The Basics of Woman
Last week, Seattle “Sir Manliness” Washington shared a few basic things that every man should know how to do. For the most part, folks co-signed, and added things to the list that proved that women love them some manly men. We don’t need him to go out and club our next meal over the head, but we would like for him to be in touch with his manly instincts and kill those bugs when they roll up on us.
Naturally, I have a response. There are a few things that I, in spite of my independence, believe all women should be able to do. Some of yall might get mad and think I’m setting us back. But you should know me better than that. If not, ah well.
Be able to cook something.
Look at how much fun they are having.
I’m no Gina Neely, but I do know my way around the kitchen. I know how to feed myself and cook stuff that other people like too. In this day of fast living, it’s easy to get caught up in ordering out, or popping something frozen in the oven 6 days a week. But for the long term, you better get in the kitchen and learn how to make something. It’s not as difficult as you think. If not eventually, all that sodium will catch up to you. And once you get a boo, do you really think he’s going to want to come home to Stouffer’s everyday? He may not say it to your face, but probably not.
Know when to be vulnerable…
Seattle’s post talked a lot about men being protectors and providers of something. It also seems like men like to feel needed for something other than the Vitamin D. As women, we have to do our part and know when to ask for his help. Be able to tell him you need him for something. Bat those lashes every once in a while. Yeah, you know you can provide for yourself and all that. He knows that too. But if he offers to help you, once in a while, you should let him. Ask him to open that bottle of wine, or put together that bookshelf even though you have your own tools. It’s okay to not be strong and independent all the time.
Yet know when to stand your ground.
That's right, girl.
A woman shouldn’t be a push over. She should be able to be who she is without letting the influence and desires of her friends, parents, or a man define her. You should be able to heed the advice of others without drinking their Kool-Aid all the time. Its good to be able to think and make decisions for yourself, based on what you want and need. It’s also good to know how to beat a broad down for talking to you or your peoples crazy. Get ya left hook game up.
Be clean.
As a woman who was raised in a home where daily and weekend cleaning was a regularity, its strange for me to see a woman’s home that is in all kinds of disarray at all times. We all have our moments when things are out of place. But you can’t be too good to put the gloves on and scrub a floor every now and then. Or climb up on a chair to get those cobwebs off of the ceiling fan. Along these same lines, please know how to use an iron and work a washing machine. I know women who have their clothes washed by laundry services. Not cool.
Put time and effort into your appearance.
She needs more pride...and material for her outfit.
At all ages, whether you are going to the gym or a black tie affair, a woman should always look good. You never know who’s watching. Take pride in how you look to yourself, and how others may see and perceive you. We have all seen those broads on the street who look like they haven’t seen their reflection in days. Don’t be her. Your hair should always look good, even if you need to rock that ponytail or a hat cuz you’re due for a relaxer. If you’re wearing flip flops or open toes, make sure those heals are moisturized and those toes look good. And trust, you can still rock sweats and a hoody, and still have folks notice how good you look (No Drake). It’s not (always) about what you wear, but more so, how you wear it. Keep it right and tight ladies.
Now these are just a few things I thought of. I know yall have more to add to the list. What are some things your mother, and pops even, always stressed about being a woman? Fellas, what are some things your folks told you a woman should be able to do, or pay attention to?
Ladies can be Gs too,
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Great post Miss Jenkins.
I am with you on the cleanliness thing… I am deep cleaning my house like every other week AND I stay my a!ss in the kitchen cooking one thing or the other.
I also believe hygiene is important…bathing I mean
although this should go without saying a lot of people are still gonna lacking in the area.
Here’s my little list:
-enough money in the bank to cover a rainy day (if she’s above the age of graduating college)
-the know how to nail a nail without necessarily asking for his help (or change a tire, put water in her car, patch a hole in the wall)
-the knowledge of how to be a friend and a lover…it’s a lost art due to sizing up and trying to be the man
-a chance to be the best woman she can be (true to her 7 year old self-which I learned from a great woman)
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theVixen Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Yea, i’m definietly agreeing with this comment. I hate a dirty house &&/or body. I am adamant about showering and hygience. My guy is always telling me I am too much on it && i’m always smelling so good but that’s how a woman should be!! My only problem is that i’m not a big cooker but i’ma get there eventually, all in due time. Can’t be perfect all the time at everything. LOl.
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Good post! I think that you covered most of what I learned from my mom and aunts. One of the things that I would add is to “allow yourself to be pursued”. I never saw my mother chase after men. They always flocked to her so I learned that it was ok to stand still and allow myself to be courted.
Also, to maintain your feminity at all times. It’s OK to play sports, be competitive in the workplace, enjoy masculine activities but never let a man forget you’re a women (i.e. bat your eyelashes, smile shyly and flip your hair every now and then).
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ASmith Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 8:54 am
I co-sign the pursue thing… I think it goes in line with knowing when and how to be vulnerable.
I know our society makes us think that if we don’t go out there and get that man we’ll be alone forever, but that’s not true.
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WithRainbowSprinkles Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:41 am
co-signing…i agree whole-heartedly
I believe women should try to maintain cleanliness at ALL times, not just when someone is coming over…this is something I know I can work on…
Also we can’t blame being “busy” on letting necessary things fall to the wayside…as busy, educated, and self-sufficient women we can get caught up in the everyday hustle and bustle…don’t ever let yourself get too busy to pick your pants off the floor, wash the dishes in your sink, take your behind to the gym (or living room or sidewalk), get your eyebrows done, keep in touch with your friends and have your own social network, etc…
And most importantly, do these things for yourself not for a man…
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I agree with all these, Ms. Jenkins.
I cannot stand a woman who proudly declares, “I don’t cook,” like it’s a badge of honor. Look at Kim (RHOA)’s kids to see an example of how your children will end up from eating fast food- OVERWEIGHT.
I’m working on my vulnerability. lol. I don’t quite have that down pat- I’m always trying to do it on my own.
Addition:
A woman should know how to get along with her same sex….. Some women brag about not getting with women or not having any women friends…..
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Anna Nimous Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 7:55 am
Nicki, there are few things that make me roll my eyes harder than women who are proud to not get along with other women. To me, you may as well say “I’m a difficult and exhausting scalawag who is turning the tables because I’ve been kicked out of the sisterhood.” lol! The woman who says this usually refers to other women as “broads” and “bytches”. SMH.
And yeah, there’s a difference between “I can’t cook.” (at least she’s trying!) and “I don’t cook”.
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OrangeStar616 Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 8:20 am
I say “brawd” ALL the time, with no nastiness about it, its just an expression from way back like Dame etc LOL…
And some women get along with most other women better than others. Sometimes folk act like women in general aren’t as catty as they are LMAO, some women have more of a tolerance for that than others.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 8:33 am
@orangestar616: Women can be catty- SOME… Those are the ones you stay away from… U know those before you even get into female relationships- the girls that gossip all the time, the girls that only call when you want something.
Those aren’t true friends and do not comprise ALL women.
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OrangeStar616 Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 8:51 am
Those aren’t even associates LOL
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Exactly. lol..
I have a girl like that around me though.. she’s entertaining but I tell her none of my personal business.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 8:59 am
I hate catty gossipy women….I call them broads. And the kind of women with stanky attitudes make me run in the other direction to go hang out with my XY friends.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Exactly!!
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 8:32 am
“And yeah, there’s a difference between “I can’t cook.” (at least she’s trying!) and “I don’t cook”.”
AMEN.
“To me, you may as well say “I’m a difficult and exhausting scalawag who is turning the tables because I’ve been kicked out of the sisterhood.”
And exactly.. I think women that claim not to get along with women were the problem in their former relationships with them.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:34 am
“The woman who says this usually refers to other women as ‘broads’ and ‘bytches.’”
The first thing I thought of was NeNe from RHOA. She always callin folk bytches. Haa on the episode where she was directing the alter ego shoot, she said something like: “…i gotta deal with a bunch a bytches.” That ish had me on the flo’ lol
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Reecie Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:09 am
yes! love this especially your addition. not getting along with women is nothing to brag about. I think some women think it appeals to men that they “relate” to them more. Trust me it doesn’t.
good list Miss Jenkins.
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ASmith Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:19 am
I think some women think the same thing and I don’t get that. What about having no female friends makes you relate to men better?? That’s such faulty logic it’s tragic. Females like that concern me!
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ASmith Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:22 am
Ummkay, I’m gonna try this one more time…
Nicki, I agree wholeheartedly with your addendum about women having female friends. A male friend of mine told me that he’s wary of females who have no female friends. I told him, you should be… they’re probably crazy.
My BFF is male, but please believe I have close female friends, because there’s a lot about being female my BFF just won’t get, and that’s fine.
I think a lot of women are envious of the bond that exists in dude-friendships, but the truth is, there’s little more intense than a true and legit friendship between two females.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:33 am
AMEN!!!! One of my girls has a best friend who is a male so I don’t think anything is wrong with that. My issue comes when women act like men offer so much more than a woman ever could, as far as friendship goes.
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WithRainbowSprinkles Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:44 am
AGREED!
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BlueFlame Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:54 am
I have to co-sign this. I met a girl that kept reiterating that she didn’t get along with females and what not. After hanging out with her I saw why…all she does is talk about people and hate on every girl she sees. Who has time for all that negativity? O and she’s psycho…like she’d be the type of chick to go Lorena Bobbit on a dude…I can’t surround myself with girls like that. Dudes might think I’m just as psycho as her! So i let that go…
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:23 am
“Who has time for all that negativity?”
Exactly… your story is a perfect example.
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Cheekie Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:56 am
“I cannot stand a woman who proudly declares, “I don’t cook,” like it’s a badge of honor. Look at Kim (RHOA)’s kids to see an example of how your children will end up from eating fast food- OVERWEIGHT.”
Yeah, hate this because it is pseudo-feminism. Those who took the factors in the feminism too literally and pretty much said, “nay!” to anything and everything cooking. Cooking for the family don’t make you a doormat. In fact, usually when you learn to cook, you’re learning for yourself after leaving the parent’s nest. If that ain’t independent, I don’t know what is. However, I do appreciate if the man volunteers to whip up something, even if it’s just limited to the grill (which, that’s rare because more and more men are cooking and doing a good job at it).
“A woman should know how to get along with her same sex….. Some women brag about not getting with women or not having any women friends…..”
Yeah, sisterhood is foreign concept to some. I hate when women say they don’t hang with other girls as a rule. Do they think that ish is attractive to guys? Um, excuse me, boo boo, you think yo man is gonna find you hanging with a bunch of dudes appealing? Usually those women who constantly and forever have a problem hanging with women need to seriously consider glancing in the mirror. Yes, some women ain’t right, but don’t get a twisted and think men ain’t full of drama at times too. And I LOATHE those women who participate in discussion with men while they bad-talk women calling them b*tches and drama hos and whatnot. And they SWEAR they’re singled out that group. No, sweetie, please believe why they might think you’re “cool”, you still ain’t “one of the boys” no matter how hard you try. We need to stop this automatic side-eyeing of our fellow sisters. Sometimes, we all we got.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:59 am
“However, I do appreciate if the man volunteers to whip up something, even if it’s just limited to the grill (which, that’s rare because more and more men are cooking and doing a good job at it).”
YESSSS! I love it when my man cooks.
“Cooking for the family don’t make you a doormat. In fact, usually when you learn to cook, you’re learning for yourself after leaving the parent’s nest”
AMEN.
“Yes, some women ain’t right, but don’t get a twisted and think men ain’t full of drama at times too. ”
The truf!
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Very comprehensive list, Ms. Jenkins. I’d like to make just one addendum:
Every woman should know the basics of the major sports. One thing I can’t stand is a woman who wants to ask 21 questions while her man is trying to enjoy the game. What’s a safety? How many fouls can you get til ur out the game? Why are they holding up their hands like that? Woman, buy yourself Sports for Dum(chicks) and in the meantime, shut ur gap while I watch my Nittany Lions (or L’ville Cardinals if its bball season) whoop up on some @$$!!!!!!
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OrangeStar616 Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 8:26 am
Sports fan here LOL
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Word. At least if you don’t get it, sit quietly, get excited when the men do, and ask questions during the commercials…or ask your lady friends like Joey, Ms. Sunshine or myself about the game, and we’ll teach you…after the game. LOL.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:27 am
YES!!!!!! and yes. That is so me… (all I know is about the nice butts), but I do know to keep my mouth shut while it’s on. LMAO
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Cheekie Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:00 am
“Joey, double you oh em aye in on”
Joey, tell me why when I saw your screename, it not only took me a while to figure out what you’re spelling, but I imagined the “aye” being said in OJ Da Juiceman voice. Gosh, I’m a fool sometimes. And it’s Monday, too. It’s Monday’s fault.
But co-sign the sports thing. Know when to shut that trap. It’s the same when we’re watching our fave movie or stories. Show some respect. Give ‘em that lone Sunday and whatnot to salivate over men
slapping each other’s bootiesmaking touchdowns.Reply
Co-sign to the entire list, and to the additions so far. I’m not the tidiest person in the world, but I try to keep a 15 minute rule going: if I know someone is coming over it should take no more than 15 minutes to get my place in shape. If you just show up at my doorstep you don’t deserve a last minute tidy session, lol.
I’ll add a few things, but some of these also come with age:
1. Self acceptance. Be comfortable in your own skin, style and personality. Bonuses are the ability to accept and laugh at your flaws, and a quiet confidence.
2. The right wardrobe. You shouldn’t have to run out and buy a new suit for an interview, or a whole new wardrobe for a new job (unless the job has very specific needs, like scrubs). If your closet has a whole lot of party clothes but just a few acceptable work items, step your game up. Also, please refrain from trying to transform said party clothes into work clothes. It’s not a good look, and we can tell.
3. The ability to gauge men. We all have this ability – but for some reason we don’t listen to our guts. Most men show us what they want from us in the beginning. If you don’t want the same, let him go. No need to try and show him that you deserve to be “upgraded” from whatever box he has you in.
4. The ability to say what you want. If you want to be in a relationship there is no need to say otherwise. If you want marriage in your future, say so. Doesn’t mean he has to propose on the third date. But if you don’t bring it up – he won’t, either.
5. Most women can get anything they ask for with a smile.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:02 am
Co-sign the 15 minute rule, and these addendums…
I see some post topics in there too
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Number 5 is da truf!
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Seattle Washington Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:42 am
#5 is amazing to watch. I’ve seen strangers and my female friends do some amazing things with the batting of the eye lashes and a coy smile. It’s hilarious to see the interaction. And it’s great when I’m winning because of it.
At the same time, it’s even funnier to see women do all that and then watch as the dude looks at them with a blank face and says, “No.”
Makes you want to laugh like Nelson from The Simpsons.
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Cheekie Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:03 am
“5. Most women can get anything they ask for with a smile.”
Other than the donk, this is the best
weapongift we have. Some women ain’t blessed with the junk, but every lady has a smile. Except for Celie pre-Shug Avery.Reply
temps Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:58 am
I have said this about women in NYC all the time no you dont have to go nuts as if I am some matinee idol. Even with a “no” done with a smile and sometimes a small touch can go a looong way. You never we (with your man in tow) may run into each other and who knows how I will react. But if you were indifferent and non emotional in your facial response especially when talking then dont expect me to react to you any positive manner. However if she’s single and likes the guy at least what she sees and is interested-baby please smile:)
How else am I gonna know you do like what you see?
I am looking for a sign ANY sign that I aint scaring you away BUT I dont know yet you are giving me the green light to make THAT move. This is the cat and mouse game-its foreplay and the initial stages of courting. Once involved men and women play this little coy game all the time. But that initial first meeting in these public places, the coyness and flirting gets way over analyzed to the point I have no clue as a grown man if women are feeling me…it was waaay easier in our late adolescence and early 20′s. Even though back then there was still too many “1000 yard stare” chicks out there. All I had to do is smile and it was on or maybe almost on but now at 33 even though I dont look it (hey dropping 40+lbs does wonders) yall seem so offended to even try to flirt as if somehow she’s now a “bird” damn so now smiling to is seen as a threat.
Also if the guy approaches you as a real man with nothing but dignity please…ladies even if you have a man be cool about whats with the glee in telling a man no esp when he comes correct?
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Misdemeanor Jenkins,
First nice follow up to Starbucks comments.
Second, I think you need to highlight or bold the last section. “Put time and effort into your appearance”. I was at a party with a bunch of the homies and one female tagged along and I was forced to ask the question, ‘Do women check their homegirls on their appearence before they step out the door?’ Her answer was hey some women want to look better than their homegirls…My mouth dropped ….SHOCKERS!
Myself and LeftCoast had a discussion about braods not dressing accordingly to their frame!?! WTF is that about !? Most of my homeboys can dunk a basketball but due to me being vertically challenged I wouldn’t dare try to embarass/hurt myself in trying. Hence, just because your homegirl looks fly with her stomach out doesn’t mean you’re gonna look fly in it too…LOLOL
Good Post tho!!
Checkin’ if her stomach sticks out farther than her booty,
-BBW
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:29 am
“Her answer was hey some women want to look better than their homegirls…My mouth dropped ….SHOCKERS!”
That SUCKS…. that kinda girl does not have great self esteem.
I check some of my girls but some of them- NOOOO. They get sensitive about it so I just avoid it (and try not to even go out with them.) I’m not trying to have to fight someone because they done made you cry, talmbout what you have on.
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Cheekie Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:13 am
“Do women check their homegirls on their appearence before they step out the door?’ Her answer was hey some women want to look better than their homegirls…My mouth dropped ….SHOCKERS!”
Yeah, she fails at friendship. And at self-esteem. Sadly, there are a LOT of women who think this way. Ya know, competition. We need to get out of that mentality, ASAP. I get competition, sometimes it’s needed, but having that mindset 24/7? Can be draining.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
” We need to get out of that mentality, ”
High fives!!!
And addiitonally, wouldn’t competition mean that you are making sure your competitor is worth competing for??? If our friend came out looking like ole girl at the top and we came out looking like a dyme, it’s a wrap. It’s just unfair.
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Cheekie Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Truth!
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BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Interesting!….Well thanks ladies for letting me know that women compete on the vanity level and are sensitive to the realities of the world
Nicki Sunshine – “I check some of my girls but some of them- NOOOO. They get sensitive about it so I just avoid it (and try not to even go out with them.) I’m not trying to have to fight someone because they done made you cry, talmbout what you have on.”
ROFLMAO, so if your homegirl is about to rock a trash bag to the club, you’re gonna be down that kind of company?….LMAO
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Celebrity Woman Basics:
If a crazy a$$ dude steals the mic from a helpless young woman, who’s trying to give her acceptance speech, in favor of your
not-that-greatmusic video, you relinquish your acceptance speech so she can “have her moment.” Good ish.Reply
CHeeKZ Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:16 am
this dude may have to go to rehab. I blame Don C and his Bruno type yes men.
No one else thinks this act is getting OLD?
I wish that white girl didn’t accept his apology. Or MTV went to commercial….
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ASmith Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:18 am
Yes, this act is VERY old… it’s been old since his FIRST rant.
The problem is, Kanye apologizes and they accept it and let him come back. He needs to be blacklisted from ALL awards shows. The end.
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Blunt like my favorite pastime Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:30 am
A co-worker said it best the other day…Kanye is just a dweeb that got on. He’s had so many people tell him what he couldnt do before, now he’s doin it and still actin like he has something to prove. His actions were horrible, but can we talk about that ridiculous haircut? Looks like he got shaped up by Michael J. Fox. Yea, I said it.
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Anger Management Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:48 am
“Looks like he got shaped up by Michael J. Fox. ”
OMG, dead
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Cheekie Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:29 am
“Looks like he got shaped up by Michael J. Fox. ”
…
BWAHAHAHAHA!
Ok, come out the corner for a sec so I can give you a dap for this comment for it has made my day already and it just started. Ok, now return to thee corner for roasting po’ Alex P. Keaton.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:29 am
Very good -ish
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Cheekie Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:36 am
“If a crazy a$$ dude steals the mic from a helpless young woman, who’s trying to give her acceptance speech, in favor of your not-that-great music video, you relinquish your acceptance speech so she can “have her moment.” Good ish.”
Yeah, that was a real woman move right there. I can critique Beyonce ’til the cows come home, but I gotta give props where it’s due. Classiness personified.
In other news, the parodies have already begun and I for one thought this was genius and perfect timing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wnzbrKILS8
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…Don’t forget to swallow…
Good day.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:20 am
CO-SIGN!
GOAT POST!
Lex Steele for President of the Threeways Comment Community.
DO it with a smile too….
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BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:42 am
I’m not as brash as RightCoastLex but like Mr. Kennedy endorsed our current presidente….
I must endorse this statement!
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Seattle Washington Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:15 am
::Starts slow hand clap::
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Anna Nimous Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Where’s Cheekie when you need her? I guess I have to be the one to tell you:
Go saddown.
Lawd!
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Blunt like my favorite pastime Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Yea, yea, yea…just don’t forget it. Same rules apply like when your takin a shot…if there’s still some in there, you’re not done.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:07 am
Lex is on fire today….
word.
This isn’t a revolver. Its a semi-auto. Stop running to the bathroom before the last drops hits your backside.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:07 am
“Lex is on fire today”
PAUSE!
sorry RCLS
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Cheekie Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:40 am
HAHA…thanks Anna for taking over with the chastizing. RCLS, go pick up that chair in the corner, then saddown promptly.
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Blunt like my favorite pastime Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Eff that, you go saddown and hopefully while you’re over there your throat loosens up a bit.
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Cheekie Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Hopefully, while you’re over there, you can reach me all the way over here. SADDOWN.
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Tunde Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:09 am
yeah how could you leave that one out? lol
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Lol @ nyela.
I forgot to add something… Cleanlinss def tops my list, but allow me to add that the cleaning cannot stop at the common areas… It frustrates me to no end to stay at a friend’s house and the living room is squeaky clean, but the minute I step foot into the bathroom, I wanna slip into my sexiest hazmat suit and take a decon shower from all the hair, dirt, and grime that I now have all over me from her floor, sink, and shower. :::shudders:::
Come on, ladies. Slap on them gloves and get down to business, or practice daily upkeep so it never gets that far!
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Reecie Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:18 am
bathroom and kitchen, for me. I look to these two places in anybody’s house (man, woman, kin folk) to decide if its somewhere I can lay my head. seriously. I have family that I know if we are coming to town, we are eating out and staying at a hotel. its not a game for me.
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Anna Nimous Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Yes! I’m the same way – there may be a tornado of clothing in the bedroom and piles of seperated laundry on the living room floor, but the bathroom and kitchen are always clean. How do you get clean in a dirty bathroom? And how do you cook and eat in a dirty kitchen? smh.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Yes lawd…the kitchen and bathrooms are common areas. When folks come by, they are likely to want to eat and/or need to tinkle. And you shouldn’t want to use your own bathroom if its gross. A lil Lysol and bleach concoction goes a long way.
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Enjoyed this post. For me, a woman who does not ever show that she is vulnerable is a sign of being heartless to me. Plus a man likes to think that he is needed in some way, that he can protect and provide for his.
Basics of everyone: Be trustworthy. I can’t stand when I can’t trust a person. Especially a woman. I had a friend who was dating a chick who was just slimy… hell I was dating a chick who was just slimy. Can’t stand them…
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i feel bad for bringing in my perverted remarks to Miss Jenkins positive posts sometimes… but since Lex already got down, I feel much better now.
2)I need a girl that can finish the job on her own. Too often I see a mouth or hand taking credit for a kid squirt when in fact I had to grab it myself cause you couldn’t get the stroke timing right. No deadfish, you having to have a lust for giving pleasure. Just b/c you are covered in DNA doesn’t mean you did a good job cultivating it.
1)You gotta have curves. I don’t care what race you are… No South African 800 meter runners need apply, eat something B!tch. If you are a woman you have to have lady humps. For some reason this white boys are endorsing girls that are a straight stick figure (Paris Hilton) NO SIGN. Why would I want a 13 yr old boy? I was 13 once and I had sex with myself alot that year. I’ve moved on to breast, hips, and booty. I don’t know how you skinny girl lovers do it. You mean you hit it and nothing moves? What is the point?
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:02 am
Some people can’t really help if they don’t have curves. Genetics don’t always write them in the cards…
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CHeeKZ Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:33 am
Part of my heart goes out to those skinny chicks.. HOWEVER, if you were born ugly, Dimes don’t look past genetics and give you a pass.
If you are born with a small piece, a g-spot isn’t going to inch up to make up for genetics…
So I am not going to get aroused from stroking a no-back… genetics or no genetics.
Try Chicken
Or Birth Control Pills
or get pregnant
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Tunde Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:12 am
“Part of my heart goes out to those skinny chicks.. HOWEVER, if you were born ugly, Dimes don’t look past genetics and give you a pass.
If you are born with a small piece, a g-spot isn’t going to inch up to make up for genetics”
lol. y’all are crazy. but this is true.
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Blunt like my favorite pastime Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:02 am
To point 2…you still have admire the willingness to ingest or wear said DNA. It’s all about Enthuuuuusiasm!
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Tunde Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:57 am
“2)I need a girl that can finish the job on her own. Too often I see a mouth or hand taking credit for a kid squirt when in fact I had to grab it myself cause you couldn’t get the stroke timing right. No deadfish, you having to have a lust for giving pleasure. Just b/c you are covered in DNA doesn’t mean you did a good job cultivating it.”
preach. this is so true. fact is you have a vagina. we’re gonna get ours regardless. doesn’t mean you did a good job at it. lol
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This was an excellent post! I want to add that if a man wants to do something for you…LET HIM! My mom always stressed that…(not to confuse this with being totally dependent on him, but if he wants to treat you some special things…let him do it! That way you’re both happy!)
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Fabulous post. My two cents worth is this: Know simple mechanics for your car too (i.e. how to change a flat, jump start it or have an idea what’s wrong with it). Mechanics will set you up for the okie doke and play you for a fool.
And kill your own bugs. There will come a time when the boo is not around, the bro is out of town and Papa Smurf lives 5.5 hours away. Get the bug spray, a fly swatter or a rolled up newspaper and go to battle. Real women kill their own bugs.
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While I agree with my boys RCLS & Cheekz, I have to also mention one more critical thing –
Admitting You Were Wrong
It takes a certain confidence and self-assurance to admit that you messed up. Any woman who will battle up until their last breath about the sky being green isn’t truly a woman.
An adult can fess up when they’ve f*cked up.
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Blunt like my favorite pastime Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 10:48 am
Note: Not swallowing is wrong.
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Brookland's OWn Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
“Note: Not swallowing is wrong.”
I FULLY ENDORSE THIS MESSAGE!
-BK’s Own (Cocksman member since 1984)
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BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
SMH… its amazing how some females are willing to go hard when they are right in a situation but let them end up being wrong forget it!!!
LMAO…the funniest sh*t ever!
For a second time as noted above, I endorse Rightcoast’s comments!
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be clean. i can’t say how important this is. cleanliness is next to godliness. i’m a fairly tidy and neat person. i believe everything has its place and i can’t really function among clutter.
i remember one time i went back to this woman’s apartment and i was taken aback by how dirty her spot was. i’m talking about blunt fillings on the kitchen counter, drawls all over the living room floor, etc. ewl. i mean it didn’t stop what was going to happen from happening but needless to say after that night we never really advanced our relationship.
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Great post, Miss Jenkins.
“Know when to be vulnerable…”
I can’t stress this enough to our sistas. Society got folks screwed up that being vulnerable means being weak. *game show incorrect buzzer* Wrong. Letting down the walls you’ve built up over time is one of the strongest thing a woman — a person — can do, IMO. It takes a helluva woman to let a man in (pause?), especially if she’s not known to do so. Being vulnerable makes you more susceptible to getting hurt…and taking that risk? Is gangsta.
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I agree with all your points, Miss Jenkins. Still working on the being vulnerable thing. But I am happy to say I’ve gotten much better asking for help and accepting help. Vulnerability doesn’t make you any less I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. But it might make you lonely.
And, cleanliness is next to godliness. No one, man or woman, should live in filth. And if you can’t clean, hire a service to clean your place for you. I don’t endorse this route, though, b/c a grown person should know how to clean properly.
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This goes to appearance:
Hands/Feets: So, while I realize it’s not on every woman’s priority list, consistent mani/pedi upkeep is on mine. It’s fine if you don’t go to the nail salon every week like me. BUT there’s nothing worse then seeing the remnants of that bright a$$ pink or red nail polish you applied THREE+ weeks ago, looking like lost puzzle pieces on your nails. That’s just mess. At least grab the polish remover and apply some clear goodness. Come on, now…
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Slim Jackson Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Don’t you have crusty feet?
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Really, though? I gets compliments on my feets, even when I’m on the way to get ‘em done. So there! you.know.this. ::sticks tongue out::
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Blunt like my favorite pastime Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:28 am
And for the love of God…get a ped egg…if I have one, you should have one too.
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:32 am
that ped egg is the truth. i was able to cut down my nail salon visits to once a month during these TETs.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Damn, I’m mad I left that out. I shouldn’t be able to light a match on the heel of your foot. Some folks heels got so many cuts, I just wanna apply chapstick or something…sheesh
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Oh as for driving stick: Honestly this is soooo overrated you are not going to get paid more or get any job or anything better outta life just cause you can do this…it is one of those things that when it was the only way to drive the public probably drooled over automatics when they came out. But here we sit getting nostalgic over an old outdated technology, I guess we ought to get rid of power steering too!!!! In a city like NYC, Philly and Boston you are seen as a jerk for having a stick here you breaking down every 100 ft-God help you when texting and driving and here comes the 10 yr old darting out from behind a car.
All I see with some one driving stick is someone driving stick so what. My moms owned 5 cars starting in 66 all the way to 06 all of em auto’s.
I was more impressed she learned to drive from my dad got divorced and then brought four more cars without a man. I say this is one of the lame things that women think if men know yall can do this we may be moved, well not me or most of my male friends never mention this all we care is can she drive.
BTW is you can drive stick but cant figure common computer problems(moving large files over the web, cleaining out hardrives)…priorities are way off.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
I think you got the wrong post. In any case, fine…who cares if a man can drive a stick, but why are you hating? If stick shifting were a dying technology, they wouldn’t keep making them. The best and fastest cars don’t come in automatic, they’re all manual. Why? Because
they’re that bidnessyou have far more control. I think you just straight trippin, boo. #imjustsayinReply
The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Blunt like my favorite pastime Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
If you can move large files over the web, clean out hard drives and can’t drive stick, that makes you the world’s biggest and least often laid nerd.
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She should know how to suck a good d*ick and can hook a steak up, word to B.I.G.
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Reecie Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
LOL. “gotta go gotta go more pots to bake up…”
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Brookland's OWn Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
“She should know how to suck a good d*ick and can hook a steak up, word to B.I.G.”
I ALSO FULLY ENDORSE THIS STATEMENT! Hell, if you can do those two things, we might be well on our way to a productive relationship. Haha!
-BK’s Own (Cocksman member since 1984)
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CHeeKZ Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Can we define a “good sux”?
The most important thing to me is the percent of piece you can make disappear in your mouth
However, if you have a strong gag reflex, I will accept good sustained bobbing and/or hand-mouth coordination a la’ Supahead.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
building off this wise post…
I expect her to know how to take backshots or as my crew refers to them, Sheezies. You gotta know how to put that arch in your back or else I am missing out on getting my whole shaft moist.
Also plz while I am working keep it in the same position. NO dipping down running away from the D. All this five strokes than fall down business needs to stop tonight!
**Diddy Voice**
Take that take that…
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Blunt like my favorite pastime Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
“Ain’t no hundred ways to please yo man…just suck his d*ck, suck his balls, make him a sammich and don’t talk so much…”
-David Chappelle
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Anna Nimous Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Cheekz – I have your meds in this little cup. I’ll know you’re properly medicated when I see you in the corner, sitting down.
Take that, take that!
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CHeeKZ Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
A) I hope you have my cialis with those meds?
B) I will only sit in the corner if you sit on my lap?
about a half hour after taking said cialis, b/c the momment will be right
C) You didn’t use the Diddy Voice when you made me take it (pause, no strap-on)
D) What does this mean for my chance of getting the sheezies?
E) Is arching your back with a paynus inside you really that difficult?!?!?!
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Anna Nimous Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
A) Cialis is not on your accepted meds list. You have only been approved for behavior modification medications. Male enhancement drugs are strictly forbidden. Mostly because:
B) Lap sitting is $100/5 minute session. Your previously submitted psychiatric care budget does not allow for this amenity.
C) Diddy’s voice is always implied for “Take that, take that.”
D) The “sheezies” sounds like something that happens in your pants when you sneeze too hard.
E) No.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
**can’t wait for that Obama Healthcare plan to come through***
Viarga and nurse lap dances for everyone!
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olivya23 Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
LMBO!!!!
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As to moving files over the web what are you like doin this all wkend. If you can’t do it ONCE but you’re an idiot. We live on computers movin a large file FYI can be a porn flick! I know dudes up here done sent made porn over the web. Now what purpose does driving stick serve? Other than inflatin a low ego?
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As for sticks, the fact yall have to try to convince that its still important only speaks to the fact stick shifts are what’s called niche products. Who do you know drives those European race cars on a reg? Most ppl drive auto for a reason and most companies make autos for a reason. How much of the market share do stick makers have?
Now I don’t have to convince any of yall about computers. And what’s really funny in just ten yrs since the 01 computers have all of us talkin “nerd talk”. Who was talkin about ip addresses and domains names until all this diy stuff came along? You wanna make beats like Ye you will be gettin real familiar with basically geek and audio geek talk. Getting into film is how I learned way more about computers than say the avg mba student. Shoot half of yall frontin on starting a blog too much html fa yall I guess but you know yall drive stick!
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I deff need to step up my cooking game.
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