Miss Jenkins on Emo Dudes
Last week Slim talked about emo dudes. And just as he started breaking on these overly expressive men, I found one on the other end of my phone.
I met this dude a few months ago. We were conversing on a semi regular basis, which was cool. Even then, I could see signs of his emo-ness. And if you know anything about me, you know I do not like overly sensitive men. But I continued to converse with him because he was somewhat engaging. Then we went out on a date, (a single date) and I was done. The date was not very fun for me for many reasons. He ended up being so lackluster, amongst other things. Ugh. Anyway, the signs of his emo-ness really shined through after I gradually started to put some distance between us:
1. Constantly asking what is wrong
Please don’t be this guy. Especially if #1. We are not emotionally invested in each other and #2. If I didn’t bring anything up. If you keep asking and I don’t see something wrong, I will start to see you as what’s wrong.
2. Not taking the hint
I’ve learned that emo men need road signs and maps to show them the point at which the chemistry made a left turn and disappeared. If you go out with the average non-emo dude and things don’t quite mesh, you both start to pull back, and there are no hard feelings on either end. But no. Not so with the emo dude. He wants to keep calling or texting, or asking what he is doing wrong. For me, there is nothing to be done at all. Our interactions are what’s wrong. Thus, our time is done. Deuces homie. Thing shouldn’t be this hard. Especially after one date.
3. Missing me after one date
Really dude? Conversations I have had with said emo dude after our date have gone something like this:
Emo guy: It seems like you have really been busy lately.
Me: Yeah, work is really kicking my behind right now.
Emo guy: I kinda miss you.
Me: Yeah. ::uncomfy silence:: Okay, I have to go now. Ttyl. ::hangs up expediciously::
Mind you, our conversations prior to and at this point started to consist of silence on the phone, and me praying that he would give me more than 1 word answers. But more importantly, how are you missing me after one date? I know I am intriguing, but damn. Salvage some pride man.
4. Updating your status in response to a conversation we had
Super emo. I understand that we all need a medium to express ourselves, but come on. Recently, he asked if I thought things were getting better between “us”, as he had been attempting to call me more while I answered less (Q: Anyone else see the problem with this? A: There is no “us”, and thus no place for things to get better.) Soon after I replied with something to the effect of “I guess, but I’m not really sure what you think should or needs to be getting better,” he changed his status to something emotional and sensitive. ::violins play in background:: Now there is a chance it had nothing to do with me. But I’d bet his emo-ness got the better of him and so he felt the need to express himself to me and his entire network of friends. Emo.
Okay, my rant is done. Maybe I could have been more clear to him, at the risk of being mean or whatever, but I feel like his emo-ness made this harder than it needed to be. Any thoughts? Ladies, ever had any issues with an emo dude who just didn’t get the hint? Fellas, have you ever been the dude who misread the smoke signals? Or are women just misleading and unclear. Sharing is caring, folks.
Miss – I’d like a manly man, please. Hold the emo. – Jenkins
38 Responses to “Miss Jenkins on Emo Dudes”
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Ew, this is making my skin crawl!
I can’t recall if I’ve ever been in this situation or not BUT the feeling I am getting is strikingly familiar… or maybe I just have a lot of empathy.
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I’ve had this issue a few times, but there’s one that stands out. I don’t know if he was Emo, or just plain crazy.
Back when pagers were in effect (u know u thought u were doin sumthin if u had one), I met this dude at a party that a radio station was having. It was quite dark in there but, from what I could see, he was decent. So, I gave him my pager #. BIG MISTAKE! Why did dude call RIGHT AFTER the party was over?? I was literally walking down the street to the car with my girls when the page came thru. That was the 1st alarm that went off in my head.
Then, dude proceeded to call me all day/every day (like 4-5 times a day) after that. Now u know when u had a pager, especially one with voicemail, u had to get up and go to a phone (in my case, a pay phone because he always called while I was at work) to see what the message was. I worked at a spot doing surveys, so that time off the phone was crucial and TIMED by supervisors. After getting tired of dude being stalkerish within 2-3 days of even meeting me, I promptly called him to tell him to lose my number! I hated being mean, but I can’t take it when people come on too strong, too fast…
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 9:25 am
Yeah, I think he was crazy. Had you gotten to know him he definitely would have been emo.
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Raqi Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Yeah… What Miss Jenkins said… CRAZY!
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ROFLLLLLL
I feel your pain girl…this is what I needed last week, an example of an emo guy…
Nah I dont think you did anything wrong..like shoot, you was both just beginning to know each other…where did “US” come from??????
I’m saying ppl need to recognize that if your date, partner or whoever is not returning your calls….take the hint and bounce…simple.
Good post! Hopefully it will open up some eyes that are wide shut!!!!
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 9:24 am
“I’m saying ppl need to recognize that if your date, partner or whoever is not returning your calls….take the hint and bounce…simple.”
***APPLAUSE***
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 9:32 am
Word! And I know women are guilty of reaching for what ain’t there, but we both (emo dudes and women) need to know when to let go.
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I miss you, Tiff. *tear*
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 9:28 am
I miss you too boo.
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LMAO!!!!
Damn TIff his spider sense must;ve went off saying you had that good good because he was LOCKED IN (no @iamdiddy). LOLOL
I hate subliminal messages when involved in convresations. I mean, if we have a specific conversation, then I go on facebook and see an updated “dudes need to recognize blah blah blah” you think I’m not going to know that’s about me?! Its childish, immature, and insecure (no Jesse Jackson speech pattern) and I hate dealing with it, and will chuck the proverbial deuces if its constant.
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I’ve got a story to tell ::lights pipe by fireplace and sits in rocking chair with Crimson robe on:: So I meet this dude, we exchange numbers and he seems cool. I’m keeping him at arms length just because I’m not too sure about him. We talk over the phone most of the time. He seems “nice” but a little pompous. He comes to visit me for a wknd, and I figure that this is when I’ll judge whether there is any real chemistry. From the time his plane lands and he gets into my car…I know the answer…there is NONE. I still have to be a good hostess, but I dread the fact that so much of my wknd is to be spent with this dude.
We go to the movies that night to see “Daddy’s Little Girls” (his picking). During the movie, I hear ::sniff sniff:: next to me. I get a chill up my spine and am like…nawww…can’t be. Then I kinda turn my head to look, and dude has a long tear running down the side of his face. I’m like WTF!!!! I let it go for a hott second, but at the end of the movie I just have to ask wtf he was crying about.
Desired Response: “Yo…I remember bein angry where I’d punch an effin wall, you know?” something manly.
His response: “It was just so touching. It really got me emotional.”
I almost vomited in the back of my throat. I wanted to leave his a## at the mall but I couldn’t, he was a guest. So I put him to sleep on the couch in my living room that night, he was disappointed.
Next day, he has to go out most of the day and take care of business, I have to work, so we meet up later in the evening. We decide to go to Chilis to get some dinner. At the table, after we order and before the food comes, he’s like, “I want to talk to you about something.” and I was like…ok. He says, “I think i’ve gotten to know you pretty well, and I really like you, and I think that we should be in a relationship.” I almost spat out my soda. I was like…WHAT?! Was he having the same wknd I was having? And I looked at him and said, “Well…I think you’re a really good person, but I don’t think that we know each other well enough to even be considering a relationship, and I’d like to get to know you more as a friend.” I look across at him, and his eyes start getting red…then they start welling up, then…the unthinkable. Not only does he start to cry, but you know how babies get loud and can’t breathe…yes…that was him. He was like…”you you you hurt my feelings. I don’t understand why you don’t want to be with me.” And EVERYBODY around us was staring at us like…OMG! I started clapping my hands together yelling, “Stop it! sTOP IT!” And I was hoping he would magically stop…but it got worse. So finally I said, “Get up! Go to the bathroom, and wipe your face off” Not only does he get up…but he runs like a little b*tch to the bathroom. He stays in there for like 10 minutes which felt like eternity. The food had come, I couldn’t even look at the food it made me wanna vomit. He comes back, smiling and happy, and starts eating the food soooo quickly…he’s shoveling it down his mouth. I was sitting there…disgusted!!! I said, I think we should take this to go. He says no, I could finish it right now…and he continues to shovel.
We leave the restaurant after he refuses to pay for the meal, so I pay for both of us. We get in the car, and he starts BAWLING…like can’t catch his breath kinda bawling. I was like OOOOMMMMFFFFGGGG!!!!! I wanted to be like…get the freak out and walk, but I couldn’t. I took him back to his apt, and I told him, “I’m really sorry…i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings you know.” (At this point I would say anything to make sure if he thought about killing me that night he would think twice…maybe? I also made him sign into a sheet in the lobby of our building…any weird sh*t go down…you know who did it. I also texted my LS like…yo…remember his name, number and address) So anyway after I said I didn’t wanna hurt his feelings, he shrugged me off and was like, “Don’t try to make me feel better about this” What a lil b*tch!!!!
The next morning, I woke up, never so happy to smell my life. I drove his a$$ to the airport 6 hrs early because I wanted to make sure he did not miss his flight.
That’s my story of an EMO/Weird/Crazy Dude.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 10:23 am
LMFAO. I am so glad you shared this story!
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Crown Jewel Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 10:29 am
These are the times you desperately need video footage. This sounds like some ol’ “I Love New York” episode.
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Lightz Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 10:33 am
First of LMAO. OMG!!! WTF!!!!!!! I have got to post this so that the world can see this. Too funny.
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Black & Trapped In Toronto Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 10:51 am
Sound like this dude was looking for you to be his mother…sick…I’m glad he didn’t go Norman Bates on yo azz lol
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Streetz: Mr Write Now Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 11:31 am
Bst.Story.EVER!
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 2:08 pm
This story is hilarious. Thanks for sharing!
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Raqi Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 2:30 pm
I, unlike the rest, find this story more disturbing than humorous. I been there. No. Effen. Lie.
Like WTF….
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LOL!!
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LOL, yeah the worse part about the situation is after a conversation like that the Clock Stalker calls you the next day at 12:00P.M you don’t answer and then at 3:00 P.M. you don’t answer. At 5:00 when you leave work YOU EXIT THE BUILDING CAUTIOUSLY hoping that she not waiting for you outside. Have you ever seen a dude headed straight for the subway looking over his shoulder, well then you know that he is looking out for that Clock Stalker.
But seriously people on another note: I met a Sexy Sista a while back and needles to say she’s a lot going for herself. I live in NYC and she lives in West Jersey somewhere. She sent me a text to come and hang with her at a show, so I did and it was a lot of fun. We went out a few times after that and we were having fun. I asked if she had a boyfriend and she said something to the effect that they had broken up.
Cool so I left it at that. She never did give me a clear answer about that but I didn’t mind because I figured more or less she and her man was probably on time out. “Get even with your boyfriend for whatever he did Sex with the Next dude is always good”. Due to both of our schedules the weekends as always been best to hangout. Mind you she always come from jersey to meet me which is a good sign (meaning that she is interested.) I went out of town for a few months and while I was out of town I spoke with her every now and then. Now that I’m back I text her asking her what’s up and I am like what’s up with you and your man, she doesn’t respond. So I sent another text saying a better question is when are we hanging out and she responds the weekends are best for her.
Ladies, Fellas let me know what you make of that situation.
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Black & Trapped In Toronto Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 10:52 am
Leave it alone….let her come to you. She is interested but obviously has unfinished biz she needs to take care of.
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Streetz: Mr Write Now Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 11:31 am
yup, and dont give up your home address. U dont want the bf going Jazzy Sullivan on u
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 2:10 pm
I agree with you both.
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Lightz Reply:
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:19 am
Thanks, that’s what I thought.
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I’m dealing with an emo dude now. He’s almost 26 years old and never had girlfriend. When I first met him, I liked him, he is pretty intelligent, well mannered, good looking. I wondered why he never had a girlfried, when he could wonder the same thing about me 24 year old woman who has never had a boyfriend so I gave us a chance. Things started out well (given our similar backgrouds) then went downhill pretty quickly, but he started with the extreme clingy and all kinds of scary. Constantly calling/texting at inconvenient times (like at 6:30am in the morning) He wanted to see/be with me ALL THE friggin time! After we just finished hanging out, he called and said he missed me so much. He told me he master****s to my pictures (keep in mind these are just regular ol pictures he took of me on our first date at a park). After our second date, He actually told me he would strangle me if he found out I was talking to other guys. I asked him if he was joking. He said maybe. I got scared started to pull back. He texts me and leaves voicemails asking me, “Why do you hate me so much?” “Pretty Please answer my calls!” “I miss you SO MUCH” This has been going on for about 2 months although I haven’t answered him back.
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Crown Jewel Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Re-straining.order.fast.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 2:11 pm
told me he master****s to my pictures (keep in mind these are just regular ol pictures he took of me on our first date at a park)”
Aw naw heyll naw.. RUUUUN, babygirl, RUN
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Raqi Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 2:32 pm
GET OUT!!!!
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Exit stage left. ASAP.
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Okay… I admit it… once upon a time, I dated an emo cat. In fact, I think he’s the only person I’ve been in a publicized, girlfriend/boyfriend relationship with…
So this tale starts way back in the summer of 1998. I was working at a local amusement park at the front gate selling tickets. I was 17 yrs old and very very VERY shy and innocent. So there was this cute guy who worked security. He was 19, drove a truck and used to come and flirt with me at my booth. He said my voice was sexy and would have me blushing (can’t believe I used to blush at that) all day long. At the time I could barely bring myself to say hello to him, let alone tell him I liked him. One day I worked up the courage to write my number on a piece of paper and sneak it in his backpack when no one was looking. Just my luck, he got fired that day and so that dream died and I figured I’d never see him again.
Fast forward 3 years…
It’s Christmas 2001 and I’m headed to my homegirls’ parents house for a Christmas party. She said she wanted to hook me up w/ a friend of hers. When she told me the name I immediately though of my former crush, but I knew there was no way, but I asked if he ever worked at the amusement park, yep, did he go to x high school, yep, did he drive a light blue rodeo, yep… WOW it IS him!!!
So I got all excited. I’ll skip ahead some. So by a month later we were in a “relationship” turns out he found my note like a week later, but was already dating one of my co-workers so he never called. He has just broken up w/ that girl recently.
This was post 9/11 and he had been called into active duty and was stationed in the middle of nowhere in NC. So he would call me from the base and expect to talk to me ALL DAY!!!! I mean all day all day. Like call at 6am, then call at 10, then want to sit on my phone til he left work at 4pm. It was nuts. So time comes for him to come home and visit.
He was supposed to come up on Friday. He decides to surprise me and shows up at my job Thursday afterwork to pick me up. So I was quite annoyed but it was sweet. We get in the car and he proceeds to hold my hand and sing MJ’s “Got To Be There”… the whole song… holding my hand. I cringed on the inside but pasted a smile on my face. We go out that night and hang out w/ our mutual friends and I find out that this kid doesn’t drink… WHO DOESN’T DRINK!??! AT ALL??? So when we get back to my place I’m quite tipsy and he’s all in love. We get down to business and I’m looking for Lord Pumpington and instead Earl McSnugglesworth shows up. At one point he looked like he couldn’t breathe so I slow my swerve and ask what’s wrong… apparently he “holds his breath when he gets nervous”… then he tells me he loves me …
Did I mention we’d only been dating for a month or so…
….
Okay, so morning comes. I get up to get ready for work and he’s already up. He has showed and is currently sitting in my pink bathrobe, brushing his teeth. So I just get in the shower and stay there for quite some time, trying to gather myself. I get out brush my teeth and mid brush I notice that I don’t see his toothbrush. I look I don’t see any toiletry bag at all…
NO HE DIDN’T!!!
Yes people, he did. He used my toothbrush, w/o asking me. I was SO DISGUSTED!!!
On Saturday we stayed in and watched a movie. I was all into the movie but he wanted to get snuggly again. He turns my face and kisses me and breathes out my name like “Cherrrryyyyy”. I tried my best to hold it in but I busted out laughing. I tried to play it off like I was choking and ran to the bathroom where I laughed into a towel so hard I was crying.
The remainder of the weekend I spent most of my time either in bed or in the shower hiding. It turned out I wasn’t the shy 17yr old I used to be but he was still the 19yr old boy I USED TO have a crush on. He finally left after insisting on driving me to work on Monday. Needless to say we broke up not too long after that. In response he wrote me a 4pg letter telling me I was mean and unaffectionate.
*sigh*
I hate Emo Cats… they make me itch!
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Streetz: Mr Write Now Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 2:49 pm
THis story >>>> LMAO!
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
July 2nd, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Damn!! And he is in the service? I’m gonna need to him to be a little tougher than that.
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Um, I think some of these “stories” are fabricated.
Crying in Chili’s? Dudes using a random toothbrush?
Seriously?
Oh, and also…I see why most black women are single…
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DukeTexGal Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Um…can we not go there and make generalizations about black women from this post? For one, not everyone on this site is black and for two, many women, no matter their color don’t like p*ssy a** men. Are you Emo? I’m sorry, I’m sure there’s someone out there for you.
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Lightz Reply:
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:21 am
D Text Gal,
I’m definitely with you on this. NY183 sounds like an emo.
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Black and Trapped in Toronto Reply:
July 2nd, 2009 at 9:18 am
oh and I see why you are annon. cause if you were to utter those words in person, you would have no teeth left in your mouth….def emo & possibly the one in chili’s
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
July 2nd, 2009 at 11:12 pm
Wow. I’m hoping you made that “most black women are single” in reference to the fact that the men in these stories are not really dateable. And not implying that there was something the women did wrong.
I do hope you come back to elaborate!
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Ha!
You children and your “comebacks” amuse me.
Since you all seem to be attracting these “emo” men. Maybe thats saying something about YOU.
Stop “doing you”, and just “do better”.
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