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I remember growing up hearing that illnesses such as depression, schizophrenia, and obsessive compulsive disorder were not real. Drug addiction needed to be sweated out and prayed away. If people had emotional issues, no matter what childhood or adulthood events led to those issues, therapy wasn’t an opinion. The source of their issues couldn’t be the result of a chemical imbalance, early exposure to violence, or abandonment issues. “No girl, that’s just the devil.”
I’m not sure where this idea started, but I know in many Black families, the idea of visiting a psychologist is a “No, not happening.” I have heard it from my own family members. After my graduate training in counseling and therapy and my own trips to a therapist or two, I can say I firmly disagree. People needing therapy sometimes presents the risk of putting family business out in the street, or so it is told in Black households. I think more significantly though, in many Black families the idea of going to a therapist represents a strike against one’s faith in the healing power of God.
She don’t have no depression. She’s just lazy.
I think one of the biggest issues surrounding mental health, across all races and cultures is a lack of education. Let’s look at some good celebrity examples.
Y’all remember the Nets player Jason Williams, who shot and killed his limo driver? In April, dude was found to be suicidal in his hotel room. Or what about Houston, that singer/one hit wonder who gouged his own eye out after having a psychotic break of sorts? In an interview, dude claims that thugs and mobsters gouged his eye out. If you watch the interview, it is even more apparent that his mental health issues are still not being fully addressed.
I used those examples to demonstrate the extent to which psychological issues can blow up when they go ignored or unaddressed for years at a time. I would bet money that these two men, over the course of their lives or in the moments before their “mental breaks,” displayed signs that went unexplored, explained away, or just ignored. In my own family, I have seen psychological issues manifest for decades and continue to be medicated through drug addictions and unhealthy relationships. Yet all people think to do is “pray for him” or suggest that we “take her to church so she can find God,” with little attempts to understand what was good.
This may come across as harsh, but prayer doesn’t quiet the voices in the mind of a paranoid schizophrenic telling him the government has his house wire tapped. Prayer doesn’t answer the questions and emotional pains caused by insecurity, abandonment, or abuse. And prayer doesn’t take away that itch for the crack-rock or drank of that Irish Rose.
What are we so afraid of?
Or are we just undereducated about the reality of mental illness? Uncle Ray-Ray’s dementia or Alzhemier’s are just chalked up to him being old. John’s pyromania and violent acts lead to punishment and reprimanding, but nothing else. But why nothing else? To some, going to therapy is a sign of weakness. And we all know, Black folks don’t like to look like they can’t handle their own, nor do we like to feel like our business is out in the street. Going to therapy, or making the decision to even try it out, requires one to put their hands in the air and let a few things go:
For the spiritual or religious, we have to say “God alone can’t help me with this.”
Note I said “God alone.” Prayer is great. The Bible is the bomb. Church is fab. But those things in and of themselves do not heal mental health issues. Period. In my opinion, the belief that a relationship with God alone will cure psychological ills is the reason why so many of the cancerous cycles exist within our families and communities.
For the practical, we have to be willing to confess that time doesn’t heal all wounds.
Yeah, that happened when I was 8. I’m 24. I should be over this by now!
Unfortunately, in many instances, it doesn’t work like that. In all that time between 8 and 24, lots of other stuff has happened, issues have gone unresolved, and questions unanswered. More time isn’t going to undo that.
For the tough and independent, we have to be willing to say “I need help.”
This is where we gotta put the pride aside and be willing to accept the advice and guidance of others, and grapple with the idea that we cannot always talk ourselves out of our pain and problems.
What are your thoughts about mental health issues? Is therapy a cock ‘o crap? Are mental illnesses real? Can they be prayed away? Have you ever been to a therapist/counselor/psychologist? What’s the deal with the taboo in Black families surrounding mental health? Do tell.
Miss – Even in my greatness, I needs a little therapy too - Jenkins
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“This post is a virgin. Be it’s first…comment” just totally killed me.
Okk…on to the post at hand.
*applause for Ms. Jenkins*
It’s odd this came up because when I was watching Girlfriends this morning William’s dad was kinda alluding to the same thing. Like in the black community it’s almost a weakness for you to admit needing to mental help. I think it’s sad.
It’s on a par with homosexuality–everything in the black community that is considered taboo carries over and can somebody end up hurting ourselves.
I think people who condemn those who need help need to take a nice long look at themselves…and realize that they probably need help too.
Furthermore, I think this carries over into families too…generational spirits…and they never leave…some of them are things like…single motherhood, alcoholism, or deadbeat dads.
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:::STANDING OVATION, MS. JENKINS:::
Thank you for bringing this topic up and speaking about it so honestly and eloquently.
My aunt (Bebe Moore Campbell) spent the latter part of her life fighting to bring mental health issues to the forefront of African American psyche, and sometimes (when I hear black people talking about mental illness/addiction as if it were a personal affliction, as opposed to an actual disease like cancer), I begin to think her labor was in vain.
But when discussions like this take place in the black community, I realize the struggle is on-going and it takes people like you to put the truth out there for people to hear in order for us to address these issues properly and make some changes in our society.
So bravo… I look forward to coming home today after work (since I’ve been blocked) and seeing what’s transpired…
:::tear:::
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 7:44 am
Joey!!! Sorry. Got excited there a bit.
But yeah, check us out from the mobile site during the day. It’ll save you some time when you get home.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:06 am
Keep up on the mobile site!
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I will join Joey in that Standing Ovation!
Depression, mental health, mental hurt..for that matter mental anything, is not discussed enough in the Black community.
Yes from a religious standpoint Jesus will fix it BUT He won’t if YOU don’t take that first step…and I know for a lot of black women especially, that superwoman ‘still when I’m a mess still put on a vest with an S on my chest oh yes I am Supawoman’ syndrome can harm more than help a situation. You cannot handle everything by yourself.
I couldn’t handle, deal with nor process my grief when my daughter passed without the help of therapy and prayer. I had Jesus and I had Rev Thompson, who along with being my pastor is a clinical psychologist. Believe me it took me a while to accept that I needed more help than prayer (What..how could Jesus not be enough, right?!) With her guidance, with her prayer, with her talks, with her letting me scream and be mad and cry…wooosah. The pain is still there, it always will be, but what she helped me realize it that it’s okay to not ‘heal’, if you will, from this pain. Not to say that I should wallow in it or not grow from it but I can cry without apology when I need to. She advised me to treat this like a deep cut, it won’t better if I ignore it, it will only fester and get worse.
I think another point with therapy is that we don’t want to be weak and to some, therapy is a sign of weakness for a people who have been so strong.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:03 am
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I had the opportunity to have a pastor who was also a psychologist as well, and it was the perfect therapeutic combo for me.
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Handclaps for this post. It needed to be written.
“Note I said “God alone.” Prayer is great. The Bible is the bomb. Church is fab. But those things in and of themselves do not heal mental health issues”
I believe this too. At one time, I wanted to be a psychologist and I remember sitting in the church I was raised up in, and hearing the pastor talk about how psychologists weren’t needed bc we take our issues straight to Jesus.
This has to be one of the most close minded, inaccurate statements that I’ve ever heard by a pastor. And we all know how some people refer to pastors as Jesus in life form.
We have plenty of mental illness in our community but it is swept under the rug because people don’t want to be judged.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:01 am
For churches to take that standpoint is a huge issue, especially considering how much stake (often for good reason, but not always) people put in their pastors and the stance of the church.
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Smiley Face Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:48 am
ITA. We look to them to be our spiritual guide and when they preach the “wrong” message, it can be detrimental. When they are not educated properly or when they let it blind them to the truth of human nature, it dangerous.
Prayer is very beneficial and I understand the position of the church. But what happens when a member of your congregation has prayed every prayer, has done all they could with prayer, has stood still and prayed some more but is slowing dying inside because they feel bad or not faithful enough or spiritually strong enough because their prayers aren’t working?
If this person has the flu you ask them/tell them to go to a doctor, right? Why isn’t it the same for mental illness?
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:26 am
“If this person has the flu you ask them/tell them to go to a doctor, right? Why isn’t it the same for mental illness?”
Amen!
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CHeeKZ Money Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:44 am
“We look to them to be our spiritual guide and when they preach the “wrong” message, it can be detrimental. When they are not educated properly or when they let it blind them to the truth of human nature, it dangerous.”
I have been feeling this way since I learned about the Crusades in the 2nd grade. You hit the nail on the head. A major problem is when you tell someone their philosophy is wrong they take that as an attack on their ‘god’ and his divinity. A monotheist god doesn’t leave room for advancements, since some people can’t seem to be unable to let go.
They are being taught one way of dealing with a situation, and one way only. Heck they are even taught that following that way is the ONLY way to gain access into a happy after life. Can you really blame them for being so close minded? That would be like mocking the indians for doing a rain dance.
CHeeKZ solution: Do Away with all this religious crap.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:25 am
Exactly.. and we all know how people don’t like to speak up against the pastor.
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Streetz: The Friday Night Delight Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:54 am
I will. Shoot. lol
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*Fingersnaps, hand claps, foot stomps, hands raised, elder woman shouting, preacher wiping his brow with an engraved handkerchief, people falling and shaking on the floor speaking in tongues, dancing in the aisles, etc…Chuch/Syngogue/Kingdom Hall/Mosque/Temple/chapel!*
Ms. Jenkins is my shrink. True story.
This is perhaps one of the greatest, if not the greatest, post ever written on this site.
This post conveys a point that I’ve been trying to make for a while, but has been discounted as “You’re just saying that cuz you don’t go to church”.
I truly think that there are some issues that can’t be solved with a person or within them by just going and kneeling at the altar or at the bedside. Coping with loss of someone close or a traumatic experience, or even depression is not something that can just be prayed or bible versed away for some people. I’d say on some degree that this is the case for most people and that if the internal turmoil is resolved over time that it’s because of exactly that…time.
A lot of “traditional Black folk” think that mental/emotional issues are always under a person’s control and that The Big Guy Up There can just reset the person to factory conditions if they pray enough. It drives me nuts since I’ve seen the toll that mental/emotional health issues can have on people.
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Smiley Face Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:17 am
Co-Sign! Boy you betta hush your mouth with all that truth tellin’ up in here!!
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:26 am
::fans Smiley Face with my e-kerchief::
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ASmith Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:42 am
The Big Guy Up There can just reset the person to factory conditions if they pray enough.
Co-sign. It’s not that simple — it takes work and effort but too many of us wanna wake up tomorrow all brand new. Doesn’t work that way.
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Cheekie Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:53 am
“A lot of “traditional Black folk” think that mental/emotional issues are always under a person’s control and that The Big Guy Up There can just reset the person to factory conditions if they pray enough.”
Yeah, this thinking makes little to no sense. First off, if you’re “out of your mind”, how are you rational enough to even KNOW to turn to prayer in the first place? And if you’re mental, then there is NO control. That’s pretty much the very definition of insanity. Emotions can make folks do crazy things and there is no rationality about it.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:25 am
“Emotions can make folks do crazy things and there is no rationality about it.”
Preach.
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Noni Aminah Jones Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Chuuuurrch!!! I have an acquaintance that, lets just say, over dosed on tylenol and alcohol when his girlfriend broke up with him. He survived by the skin of his teeth. I’m glad he did, but clearly, he had greater issues in his life than that break up. His ex wasn’t THAT fly. Some people need to see a specialist. Point blank.
-NONI
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I don’t think the folk in family were that unaware LOL but neither were they all that pro-active in seeking treatment for say alcoholism etc…..
I think I was the one who kinda brought those options to light without there being a stigma attached
Medical, and or professional treatment in conjunction with prayer is a powerful concoction!!!
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It’s like a story I once heard…
A couple lived in a city that was flooding. They climbed to the roof and begin praying for God to save them. A raft floated by with a man on it. He stopped and asked them if they wanted to get in. They said no because they were waiting for God to save them. A larger boat passed by asking them to get on and they refused, again waiting on God’s miracle. A helicopter flew by and a man climbed down a ladder to help them up. They refused help for a third time as they were waiting on God. When the couple drowned and went to heaven they asked God why he didn’t save them. “I sent you a raft, a boat and a helicopter. What more did you want?”
We want God, sometimes, to just magically make everything better when he gives us the tools (e.g. counselors, therapists, etc…) to get better but we don’t want to. We use Jesus as a crutch to not go get help and to avoid the rumors and quiet murmurs. Mental health is so ridiculously ignored in our community and I know that it’s going to be one of the many arms we have to get right if we want our community to ever be it’s best.
WONDERFUL post Ms. Jenkins.
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Jaci Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:45 am
**two snaps**
Why do we question God for not giving us something we need when we don’t stop and see the gifts he’s really sent…somewhere there’s somebody who prolly had the gun in their pocket loaded and ready and a stranger smiled and made life worth living in…God’s in that. It’s not some coincidence and I think we need to realize that more…
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Cheekie Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:51 am
ASmith…that age-old story is the PERFECT explanation. I don’t know why people think that the only way God solves things is through miracle magic tricks. Sometimes God answers us through regular ol’ means.
Actually it’s most of the time. It’s usually so subtle and regular that we overlook it a lot, too.
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ASmith Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
It’s because the only stories people share are the outlandish ones. Those happen, but God is showing up (and showing out as some would add) on a daily basis. We just overlook it and overlook it to our own detriment.
Hell (irony)… did you wake up this morning? Ok. Miracle one for the day.
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Cheekie Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 12:22 pm
“Hell (irony)… did you wake up this morning? Ok. Miracle one for the day.”
Badda Bing.
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Allow me to join the other commenters in applauding Ms. Jenkins for this post.
I spent four years of my life trying to “pray” my clinical depression away. By the time I thought to seek help, I was already too far gone. It took a suicide attempt for me to realize that I had to take my mental/emotional issues as seriously as I’d take a physical health issue. I remember a doctor telling me, “If you had diabetes, you’d take insulin right? So think of your negative thoughts as sugar and medication/therapy as your insulin to control them.”
And I was so about to use the parable that ASmith just mentioned. Lol
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CHeeKZ Money Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:04 am
Thank You for sharing Robin….
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 12:23 pm
I think your comment speaks exactly to what this post is about. Much appreciation for sharing on this one.
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I agree that some things you can not just pray away. I have not ever utilized the services of a therapist, but I have many people close to me that have. I’m told its extremely soothing and sometimes you need to talk to someone that can physically talk back, if you want them to–but not judge you or know your history like your friends and family. I do believe that evil exists but its really not that simple. I have even encountered pastors with tortured spirits, so of course they if anyone should be able to “pray it away” it would be them. it definitely takes MUCH MORE.
great post.
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Excellent Post Tiff!
I think the best point you hit (among others) was that time does NOT always heal all wounds. If in that time period you haven’t resolved old issues, talked about it, and overcome your emotional angst, you will be older and in the SAME position.
I’ve never gotten a psychological evaluation, but it definitely interests me, just to see what’s going on up there. I’m private and at times don’t like talking about issues I go through, but as some people who I rock with on these internets know, talking, writing, etc helps me to heal. Even if you don’t see a shrink (which you should if things don’t add up), you NEED to speak to people you trust, because even the strongest minds can break under pressure eventually.
PS – Slim, that Womens G String is a stroke of genius. I will choose to congratulate, because to hate would be uncivilized. lol
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Prayer changes things and Jesus is real, but God also helps those who help themselves. People totally need to seek professional help with their mental deficiencies. It’s not a sign of weakness. If anything I think it shows strength. It takes a lot of effort to walk that first step to a mental health facility and seek help.
My granny had dementia and her brother said she was demon possessed and needed to pray it out. Good thing my mother didn’t listen to that. She got her the proper medical treatment she needed to help make her last years much better.
Junior year of college I was at the therapist every week because I despised my roommates, didn’t know where my life was headed and disliked some of my family. I might have ended up a college drop out if not for those sessions. Your family and friends can only help you so much. I would go to a therapist now if I could afford it. Unfortunately the newspaper doesn’t cover mental health. But I guess reporter and crazy go hand in hand.
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Peyso hasnt been blocked for 2 weeks and running Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:57 am
I agree with this one, sometimes prayer should tell you to go to see someone
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Pre-comment comments:
1. Congrats on becoming finalists, 3Ways crew! Ya’ll deserve it!
2. Oh, no you DIDN’T go and sell some T-shirts. It’s gonna be hard to choose between which one I want mine to say (I’m leaning toward the “pause” shirt), so eventually, I’ll be rockin’ them all. lol
3. Slim, you are a hot mess for that g-string. I love it.
Ok. On to the real comment.
Tiff, you da best for that above post. It needs to be read and re-read a thousand times over. *joins all the e-fam up there in the standing ovation*
The way I look at it is this. Yes, I believe in God. And yes, I do pray for things…for people. The thought that mental illness can simply be “prayed away” is a dangerous one. Think of it this way. If you believe in God: How about God provided these people for you to get well?
Example. Let’s say you’re unemployed and a God believer. You’d pray about getting a job right? So, after a few days, you go to a socia gathering, chat this ninja up and this ninja happens to like you. You mention you’re looking for a job and he hands you his business card saying he’s a head honcho of the company. Now, in general, a God-believer would say, “Thank ya, Jesus, You have sent me this man so I can get a job!”
Or if you break a bone, do you generally just pray it away or do you take your broken self to a hospital so the bone can be set back into place?
So, why can’t the same be applied to therapy and therapists? For some reason, folks can get outside help with anything else, but when it comes to therapy, they shy away from it. Don’t those who believe in God always say that He “sends” people to us?
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Smiley Face Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:06 am
“If you believe in God: How about God provided these people for you to get well? ”
Cha-ching!
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Still Water Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 1:27 pm
I am loving the shirts as well! But I would prefer that my vagina says “I heart Three Ways”.
Can we make that happen?
Thanks!
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Seattle Washington Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 3:32 pm
(In Obama Voice) “Yes We Can!!!”
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CHeeKZ just can't pass up the chance Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 3:38 pm
You would be surprised what this website can get your vagina to say….
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Cheekie Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 3:49 pm
lol, e-boo…
Can this website make it say “AYE!”?
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Salty CHeeKZ Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 4:21 pm
LMAO! HAHAHAHA!
im boomin im buckin im termin all the
baites
rap game eazy but da dope game gravy
young juice man and my life is like the
Japerz
wit stupid fruity crazy swag jumpin in
yo lady ……………………………………………….
………………………………………………….
……………………….
….
.
None of that rhymed. SMH @ hiphop.
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Very good post. Absolutely amazing Ms. Jenkins.
Mental health issues are very real – as real as the hand in front of you. No they can not just be prayed away; they have to be worked on and therapy is a good way of working on them.
Personally, I see a therapist once a week and she has assisted me in seeing value (actual worth) in my life. I had my prejudices of therapy:
“It’s too expensive” (Wrong, $20 copay for me [Aetna] and it’s covered under medicade)
“It’s not for black people” (Wrong, there’s an entire database of black / immigrant therapists to choose from).
Like many of you have wrote, I guess the taboo is that most people don’t want to accept the fact that what’s worked for mom and dad in the past is not enough to work for them. “After all, if the grand folks survived the Great Depression, what do I have to be sad about?”
Therapy is not for everyone, but for those that feel like everything else they’ve tried wasn’t enough, then maybe therapy would just be the next logical option.
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I rarely ever comment, but this post speaks to my heart. Thank you for writing this – it needed to be said, and I know for a fact that you have helped more folks than you’d ever imagine.
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Most have already expressed my sentiments. Ain’t nothin worse than an uneducated Bible-chaser trying to lead others with his/her ignorance. Oh wait…actually, a lazy Christian is just as bad. You mean to tell me you won’t go to the doctor or try to make a way for yourself because you just wanna pray it out? That ish ain’t dedication and chain-breaking faith, it’s lazy and naive. Check it:
How about you take heed to the opportunities and knowledge that God has provided through His people? How about you utilize the knowledge and skills that He’s blessed you with, in order to initiate some action in making a way for yourself? How about, instead of praying for some miraculous, unimaginable event/”move of God” to happen, you pray for discernment so that you can actually recognize the miracles that already exist in your life when God places them there (e.g., a shrink, a business card, and even your Uncle Leroy, etc)?
Then, acknowledge God for His greatness.
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Smiley Face Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:10 am
You betta say it!!!
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 4:36 pm
::high fives Nyela::
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I am moved and truly humbled by the love and appreciation for today’s post…
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Smiley Face Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:11 am
Ya know! I feel like I’m about to get happy in a minute!
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Cheekie Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:42 am
You deserve said love and appreciation, Tiff. This was definitely a great post and Imma have to point this one out to folks in real life.
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Ms. Jenkins, I think that this is an excellent post. I had a similar, but secular experience growing up.
When I was in middle school and high school, I told my parents that I wanted to see a counselor or psychiatrist. My mother turned up her nose at the idea and said that there was nothing wrong with me. She felt that issues that “kids these days” were coming up with were from our exposure to the Anglo-Saxon society.
She validated her comments by saying that when she was a kid, people did not have eating disorders, depression or addictions. Now with TV throwing all these ailments in people’s faces, Black children are starting to show the symptoms of mental disorders.
She said this all the while I was suffering from clinical depression AND an eating disorder. My parents solution was to take away my Seventeen and Cosmo magazines and replace them with Essence and Ebony.
o.O
I was also forbidden to watch MTV for a while.
I can look back at that time a half-heartedly chuckle, but I do worry about other kids who aren’t able to figure it out on their own.
I also wonder if we make up these claims that Jesus is my counselor because we just can’t imagine having to pay $100 dollars an hour so someone can listen to our problems and give us some $500/month prescription drugs…
Do we dismiss our problems so that we don’t create financial burdens?
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:40 am
“She validated her comments by saying that when she was a kid, people did not have eating disorders, depression or addictions.”
You beat me to the punch with this comment. It seems like this perception is something of our elders’ generation and not so much our own. There is such a misconception that “people didn’t have” these issues. Uh, yeah they did…but they didn’t have the same labels. Addiction especially is as old as dirt.
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Well since we are all in agree that this is an all time great post. Can I ask a question to Miss Jenkins and some of our pro-church or pro-therapy crowd?
Is the tension that exist between therapy and ‘turning to god’ have anything to do with that monetary aspirations of your guide? Is it possible that one is discouraging the other as an individual’s main tool of coping b/c your consul’s well being rest on you turning to him/her for help.
I know its out of my character to be a skeptic, however people in power take advantage of the vulnerable. For example: I don’t know to through wifey under the bus b/c I think she will make a great shrink and make us (me) alot of money. However, I have seen her throw some of these clinical terms to her benefit. Just b/c I want to watch the Giants game and not cuddle is not some kind of deep resentment I have towards my mother.
Some people just might have a fear of being taking advantage of.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:39 am
@CHeeKZ Money:
“Just b/c I want to watch the Giants game and not cuddle is not some kind of deep resentment I have towards my mother.”
I really spit water at this. Like, people looked at me and asked if I was okay.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:46 am
Great question Sir CheeKZ.
I don’t think that the Church fears that therapy will take away its funding source i.e. the congregation (for one, church is serves many purposes outside of prayer and psychological connection). People give offering and tithe religiously (no pun) and plan for it just like other expenses, if you will. I think the concern more so, (as I have interpreted from the pulpit) is that people will begin to turn away from God, and turn to man to solve their problems, which overlooks the idea (and reality) that two are can exist and work well together. You can have value in both and in my mind, if you find solace in God and have mental health issues, you should to seek help from the two sources.
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Salty CHeeKZ Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Great Answer… but I was hoping you would finally admit that religion is solely a means of control that takes advantage of the wallets and purses of their congregations by feeding them lies…….
But seriously your answer was great.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 3:56 pm
LOL. I bet you did.
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::To all who have shared their own struggles with mental health issues and their experiences in therapy::
Thank you!
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I think that more Black families/minority families need to get into counseling and one thing I see in this field is a lack of knowledge about what therapy is and a fear of therapy (Myself included). As I am finishing school this year, I really want to specialize in Black therapy for and think that people should rely on God as you said but also need to realize that they may need help outside of the church. It is so important and going to school makes you realize the things that you never really paid attention to in the Black community. So hopefully once I am done with school, I can work in a minority neighborhood as kind of a liason to public schools and have some kids refered out that way. I just don’t know how I can get Black people to start coming to therapy but I think being around a public school system I might be able to get families and students in. But I just wanted to say that post really resonated with me, cause I feel like its a fighting battle that mental health professionals struggle with. And my main question would be how do we help our people if they are afraid of it?
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Salty CHeeKZ Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 3:44 pm
NY Giant Hater!
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***Also agree, wonderful post Tiff”
I think that more Black families/minority families need to get into counseling and one thing I see in this field is a lack of knowledge about what therapy is and a fear of therapy (Myself included). As I am finishing my masters, I really want to specialize in Black therapy for and think that people should rely on God as you said but also need to realize that they may need help outside of the church. It is so important and going to school makes you realize the things that you never really paid attention to in the Black community. So hopefully once I am done with school, I can work in a minority neighborhood as kind of a liason to public schools and have some kids refered out that way. I just don’t know how I can get Black people to start coming to therapy but I think being around a public school system I might be able to get families and students in. But I just wanted to say that post really resonated with me, cause I feel like its a fighting battle that mental health professionals struggle with. And my main question would be how do we help our people if they are afraid of it?
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Great blog! This one hits home very close…
I come from a family where talking about your feelings isn’t something we do at all. You deal with it yourself and you get over it. Psychiatrists & therapists aren’t even an option and considered an “American” thing in the sense that “Americans” like to talk a lot and need to share their feelings. (I’m European) Yes stereotypical..but this is the way my family feels about it.
Anyways…a very close family member has always had a lot of issues. Anxiety attacks, depression, low self-esteem etc…the doctors in their adolescent years discoved they had a serious chemical inbalance which fuels their psychological/health problems. My family always told this person they were being silly…had to pull their act together…no need for a psychologist. Grandparents will say a prayer, light a candle and call it a day.
Last summer, that person got to the point where they expressed suicidal feelings and claimed they were crazy but didn’t know what to do with themselves. Finally, they saw a therapist and the changes have been immense! New outlook on life, growing self-esteem and learning to handle certain emotions/situations!
I’m extremely proud of them but I feel guilty for having been one of those people who questioned therapy and i know a lot of family members now feel the same way.
Do we really have to wait for someone to express extreme life-threatening emotions in order to give therapy a chance? To what extent is society to blame? Does it mean you have to be crazy if you want to go talk to a therapist?!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Thanks for dropping by to comment today and sharing a story!
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GREAT POST!!! I completely agree with you. I have a very strong faith in God. However, a few years ago some things went on in my life were I needed to reach out for more help. I prayed about it and God allowed a friend of mine to introduce me to an amazing therapist. He wasn’t what I expect at all. But ever since that day he has been an amazing blessing in my life.
As you stated pray is good, but God sends people in our lives to help us. People need to get away from that stigma about therapy. I think therapy is great and I am living proof.
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This is a great, responsible post. I think there’s a tendency in the Black community to discount mental health issues but depression exists and let’s face it, life can be a bitch at times. Not everyone can survive without some sort of guidance or support. I admit to having seen a therapist a few times in high school and once in college… I’m happy I did. Didn’t need medicine, but perhaps just someone to put things in perspective.
In terms of God, well I really do think faith and prayer is the ultimate therapy. I know succeeding and remaining steadfast during life’s turbulence, for me, is only possible because I have a strong sense of faith.
But sometimes… God would want you to get some help.
NONI
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Mental health is a serious issue in America and particularly among Black people. There is tremendous
stigma associated with mental health problems within Black families. Perhaps it is due to the fact that we were separated from our history. Perhaps it is due to our having to be “better than” to be able to participate in American society. Whatever the reason…Acceptance
is the key!!!!!! In order to address an issue you must first accept that it exists and is a problem. We have not begun to universally accept that this is a problem. Therefore, we tend to sweep it “under the rug” in our families and pretend it does not exist. We have to remember, that we are not perfect and that there was only one perfect MAN!!!!!!!!!!!
BFJ in Austin, TX
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I want to add, that there are many health issues that hit the black community harder than most, mental health is included. Many times we don’t have health care, or we are fearful of what the dr. will find, and sometimes we are in denial of our health issues when we “feel” okay, or we are ashamed to admit our need. But, the point that I wanted to make is that when it comes to health and well-being, there is not a greater physican then JESUS CHRIST. He is a whole-istic practitioner. He looks at the whole man. If mental illness is caused by demon possession, because of doors opened through generational sins, Jesus can send one of his ministers to cast the devil out, and then close that open door. If illnesses arises through organic breakdown, God can heal, and He can do it instantly, or he can do through faith and medication. My point is that God is the ultimate healer, but he can use various methods. For example I am on blood pressure medication, but in answer to prayer, God has systematically relieved me of some serious stressors in my life. After that, my emotional eating habits began to change, then my weight began to decrease, and if I continue on, I expect to come off of my blood pressure medication after signifcant weight loss. The doctor only gave me pills, but the Lord Jesus Christ is working on every aspect of who I am through prayer and study of His word, and forgiving people, etc This comes with relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, and relationship happens when a believer gets beyond “the church,” experience. PEACE
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 7th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Heck of a comment! Make sure you stop by Three Ways more often!
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