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Things I Don’t Ever Wanna Do Again
Do that sh*t yourself homie...literally.
I was having a conversation at work the other day about picking up dog sh*t. It doesn’t really matter how or why this came up. All that matters is that picking up dog sh*t is the main reason I will never have one for a pet. It’s also one of the things that I hope I never have to do for anybody as a favor. Let me rephrase. I hope that I never have to walk someone’s dog, because this would mean I’d have to pick up its droppings. How’s that for a post intro? Anyways, in an effort to keep it light and because I’m incredibly stressed out about my upcoming move, I’ve decided to list some of the things that I don’t ever wanna have to do…again.
Ask My Mom for Money
I wrote a post a while ago on things I learned from my momma when she came to visit me in Boston. One of those things was that I could live off a lot less money than I thought. Well, I ended up with a lot less income than I thought for a while. Then it came time for me to get my life in order to move to NYC with no relocation package. I told her about my expenses and the stress of the transition and she made me a small financial offer I couldn’t refuse. I love my momma…and I don’t ever wanna have to ask her for or accept anything again other than potato salad, mac & cheese, etc.
Change an Eye Wash Station Out at a Metal Fabrication Shop
When I graduated from college, I entered a big corporation’s “management training program” in Boston. It was one of those programs where they want you to learn the business from the bottom and work your way up in order to “enhance credibility.” For me, that required wearing some tight ass blue pants, a white shirt, and steel-toe boots. It also required me to go into dirty metal fabrication shops and lift gigantic eye wash stations covered in dust, dirt, oil, and grime in the wee hours of the morning. I’m not knocking those who earn an honest living doing this, but I never wanna have to do that sh*t again.
Go to Planned Parenthood
It’s never really a good look for a black male college graduate with a few years of work experience to have to go to Planned Parenthood. If you see me in there, I was probably too embarrassed to go to my regular doctor or my health care coverage got snubbed. But seriously, you’ll never see me in there again.
Have to Say “Baby don’t move!” ¹
This will probably happen in the next 15-30 days.
Apologize for Being Wrong
This will happen tomorrow.
Pay Lawyer Fees
There are exceptions for this one. If I’m suing because I fell on a banana (pause) peel in the supermarket or I’m closing on a house, then paying lawyer fees is okay. Anything else at this point is no bueno.
Vomit
The worst feeling ever.
Yep. That’s it for me today. What are some of the things that you hope you never have to do again?
I never wanna have to scramble to get my post done again,
¹“Baby don’t move!” will only be shouted once the 20 minute barrier is hit. Any mishaps before this will be met with “Oh no…”
24 Responses to “Things I Don’t Ever Wanna Do Again”
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I never want to have to live with more than 1-2 people that are my blood relatives outside of my children (once married)…little to no privacy bites!
I never want to wait this long for a grade again…I’m not happy with this situation!
I never want to scramble to get things done but since I’m a chronic procrastinator, this will probably happen soon.
There is also something else I don’t want to have to do again but since this is a public forum, I will leave that one alone! LOL
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vomit? lol i couple of weeks ago i stuck my finger down my throat on purpose. *shrug* sometimes you just have to do what it do.
other things in which i hope i never have to do again.
-have a roommate.
-check into an emergency room.
-break a girl’s heart.
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Please Excuse Your Significant Other Reply:
May 20th, 2010 at 10:06 am
breaking a girl’s heart is the worst
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Defintely dont want a roomate ever again
Never want to enter into a relationship with an insecure female. Its the absolute worst!
Never want to experience tragedy but i know in life its inevitable
Dont want to have a messed up credit score ever again!
thats all I can think of now
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QueenT Reply:
May 20th, 2010 at 9:45 am
Definitely don’t want to get divorced ever again. That was brutal!
Nothing else really comes to mind. I am sure I will think of something else later.
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I have a couple for right now,
Never want to have sex with a girl while she is on her period again. I want to publicly apologize to my piece for putting him thru that.
Never want to get caught shop lifting again. 6 dollar bottle of shampoo..but I only had 100s on me and I didn’t want to break it. SMH what an idiot!!!
Never want to not have health insurance again. Every time someone brings up a disease all I could think of was ‘damn what if I catch that? How am I going to pay for it?’
and along those lines… never want to have the kind of cholesterol numbers that equal death.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
May 20th, 2010 at 11:13 am
“Never want to have sex with a girl while she is on her period again. I want to publicly apologize to my piece for putting him thru that.”
I can always count on you to take it there. Pause. hahaha
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NEVER EVA want to read anymore of Cheekz’s TMGDI (too much G*tdayum information) tidbits again O_o…lawd!!
Being on empty (gas) when I don’t know where the hell I am, that was not a pleasant experience.
Drive from Maryland to Kentucky by myself; as tired as I was I was too scared to stop, especially in West Virginia.
Being stuck in a foreign country during a hurricane. You talking about someone being glad to see Texas (being that they live in Maryland, lol) as long as they were back in the US.
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
May 20th, 2010 at 8:59 am
CHeeKZ is the King of TMI bullshiggidy.
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Guns & Butter Reply:
May 20th, 2010 at 9:20 am
u don’t know the half..
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CHeeKZ Reply:
May 20th, 2010 at 11:33 am
Y’all are over reacting. This can’t be the first time this topic was brough up in the history of the internets.
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Things I hope I never have to do again…
Lie to a man about his sexual prowess. No more, “Yea, you are my best” or “You are the biggest”. I know I shouldn’t fib, but if he asks, I really don’t want to hurt his feelings. Plus, these little fibs have worked in my favor, but I will never do it again. Promise…
Work for a temp agency/or have a temp job within a company. Neva eva…
Drive through Kentucky or West Virginia. I’m from South Carolina, and the only time I’ve ever felt
like I might get lynchedreally uncomfortable around white people was when I traveled through these 2 states.Co-sign on the roommate.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
May 20th, 2010 at 11:36 am
What do you have against temps? Just asking b/c I seriously considered working it to gain a certain type of experience, but didn’t b/c bank money is sooo reliable.
P.S. You are a size queen, so you might as well just lie to me. No way I can keep it, might as well atleast leave the bed feeling good about myself.
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
May 20th, 2010 at 12:08 pm
No benefits, and unpredictability. I worked with a legal one sexeral years ago, and it sucked. The work was too inconsistent, and I didn’t have the luxury to work 3 months then off 1 month, etc. But if I could work temp in a non-legal industry p/t and keep my current job, then I might consider it. Maybe. But it would have to be a darn near perfect situation.
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Kidney stones…never wanna have to do that again.
Attend the funeral of a close uncle/aunt…but with 8 still living of ‘em, that’s def gonna happen again.
Not having the option to leave my place of employment when I get good and ready to (if I leave early, I have to pay them back for my student loans and to that, I say, no thank yas).
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I never ever wanna fight another person again. – Even if I’m gonna win, I’m still afraid. What happens if I hit him and he dies? Or I die? Or I get a black eye?
I never wanna pull a gun again.
I never wanna workout. – I hate working out.
I never wanna let my phone turn off. – In college I was notorious for this. Its such an embarrasing public display of being broke and I’m sure has cost me so much vag.
I never wanna be the bad guy – I’m not cut out for it.
I never wanna be confused – about life that is
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Satya Reply:
May 20th, 2010 at 11:58 am
I feel you on the phone being turned off. And my friends and I are the kind of a**holes that will e-mail you and say “you know your phone is off. wtf?” it’s embarrassing
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Fall for a guy that’s completely wrong for me
Pop my achilles tendon
Get a bad grade in a class
Search for a job
Live in a bad apartment
i’m sure there’s more but I’ve been working on clearing my mind of bad stuff
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: have another hernia.. it wasn’t even the surgery, it wa the catheter, and everything after..
: date an insecure man.. i can now smell it all over ya!
: drive from Florida to TX… with my mom.. #negative!
: have my mother try to “help” me.. i ALWAYS end up worse than i was before..
: have a roommate that was a friend.. dem hoes be abusin sh*t.. too many stories..
: backslide so much that i don’t even KNOW where God is…
: let my car get so dirty to the point where there are roaches in my trunk.. UGH!!!! that think is SO spotless now..
: be overdrawn on my bank account.. haven’t been since ’08..
: believe my mother when she says “i got it under control”
: be outta gas (literally an dfiguratively) on the I-95.. i mean the car only take $28 to fill.. what was my problem..
: eat liver- yeah, i’m done with that…
i’m sure i got more.. that’s it off the top of my head..
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-I don’t want to be without full-time employment. Temping is the pits. It’s nice to make $ when it’s available but it can be so uncertain
- Borrow $ from grandma. I wouldn’t mind borrowing from my parents, but they’re so financially irresponsible they couldn’t help me in a financial bind
-When I move again, I NEVER want to live with a bunch of family scratch that more than 2 people again. I like privacy and ABHOR when people touch/use my thing w/o my permission
-I never want to use a latex prophylactic again. The itching is unbearable! Polyurethane is my friend =)
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I don’t ever want to move my own stuff again. F*ck this packing sh*t it f*cking sucks.
I don’t ever want to take out a loan again. Sallie Mae is on my back and she’ll be there for awhile.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
May 20th, 2010 at 4:18 pm
If you think having a week to really pack sucks, imagine how I felt last weekend.lol. That sh*t sucked.
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I never wanna listen to a waka flocka song again.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
May 20th, 2010 at 4:31 pm
I guffawed in the office at this. I sorta cosign.
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