Miss Lady vs. Ms. Freak-a-leek

Posted by Miss Jenkins on February 3, 2009 - 61 Comments
Sex

As a follow up to talk about civil rights leaders and such, I thought it’d be appropriate to talk about sex. Hehehe.

As I grow more into my womanhood, I find myself doing a lot a reflecting on where I have come from, and thinking about where I still have to go. In thinking about all that, thoughts about sex come into the picture. I think about how I started, what I thought it should be like, and how different experiences have taught me lots about myself and the art of thronxing. The conclusion of all this: I just might be a lady in the street, and a freak in the bed.

Growing up with Lil Kim and Foxy Brown as the examples of what a “freak” was, I was always like “Ewww”. And growing up in the 1990′s when children still looked, thought, and behaved like children, I think I may not have been too unlike other girls. I remember thinking that getting “it” from the back was gross. And no, I wasn’t “putting it in my mouth”. I didn’t want to tell Luda what my fantasy was or, answer Kim’s query regarding how many licks it took to get to my center. I used to think those songs were too much.

Boy was I wrong. Listening to those songs now, I have to pay attention to where I am, as to not put my business in the street. Back then, I just couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of what it meant for a woman to be a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed. But now, I know how real she is.

What’s wrong with being a freak in the street?

From the male perspective (speculation here) I guess he doesn’t really want to wife up a chic who looks like a freak. You’ve seen her before. She may even be your cousin, Kee-lolo. She’s the type of woman that likes to dress scantily whether she is going to the supermarket or the club. She wears boots with the fur and fish nets. All her clothes are made of some combination of lycra, polyester, and spandex. This is the kind of woman who just looks like she’s looking for a wicked slam. Do men really want to bring that home?

Kenyon Martin wifed up Trina. Everyone knows their sex is probably great, but…can he take her anywhere? And look at Lil Kim. Smh. In addition to her looking all plastic, there is no mystery to her anymore. You’ve seen all her goodies and we know who they have brought to the yard.

A lady in the street…

Who wouldn’t want one of these? Even the “uneducated” rapper types talk about her. So I know the educated brothers want her too. This kind of woman doesn’t chew like a heffer. She can wear the hell out of a pair of pumps, fully clothed or not. She carries herself well, and knows how to act in front of company. She’s classy, well groomed, gainfully employed and/or ambitious (times are hard), and basically fly.

Who is also a freak in the bed…

I don’t really need to go into much detail here. The same lady that holds it down in the board room, can take one of two roles in the bed room: grabbing the reins, or playing the submissive type. Maybe some combo of the two. Or add another role to mix it up. She’s not afraid to give the good-good, and try new things. Hanging from chandeliers? She’s down for it. Edible clothing? Sure, why not. Just ask, and assure her that her wrap won’t be ruined (cuz she does have to work in the morning) and she may be willing to give it a go.

So let’s talk about this woman. Who is she? Is it hard to play both roles? Why don’t guys want to wife up the freak-in-the-street? Don’t be shy…

About Miss Jenkins

Miss Jenkins has written 164 articles on this blog.

She enjoys writing in a way that evokes emotion and self-reflection, while still remaining true to the G she is.

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Tags: being a lady, Foxy Brown, freaky thangs, Kain Steffens, Lil Kim, she's a freak, wifey material

61 Responses to “Miss Lady vs. Ms. Freak-a-leek”

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Senorita

February 3, 2009 at 11:49 pm

Lady in the street + freak in the sheets is the definition of a Pisces woman.

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Royal Empress Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 11:04 am
….So true…I’m a Pisces…dude I was dealing was like “I never would’ve thought u was sooooo rude”…lol

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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 11:20 am
I’m a Pisces as well. We are indeed a special breed…

and sensual…

real sensual….at least I am.

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ife1love Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Co-sign… We ARE the definition!!!

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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Pisces holla!

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Katchin05 Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Hey now! Please don’t forget about us Scorpio ladies! All that direct confidence & willingness to work in the boardroom transfers very well to other places in life.

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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
whooot whooooooooot!!!!!!!!
Scor-pi-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Nyela Goodness Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
cooooooooooo-sign! scorpio’s bring that fiya!

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Satya Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Scorpio’s wooooo hooooo

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JG* Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 11:41 am
As Leo I feel as though I don’t even have to say anything.

LOL grrr

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Cheekie Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
@JG*

Leos stand UP. Hear us roar.

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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Do zodiac signs make that much of a difference though? How does one really know?

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Cheekie Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
I think, in general, a lot of people tend to take horoscopes with a grain of salt unless you’re into horoscopes hardcore. But, with any quirk that tends to repeat itself with same-sign people, we usually attribute that quirk to the entire sign (i.e. dem Gemini’s are crazy!) and that includes sexual tendencies, of course.

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Cant think of anything to rhyme with Peyso Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Also remember that if your near the beginning or the end of the cycle for your sign, you have some of their qualities and characteristics.

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Brooklyn's Own Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
“(i.e. dem Gemini’s are crazy!) ”

THIS STATEMENT IS TOTALLY FALSE! Gemini’s (which is the best sign ever) are not CRAZY but rather MISUNDERSTOOD INDIVIDUALS…

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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Sorry dog,

Geminis have been responsible for some of the worst times in my life.lol. Sorry to our gemini readers. I still love yall, just can’t date ‘cha

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Ms. V Reply:
September 9th, 2009 at 3:36 am
Stop your whining we’re just too much for your personality to handle. Maybe that’s why you had the worst times with a gemini.

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Slim Jackson Reply:
September 9th, 2009 at 5:23 am
Got me responding at odd hours. You’re right. Perhaps that was it. Too much for me. That’s fine.lol. Back to bed.

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Cheekie Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
LMAO @ Brooklyn’s Own. I knew someone would refute that comment. It’s really one of those things I hear more often than I experience, though. Mama is a Gemini, but she’s much calmer than other ones I know. Maybe it’s because she’s a June Gemini? There’s this whole ‘nother theory on what kind of sign you are based on which of the two months you fall on.

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niasmomma Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
So sorry, Slim for all the natural twins that have caused you distress, but I MUST represent for the sexy, savvy, adventurous, exotic, passionate, sexually open-minded, pleasure-loving Gemini’s out there!
The lady in the sheets/freak in the bedroom is only one of the dichotomous personalities that a woman must assume (if she is to be taken seriously). A woman who is too much of a prude is boring and, if you ask me, sexually immature. Who wants to be intimate with a woman with all these hoops to jump through, miconceptions, myths, and outright sexual ignorance to overcome? You 25 and you STILL don’t think he should put his mouth “down there”? SIT DOWN!
On the other hand, who wants to be intimate (long term) with a woman who you’re sure, just by outward appearances, is a slut, skeeza, tramp, hoe, loose woman, whathaveyou? A woman who goes to the grocery store braless with half her ass hanging out of her way too short already shorts? A woman who is always overly made up, reeking of perfume, with a prominent camel toe/moose knuckle displayed (even if she’s wearing a skirt – lol) giving the fellas hella sensory overload, hoping she can land a “good man”? A woman whose sexual reputation precedes her; hell, she might’ve even been passed around by a couple of the homies? She’s a walking f*ck doll who mistakenly thinks her look, her “hoe swag” is cute. SIT DOWN!
A good woman, taking into account she has her other woman-responsibility bases covered, is successful when she can artfully and appropriately blend the two personas. I’m a school teacher. My man tells me all the time how sexy it is that I can be so professionally dressed, well-spoken, and “proper” during the day, but so damn nasty (I’m a huge fan of dirty talk), insatiable even at times, at night.
He’s a Gemini, too, though. What does HE know?

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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
The only reason you and your man work so well is cuz the ugly halves of each of you go off start fires and wreak havoc while the nice halves get together for sensual sexin.lol.

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YEAISAID IT Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:33 pm
I MUST AGREE SLIM JACKSON

U R VERY INTUITIVE

THATS Y niasmomma IS MAD

BECUZ U C THRU HER BULLSHIT

I CURRENTLY DATE A GEMINI NEVEA AGAIN

N SEX IS NOT ALL THAT LOL

ARIES BABY

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Butterscotch Drop Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Niasmomma I will definitely agree with you! I to am a Gemini and not to toot my own horn…i’ve never had any complaints in the bedroom, nor in public. I have a master’s degree in Math and working on my PHD. I’m 25 years old and have a man that I’ve been with for almost 4 years. I know how to act in public and around company, but I do have a VERY HIGH SEX DRIVE, plus I’m so into pleasing my man and making him the center of attention…that’s how I get off…who wouldn’t want me as their wife!!!

And for Slim Jackson…sit down somewhere with your ignorant behind!!

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Slim Jackson Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Really though? Ignorant? C’mon now.

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YEAISAID IT Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Butterscotch Drop

WHATS 4 YEARS TO 10?

SLIM JACKSON I GOT UR BACK

I AM A ARIES N ITS ALL TRUE WHAT U SAID

THEY ARE KRAZY

N THOSE SAME BYTCHES TALKING THAT SHY THE BIGGEST HOES

THEY JUST MAD BECAUZ U KALLED THEM OUT

THE GUY IM WITH IS ONE AND HIS EX IS ONE

WANNA KNOW Y THEY COULDNT MAKE IT

TWICE THE HOEING AND KRAZINESS

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Denise Reply:
April 25th, 2010 at 5:33 pm
omg….im a pisces too……..i can co sign on the whole idea…..lady in the street…….u know the rest!!! xoxo

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Badboylovin'goodgirl Reply:
October 20th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
I’m late but this post describes me. and yes, I’m a Pisces

thanks for the laugh

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Ironman

February 4, 2009 at 2:39 am

Two reasons a guy wouldn’t wife up the freak in the street:
1 – Afraid of what other people will say. Your boys will give you all sorts of props for bagging the town bicycle. It’s the manly thing to do. As soon as you look like your catching feelings though, eyebrows raise. Everyone will look at you as getting caught, and most likely laugh behind your back…or to your face. This is most probably because of reason 2
2- A freak in the streets that’s also faithful is like an honest car salesman – they might exist, but it’s doubtful you’re gonna find one. If a girl is out there like that about what she’s got, chances are you won’t be the only one getting the goodies. Who wants to set themselves up to get caught slippin like that?

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Nicki Sunshine

February 4, 2009 at 8:23 am

It’s not hard to play both roles but it can get challenging… sometimes that lady in the streets with all that ambition is too tired to hang from chandeliers.

But all it takes is a little understanding from the man, and we’re all good.

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Cant think of anything to rhyme with Peyso

February 4, 2009 at 10:43 am

You dont wife up that freak in the street for the same reason that I bring my own boxing gloves to the gym; everybody done used them jawns. I dont want what EVERYONE had. A corner of the block that’s cool, but the whole damn block? Unacceptable.

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JG*

February 4, 2009 at 10:47 am

I blogged a little on this a bit ago.
http://rantsofawildchild.wordpress.com/2008/12/22/wifey-where-are-you/

It was a different spin, but I came to the conclusion that men don’t want a freak at ALL unless they are the ones to make her.

Womp womp womp.

Men are such crazy little things. They want what they can’t have, have what they need, don’t even recognize it.

Keep doin ya thang tho. LOL

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ChokLitFacory Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 11:12 am
I would say, it probably depends on the guy. Some guys will take whatever they can get…

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Cant think of anything to rhyme with Peyso Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 11:31 am
I’m more than happy to inherit a freak just not a freak that everyone else has already inherited

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Southern Belle Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
I feel the same way about men. I don’t think I could be comfortable enough to sexually be myself with a man who has swept all the chimney’s in the neighborhood. Selfishly, I would want him to know he’s part of a small population to feel my ~~walls~~ goods. I’ve always liked that look he gives me mid-sex like, “You really took me by surprise, Mrs. Officer.”

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Cant think of anything to rhyme with Peyso Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
i’ll sweep ur chimney any day lol jk (unless ur not) lol

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Southern Belle Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
lmao. Why do I feel like threeways is one big orgy? you flirt with someone new everyday e-boo, this is not a train. There will be no chimney sweeping between peyso and belle, dog house for you…for now.

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Cant think of anything to rhyme with Peyso Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Why must I feel like that? Why must I chase the cat? Nothing but the dog in me……

I e-flirt with them but they dont mean nothing, its you who I’m in e-luv with. I e-travel to our e-home to see every e-night dont e-I (that’s just weird, we might be goin to far w/ our e-luv affair lolol jk)

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Southern Belle Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
HAHAHA that just made my day!
e-xoxox

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RightCoastLexSteele, Chimney Sweeper Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
You gotta find a freak…I got enough freak for both of us, but all that time I spend teaching, we could be gunnin’. Teaching is cool, but 2 freaks in a bed get funny looks in the telly lobby during continental breakfast in the morning.

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niasmomma Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
LMAO @ 2 freaks in a bed get funny looks in the telly lobby during continental breakfast in the morning.

One day in the earlier months of our courtship (< “lady like language”) we had an impromtu rendezvous at a hotel. As he was walking me to my car (I left school in the middle of the day and was on my way back – Thanks for covering for me, Mr. Harris) the housekeeper (an older black lady) beckoned for him to come over, that she had something to tell him. Upon listening to what she whispered in his ear he laughed SO loud others in the lobby turned to see. When he approached me he told me the old lady’s sage words of wisdom: “Next time y’all come, you might wanna bring a muzzle for her.” LMAO! Needless to say I was both embarrassed and turned on for what I then knew she overheard. Bad?

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Cheekie

February 4, 2009 at 11:09 am

I’m probably the only virgine (aka Tina Tightstuff…I like that actually…lol) on here…or who has put it out there, but I have a question. When you did keep it tight, did you ever imagine yourself being the “freak in the bed” type? Because I do. I may keep the hymen in tact, but I’m no prude when it comes to the matters of sex (yes, even with my Mama…probably who I got it from). Ninjas have even said that I’m a “freak” before (how they would know that, Jeebus knows).

You know when you just know that someone has potential? That’s how I feel about moi. Maybe it’s because I have sexual frustration or something rumbling inside me, waiting to get out. Lookin’ forward to finding that special ninja who will see that side of me full-blast (I think there’s a pause in there somewhere…).

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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 11:22 am
If I had the technical expertise, I’d just slap ~~my piece~~ a big PAUSE logo across your comment right now.lol.

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Black & Trapped in Toronto

February 4, 2009 at 11:30 am

Hey how about the undercover hoe? They too get wifed up all the time..play the role, look the part, but eventually the whore in them surfaces and ends up breaking your heart.
They are the kind that even their closest gf’s dont know is a hoe…real grimey sleep with your brother, uncle, boyz…..
I dont know what’s worst Trina or the undercover…men keep your eyes open……

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RightCoastLexSteele, Chimney Sweeper Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Only suckers get wifed up by undercover hoes…the main reason being they arent experienced in the ways of “game” or are just too dumb to see the signs.

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Anesidora

February 4, 2009 at 11:34 am

Guys like to feel like what they have is “special” and something only they have experienced, even if that’s a total delusional lie. So if you’re out there showing your hand to everyone, what’s left to play later? And bottom line, hoes are just not respected. So if you look like a hoe, well…. not to be respected.

I will say though, that “freak” is an attitude and state of mind and a demeanor… you can be fully covered and still get the “Cot damn she’d put a hurting on someone!” reaction (which I have from men I’ve worked with while wearing work friendly attire, and I’m relatively covered even when I go out). If you are dressing like a freak, you just end up looking like a hoe. And there is a difference. I’ve known hoes who will only do standard sex acts and freaks who have only been with 1 person.

But then again…who he heck knows what y’all ninjas want??? Cuz when you DO get the ideal “lady in the streets/freak in the sheets”, then the question becomes “well where did she learn THAT from??” and then THAT becomes a problem. Its a no win.

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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 11:39 am
But then again…who the heck knows what y’all ninjas want??? Cuz when you DO get the ideal “lady in the streets/freak in the sheets”, then the question becomes “well where did she learn THAT from??” and then THAT becomes a problem. Its a no win.

Unfortunately, I have to agree with this too. As one of my boys best stated it, dudes just gotta stop wondering where and how she learned and just reap the rewards of her experience.

I laughed at him and said “yeah right”.

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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
So if she has all the lady in the street qualities that make her “wifeable” but she does some extra freaky stuff one night, you’d be willing to peace out on her just b/c you “thought” she may have learned it from being a freak in the streets? A girl’s gotta learn from someone…

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Seattle Washington Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Eh, she could’ve gotten it from Cosmo or took one of those stripper classes…

Yeah, ignorance is bliss.

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CVal Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Co-sign

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temps Reply:
February 5th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Women have to deal with this as well. You want me to rock your boat really well that can only come from repetition, for that to be as a man I have A) been with multiple women or B) one woman for a long time-which would or should make the next chick wonder what went wrong?..of course some women assume that chick is a dummy and a fool to let this Good D flee-so it goes both ways

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MaPockets

February 4, 2009 at 12:56 pm

This is a great post. I loved it. On another kinda-related topic: back in the day, I never saw any truth in the “it’s always the quiet ones that you least expect”…til it turned out to be me. Sigh. Wish I had more to say, but I’m ~~gettin’~~ busy in the boardroom…gotta go!

P.S. that was my first strike!! I’m geeked up!!!!

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Slim Jackson Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I actually read the last part of your comment as “gettin’ busy in the bathroom.”

Then I was disappointed.

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Nyela Goodness Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Yay to your first strike! Now if you could just get that “Reply” thing down…

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MaPockets

February 4, 2009 at 2:14 pm

oh no. that’s just not sanitary.

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Southern Belle Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
lol. i love it.

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Nyela Goodness

February 4, 2009 at 2:34 pm

This is a great post! While it’s important to maintain that SBW demeanor in the streets, it’s particularly important that we have some flexibility with regard to the pleasure provided in the pleasing palace of our bedrooms.

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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Pleasing palace- luv it

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RightCoastLexSteele, Chimney Sweeper

February 4, 2009 at 5:25 pm

So Tiff…what I’m hearing is…you used to be scared of the d*ck…now you throw lips to the shit? Handle it like a real chick? Well good for you!

It really comes down to discretion. A well put together woman could be the biggest whore alive while the scantily clad lady could be harder to get into than Yale. Stranger things have happened. But no matter what you look like or how you present yourself, as long as you can be discrete about your actions, you can preserve your lady-ness.

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CVal Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
I have met said scantly clad woman…and believe me, its annoying. Its like Chappelle said: if you dress like a freak, don’t get mad if you’re mistaken for a freak!

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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Yeah, I don’t know if dressing scantily lends itself to the discretion you refer to. It invites assumptions (rightly or not) about the woman in the boots with the fur and shiny lycra spandex.

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Vanessa aka Miss V

February 4, 2009 at 7:34 pm

i think that i’m both a lady in the streets and a lady in the bedroom. yeah it sounds kind of boring, but i think i wanna save the “freak” for my husband… gotta give him something to look forward to since i’m not down with the Vs anymore.

but surprisingly, dudes seem to like this idea because they see me as a “challenge” which is cool. plus, it’s always cool to see their reaction when i hit em off with a lil something something that they weren’t expecting.

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