Is Shorty a Jump Off?
After having our “Need Advice?” page up for like a couple months, somebody finally asked a question.lol. I present to you the following from someone that stumbled upon Three Ways during a Google search:
Makkie wrote:
Hello, I don’t have a specific relationship question, but I’d like to find out
what’s the meaning of a question “Is shorty a jumpoff?”. I’ve found it on your
page while searching it on Google and I need to know what it means. (I cannot
make out the meaning from the context)
Thank you,
Makkie
Well Makkie, you ask a question that some would say has a very simple answer. I completely disagree with those folks. One of my favorite responses to people who ask questions or share their views on a topic is “That’s relative”. The same applies to the question that you’re asking. A chick being a jump off is quite complex, especially since a good number of jump-offs don’t even know they’re jump-offs. Let’s explore this further.
To me as a manly man macho male that loves and respects non-promiscuous women, a jump off is any chick that can be summoned for sexual gratification via an email, text message, instant message, or phone call that is 1 minute or less (No misogyny). She can be summoned by one male or multiple males to perform a variety of sexual acts that leave all parties either wanting to sleep or eat a sandwich. The jump-off is never a wifeykins, real friend, or significant other. She is someone that outside of the confines of a relationship will quell the sexual needs of a man on an at-will agreement on a regular basis. Many jump-offs will not even know they’re in that category until it’s too late or they will consider themselves liberal or “in need of some d*ck”. Others just don’t care. A one-time incident does not make someone a jump-off.
The question that you’re questioning is most likely a male trying to figure out if a chick meets the jump-off status criteria. A good number of sexually active women have been the jump-off of at least one man during their lifetime and probably didn’t realize it. Or, they felt that the man was their jump-off as well. I will support the notion that a man can be a jump-off, but the stigma attached to a chick being a jump-off makes it far worse in the eyes of a man looking for a signifcant other. In many situations, it makes her undateable.
It is Friday. I have ruffled some feathers. But as most people know who’ve been visiting this site, following me on Twitter, or know me in real life know, I’m not a misogynist. I’m just calling it how I see it. How would you answer Makkie’s question? And if you want to BBQ me for my response, tell me how.lol.
Post Amendment: Shout to Cheekz for posing a few more questions since it seems my definition “da bomb”.
Since no one is going to admit to being a jump, do you know any jumps? Everyone has a loose friend.. what did you tell them? How has their life been affected by being a jump? And ladies..who or what can get you to jumpoff? even for just one night?
Making Friday Interesting with the assistance of Cheekz,
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I agree with your answer.
Men can be jumpoffs too, for women like Samantha (Sex and the city). I tried making a man a jumpoff once and caught feelings.
Womp womp wahhhhhh. LOL
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ashbunnie Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 7:56 am
Darn you Sunnyshine, you rained your UV Rays all over my number one spot.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 10:14 am
LMAO @ UV Rays!!!
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I am first. Yay.
Well Makkie, Slim pretty much explained to you and the rest of the people under your rock what a jump-off is.
But please do not get this confused with the side piece. Side pieces are always jump-offs but a jump-off by no means is a side piece. Confuzzled? As Slim pointed out, a jump off can be summoned for sexual activity in correspondence lasting no longer than 1 minute or an email/txt with no vowels. But a side piece’s conversation is no more than 10 minutes. Side pieces MIGHT get a gift on a bday/v-day but a jump, she will only recieve, *Jay-Z Voice* hard dick and bubble gum. So Makkie, if you were unaware of what your or any of your friends status was/is, I hope that this clarifies for you.
So glad I never fell in the jump or side piece box. Always been wifeykins =).
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RightCoastLexSteele, In My Happy Place Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
I’d like to respectfully disagree. If a dude is trickin on his “side piece” esp. on Valentine’s Day or a b’day, two significant days in the eyes of women, then he’s got the game twisted. A side piece is supposed to a jumpoff, but she’s on the side cuz you have a main. If you’re spending money and time, then she’s more than a jump.
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I don’t know Slim. You pretty much said it all. I don’t see how the biggest dyke/hair armpit feminist could argue with that definition.
Only way to spark a controversy on this website is to talk about God or Trains (THEY DO NOT MAKE US GHEY Ms. Jenkins!). I would like to ask the gallery a new question. Since no one is going to admit to being a jump, do you know any jumps? Everyone has a lose freind.. what did you tell them? How has their life been effected by being a jump? And ladies..who or what can get you to jumpoff? even for just one night?
I have a friend, sex addict. Low motivation, 30, no job,, still lives at home with his parents, porn addict. As Nas would say he is in his 2nd Childhood. I have seen him work, he is a stallion. Never met a girl who didn’t say he was the best in bed. The kid does anything over 13 yrs old. No girl is too heavy. No boyfreind is too vigilant. No face can’t be covered in a brown paper bag. I think he racks up these high numbers and puts so much into piping these girls down b/c it gives him a sense of accomplishment. But believe me.. this guy can SCREW! no homo. Every girl in the neighborhood comes to him to get in O. He is like a jackhammer. Best ever. My hero.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Your additional questions are genius. I’m amending the post to include them.lol.
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CHeeKZ McJump Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 10:36 am
No problem, Slim. But I also would like to bring up a different point. Women should be afraid to be Jumps… although the stigma surrounding a jumpoff stinks to high heavens, it is still temporary. People’s opinions of you are only as strong as they know you. And a new situation brings a fresh start. Heck I was watching homegrown p07n, my fav, of this Morgan St scandal. Girl gave the boppington to the football team on camera. They posted it online and RUINED HER, @ that school. She transfered and probably is saved by christ.
Slim and I went to school with this one girl we called the window jump. The was a small window that every guy had a chance to sleep with her, after that time had passed… its gone! She jumped off something serious! In actions elders describe to me as ‘Grown Man S3x acts’. But her last semester in college is got engaged to some guy from her hometown who knows nothing of her jumphood. He probably thinks he wifed up the dime of all dimes. She had two kids last I heard. She avoids facebook and class reunions, but other than that lives a normal life.
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ashbunnie Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Um Cheekz, I like you in an E-Friend kinda way, So I will tell you this in deepest sincerity.
‘I’ve seen him work, and he is a stallion’. This is pauseable in so many ways than one. Please never repeat this nor retype it in any other public forum.
The only person(s) in this world who can make me jump is: Jadakiss and Weebay (The Wire… He has to be in character a la scene when he told his babymoms that no matter where she go he will still be in her head).
Yes, I have had a friend who was the queen of jump-offdom. She, from what I’ve heard from my male friends whom have conquered shorty, was THE best jump on the block. Personally think, she was lacking attention, but I am no Head Doctor (no pun). Was she affected by this? Yea because she turned to other locations/hood for love?! *Chicks from the projects wouldn’t eff with us. but they ran across to tompkins. I don’t know what they thinking, them dudes just like us.*/end Jay-Z voice.
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Terry Lang Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Ash, you are one of my favorite commentators.
I was just thinking “how the heck he saw duke in action?!” LOL
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ChokLitFactory Reply:
June 14th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
I co-signs all over this comment Ash bunnie! lol indeed! ‘Cept for the Jadakiss mention. Weebay tho? **nods head in agreement**
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 10:16 am
“Since no one is going to admit to being a jump, do you know any jumps”
I am pretty sure I was a jump off before. lol.
I don’t know any though!
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Hmmm if you’re a single female, do not want any kind of relationship, and you make a guy a jump-off, aren’t you also a jump-off for him? I’ve up all night writing a paper so my clarity is slim (lol) to none. But I think that’s the only time I’ve been a jumpoff. My player days *sigh*
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CHeeKZ McJump Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 11:00 am
The one who initiates the rendezvous is NOT the jump.
However if you are initiating a triz on yourself, that doesn’t count. You are still a Jump.
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Terry Lang Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Nah, just because as a single female you make a guy a jump off, it doesn’t mean you are a jump off to him. You can mean the world to homeboy, he’s all head over heels, can’t wait to see you, thinking of you all day and is happy he gets to “make love” with you, but as the female, he’s nothing more but a good piece of buddy (that’s “dick” for those not from the West Indies).
I have a friend that is a jumpoff. She tells me her stories of “sexual empowerment” and I think, “girl, you are not using him, he is using you.” How she gonna say, “oh I call him when I’m horny,” but then get mad when homeboy don’t want to go to the movies with her?!
Some women all messed up in this game. They trying to play like dudes, but just abusing their kitties to make a point.
Now as for me and mine, we’ve never been jumpoffs. Nope. Never have and never will be.
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RightCoastLexSteele, In My Happy Place Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Every woman should have a good buddy (That’s right!)
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TRUE Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
I agree terry
Again, I have told/made dudes my jump and told them
They were smitten with me and tried to wife me..I got to running
lol
Not every woman wants a relationship with every man she meets…
yes she can have sex without emotion…YES SHE CAN..and yes she has
*shrugs*
The women I know that did it never “abused their kitty” were discreet and really truly didn’t get low self esteem (or high self esteem) from it
like men, it was simply SEX , a means to an end…nothing more
and terry..yeah your friend was trying to justify her actions, she wanted to be wifed but knew she wouldn’t..she masked what she really wanted..so sad for her
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Happy Friday, Y’all!
I beg to differ with you, Slim, on just one point. If she’s the jump-off, chances are more that she knows than she doesn’t.
Perhaps she’s hoping to upgrade her status (which probably won’t happen with HIM), but she knows. Empty sex leaves empty feelings, especially in women. No matter how she might frame it outwardly, she knows when the relationship, more like encounters, are purely sex-based. She may be comfortable with it, but she knows.
In case she doesn’t know, though, here are a few tips:
1) If he always f*cks you with his pants puddled at his feet and his shirt/undershirt tucked under his chin… Chances are you’re his jump-off.
2) If he never or rarely answers your calls/texts and returns them days/weeks later only to ask you if your ass is still fat and to discuss what your plans for THAT NIGHT (or the next immediate few hours) are… Chances are you’re his jump-off.
3) If he has suggested (even once in a joking manner after a few drinks) that you could do him and his homie at the same time… Chances are you’re his jump-off.
Those are just a few, SURELY there are many more indicators of one’s jump-off status.
Notice also, I said “his” jump-off and not “a” jump-off, because there is a difference, I believe.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 11:13 am
This comment would have been a great blog post in itself. Genius I say! Genius!
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ashbunnie Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Nia, you are hereby granted with a Co-Signature.
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
“1) If he always f*cks you with his pants puddled at his feet and his shirt/undershirt tucked under his chin… Chances are you’re his jump-off.”
OMG! everyone in this office thinks I have lost my damn mind I’m laughing so hard……..the visuals THE VISUALS LOLLLLLL
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I agree with your definition Slim. I had a friend who was a JO but didn’t know it because the guy at first approached her on a deeper level and then would get mad if she did things without him knowing (she went to Miami and he asked why and who she was going with). Due to his mixed signals, she got caught up and her feelings ended up getting hurt when she asked for more.
If a guy wants a JO, please don’t fool a girl into thinking she’s more by acting like she’s more. My friend still smarts when discussing the situation and really, it wasn’t her fault for getting frustrated because he didn’t do right by her, nor did he follow the JO guidelines.
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niasmomma Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 11:31 am
Hmm… Sounds more like ashbunnie’s “side piece” than a true jump-off… It hurts just the same, I’m sure.
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Tha Management Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I just get mad that guys don’t think they can get it by being 100%. At least let her make the decision about how she wants to be treated rather than you tricking her into it.
I hate when guys say, “She shoulda known” if you weren’t being straight with her, how could she. There are always signs that she wants more than you are willing to give. You’re dead wrong (I’m talking to men in general) if you think that its ok to get yours at the expense of her feelings.
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CHeeKZ is desperate and does what it takes Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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i agree with the fact that dudes can be and are often jump offs themselves. now that i look back on it i’ve been a jump off more times that i cared to be. it happens though. lol.
and i agree with niasmomma’s tips. but who really fucks like that (#1) unless its a quickie and you don’t want to get caught. shit would just seem uncomfortable to me.
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CHeeKZ Keeps His Draws on to Protect Against the Herp Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Naw, when you are jumping off on a chick you do things like keep you clothes on as a sign of disrespect. Like “this aint going to be long or your not worth it.” “I’m just trying to get mine.” or the most important message taht keeping your clothes demostrates “this is NOT love making, this is intercourse.”
You do other thangs to a jumpoff. Its like training a dog, certain actions let him know who is in charge in the relationship (this is going to get some hate).
1)When you say stop or ouch and dude plows straight through
2)When he MAKES you do thangs that you thought were off limits. **This is different from being told to do things that are new to you** But when you say you don’t shallow, yet you have embryos in your digestive track…
3)He doesn’t like your restaurant.
4)forplay? Please, next point!
5)He doesn’t care what you think about his performance… or his smell.
6)He lives within seconds of his ejaculation.
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Tunde Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
terrible all the way around.
1. if she says stop. umm, you need to stop. i think that’s called rape. but i could be wrong.
2. i mean anyone can be convinced to do things that they thought they would never do. jump off or not.
3. huh?
4. foreplay doesn’t have to happen always but i get your point on this one.
5. maybe its just me but jump off or not i care what she thinks of my performance and smell.
6. lol. seconds though?
were you rushing when you typed this? cuz i was “lives”, wth?
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Terry Lang Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
3. “He doesn’t like your restaurant”. Translation: He doesn’t eat.
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CHeeKZ Money Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Sorry for Rushing.
When typing naughty things you tend to type quickly.
@Tunde. Sorry, I don’t care. I’m using you, why bother with all that hard work. I’m going to get mine than you are going to leave. Esp during a Triz, why would I go mad hard and risk you being too sore to smash the homies?
Also.. there is a difference from being told to do something and consenting and something being done to you that you had no say in it.
Lastly, you can’t take it from a hoe, ask the Duke Lacrosse team.
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RightCoastLexSteele, In My Happy Place Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Word up…the performance is everything. I have an enormous ego to feed after all. If you give her 2 pumps and dump cuz you don’t care, then after a while she’s wise up and no longer return your communiques. If she thinks your wang is the greatest creation ever in life, then you win all around.
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niasmomma Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Aww… Tunde’s got feelings…
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Terry Lang Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Woooow.
How do some women live with themselves knowing that this is how / what they are thought of?
“Training a dog?” “Embryos in your digestive track?”
I’m speechless… smh.
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ashbunnie Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
I am dead at embryos in your digestive track. Oh Gosh.
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niasmomma Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Yeah… As a rule, jump-offs don’t spend too much time under the covers. You definitely don’t cuddle with them after you’re spent. The man washes his c*ck off in the bathroom sink (I hope), OR on a hot, soapy rag (not a towel, a rag…lol) and he skates or you bounce (depending on who’s where). If he leaves, he doesn’t linger long enough to determine whether she’s washed her cooch at all… He doesn’t really care.
Now jump-off sex and bad sex are not synonymous. It’s not usually a funky (literally) good time. But, as Cheekz explained, jump-off encounters are usually categorized by their blatant breach of most respectful relationship norms. You don’t return phone calls/texts. You might call at after-club hours. You don’t completely undress (her or you) for sex. You don’t offer food or beverages when she comes over – hell, you don’t even straighten up. If you don’t have your phone nearby, you don’t know her number. There’s not much meaningful conversation when you encounter each other; you know what you’re meeting up to do.
To obtain intimacy from a woman whose time AND body you really desire, you make PLANS to do things with her (that’ll probably culminate in nasty sex at the end of the night). To get booty from a jump-off, you call her/text her to get with her right then/that night/in a couple of hours. You might “seduce” her with sexual compliments (“Hey girl, who you been letting squeeze that fat ass?”) or entice her with her favorite aphrodisiac (weed, liquor – all of which comes at little expense to you either because you sell it, or you use it too) to come over and bless your pimpin’. You’re not in each other’s company longer than 2 hours.
If you catch feelings from that, then that’s on you…
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Tunde Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
@RCLS:
“If she thinks your wang is the greatest creation ever in life, then you win all around.”
^^^^
this is how i approach the situation. anything less would be uncivilized.
***************
@niasmomma
of course i have feelings. i’d be lying if i said i didn’t. lol
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I’ve been all 3: jump off, side piece and serious boo (I really hate the term “wifey”). I’d have to say that there are upsides and downsides to all 3. Just depends on where you are in life at the time.
If I’m in a place where I don’t want a relationship or the extended company of men the jump off status is ok. Trust, you’re my jumpoff as well. Don’t get mad if I break out some measuring tape on your azz. Problems come when one of us breaks the “one line text” rule and tries to hang out too long or catch a little feeling. And men do this. Yes y’all do.
And I still have some dudes that I’ve been with that are cool. Not so cool that I want to date them, but cool enough to let hangin’ turn into somehting else.
For now, I’m with a great Boo. Being with him is the BEST! He’s taught me that the touch of someone who loves you is better than the most skilled pumpington I could ever get. And I’ve gotten some dang good pumpington in my life. But if I hadn’t done some jumping off and side piecing I would never know – and probably wouldn’t be faithful cuz I would be wondering what was on the other side.
It surprises me sometimes how much brain space we use wondering if we’re hoes/jump-offs/side pieces/whatever. Enjoy your life – not your status.
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TRUE Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
ANNA we are so >>here<<
good post
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Ok, just read Cheekz little Bad D**k confessional: Boy, what the heezy are you thinking? Chex between 2 people who are not in a relationship is STILL supposed to be good! WHO you chex should have no bearing on your performance! You are the HEIGHT of inconsiderate and bad buddy. Why would you tarnish your dyck’s reputation like that?!?
Between your (definitely pause-worthy) adoration of the neighborhood Coc-a-poo and this new woman hating rant, I am officially putting you on DL Watch.
We’re watching you, bruh. REAL. HARD.
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Terry Lang Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Very suspect, indeed.
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CHeeKZ MCunApologetic Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Even real life wifey txted me and told me to stop going hard on hoes in this blog!
Yall are so mean.
80% of guys are like me, I JUST ADMIT IT! Forgive me for letting you know the real thoughts behind a man’s actions. I’M HELPING YOU OUT!
And I don’t need you to tell me I’m a bit off and perverted. I have a therapist for that, kidding…
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TRUE Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
man…be you…dont “lighten up” for anyone
people dont like the truth and CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH
lol
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ashbunnie Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
And again, 3 snaps in Z formation.
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Man…
I’ve had a few friends that are jumps and I tend to put then into categories. There are the “jumps on the low” and the “carefree wide-eyed jumps”. In college I lived with a “jump on the low” for several years.
I knew she had an indiscretion here or there, but who doesn’t? But it wasn’t until I’d say our third year of living together and then after college that the pieces came together… stories got back to me, she confessed to a few things and one day I sat and started counting how many times I’d answered the door at 3am (she sleeps like the dead).
I started to think back on the times when I’d come home from class and she was home when I knew she should be in class or at work. The nights when she’d stroll in late from the “library” and I just shrugged it off.
“Jumps on the low” don’t make good friends in my opinion because you can’t trust them. They like doing things that nobody knows about and they get a high off of getting away with it. I learned the hard way that it’s cool til they get away with something that belongs to you or another close friend.
Then there’s the “carefree jump” I have a good friend who’s always involved with some foolishness when it comes to men. When I first met her she was in love with a guy, but she was a side piece. A few friends and I sat her down and explained to her that she would never be wifeykins because she had been a jump for several of dude’s frat, including one of his LBs and while she had worked her way up to side piece… it wasn’t gonna go much further. To this day she’s still good friends with dude and I think he truly cares about her, but… she’s still never gonna be wifey.
The same friend is always hooking up with some random guy or bouncing from a girl’s night to rush to some jump. I’m never amazed by the shit she ends up involved with. She randomly bedded some white business man after having drinks w/ friends at a hotel bar and when she went to sneak out dude had left $$$ on the dresser. She thought it was hilarious that he thought she was a hooker. Since she had a good time, she left her number. Now she thinks she’s a mistress… she’s a sweetheart, I love her to death. I haven’t had the heart to tell her she’s just an escort. She’s having fun so I won’t spoil it for her. I don’t judge her because she’s upfront about her business.
The only draw back is having to reign in my male friends who want to jump in the fun. I’ve had to remind dudes plenty of times that she may be a jump but she’s still a person and still my girl… I’m not setting her out for you when you come to town. She’s not a bag of chips, she’s my friend.
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Terry Lang Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Your last paragraph is very on point and is also a fact that most men seem to forget.
Even though homegirl is a jump, she is still a person and not some inanimate object that you can use and abuse and then discard.
Good luck to your friend and continue to have her back.
I know from your end it’s every hard. I’ve been cursed out a few times by dudes for defending friends that I knew those same dudes were treating less than satisfactory.
Yeah, she’s a jump, but you’re not the only one doing the jumping. Hence, by sleeping with her, you become just as vunerable as she is.
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I live vicariously through a family member who is one helluva jump off….she Thinks she’s Sam from sex and the city..I’ve never watched that show/movie- i know- shoot me?
I have been a jump off but I’ve been completely aware of it ..in fact it became a mutual agreement..bi’ness agreement..so maybe I wasn’t?..nah I was!
I mean we all go through learning curves…that jump off phase did not last long..I worry about the women who have become permanent jump-offs..like my fam member…she has gambled with her health, her heart..so much that she don’t know who she is anymore…I really and truly believe that we as women should not be playing like we men…
I hope we have all helped that reader answer his question lolllll
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I have a very serious question that I hope the female readers answer….
Maybe I should have saved this for another post, but it’s been a reallly long time since I had one of these “jump-off” situations. I can’t remember too many chicks that I dealt with regularly where we didn’t speak or chill at all outside of the thronxing. It seems like a lot of women who comment here are cool with this no speaking and chatting just eff me stuff. When you just going to a guy for D on the regular with nothing else involved, what really happens when he walks in the door or you get to his place? Do you really just not talk and just get undressed?
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Make small talk…put in a movie that you will probably get 20 minutes through…then tada!!
Oh I am not one of those women who are cool w the jump-off situation…was cool with it initially because I thought it was cool/empowering etc….but not cool with it at all!
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TRUE Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
yeah slim
Get over there after you leave the club and get to it
He comes over after he finished hanging out and you get to it
They key factor is the time of night you get there..only enough time to make it happen
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niasmomma Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Hemming and hawing and making space-filler conversations is for suckas! LMAO!
Seriously, though… We’re jumping off, not reuniting. If you’re my jump-off, I’ve definitely squeezed you in between two other appointments (Ex. I just left the nail shop and I’m having lunch with my girls at 2; it’s noon now, so I’ll slide you in right about here) so I won’t have a reason to linger once we’ve smashed. And vice versa, I’m sure.
In my younger days I might come over (or you come over), smoke a blunt or two, bang it out, and buh-bye. So yes, there’s conversation, but it’s just “filler”… No one’s trying to get philosophical and deep. I ain’t tryin’ to figure out how yo’ granny’s diabetes is doin’ or how well you did on your Chemistry final. You/I called, you/I came over solely to bang.
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Terry Lang Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
I would assume you wouldn’t just get undressed like a couple of robots. I’m sure the man and woman would have a drink, watch a movie – something to set the mood and open them up.
There’s an episode of Sex and the City when Carrie trys to date her “f*ck buddy” and fails. If you watch it you will see how the meet-up scene truly goes down.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
This is what I would assume, but a lot of women are making it seems like the process is even drier than that.
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Tunde Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
“Make small talk…put in a movie that you will probably get 20 minutes through…then tada!!”
-Black Toronto
^^^^
yeah i’m gonna go with something along those lines. lol
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i told a guy he was my jump off
LOL
He was like “cool”
I know I was the sidepeice before..*shrugs* it didn’t lower my self esteem
it was what it was
labels….like SBM says…make things WACK
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i just made a blogpost about women not always wanting or needing a relationship
a lot of women just like dating without sex , dating with sex, dating and not looking for a relationship
and there is nothing wrong with that nor nothing wrong with them
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Saw a real jumpoff on the streets of Mumbai a couple days ago, she looked like she was banking with a back like what she was carrying. Then she turned around and I realized she looked like a man. FML. Google: Hijra.
Signing off from India,
Stay classy ThreeWays visitors of North America!
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wish I had seen this post the day it came up.
I dont know about all this “if she is his jump off he can’t be her jump off” stuff. and i think i define jump off slightly differently.
yes a jump off is someone that you can be summoned by text, email, instant message (i try to stay away from the phone call but yes it has to be less than a minute if it happens) Yes a jump is someone that you would never have a real relationship with and someone you would never consider wifing or introducing to your friends
but in my experience the best jump off situations are the ones where both parties recognize that’s what it is and are comfortable with it.
If a girl doesnt realize she is your jump off and you randomly run into her at a bar when you are out with someone you are trying to make more than a jump off – then you have to figure out to explain that. especially since 8 out of 10 girls that are jump offs think there is more going on than there is. “oh he is just busy which is why we never hang out during the day time….” yeah girl keep tellin yourself that.
so for me things go best when both parties know what’s going on. Last night I saw my jump off in the bar tryin to get it poppin with someone… we did the head nod that was it… no drama, no explanations, no awkward “who is this” questions…
people might ask – what’s the difference then between my ideal jump off situation and having a F*ck buddy? simple – she/he isnt your buddy. to me a buddy is someone that knows your friends, or is in your friend circle (not your inner circle).
lastly… being a jump off does not make a girl/guy undateable/loose/one having low morals nor does it imply they have low self-esteem – as long as they arent multiple ppls jump offs.
i have one jump off, their know their place, i am their only jump off they are my only jump off, we both initiate the text messages that sometimes simply list a time and place, they understand it will never be more, they understand that it’s not that “i am so busy i dont have time for more” but that “this is all i want from you” we both also know we could get dropped if someone else came along that the other person wanted more from. it works.
wow that was long.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
June 7th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Yes, I do respond to comments on Sunday!
You make some good points though. You kinda got me thinking about another dimension of this. There seems to be this thought process of “I don’t care who he does in his spare time as long as he responds to my f*ck request.”
Clearly this doesn’t matter with one night stands and isolated incidents, but it is something that intrigues me. Like, if I had a regular “jump-off” I would somewhat care how many other dudes she’s piping aside from me. Not cuz I wanna date the chick, but just cuz it’s kinda a turn off if she’s pumped by multiple guys on a regular basis. So I guess it’s like I care what she does, but at the same time I don’t give a sh*t. I guess I just have territorial man syndrome. **shrugs**
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Just a Friend Reply:
June 7th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
see i guess thats what makes it a thin line between fbuddy and jump off… maybe it should be call aquaintance f*ck?
you dont want to be with someone who is giving everyone else the business and you really dont want to be with someone who has a SO but if there is no real conversation then how do you know these things?
i have always gone with “if you have an SO and dont tell me thats on you, if you have an SO and tell me then call me if you break that up”
i said above your jump off is someone you wouldnt consider introducing to your friends but that doesnt mean they dont know your friends. I met my JO at a party and they are on the complete outter circle of my friend group. I see them out maybe once a month but thats about it. When we started talkin at a party there was enough conversation between my friends and I to figure out if my JO was worth a one night stand and figure out if they were someone else’s one night stand last night or the night before… so i guess thats how i become comfortable knowing i am not one of 7 jump offs.
on top of that if your jump off arrangement lasts long enough regardless of what the agreement is – you start to know things about people. if you dont clean up for your jump off and they find someone else’s underwear in your bed (gross) or an earing in the bathroom (and you have no female roommates) then they are going to know they arent the only one (if they dont then no one can help them)
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Just a Friend Reply:
June 7th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
that should have been i see them in public about once a month
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oh yeah and a jump off arrangement should be ended as SOON as someone catches feelings. there is no “working through” feelings that a jump off has started having…
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ok so if a girl knows this guy for 1 year then on the summer they start talking and eventually having sex and the girl developes feels and the dude says that them been friends could leed to something more like a relationship, but later the girl finds out that it might not turn into something more and leaves his azz alone and find sombody who is gonna treat here like a prize is she a jump?
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:09 am
Dear Bum Mamma,
I would not consider the girl a jump off unless she was delusional and thought it might go somewhere even though he continuously said he wasn’t looking for a boobookins.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
December 30th, 2009 at 12:38 am
How does her thinking it would go somewhere make her a jumpoff?
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