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Ms. Jenkins’ Adventures in Growing Up, Vol. 1.5
Guess who’s bizzack!?! That’s right my good people. Finals are DONE! And life has returned to whatever it was before I needed to dedicate 16 hours a day for 3 weeks to studying for stupid exams. ::does cabbage patch::
But now that school is over and I have a little down time before I start my internship, I’m just like…what the hell do I do now? I don’t have to think about assignments or readings for tomorrow. So instead, I’m thinking about two things: relationships and jobs.
Before I started this current phase in my life, it was all about living year to year: getting through the school year, getting some semi-relevant job to hold me down for the summer, and then starting school again in the fall. Now, my summer job could needs to lead to a full time job after I graduate. I’m not sure I like that kind of pressure.
And for someone who has never had a job for longer than 12 weeks in the summertime, that idea scares the hell out of me. Like, do I have to know what I want to do? What city do I want to be in? What type of company do I want to work for? Do I want to try and make mad money, or make a difference? I think I’ll just wait for the job to start, and just go from there. This whole thinking about the future thing is too much for me.
What about relationships?
This new found downtime also has me thinking about being single, and what I would want in a new boo. After leaving one relationship (“official” or not), you would swear on the Good Book that you know what you are ready for next based on what lead to the demise. But sometimes, its not until you come across what you thought you wanted do you realize that you were good without that too.
So then where does that leave me? Thinking about all the zeros who have tried to holla, and the semi-heros that had some of the right stuff, but not quite enough. In both cases, knowing why things didn’t work out seems to be just as important as knowing why it did for as long as it did (or didn’t). What does that mean as far as I what I want from a new boo? Right now, I’m not really sure.
I guess if I’m thinking about the new job, or a new boo, knowing what I don’t want is just as important as knowing about I do want. If I know I don’t like really big companies, or fat men, it would behoove me not get caught in any positions with either one. But there are just so many things to think about, that I don’t really know where or how to begin. Hopefully in thinking about what I don’t want for the next step, some of the wants will begin to take shape. Or maybe not. Sigh. As I start to figure stuff out, I’ll fill yall in.
Good people, do you know what you don’t want? How did you get to that point? Or are you still floating around confused like me?
Sowhatiff – I thought I knew, but I have no idea- Jenkins
17 Responses to “Ms. Jenkins’ Adventures in Growing Up, Vol. 1.5”
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I know what I want out of both but I kind of fell into both of them. With my job, I was always on special projects and one day my manager asked if i could put together a “how to” document on the current sales application.. I did it, loved it and decided that It was something I could do longterm. I took the first opportunity that came down the pipe line and realized I loved instruction and curriculum design. Unfortunately my position was outsourced so I am back in a fake it to make it management position but I havent given up and at least I know what I want.
as far as men, after 2 very emotional merry go round rides of love I decided that it wasnt the money, or the looks, that was important but how I needed to be treated I threw everything else out the window and dated around with no expectations of anything but demanded a certain treatment. My husband was one of the few that could hang with my demands and hold his own demanding his own equal treatment…….we dated and he slowly became a part of life I couldnt do without.. and here it is almost 8 years later and I still feel the same way..
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Tiff I feel this post. I’m graduating next Sunday and am in hot pursuit of a job. When I entered college i planned on a BA in history and then going to law school. Somewhere along the way I got reacquainted with the Middle East, took several M.E. studies classes, and Arabic and am strongly considering going for my Phd in Middle Eastern studies. I spent 2 summers interning at law firms so i’m connected in the legal field but i’m on the fence about either getting my JD or Phd. I enjoy both tremendously but one pays…very well I might add and the other i’ll live comfortably but i won’t be balling out of control. I don’t know I think i’ll go for my MA and then see how I feel after…
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I am not 100% certain about my career- but I know exactly what I don’t want.
For both, for me, it was a series of trials and errors.
I do know what I want in a man and that came from dating all different kinds. I never really had a “type.”
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congrats on finishing 1L year!!!! But to the topic at hand, I still don’t know exactly what I want but trial and error has def helped me. Especially on the job front, there were many times I thought I had found the perfect gig only to realize something wasnt enough. The money is good but the work isn’t rewarding or vice versa, but no worries, you will know it when you find it and thats what summers are for.
As for the relationship thing, girl if you find out how to know exactly what you want in your mate then you need to write a book because that info would be priceless! But I totally admire you for continuing to try…I just gave up on that one and figured I would focuse on the things I can control.
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Growing up, I always wanted to be anything my mother wasn’t. She is a teacher, been teaching for almost 30 years. Being rebellious, I didn’t want to do anything that my mother did. So I enrolled in school as a business administration major. BORED THE EFF OUTTA ME. Then, I landed a job in a school system. Thus making me realize I wanted to be a teacher. A high school english teacher. So sometimes what you think you want out of a career is not usually the case.
As for a relationship goes, there’s a saying that I live by: “when you stop looking for your keys, is when you find them”. You just know that when you find them, you wont do the same thing to lead you to misplace them. Translation: Sometimes when you’re looking for something or someone to hold up to your standards, you feel as if you’re at a loss and will never find it. When you stop looking and chill out, it finds you, thus making it easier to weed out things you want/don’t want!
*sorry for the xtra long comment!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
May 11th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Stop apologizing! I told you about that!lol.
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ashbunnie Reply:
May 11th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Sheesh I forgot!
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
May 11th, 2009 at 10:27 am
“When you stop looking and chill out, it finds you, thus making it easier to weed out things you want/don’t want! ”
I agree with this. The man in my life now embodies stuff that I’d never even think about had I been making a list of wants. lol.
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shay_D_lady Reply:
May 11th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
When you stop looking and chill out, it finds you, thus making it easier to weed out things you want/don’t want! ”
I think this is all i was trying to say in my long ass post above…LOL
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Good post Tiff!
I felt the say way after I graduated Undergrad, and Grad, lol. I just knew that I wanted a career that I loved and made good $$. What I do now is a great career, that I found on the humble. However, I don’t know if I want to do that kind of work forever. Iknow I love writing and entertainment and sports, which is why I blog. Hopefully, I can break into this profession and make it full-time, but for now I truck in the position for which I “went to school”.
As far as relaionships, I know what I DON’T want. I also know that at this point unless some woman
tricks me into wifin her upchanges my mind, I’m playing the field. I think the worst mistake you can make is jumping into a relationship when you don’t know what you really want or you just hop in to “have a significant other”As long as you take your time and trust in yourself, you’ll be str8!
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What I want to do I can’t afford right now (i.e. start own business), therefore I’m have know idea what career I want until then. I get my MBA in June and I start a PMP certificate course series in June as well. But do I really want to be a certified PMP… I don’t know. A BA, MBA, and PMP looks good on paper, I do like projects, I do like the money that will come with it… but will I be happy, satisfied, or just content??? We all have to do what we have to, to get where we want to go. Eh
With relationships, you never know exactly what you’re looking for and want in someone until you meet them and you have this overwhelming connection. The thing is to know what you will absolutely not tolerate and go from there. We set too many boundaries and walls that we may miss out on someone that is perfect for us. Something you don’t like in this dude maybe something that this new dude does as well, but his other qualities make it attractive or less of a concern. True love has no requirements, or notarized lists. It just is. Be patient, be true to you, and don’t go looking for love, let love find you.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
May 11th, 2009 at 10:10 am
I staff PM’s on assignments all the time. PMP is the move. Some companies would take that over an MBA. It’s kinda weird. These certification things get pretty costly though. I’m still trying to hash out the personal trainer certification thing. Thought I was gonna do it through one organization, but now I realized there’s a better one for what I wanna do. Arg. Decisions Decisions!
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Reign Reply:
May 11th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I know and PMP is not an easy application or exam… and it’s def not cheap. Decision decisions is so true. But what else am I going to do right? sigh
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First off, Tiff, glad you’re done with finals! Exhale, woosah, sigh of relief, all that good jazz.
Tiff – “Hopefully in thinking about what I don’t want for the next step, some of the wants will begin to take shape.”
Imma get all spiritual for a sec. *burns incense*
I think the key to the whole thing to thinking what you want and having it manifest is that you have to think what you want. Do not think of what you don’t want. Because you’re gonna be focusing and spending so much time on the thing you don’t want, then that will manifest. Only think of what you do want. That’s according to the law of attraction mumbo jumbo that I really think works. It’s something that I’m working very hard to focus on…it’s not easy since we’re ya know, human.
Okay. *puts out incense*
As far as that stagnant feeling, I know it all too well. I had to wait a little over a year after graduation at my mama’s crib before I got my day job. Now, granted it’s not what I want for a career, which is why I consciously refer to it as my day job. My career is screenwriting. Now, I don’t get paid for it yet, but I’m working on that. Anyhow, the day job gives me enough time to work on my writing and it’s so run-of-the-mill, not-spontaneous-at-all, every-day-is-the-same type job that it practically has me salivating for a creative outlet. The monotony sorta serves as a balance to what I do whe I get off of work. Plus the people are mad cool and most are young and also in the same position I’m in terms of the “career vs day job” battle.
Another thing is that I have mastered the multi-window juggle to work on outlining my scripts and I jump back to what I’m supposed to be doing should the Director of our department happen to breeze by…which is rare.Men? I love them and
knowhave a pretty good idea what I want in one. The best I can do is have fun meeting different types until I find the one that is good for me…or he finds me. I’m open to both.Reply
Tiff, congrats on finishing your 1L in one piece… yayy!! Gives me some hope for when I start this fall =).
so, as far as career is concerned, i’ve also been all over the place for the last few years. when i was in UG, i was convinced that i wanted to be a hot shot corporate lawyer. then junior yr came around… my mom got sick, then i questioned leaving home to go to law school full-time. in turn, i ended up taking this consulting gig to help out at home and figure out what i wanted to do with my life. i somehow convinced myself that i instead wanted a MBA or MPA, but after my first year in the corporate world, i was like no way lol. two years later, i’m heading to law school with hopes of working for the government (there’s nothing like public sector work!). now, i just have to figure out the best way i can give back as my career and then what my side-hustle will be so that i can rake in that extra cash
.
another good thing that came out of the last three years is my dating/relationship situation. because i had to travel so much for work, i had more time to focus on myself and figure out what i was really looking for. i’ve been on a lot of dates (when i had the free time) with some cool dudes without the pressure of figuring out if any of them is my “ideal match.” nowadays, i’m all about going with the flow (read: having fun and doing me) and then seeing who sticks around when all is said and done. i find that the less i focus on getting in/being in a relationship, the more options i have to choose from when i am ready to be in one. so my only advice would be to go out there and have fun =)! the rest will fall in place at the right time…
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congratulations on passing your finals. as far as careers i’ve also been thinking about what i want to do next. i’m less than a year out and i have a lot of options ahead of me.
1. should i go directly to law school (intellectual property). i’ve already been in school for the last 21-22 years of my life. i think i need a break. but then i think to myself that law school is only three years. about the same amount of time i would spend doing a post-doctoral fellowship.
2. do i want to really go into law or do i want to stay in biomedical research. law will definitely afford me more opportunities as far as income but research will allow me to have more of a life outside or work.
3. if i stay in research do i want to work in academia, industry or for the government. on this option i think i’m leaning towards the latter.
4. regardless of what option i choose. i moving back to dc. the south is cool but its not for me. 5-6 years is enough.
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AWWW
I really feel like I dont fit in this convo..but its really really cute
I dont have “plans” for my life, not anymore..I used to.
I have a job, it pays the bills, I do what I love for free (write, review, give my opinion, socialize) until I start profiting from it
Far as relationships go, I think cause i was already married, then I’m not all pressed for that either.
I am just going with the flow in my life and happy doing so…
who woulda thunk it..when I finally let go of my list and stop thinking that “success” and marriage defined me, i was less stressed
I dont know why I posted that, I hope some of you can get something from it
*Shrugs*
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