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How I Tell People to F*ck Off
I’m feeling kinda ignorant and childish today. Sh*t, I wasn’t even supposed to be posting anything this week but I had to rise to the occasion like a certified mega-driller. As many of you probably know, I’ve had a tumultuous last couple weeks. I’ve been a creative writing machine, but people are avidly against me posting what I have in the queue because well…I’d complicate my life. When messed up things happen and I wanna spazz out, people always tell me to take the high road. Okay…f*ck the high road! Sometimes you just need to tell people how you feel. So for today, I’m going to list my top 5 ways to tell people to “go away.”
6. Go pound sand you ass dweller
This one is typically reserved for men and women who I think are just complete pieces of fecal matter. It’s also fairly appropriate for the work place if it’s a sales environment. I’ve heard people talk about pounding sand before and I still don’t get what that really means, but it’s something I can say with a smile on my face.
5. F*ck Off
I usually have to preface this one with “Yo seriously…” It’s reserved for nags or people that give their 2 cents where it doesn’t make sense for them to give it. It’s usually said with a scrunched side-eye face and/or mean mug.
4. Go touch yourself
A pleasantly effective snide remark reserved for women, since their attitude in my presence usually has something to do with a lack of adequate blasting offs. Not appropriate for the work place or with sensitive people that think it’s a sin. Actually, yes it is.
3. Bye-B*tch-Bye
It’s actually very rare that I say the b-word. If I’m telling you good riddens it’s with good reason. I will say this with a smile, while waving, and anticipating that you’ll trip as you walk away. If I’m saying this, it probably means I came out the victor of whatever confrontation provoked it.
2. Eat a Chocolatey D*ck
My new favorite as of the last week. If I’m really feeling myself I might add in “with some diseased cashews” for good measure. Only thing people can do is give you the wide mouth (pause) and try to come back with something stronger, but at that point they’re too befuddled to adequately respond.
1.
Sometimes I don't even need words.
If you can’t see the image from your email or feed reader. Come on over to the site. You gotta know what number 1 is.
That’s all I got for today. What are some of your favorite ways to tell people to “go away”? That really wasn’t supposed to rhyme.
If You Don’t Like Me, Bite Me…but Not too Hard,
52 Responses to “How I Tell People to F*ck Off”
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Don’t forget telling ‘em to KICK ROCKS!!!
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#1 **applause** #thatisall
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LMFAO! Love that prince walk away! Hahaha. I have a cpl people I want to tell this to..
2. Eat a Chocolatey D*ck
My new favorite as of the last week. If I’m really feeling myself I might add in “with some diseased cashews”
Good post!
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LMAO!!!
hey Slim, mind if I steal that Prince gif? might come in handy when I’m too pissed to type out my anger/disgust.
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I’m a big “go play in traffic” kind of guy myself
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BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 11:20 am
YES…me too lmao…HAHAHAHA!
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L. Dejean Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
Same here!
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LOL. This is great and I have 3.
For the hater in your face:
1.”Fall back off my life.”
Much like Ms. Roschelle”
2. “They can Kick Rocks.”
And after seeing The Other Guys last weekend:
3. “Aim for the Bushes.”
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I’m a fan of I hope you get slavery breathe. I also use fall into Rick Ross’s titty balls and boob*tchbye fairly often. Although with the Rick Ross I make sure people know who he is first.
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if we’re on the phone..
I say “Free my line” and hang up..
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PRINCE! Dayum is sooo sexxy! I just stared at that image for about 15 minutes…Adoore Youuu:-)
Uhum, oh, back to topic…yes, I just usually say something like “kiss my yellow azz”. LOL. But, some guy will usually like that comment…but, I still use it.
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I like the Eat a Chocolate man part comment, I get a little more explicit… “Go swallow some man juice”
yea its not lady like but if you piss me off, well you have it coming and should be lucky I kept it at words.
Can’t wait to Eff Em Friday…I got a lot of comments.
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I, too, am a fan of telling folks to “kick rocks.” In addition to this, my other faves include….
– b*tch bye!
– Go kill yo’self!
– Suck my d*ck, b*tch! I remember the first time I told a dude to do this. The look of shock and confusion on his face was priceless. lol.
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Please Excuse Your Significant Other Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 9:38 am
wow!! That last one is fighting words.
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BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 11:23 am
As for the last statement, I’ll be damned if a woman addresses me like that …LOLOL
It truly is a shocking statement tho…
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BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 11:24 am
Couldn’t the last statement also be an example of “penis envy” by the femmes in our pop culture? …
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Be On It Reply:
August 13th, 2010 at 12:10 am
Nah, not really. You go for the jugular, so telling most men [hetero anyway] to suck it is going to send them to the highest level of pissivity. Mission accomplished.
I happen to add “twat” to the end of that imperative, even though using women-related pejoratives defiles my womanist credentials. But some people just take it there.
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I try to keep it simple with my insults.
“I hope you get AIDS and die… But before the latter, I hope you fall in love. Pass the virus off to the love of your life and your offspring, have to confess to them that their lives are doomed from conception b/c you were a downlow brother and didn’t bring protection b/c than you would have to face the fact that you were really gay. Than watch them die a horrible painful death…. than also die yourself.”
I don’t shy away from topics people think are out of bounds.
“You know what? I was wrong. God does exist, and he f%c*ing hates your stupid @$$”
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Hmmm….I’m not sure if I have “standard” ways of telling people to f*ck off…
However I do use:
“Go kill yourself”
“f*ck outta my face”…..quite often, but I’ll always tailor it to the person I’m cussing out
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“P*ssyhole, go suck yuh mumma! Man ah bad man, yuh wa’an ramp wid me?”
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Mrs Smiley Face Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 10:13 am
Ouch!
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The Prince gif gives me life!! LOL. That man has enough disgusted faces for a room full of Antoine Dodson’s. Love it.
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#1 has slain me. #thatisall
and I need this list today for the other half.
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haul yuh skunt!
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Ladycakes Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 11:51 am
add a teeth suck and you’re my aunt.
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I prefer drink bleach and die or suck my (non-existent) peen.
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* Kick rocks in traffic
* Go… thatawayyyy
*Just LEAVE ME ALOOOONE *MJ Voice*
Slim #YouMad?
lol
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I’m quiet big on this one…
“Just drink a tall glass of AIDs and f*ck off!”
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I’m a big fan of “Eat a d*ck.” It’s very graphic and disturbing. Makes people think, why would he want me to eat a d*ck and not suck one? Fear Factor-esque.
I may have to add chocolate in there for future disses. Thanks Slim.
I’ve been known to look at someone intensely, get up and just walk away. That’s a crowd favorite.
One of the worst “f*ck off” comments I’ve heard was when some guy called another guy a “f*cking cunt rag.”
I cringed a little. The c-word is like an atomic bomb. Only used for special instances or if you’re Ronnie from the Jersey Shore.
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Yeah the number one is THEE best way. I want a ruffle shirt just so I can do that. And I HATE ruffle shirts. But, that look don’t mean sh*t without that ruffle flounce. Ya’ll saw that? FIERCE.
Other ways to tell people to eff off:
- Get thee to a nunnery.
- F*ck Off. And Have a Nice Day (this is my favorite cuss out…when they say have a nice day afterwards)
- Sit yo a*s down somewhere.
- You know how I can still see you? Do somethin’ about that. Thanks — Management.
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CHeeKZ Money Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 1:46 pm
“Get thee to a nunnery.”
That is a good one.
Its like saying “You need Jesus” and “You are too stupid to reproduce” all at once
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Lol at this post especially #1
My favorites are: FOH which I use at work regularly; go kill yourself; & my number 1 is just quit talking to me h*e
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My favs are:
1) Suck a sick d*ck
2) Kick rocks off of (insert bridge name here)
3) Kill yo’self
4) A string of curses that are contingent upon the person I’m speaking to.
I’m glad to read your post…i was starting to go through withdrawal! Great oost!
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L. Dejean Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 1:05 pm
i totally meant post, not oost! lol
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Haha. What’s with you and Max’s off counting? Anyway, cute list. Especially the chocolatey d*ck and the Prince. I have a few myself. And I list them in order of my favorites.
1. Eat sh!t [and die] – you can add the extra part if you must
2. Eat a d!ck and I hope you choke on it
3. B!tch, scram (or) Beat it, b!tch.
4. You’re still here? I thought I told you to be out
5. B1tch-B-Gone
6. N!gga please. http://2dopeboyz.okayplayer.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/ampffo.jpg
You have to click that picture.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
I initially didn’t have the pic in the post.lol. That was a last second addition so I forgot to change 5 to 6.
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Sukez Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 3:39 pm
Lol. It was funny because everyone is doing this “my top (insert #) list” and the list would be (insert # plus or minus 1) long. Always made me chuckle. But that Prince picture? d(^_^)b
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Some ya women are wild though. Telling men to suck their d!ck. I dont think ya know that those are fighting words. I dont hit women but I know some men who are ready to fight for those words. So be careful who ya all are inviting to your imaginary peni
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QueenT Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 4:48 pm
I don’t think I could ever say that….lol!
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
Trust me, that phrase was warranted at the time, and he was very, very angry. And I was fully prepared if he came at me. Trust. And it wouldn’t have ended well for him.
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much like You can say “Go pound sand” with a smile on your face, I can easily tell people with a smile to..
GO play in traffic
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As much as I try to control the words coming out of my mouth, there’s an occasional:
Shoo fly!
(Childish but said in a stern, adult voice it can serve it’s purpose)
B*ith Boo Bye, Heaux Have a Seat
(I think I just like saying this…It’s catchy said really fast and all ran together)
GTFOHWTBS
(Self-explanatory)
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Excuse my typos. This BB keyboard is giving me the blues. :-/
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(random) Since I’m taking a twitter leave, I want to use that gif as my icon. Lol you think it’s possible?
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I’m a fan of:Eat a D*ck/ Suck some salt B*lls
Drink Battery Acid
Go play on (insert major Expressway)
Stop breathing til I tell you otherwise…. is my go to phrase
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I am late but I wanted to say that I love this post and my boy Prince. Thatisall.
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I’m late, but I’m a fan of the deadpan stare followed by turning and walking away. I also say “you’re a waste of DNA” and “you’re not worth the tissue you should have been flushed with. Goodbye.” And, if a man really pisses me off, I tell him to suck it.
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If it’s a female, I like to tell them to “go somewhere and lick the p*ssy part of their panties.”
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 14th, 2010 at 8:26 pm
**gasp**
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I know i’m late..i’ve never commented on anything before..
I like (and use frequently):
-Stop Breathing
-Go to sleep and don’t wake up
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Well there all great honestly! but need more spice lol .
“You are living proof that a human can live without a brain”
” Yeah and im coming for you next” (Evil look in yours eyes)
” Tell that to your mum, she’ll think differently after last night”
” “yeah. ain’t it wonderful….now bend over bitch”
” Shut the fuck up u unevenly tanned tangerine”
“You are full of s*** it’s starting to seep through your pores”
”
“
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