Do You Really Wanna Post That?
Last night on my subway ride home from work, I decided to peruse Facebook status updates. I had initially went on from my Blackberry to post something about tackling a woman with a terrible voice that performs in the subway a few days a week. Within seconds, I found myself in a trance scrolling through people’s lives. Some of you are probably thinking that it’s no different than what I or anybody else does on Twitter. It’s the era that we live in and information is becoming increasingly accessible in real time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m aware.
Nonetheless, I saw a few things that never cease to amaze me. There were a couple of particular updates that made me wanna send some personal messages or make some calls and say “Do you really wanna be putting your business in the street like that?” I’m not talking about things like “At the condo sipping Ketel One by myself” or “Somebody get this bum away from me at the bus stop!” I’m talking about the happenings within their relationships with significant others, friends, and even enemies. I’ve noticed an increase in the specificity of information posted. I’m used to seeing statuses that are indirectly or directly targeted toward someone in particular. But not until last night did I realize people were willing to throw out names. An example:
“It’s too bad people like Shayla can’t mind their own business and worry about themselves”
How can someone mind their business when you’re constantly putting it out there for public review? That’s like sitting next to me talking on your cellphone to your boo about how he keeps poking you in the cervix then telling me f*ck off when I look at you with the side eye and say “impressive”. I can literally figure out people’s relationships and if things are going well based on the content of their status updates.
Maybe I’m old and this is the new generation, but I couldn’t imagine dating a chick who ran to a public outlet to post what was happening with us or to spite someone everytime something happened in her personal life. Going forward, I’m gonna suggest to all my male friends that they need to review shorty’s Facebook habits before deciding to date her. Her wall could foreshadow an abundance of trouble and headaches that could be avoided.
Come to think of it, maybe this isn’t a new generation thing. Seems like even people 10-15 years older than me are doing the exact same type of ish. What gives folks? I understand letting people know what you’re up to and sharing tidbits of info that is easy to relate to. But what’s really good with this incessant need to broadcast the most private details of one’s life through their status updates with their real name and picture right there? At least use an alias or one of the anonymous avenues. Sheesh.
Using my alias as always,
61 Responses to “Do You Really Wanna Post That?”
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Facebook is the window to a chick’s soul……
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thismayconcernyou Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 10:59 am
@peyso: This is so true. I can’t tell you how much stuff you learn about people on Facebook through statuses and notes and their profiles …
personally, I don’t care if you know something about me that I put out there. Because I’m not too worried about what someone who doesn’t know me thinks of me.
But yeah, it’s a window alright. lol.
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TRUE Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 11:02 am
*cosigns*
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Southern Belle Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
double cosign.
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yeah I hate that shyt and what I really hate is if I am friends with the girl and the guy and they are having status arguments.. like for real? we are way to grown for this shyt and if this is how you handle relationships this might be th reason you are single. Now I am guilty of postinng my hatred and turmoil of my job but I would never put our biz on front street like that. Thats a green a$$ way to get some attention. I am even more mad at the people that comment on that foolishness… girl I hear you, lets go out for drinks.. F1ck em girl. and all that…
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What about how the majority of someone’s facebook statuses are woe was me’s… “I had a bad day, I hope tomorrow will be better.” “My heart is broken into tiny baby pieces.”
Maybe I am just hard but shut thee he!! up, no one wants to read that kind of information in a status. Kinda like when I ask how you are doing, I don’t really want to hear the truth about how your cankles are swollen and you didn’t get sleep last night and blah blah blah.
I need a V8. lol
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ASmith Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 8:38 am
I”m with you. Please, people… if every day your status is something about how bad your life is, you need to take a look at your life cause something is horribly awry… probably you.
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JG* Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 8:46 am
Agreed. FB depression is just the worse! Get offline and go to a doctor.
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Cheekie Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 10:43 am
“Get offline and go to a doctor.”
For real. Soon they’ll be a Facebook Psychiatrist app. Or maybe there already is one? lol Wouldn’t even put it past ‘em.
And on the serious tip, those recent Facebook suicides have been scaring the hell outta me. Sad.
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Peyso Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 10:58 am
facebook suicides? i’m googling now…
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thismayconcernyou Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Can somebody post a link concerning FB suicides????
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Cheekie Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Man, even just googling the term “Facebook suicide” brings a bunch of stories. I’m trying to find that one that almost reduced me to tears. It was a young Black Man who posted a video that he was about to kill himself and then did the deed. It was incredibly sad. I can’t remember if it was Myspace, Facebook, or You Tube.
But here are some:
http://www.nypost.com/seven/02212009/news/regionalnews/facebook_suicide_156247.htm
http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-10212554-71.html
http://www.businessweek.com/innovate/NussbaumOnDesign/archives/2007/09/facebook_suicid.html
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 8:54 am
“I don’t really want to hear the truth about how your cankles are swollen…”
LMAO! I hate that, too. It’s like they’re begging for pity. I’m actually more insensitive to people like that.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 9:57 am
People really be getting too personal on facebook. Evidently my lil sister is one of them but I am not her friend on there for those specific purposes. lol
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Britt Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 11:52 am
OMG I have a classmate from undergrad who is like that. She works for a Big 4 accounting firm and is constantly complaining about it. She has done this for the past 3 years or so, but I think it’s especially insensitive now since people are getting laid off left and right. Additionally, I always wonder if she is facebook friends with her co-workers because she straight clowns her boss.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
“Additionally, I always wonder if she is facebook friends with her co-workers because she straight clowns her boss”
Which is just ignorant considering how some workplaces look up people’s facebooks now (I’ve heard).
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Raqi Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
I give FB friends 3 chances to annoy me with emo or revealing statuses. Then I delete them.
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Britt Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
LMAO! I should employ this rule.
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Satya Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
lol. my friend was just cutting me the other day. he said my fb status is always so chipper or I post some random question. what am i gonna b&^%* and moan on fb for?
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Wow, people do that? Maybe I’m gettin old, but half of my friends can never remember their passwords to even get on facebook. But even the hint of f/b drama would dead a relationship of any sort – who has the time??
My co-worker’s (60 yr old) dad had the best quote; he called real excited and asked her if she was on that “Facelift” yet.
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For shame!
I don’t think it’s a generational thing, I think it’s a naive thing. This perception that people give 3 flying flips about what’s really good in your life. Some of us do, most of us don’t. It’s also immature as hell. Please take your business offline. If you’re really so gangsta and you really got something to say, go say it to their face. I don’t care how much the internet becomes our link to the “outside world” some things just need to be said face to face or not at all.
I’ve seriously had to block some people from showing up in my newsfeed because it’s like they update that mess every 2 minutes. Please get on Twitter for all that, boo so that those who want to be updated on how much your life sucks can. UGH.
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I can’t call it. On one end, I’d never publicly air specifics of my life drama on Facebook but on the other end I have done so via Blogging or on a random late night Tweeting my thoughts. I think we’re increasingly merging our real world lives with our lives on the internet, and a lot of people just haven’t learned how to filter their lives for the ‘Net. Some people simply don’t care to.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am
Long time no see!
I understand the usage of blogging and even twitter since so many of us have an alias. But even without those things that most of us write on personal blogs, we know to leave out certain details…especially if we got our picture out there. It also seems like when blogging, people have had time to reflect before they write. On FB, it’s just an automatic reaction.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
And plus, facebook is pretty much broadcasting it.. I really don’t think many people that live in our cities or know us personally would know about our blogs. I could be wrong though.
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I have a friend who’s FB status updates are super personal. When I talked to them about it they were like “My friends on FB are my actual friends, which means I know them. I don’t have 1000 random friends, I don’t have jobs, or grad schools as my friends, my profile isn’t able to be viewed by people who aren’t my friends. I use FB as my personal outlet. If people don’t like what I’m saying, they can de-friend me or block my updates. Point blank.”
I had to hand it to them if that’s how they feel. Me, I just keep it sunny. Not errybody needs to know my business, friend or not.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 9:06 am
“I use FB as my personal outlet. If people don’t like what I’m saying, they can de-friend me or block my updates. Point blank.”
Can you direct your friend to this blog to share their thoughts on why it’s a good outlet for all their personal stuff? Like is to get the support of friends or what?
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People look for attention in updates. We all do. Thats why Twitter succeeds. Its a haven for “look at me lookat me!” I mean, I’m a solo, so I need outlets, lol, but I just think that in this day and age people could care less about what we think of their updates. The want to illicit reactions and look to update as a method. It may serve as theraputic release as well. I try not to get too “specific” in my updates, just because i’d like to keep SOME semblance of privacy in my life.
Good post, que nikka!
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This is soooo timely! what really amuses me lately is how folks like to talk in code, or alude to things so folks can ask “where are you going?” “whats going on?” etc….I think fishing for compliments and attention is soooooo lame.
I’ve posted immediate vents and have had tons of comments like “what’s wrong?! what’s going on?” and I’ll kindly respond “not much, just blown at work”. Its like folks want shit to be wrong with you, uhm if I come across as suicidal, if you were really my friend I’d hope you’d call my ass, not write on my fb wall. if what i was going thru was major it would NOT be on there, trust me. and if it was I’d rather we send personal msgs and not discuss my business for all profile stalkers to see!
I’m so over people chronicling all their beef and breakups via facebook too. its so childish.
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streetz Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 9:19 am
LMAO Reecie knows I’m good for the “side IM” when I see something crazy on the page!
Yay to true e-friendship =) hahahahaha!!
Im gonna start subliminal FB/Twitter blog beef
“I wish SOME people would TAKE their THREE ways elsewhere!”
lmaoo
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it’s crazy that people do that… but i guess if they want to put their business out there, who are we to tell them they shouldn’t? plus, stuff like that makes for good gossip sessions with your friends (“hey did you see what so-and-so said about her boyfriend? I knew he was wack! LOL).
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I’m not on facebook, twitter, my space or any of that mess, cause I don’t feel the need, to first, be THAT plugged in ,and second share my personal business, identity/flicks, and details of my life with the world.
I’m not thirsty for attention or validation from e-friends LMAO no offense to anyone.
If we aren’t in touch already we don’t need to be in touch..Not looking for folk from elementray school etc or folk from the past…
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Yeah, it really speaks to how far technology is advancing when you can go to a computer app to see into the innerworkings of a relationship. Way back when, you had to go through all the trouble of asking them.
As far as updates go, I try to keep them as generic as I can. Folks who get way too personal might as well post their social security number in the update.
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Yeah Whatev Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Folks who get way too personal might as well post their social security number in the update.
this made me laugh out loud! I keep my facbook logging to minimal now. I really only go on with someone posts on my wall or posts a picture of me. I used to like it WAAAAYYY back in 2004 when it was only colleges/universities on it. Yes, my school was one the very first networks on there and I’ve had a profile since then. Dam* I feel OLD. LOL
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well..as a person who has been accused of being attention starved I say this
YES I LIKE ATTENTION…SO WHAT !
Why do you put on fly clothes, why do you cut/style your hair, why you go to the dentist. YOU CARE TO AN EXTENT WHAT PEOPLE THINK. You want them to notice you.
Personally I’m a social person, I LOOVE To talk, chat, debate, discuss and interact.
I am also not a shameful person, I dont mind talking about my experiences and my life. I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. I dont mind people knowing certain things about me, cause they help people learn and they offer some comedic relief and makes them feel they can relate.
I do have a problem when people tell someone something they dont want others to know and it gets out, then they get mad
See me, I dont get mad. I know that If I said it to one, its going to get to another.
I understand some people are very private, thats fine for them.
I’m not very private. *Shrugs*. I like attention *shrugs*
So what!!!!
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Why do people want to be famous..they want ATTENTION
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Reecie Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 11:06 am
give me wealth over being famous any day of the week.
I love to be social as well –I wouldnt’ be on the sites if I didn’t…but I’m private about many things. I believe in keeping some of you to yourself. I don’t need to share every detail with the world….
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OrangeStar616 AKA Kwana of tha good DisKrit Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 11:38 am
give me the fortune as well , F _ _ _ the fame!
ITA with the rest Reecie as far as being social etc, Totally.
Liking attention and being thirsty for it are two totally diff animals……. plus some folk gets plenty of attention in real life tho, enough to spare *shrug*
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TRUE Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 11:40 am
thirsty for attention people are usually drama queens
but general attention or putting general things about you does not mean you are attention starved.
I have no problem getting attention whether I try or not. I just like to talk *shrugs*
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these days, the internet is people’s reality. they feel they HAVE to tell people things [via internet] like “Boquisha is gonna get her ass beat for trying to holla @ my boo” or “I hate the fact that I love him and he loves his wife”. I dunno. people don’t want the person to person conversation anymore. they rather it be wall to wall. it’s easier to hide behind a monitor and gain some attention.
on another note, why do people feel the need to have a 1001 7days7nights.com/alltheparties.net pics? I mean I know you like to party, so do I. But really tho? Does the world need to know that you ‘pop bottles’? That irritates me. probably off topic but ah well.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 11:12 am
You’re a seasoned visitor ash. You’re allowed to deviate from the topic and foster further dialogue.lol.
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ashbunnie Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 11:13 am
lol, why thank you. I didn’t wanna seem like I had adhd or something.
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Good post. I’m going to keep this simple because I murdered this same topic about a month ago … 49. Removable Facebook Friends:
http://thismayconcernyou.com/2009/04/08/49-removable-facebook-friends/
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you know what really bothers me on fb? when people type their status in all caps and its like 10 lines long. o_O
this is an actual status update from one of my students:
“IT’S FUNNY HOW PEOPLE DONT LIKE YOU AND DONT HAVE GOOD REASON THAT WOULD MAKE THEM FALL IN THE CATEGORY OF A HATER HUH? YEA IM JUST SICK OF ALL THE SMALL TALK JUST ACT LIKE THE ANIMAL YOU ARE AND TRY TO FIGHT AND LOOK LIKE A FOOL NOW IM LIKE A FROG THAT PATIENTLY WAITS FOR THE FLY TO COME TO ME ILL WIN EVERY TIME….JUNE 9TH COLDPLAY CONCERT ILL BE THERE….STILL TELLING THESE NIGGAS ” GET A BOSS ON YOUR TEAM”
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Slim Jackson Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
smh at this status. smh.
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Tunde Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
exactly. i’m bout to take her off my friend’s list. lol.
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thismayconcernyou Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
tunde: please read the link I posted just before your comment. It’s speak to this same bs … I can’t believe the student actually used the n-word in his status.
That bothers me more than anything. Have some tact, kid. smh.
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Southern Belle Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
That’s a whole lot of characters, I thought there would be a limit…
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Seattle Washington Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
You can’t be gangsta at a Coldplay concert. Coldplay is the antithesis of gangsta.
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Cheekie Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
That status is sufficient reason why Facebook should start limiting the amount of characters on updates like Twitter and now, Myspace does. Way too long of a status update.
What were they trying to write? War and Peace?
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Luvvie Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
I’ve written bout this very issue MANY times on my blog.
*P3OPl3 whO wr1T3 LiK3 ThI5. TypoCOP (my superhero English alterego). Someone on my friend’s list on Facebook AlwAy5 wr1t3s h3r stAtu5e5 like that, and I am so tempted to defriend her. I just want her to pack her eSh*t and GO! She is bringing down my Facebook property value and I am thisclose to removing her from my eLife.
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Mis.Education Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
Oh, Luvvie, you are speaking from my heart! Call me a grammar whore, but first: there should be no incorrect spellings in your posts. If something gets you SO damn heated to the point that you cannot pay attention to what you are typing, then you need to take your ass off Facebook and handle ya handle! Second, doesn’t that “tYpIng LiKE ThIs” BS take too much damn time?!? Substituting numbers for letters just confuses me. You are not 14 years old, and it should not take me 4 minutes to decode your status and/or profile.
And ANOTHER topic that this feeds into…is the chronic Facebook offender, who updates their status no less than 10 times a day. Really, though? Why are you all over my homepage right now? Removed.
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FYI thirsty folk are not drama queens per say… thirsty people are parched, dry, NEED attention, needy period in one way or another..pressed in other words….LOL not saying you are True but just so we are clear on thirst LOL
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Relationship status changes are hilarious to me. Newsfeed be like “Girl-in-love-with-boo-and-has-5-albums-caking-to prove-it is no longer ENGAGED*.
Me: “Well SHUT MY MOUTH WIDE OPEN!! I thought his name was tattooed on her neck!! What she gon do now??” lol
Then the next day, her relationship status has changed to “its complicated”. Me: “Ohh they must be working it out”. Then after like 5 more changes to the relationship status, it becomes SINGLE, accompanied by a bitter status message.
People who feel the need to give THE WHOLE WORLD a 24-hr key to their livelihood. There are about 1,000 friends and associates on my friends list, and not even a FRACTION know my current state of mind. Why?? Because I don’t feel the need to share my relationships, problems and crises with the entire Facebook population. This is a public domain, and there is no need for everyone to know who I’m beefing with or how shaky any of my relationships are.
To make matters worse, the people who put ALL their business out on the streets are the main ones who be like “Why are people all in my business?” and “Haters need to fall back because my man is blah blah blah *insert stupidity here*”
Don’t leave your bedroom door open while having sex and wonder why folks are watching. <—-BAD METAPHOR BUT STILL.
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for those who say “only my friends see my status”…I think their friends can see your status too right ?
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I dated a guy that would post status updates and blogs of our dates, but he didn’t know I read them. Had to dump that loser.
The guy that killed himself on myspace: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,455945,00.html
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Cheekie Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Yeah, that’s the one! Incredibly sad.
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Damn Terry, the boy dead, cut him some slack
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Terry Lang Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
You are silly.
But seriously, that idiot was posting where we ate, what we did and on top of that had the nerve to address me as his “homegirl” in his little blogs, writing about my temper and my accent…damn fool.
I “tell it to ya face boo, not behind ya back”, so extend me the same courtesy.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
How did you find his blog?
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Terry Lang Reply:
May 8th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
He’s pretty consistant, so he uses the same user name for all his site subscriptions. If you go onto sites like facebook and myspace all you need to do is enter an email address and as long as the person is public their profile will appear. Not to mention he’s the type to link his sites, so myspace will have a link to his twitter account, which links to his blog, which may mention his facebook account, his blackplanet account, his linkedin account, it goes on and on…
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Sometimes I can’t stand college, because its like highschool all over again sometimes. I had chicks from my school try to come at me crazy through FB, but on their status on some subliminal sh*t. tsk tsk tsk.
They looked stupid doing it. While you’re yappin off in your status, mine is no way related to yours, I’m talking about enjoying my day or hangin’ with my girls while they steady typin ’bout me. But HOV said it best. “If it ain’t directed DIRECTLY at me…I don’t respect it.” Ha!
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