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Attention Wh*res
There are so many different types of people that annoy me or piss me off. Sometimes I even manage to piss myself off. I don’t know how I do it, but I do. Okay, I’m lying. I know exactly how I manage to piss myself off. Happy now? Great. Contrary to the way I started off this post, it isn’t really about me. It’s about a certain type of person that has the ability to piss everyone else off—particular those who are just like them. This person is also great at garnering pity intentionally and unintentionally. This type of person comes in all shades, shapes, and genders. The genetic trait they have doesn’t discriminate. Your best friend may be one of them. One or all of your siblings may have the trait. One of your co-workers most definitely has it. You may even have the trait yourself. What am I talking about? Well, that’s easy. I’m calling out Attention Whores.
Attention whores, fortunately but more so unfortunately, are a necessary evil. Where would reality television be without them? Where would fashion be without them? Where would sunglasses in the club be without them (#dopeoplestilldothat?)? Where would the rant from your homegirl or homeboy about their friend or significant other be without attention whores? Life would certainly be a bit more boring, but I’d be willing to deal with that to save myself the stress and/or disdain that comes with dealing with an attention whore. In an effort to solve the ills of society one issue at a time, I’m going to highlight a few of the main types of attention whores out there. I won’t be using any fancy names. It’ll just be hard-body truth. I like the term hard-body (pause?).
The Cordial
You know the person who when you go to work on Monday or any other day of the week and they ask you how your night, day, or weekend was? The person who after you provide them with a short answer goes off on a soliloquy of sorts. They might as well be talking to themselves because you tune them out after a few seconds with a series of “mm hmm” and “that’s awesome” type replies. This is the person who you never want to ask how things are going unless you’re running to get on a bus or catch a cab. What makes this person an attention whore? Well, they’ll do this with every person they talk to even after explaining their life in front of a collective of the same people.
The Fashionist
No disrespect to any of the designers and fashion folk out there, but this is the type that is always dressed in glamorous or lavish attire no matter the circumstances. They rock designer everything even when they’re at IHOP. They don’t select clothing based on how much they like the items. They select clothing based on how people will respond to the items. This type of attention whore can be scantily clad or overly clad. They’ll use the excuse of “You never know who you’re gonna run into” for every situation where they’re the only person over or underdressed.
Too Cool for School
This type of attention whore is very subtle. They may appear standoffish, but don’t let this trick fool you. This is the shades in the club, nonchalant, and often “oozing with swag” type. They wear shades to appear cool and keep their eyes hidden. Because if you saw their eyes, you’d see them looking out the corner of them for attention.
The Center of the Universe
This may sound like every attention whore, but there is a difference. This person always has to be the life of the party whether it’s jokes or having to be the most vocal person in every discussion. They are constantly seeking validation. When that validation is lacking, you’ll usually find them vying for the #1 spot at whatever the event is regardless of the number of people there.
The Contradiction
This is the person who gets involved in activities and organizations not because they care about the cause or values of the organization, but because they want to be seen. You’ll find an overwhelming number of this type in frats, sororities, and churches.
Bloggers and Avid Aggressive Commenters
Yeah, we got it in us too.
So what do you think? Did I miss any types of attention whores? Did I mislabel a particular group? Do you know any attention whores now? And lastly, are you one at all?
May I Have Your Attention Please,
RSS & Twitter
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Summed up very well.
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Good post! I think two more categories can be added…
The Emo King/Queen:
The person who’s always vying for attention through emotional breakdowns, be it from crappy relationships or nonsensical things that just don’t require that much thought.
Internet Fiend:
This can be an extension from the blogger one. These people feel the need to update their profile pic and facebook status 20x a day. Or tweet at least once every 2 minutes and have at least 200 followers while they themselves only follow 10 people.
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LCD Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 4:05 am
co-sign! lol
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ASmith Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 9:24 am
Oooohhhh… yes on both, and especially the Internet Fiend. I’ve had to defriend a few folks because their statuses were the ONLY ones I ever saw.
I also think the two are usually one in the same. You know the folks who like to put up those vague-ass, emo-as-hell, statuses. The type that use a lot of words to not say anything so someone will come along and ask “awww, are you ok?”
UGH!
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Reecie Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 10:13 am
the fishing for sympathy bit. HATE IT.
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N Aimee Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Ooooh.
Good ones!
The “Internet Fiend” sounds annoying. I’m not on any social networks but when I hear/see ppl discuss someone like this, it really irks me.
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ThripleThreat Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Can speak about it unless I’ve lived it, haha.
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Great post!! You pretty much covered all the AWs, but you forgot “Mr./Mrs. Me Too” That person that every time you do/get something, they did/got the same thing…only better.
Go to Hulu and put in “Penelope SNL” and watch the clips….you’ll get the idea!
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Peyso Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 9:25 am
also known as the “One Upper”
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Anna Nimous Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 12:18 pm
I’ve always called them “toppers” cuz they just have to top your story.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
“topper” is synonymous with “wopper” in my book. I’m not talkin sandwiches or lies.lol.
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N Aimee Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Hahahahaha!
My sister would say this {“Mrs. Me Too”, “One Upper”, “toppers”} is me (although it’s not).
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Here’s another question, how do people deal with the attention wh*res that they interact with in their daily lives?
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BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 8:56 am
For ‘The Center of the Universe’ whore, its hard to deal with because they are seek attention no matter what response you give them.
I believe in constantly shitting on them even if you dont have a hater bone in your body. The act of shitting on them can be done either subtle or with complete recklessness. Dismiss their ideas to a topic as being being corny or wack! Not laughing at their jokes or just looking at them in complete disgust or dissatisfaction could certainly work…Give them a sense that the shock value is not coming from this side of the room…
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ASmith Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 9:25 am
I ignore and avert my eyes. My face will tell you faster than my mouth can that I don’t give a flying flippity dog.
On a good day, I’ll mindlessly “uh-huh” and “that sucks”/”that’s awesome” while they talk.
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Renee Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 11:39 am
One of my best friends is an attention whore, she puts every situation under a microscope, men, work, friends. She constantly complains about not having many close girlfriends but she does, she just doesn’t hangout with them. By her own admissions she likes having something to complain about. I listen because I know one day it’ll be my turn.
Outside of good friends I ignore all attention whores, I’m personally too self centered to care.
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N Aimee Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I either feed into their attn. neediness for the hell of it or if w/ a friend, for the fun of it OR if it’s just too annoying to put up with, I’m honest with them about how they are and confront them about their attn. needing issues.
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele LLC, Destined for Greatness Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 2:42 pm
I look ‘em dead in the eye and tell ‘em to calm down. Then I walk away from the mirror.
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Newly discovered scientific evidence proves that the world does in fact revolve around me. I am your Sun people!
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You must stay pissed of 24/7. LOL. I don’t give anybody that much energy to change my energy. If I am going to get pissed off it will be because of something someone has done to me personally. Attention seekers, who need a little shine can get it, and then I keep it movin.
I have probably just pissed you off right? LOL.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 9:23 am
lol. Don’t let the post fool you. I don’t just walk angry and shooting steam from my ears every time I get into a group of people.
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You hit on every type of attention whore for sure. I think I sit next to the one who’s a combo of at least 3 of these. Some days I can handle it, other days I want to choke puppies.
The shades in the club guy is now the bluetooth in the club guy. Can’t stand that kid. The flashing blue light is gonna make me have a seizure and it’s NOT LIKE YOU CAN HEAR ANYONE ANYWAY! It’s always the ones who have the cheap bluetooths, too. I mean the least you could do is own one of the $120 ones that is noise cancelling and stylish instead of the cheap $30 one that sorta just sits there and blinks.
Lord don’t get me started.
Anyway, I can’t with attention whores. Did your mommy not hug you enough? Did your daddy not tell you he loved you? Well hell, I can’t fix that now. So shut up about your colonoscopy, I don’t care how much your car cost and I REALLY want you to shut up about the 5 trips your boyfriend has planned for you.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 9:25 am
“I REALLY want you to shut up about the 5 trips your boyfriend has planned for you.”
This is actually a pet peeve of mine. I often wonder if women who do this are attention whores or if they’re trying to tell me not to hit on them even though that wasn’t on my agenda?
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ASmith Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 9:33 am
The one I know who does it, does it to be an attention whore. And even if a girl does it to warn you not to hit on her, she’s still got some attention whore in her to think she’s that special. “Oh he’s obviously going to hit on me, let me just warn him…” O_o
My fav is how this last time she pretended to be upset about how her b/f spent two weeks on a cruise that she couldn’t go on because she had to work. This is even though she just got back from the aforementioned 5 trips. ::sigh:: Can’t stand people
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There are some that I follow on twitter that I need to unfollow because their attention whore trait is off the charts. Only problem is I know them in “real life” and all types of drama would ensue. Sigh, so Im resigned to their foolishness.
While I’m sure people could possibly say I may exhibit this from tme to time, I try to check myself. Cause it aint always about me.
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ASmith Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 9:55 am
Folks on Twitter who need love might be the worst. Just all over the place with tweets, RTing stuff they’re mentioned in for no reason. UGH!
I think we’re all guilty of going out of our way to draw attention to ourselves (the avg teenager is the biggest attention whore ever) but it’s the ones who can’t check it at the door and who can’t function unless someone is looking at them that are annoying (and a tad disturbing).
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Miss Sia Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 9:57 am
someone JUSt posted this on twitter and it couldnt have come at a better time —> You don’t have to be flashy to be recognized, & you don’t need validation to know you’re special!
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good list. I’ve definitely been the “too cool for school” but I have never worn sunglasses in the club. I’m too cool for that. LMAO. the fashionist kinda sorta because I’ll dress down in a minute–sneaker head on the low. But even when I’m dressed down/no makeup, I’m still “pulled together” if that makes sense. That’s just how I was raised *shrugs* I think I dislike the center of the universe and the contradiction the most.
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LOL at Bloggers being attention whores. So are all people who post public media secretely searching for attention? Guess I’m a whore then…lolol
The fashonist is an interesting one. I know people who just like to look fresh 24/7 and obviously they want to get a reaction out of people, but if that’s their steez I cant knock it. I guess that would be more borderline.
I used to work with a few people who would constantly tell you all their problems or would be on some shady shyt. I would just tune them out and keep it movin.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 10:15 am
I think with the fashionist, it’s more about why they’re looking fresh as opposed to actually being fresh because they just like to look fresh. Clothing label whores are a different animal of sorts.
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Tunde Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
once again my brother is a label whore. he’s the first black straight man that i know that has a shopper. dude makes a killing off my brother in commission. my brother stays in tyson’s corner.
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I’ve stopped going to places that have the “Shades in the Spot” dude or “The Bluetooth Baller. However, I’ve traded them for the “Uber Hipster Attention Whore”. Yep, those guys.
These attention whores are a special breed, an evolution if you will. You may catch him or her with greased up dirty hair, skinny jeans that look like their whole crew had to help them get them on, some kind of shirt that looks like it came from a thrift store (but really is about $100) and a PBR. And they know damn well they could afford to look like they’ve taken a shower within 3 days.
Mind you, I don’t have a problem with hipsters. Shit, on the right day I may be called one. I just can’t stand the ones that take that shit overboard.
Don’t make me rip those pastel glasses off your face and crush them with my Nikes.
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ASmith Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 10:36 am
Oh yes. The “I’m trying really hard not to look like I tried really hard.”
The PBR-douchebags who think they discovered PBR when I’m here to tell you Southern frat boys BEEN on some PBR. Be for real.
The let me spend 3 hours on my hair to make it look like I got out of bed this way losers.
Uh-huh. I KNOW those guys. I work with them. I want them to disappear.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 10:59 am
I can appreciate PBR because it’s so damn cheap. I have my broke moments too, but dammit, if you have some money don’t act like you really like that crap.
I could drink water all day, piss in a glass, chill it and I’m sure it would taste the same.
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ASmith Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 11:49 am
They surely do drink it like it’s a gift from heaven. No, pimpin. It’s cheap beer. Tastes like cheap beer. Smells like cheap beer. It’s cheap.
Am I the only one who prefers PBR over Natty Lite as if there’s a real difference?
Might be.
#dontjudgeme
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Anna Nimous Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
no girl – you’re not the only one. As someone who attended a PWI – they party hard on the following:
PBR – quick to get in large quantities (you could pick it up at the gas station in OH). Non-keg beer of choice.
Natty Light – another quick high volume drink
Rollin’ Rock – in the keg, for the rugby after-game parties. Can’t do a keg stand, keg toss or line out without a little R&R, lol.
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ASmith Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 12:28 pm
Ahhh yes. Rollin Rock.
Doing big things if you got some Rollin Rock.
#memories
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i loathe attention wh*res. the ones that bother me most are the center of the universe and the contridiction. people who wear sunglasses in the club bother me as well. my brother does this and his excuse is that it completes his outfit. that sounded liked the biggest load of crap to me.
i blog but i still don’t think i’m an attention wh*re.
like miss sia said, most people on twitter are attention wh*res but there are special breeds to take it overboard. to add i think that everyone who reposts their formspring q&a’s on facebook and twitter are attention wh*res. and 4square (or however you spell it) is just corny.
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Miss Sia Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 10:56 am
How could I forget formspring clogging up my timeline! I hope it is a fad that goes away and everyone loses their passwords.
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Tunde Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 11:16 am
i entertained the idea w/o posting my q&a’s on twitter but i scratched the idea completely.
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Reecie Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 11:19 am
the formspring feed to twitter is one of the most self important/attention whoredom concepts I’ve seen in awhile. LOL
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Formspring is the Devil!! It almost got me, had me post a few responses. Then I had to pray about it, tell Satan to get behind me. Now, if only half the people in my timeline would do the same.
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MeteorMan Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 11:07 am
people who wear sunglasses in the club bother me
co-sign. I don’t get it… It’s dark in the club, and your sunglasses are uhem… sun-glasses.
Don’t forget the ones that have the fake prescription glasses. So basically they went to Lens Crafters and stole the sample glasses from the display?! lol
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I like the “I’m Famous in my own head” attention whores, these include play rappers and play models, I never get tired of play rappers on facebook bragging about their single being played on Hot 104.07 in Milwaukee or some other lame place. People who constantly brag about being in the studio but I know studio time isn’t cheap so who has money to be wasting by being on facebook. Then there are the females who are models in there own head who took headshots and booty shots in some creepy basement for some club photographer, so now they think they are celebrities. These people irk me to no end, why do I need to see you nipples and butt-crack on facebook.
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ASmith Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 11:55 am
People who constantly brag about being in the studio but I know studio time isn’t cheap so who has money to be wasting by being on facebook.
It’s cause they’re not in the studio. The way folks brag about being there, hella folks oughta be telling us to go pick up a single or SOMETHING.
I can’t stand folks who lie on the internet. WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?
Oh and those “on my grind” tweets/statuses. Please. How you got time to tell me that if you grinding? I need to see some results.
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Here’s another category:
The internet gangsters. How are you gonna be hard on facebook and twitter? Who are you think you’re scaring? This kills me over and over.
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Urgg.. I work with the The Cordial AW. I hate to even say good morning, because it leads into a full blown conversation….what happened last night, on the way to work, etc, etc. She always has a story and never shuts up!!!! If I ignore her and no one is here she gets on the phone. Drives me nuts…glad I found your site… You nailed it!
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