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No Love in This Club
A few weeks ago, I went out to this little night spot/club with some of my peoples. It was against my better judgment, but I went anyway. I had a couple dranks, was enjoying the music, and felt a little loose. Not like go home with random dude loose. But I moved my body a little freely, and was more inclined to dance, either alone or pressed up on a dude. As expected, there were way more women in the spot than men. But for once, the ratio between Black men and Black women was actually ::gasp:: in my favor. So I was like cool, maybe I can get in a dub or two before I leave for the night. To my surprise, this was not the case.
Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t walk into a spot feeling entitled to anything. No, I don’t think (or want) dudes to flock to me. I’m fly, but I’m not always the baddest chick in the room. Fair enough. But never have I or my girls ever been completely overlooked and ignored in favor of…
White girls.
Yeah I said it. Here I am, cute and feeling frisky, amidst a group of drunken and extra frisky Jens and Kaitlins. And I gots no love. Even as a by stander, I saw it happen my friends, and the other Black girls in the spot. Granted, I can’t really say affirmatively why this was the case. But I have a few postulations…
The Black men in this spot didn’t like Black women.
Which is “fine.” In light of Seattle’s good post, I have started to think about this whole selection and interracial dating thing differently. Maybe they were not attracted to Black women. Whatever works.
They were looking for something in particular.
I will not say what this particular is, but you can imagine what I am thinking. White girls + lots of dranks x Black men + off-beat simulated pole dancing = interesting stories about hooking up. I could be wrong, but we’ve all seen those Girl’s Gone Wild commercials and have seen the action our Black male friends get from the friendly co-eds.
Maybe my friend’s dancing blocked my chances.
You ever have a friend who has some attribute that can sort of ruin the moment for all those nearby? For some people, its their overly negative attitude. For others, it may be how they handle their dranks. But for my friend, it was her dancing. And poor thing thought she was doin’ it out there. I tried to be supportive, yet protective of my own dance floor image, so I kept a little space between us. But maybe not enough.
By the end of the night, I had gotten over it. But I just thought it was interesting. I mentioned feeling like I had on black man repellant to the girls I rolled with, and they too felt snubbed by the Black dudes in the spot. I guess such is life.
Has something like this ever happened to you (men or women)? Do you ever find yourself avoiding certain types of people in the club (besides the obviously unattractive snaggle toothed broads and dudes)? Do share.
Sowhatiff – All I wanted was a dub – Jenkins
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There are some clubs here that I would not even go to because they are known to be catered to black men and white girls. Some of the girls I hang out with are white, so it makes it hard for us to hang out (I don’t like going to “their” clubs and I don’t think they feel very comfortable at my usual clubs.
My cousin.. when we went to Miami on my birthday, I was pissed bc her and her friend weren’t dressed up (like you know you are supposed to) which I know caused us not to get in a club… But I’m glad no one said anything to them about it bc I would have stepped up and had to take off a stiletto for them. lol
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#1 – O I’d give you a dub.
#2 – Blame it on the friend, she ruined it. Unless you were at a primarily 2520 spot, the white girls shouldnt have been a problem. Sounds like you were at Marbar.
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“I tried to be supportive, yet protective of my own dance floor image, so I kept a little space between us. ”
this made me LOL.
I’m not really sure if it was your friend or #1- the guys in the spot just didn’t like black women. I personally have never had this happen to me. But I have just started to frequent mixed bars/lounges, and its usually with a group of friends male and female, or my S/O so I’m not really looking for any action or paying attention to if we’re not getting checked for….
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Girl, it happens. Trust me, when something like this occurs, just laugh at the tragedy. THEIR tragedy, not yours. Want who you want, love who you love – but in the end, there are those Black men who hate their sisters and show it. I had a co-worker like that – he spent most of his time chasing this older white chick and she continually stabbed him in the back until he got fired. Showed the texts he sent her at lunch so people could laugh, snitched when he was late and told why and errythang.
But the club – I’m in the DMV and I only see this happen in DC area VA and sometimes in MoCo. This is usually the wacktastic behavior of wannabe uppity negroes – the ones who feel they are both snubbing the man and moving on up by feeling on flat booty.
Although – and I hate to say this – in general white folks are much more fun to party with. I hung out a few weeks ago with some random rich white folks (like, elevator in the house and 10 cars worth upwards of 50K type rich) and we ended up in their garage (which was bigger than my apartment) playing tip cup, drinking moonshine and doing the booty call.
PS – I may be showing my age, but what the heck is a dub now? I thought dub referred to rims and weed.
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Streetz: The Living Legend Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Dub is another word for close dance where a womon places her boty pon di next man an grind di bloodcleet! so to speak..lol
>>Although – and I hate to say this – in general white folks are much more fun to party with.
THIS! Yo YTs have madd fun! I miss college :’(
I saw a post where some1 talked about brothers hating sistas thats why they didn’t want to dance. I will say this may prove true in some cases but let’s be careful when making blanket statements.
Maybe the white girls were more receptive and open to dancing with them and approached them first. The law of averages say that if the # of WW > # of black women, they may dance with more of the WWs.
I would actively seek WOMEN to dance with in the club. probably sisters more because our white counterparts are rhythmically challenged most of the time, lol.
Either way, leave the lames alone Tiff! You about to be a lawyer in a few years you don’t need them dudes,
and im looking for a sugar mama and a lawyer would fit perfectly in my plans, so send me a facebook friend request and lets make magic happenso keep dancing, lol.Reply
Peyso Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:12 am
2520s get it POPPED!!! As a member of the football team at a PWI, I had the great opportunity of getting it popped with them for the free. That is where i became a flip cup, quarters, beer pong expert
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Satya Reply:
May 13th, 2009 at 12:55 am
I am a master at flip cup. I challehenge u to an e-game of it. And to top it off I play with rum
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Brookland's OWn Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:21 am
“Want who you want, love who you love – but in the end, there are those Black men who hate their sisters and show it.”
Now the first part of your statement I totally agree with however, how do you figure Black men hate their sisters and not dancing w/them is a way to show it? Seems kind of biased.
Newayz Tiff, just live your life homey. Get your mingle and fun on. Besides, unless directly introduced to someone in the club by someone you know, its probably not a good idea to look for a mate in the club unless you’re just looking for a one night stand or to just hook up because that’s what most of the dudes are prolly looking for. And since in the back of dudes minds, they figure the black females will battle more than the white females, the dance and dry hump w/them.
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Anna Nimous Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 11:10 am
I’m not saying that all brothas who don’t dance with sistas hate us – but we know the look when we see it. Like we’re wearing poison ivy necklaces or something, and Becky has the calamine lotion. But that’s why I referenced my co-worker – he is THAT dude, in or out of the club.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
“And since in the back of dudes minds, they figure the black females will battle more than the white females, the dance and dry hump w/them.”
Good point. I guess skipping me and going straight to Jen was more efficient.
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RightCoastLexSteele, Mr. Mention Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Very efficient. Besides homie, I can see you in the club leering at dude over your Cartier frames like “Is this fool serious?” Or maybe that’s just the look you give me. Either way, whyched women rock!
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The sodium content in this post is HIGH. Let those brothers be. Brothers have a tendency to put on the Elmer Fudd and go bunny hunting, you guys were probably intruding on their predetermined plan.
Let me help you with a plan, give some white dude some head in VIP, that’ll really piss em off.
@Anna – You forgot to mention that whenever there’s a rumor that a Redskin or Wizard will be in the club, the bunnies show up in groves. And these women have that boom boom pow, no pancakes for breakfast.
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Peyso Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:31 am
I concur with this post
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Anna Nimous Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 11:16 am
“And these women have that boom boom pow, no pancakes for breakfast.”
I know! When did these big booty white chicks come on the scene?? They didn’t make em like that back in the day. And not all of em have surgery either – they just be prayin’ to JLo every night, lol.
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Ms Jenkins,
I feel your pain on this one. One of my really good friends is a 2520. If her & I are in the club together, the black men are approaching her. Meanwhile I’m getting hit on by the rhythm-less 2520 men. I will just never understand it.
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Streetz: The Living Legend Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:15 am
im sorry, 2520 didnt make my ebonics lexicon. Can someone please enlighten me?
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Cheekie Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Oh, you needs to get on this one streetz. I encourage everyone to use this in everyday life as to avoid being suspect amongst the melanin-challenged.
2520 is code for a white person. You may have heard them referred to as “YT” (say it out loud). Y=25th letter of alphabet; T=20th letter of alphabet.
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Dr. J Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:22 am
25th letter is Y, 20th is T… YT = whitey.
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Streetz: The Living Legend Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:26 am
Genius. Pure Genius
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Raqi Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:33 am
I love learning new words! I must share this with my friends. We have run out of ways to say it. We’ve been saying WP, completely void of creativity. WP= white people, in case you missed it…
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
I have been enlightened.
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Cheekie Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
I love it ‘cuz it just rolls off your tongue all smooth-like. Whoever came up with this (the general consensus is that it was first seen over at VSB) is all kinds of genius.
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What I heard is that brothas think a lot of us don’t like to dance. Like a lady actually coming to the club to dance and not to gather ’round her friends and clown on other folks having fun and dancing. Either it’s because they think they’re too cool, they don’t wanna sweat out their ‘do, or they’re sick and tired of men trying to dance-rape them as soon as they get onto the dance floor.
I’ve heard this too many times to write it off. So, I have to ask, even if these 2520 chicks do the white man’s overbite may not have that “soul” or rhythm, they still get out there and dance, in general. No hang-ups involved. That’s the general consensus of many ninjas out there.
Now, me? They can’t throw that excuse at me. When I go to the club, I dance. That’s what I’m effing there for. To feel the music and do what I love. And of course, blame any and everything on the alcohol the morning after.
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Ms. Jenkins:
You ever been in a club and a dude comes up to you for a dance and you hit them with, “Nah, I”m good, I’m just chillin’ with my girls tonight?”
You just witnessed the male version. Sometimes we’re in a white girl mood. It happens.
Don’t let it get you down. Just drink some prune juice and let that s–t go.
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Brookland's OWn Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 10:29 am
“Don’t let it get you down. Just drink some prune juice and let that s–t go”
LMAO! But tru spit…
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
lol. fair enough.
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Girl I feel you…I’m sick of that whole scene! (<<<also showing my age :p)
..regardless of the wet dogs and vulture/knuckleheads
I think maybe you need to start hanging @ a club/lounge with an older crowd..not necessarily a saditty crowd…but older & more mature
Sound like the place you went to had a bunch of soulja boy skinny jean wearing knuckleheads who wouldn’t know a quality woman if they saw one.
For my bday last year..me and the ladies happened to take a chance and go into the free club..i found 2520 (baby’s first 2520!!) girls wanting to dance with me and when i stared blankly and distanced myself they took their drunk wet dog smelling b-hinds underneath a showerhead (water running) that was elevated above the dance floor..only to get surrounded by the vultures..pathetic cry for attention..thats why they get sick so often- dummies!
But on a positive note…if the music is banging and the drinks are complimentary I’ll have fun anywhere
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lol
i too am gettin tired of the club, not hanging out …just the regular club
I dont like someone’s random nassy dick on me..even tho the alcohol may prove different
I dont like the younguns feeling like they gon take you home
I hate the uppity broads worse than anything
and my old ass may want somewhere to sit down for a few minutes lol
anyway
I dont ever remember being anywhere at a club and not getting no kinda play
but I do agree that the yt’s party waaaaaaaay better than fake & bougie black girls (oh…hoodrats PARTYYYYY Too…lol..and Im not hating or looking down..)
Shoot..when I partied at the mostly yt spots I’d get hit on by some men other than black
lol
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Ha! I’ve had this happen so many times that I don’t even get upset anymore. I get my flirt/dance on w/ the 2520 dudes all night and have a ball (if you are ever in need of compliments, drunk 2520 dudes are all you will ever need). I don’t worry about whether the black dudes in the club think I’m snubbing them, but I don’t pick dudes up in a club anyway.
I will say that I’ve noticed that when I go into a mostly melanin-deficient spot, that the black dudes in there do the active avoidance of eye contact. Look, I’m not going to go all Angela Davis on you with your preference for the Beckies and whatnot.
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I have experienced this countless times when I used to live in Boston. Now that I live in NYC that doesn’t happen at all. In my personal experience, black men in NYC don’t seem to discriminate against black women with that much frequency.
I remember going out with my friends in college (in Boston), and one of our friends is white, and she only dates black men. No matter what we looked like or how “friendly” we were, most of the Black men we encountered (not only just in clubs), were just not interested. However, they would be breaking their necks to get at our white friend. I’m not going to discuss looks too much, but I’ll just say that it’s not b/c she was the best looking one in the group.
That’s just how some black men are, I ignore those fools. If you ain’t lookin my way, I ain’t lookin yours. The way I see it, if you love Beckys you will never find a woman who looks like me attractive,so although I may notice, I don’t care. I just avoid going to places where I know those types of black men frequent.
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I hate to say it but i think black dudes think (or know from experience) that they are guaranteed trim from yt girls…..
and what do people go to the club for….ACTION, ATTENTION and AZZ the three A’s
ooops..there goes my next blog *runs to post it*
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I’ve never had this happen to me. Probably because when I do decide to go out, I’m usually at a place where everyone is black and/or spanish. But I’ve had guys not dance with me but with every latina in the room. And this is what I chalked it up too:
My dance moves are subtle freakish and the latinas’ are overtly freakaleekish. Like I’ll toot that thang up maybe I’ll pop it for ya but I damn sure won’t be making that ass drop or let you fondle on my tittays.
I like to be nice and not sloppy drunk. Latinas/2520′s really live by the saying “tonight, we’re gonna get fuckkkkked up” (said like katt williams). All based on my experiences.
So MsTiff, don’t for one minute feel slighted,
somemost men ain’t got no game so its easier for them to get some play from a girl who is obviously tipsy and showing the dance floor all their sexiness.Reply
TRUE Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Right..and most men want to get fudged that night …soooo….
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RightCoastLexSteele, Mr. Mention Reply:
May 12th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
“So MsTiff, don’t for one minute feel slighted, some most men ain’t got no game so its easier for them to get some play from a girl who is obviously tipsy and showing the dance floor all their sexiness.”
Ok…I’ve read enough.
First let me start by concuring with streetz and Peyso. Not just white women, but white people in general know how to f’in party. I’ve played countless drinking games with them (dirty, dirtaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay) and have gotten f’ed up on 12 packs of Ice Beast with these people. Can’t speak for all brothers, but when I go out, I’m just looking for fun…whether it’s white, black, yellow or green (it usually ends up being green). If I show up to the spot late (like I usually do), I have limited time to be approaching someone with a stank face (not just the sisters…all women have stank face moments). So unless you’re being friendly and look outwardly ready to mingle, I don’t have time to spit game at the club. I don’t go to the club anymore and if I did, I’m not gonna spend it talking over the sound system in hopes of getting a dub from you. And it’ll probably be only one, cuz the DJ will undoubtedly play a song that you can’t dub to after he plays the one we were dubbing to.
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I’ve had this happen to me in mixed clubs. I think its bcuz most likely blak men wont go to a mixed club if they didnt like white women…so gettin snubbed just means that they want sum vanilla w/ they choco and aint really feelin blak girls..at least for that nite.
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My first boyfriend post adulthood never dated a black woman before me..
I heard I was also the last
yes he was black, guyanese actually
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You don’t have to stick to black men. Broaden you dating horizon and color the rainbow. Sticking to only one flavor is selling yourself short.
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Dayum…that has NEVER happened… never even in a club full of others we get or I get my shine..dayum where was ya’ll????
unless your girl was flickted dancing has nothing to do with it SMH…sounds like they just wanted some drunk becky’s (in alot of instances)= anything goes and pressed and thirsty for it too LMAO as it pertains to madingo LOL
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this is something i see happen often in a mixed spot joint. it doesn’t even bother me anymore. if i’m in a spot like that and most of the black dudes are checking for white chicks, i’m just thinking that that increases my odds. lol.
i was in denver recently for a conference and a couple of my classmates and i went to this bar/lounge that was mixed (black, white, mexican). i was in amazment at how none of the black dudes were checking for black women but also the fact that none of the black women were checking for black dudes (they were after the white dudes and mexicans). the mexicans were checking for everyone. lol.
like you sowhatiff i’m not the best looking out there but usually when i go out i get hit a good amount. when i was out there not one black woman approached me (not that i cared). lol. i kid you not, all these mexicans seemed to flock towards me (half of who couldn’t speak english). it was like i was living in bizzaro world.
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