gay man b/c he is in fact a man but a dude who acting like a jawn really grinds my gears. I feel like God may have had made you gay but he aint make you the the sex. And I know that we should be trying to buck the trend of adhering to gender norms but men shouldnt switch when they walk, its anatomically unnecessary. Women shouldnt grab their crouch when they walk, there is nothing their to adjust.
So bottomline, I think being gay is a sin. And I am going to think this until the debate is settled about nurtuve vs nature. However, it aint no more of a sin then some of the other shiznic we tolerate from our heterosexual brethren and I would argue that in most cases the shiznic we accept from straight folk is so much more fu(ked up then a mere homosexual relationship. So in the words of the prophetic Jay-Z “Let’s stop the bull$h!tting. ‘Til we all without sin, let’s quit the pulpitting”.
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Cheekie Reply:
February 12th, 2009 at 11:48 am
I gettin’ a kick out of the many changes to Peyso’s name. Now this mofo is using an anagram. Loves it.
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I give this article 2 snaps and a neck roll. 3 words: fa-bu-lous! What is most impressive to me, Blaine, was the brotherly affection and acceptance I could feel between the two manly authors of this blog entry. Reminds me of my first love.
Sorry, got a little nostalgic on this one.
Real talk, it makes me happy to see two straight black men take a stance on homosexuality that isn’t judgmental or ignorant.
I do think some proportion of homosexuality is just a fad, and that’s whatever. But for people who (I think) got their attraction to the same gender from nature and not society, we need more men like you who are just like “whatever” about it.
To each his own. And no, I didn’t relinquish my Bible hugging tendencies over night. Acceptance is the way of Christ. Despite what some of my religious affiliates want to convey. Pat yourselves on the back.
Loved it!
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Cory Reply:
March 7th, 2011 at 7:48 pm
I completly agree.
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sadly, i don’t have some deep and profound response to this right here. i agree with you guys entirely and appreciate your attitudes and views on this topic.
as a straight person, i have a lot of gay pride. not cuz i want to be or condone homosexuality but i think it’s beautiful when people are unapologetically themselves-whatever that is…
great post guys
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I work in an industry where it’s “cool” to be gay, well as a male anyways.
I live in a city where it’s legal for gays & lesbians to get married.
Despite this I do not have any close openly gay friends. I have a few suspect closet ones though.
For the most part, I am supportive of their lifestyle, they are human, they have love in their hearts and as long as they are not hurting anybody, it’s all good.
But to be honest I am still uncomfortable with gay PDA, and extreme fabulousness. I haven’t gotten used to it. I will stare or make a face- I’m sorry.
If anyone of my friends of family were to come out of the closet I’d be behind them (pause) 100%, and I’d use the opportunity to learn more about this part of our community.
I also have a problem with DL-ism…learning about this has me ultra paranoid when meeting new men. I will never accept this lifestyle and to not admit you are gay/bi-sexual when you’re on the DL makes me want to get violent.
FYI- I’m receiving my daily 3ways fix as normal..thank you Slim
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 12th, 2009 at 11:09 am
“FYI- I’m receiving my daily 3ways fix as normal..thank you Slim
”
In Tony the Tiger voice: Greeaatttttt!
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I don’t think this deeply addresses homosexuality in the black community, but I’m grateful and pleased to see this topic being discussed intelligently.
Living in ATL I would say that it’s pretty major down here. I work in a club on the weekends and we often have “gay nights” Mainly for the men cuz the ladies didn’t have large enough crowds.
But I noticed a few things. The stereotypes about gay men are way out the window. Of course the feminine types are still prevalent, but gone are the days where you can tell by looking. That’s a good thing, cuz no matter your sexuality, I still appreciate men who act like men and women who act like women. Sadly though, the black community is very hostile towards the gay community. I do not liken the struggles of the gay community to civil rights, but I do understand that they too are heavily discriminated against and often violated.
But this homophobia has driven DL men to stay that way, and that tears up relationships and does extreme damage. THAT’s what I have a problem with. In the other thread, I professed my Christianity quite strongly and I stand by that. But I know that I serve a LOVING God, and no matter your sin I am to treat you as my brother and love you. So while I do not condone homosexuality, I cannot ever look down upon who someone loves as long as it is sincere as in any relationship. I could go deeper, but I’ll *pause*. LOL
I know religion plays a major role in people’s behaviors when it comes to sexuality, which is why I bring that up. It’s quite a cop out though, and as a Christian it does make me mad to have my faith used as part of an agenda to tear down other people.
Black people have a long way to go in understanding and opening our arms to the gay community. Once we do that though, I *think* we’ll see a better shift in the family, and just our overall camaraderie as a people.
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Glad you’re tackling this, guys. And perfect timing, too! Especially Seattle, since you mentioned part of your culture. I just read the Essence (with Ms. Halle on the cover…March 2009) article about Homophobia in its most extreme case in Jamaica. I’ve always knew about it in general, but dayum that article was jolting.
It really pains me just how unaccepting my fellow brothas and sistas are of the GLBT community. I understand the religious thing, but when it comes to civil rights, you’d think people would be able to sympathize. Why would an oppressed group turn and oppress another group (a group that is still within their group in a lot of cases)? Those Prop 8 results that showed a significant decrease in Black support in comparison to their support for Obama (who forever touted change) really hit hard. Because as I said above, they are a part of our community. As if we didn’t have enough of that “divide and conquer” BS riding us with other factors (i.e. the many shades of our skin, to name one), we can also add sexuality to the mix.
ETA: Oh wait…ok, so we know males use “no homo”…so anyone heard any females say any variant of that like, “no lesbo”. Cuz, I never have. I mean, I know why, but just wondering if any members of the P-Power Posse uses qualifiers like that.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 12th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
I wrote a post referencing Proposition 8 and sexual orientation qualifiers like “No Homo” a while back. It’s light-hearted, but still worth a read for those who haven’t seen it.
http://www.threewaystotakeit.com/hip-hop-vs-proposition-8/
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
February 12th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Oh Jamaica!!!….it’s funny cause they so homophobic its become a joke… logon, Step pon chichi man, bun batty bwoy..it’s crazy…yet i will dance…I’m sorry I’m still a work in progress…I luv my dancehall..
What’s even more funny…I’m convinced they started the whole skinny jeans madness and a lot of gays show face on passa passa-type vids, make-up and ish on they faces…whoy!!!!
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RightCoastLexSteele, Still No Longer Dating Black Women Reply:
February 12th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
“Mi cyaan believe mi eye…”
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I, too, have a problem with men/people on the DL. The way I see it, it’s rank selfishness based on an individual’s needs to fulfill his/her (women are on the DL, too) socially expected “heterosexual” role, while fulfilling the fancies of his/her fantasies. It’s just unfair. It’s unfair because it’s lying and cheating. And it’s unfair because it involves some gay shit.
Look, give me the choice of whether I want to continue to be involved with a person who dates and, more importantly, has sexual intercourse with same sex partners. The cheating aspect of the activity, whether it’s homosexual OR heterosexual, just exposes everyone involved to disease-ridden nastiness.
Then, in terms of homosexual cheating – I desire a man who is indeed a man. If you are remotely attracted to other men, then that means you’re not really attracted to me. Ultimately, you like what I like, and that, to me, just completely emasculates any gay man no matter how straight he looks or behaves. Now you’re not date-able to me; we can be nothing but friends and, depending on the degree of your dishonesty/honesty, we might not even be able to be that. Again, give me the choice. Be honest. And you can be as gay as you want to be; I ain’t wit it.
Is being gay a sin? Hell, I don’t know. I don’t think gay people are going to experience damnation any more than anybody else. In general, people ought to just be ASHAMED of the sinful things we do. To be mean and cruel, unfair and unjust, downright discriminatory, and murderous even of people solely based on their sexual orientation is no good. If you do it “in the name of the Lord” or because the lifestyle is not “Christian”, do you honestly believe God is waiting to bring you to Glory and give you a big high five?
If you are gay or bisexual, do you. When you are dating, though, give your partners a choice by being honest and up front about who you really are.
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
February 12th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
More DL updates…I am hearing stories of straight women who allow and participate with their DL husbands/boyfriends in 3somes. This I strongly believe is a sad attempt by weak women to keep face in society and “keep their man”….just thought I’d share that…
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
February 12th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
Or maybe she’s just a freak like that…
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First, let me say I am very impressed to see this post come from the men; very nice way to open the door on this conversation. While I commend yall for addressing this topic, I have to take issue with a couple of things yall said.
First, Slim…
“As long as people (particularly men) are willing to extend me the common courtesy of not overly displaying their lifestyle, I have no issues with what they do in their spare time.”
When I read this, I get the impression that you are merely claiming not to judge and be okay with the situation but you aren’t. You made it a point to say you are okay with people’s sexual practices as long as you don’t have to see them. I wonder do you feel the same way about heterosexual PDA’s? What about girl on girl since you direct the comment men in particular. Would you be offended if your homeboy wanted to use your apt, car, etc to bag a girl? Probably not. Would you let your gay friend do the same with his boyfriend?
This is a major problem I see with many straight black men, they are not really okay with homosexuality. They claim to be okay with it, or they have no problem with lesbians, but let a gay man walk by and they still judge. I think saying this is just a copout. Don’t be afraid to be homophobic, or discriminate. If you don’t like it, then hold your ground and say you don’t like it. But don’t claim to be tolerant when you are only tolerating it as long as you don’t see it. That is like the racist who only says the N word in the house, you are still a racist.
Next, Seattle…
“It’s only been recently (late and post-college) that I’ve been friends with several gays and lesbians. Not out of choice, but of circumstance.”
Why wouldn’t you choose to be friends with a gay and/or lesbian and why do you feel the need to designate that any relationships you currently have with either were beyond your control? This one statement implies you are not in favor of homosexuality at all. How can you claim to be open to the lifestyle if you cant even just say this is my friend Joe. Not my gay friend Joe that I met through work?
I hope you guys (Slim & Seattle) don’t feel like I am attacking you. I just wanted to ask you guys some challenging questions from what I took away from your post. I used to be the main one condemning homosexuality and it took me a long time to realize true acceptance takes more than just saying you accept something. If you are tolerant of others behavior, but still don’t condone it, that is the first step (probably the biggest) step, but there is still a long way to go beyond that step.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
February 12th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Hey Ms. Poet, no I don’t feel like you’re attacking me at all. Good question.
Perhaps you misinterpreted the way I wrote that statement. As I stated later in the same paragraph that you quoted, “I never met any peers of mine that were gay. Or at least out of the closet.” It’s not so much that I’ve been forced to have these friends, it’s that I now have friends and coworkers who are gay because I have the opportunity to do so. It wasn’t that I chose not to have friends of the LGBT community, I just didn’t know of any before.
Oh and I’d never introduce any of my friends as my gay friend X. That would be the equivalent of being the token Black guy. And I wouldn’t want someone to go thru that, I’ve been there.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 12th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
@InsomniaPoet
I don’t feel attacked by your comment. I was hoping people would go in this direction, since this is a matter of perspective….
I think there’s a difference between tolerance, acceptance, and 100% support. I also think people have different comfort zones. I don’t like it when heterosexual couples are making out in front of me. PDA in general can be overdone and gross me out. Lesbians making out can in public can be just as unpleasant. I’ll admit that 2 men making out in front of me will cause more umm…discomfort. And at this point, it’s just my instinctive reaction. I’m tolerant. I accept that people are going to love who they love, and I tolerate the public display. But I don’t have to force myself to be extra comfortable with anything…particularly PDA like making out.
If I watch straight porn and it gets me riled up but the mere sight of a gay pornographic image makes me run for cover, I don’t think that makes me any less tolerant. It’s just my preference and my instinct. We don’t like certain things about our significant others, but we tolerate them cuz that’s just who they are. I think the same can be said for people with different sexual preferences. I’m trying not to contradict myself here, but answering your complex comment is a post in itself.
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Joey Reply:
February 12th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
I actually don’t like public dispays of affection no matter if it’s gay or straight. My brother is gay and when he and his boyfriend kiss or whatever, it gives me the creeps. But then I realized that’s because I come from a very non-affectionate home in which I probably saw my parents kiss like 4 times in my lifetime. And when I did see it, it made me shudder. So then I realized I’m most uncomfortable with PDA period. And having it be 2 men is just weird cuz I feel like 2 men don’t even look right kissing. Seriously, when 2 women kiss, both women are like sensual and like soft, so it doesn’t freak me out as much. But men are like rough and dirty to me so it just takes something that already bothers me and makes it dirtier. I dunno. Random thoughts.
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I too applaud the stance and tone of this post.
While homosexuality is something I can’t wrap my mind around, I don’t not judge, and have to stop myself when I try to understand what makes a gay man feel the need to switch more than a runway model. Its not for me to know.
We are all God’s children, and as long I don’t get hit on, I’m good to go. I can’t say that I’d rock a rainbow anything though. My support stems from within.
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Have been a lurker for some time but this topic hits close to home for me so just had to comment. Its one thing to accept people as they are from a distance and its quite another when the person is close to you. In my experiance it was with a cousin who came out to me at a very early age (around 14/15), I must say it was quite a shock to my system having to wrap my head around such a hot topic at such a young age however once I realised that he was the same person as he was before I knew and that all he wanted was my acceptance I came to understand that humans are exactly that humans regardless of sexual orientation and no amount of fear or prejudice should stand in the way of treating homosexual people with the same amount of dignity and respect as heterosexual people.
Loved the article but I do have a question as to what this meant:
“As long as people (particularly men) are willing to extend me the common courtesy of not overly displaying their lifestyle, I have no issues with what they do in their spare time.”
The way I read it is that there is some acceptable standard that homosexual men have to adhere to in order to not make people uncomfortable, surely homosexual men (and women) should be free to express themselves without having to walk around on their tippy toes? Does that not go against the whole stance of the article that they are just the same as everybody else, so why have different rules for them?
P.S love the blog keep up the great work guys I really enjoy this blog.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 12th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Thanks for your comment!
The quote you sited is a general reference to my thoughts on public display of affection even though I didn’t mention it there. As I noted in another comment, I’m fine with people doing what they do…but I don’t need to see anybody making out ferociously in front of me. And of those that would do such a thing, men doing it with each other would cause some level of discomfort with me that I can’t help but to feel even though I accept their relationship preferences.
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I was having an offline discussion about today’s post with someone. Is the issue of homosexuality more a concern for women at this point simply because of the DL implications or is there more to it?
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
February 12th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
I have already expressed my dislike for the DL lifestyle..that’s my only issue…not sure about the other ladies….
But what about the men…..Do y’all have an issue with Transgender men who live their life as women and attempt to date straight men?
It’s a lot harder to distinguish btw an actual woman and a tranny..there are hip & butt injections……..just curious…
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niasmomma Reply:
February 12th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
I think before the whole DL concept, women had opinions about male homosexuality, but it was not until we realized that all gay/bisexual men don’t necessarily play by the rules, tell us the truth, and therefore have infiltrated what we previously thought was only a straight man’s domain, we have to now consider all angles and it makes us angry, afraid, and confused.
Growing up I thought a person was either gay or straight. Gay = likes the same gender, straight = likes the opposite gender. The lines are so blurred now. THEN, when you compound that with the concept of “metrosexuality” (which, by the way, I think is airbrushed, subliminal, borderline-flaming homosexuality) it’s really confusing. I don’t want to have to guess, you know?
A man who gets his eyebrows arched is suspect to me – sorry. A man who is all into facials, new beauty products, “man bags”, “man gloss”, and high shine top coats on their manicured/pedicured hands and feet? Suspect. Skinny, low rise jeans with a tapered leg on a man? Suspect.
I understand I’m presenting stereotypes, which further illustrates my point. Aside from the stereotypically gay male behaviors/appearances we know about and have internalized, women now realize that some of the guys who invade OUR heterosexual fantasies with their masculine, straight features/appearances (the athletes, the firemen, the UPS men (lol)) might be getting some side dick, too, and we’re concerned. And rightly so.
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InsomniaPoet Reply:
February 12th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
I think the DL argument is just another way for people to try to excuse their prejudice against the homosexual lifestyle. If a person in a relationship steps out without fully informing the other party to the relationship it is wrong regardless of where he is stepping to. Let me explain, do I care if my man cheats on me with a woman or a man? No, I care that he cheated and put my life at risk. Is it more dangerous just because his extracurricular behavior is with someone of the same or opposite sex? No, we all get STD’s. Maybe I just hold this belief because I think I have impeccable gaydar. A man could never exhibit homosexual stereotypes and still be a homosexual, or he may be super sweet and just grew up under his mama but loves women. Either way, a person’s sexual practices doesn’t change anything about the person’s character. In my opinion DL brothers are just shady individuals who probably lie about other aspects of their lives too.
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I want to applaud you guys for opening the discussion.
This post strikes a chord with me because there’s always been a rainbow so to speak in my life. It’s a part of my life I don’t get to talk about much because of the homophobia I often encounter. I come from a long line of hags (fag hags for those who are unfamiliar with the term). My grandmother’s only sibling was a gay man, my mom and my aunt have too many gay friends to count, and I have a fairy god father, a Wil, and my besty has decided she doesn’t like labels but for now I’ll just call her bisexual.
I always amazes me how out of touch so many people are with LGBT issues and the LGBT community. I really upsets me how ambivalent people can be about things like AIDS/HIV, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the Solomon Amendment (5 bonus points to anyone else who knows what that is w/o looking it up), Gay Marriages/Civil Unions, Transgender issues, and on.
I’m a big believer in what Audre Lordes said, that “there is no hierarchy in oppression”. In justice anywhere is injustice anywhere. I not only tolerate but I support and consider myself a part of the gay community. It’s a community just as rich and diverse as the Black community and I wish people would just move past stereotypes and just see people as people, no matter who they decided to sleep with.
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Very interesting post. I tip my hat to you guys for tackling this issue head on. Opening the dialogue is sometimes a very powerful tool–especially on uncomfortable issues that many of us would much rather ignore away or sweep underneath the rug. If adults can’t genuinely talk about something, the chances of us ever finding a real solution is slim to none.
I especially loved that you didn’t get caught up in the “right vs wrong” distraction (as with most things, the answer is relative, depending on whom you talk to), but instead chose to confront the issue in an open and honest way.
Great post. I will look forward to checking back later and reading the dialogue in the comments section.
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