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Just Because It’s Getting Warmer…
In the last week or so, the East Coast experienced a wave of warm weather. And as we have all witnessed, people think temperatures in the high 70s gives them a free pass to walk around looking and acting crazy. I’ve come up with a list warm weather dos and don’ts that should carry us through til the leaves start turning shades of yellow and orange.
Please lotion your damn legs, ankles, toes and heels.
Baby oil will not adequately address this...
Lawdhavehismercy! I can’t tell you how much it pains me to see a woman walking around with her legs looking like salted pretzel sticks and her feet looking like she just finished driving Fred Flintstone’s whip around Bedrock (#noYoungMoney). I’m not gonna lie, the warm weather caught me (and my budget) off guard, so I couldn’t get a pedicure right away. But please believe I broke out the baby oil gel and applied a fresh coat of nail polish to carry me through.
Don’t have your baby outside without a shirt, jacket, and/or socks on.
Baby to Mom: "This is your fault."
Excuse me Sir and Ma’am. Yes, it’s 73 degrees out right now. Your baby can’t be more than 13 days old. So why do you have baby Jim out here with only a Onesie on? And it’s gonna get chilly soon. I know you know. How do I know you know? Because I see your windbreaker in your hand. But no socks for baby Jim. No full outfit near by. No blanket in the storage spot on the stroller. And no, Mom’s not carrying a baby bag. You ain’t right for that.
Do shave, shave, shave.
Look at those pits...yucky.
Unless you are pulling a Mo’nique, don’t be prancing around with your pretty spring dress on and those Chewbacca looking ass legs. And I peeped your pits when you raised your hand in class. Smh.
Keep your shirt on please.
In addition to the 1 million push ups he needs to do, he needs to borrow the last girl's razor.
Homie, I know you’re feeling a little hype because it’s getting warm. But you and I both know you didn’t start P90X until last week. Why are you walking down the street like you are David Hasselhoff on Baywatch as your man-boobs just-a-bounce-and-a-giggle in the warm wind? At least put the wife-beater tank top back on. Thanks.
Your dress still doesn’t fit, and your shorts look like they are hurting you.
You can't tell me this doesn't look painful..and like it stinks.
Just like the brother who wanted to be free, women left and right are putting on clothes that they know damn well they can’t fit. Those shorts definitely look like they will have you needing your legs cut off just above the knees. I have seen too much tummy, too many behind-cracks, and more stretch marks in the last week than I have in a while. I am not happy about that. Get it tight ladies, or keep the jeans and long sleeves on. You can be comfortable, stay cool and still look nice without having your lycra halter top revealing the work you did not do this winter.
It hasn’t been warm for that long, but I know you have seen some crazy things so far. If not, what are you hoping people do or don’t do as summer approaches? Since Monday sucks, let’s have fun with it.
Restocked my Johnson & Johnson Cocoa Butter-scented Baby Oil Gel,
53 Responses to “Just Because It’s Getting Warmer…”
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I’m so mad at you right now for those vomit-inducing pictures.
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Ugh! Those cracked heels… *shivers*
Anyhow,
I’ve seen quite a few dirty a** flip flops. I was in Sally’s Beauty Supply store this past wknd and this girl had on pink flip flops and you could totally see her dirty footprints on her shoes. Just buy some new ones chick! Eww! Also, I’m guilty of this but I’m more than sure many ppl think I look crazy when I’m wearing my Ugg boots even tho it’s warm. *shrug*
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Peyso Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 9:35 am
I will never understand ppl who wear shorts and ugg boots? I just dont get it. Are your feet cold? What weather are you dressed appropriately for?
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Cheekie Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 11:48 am
“I will never understand ppl who wear shorts and ugg boots?”
I will figure out the meaning of the universe before I figure out this. That fashion combo is a synonym for oxymoron.
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Dr. J (@DrJayJack) Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 12:06 pm
The reason why women wear Uggs is actually comfort. That’s why they will rock them in the summer time. In all actuality they aren’t really that warm and they are HORRIBLE in the snow. Chicks wobbling and falling down all crazy during that last blizzard in DC, metro was hilarious.
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Cheekie Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 12:51 pm
“The reason why women wear Uggs is actually comfort.”
Even though they are TERRIBLE for your feet (ok, maybe the real ones are okay because of the cushioning and it’s the knockoffs that are damaging) and offer no arch support, I get why folks wear Uggs in general. But with SKIRTS and SHORTS? There are plenty of comfy summer/spring shoes that won’t make your feet musty due to being cramped inside a 95 degree Farenheit feet-space.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
*trying to not ask why Dr. J knows this much about Uggs*
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Smiley Face Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 1:49 pm
you took my thought, lol
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SaneN85 Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
I saw a girl doing this yesterday… playing softball.
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Toni Childs Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
I can’t speak for shorts and Uggs wearers across America, but I wear them in that combo around the house because its comfortable. My shorts cover the top and the boots cover my feet and lower leg…so I’m never cold! My knees are exposed but they don’t mind. Eh..this probably explains NOTHING…just my input
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 3:28 pm
I can’t lie, they are quite warm and comfy. I may get the moccasins to get the warm/comfy feeling without the boot action.
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Good post Ms. Jenkins. I so feel you on the crusty heel and too tight clothing *shudders*
To my fellow big chested ladies if you can’t wear a bra with it don’t.put.it.on. You may enjoy writing calligraphy w/your nipples but for general population please put on a bra. Tight dresses can’t replace a bra.
I know it’s warm but baths/showers are still required. At some point during the day the majority of your body should immersed w/water and soap. That bird bath isn’t going to cut it with all this heat.
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ASmith Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 8:53 am
I don’t understand the frame of thinking that says less showers in the heat. Hello… you’re sweating. Profusely. That’s not nature’s bath, that’s nature’s a/c and it requires bathing to remove the funk. ::sigh::
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Smiley Face Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Where dey do they at? More heat = Less showers…O_o wth, how does that make sense?
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I was in the mall a couple weekends ago and I witnessed this exchange from two heavy set women.
#1 – B*tch you ain’t never been an 8 in your whole life. I need an 8.
#2 – No! That other one don’t fit right.
#1 – OMG, you are stretching out the joint.
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I am dead @ Dr. J’s comment. Somebody needs to tell some of these girls that we are in professional school, not the club and definitely not the half price sale at Rainbow. *side-eyes* girl wih the too tight dress and no bra on*
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Women who wear see through leggings as pants irk me to no end. I saw a guy out with his girl this past week and she was rocking black shear leggings and a regular length shirt, her @$$ and crotch were all exposed like wtf. Shear leggings should be worn under cloths, Skits, Dress, Shirtdress.
Rolling off what Ladycakes says, ladies we have to step the bra game up. I’m not against an exposed bra, but it cannot be a Grandma bra with thick white or baige straps. I hate to see a cute top messed up with ugly bra straps.
If you’re a man with a really hot body you should only wear white wife beaters with white sweatpants, just for my enjoyment
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Reecie Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 9:22 am
yeah if the leggings are sheer more than likely they are either 1-too small and too thin material that’s being stretched for dear life or 2-really footless tights, not leggings and some long top/skirt/dress as you said should be covering them.
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Cheekie Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 11:46 am
“Women who wear see through leggings as pants irk me to no end.”
YES! The closest thing to a shirt you should wear them with is a tunic because then the leggings are still serving their actual purpose. LEGGINGS.
I also hate when women try to stretch out the lifespan of their leggings forever. The friction caused by thighs rubbing together while wearing leggings is some true damage. Toss those leggings and get a fresh pair if I can see the snagging and holes between your thighs. It’s rude and gross.
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ooooh crusty heels make me want to gag! I keep my feet pedicured up year round so that’s not a biggie to maintain but I do hate that I have to shave more often in the warmer months–I don’t wear a lot of skirts in the winter and everything just grows quicker when its warmer. Having said that…
I too don’t understand bathing less when its warmer, its so hot and humid down here I bathe MORE in the summer since just walking to the car can cause one to sweat profusely. plus having hair in places that sweat = a musty mess. BO is like intensified in the heat. the courteous thing to do is to bathe regularly and keep it fresh for the sake of those around us as well, lol.
I can’t even discuss ill-fitting clothing. That’s my life crusade. I need a partner so I can take it to the streets like Stacy & Clinton. LOL
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Bigger/sweaty men please carry a towel. No need to be dripping on folk. You wont catch me w/o a fresh white hand towel. (you’ll look like an idiot w/ the long jawns)
Men, update your v necks. I shouldnt see your nipples in a vneck t shirts
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DEAD @ that last pic LLS!!!!!!!
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My fellow big boobie ladies… you have to wear a bra. The halter on that cute sun dress is not enough to hold the puppies. Buy a good convertible bra… And honestly, even if you are an A or B cup, you should wear a bra. You are not 12 years old, and this is not the 70′s. You’re a grown woman, wear a bra.
I hate ash with a passion. I lotion my hands constantly throughout the day. I would appreciate if everyone invest in a good moisturizer, preferable something a little more natural, and keep the ash at a minimum this year.
And if you haven’t been in for a pedi yet, it’s a good time to start getting them regularly.
Co-sign Peyso’s comment. I like big men, but I do not want them sweating all over me. Carry a towel, hanky, whatever you need to stay cool and dry.
And if I see one more big girl in ill-fitting clothing, I might go insane. Or blind.
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Nick_L_Odeon Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 10:16 am
you know.. i’m glad that you mentioned the smaller bra sizes.. my friend is a “D”.. and thinks that since i’m a “B”, that i can walk around all freely.. WTF?!?! hell no, i can’t.. even so, why would i want to? gravity is no one’s friend.. i’m in a STRICT “fight gravity” mode right now..
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i live in Florida.. so that’s pretty much the case ALL YEAR ROUND!! (God bless the cold fronts..)
i ALSO love the shoes that have the heels fallin off the back.. not to be confused with the person whose toenails hang off the front.. UGH!!!!
when ever i see a woman with tight shorts on, i’ll usually say something like, “she LOOK liek she got a yeast infection..” or “let the cooter breather”.. usually as they’re walking past.. i don’t know how i haven’t gotten my skull cracked open yet.. but they know what they looked like when they left the house!!! “SHAME KEYLOLO,SHAME!!”
the dirty flip flops ANNOY the hell outta me.. Old Navy has them 2 for $5.. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM!?!? EWWW!!
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 11:02 am
toes hanging off the front of the sandals are the worst!
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Cheekie Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 11:38 am
I know! Looks like the toes are about to commit suicide.
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I enjoy that one of the tags to this post is ‘taco meat’
I’m most puzzled by people who dress for yesterdays weather…you know they update that forecast daily right? It’s not 50 degrees and you’re walking around in a flimsy dress, no jacket and flip flops to work? Yeah I see you shivering, ass.
Also, not only are flip flops super cheap, you can CLEAN them! A light scrub will have them looking fresh again. But then if you don’t bathe every day, not sure you can handle this task anyways.
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Nick_L_Odeon Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 11:12 am
this happens round my way too!!! we’ll get ina cold front.. and the idiots come out in the short dresses, with the backs out, and no sweater.. i’m lookin at them like, “i know you’re cold..”.. be appropriate.. i know you shop at Forever 21, they got sweaters in there too!! figure it out!!
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Just because it’s getting warmer…
- don’t mean all ya’ll ninjas have to come out at the same time. My sister lives by a park and SWARMS of folks come out and stay 24hrs. The worse ain’t even the kids. It’s worse at night. When the
freaksso-called grown-ups come out.- don’t mean it’s “Disrespect My Sistren” season. Yeah, I know ya’ll men are going nuts after several months without seeing some legs. We sistahs understand. We go coo-coo for Mr. Coca Puffs mowing the lawn shirtless ourselves. But, don’t transfer that frustration into plain disrespect. You might be able to see some leg, but that’s all you gonna see…short of a mean-mug. Behave yourself.
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Peyso Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 11:06 am
“- don’t mean it’s “Disrespect My Sistren” season. Yeah, I know ya’ll men are going nuts after several months without seeing some legs. We sistahs understand. We go coo-coo for Mr. Coca Puffs mowing the lawn shirtless ourselves. But, don’t transfer that frustration into plain disrespect. You might be able to see some leg, but that’s all you gonna see…short of a mean-mug. Behave yourself.”
This bothers me too. As a dude, I witness it and I’m like “you’re ruining it for us guys who actually have a chance to bag said women”. Dudes who have nothing good to say or who look like a cactus need to take one for the team and shut up.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Co-sign. Though you could that to your advantage…
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Cheekie Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 12:53 pm
“Co-sign. Though you could that to your advantage…”
I was thinking this. lol If you happen to be near the offending ninja, you could play it to your advantage and “save” the chick with a “tsk tsk, I apologize for my brethen” type ish to get in with her. Extra points if you admonish the ninja right then and there in front of her. I mean, unless he looks like Mr T.
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Erm… I pretty much don’t like a lot of summer clothing when I think the chick looks like a hot ass mess but I will say this. From the Mind of a Man:
If you gonna wear leggings, put on a thong or go without. Bunch drawers are not the move.
If you gonna wear open toes, do something with those toe nails.
Trick you know you need to go to Mac and get that new makeup for the summer tan. You looking like a mime out here with that makeup from December in June. #cmonson
If you got a belly, and you want to rock that summer dress, with the elastic belt above your stomach. Every dude thinks you’re pregnant, be advised.
Men, women and boys and girls. When you put on lotion, Imma need you to start at your toes and go all the way up your leg. Walking around looking like you went Freddy Adu on a box of baby powder.
On the low, I don’t really need a pen. I just ask you women for one because I enjoy watching you go through your body bag.
Sweating by anyone is not cute. But boo boo, if you gonna wear something cotton or so that’s tight. Please inform your homegirl to let you know when you got sweat on your back and check those pits.
Ladies, go get your kitchen trimmed if you gonna have your hair up.
Although you may think it’s cool. Men laugh at women for those sandals that have straps all the way up to your knees. You look like a ballerina… and stupid. Stop it.
One pieces are STILL out of style. One piece jean outfits will get you shot. Yes we will Rae Carruth a chick over this.
Sweat and Makeup and cell phone. Ladies when I see your cell phone and it looks like a bathroom sink with hair, makeup and sweat all mashed together on your screen I throw up a little in my mouth.
Please stop using those damn sprays from Victoria Secret. It’s not prefume. You smell like a strip club.
If you got big breasts, you cannot wear a strapless bikini. You know we not 19 anymore, you’re 34.. excuse me, 36DD’s will be pointing down wehn you come out the pool without your top. We ain’t trying to see that.
If you have a nice ass, wear a thong for a reggin.
Cross your legs and sit proper. We know it’s hot and your trying to get some cool air, but when you sitting on the metro fanning the ish out your hot weave and your legs are spread wide open, I throw up a little.
You don’t need panties for a freakum dress. I’m just saying.
Coogi dress are STILL not in style.
Ed Hardy was killed last year in a car accident. Three chicks got out the car wearing all Ed Hardy and the car blew up. Don’t do it.
Last but not least, there’s a reason why my boy makes six figures selling girdles. #youknowyoubig look.
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Anna Nimous Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 10:51 am
*dead*
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 11:07 am
Well done.
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Nick_L_Odeon Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 11:09 am
______________*flatline*_____________
you came up with a WHOLE D*MN LIST!! LOL!!
“you smell like a strip club”..
and you know they’re buying the spray because the perfume is too much.. my local swap shop will hook you up on the perfume tip, honey!!
and i was a ballet dancer, and i STILL don’t wear shoes with the straps all the way up the leg.. i love especially when the leg looks like a turkey leg.. and the fat creeps out between the strap.. UGH!!
*somewhere in the forest, a bunny dies..*
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 11:09 am
One pieces are STILL out of style. One piece jean outfits will get you shot. Yes we will Rae Carruth a chick over this.
Women still wear those jean onesies? I thought that tacky mess died when J.Lo started dating Ben Afflack.
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Reecie Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
you went in!!!! I love it though.
whats so funny is I will never forget I dated an older guy back in 99–freshman year of college and I wore THE HELL OUT of Pear Glace from Victoria’s Secret. he said it was an aphrodisiac because that’s what the chicks wore in strip clubs to get more tips. LMAO.
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“If you got a belly, and you want to rock that summer dress, with the elastic belt above your stomach. Every dude thinks you’re pregnant, be advised.”
LOL. This is across-the-board true with men. I’ve heard several men say that empire waists DO NOT flatter women. It makes them look pregnant. It’s funny because some women SWEAR it slims them. #grossmissconceptions
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I’ve seen more chipped paint than an auto body shop here in Boston.
If I had time to get a fresh line up and/or shave off the grizzle, you can put some effort towards your foot fingers. #ImJustSaying
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Im just tired of seein chicks with their bellys out as if we all dont know you got one. Wearin tight clothes and lookin faux preggers aint whats hot in the hood!
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
or in the burbs.
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ChokLitFactory Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
I blame the leggings movement…
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I’m on a personal crusade against the muffin top. And a muffin top bikini will get you shot on sight. The. End.
I just can’t deal with B.O. Nignag you need ANTI-PERSPIRANT. Stop tryna use deodorant to cover up that funk. Take a BATH. Then use some clinical strength antiperspirant if necesary and baby powder for the delicate areas.
Chicks shave your effing pits, and they make sheer/clear deodorants now, if you lift your arms it should NOT looked like a FROSTED CAKE! That’s not what’s hot in the streets. Dudes if your armpit hair looking like Huey from the boondocks CUT THAT SHIT!
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Nick_L_Odeon Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 1:11 pm
i also love when the powder is making appearances all across their neck.. then gets caked up in the folds of the neck as the day goes by.. oooh girl, you nasty..
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Smiley Face Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
*shudders*
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Flip-flops!!! I’m tired of being in a building and seeing your feet.
Then there’s the people with bare feet all the time. Those are the ones
2520sthat prop their feet on EVERYTHING. pisses me off…Reply
Ladies…if you know you walk like a three toed sloth in heels, do me a favor and don’t try to be sessy in them, shashay shante my @ss…
Fellas, if you’re going to wear shorts, wear them!! If the hem of your shorts stop an inch above your socks, those are not shorts, they are highwaters!
Y’all of the dingy wifebeaters need to be shot…you look fonky (yes FONKY)
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Toni Childs Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 3:30 pm
“Y’all of the dingy wifebeaters need to be shot…you look fonky (yes FONKY)”
and can I just add…if your beater is stretched out its time for it to exit stage left as well? I’m pretty sure a beater isn’t supposed to fit like a loose blouse…
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Forget the skimpy stuff too soon or n the wrong person how bout these fools comin out in April with winter coats, no its not 80 n above but northface bubbles a week past Easter? Knock it off! Wear a jacket or lite sweater or hoodie.
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testing 1,2…testing 1,2
new name…
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funny stuff!!! type of thing I’ve seen on http://ghettoredhot.com
might have to submit these pics.
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