Modern Day Matchmaker Series: Stop Mean Muggin’!
The Modern Day Matchmaker, Paul Carrick Brunson, is back at it again. This week he talks about something that’s not just relegated to Black women, but to people in general. This is a very positive video with good points and comedic value as usual. And as you’ll notice, even when he tried to be positive in a major way, the mean mugs showed up as usual. Some people just can’t be happy. Enjoy!
Oh yeah, and make sure you share your thoughts on the video. Do you agree? Do you disagree? Are you a chronic mean mugger? C’mon. You know you got something to say.
16 Responses to “Modern Day Matchmaker Series: Stop Mean Muggin’!”
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I mean mug all the time but for some reason its always super ugly dudes or service men (janitors, movers, etc..) who call me out on it, I’m not trying to be mean, but it seems to be the guys who would have a hard time finding a girl in the first place that have a problem with it. If I’m running to the subway at 8 am, i am not going to be smiling at anyone (I’m not a morning person), If I’m making a Pink Berry or Starbucks run at lunch, my demeanor is totally different, same as when I attend social and networking events. I totally understand that mean muggin is a disservice to the individual doing it, but why do some men get so offended by it.
Mean mugging is a pretty good defense mechanism, “users” and “time wasters” don’t want to spend time breaking through those barriers. I purposely mean mug when someone comes around who I have no interest in knowing personally.
*Sidenote* – I was watching Celebrity Fit Club and realized that Paul Carrick Brunson and Dr. Ian are practically twins, has anyone else noticed that?
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This video made me smile. lol.
I’m a reformed mean-mugger. See, I attended college in Atlanta(SPELMAN), and I mean mugged whenever I went anywhere in the surrounding neighborhood. See, the residents of that neighborhood were not always nice, and I wanted to look as crazy as possible so people would know not to even think about messing with me. lol. Now, I smile all the time. And I am approached more often by very attractive men. Now, most them have been married or otherwise attached, but that’s another story for another day.
And no, it wasn’t the planet earth thing. I’m pretty sure it was the “black man with the bullhorn in the middle of Dupont Circle talking about no more mean muggin on Monday” thing. lol.
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Um, Paul, DuPont circle? That was hilarious if I must say so myself, but also very true!
I won’t lie, I’m infamous for mean-muggin’ in my self-portrait facebook profile pics, but I have to say that I generally smile more than anyone I know. I LOVE to laugh and I often get a lot of compliments on my smile (even from my dental hygenist) which, ironically, just makes me smile more.
But I have a bunch of female friends who really haven’t grasped the concept of how much power their smile has, one of whom has a “default” mean mug that almost prevented us from even becoming friends in the first place (I thought she didn’t like me!). Trust, I will be sending the link to this blog to these ladies immediately! I’m all for “No Mean Mugging Mondays”. Make a button or a shirt out of it, I’ll rock it for sure!
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*stands up slowly*
Hi, my name is Miss Jenkins and I.am.a.mean.mugger.”
*wipes brow*
You make some very good points in the video. As I have gotten older, I have become more aware of my mean mug. Its my default when I’m walking outside–once I approach a person, I may nod or throw thema half-arsed smile, but I keep a pretty straight face otherwise. I’ve learned toned it down once I enter a social gathering of an sort, for many of the reasons you mentioned.
Plus my pearly whites are on point.Considering that the profession I’m entering requires me to interact in social settings all the time, I’ve learned to keep on the smile, and it definitely does feel better than walking around like looking like a just brushed my teeth with lemon juice.
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I am not a mean mugger. I don’t even think I know how to mean mug, I have tried, like that one time in Mauritius I was walking back by myself from the public transit station at like 10pm and wasn’t trying to get jumped in a foreign country.
Lately (because I have a new job) I have found that as I walk by people on the street I make eye contact and smile. Believe it or not folks people actually smile back. Don’t get me wrong I think there is a time and a place for mean mugging, I do however think it should not be on your face all the time.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
February 10th, 2010 at 11:13 am
I hate it when I smile at people and they look back at me all crazy.
*mean mugs*
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I’m LMAO at the lady who got up like “What da hell!”
When I make eye contact I usually offer a smile or “how’re” you doing?” and keep it moving. Most folk look shocked when you offer even that, lol.
Paul I’m mad that you were in Dupont Circle!! LOL…you’re lucky you weren’t at Ft Dupont Park with that megaphone, lol.
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I’m not generally a mean mugger. I was raised to speak to people, say hello, and be pleasant as I move around. In fact it’s not just upbringing, I like doing it. I love when you stop and say “good day” to someone and they smile and say it back…
What I don’t like is that every dirty old man and skeevy dude seems to think my smile is an invitation to harass me and be over the top with their comments/holla attempts/stage act. Just because I walked by smiling doesn’t mean it’s okay for the group of old men working at Metro that are old enough to be my father to stop and objectify me loudly when I’m still within ear shot. My name is not “AYE GIRL!” and no random
corner boyBlack man that wasn’t an invitation for you to come over and harass me for my number for the next three blocks. Didn’t I just say I had aimaginaryboyfriend?About a week ago I went to an interview. It was the first time I’d dressed up in weeks. I did my hair, did my makeup, put on a dress and had to stop and look at myself. I had one of those “I forgot I’m cute” moments. It was in a fantastic mood. I skipped out the house and first an ambulance driver starts trying to holler. I tell him I’m in a relationship (I didn’t find him attractive AT ALL and he looked to be about 20yrs my senior). He then pulls over (yes, pulls over the ambulance) got out and continued to push me for my number as I walked to the train. Finally I agreed to maybe attend a Sunday service at his church (really?!?! you want to bring God into your foolishness?!). After he goes away I turn the corner and ANOTHER car pulls over. This guy rolls down his window to tell me how sexy my legs are. I smiled nicely and said thank you and walked a little faster as he continued to drive slowly behind me. I finally lost him at the corner. When I got to the train I contemplated putting on a mean mug but I decided to shake it off and keep going. I get down to the platform there were a group of older men standing together. They all turned to take a peek at me, then I could hear them talking about me. Finally one came over and told me I was “a very beautiful looking woman”. I said thank you and I genuinely appreciated the complement and he was very nice, but then he just stood there and leered for a few moments to long and again I was skeeved out.
After that I got on the train and put on my mean mug and was mad about it. I wanted to have a happy smiley day but I was getting attention from all the wrong men so I had to “defend” myself w/ my mean face.
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Cheekie Reply:
February 10th, 2010 at 1:29 pm
“What I don’t like is that every dirty old man and skeevy dude seems to think my smile is an invitation to harass me and be over the top with their comments/holla attempts/stage act. Just because I walked by smiling doesn’t mean it’s okay for the group of old men working at Metro that are old enough to be my father to stop and objectify me loudly when I’m still within ear shot. My name is not “AYE GIRL!” and no random corner boyBlack man that wasn’t an invitation for you to come over and harass me for my number for the next three blocks. Didn’t I just say I had a imaginary boyfriend?”
*raises fist*
Word.
*folds arms*
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I’m a smiling ninja and support this campaign.
But.
Why it gotta be on Mondays, though? Mean-Muggin’ should be condoned on Mondays. There is a valid reason for the muggin’. Ok, lemme compromise. How about the campaign goes into effect after folks get their coffee?
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Ironically I started smiling at people and saying “Good Morning” on my way to work this week. As a result a couple things happened – old Black women now love me and, most importantly, I felt better.
My mornings were brighter and in turn, my days are a lot happier. Why? Well you can’t be pissed with a smile on your face and I got small doses of positive energy from other folks.
It goes a long way. And that’s coming from a non-morning ex mean mugging bastard. Haha.
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It’s something that i do subconsciously. it is funny b/c a guy just told i look mean most days. Thanks Paul, keep them coming. It’s simple act (smiling) but u will be surprised the prices we pay for it. My next night out i will make sure i put on a smile
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@Renne, i do not see that resemblance at all. Paul is hotter (i know that is not english), Mrs Brunson excuse me, just appreciating, not disrespecting u.
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I endorse this message!! If it’s all I can do to brighten someone’s day, hey, it doesn’t hurt me none, so I wear a smile like 90% of the time. Some days it’s forced (like Mondays for instance), but most days, it just comes naturally because I’ve been doing it for so long. And as a bonus, I get free stuff from all the places I frequent just because I’m the only friendly person to come through there… And because I make it a point to know everyone’s name (cooks, waitresses, cashiers, bud drivers, etc.). Practice makes habits!!
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Joey is late Reply:
February 10th, 2010 at 11:36 pm
Oh, and if you notice, all the white people got up and left but the 2 black folk stayed… Just FYI for those of you who aren’t around white people all the time… THEY DON’T KNOW WTF MEAN MUGGIN IS!!! So of course they looked at him like he was crazy.
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