Can I Punch You in the Face?
I was chattin’ with Seattle this past weekend and came to a pretty valid and manly (since that seems to be the theme as of late) conclusion. If there’s one thing that gets to me, it’s gotta be b*tch tactics by dudes. I don’t necessarily mean the tactics used on Bromance. I’m talking about the non-parfait yet unmanly or overly manly behavior that leads to acts of violence against them. I’m tryna spare the details behind this post, cuz they’re three different blog entries in themselves.
But honestly, I really hate b*tch tactics when it comes to dudes and tryna bag chicks. It’s the type of ish that’ll ruin friendships, lead dudes to get run up on at inopportune times, or lead dudes to end up layin’ on the ground lookin’ ugly. I’m referrin’ to sh*t like pillow talk, and other things like senseless mean-muggin’, and excessive let off of swag. Sometimes I really just wanna punch certain dudes in the throat and ask ‘em to speak to me. Slim has a temper. Today is a good day to let folks know a few things that tip his scale toward violence.
Pillow talk. This drives me nuts. Dudes, who in the process of tryna holler at chicks, throw NaCL (salt) on other men. Like layin in a bed with a pillow under his head gossiping about things that other men have done and why the chick should stay away from someone…especially men that the chick may be interested in. Some may call this “bein’ a good friend”. I call this some real b*tch @ss ish. For a man to have to tear down another man (pause?) to get some bunz or the wifey of his dreams is herbish (pronounce the H). If your natural personality, beat game, and daily interaction aren’t good enough to bag the chick, you’re not gettin’ it done. You need to fall back, re-evaluate your game plan, and keep it moving. Don’t sink to throwin sand/salt in the eyes of another man. That’s some real b*tch ish.
Mean Muggin. What sense does it make to see a dude talkin to the chick you like or used to date and then mean mug the dude? You don’t know what type of artillery he got. Unless he ends up doin’ a Plaxico, you’re prolly gonna end up in a bad situation unless you got sumthin equally as powerful. In that case, you’re prolly just gonna go to jail and not bag the chick anyway. If yall both don’t got weapons, what’s the sense in “almost” starting a fight? Is your ego worth potentially gettin’ choked out in front of a group of people like this basketball player I choked out in college? Is it worth walkin’ into work the next day with a large discolored lump over your eye? Yeah, that’s what I thought. B*tch @ss ninja. By the way, when did this ninja word become such a clean substitute?
Excessive Swag. Nothin is wrong with swag and confidence. It’s helped dudes stay safe in prison and it helped The Rock become a household name. But when you’re walkin’ around actin’ like God’s gift, you’re puttin’ a bulls eye on your back. Have some humility or poontang humble pie. If you don’t wanna be tested, turn that down a notch. Nobody likes bein’ talked down to or looked down upon by someone who overestimates how great they are (People considering Greek life or recently crossed should remember this). Take off that tight t-shirt that got you feelin brave or stop rollin with your cronies for a few days and see how you feel in public. If the swag persist, power to you. You must be the next little guy with a Big personality. If not, can I punch you in the face? You’re askin’ for it.
So yeah, Slim has a little bit of anger today.lol. Better to let it off here than commit some reckless act that’ll lead to numerous court appearance even though I’ll end up beatin’ raw the charge anyway. Nonetheless, on with the jib jab. What type of b*tch tactics really piss you off? Thoughts? C’mon. Let it out. Any and everything. I know you wanna punch someone in the face…
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P.S. Slim Jackson does not condone violence…usually.
63 Responses to “Can I Punch You in the Face?”
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CHURCH!
The more I read, the more I know we are related and all too much the same.
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Well, I used to have a lot of guy friends, but I never really witnessed any b*tchass tactics firsthand. Of course I prolly wasn’t even paying any attention, cause we used to just get our drink on and play spades or bones. But I know fa sho bout some b*tchass female ways.
Two things I cannot abide by are cattiness and being two-faced. My dude has 8 got damn sisters and ALL of em are catty as hell AND two-faced. Not just to me but to each other as well. Now individually, toward me, they’re aiight; but get them heffas in a group and it’s on. Eye-rollin, teeth suckin, snide remarks – the works.
And I swear fo’ God if it wasn’t for the fact that they’re related to my dude, every last one of them hoes woulda BEEN GOT the fire knocked out of em a LONG time ago.
*exhaling slowly*
Dammit Slim, don’t post any more angry stuff, lol – it’s contagious.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 12:56 am
Didn’t that release feel good though?lol.
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RedBeanzNRice Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 1:29 am
Heh, heh, heh. My fist having a convo with one of their faces would feel much better.
But since that’s not entirely possible, I have to say yes. Yes the release DID feel pretty damn good, lol.
So instead of “dammit Slim”, I’ll say Thank You, Slim, lol.
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Allow me to be the devils advocate in your first scenario. I’m someone whose always had a lot more male friends versus female friends. Way back in the day when I was dating some lame who cheated on me, one of my guy friends finally broke down and told me. Of course all the guys were upset with him for doing this because he was sorta friends w/ my ex. Obviously I appreciated him telling me so I didn’t go on dating the lame dude. I understand from the guys perspective this is kind of a bitch move.
Let me ask you this though, flip the script, if you had a good female friend who was cool with a girl you were dating, wouldn’t you expect female friend to let you know if the girl were shady? Say she saw your girl in the club with all up on some guy, and go home with him. Would you want the female friend to just turn the other cheek because of some unwritten girl code? Or be more loyal to you, her closer friend?
Just being devils advocate, don’t get too mad
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MikeyThaGreat Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 1:45 am
I think Slim was talking more about of a guy who’s tryna get with you and is badmouthing another guy who is vying for your attention. That’s looked upon as big no no in the realm of Acceptable Man Behavior. Throwing salt on another man’s game will not get you drafted into the “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” The story you drew upon sounds more like a homeboy who was lookin’ out for you.
Funny thing is I could understand why all the guys were upset with him. The more acceptable way to handle it, would’ve been for him/them to approach the lame you were dealing with. That’s IF those cats were really your homeboys. Only homegirls should come straight to you with info like that.
“Girl, you know that nigga *insert lame’s name* is cheating on you?!” Does that sound right coming from a man’s mouth??? (pause)…
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 10:54 am
For women though, this is also a sticky subject (telling a friend her man is cheating). That almost doesn’t sound right coming from a woman’s mouth either. We too have rules. If its your homegirl, and she’s all head over heels for a dude, chances are that she will brush off what you are saying, pretending like she doesn’t know the deal, and keep rocking with dude until she decides on her own its time to step.
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
…or the friend will think you’re hating because she thinks you are a) jealous because you’re single b) trying to holla at her dude on the low, or c) angry that your current boo is effing up.
so yeah, i think that sort of information doesn’t come off well from either a man or a woman.
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Steph Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Yeah, I completely agree with you and Vanessa. Women tend to get extreme cases of denial when friends tell them their man is cheating.
In my circumstance, the guy friend told me for two reasons, one because he did like me as more than a friend (although understood I didn’t feel the same way), and cuz he thought it was wrong and thought I deserved to know.
I recognize that it was kind of shady he told me, but at the same time as women, or men, I think we all hope we have good enough friends to let us know when we’re being made a fool of by our SO.
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CHeeKZ$ Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 11:11 am
I have been a dude in this situation before. To put it basically, always stick by the dude. Not saying the dude is the better freind, but social norms will pressure the girl into understanding why you alliance went that way.
Same rules apply for the girl, she should tell her me freind if she thinks his woman is playing him. Girls are just expected to gossipy and share info. Men are suppose to know how to keep their mouths shut and don’t snitch. Its a stereotype, but if you want to keep your freinds you abide by it.
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Pillow Talk – > An offense usually committed by a lame who’s lacks the necessary essentials to seal the deal. Sad part is, a majority of the time they STILL don’t get to beat… Ladies keep your guard up around these kind of guys. They’re the type to scratch and pull your hair after an argument.
Mean Muggin -> Bitchassness at it’s finest. Eye fighting does nothing but solidify the fact that guy has “vagina envy”. Would even go as far as rocking a maxi pad so he can “see how it feels”
Excessive Swag -> Cats like this just need to knock it off. They don’t learn until they get slapped up and/or sonned in public; in front of the same general audience who’s attention and adulation they so dearly yearn for. What does it get them??? Teary eyes and a crowd that’s pointing and laughing at them. Can’t mean mug with blurry vision and a shattered manhood…
Slim go ‘head and be upset. There are man laws of governing that get broken way too often. But we can’t go around chin checking every offender. I can’t front tho, palm hugging a dude’s face after his habitual law breaking (RightCoast knows) may be needed from time to time. In the end, they always end up in last place because losing is all that they’re used to. Sorta like the Charlotte Bobcats and Detroit Lions…
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RedBeanzNRice Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 1:35 am
“Mean Muggin -> Bitchassness at it’s finest.”
Eye fighting ESPECIALLY if you have no weapons is really asking for it.
It’s like being an “Internet Soldier” all hard on the keyboard and sh*t, but can’t do nothin in person. It’s like tryna bring a laptop to a gun fight.
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MikeyThaGreat Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 1:51 am
Lol, word. “Internet Soldiers” are another topic altogether. Those people kill me when they type tough on the message boards, AIM, etc…
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Joey Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
lol @ bringing a laptop to a gunfight. lol.
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RightCoastLexSteele, The Caribbean Cocksman Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 5:32 am
Bo knows, but Lex did it.
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Co-sign
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You guys are good…do you have creative meetings or something? Well the topics of the past three days are just revealing that there is a sickening downward spiral of manhood nowadays. It didnt start when Diddy coined the term, it just helped put a name to the actions. Pillow talking is the worst offense ever and the sad part is that 42% percent of the crimes committed are friend on friend crimes. (60% of stats are made up on the spot) But cats that purposely spread venom on your good name are just straight up bitches. There are some rules to this game and if you gonna play you need to abide by them. Cant hang? “Then dont sell dope, Frank! Get a f*cking job!” Like the Great one said, these dudes always end up last. At the end of the day, shorty gonna see you for chump that you are and more than likely you’ll end up on dontdatehimgirl.com. (That’s a real website)
Steph, I see where your coming from but like my man said it depends on the circumstance. If a dude is snitching on his LB just to get to you, then he must put to death at once. If he’s known you longer or has a better relationship with you then he did with your ex, the court may dismiss the case, but at the end of the day, there are rules to this sh*t!
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first off, wooooosaaaaah my good man…lol…
but yeah, as a woman, men’s b*tch@ssness is horribly annoying… i think that the one thing that will always get me is when men are just as moody (or more) and just as attitudinal (or more) as women… i’m not the woman who says “i don’t roll with females cuz blah blah blah”. i roll tight with my girls till some attitude and mood swings start poppin off. then i dip. but if a dude is doing the same thing?!?!? hell nah… PASS!!!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 10:43 am
Male moodiness can very. If dude is happy one moment and crying the next…he’s prolly got some serious issues/things going on. I have my bouts of anger or not wantin’ to be bothered, but it’s not like it happens the same time every month or changes according to who I’m hanging with.
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You know what annoys the hell out of me? These prima donna dudes who think that just because they’ve got something going for themselves, I’m supposed to fall at their feet. Nevermind whether or not our personalities are compatible. This one guy once said to me, “I mean I look good and you look good. I think we would be a good look, but you be bull-ishing…”
Yeah, because you say dumb ish like that…
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Do you live in Atlanta or any other city where straight Black men with a career are an endangered species?
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Robin Monique (formerly Skinny Black Girl) Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 11:27 am
I’m in Cleveland. But maybe because I only associate with people like myself, I don’t believe there’s a shortage. Or I’m just not that thirsty for a man that I’d settle for a dude with zero personality.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Only say that because I’ve heard from various ladies that dudes living in areas where there aren’t many other semi-successful Black males will feel a sense of entitlement.
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Joey Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
I can attest to that, Seattle. Successful black (straight) men in ATL definitely think that because they are a rarity, women should just be happy with the minimum. Moving here forced me to completely adjust my radar from the normal type of negroes that I mess with. Right off the bat, if I feel the smallest sense of entitlement coming from his direction, I’m out the door.
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
ooh i knew a guy like that, too. he thought he was so fly, and i was just supposed to give it up when he “clicked his finger”. he must have forgotten that i’m fly, too lol
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Preach Rev.Slim!
Lawwwd ha’mercy!!!
I’ve been in an anger stance for a few days now too. And you right! I need to let it out
get offthru 3ways or I will become the next mall bomber!!Here are a few b*tch tactics that have caused me to fantasize about decapitating heads:
-taking credit 4 other ppl work/ideas
-lying to my face even tho I done caught you in yur lie already!!!
-dudes wearing skinny jeans then hollering out in the middle of times square “I aint gay yo..I aint gay” (ok maybe that’s a lil off topic, but it had me sniggling & fuming)
-when yur supposed bff’s/cousin choose their man over you…even tho you were there w her thru thick and thin???? Man and no man?????
Woooosaaaaaaa…Can I get an Amen???!!
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ChokLitFacory Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Damn…I feel you on this one. Especially about ur girl choosing her wack-ass man over u! That ish pisses me off to the Umph Degree!! Females should never be so desperate for a man like that, in my opinion, but it is ALL too common!!
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Yeah Whatev Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
CO-SIGN! And may the chuuch say amen!
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I co-sign as well. Geez…
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
When a woman chooses a man over her friends, there are lots of things wrong with that whole picture…
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
I’m gonna have to disagree. Have you heard the R. Kelly (minus the urine) song called “Real Talk”?
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
You tellin me!!
I’ve had female friends get a ring and just drop off the face of the earth…I’ve seen female friends ditch me to be w some dude and then the dude just ups and goes out w his friends and this female friend is expected to “know her place” and stay the *uck home……???!!!
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Peyso from the Brook Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
I think there is a line that we must walk. Should wo/man stay at home with their SO and leaves the squad when the SO is sick or something? Yes they should. Should they stay home when the SO just doesnt want them to go out despite this event being planned for weeks? No they shouldnt
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RightCoastLexSteele, God's Gift to Humanity Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
I dont know…I think you need to let shorty get her Vitamin D. I’d never get mad at one of boyz for chilling with his chick. It’s called QT baby!
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Vitamin D will be there on the couch when she get back!!! lollllll….the issue is not about not spending quality time with your boo…its about not being able to find that balance btw friends & lover…shit if i can do it…I feel like my girl can do it too!!
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I have to cosign this entry. Especially the pillow talk comment. If you in the bed with the jawn and ya talkin about another man, you should be shot, plain and simple. I promise you that anytime I’ve been in the bed with a jawn, not near another man’s name has come up unless she was screamin for BBJ.
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I would also like to note I am proud to the eyewitness to the Slim choking out homeboy incedent. He was Most Def an internet solider.
I have been witness to alot of threewaystotake Stories…. lol. Would the authors of this site please stop commiting crimes in my presence, thank you.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 11:53 am
I wouldn’t have choked him out if the ref didn’t throw the flag for violating all sorts of man laws. He’s lucky I didn’t just Terry Tate him at his job.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Not guilty.
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RightCoastLexSteele, God's Gift to Humanity Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
I saw Tiff kick 3 orphans at a community service event.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
I plead the fif.
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Example of bitchassness?
When someone is always trying to one-up you. Not because they’re sooo ambitious, but because they want to overstep you. And you can tell. Buy a 3 bedroom house? They gotta have 5 bedroom crib right after hearing about yours. Buy a 52″ TV? They must have that theater projector. It’s no coincidence when you talk about accomplishing something, they turn around and try to do you one better. Heffer this ain’t Poker.
In funnier (to myself) news…
“Take off that tight t-shirt that got you feelin brave or stop rollin with your cronies…”
When I read that, I sung “rollin with your cronies” to the tune of “rollin with the homies” from Clueless. Oh, Clueless, you always have a way of fitting into everyday life.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Did you do the hand motion, too, while you sang it?
Rollin~~~wit~~~the~~~homies
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
I wanted her to throw that tape out in the fireplace…do it…do it!!!!!
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Cheekie Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
“Did you do the hand motion, too, while you sang it?
Rollin~~~wit~~~the~~~homies”
You know it! The hand motion completes Rollin wit the homies.
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Joey Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
LOL yall are wilin’. Clueless is the movie tho.
Yeah, Mr. Me Too’s are NOT cool. That goes under the low self esteem man I’m about to discuss.
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“Take off that tight t-shirt that got you feelin brave or stop rollin with your cronies for a few days and see how you feel in public.”
Tight-tee’s on men are like little dresses on women: your (insert desired part of accentuation here) is not that big, it’s obvious that your garment is too small.
Inconsistency is also pretty bitch ass to me. There have been guys I know who sometimes speak when they see me in public, and sometimes don’t, LAME. Or, my favorite, men who complain about a woman so much it’s deafening, but can’t seem to fall back from her. As one of my greatest man-friend’s in college once said, “If you don’t like it then get the f*ck out; if you love it too much to leave it then shut the f*ck up.” Bitch ass motherfu…
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Just wondering, CHeeKz$ and Cheekie, any relation??
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CHeeKZ$ Reply:
January 9th, 2009 at 5:29 am
that’s a no…. but if the name cheekie is in reference to her backside, she could be my wifey by the end of the next threewaystotakeit luncheon.
j/k……….. but I’m serious though.
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it really irritates me when dudes complain about women gossiping all the time when dudes do it also. dudes may not call it gossiping, but if a guy finds himself telling his homie that this girl is a jumpoff or this chick’s pumpum is wack… thats gossip!
really, the bitchassness is when dudes complain about their business being all in the street, and blaming it on women. like seriously, if you don’t want people to know, do a better job of choosing who you conspire with, and/or avoiding that behavior/person all together, plain and simple. and as evidenced by the pillow talk point, a lot of times, it’s the homeboy that’s ratting you out.
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Like layin in a bed with a pillow under his head gossiping about things that other men have done and why the chick should stay away from someone…especially men that the chick may be interested in. Some may call this “bein’ a good friend”.
AHEM! I call it being a great friend! I have made alot more guy friends than female friends over the past year. Just because they help guide me in this “dating world.” Anytime I’m confused while dating a guy, I definitely turn to one of my guy friends for help. I also look to my girlfriends too, but I just think a guy’s opinion gives better insight to why a guy might do something or say something. Of course, I’m not a robot and I have a mind of my own, but I do need some guidance here and there. The last guy I dated seemed to good to be true, but I was falling for him anyway. My guy friends with a lot of experience told me, “That cat is most likely running game, so play it cool. Tell him to wait a year (for it).” I was planning to tell this guy to wait a year after we dated for a while, but it’s good that I told him sooner rather than later. How fast that punk ran just confirmed that he was just out to serve himself. I’ve also started to ask the guys who used to want to date me for dating advice. I think it’s a good tactic. I’m going to see how it works. Just don’t blame the guys who want to help a girl watch out for the bastards. It’s a community service!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
There is a distinction between throwing salt and offering friendly advice. Also gotta consider the intentions of the dude. If he’s tried to get at you in the past and still tries to occasionally get at you, it blurs the line of friend/pillow talk.
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Yeah Whatev Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Yeah, I know the difference. That’s why I follow the advice of the guys who have always been only my friends. Then I do the opposite of what the guys who used want to date me tell me, because I already don’t trust them. Keep friends close and enemies (though they’re not really my enemies) closer, right? It’s a good tactic that I’m trying out for now.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Throw in an additional four cents…
While your male friends may have your best interest in mind, the dudes that Slim’s referencing blatantly throw salt on their foe just to get at you. If the dudes in question don’t know the next man and don’t want to play hide the sausage with you, then you’re right. They may just be good friends.
Otherwise, report them to the authorities for breaking several Man Laws.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Play hide the sausage? LOL!
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RightCoastLexSteele, God's Gift to Humanity Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Wait a year? For it? uh…wow… I’da been out like Usain Bolt too…
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I like your post man. Man is all about RESPECT, when a man acts up or down with a sissy puss then he no longer is a man and that man knows that for sure cuz like the old saying…even the walls have ears. I hope you punch that bitchass doode in his face slim.
Tenzin
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Since I can’t remember seeing this name before, welcome to Three Ways! If I don’t post for a few months, it’s cuz I got locked up.lol.
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Peyso from the Brook Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
i think jails will let u get on the PC these days lol
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All the examples of b*tch@$$ne$$ you described can be summed up into one ridiculously annoying trait: low self esteem. I think that a real man ought to just have a certain level of confidence that just exudes from his pores. Not excessive (swagger), but just enough to let you know that he’s got it like that. Women love a man with confidence; I’ve seen some of the ugliest, brokest men with fly chicks on their arm simply because of the way they carry themselves.
When a man is talking bad about other men, mean muggin, or trying to be extra, it’s usually indicative of a severe lack of confidence, and/or need to over-compensate. This might result from a bad previous experience with a female, a small penis (keepin it real), or just a lifetime of unfortunate unattractiveness. Either way, men (and women) often feel the need to put others down in order to increase their own self worth, and this inevitably leads to someone getting punched in the face.
I really think this all has to do with the media, and the pressures of society to be something we’re not. It used to be only women that were being objectified in the media, but now with all these rappers and athletes putting their financial figures and penis size all out there for other men to see, a lot of men just don’t feel like they measure up (haha, measure up). If men stopped trying to compare themselves to others, much less Jay-Z and Diddy, most of this punkness would eventually go away. Men wouldn’t be competing for a Bromance. Wouldn’t be 30 men fighting over one ghetto, ugly woman (named after a northern city). And less of our fine black men (who DO have it) would be locked up (Slim) for punching b1tch*$ in the face.
And world peace. =)
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Cheekie Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
“All the examples of b*tch@$$ne$$ you described can be summed up into one ridiculously annoying trait: low self esteem.”
Co-sign! That’s exactly what I was thinking while reading this post. Nine times outta ten, the excessive swagger is for show (read: frontin’) and it’s not truly indicative of high self-esteem…it’s the opposite, actually.
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Wannabe nouveau money black people who think they are God’s gift because they have a degree or two from a barely accredited Tier 2 university. EVERYBODY has a degree these days. Get over yourself!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 8th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
This sh*t made me laugh. That’s kinda mean.lol.
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