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Isn’t That What You Asked Me to Do?
This pic will make sense later in the post...
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Girls have a vajayjay and guys have a…
I was chatting with a few of my peoples recently about relationship dynamics and the importance of communication. A lot of folks out there would say that communication is one of the top three most important aspects of a relationship, if not the most important of all. I place communication right behind sex as most important…just kidding. Seriously, I’m not that much of D-Head. Unless your name is…
So today, we’re going to talk about communication. This stuff applies whether you or one of your friends was in a relationship. If you haven’t had the problem, you’ve heard about somebody else’s. More than likely, you did a whole lot of nodding and mm hmming and this will sound familiar. Men constantly complain about it, and some women are aware of it…
What is the deal with speaking in opposites?
Men are simple creatures. Women are simple creatures as well. Right. But let’s be real, there’s a whole different level of complexities with the woman thought process that conflicts the male simplicity which often comes across as being nonchalant, unconcerned, or uncaring. Now I’m not saying that there aren’t complex dudes out there that require being able to solve a rubik’s cube in order to understand them. I’ve been described as complex before, though I usually disagree and say “I’m really not that difficult to understand. Just don’t do things to piss me off.” I guess we all say that at some point. But as a man, I really need to pose this question to the readers:
What is the deal with women saying the exact opposite of what they mean and then getting mad at dude for doing as they said?
I don’t know how many times a woman has said to do something or say something, and then I’ve done it only to be met with a batch of unpleasantnesses. I’d get yelled at. I’d get ignored. I’d get blocked on AIM for a little while. Or, I’d see a Facebook status or away message about me. That’s neither here nor there though. Why can’t people just say exactly what it is that they mean? We here at Three Ways like to use scenarios. So, here’s a scenario:
Slim: Hey, my homegirl Michelle with the track body is in town this weekend. I wanna grab lunch with her while she’s here. You wanna come (along)?
Boo: Who is this?
Slim: Michelle. Ran track with her. I’ve mentioned her before.
Boo: I thought we were going to the movies?
Slim: We are. Can we just go to the 330 showing? She’s only in town for a day then headin’ back to the West Coast.
Boo: Well, I guess that’s fine. Go grab lunch with her and then just come back and pick me up. I gotta do some laundry anyway.
Slim: Cool. *Smooches his boo and leaves thinking everything is okay.*
**Slim returns from lunch to pick up his Boo a little bit over an hour later and is met with an unpleasant surprise.**
Boo: Yeah. I don’t feel like going to a movie now.
Slim: Why? What happened?
Boo: Well since you had time to go grab lunch with your “friend” and didn’t really wanna bring me a long and go to the movie we planned, I wouldn’t wanna burden you with going to see a movie now. I’ll see what my “friends” are up to…
Slim: But I asked you if you wanted to go and you told me to go grab lunch and that you wanted to do laundry? This is ridiculous.
Boo: You didn’t sound like you really wanted me there. You should have asked me again. You know that I wanna meet your friends.
Slim: Can’t you just say what the f*ck you mean the first time?!?!?
Boo: Why are you swearing?
Slim: Cuz I take steroids you’re pissin’ me off!
This type of ish drives me nuts. And yeah, folks can say “you should know her better than that and be able to read through the BS”. My response to that is simple and redundant…
Why won’t you just say what you mean!?
So to those who make this blog what it is, what is good with folks (pronounced women) sayin the opposite of what they mean? Anybody have any scenarios to share? Agree? Disagree? Comment? Please do. Us men folk need the clarification.
Literally,
64 Responses to “Isn’t That What You Asked Me to Do?”
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I am dying at the truth of this. I just have to say women are very damned likely to say up and mean down.
The above scenario is also very likely to come true BUT sometimes I do feel a man should just damned no better.
ASK the dude I’m talking to.
Sometimes you take it to the extreme and you really do say sh!t in a way that can make us feel unwanted…wtf? I dunno it’s women and the whole thirdeye phenomena–and I admit we’re probably wrong
Good day
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ladebelle Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 10:37 am
i dunno jac… i subscribe to the belief of saying what you mean…
we all know that men are *special*… they barely listen to what we do say so how are we expecting them to listen to what we aren’t saying?
too much work for either of the sexes…
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reign Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 11:21 am
*special* is an understatement
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Seattle Washington Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 11:39 am
If we’re so “special”, then stop giving us Advanced Calculus and expecting us to solve for X.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 11:51 am
If we’re so “special”, then stop giving us Advanced Calculus and expecting us to solve for X.
LMFAO
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Jac Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
I am going with Seattle and Slim. I don’t think women realize when they are speaking in code and that’s why women keep denying it.
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reign Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
“If we’re so “special”, then stop giving us Advanced Calculus and expecting us to solve for X.”
I have to admit that’s cute. Even if a women is saying one thing and meaning another, as a person in a relationship (if that’s even the situation), you have to know that some anxiety exists. I know in the past if I even mention going to kick it with a guy friend, my man is like why and what for? I’ve asked the same. You can’t tell me that something inside wasn’t telling you that your girl is having an issue with this? Of course it crossed your mind; you asked her if it’s okay! And you still went.
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Vanessa aka Miss V Reply:
December 12th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
i’m def guilty of not saying what i mean, but not necessarily in the same way that slim’s girl did in his example. for me, i just hate putting myself (aka my feelings) out there, so i speak in “code” to try to gauge where his head (heart) is at…. and i’m usually unsuccessful. but yeah, i know it’s something that i have to work on.
so i have a question… you say that women don’t say what we mean, so why can’t dudes be more forthcoming without being prompted?? i think that sometimes women beat around the bush because we are unaware of the full situation (including the dude’s perspective). so using slim’s example: why didn’t u tell ur girl that you really wanted her to come so she could meet your friends? had you said that straight out the gate, she prob wouldn’t have assumed that you didn’t want her around…
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In your scenario, she said opposite of what she meant bc she didn’t want to come off as crazy and possessive (because we know you guys hate that) BUT she was denying her own feelings… It bothered her to think of you out with another chick. So when she saw you, it rose to the surface, her feelings betrayed her.
I’ve been there. Most certainly. LOL.
I know it’s retarded and confusing, which is why I’ve made the conscious effort to refrain from doing it. We’ve got to stop lying to ourselves.. if it hurts, let that shat out!!!!!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 9:41 am
I may need to add you to my list of female friends to seek advice from in times of distress! But what about in all those other situations where it happens?
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Honey chile. I got your back.
I really don’t know… like when girls get mad if they ask if something makes them look fat and you tell them??? I don’t know man.. I appreciate you telling me. Since I try to look fly er’time I step out, I need you to let me know when I’m not doing it! LOL. Or what else you mean? Help a sista out.
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ladebelle Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 10:38 am
yeah… it does have to do with “us”… i think “we” should take responsibility for your own baggage/immaturity/craziness and not make others pay for it…
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RightCoastLex Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Welcome to RightCoastLexSteele’s generalization hour, with your host, Lex Steele from the Right Coast!
**crickets**
Uh…well…most women are crazy and possessive. The end.
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jolie fatale Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
I cosign here nicki.. i’ve actually done what “boo” did to slim in this scenario.. but now I’m more mature.. older and dont give a shat if you dont like what i have to say if it is truly how i feel..
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Thanks girl.. with the next man, I will be practicing the say-what-you-feel methods.
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Ok, y’know you’re hooked on 3Ways when you check the blog b4 work LOL!!
I’m guilty of the above (saying one thing meaning the opposite).
Nicki S pretty much said it- “she didn’t want to come off as crazy and possessive (because we know you guys hate that) BUT she was denying her own feelings”
I think we all are guilty of doing this (MEN included).
E.g Like my bf saw a pic of me with a male co-worker at the company x-mas party on FB (fb=relationship drama sometimes). This co-worker tagged me in the photo (he took it with his camera).
Keep in mind my bf was unable to attend this party. So he was relying on the pics for the insde scoop lol.
He msg’d me in the morning asking “who were you hugging up on?”
I explained who it was, but sill got the cold shoulder and this response ” I’m not mad”….” I said I’m not mad” (SURE).
If he truly wasn’t mad, I’d b worried…like Slim as frustrating as that senario may have been…Looking back it must be kinda nice to know that someone would fuss over you like that …Am I right? Wrong?
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 9:40 am
If you subscribe via the email drop form on the right of the page, you’ll have the goodness delivered to your inbox every morning at around 730am EST. Just a shameless attempt at getting folks to subscribe.lol. I appreciate your love though.
As far as being fussed about, yeah it is nice to have a person care…within reason. Insecurity can be a beast when it comes to stuff like this.
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Let me first say that women do NOT have the monopoly on this type of behavior. I have been on the receiving end of this and it drives me INSANE!! So I definitely feel your pain.
To me, it’s a form of testing a person to see if they are going to make the “correct” decision. Sure there are some things that you ought to know will piss the other person off. But everyone has a different threshold of pissed offedness, and what’s harmless to one person may not be to the other. I don’t like being tested or set up…. just tell me instead of saying “I don’t care what you do” and then I get the stank attitude later. The whole dance is very tiring and makes you distrustful of a person’s words.
I say if you KNOW right then and there that choice B is going to piss you off if your mate chooses it, DON’T SET HIM/HER UP! This is something I am consciously trying to correct with myself. Example: my guy was invited to a company holiday dinner by “just a friend” (which he declined, but still told me about). At first I responded with a slightly different approach and told him “Do what you think is best, but just know that there are certain things that lie behind door #1, and certain things that lie behind door #2.” The next morning I recanted and came back and told him point blank “Yes, I would have been really pissed if you’d said yes.” I really have to be conscious of this because I AM a person who doesn’t trip on the things most women trip on, so I know I can be a bit hard to predict sometimes.
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ladebelle Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 10:39 am
yeah… i agree that it’s not only women…
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temps Reply:
December 13th, 2008 at 12:01 am
True as parents you’ll do this (to those with kids). You know your child knows better but THEY have to prove it. Curfew is at 11 his ass best be in here no later than 1115, so forth an so on. As for couples yea we are all gonna be there-if not already…thing is a dude ought to no that anytime you bring up your girl and any other chick thats not fam…expect tension. Espcially if you dont come forthwith…meaning invite her too if she dont wanna go you aint goin…now if its that thing with your boys you told her about 6 months ago thats different.
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OMG!!! this is the truth…
you would think that as a woman that i would understand but i don’t… i’m a direct communicator and i say what i mean and i mean what i say. f- the bullsh-t… i don’t have time to put what i mean into a coder so that it comes out in some distorted way nor do i have time to put someone else’s sh- into a decoder to try and figure out what they mean… i’m not a damn mind reader, don’t wanna be, and never will be and even if i am, JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN!!!
sorry… i clearly have some built up frustration surrounding that as well…
***woooooooooosaaaaaaaaah***
i’m back… awesome post slim… i obviously agree with you… my advice? don’t put up with that bull… just walk away but before u do, tell them to call you after they’ve gotten over themselves and are ready to act like an adult by saying what they mean…
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Zinggggggggg.
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Peyso who likes his burritos con queso Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 11:34 am
So when I try this and it doesnt work can I blame you?
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ladebelle Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
nah… blame the dumb (to be read as nice lady) chic ur dealing with… lol…jk
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I’ve definitely gotta comment on this one, and yeah, that pic makes complete sense. I’ve been to that shirt ripping (pause) green turning point because ole’ girl gives me the “you should’ve known what I really meant was…” line many a time. What I’ve finally decided is to not take her seriously. In my mind, you can’t have it both ways. If you want to be taken seriously, then say what you mean. If you can’t say what you mean, then I’m not going to take anything you say as relevant. I’m going to do what I think will work out the best for both of us, and if you get mad, oh well…I tried. And if I get the “you never listen to me” line, well it is what it is.
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“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Girls have a vajayjay and guys have a…”
…a penaynay?
“What is the deal with women saying the exact opposite of what they mean and then getting mad at dude for doing as they said?”
Because emotion trumps logic. When people (not just women as have been noted) get emotional (Carl Thomas, holla!), all reason goes out the window.
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RightCoastLex Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
SUMMMER RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIINNNN/Whispers me to sleep and wakes me up AGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!
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Cheekie Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
*cracking up*
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Great post Slim, because something like that happened to me ummm like last night lol. Like women really need to make up their mind on what they really want. Cause honestly im going to tell you whats on my mind even if you like it or not. Why make things more complex than it has to be sometimes???
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 11:50 am
“Cause honestly im going to tell you whats on my mind even if you like it or not.”
As helpful as constructive criticism may be, some people really can’t handle it. Some people just want a “yes man/woman” to agree with them all the time. And I’m talkin about stuff that matters, not criticism like “You look weird in your Facebook picture. I don’t like that one. Can you change it hun?”
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Ainz Neal Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
“You look weird in your Facebook picture. I don’t like that one. Can you change it hun?”
lol..so true.
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I talked about Crazy girls on my blog, and I admitted to being one. However, I was exaggerating. I believe a commenter above hit the nail right on the head. We have feelings but we don’t say anything, but then it will pop up later and all hell breaks lose. It’s hard, but I’ve gotten better at saying what I mean, yet also saying shit that makes sense. I’ve been on enough rollercoasters.
Great posts today! You’re on fiyah!
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Normally if my dude wants to hang out with his female friends, I basically say what I feel. I trust him so I say something like yea just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. He usually has stories to tell afterward that are hilarious.
Or he’ll tell me his Godson’s mom wants him to stay at her place while he’s in town, but he doesn’t feel comfortable about it. My response was that he shouldn’t and if he does I’m chunking him the duece. Plain and simple.
Communication is the most important aspect of a relationship. It’s how you learn about the person and they learn about you. Staying mute, guarded, speaking in opposites can say alot on its own. How do you expect someone to grow to care about you and develop the relationship if you can’t communicate and express yourself.
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Killah Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
I agree, I usually come off with the threats when I feel insecure about something he is about to do, with a female “friend”, he already knows I can get crazy so he appreciates my honesty. However there are times when I tell him, I am not mad…meanwhile I am 2 seconds from crying or yelling at the top of my lungs. But he has also uses the “I am not mad” or “I don’t get jealous” when I clearly the veins popping. Sometimes we have to lie about how we feel, maybe because we are not sure that how we are feeling makes sense to anyone else but us.
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My Jesus,
SLim…Speak on it!
I honestly felt this most be some game all women play because it was like the twilight zone. I think I might still be in it!!! My only hypothesis is this, women are extremely complex beings and they know this already.
No man is an expert on women but we as guys can all agree, women sometimes say what they want but dont really know what they want. I’m just happy I was born a male and my thinking is based on straight logic.
1+1=2….
not
1+1= maybe…or ….possibly it coul…or how about…or I think it’s better…….BLAH BLAH BLAH
In addition, I don’t think we will ever have a resolution to a matter of this magnitude. I think we might be asking the same questions our fathers asked each other, grandfathers and great grandfathers…
So if worse comes to worse take it back to the grade school days. If your woman explains in detail what she wants …put it in a check box next to it. Under that, put the opposite explanation along with a check box too. Have her check one of the two areas for what she wants and save it. By saving this document, you can save yourself and hopefully make someone look stupid in the mouth at the same time…
————–
Example:
Communication (check one please)
__I think we should talk more.
__I think we should talk more. So I mean, after sex we should talk, during breakfast, when you’re on the toliet etc. etc.
————————
This has worked for me sometimes on some occasions…But again they can be a confusing breed…
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ok I didnt read all the responses but I have to say this, when I was younger (read mid 20′s) I was spoke in opposites. However as I have gotten older I speak what is on my mind and what I feel. I’m at the point where I don’t care if you think I am being possessive and don’t want you to go out with your friend who I may be insecure about. I am going to tell you just that. I am also going to tell you how that ish makes me feel. If you choose not to hear it, Oh well, but I’m not the politician anymore, telling you one thing and meaning another. It doesn’t work, cause in the end my feelings still get hurt. After all I am a girl, and girls have feelings and soft spots that is why you like me.
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One of the reasons I “speak in opposites” at times..is because when I lay it on and express my true feelings they are met with “don’t start”…”you got problems” (so mean!!)….
and yes sometimes (1% of the time) I deserve a response like that-I’m a water sign I get emotional lol. But outside of work..i find it difficult to always use logic, especially when my heart is involved.
A majority of communication is non-verbal…so I really don’t believe that saying what you feel 100% necessarily will do it…..
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
I’m a water sign as well. That’s why I can turn into the Black version of the Incredible Hulk with situations like this.
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Have you ever seen “The Break Up”? There’s a line in that movie that I think pretty much sums up this debacle. “I don’t want you to do the dishes. I want you to want to do the dishes.” Women don’t want to tell you exactly what they want because they don’t want to seem like some possessive and controlling killjoy type. They want you to make the right decision on your own.
Think about that scenario for a second. If your girl came up to you and said, “Gee Slim, gosh darn wouldn’t ya know my “(hot track bodied) friend” from college, you know, the friend, the guy friend that I just now mentioned for the first time in our 2 year relationship, yeah him… Well he’s in town and since he saw that I live in town (on facebook) he hit me up (on myspace) and asked me to meet up for lunch. Do you wanna go with me? I know we had plans and moving them back will make you miss the football game, but gee golly gosh Slim, he’s only in town this one day. Don’t you wanna join us (and seem like a total prick boyfriend)?”
I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t jump at that offer. Furthermore, you would probably be pissed that she actually had to nerve to ask you that in the first place. Really? Lunch with some guy she’s never even mentioned when you had plans? You’d be pissed. And maybe YOU would come out and say it, but let’s face it, men have an advantage in this. If a man says he’s jealous or annoyed that his girlfriend is going out with another guy, it’s cute. It’s like “Awww he really cares about me. Screw that friend and his hot track body. I’m gonna go down on Slim in the movie theatre to show him how much I appreciate his honesty.”
Okay maybe that’s a stretch but seriously. If a woman is jealous and a bit possessive, she’s crazy and controlling. So she lies and pretends like she doesn’t care. When actually she does, and MEN are just waiting for the loophole so they can get away with doing something they know it unacceptable. So they can be like “What? But you said you didn’t want to go, and for me to just go. I don’t understand you women! I’m just gonna get pissed off and flip this whole shit on you and make you feel bad for caring about me. AAAHH!!!”
At the end of the day, just do the right thing. Do what you would want HER to do. Otherwise, be with someone who doesn’t give a shit… (pronounced Yourself).
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
“If a man says he’s jealous or annoyed that his girlfriend is going out with another guy, it’s cute. It’s like “Awww he really cares about me. Screw that friend and his hot track body. I’m gonna go down on Slim in the movie theatre to show him how much I appreciate his honesty.”
Okay maybe that’s a stretch but seriously.”
No. That thought process is not a stretch. It sounds wonderful if you ask me.lol. Unfortunately, life usually isn’t that simple. I’ma keep hope alive though.
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Kill him with kindness!!! lol
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RightCoastLex Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
And that’s the problem. %*(#^$ the dishes. That’s what dishwashers are for. I want the dishes to be clean, I dont want to do them. As a matter of fact, I’d rather eat on paper plates so we dont have to do dishes. How bout that.
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Joey Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
then WANT to take out the trash son. lol.
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RightCoastLex Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
How bout this…when she WANTS to start giving me random mouth hugs, I’ll WANT to do something she wants me to WANT to do. Crass…I know.
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Joey Reply:
December 11th, 2008 at 1:46 am
No, not at all. It’s just not true is all. Trust me, I’ve tried it. All it means is just another thing I’m giving and not getting in return. You should try doing it first and THEN you might get the special hug in the back of the theatre… If not, she ain’t actin right and you gotta let her go. lol.
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Ainz Neal Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
“As a matter of fact, I’d rather eat on paper plates so we dont have to do dishes. How bout that.”
LMAO…funniest thing i’ve heard all day..
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Cheekie Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
“As a matter of fact, I’d rather eat on paper plates so we dont have to do dishes. How bout that.”
My kinda guy…
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ChokLitFacory Reply:
December 11th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
This comment hit the nail on the head, Joey!
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It’s not a stretch. I speak from real life experience! lol. You just haven’t met the right woman. haha.
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If I get upset with you because I call you to make plans all super excited and you say oh I wanted to go play basketball with the fellas (which you can do anytime and all the time) So I eventually say go ahead (obviously dejected from how I sounded initially) And you choose to go, and proceed to take 5 hours (when you usually take 3 tops) and call me 7 hours later like wanna grab a movie tonight? And I responded not really hanging out with the girls tonight (obviously pissed). Than yes, I am guilty of this because the next day when we “communicate” about the day before, I am going to say “You should have known I wanted you to come with me instead of going to play basketball.” Because it is clear and you did know but chose to ignore it.
It is not crazy because there are times when a woman expects “her man” to know her well enough (and care to know her well enough) to figure some things out without a checklist or playbook. If I can take the time to remember how you like your sandwich, or what time your team plays so I don’t call and bug you during the game, or know from your behavior that you are in one of your moods and just wanna play Madden, then the least you can do is make an attempt to stop and think of my feelings from time to time.
No one expects someone to read their mind, but it’s hard to feel sorry for men on this when I can go to someone else in my life (friend, sibling, parent, hell even co-worker!) and they will know, without me telling them in dick met jane format, that something is wrong with me. I have never done this with the intent to turn a man into the Hulk. I have done this because at the time… I honestly believe my feelings are obvious and you are only asking me how I feel because you want me to feel the opposite because that is how you feel.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 10th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
“If I can take the time to remember how you like your sandwich, or what time your team plays so I don’t call and bug you during the game, or know from your behavior that you are in one of your moods and just wanna play Madden, then the least you can do is make an attempt to stop and think of my feelings from time to time.”
You really cannot compare sandwich meat,
condomscondiments, the timing of athletic events, or a videogame to emotions and feelings of that which is a woman. You’re talking about tangibles vs. intangibles. Those, to me, are easy things. Expecting a dude to read into your thoughts and emotions is a lot more complex, especially if he misinterprets your physical demeanor about what’s going on in your head. An expectation that your boo understands you is cool, but as Anesidora said, “DON’T SET HIM/HER UP!” for failure and then be mad about it.Reply
InsomniaPoet Reply:
December 11th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Slim, I agree no one should set anyone up. But as E noted in his very funny post below, you men set yourselves up in these situations. YOU KNEW when track body Michelle called what the heck you were about to get into w/ the Boo. So boo didn’t set you up, you set yourself up by even asking Boo some ish you already knew wasn’t cool.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
December 11th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Co-sign. Yehess! You knew!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 11th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Insomnia,
I’m likin your zest. Why should I not be able to ask my boo about goin to hang out with a friend I haven’t seen in a while? If I just said, I wanna go catch lunch with a “friend” and didn’t name a name, I’d have been in equally as much trouble. I’d have come across as sketchy and walked in later to her tryna hack my computer.
So in the interest of keepin thangs open, I practiced the same policy as John McCain and pork barrel spending requests…
“You will know their names!”
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Hmm I’m conflicted. I see both sides of the story. Obviously as a woman I’ve been guilty of this. Yet rather than through a fit and bitch about it to the guy, I just acted weird or semi-upset and tried to not admit that I was slightly jealous. This obviously never works b/c eventually you drive yourself crazy holding in the anger/hurt. I know for me, I tend to be a kind of girl that doesn’t like to argue or fight, and I’m naturally not very jealous. However, with my ex there were times a situation had me a little jealous and I HATED to admit it. I also did honestly trust him. So I normally would suck it up and deal with it.
It is very hard when you are feeling a little insecure in your heart but your mind is telling you that you’re being ridiculous by worrying about him going out w/ an old female friend.
I have been single for awhile now and matured a lot since my last bf, so I’m not sure how I’d react now. I tend to trust my gut a lot in situations as of the last couple of years. And it kind of gets back to the whole cheating discussion, sometimes you just have that female intuition that something is up – ie the guy is cheating (by the way I’m 100% accurate when I get this feeling).
So, I guess in the situation I’d probably say it was cool and let him do it. If I was feeling really insecure and upset I’d probably admit it to him later. I definitely wouldn’t yell at him or give him silent treatment b/c that is pretty immature and just not my style at all. But, I’d likely just admit I was feeling a little upset about it and could he help me understand if there was any reason I should worry.
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“Boo”…a derivative of Jigaboo?
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And its my grand debut ….
Tests … Women are always tryna Test a brother …. they speak in codes because they always trying to see how we will react to a situation …. how the situation really went down ….
Slim: Hey, my homegirl Michelle with the track body is in town this weekend. I wanna grab lunch with her while she’s here. You wanna come (along)?
-I know she gonna say no, while we all know she aint gonna trust me alone with this girl ….
Boo: Who is this?
-just want to make sure he says the same thing he said before about her … TEST!
Slim: Michelle. Ran track with her. I’ve mentioned her before.
-one of those dumb tests … ok what did i say last time …
Boo: I thought we were going to the movies?
-damn its the same thing he said … aight how bout this ….
Slim: We are. Can we just go to the 330 showing? She’s only in town for a day then headin’ back to the West Coast.
-wtf the movie aint gonna take all day
Boo: Well, I guess that’s fine. Go grab lunch with her and then just come back and pick me up. I gotta do some laundry anyway.
-dont trust him … lets see if he asks me to come along again …. TEST
Slim: Cool. *Smooches his boo and leaves thinking everything is okay.*
-actually he knows everything is not ok and that she is TESTING him again and gets pissed or laughs … some react differently and decides she acting dumb and he will fail this TEST on purpose …. like he usually does
**Slim returns from lunch to pick up his Boo a little bit over an hour later and is met with an unpleasant surprise.**
- as we know not really a surprise
Boo: Yeah. I don’t feel like going to a movie now.
-you had sex with her didnt you?
Slim: Why? What happened?
-no i didnt have sex with her
Boo: Well since you had time to go grab lunch with your “friend” and didn’t really wanna bring me a long and go to the movie we planned, I wouldn’t wanna burden you with going to see a movie now. I’ll see what my “friends” are up to…
- i know you had sex, you failed the test again
Slim: But I asked you if you wanted to go and you told me to go grab lunch and that you wanted to do laundry? This is ridiculous.
- if i had sex with her, I wouldnt have mentioned her … this is ridicilous
Boo: You didn’t sound like you really wanted me there. You should have asked me again. You know that I wanna meet your friends.
-the TEST gets confirmed
Slim: Can’t you just say what the f*ck you mean the first time?!?!?
-can you stop with these f*ckin TESTS!!!
Boo: Why are you swearing?
-no I won’t, its what i use to read you
Slim: Cuz I take steroids you’re pissin’ me off!
-i aint that complex, 1+1=2 ….. wtf
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 11th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
@ E
That comment had me rollin with people tryna get a glimpse of my computer screen.lol. Very good interpretation!
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Seattle Washington Reply:
December 11th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
lmao. I’m rolling in my office.
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Southern Belle Reply:
December 13th, 2008 at 12:05 am
lolol. so true, love it.
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Well Slim, it could be worse. You could get home and be confronted with one of these situations:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruef7aYCEbc
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 11th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
This video is OD. If a chick ever….evvvvveerrrr tried to pull this…
I’d unbuckle my pants and then tell her if passes the test she needs to make it stand up for a while, then sit back down again. Flawless victory for me.
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ife1love Reply:
December 19th, 2008 at 10:42 am
I saw this in my inbox this morning and had to immediately come here and post this: http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/dec/17/port-st-lucie-police-seek-warrant-alleged-beater-g/
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 19th, 2008 at 10:56 am
I laughed and now I feel like a horrible person since I don’t support domestic abuse.lol.
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