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Put The Games Away
Like To Play Games? We've Got One For You...
Welcome to the First Annual Three Ways Co-Ed Conference. I know there’s a lot we want to cover today, like post sex etiquette, rules for the playoffs and other big sporting events and setting a statute of limitations for friends with benefits. But I wanted to offer up some new legislature first. I would like to ask for a moratorium on games. After polling some of the more senior members in the League of Cocksmen, I’ve noticed a lot of unneeded stress and miscommunication from playing along, getting caught up or failing at a game most didn’t even know was being played. I now suggest that we put all games aside after a designated flirting and courting period. That’s called compromise. Ladies please understand, some of us are too “simple”, too tired, too busy and/or too stubborn to deal with the Milton Bradley antics.
To cut through the bullsh*t lessen the amount of tension between the sexes, I propose the following action points:
1.) Take It Back to the Old School
You like him, he might like you, you might like each other. You just want to have fun and not do anything serious with him? You think he’s the one or at the very least the prototype? Well then express it. No apprehension, no games to find out what he’s feeling, no run around to finally get to your desired destination. Remember what they told you in elementary school – the fastest way to something is a straight line. So be straight. #NoHomophobe. I know what you’re thinking, “What if he doesn’t like me?” Well he may or he may not. Welcome to adulthood. Sometimes things don’t go your way.
2.) Say What You Mean… And Then Mean It
OK, so we’ve gotten past the first stage of being upfront. However, a lot of times women may say what they think we want to hear instead of saying what they really mean. Or they may just be bat sh*t crazy. The other night I was hanging out with Mr. Roarke and Black Bruce Wayne (that’s a whole different story in itself) and this one young lady told BBW and I a story about her younger brother and his ex-girlfriend.
After a long period away from each other, the two of them started to talk again as a lot of estranged couples do. The ex-girl was “upfront” with her loving ex-boyfriend. She told him from the get go that she just wanted to hook up without any attachments or expectations. Some time goes by and suddenly she called him up to say she couldn’t do it anymore. Concerned, he probed for a bit and of course she finally opened up. She told him that she expected him to eventually make it exclusive and wife her up. o_O You see games help no one folks. At the end of the day, you’ll just end up f*cked. Literally and figuratively.
3.) Take What We Say At Face Value
In other words, believe what we say when we say it. For example, if he says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, that means he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. It doesn’t mean that you can sex bamboozle him into one. I know some dude, said some thing, then did some thing else and now you don’t trust the next one. By that logic, I shouldn’t trust you because my momma said so. And we all know Momma Washington is always right. Trust me, we’re all getting to an age where it doesn’t make sense not to be upfront. See first point. I know you may not say what you truly want, but I can promise you that those Cocksmen out there will.
I propose these three steps in order to fully eradicate games and all gamesmanship from relationships. Please realize this is not only for men, it will save women breath, time, effort and give them more time to watch whatever show you like as well as please their men. This will lead to better relationships and possibly world peace. I bet you the war in Afghanistan could’ve been stopped if Bush got some bush. Just a theory. So if nothing else, do it for your country.
Men do you have any amendments? Ladies do you concur? I motion to begin voting.
Seattle – The Cocksman From Queens County – Washington
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I.LOVE.THIS.POST!! #3 particularly touched my soul! I’ve been guilty of hearing what I want to hear instead of what was actually said (and demonstrated).
Thankfully, I’m at a point in my life now where I know exactly what I want and don’t have a problem saying it. If I meet a man and we’re not on the same page there’s no harm, no foul. I just say, “It was nice meeting you.” then I throw the two and carry on with my life. I’m 32 (or as my baby cousin says “extra-grown”) and I don’t have time for high school shenanigans.
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“Yay or Nay?”
*Raises hand* Yay.
“Motion passed”
“Meeting adjourned and problem solved. Bring on world peace!” Lol
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Seattle Washington Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 12:41 am
That has to be the quickest discussion between a man and a woman ever. Lol. We’re setting world records Lola!
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Lola Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 1:15 am
Lol! I agre! But all jokes aside, I’m so damn tired of these games. I’ve always been straight forward, I juust don’t understand why some females and males resort to this. When females do it, it gives us (sane females) a bad reputation. When males do this, it makes the good guys (that are hidden bad boys) look and seem like complete douchebags, its a lose lose deal. I want a win win deal! Lol
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this is hilarious.. mostly because there’s a lot of things that i say all up and down this post..
#2 is my BIGGEST relationship pet peeve… my ex was good for the “well, i’m leaving” stunt.. then when i opened the door he’d get p*ssed i didn’t want him to stay.. which annoyed the monkey poo outta me.. but then again, he was the girl in the relationship, so his behavior makes sense..
i can’t stand people that speak when they mean exactly the opposite.. it just makes for trouble all around..
i look at them and i’m like, “don’t make me hate you..”
i’m gonna go on the humble and say that i needed to hear #3.. i’ve heard it before, but i needed to hear it again.. so thank you wise man..
i bet i’ll think of something oh so witty in the morning.. bur for now, that’s all i got…
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Lola Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 1:44 am
“Monkey poo” Lol…
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I’ve been on my foolish shxt lately so I’ll save the comments. Great post & I agree 137%. Hence why I’ve been promoting the post lol ^_^ I just ended a game of my own..
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Co-Sign!
I hate games! I just had to end a relationship over some ole game playing BS….I don’t have the energy nor the time.
I second the motion!
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I support this movement from EVERY angle. I support it- I promote it- I will rock a t-shirt about it.
I maintain that if everyone were just upfront with stuff a lot of drama would be dropped off on both ends. I think often women (and men do it too just not as widespread) will hide part of what they want in order to get something. I’ve surely been guilty of it… sexin’ when I really wanted something more. I’m really working hard though at being upfront with guys and insisting that they be upfront with me but alas- it’s a two way street.
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Great post, Seattle!
THIS, especially:
“You like him, he might like you, you might like each other. You just want to have fun and not do anything serious with him? You think he’s the one or at the very least the prototype? Well then express it. No apprehension, no games to find out what he’s feeling, no run around to finally get to your desired destination. Remember what they told you in elementary school – the fastest way to something is a straight line. So be straight. #NoHomophobe.”
This is my main beef with habitual cheaters. If you ain’t the committing type, just be straight up with yo mate! I’m SURE there is someone out there (man OR woman) willing to go with the flow with you with no strings attached (no NSYNC). Just be man/woman enough to admit it, it ain’t like open relationships are taboo…
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I’d have to agree w/ this post! I’m new here but I think I’ll stick around. Good points were made in this point, especially the point about just stating what you want up front. That’s sometimes the hardest thing to do because once you put things out there you run the risk of being rejected. But as stated, rejection and things not going yout way is all apart of growing up and being an adult!
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It ALL makes sense, I concur. I also feel at the same time that men often go for what they want when they truly want it. Women don’t always do so because they want to be courted, chased, or whatever…pretty much feel like a woman when it comes to these types of things. It would be great if games were non-existent…..but yeah COMMUNICATION is huge. We all should learn to use it a lil more. Make sure you have enough verbal comm to go with all that non-verbal and body language. Also, remember it is up to the sender of the message to clearly convey the message for the receiver. Just kinda sucks that often times the receiver truly never gets it because of their own issues or the sender partakes in double speak. Smh
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Laguna Slim Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 1:41 pm
I see you Dede. I see you.
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good point. the i can s*x him into a relationship swindle is the worst. i know i clearly stated to you that i wasn’t looking for anything serious when we started this. you like an adult made a conscious decision to press forward. now if you have a change of heart and don’t want to continue then by all means it’s your prerogative. what you won’t do is try to guilt me into a relationship. you know where i stood, it hasn’t changed. your p***y may be good but it’s not lined in platinum.
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I concur on this entire post. #1 and #2 I’m pretty good with, #3 I’m getting better at all the time. I’m very up front in the beginning and I agree with dede that verbal communication is key throughout the relationship.
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Standing Ovay
#3 and #4 were a major reason why I broke up with an ex or3..lol
They just dont understand then men mean what they say..crazy!
Good ish SeaW
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The only game that is cool is when she says “I don’t usually …..” and I go “Sure, i’ll tell you when ….”
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Seattle Washington Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 1:35 pm
LMAO.
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Bravo!
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