Excuse me, Miss Stripper Lady
As I’ve mentioned in commentary in other posts, certain things make me uncomfy: two or more men thronxing one woman; being a part of a threesome; and female nakedness that isn’t my own. Call me prude if you’d like but he and I know what goes down behind closed doors.
Along similar lines, going to strip clubs has always been one of those things I was curious about, and have been tempted to go, but never went. I even asked an ex to take me once, to no avail. Well, all that changed. Yep. A few weeks ago, I went to a shake joint with my cousin and two of our male friends.
I went there with a few concerns: leaving with every surface of my body smelling like cigarettes (I was especially annoyed, because I had just washed my hair); getting groped by a woman; and seeing something that would burn a permanent hole in my memory. Two of these came to fruition, but I lived. As expected, the place was filled with a cornacopia of men and women, looking to get…something. In I walked, uncomfortable and too sober, trying to figure out how the hell I ended up there. At the same time, I feared that my “fresh meat” look would draw some undue attention. So I tried to loosen up with a few beers. Tried being the operative word. As a I winced watched the girls on the stage, I couldn’t help but think about a few things:
I can do that.
Some of these broads were just lackluster and plain as hell. I mean, I’m a small framed woman, but some of them made me look like I had junk in my trunk, and could make it thunderclap. And some of these chics were up there looking crazy. Make up was all wrong, looking like drag queens with female anatomy. And is there a requirement that stripping attire needs to look like it came from G & G or Rave? I know its coming off soon, but damn.
I wish I could do that.
This one lady did something that I can’t describe here, but I heard it referred to as “The See Saw”. And I must say, some of the pole work was inspiring. Made me want to learn a trick or two.
Really? Can you demand that kind of respect?
After finishing her bit and getting on her hands and knees butt nekked to collect her balled up dollar bills, one of the ladies did the unthinkable. Somehow, my crew thought it would have been a riot to buy me a lap dance. Of course, I objected. Either way, as my friend called out “Hey. Hey.” to get the stripper-lady’s attention (after already saying “Excuse me,” a few times) she snapped her neck around and said a quick “Its excuse me Miss, not hey,” and walked away clad in nothing more than her clear stripper pumps.
I was astounded. I mean, really? Here you are, naked, in a dingy shake joint, demanding that someone address you as “Miss.” I’m sorry, but this was HILARIOUS to me. Like, the broad was nekked. Walking around, picking up loose change off the floor. Just finished showing her shaved goods to the whole room in hoping that folks would throw money at her special place, and now, when someone is trying to give her some more change, she wants respect.
I don’t know about this one. Am I wrong for thinking that the square peg she was asking for just does not fit in the triangle hole? True, there is a base line amount of respect I have for stripper ladies. She is at work, trying make dem ends. Fine. No, I won’t ping her in the forehead with my good dollar bill, but I dunno how much further the line goes.
What do yall think about the art and job of stripping? Is there a difference between male and female strippers besides their anatomy? Any funny strip club stories? Do tell.
Sowhatiff - I’m good on the shake joints, thanks - Jenkins
43 Responses to “Excuse me, Miss Stripper Lady”
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“Its excuse me Miss, not hey,” lmao!!!!
Everyone deserves respect but I dunno about miss for a stripper. I think hey or excuse me is appropriate. Afterall she was just rotating and gyrating and shaking her crotch in faces for dolla bills.
This is a good one. I must tell the coworkers about this story
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I was once in a strip club, my homie nutted in his pants from a lap dance. That was pretty funny. I got more but I’ll be back tomorrow.
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Lol! Seriously? The man said excuse me and she didn’t hear him so isn’t “hey” ok to say?
I was just like you (never went to one but wanted to) and I eventually went and never will again. A friend of a friend owned the place, so we had a ring side seat. The chick that choose to get up in my face (why me) had the nastiest looking na-na I have ever seen. Looked like a couple of trains, buses and trucks ran through it. Thinking about it now makes me a lil sick. True, my knowledge goes as far as what I have seen in porn, but for my guy friends to go “damn”, I knew I wasn’t wrong. A fight broke out towards the back of the room, and that was my cue to get the hell outta of there.
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CHeeKZ Fantasy Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 8:20 am
I have never seen any extremely bad cases of roast beef, but I have seen some C-section scars and Buck50s.
Only really bad thing that really happen to me was when some girl begged me to pay her for a lap dance. I said yeah, and her booty was so foul… that was the last time I went….
its nice though when you are always looking and dealing with BEP (black educated professionals to get a change of pace with some high school drop out whose goal in life is to be in a rap video). I think in every blog comment I have ever made I have stress the importance of variety in a men’s appetite…. gotta catch ‘em all.
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Wait a minute. We don’t get the name of the joint? Come’on! I’m always on the look for a hood spot. Can’t mess with those white clubs, that shit is our republicans. I have a feeling you weren’t in New York Tiff, cause very few New York spots let girl get butt naked. Even as a fan of naked women, I have to admit that its a waste of money. But I would rather give expendable funds to a naked woman than a pan handling drug addict or a child molesting Priest. There are worse vices. But on the real, your better off taking those ends n investing in Citibank (they are going to have a huge comeback in our lifetime)
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 9:23 am
lol. No names. Its this sad little spot in a place that’s not New York City, or Atl. Apparently, I need to go to Body Tap to get the “right” experience. But I think I’m good.
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Never been to a female strip club and have no desire to. I’m not knocking their hustle but I don’t want to see it. I have had the misfortune of going to a male strip show. EWWWW EWWW EWWW There was this stripper there named “Teddy Bear” who was about 300 hundred lbs of nastiness. He had on this one piece tuxedo/speedo outfit (I’m convinced he sewed it himself because I can’t believe that anyone would sell such a horrible thing). His chest was full of taco meat looking hair and he had man boobs. He was all sweaty and jiggly…men shouldn’t be jiggly. My friends thought it would be funny to call him over near me where he proceeded to rub his nasty body against me. I’m sick just thinking about this traumatic experience….I gotta go throw-up…..
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 9:21 am
I’ve been to a male strip show once as well. Definitely something that men should not be doing. Not for crowds of women at least. It was just so…I dunno how to describe it, but its not something I ever need to see again.
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I’m back now.
In NYC, everyone says that you have to go up to Hunts Point to have a good time. THEY’RE WRONG.
In Brooklyn, there are a few spots that are event strip clubs on the norm. There’s a spot in Ft. Greene/Clinton HIll/Navy Yards area on Washington and Flushing. Hood as hell, BYOB, each girl makes her own rules so you can talk a girl into whatever you want. I’ve seen dudes straight up game a girl and get what they wanted from free in this spot.
Then there’s another spot on like E.48th and Church or something like that. Same kind of spot but more of a West Indian clientele and focus.
In Philly, there is the ever famous Night on Broad. This is the spot where my man got the lap dance so good he came in his pants. Chicks will definitely give out their numbers to meet you afterwards in this spot. My man almost got killed by a mideget bouncer (I actually mean a man under 4′11) for using counterfeit $10.
In the DMV, there are the garage joints. Aint too much to say about those. Please note that the VIP wristband is WORTH the extra $10.
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My attorney has advised me against commenting on this topic.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 9:51 am
Boo!!
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RightCoastLexSteele, I Tried to Warn Dude Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!
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Cheekie Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
“Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!”
But, then she’ll sound like Kanye West.
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Oh wow! I too have wanted to go and never been… can’t see myself looking at a naked chick that isn’t moi. Have been to a male strip joint, went twice. The first time was okay, my friend knew the owner so we all, strippers included went to Ihop across the street afterwards. They were cool, educated dudes that just realized they’d make more money stripping than at the corporate and professional jobs they had. What ever gets it done I guess. The second time I went I actually fell asleep on the sofa in the VIP section… completely knocked out. That says enough, I need some live extra one on one attention lol.
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“My attorney has advised me against commenting on this topic.”
LOL RightCoastLexSteele.
“Its excuse me Miss, not hey”
It’s kind of hard to respect someone who is not in a respectable occupation.
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This guy I used to date got me to go to a strip club with him. I got to the door and ran out and got back in the car. LMAO.. funniest scene ever.
My good homegirl used to strip, she’s a 2520. One day, I went over her house and she answered the door butt naked. It unnerved me… two of my girls said she did the same thing to them. We chalked it up to nakedness is nothing to her. I certainly had to get used to it.
I’ve been at a bachelorette party with a male stripper. They are so gross. UGH
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i’m a guy and i’ve never been a fan of strip clubs. i’ve been twice (mainly because my friends pressured me into going). i didn’t have fun either time.
i don’t see the point of throwing my money at women who dance naked. i can get that for free and for the most part
i’ll get a happier endingits going to be better. strip clubs smell like broken dreams and black n milds. i walked out feeling like there was some film of invisible filth on my skin.i would never go to another one again.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Black and milds smell way better than cigarettes. Ugh.
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Peyso will kuffi smack you Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:32 am
great point
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RightCoastLexSteele, I Tried to Warn Dude Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
And Mary smells the best of all.
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“Its excuse me Miss, not hey”
Oh, wow. I wish someone woulda been like, “Heffa, I ain’t Jay-Z, now do you want your dinner money or not?” But seriously, can’t knock her hustle or her confidence. She’s just contradicting herself by bending over to pick up money off the FLOOR and then five seconds later, asking to be addressed as “Miss”.
“And is there a requirement that stripping attire needs to look like it came from G & G or Rave?”
LOL!! I actually think that entire store should be a stripper’s paradise. It’s cheap, it’ll get taken off and quite possibly damaged in a short time. I wouldn’t spend that much money on my ish, either if I were them. It’s the women who wear that as everyday clothing that get the side-eye from me.
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Black & Trapped in Toronto Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:20 am
I wish someone woulda been like, “Heffa, I ain’t Jay-Z, now do you want your dinner money or not?”
ROFL!
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:48 am
That killed me too.
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Strip clubs are a fun time. I don’t go to ogle the broads, sort of, I go to see something I don’t see everyday. Whether it be the trashy clubs that slowly turn into a side show by the end of the night or the more “prestigious” clubs with girls that could out work the U.S. gymnastics team for the gold.
Sin City in the BX is a great time. I can’t put into words the things I saw these girls do. However, I’ll do my best without having a diagram and laser pointer. I saw one girl hang upside down from the pole like Spider Woman and do curls with her stage teammate. They were a wondrous duo.
The same girl gave me a lap dance, did a Shinobi back flip onto my shoulders and proceeded to pop and grind her coochie in my face. So yeah, I’ll say it again – strip clubs are a great time. Brings everybody together, you have stories for years all without all the messy clean up.
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Southern Belle Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:14 am
…you could support her weight on your shoulders?
I don’t know what’s more astounding, that or your experience.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Not the first time I’ve astounded and amazed.
To quote my man Al Pacino from “Devil’s Advocate” –
“There’s this beautiful girl just fucked me forty ways from Sunday… we’re done, she’s walking to the bathroom, she’s trying to walk, she turns… she looks… it’s me. Not the Trojan army just fucked her. Little ol’ me. She gets this look on her face like: ‘How the hell did that happen?’”
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Um. So I take it you don’t mind having unknown cooch in your face…
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Seattle Washington Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:26 am
As long as it’s not on my face.
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Peyso will kuffi smack you Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:31 am
huge difference here
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
yucky
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Male strippers do not ooze masculinity to me. I don’t like it.
“Its excuse me Miss, not hey,” and walked away clad in nothing more than her clear stripper pumps.”
ROFL! Skrippahs need respect too!
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Southern Belle Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:14 am
lmao @ skrippahs!
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
They sure do! They are just not gonna get any from me whilst at work. Fully clad in the skreets, maybe so.
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Britt Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
ROFL! STOP!!!!
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A few things:
1. This post is hilarious.
2. The stripper chick OD’d, but if you were where I think you were, that attitude is not uncommon.
3. I went to a strip club in South Carolina and had the best chicken wings and macaroni and cheese of my life.
4. After spending years in a locker room with nekked folk as an athlete, I’m not really affected by other people’s nekkedness.
Except mens: why does it have to swing like that?5. I enjoy being nekked. Me like me body.
That is all.
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I been to a female club once w my ex and his entourage..I was like 18 so I was just happy to get served drinks.. One of the waitresses asked me if my name was Alize…smh
.
That was that…I saw enough and I don’t have any interest to go back.
Later on this month I am being forced to go to one of those male shows 4 my girl’s b-day…VIP tickets too
My stomach is already turning…all the dudes on the flyer look like they on the DL…smirking and posing..all greazy ewwww yuck
I like my men with some ash….
As for the strippa with attitude…many ladies of the night cop an attitude…They have to with all the encounters they have with clients whose only intention is to get off & go home….
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Ironman Reply:
March 31st, 2009 at 1:33 am
“I like my men with some ash….”
LMAO…Now that’s refreshing
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Went to a female strip club last summer, it didn’t really do anything for me. I felt if I starred too hard to take notes, it would make me look some type of way.
But f*ck all that.
I need every lady to book a flight, pack all things short, and head on out to LaBare in Houston, Texas. All the men were gorgeous, place was classy, and the crowd was a great time. This one man put me on his lap and it changed my whole life, moved my hips in ways I never thought I could.
Oh and I’ll never look at the Whisper song the same anymore…sigh.
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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 11:22 am
hmmm. May have to rethink the stripper man thing. I have been scarred though. I think I was too young to appreciate the experience.
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I have had several experiences with strip clubs… I have a cousin who is exactly 10 years older than I (I’m 31) who is still p*ssy poppin’ on a handstand… She’s got a great body, no kids, and she takes care of herself…
That being said – being around my cousin and her friends (my cousin was hella “fass” growing up) has given me the inside track, the real scoop, on women who shake and sell their bodies for a living.
True enough, it takes quite a bit of physical strength and endurance to manuever, shimmy, shake, pop, drop, lock, swing, undulate, “See Saw” (lmao) on that stage every night. Truer still – ANYbody, and I mean ANYbody with the nerve can attempt skrippin’…
There is no “standard” of beauty or intelligence required. There are NO limitations on stretch marks, suicide/homicide attempt marks, razor fight wounds, gastric bypass scars, etc. What you see, for the most part, is what you get.
Then, these women don’t necessarily have the best hygiene… Everyone’s “get ready” ritual isn’t the same… Some women don’t/won’t wash their parts OR their dance clothes – YUCK! Some women also sell p*ssy, and aren’t necessarily keeping clean between “dates”…
Many of the women are on “dat nahcotic”, so their motivations for making the money and the things they’ll do to get the money can get real seedy. The whole thing is a mess, really.
When you get through with it, though, they’re just people trying to make a living…
What I want to know more about, though, are the men’s motivations for going. I’m not just talking about the man that goes every now and again with friends, on occasions; I’m talking about the “regular” tricks that come in at least once a week… Or what about the “Captain Save a Ho”s out there who fall in love with women who they know sell their bodies for a living? Or what about the woman who is stripping her way through college – is she for real, or does she really like it? Just some thoughts…
P.S. I cringe when I stop and think about all the places money goes…
: : shivering : :
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How come your so shocked that the stripper wanted a little respect? Just because you can see her insides and every aspect of her body as she crawls around to pick up her hard earned money … doesn’t make her some classless hoe … right.
I do love when women go to the strip club and realize its not like Player’s Club. The chics usually aren’t that gorgeous, and they’re often nowhere as seedy as women think they are. In 90% of places, there is no guy in the corner getting a handjob.
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Lol classic.
No stories for me in the strip club, I rather throw my guap at the tv and pick it up when I’m done lol.
Irunthroughbabymommas.blogspot.com
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LOL, Tiff that was hilarious!
I’ve wanted to hit up a strip joint for years but all of my boys have backed out of taking me. I was even supposed to go once w/ a guy I was talking to, but he also backed out but we did have a very interesting conversation that I think is relevant to mention here…
There are different types of strip clubs. There are places like Scores and the Hustler Club and then there’s Magic City and the likes, and then there’s Irving’s (shout out to the DMV). You have stush fru fru spots w/ white girls getting their s-factor on (I’ll explain later). Then you have shake joints where you will see women “pop lock and drop it” and then there are the hood spots w/ chicks with cigarette burns and bullet holes.
I decided a long time ago that I in fact don’t want to go to a shake joint. That’s not my version of sexy.
I think stripping can be very artistic. I suggest every woman go take an s-factor intro class if they get a chance. That’s the pole dancing class that’s always on Oprah. They’re all about women connecting with their sexuality. I went for a bachelorette party and the class was really dope. I think it’s wack that they don’t have one in DC but if I lived in the city I would definitely sign up. While I have no aspirations of sliding down a pole for dollars, I’m definitely down to open an exclusive spot in my crib for audiences of one.
In the intro class the instructors demonstrated what you could learn in the different levels of the classes and it was amazing! They were graceful and sexy. They danced to everything from Nina Simone to NIN to Lil Jon. During the class we only learned two pole tricks but they teach you the proper way to stand up, a sexy walk, a lap dance, and a wall routine. It was a great work out and I got a lot of useful information ;o)
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