Should We Be Offended?
Because this is what Black people look like...
We live in very “diverse” society. Although I hate that word, it is one of the best ways to describe this little melting pot of cultural and ethnic goodness that we call America. As a result of all the mixing and mating mingling of people, we are all bound to pick up pieces of what makes one particular culture unique. It may be food, a certain holiday, or style of talk or dress. On its face, there is nothing wrong with this. Yet some White people manage to take the “enjoyment” of other cultures a little too far, and try to call it appreciation or celebration:
If you haven’t heard yet, some fraternity at the Univeristy of California-San Diego was stupid (yes I said stupid) enough to have a “ghetto” themed party, called the “Compton Cookout.” When one of our readers brought this article to our attention, it reminded me of a similar story from 2 or 3 years ago about a group of law students at the University of Connecticut who had a similarly themed party. Apparently the fraternity’s Facebook invitations encouraged patrons to dress up in FUBU, White Ts, start fights, wear cheap weaves and otherwise act “ghetto.” It also pointed out that 40′s, “dat purple drank,” and watermelon would be served, all in attempts to celebrate and pay respects to Black History Month. Are you effing kidding me? If you’re interested, here is the University’s response.
After I read the article, I tried to articulate exactly what about this story offends me. Is it because I am from a “ghetto” where people drink 40-ounce bottles of St. Ides from brown paper bags whilst they stand on corners? Or maybe because it’s extremely disturbing that after all of the things that Black people have done and continue to do, we still get pigeon-holed in the small brains of some people who think we should honored because of the”ghetto” things. Before I go on, I must say this:
When you have these kinds of parties, you are not imitating Black culture. You aren’t commemorating anything. You are not making yourself look cool. You are offending people and making yourself and the people you roll with look like idiots, and dare I say, a little racist.
For the sake of argument, let’s say that these kids didn’t foresee their party backfiring in this way. Maybe we can blame it on the short-sidedness of youth. Even if this were the case, I still think these people suffer from the same ailment as some other White folks. It’s called
Ignorance.
I’m not talking about ignorance simply in the sense that there is something that they don’t know. I’m talking about an ignorance that inhibits some people’s ability to filter their actions or words. It’s an ignorance that keeps these folks from being able to see how or why something they do or say could be offensive to someone else. And let me be clear. I am not implying that all White people fall victim to this unfortunate mental state, or that this strain of ignorance is limited to only White people. Lord knows that’s not the case. However, I have heard too many stories, and have had many first hand experiences that lead me to believe that some White people just don’t know any better.
What does this mean for the people offended or caught off guard by the ignorance?
I have been trying to figure this out. I think it comes down to knowing when and how to pick your battles. There will be times when Joan from accounting drops a “Hey sista-girl” or Bill from IT comes up to you in the break room and said “What’s up homie?” Both of these people think they are doing something nice or right. Do you go ape-$#*t on them? Report them to some higher authority? Probably not. If anything, you make a joke out of it and find a way to educate them. But what about when a man tells you he won’t be hire you because another “diverse candidate” has gotten one of the 3 available spots? Or when your boss points out that fact that you should have known you were going to be in diversity brochure because, well, “You’re black, aren’t you?” P.S. all of these stories actually happened.
So when should you be offended? Is there a threshold number of times someone has to say something kinda crazy to you before you address the issue? Or do some situations warrant no attention at all? Should we care that White people have “ghetto” themed parties? Why or why not? Have you had some uncomfortable experiences, but couldn’t tell if you should be offended or not? What did you do? Share your stories.
I don’t wanna be offended no more,
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As a black girl attending a PWI of higher learning, OF COURSE incidents like this have happened to me. One time my (caucasian) room mates and I were all in the living room listening to the radio, talking, reading magazines etc,. At one point a popular rap song comes on and they all get up and start dancing like they’re at the club. I kind of looked up at them and laughed and continued with the quiz i was taking in the magazine. Then one of the girls say “Come on, we know YOU know how to drop it like it’s hot”
Now if this was a situation where we had gone out dancing before, and they saw me “dropping it like its hot”, I wouldn’t have been offended by her comment. But none of my roommates had ever seen me dance before, and the truth of the matter is, I don’t do booty dances b/c i’ve always found them degrading. So the only conclusion, I could draw from her statement was: You’re a black girl so you MUST know how shake your behind.
I just told her that “actually I didn’t know how” and left it at that. I honestly don’t think she was trying to be offensive, and I don’t think she’s racist, but it just goes back to what you said about having a personal filter before you let something just pop out your mouth.
But there are some instances where I think white people just excited to be able to use a new word or phrase they learned from black culture and like to test it on other black people, just so they can feel like they’re hip. Like in this case: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y_uMTY-Ff8
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 7:57 am
I remember cringing when I saw this report…
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BeautifulProsperity Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 12:16 pm
I still cringe when watching that report…#SMH
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LCD Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 3:20 pm
I can’t watch it all. It’s too painful!
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That picture reminds me of the Crossing the Border party Theta Drug had while I was still on campus. They put up barbed wire and people were encouraged to wear sombreros, mustaches and parkas… smh.
Anyhoo, I can see where the confusion lies: in a double standard, why do we joke that Kool-Aid flavors should be referred to by color, but get offended when a white person asks if we want some Purple Drank? You’re thinking: Hell yeah, I WANT some, but not from YOU!
That’s not fair guys.
I think its up to the individual. When the Black Lady with locks from sales comes over and refers to me as “sista”, I politely ask her to “Just call me Dot.” That way, she knows whats up, and I don’t feel bad telling the 2520s from the mail-room to do the same thing.
At the end of the day, all people want to do is relate. They want to know what its like to be Black. So, my suggestion to white folks… when you put on that makeup, don’t go to a party. Go try and catch a cab…
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, So Not Offended Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:25 am
LOL…or get a loan!
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 1:01 pm
Or try to shop.
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It’s always going to be crazy with things like this. I remember one situation that I can’t ge out my mind.
I eat dinner with “the girls” every so oftenon campus. Yes, we’re all black or of African decent (or in my case, straight from the motherland). So one night, one of the girls invited one of our mutual white “friends” to eat with us. When she gets to the table, she says, “Whats up niggers?!” …..
Hmmm now how do I
break her facereact?? Now, sad to say, we have thrown the n word (sans the-er ending) around but I was shocked that she took it THAT far… I was actually the ONLY one that took it so hard.. I understand that you’re “cool” with us but you’ve got to be kidding…My friend definitely told the caucasian young
bitchlady that “I will beat you like the nigger you THINK I am..” (intense..)That’s all I can say now and it happened freshman year… I’m a junior now. Still shocks me to think about it.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 8:54 am
I woulda beat shorty over the head with a lunch tray then taught everybody around me who witnessed the incident about tolerance and foolishness.
In all seriousness though, I think a big problem is that a lot of Black folk or other folks let people get away with saying things without checking them for it. There’s a reason she walked up to the table and thought that was okay.
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Sue Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 10:51 am
You’re right. The one girl out of the group that she was cool with lets her get away with that kinda shit and then Sue is the angry black girl when I gotta correct someone. Well f–k you. You don’t see me yelling, “Howdy Cracker Barrels!” or some fuckery like that *sigh*
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Berriblk Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 12:29 pm
Most definitely something that needs to be addressed.
For those tokens….I mean people of color that hang out exclusively with white folk (nothing wrong with it, I have many white friends) that feel the need to enhance race relations by showcasing stereotypes, etc believing your friends will see you as the rule and not the exception, JUST STOP.
As I was apart of a professional fraternity made up of predominantly white people. I would see this and then I too would have to become the “angry black woman” who has to rain on the “light-hearted” parade of the 2520′s and their one black friend.
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Wow, it’s very ironic that this is today’s topic. Over the weekend I had the misfortune of being misquoted in an article written in the local paper of my college town. The article discussed the “diversity” on our campus and how students felt that “racism was less blatant but still here.” And so this is something I’ve thought a lot about over the weekend.
What I find so offensive about these types of parties (targeted at any ethnicity) is that they perpetuate stereotypes and the casting of people in roles based on their ethnicity. Personally, I don’t like for people to assume that as a young black woman I like or dislike certain things or have certain attitudes or beliefs. Because a lot of the times they are wrong- I’m just one of those people that don’t fit into any one particular box. So, I find this problematic because it shows that there are still people, many of which will be leaders in the near future, that buy into these stereotypes and use them as a shortcut in judging people they encounter throughout the course of their lives. And I think the ignorance shown by such behavior is when they don’t realize (or know) that it has the ability to hurt or offend. For the people that are the “inspiration” for these themed parties, this isn’t funny. It’s making fun of their culture and/or a part of their identity.
As far as the small off hand comments that are made when people outside of your race try to “relate” I think those are great opportunities for teaching and dialogue. In those cases it’s usually pretty easy to judge to intent of the person. If it doesn’t seem malicious, get over the initial sting of it and offer an explanation as to why it’s not appropriate or necessary, how it may be seen as offensive. In my experience, with white people particularly, there are usually a lot of questions people want to ask about black people and black culture. And when you really get past all the awkwardness and formalities we’re all much more alike than most realize.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 9:30 am
Good comment. I actually had to check someone last week. They saw the name “Taneesha” on a resume and said the person was probably ghetto without ever having spoken to them. It stung for a good 5-10 minutes before I went over and had to layeth the smack down.
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Shandrea Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 3:30 pm
And by smack down I hope you mean the calm explanation as to why all Taneesha’s aren’t ghetto or questioning why they think they are so that they’ll be forced to think about their reasoning. lol
Oh, and how can I get a picture to appear next to my comment? I’m new to the blogging thing… Thx!
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 10:18 am
Getting over the initial sting used to be much harder for me. I have had to learn to take advantage of those “teachable moments” because like you said, people often just want to say somethings and want to learn more about what they think they know.
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It really is up to the individual on whether or not they should be offended. If an incident occurs, you have every right to be offended; however, I do have every right to think that you’re offended over some BS.
I think white privelege prevents many 2520s from realizing that there are things in this world that they cant take part in (i.e. jokes, fraternities, schools). Also, there are many 2520s who dont have a huge tie to their lineage or to the stereotypes of their neighborhoods and cultures so those types of jokes just arent offensive to them.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 10:11 am
White privilege is so real, but doesn’t get discussed enough.
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At my institution of higher learning, I remember my freshman year when a white fraternity threw a “gangsta party”. They threw this party several times, but everyone was instructed to wear tall white t-shirts, chains, bandanas, sneakers, and basically be a “thug” –or let’s be honest, a “black”. A few of my black friends found out about this party and wanted to rebel. They attended, wearing their “whitest” attire –button up shirts, polos with sweaters tied around their necks, and khakis. But here’s the thing..I know black people that wear that daily. And I know whites that wear the tall t-shirts and baggy jeans as well. This “homage” to the hood or to us or whatever it is in their mind is just a rude and offensive way to be down and poke fun at our culture without really just doing so. But this just proves that even today, they just don’t get it. Not all of them are going to get it. This isn’t an excuse for their behavior but honestly, they don’t really care how offensive this is. They are probably more pissed off that the party didn’t happen. Until that mindset is long gone, and it won’t be, we will just have to occasionally see these acts of stupidity as they surface.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 10:55 am
I know you just started following on Twitter and can’t remember if I seen you here before. If not, then welcome. If so, then welcome back!
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, So Not Offended Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:13 am
Well…as a great man once said, “Ain’t nuttin but a Gangsta Party…”
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Hmmm…Good Post Ms. Jenkins! I actually experienced a situation in my work place a few weeks ago. My co-worker was discussing something w/myself and my manager and b’fo I know it, he blurts out “They’re trying to treat us like we’re their Nigg*rs!” As I turned to look at (choke him) he starts throwing out all types of apologies about how he’s never done/said this b’fo, blah, blah, blah, blah. Now if it wasn’t for my homey RCLS calming me down on the spot and bringing some comic relief to the situation, I would’ve been one of three things: 1) Fired 2) In Jail 3)Dead (not to mention I sign my new contract next month) but after speaking to him, I just had to remind myself that most white people can’t process thoughts on the same level we can (i.e. their brains are smaller) and therefore ‘Shoot, Ready, Aim’ as supposed to ‘Ready, Aim, Shoot’. Now does this make it acceptable or right, negative. But at the same time, I recognize where I live (in Amerikkka) and work (Black Engineer, only black guy at job) and understand that if you allow yourself to get caught up in their negative energy and thought process than you’re just at as much fault as they and stress yourself out.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 10:41 am
I think neck-chops were in order.
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OK, so this took me straight back to Fall 2001 when members of Beta Theta Pi dressed in blackface and made Omega Psi Phi t-shirts. You can read the article here: http://www.theeastcarolinian.com/2.5284/ecu-reacts-to-racism-at-auburn-university-1.821521
My good friend was actually the president of the Omega chapter there, so that hit home…
Anyway, of course this is offensive, and due to the history of Black people in this country, this kind of behavior will never be accepted (at least not in my lifetime.) Making fun of any (formerly?) oppressed people, no matter how far we may have come (What’s good Obama? lol) is not the way to go.
So what’s the solution? That’s the $64,000 question of which I do not have an answer…
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 10:12 am
Wow, that link is incredibly OD.
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, So Not Offended Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 10:53 am
I think the bruhz should have showed up and set some hops out…at the risk of having the hops stolen and performed by that fraternity at the next Sprite Step Off. Bring It On meets Stomp the Yard…OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
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nyhoop Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 12:19 pm
Goodnight!
…
LMFAO!
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, So Not Offended Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 12:52 pm
Now think about it Hoop…what would be funnier…the bruhz crashing this party setting owt hops or the look on the bruhz faces next year @ the Sprite Step Off when the white frat sets out the Funky Four corners and wins the competition?
Gotta laugh to keep from cryin’!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Seems like folks are having trouble with the link in this thread. I suggest copying and pasting to your browser. It worked from my comptuer when I clicked it, but others don’t seem to be so lucky.
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Here’s what I think about this situation, as controversial as it sounds.
You may think to be offended, but what really should make you sit back down is that before a picture was put out about this party, you knew exactly what they were talking about and looked like when you heard of the party.
At the end of the day, if there were no Black people perpetuating these images these parties wouldn’t exist. Over it.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 10:48 am
Fair enough. But just because something exists or is rooted in some truth, does it mean that people should mock its existence with no recourse?
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I’m sooooo not offended, if you couldnt guess by now.
Why? Do I think I’m better than this and they couldnt possibly be referring to me? Nope, I’ve been known to wear gaudy jewelry and white T shirts, speak in high octaves, start fights (for entertainment purposes apparently), and drink 22′s (40′s make me pee alot). And ironically enough, I’ve also been known to make a very potent “purple drank” that could knock 95% of people that consume it on their ass (best in the 2nd D…yea I said it.) I even have a SUV with tinted windows and 12″ subwoofers (before they were stolen that is).
I’m not saying this to excuse their behavior, nor is that an intro to me preaching to our people to do better like Cecile Tyson in a Tyler Perry movie. (I was actually offended by that scene because I rather enjoy a friendly game of cee-lo amongst friends.) These are just facts. If you read thru some of the comments, this sh*t happens all the time. I remember when I was on my respective yard back in the day, and some kid wore black face @ the end of year for a costume party claiming to be Tiger Woods and further stated that his black frat brother said it would rock. So, me, BBW and few other heads put on our “NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE” hats and went to the admin building the following week for a “silent protest”. The result: the kid got a slap on the wrist. And I sat in a damn admin building for 2 hours of my life that I can’t get back.
After dealing with incidents like these and others over the years, I’m convinced white folks either get it or they don’t. I respect the folks that feel the need to check white people everytime the cross the line, but I’m pretty sure in their heads, it’s like being a kid getting scolded by an adult for something they think isn’t that serious. Had they gotten the hint, this would have been a non issue shortly after the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation. I’m not here to teach civil rights lessons. Just cut my check and don’t say anything egregious that will get you choked up.
Had I been in the area, I would have showed up w/ 5 no neck bruhz all wearing gold boots. I woulda brought a garbage can full of our own purple drank and encourage to the bruhz to hop recklessly all thru their sh*t and set owt the whyched women for themselves while I spoke to the party’s organizer about the finer arts of grilling w/ charcoal. See….problem solved. How uncomfortable would that have been?
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 10:57 am
there are no words…
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Peyso Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:03 am
Should I take offense to you thinking that your Oil is better than mine? I surely do. I’ve only tasted1 chapter w/ better oil than my chapter and yes they are from upstate. So unless you’re from Theta O, I’m gonna need you to rescind your comment. Thanks! Roo too
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:07 am
Never had Theta O’s, but RCLS does make some good oil…
Don’t get gassed though RCLS. I’ll still kick you in the shins.
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, So Not Offended Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:11 am
LMAO! Be offended. Be very offended. I am biased to my oil of course, but have been called out by Theta O AND one of my chapter bruhz that insist Theta O oil is better. But he’s old, what does he know? I encourage you to come to the K.
I think the bruhz should copy that show where the guy goes to different towns challenging people to cookouts and what not, but instead make it a oil challenge.
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Sue Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:19 am
“..I want that purple stuff..”? #NoChappelle
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Peyso Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:35 am
Miss Jenkins can testify to the goodness of the M oil that comes in 2 flavors/colors. You should come to the M. However, that’s neither here or there or near or anywhere. I went to a golf pros and tennis ho3s party while in school (white ppl love themed parties!). They had a concoction that they called skippy. Damn, if it didnt taste eerily similar to oil smh
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, So Not Offended Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:39 am
Skippy:
1 handle of Vodka
a 30 pack of brew (usually Natty Light)
a big container of Country Time Lemonade
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Peyso Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 12:21 pm
There’s was purple though, so I guess they subsituted the lemonade for kool aid
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, So Not Offended Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 12:47 pm
Yea…I made some skippy one weekend and served it along side oil…very bad idea for livers.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:55 am
Miss Jenkins can do no such thing.
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Peyso Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 12:21 pm
lies and deceit
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Berriblk Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 12:44 pm
OMG “The Chicken!” I must ask…is it like a requirement to learn how to grill the chicken or something for the bruhz??
It’s soooooo good. My freshman year you would go to a Que party and the chicken and oil would be free flowing. By the time I graduated, they started selling “The Chicken!” I couldn’t even be mad at that! That chicken was worth it. lmao
*swears she saw leaves in the bottom of her cup of oil* o_0
*sigh* Good times. I love college. #noasherroth
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 12:50 pm
*swears she saw leaves in the bottom of her cup of oil* o_0
I, a 6’1 220 pound clean cut black man, just cackled at this. Don’t worry, that was just extra flavor.
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Berriblk Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 1:06 pm
lol I did! I knew I wasn’t crazy.
Your not the first big black man to laugh at the statement.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 1:06 pm
My favorite part of oil is the blackened fruit that tastes like a shot of something.
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Lionheart Streetz Jericho Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 1:13 pm
The Brothers of Omega have the best sense for good chicken in the Divine 9. There is none higher!
I still havent had “The good oil”. Last oil I had tasted like Catholic communion wine. #NOSHOTS
and RCLS,
if I see TKE do “WHOS THAT KNOCKIN?! aKNOCK KNOCK KNOCKIN?!” at Sprite Step off, I quit the Bruhz and the Bros!
I’m an Alpha, and I approve this message
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nyhoop Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 1:26 pm
resurrected…died again…
Streetz, when’s the step off blog post coming?
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Lionheart Streetz Jericho Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Neverary 32nd 1999.
Im not hyped no more but I got something bigger in the works.
no paws
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The Honorable Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, So Not Offended Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 2:50 pm
LMAO! Who’s that knockin @ their T-K-E! I’m telling you, next yr there’s gonna be a group that comes out doing the Alpha Train, swingin’ canes, wearing fatigues and gold boots. How the eff hilarious would that be? (Initially.)
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 5:29 pm
Its all fun and games until the bodies start flying…
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BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 6:25 pm
RCLS……….I totally remember that silent protest….Complete waste! I learned in this world both colleigate & corporate, that this ia an area no university or company wants to deal with! They’d rather move past it as sooooon asssss posssssible! No matter what the resolution…
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Ms. Cherry Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 1:04 am
The only effective protest we ever had was at the Chancellor’s reception after the second blackface ridiculousness. Would have been more successful if more people showed but yeah, 2520s running for their lives at the sound of drums… funniest ish I’ve ever seen.
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Nik Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 3:49 am
You know RCLS I wasn’t so offended by the party moreso irritated, but for me it was hearing about the events that unfolded after. There was a group that referred to the protesting black students as “ungrateful niggers” on UCSD’s LIVE student run tv network and another individual who decided to throw up a noose in the school library. THAT’S when my inner black panther came out. Most people started by saying the party “wasn’t a big deal” and that the BSU students had “overreacted” and then more bull evolved. So my question is where do we draw the line?
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I can’t speak for the this particular fraternity but I had an a very similar incident occur at my undergrad a few years ago. They decided they to dress up like KKK members and called it the Coons, Rednecks and Wetbacks Party during Black History Month.
When they were called to the carpet, they said it was an attempt to be satirical and they had plenty of “African or Afro-American” friends so they couldn’t be racist. Plus they voted for Barack Obama so they didn’t see what the big deal is.
I don’t know if these guys were attempting to be satirical but I do get this sense of reckless behavior in regards to race because they think we live in a post-racial America.
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It’s amazing to me that these parties continue to occur on college campuses.
By “It’s amazing to me” I clearly mean “It doesn’t surprise me at all”
Seriously, it’s as if they don’t get it. How many of these “dress up like the n*ggers” parties do they have to have, get berated for in newspapers and online and apologize for before someone gets the memo to cut it out?
Pick any random black person who attended a PWI and they have this SAME story. Doesn’t matter when they were there — they have a story, probably one for every year of their attendance.
What’s also disturbing is how much the 2520s enjoy this. Like this is some escape from real life or something. “Dress up like a stereotype and forget all your problems!” (someone put that on a t-shirt).
I don’t know if I’m offended or if I’m annoyed. Probably more annoyed because aside from the potential offensive nature, this mess is just OLD and the white folks need to stop it.
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Sadly these type of things still go on in 2010. In college I took a class called laws in American history and when we reached brown v bd of Ed the professor said to me (the only black person in The class) surely your family was thrilled when the decision was rendered. A student of Armenian descent chimed in as well. I responded they sure were. The next day we discussed WW II in class and I said to the professor surely you were happy when Israel came into being so all the persecuted Jews would have a home state. Oh the look on his face. I guess he assumed like most people you can’t say anything about His chosen ppl… wrong. And the Armenian kid mentioned the anniversary of the genocide comitted against them by Turkey and I said mentioned Turkey doesn’t acknowledge a genocide against them but I’m certain his family is working with he UN to make sure justice prevails for those who died. He was livid and even reported me to the chair of the dept.
My point being you can’t blow And snuff everyone that says some bs to you. Everyone who makes statements like this doesn’t mean to be a jerk. Some genuinely don’t know better. but if I feel like you’re being maliciousBlike the professor and the a- hole kid in my class I most certainly will take a cultural stab at you.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:39 am
That’s the part that always gets me. When you hit someone with the counter to what they did you, then they look all shocked and confused. I think part of it is because (someone mentioned this earlier) Black people let so much stuff slide, rightly or wrongly so. True we can’t react all the time, but I think what let’s people think people can say (or do) what they want is because we have to spend so much time worrying about whether we should react so we don’t look “angry” (God forbid) or we just don’t know how we should really feel because we are trying to consider the person’s intent and all that.
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Good blog post, Miss Jenkins! It perfectly encapsulated the inner battles we fight when it comes to this issue.
“So when should you be offended?”
I think we can be offended whenever we truly feel it. Will others feel it might not be justified? Maybe so. That’s their right. But it doesn’t invalidate your feeling because it is your feeling and yours alone. That’s what I believe. When folks feel offended, it is usually a gut feeling. And we always question our gut feeling as humans. And frankly, we shouldn’t. When someone offends us, we feel that sting for a reason and we shouldn’t have to apologize for it.
“Is there a threshold number of times someone has to say something kinda crazy to you before you address the issue? Or do some situations warrant no attention at all?”
Again, I say go with your gut. When it comes to ethical and legal issues, there is definitely a fine line. You can either brush it off (depending on whether you can live with yourself after having done so), confront them about it, or the highest level, confront their superior (if it gets to the level of harrassment or “hate crimes”). There are so many levels to racism and discrimination and it’s why I strongly support my people knowing our rights.
“Should we care that White people have “ghetto” themed parties? Why or why not?”
This is sort of a complex issue for me. I “care” in the sense that it makes me SMH or discuss it, but ultimately, it doesn’t affect my life personally and I know better. What makes me care even a little is that not everyone knows better.
“Have you had some uncomfortable experiences, but couldn’t tell if you should be offended or not? What did you do?”
I have, but not at the level that I’ve had to go to any authorities, thankfully (*knockonwood*). I remember one particular instance when I was working on a film with two guys (one Japanese, one white) and we were editing our footage when the Japanese guy said, “Um, no offense, [Cheekie], but Black people are hard as f*ck to light” (referencing how darker people are harder to capture with lighting in film). I hesitantly laughed it off and was way too shocked to respond, really. I wasn’t offended because it was true, and the only thing that really bothered me was the “no offense” disclaimer. Like, the mofo thought it was an insult or something. I mean, sure I coulda stooped to his level and said something like, “Yeah, I guess it’s because my skin ain’t the same color as the light” but I didn’t (and shouldn’t) go there. I was a bit miffed and thought about it, but thought better of it thankfully. Honestly, I don’t regret my decision not to make a bit deal about it. I do wish I said something witty (without the insult and more of a statement of my lovely melanin), but like I said, I was in shock. lol
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Sorry about the typos. I’m typing on my phone
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:40 am
Don’t you know you can’t be coming up on here with no typos!!
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Satya Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 7:39 pm
lol. I learned my lessom
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Its more ignorance than anything. I think as far as what other commentors said about us letting them get comfy, I totally agree. This type of ish doesnt happen to the Jews, and that’s because they MOBILIZE on anyone as one unit if they feel disrespected. Black people haven’t had power in numbers since Martin wrote the Birmingham Jail letter
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Some links to you UConn party I mentioned:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0125072uconn1.html
And the comments here are interesting…
http://www.amptoons.com/blog/archives/2007/01/27/uconn-law-students-hold-racially-offensive-party/
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Maybe I am one of the black people who help perpetuate this because I am rarely offended by anything that ignorant white people do. When I see something like this I kinda even laugh. I think ignorant people just don’t understand and/or care that what they do is offensive. And for me to get all angry or hurt just adds fuel to their fire. People who are truly racist or hateful are not going to change their views and opinions because a person (myself) who’s opinion doesn’t even matter to them got angry.
I have encountered racism on so many levels and occasions that I have stopped counting. Sometimes it was so subtle I didn’t even realize it was racist until AFTER the fact. Other times it was blatant, like when a white friend asked me to be in her wedding and then had to ask me to not be in the wedding because her father refused to pay for it if I was in it. The only time I feel the need to check non-black people is when it comes to the use of the “n” word. I have told many people don’t use that word in my presence or else. And now that I think about it that probably makes them stereotype me as the sensitive black person who will bust they head open over a word…
I don’t know I truly feel at the end of the day the biggest problem black people have is allowing other people (who could care less about them) dictate and affect their lives. These students are not losing any sleep over what they did so why should I? We all know for a person of color racism is a way of life so why give it any more attention than it deserves?
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I know personally there isn’t much you can do truly ingrain enlightenment short of person to person interaction. I’ll use a situation I had a few years ago. I was a counselor for a summer camp and we were organizing to do a party for the kids. Everyone was being delegated tasks and the head counselor turned to be and said, “And of course you will be the DJ.”
I asked her why was that and she, kinda embarrassedly, said because I was Black so I know how to do that. I was taken aback for two reasons: that she assumed just due to my race and because my other Caucasian co-workers only nodded in agreement with her statement.
I spent the next 5 minutes explain why they shouldn’t make such assumptions about me smh. Yet, if this hadn’t happened, they would still assume all Black men can DJ.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Wait a minute…
All Black men can’t DJ??!!? Does this mean yall all can’t break dance too? #damnson
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I used to get all offended by these stories of white people doing what white people do. But now, I think I’ve become numb to it. It’s not that i expect all 2520s to do this kind of thing. I’m just not surprised when they do it. idiots have been doing things like this for years. Every year, some group of ignorami (ignoramuses?) host a culturally insensitive party, or hang a noose on campus. The university feigns mock outrage, a few black people get offended while other black folk and white people tell us we shouldn’t be offended, or that you’re being “sensitive”. You do not have the right to tell anyone what should offend them and what shouldn’t. I would suggest to my black brethren to be careful in this regard
and don’t get caught up in monkey see, monkey do.Reply
They aren’t ignorant because they know exactly what they’re doing. We still practice many things that were passed down from our ancestors and we pass them onto our children…the good and the bad. Why would you believe that they don’t? They have been doing these things and worse since they brought us here. I’m not offended because I don’t expect anything else from them, but I like this type because I know exactly where I stand with them. I’m more offended by Black people that proudly and willingly embrace the stereotypes and make an effort to live up to them. I’m more offended by Blacks that sellout their own people to be “accepted” by whites. As for the new millennium black faces, they just better keep it away from me, my family, & my friends.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 5:21 pm
“I’m more offended by Black people that proudly and willingly embrace the stereotypes and make an effort to live up to them. I’m more offended by Blacks that sellout their own people to be “accepted” by whites.”
This is interesting. Being a “sellout” is relative. When I was younger I got that label because I was articulate and knew how to get along with those that didn’t look like me. I also know black people who joined white frats and sororities and got the same label. At what point is someone a sellout?
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I’m articulate as well and my interests include many things that might make me seem like an “Oreo”. Fortunately, I’m able to maneuver on both sides of the fence well. This has nothing to do with selling out. An example of a sellout would be the Black person that worked for the FBI under COINTELPRO to infiltrate the Black Panthers and help bring them down. Have you heard Paul Mooney call Oprah “a double agent”? Sellouts = double agents. (And no, I’m not calling Oprah a double agent, at least not in this post.)
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