Is There More Cheating Or Just More Chatting?
See, they even get movies now!
It’s no secret that 2009 was full of relationship scandals, so much so that there were articles in “Time Magazine” and Three Ways discussing the dissolution of marriage. Yes, I placed this site and “Time” in the same sentence. It seemed like men and women have been stepping out on their spouses with all-time fervor. But have they really? I know some writers, myself included, stated that the sanctity of marriage is at a low and people have disregarded what it truly means to be committed. Recently, I’ve begun to question this sentiment. Not because couples have been more pious. Quite the opposite. Some recent events made me ask myself -- have people been cheating more or are the mistresses just more vocal?
What triggered my thought process was the latest cheating scenario that came across my Twitter feed. I’m going to make this quick, because I’m not Perez Hilton nor is this Bossip. No shots. Turns out Reggie Bush had a pseudo side piece when him and Kim Kardashian took a break. You surprised? That’s what I thought. What is surprising is that the woman, Carmen Ortega a.k.a. Kim Kardashian’s Hispanic Doppelganger, videotaped herself walking around Mr. Bush’s home and then put it up on YouTube. Wait for it -- during the weekend of the Super Bowl. Which just lets you know that even if you win, you still can lose.
This basic broad doesn’t even know what a air hockey table is. Damn.
Anyway, turns out that all of this is kind of old news because she was on Angela Yee’s radio show back in August talking about her affair with Mr. Bush.
What’s horrible is that this outlandish behavior isn’t an isolated event. It’s actually becoming infectious. Have you forgotten about Eliot Spitzer’s escort’s many New York Post covers and/or the Woods Collective’s coming out party? Ever since Monica Lewinski made a slew of money from being the most famous dick sucker in American history, prominent men’s side pieces are now just out for the loot once the affair is over. And our current media outlets give them the platform to do just that.
Then again, it’s not just the Gossip rags and questionable news channels’ fault. One way or another, mistresses are fighting to get their voice heard and their “emotions” off their chests. I’m sure you heard about the woman who spent about $250,000 to advertise an eight year affair she had with a married man to the world. Well, just main traffic areas in Manhattan, Atlanta and San Francisco. You know, where both of their friends and co-workers were located. The woman had a better media buy than Denny’s.
All this just lets me know that mistresses have lately become so emboldened that they decided to capitalize on being the side piece or they just take pleasure in ruining not-so-happy homes. All while chipping away at their remaining self-worth. From what I know, a side piece stayed quiet back in the day. Marilyn Monroe used to mess with both the Kennedy brothers. She didn’t come out with a book; it was just known that if a doctor took a hair sample, he’d probably find more than one strand of DNA. And there were many more like her. It was wrong, but it was the right thing to do in a wrong situation, no?
Now was it because the John F. Kennedy, or men of that era/mind frame, were more stern about keeping their house a home? Or was it because women back then had more self respect and/or weren’t looking for a check?
Either way, the original question still stands. Is marriage currently torn to shreds? Are there more people cheating than ever or are the wrong people just talking too loudly? Do the side pieces just have bigger mouths than their partners originally thought? …See what I did there?
Seattle -- Eff You Guys, I Don’t Want To Get A Fancy Signature -- Washington
38 Responses to “Is There More Cheating Or Just More Chatting?”
Comments
Read below or add a comment...
Leave A Comment...
-
- Help Us Grow! Subscribe!
Now was it because the John F. Kennedy, or men of that era/mind frame, were more stern about keeping their house a home? Or was it because women back then had more self respect and/or weren’t looking for a check?
there were definitely more sanctions/social consequences for divorce (not cheating) back then. don’t think we can ever make a case for mistresses having more self-respect in any era. marilyn monroe was certainly a tortured individual, not wholly because of the affairs w/ the kennedy brothers but we do know that added to her misery. a certain kind of woman agrees to participate in that kind of arrangement and self-esteem is definitely not the highest thing on the menu. we also can’t forget the fact that there were more sanctions for mistresses back then as well.
Either way, the original question still stands. Is marriage currently torn to shreds? Are there more people cheating than ever or are the wrong people just talking too loudly? Do the side pieces just have bigger mouths than their partners originally thought?
i do think the current social climate hasn’t been good to marriage. we swung from one extreme (pious, obedient wives/husbands staying in unhappy marriages for appearances or children) to the other (marriage is considered REALLY serious dating with possible expiration dates). i’m optimistic that we’ll be entering a middle ground soon where we understand that marriages take work, won’t be perfect, and aren’t about living your favorite movie/drama before the pendulum swings to another extreme. it seems like people are taking marriage more seriously and thinking more about what spending your life with someone entails emotionally and practically. now, i’m drawing this conclusion from people marrying later in life and all this investment in books, movies, shows, etc. to learn about making relationships work and bettering themselves, but i may be wrong about that and the trend may be representative of a whole different, sinister phenom. i’m still kind of weirded out that people feel the need to turn to blogs, books, movies, and shows to learn how to not be assholes, but eh. whatevs. i’m hopeful that a healthier, happier tide is coming for marriage.
i don’t think cheating is on the rise. i agree that women are just more vocal about it. wives feel empowered to be angry and vocal about that anger. mistresses don’t get the same scorn from their peers that they used to- there’s this movement to understand the mistress and her pain. the focus seems to have shifted from the mistress to the man breaking up the home, as it should be but this giving the mistress a pat on her back and hug doesn’t sit well with me either. i’m judgin em both! now, with celebrities (whom i consider a different entity), the mistresses are definitely looking to get paid in this tabloid, tell-all book, reality show, movie (lifetime or otherwise) environment we have going on right now.
Reply
I don’t believe cheating is any more prevalent today than it was yesteryear. It also doesn’t shock me that the “other woman” is now speaking out. It’s profitable and it’s an opportunity. Aren’t most attached men viewed in that light anyway?
What surprises me steadily, and maybe it shouldn’t, is there are men who have convinced themselves so fully of their own prowess that they believe they can keep their harem quiet. Whatever you did to garner her silence the first time has to be exceeded the second time and so on. That’s just good business sense. And then there is that fragile, volatile thing called female emotions. There is no predicting or containing that. Eh…
Reply
this basic ass broad. reggie needs to do better.
to answer the question, i don’t think overall the sanctity of marriage is torn to shreds. what i do believe is that some people get married for the wrong reasons. besides marriage, i think some gold digging broads portray certain characteristics that will let you know their intent. i’m sure reggie knew what type of woman he was dealing with. he chose to and that’s the seed he sowed.
Reply
BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 9:51 am
Totally agree. I also think the overall mindframe when going into marriage is completely scewed from both male and female perspective. I think people are more worrried about their life schedule than taking a step back and analyzing the step they are taking when it comes to marriage. There are too many couples/people gunning for the picture perfect portrait instead of lookin deeper to see what it took for that portriat to look or seem perfect.
Reply
Wow! So you gon’ throw “dick sucker” out there like that? No clever euphemism or anyting?
I don’t think mistresses back in the day had any more respect for themselves than the mistresses of today because they were still bedroom boxing with a married man… nothing respectful about that. I think people respected the institution of marriage more. People used to feel shameful for being in an adulterous relationship. My mother still talks trash about some of her peers who had affairs with married men. Adultery wasn’t glorified. It was scorned, and women did not want to be on the receiving end of public scorn and humiliation. Who wants to walk around with a proverbial red “A” attached to their chest?
Nowadays, marriage has become the punchline in Super Bowl ads, late night t.v., and relationship blog topics. Even if it’s just a joke, it shows a greater societal problem of people no longer respecting the institution of marriage. And when you don’t respect marriage, or any other type of committed relationship, you don’t have a problem airing dirty laundry. It’s every man or woman for himself. We love stories about the politician hiking the Appalachian Trail or spending big bucks on some of the best cooch in town. We don’t give marriage nearly as much of a spotlight.
I kinda feel sorry for these women b/c most will never be someone’s wife. That Ortega chick will always be someone’s JO. Lady who put up the billboards will be single for the rest of her life, unless she moves abroad. It’s pathetic, really….
Reply
Seattle Washington Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 11:05 am
Can’t sugar coat it for you guys all the time. It’s time to watch that Rated R movie with your cool uncle, Seattle.
You’re right though, back in the day it was a bigger deal to be a “floosie.” Yeah I said “floosie.” Now it’s almost expected.
I don’t know if Carmen Ortega will always be the JO, I mean Kim Kardashian is wifed up…
Reply
N.I.A. naturally Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 12:12 pm
You’re right about Ortega. I know there is some young, black NBA/NFL baller waiting to
save that howife her… introduce her to the finer things in life & shyt….Reply
I wouldn’t say the level of self-respect amongst mistresses has changed, I think that the stigma around being a so called “mistress” has. I feel that, in general, marriage/monogamy is taken lightly more and more frequently as time goes on, so infidelity is becomes just another one of the “hard knocks” that comes with being in a relationship. I’ve been in and or attended 4 weddings since I graduated from college (undergrad) 2.5 yrs ago and have 2 more coming up before the summer. Two of those have already experienced instances of infidelity and one ended in divorce.
Meanwhile I sit back and watch people like Mariah & Nick or Khloe and Lamar getting married on a whim, knowing it won’t last beyond a handful of years (maybe even months, smh). I see all of this ridiculousness and, well…let’s just say my confidence in the sanctity of marriage has weakened significantly.
As far as this Carmen Ortega chick, she’s just a dumb broad, which most groupie/mistress types start to be when hooking up with people like him. I just can’t understand consciously wanting to be ANYONE’S side chick, no matter how much I might be gettin’ cashed out…my self-respect (WAAAY) is more important.
Reply
*jumps up and down* ooooo! I’m telling Slim… Seattle used a bad word in a post!!!
Anyway, I don’t think cheating is more of an issue today than it has been in the past. As I do for just about all the changes in social dynamics, I blame the media and technology. Its become so easy to retrace entire relationships via email, texts, video, voicemail, etc. Back in the day, it was just a phone call, special spots, and maybe some pictures from afar. Gossip has become a new creature. Not that these women should be shamed per se, but have some pride or something. I mean, damn. Dillboards in Times Squares? Really though? You and your homegirl on video in dude’s house? Its like the get rewarded for some twisted “revenge” they think they are seeking. In reality, now you just look like a silly lady to say the least…
But you know who I also blame? I blame the women who get cheated on. Yep, that’s right. The main women need to put the fear of God in the hearts of these women their men are creeping with (let’s not act like they don’t know a lot of the time). If a side piece fears an ass whoopin like the one Tiger’s wife put on him, I bet we’d have more quiet side pieces. #justsayin & #justkidding…a little
Nah for real, I also think there has been a shift in what “respect” means. Now women get props of sorts via all this attention for being reckless in how they out their creep. *shrugs*
Reply
SoBKAllDAY Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 10:19 am
“Anyway, I don’t think cheating is more of an issue today than it has been in the past. As I do for just about all the changes in social dynamics, I blame the media and technology. Its become so easy to retrace entire relationships via email, texts, video, voicemail, etc. Back in the day, it was just a phone call, special spots, and maybe some pictures from afar. Gossip has become a new creature.”
Miss Jenkins, you ain’t nva lie (well there was that one time)! She totally has a point. Cheating is not necessarily a bigger issue than in he past but rather under a larger, more abundant spotlight. In a world where its all about ME, MONEY AND MORE ME NOW! its understandable why these women are trying to cash in on their situations at hand. They probably mostly have low self esteem, lack values, and are trying to improve their bank account and move up a class or two. It ain’t necessarily right, but I once heard somewhere, you can’t knock the hustle.
On another note, I believe the bigger issues is, and has always been the INSTITUTION of MARRIAGE. Marriage is a business dealing more so than being about an actual relationship. Now Marriage is supposed to be “Marriage is a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found.” Notice the first part of the definition; rather than most concentrating on the social union portion, they are more inclined to focus on the legal contract. Think about this, the business of marriage employs wedding planners, priest, judges, dress designers/makers, divorce lawyers, prostitutes (sometimes known as side ho’s), etc. Rather than focusing on the love, and building of the relationship, all of these other factors come into play. And lack of not knowing yourself, let alone your spouse doesn’t help these situations either but people have been brainwashed to support this biz since birth and get married b/c tv, mom & dad, church, magazines and everyone else say’s its the thing to do rather than taking a step back and analyzing the structure and how its been set up.
Stop sleeping folks cuz its the cousin of death…
Reply
RightCoastLexSteele, In a new location Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Take Jenkins with you when you decide to go play in traffic. Thanks.
Reply
Ms. Cherry Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 2:29 pm
“Its like the get rewarded for some twisted “revenge” they think they are seeking. In reality, now you just look like a silly lady to say the least…
But you know who I also blame? I blame the women who get cheated on. Yep, that’s right. The main women need to put the fear of God in the hearts of these women their men are creeping with (let’s not act like they don’t know a lot of the time).”
I used to see this foolishness in high school and now it seems like the same BS just gone high tech. One of my girls dated this no-good dude who cheated on her left and right with this other chick in our class. Said hoe (yeah I said it, she was a HOE!!!) would regularly try to play my girl by writing poems about her man for school projects and tacky ish like that. We (those of us with eyes) tried to show her the light and that this boy was not the virgin he professed to be (yes he had the nerve to let that lie leave his lips) but she was stupid and wouldn’t listen. We even caught the trick in his house, NAKED… she went for the “oh she came by to chill and took a nap” story.
… I hate stupid women!
Reply
I think in this age of technology there are more opportunities for a woman scorned to be heard and get revenge and the icing on the cake for them is financial reward, too. More importantly, morals seems to have fallen by the wayside over the last decade. Society is on a decline in general morally and ethically. Its just a sign of the times….
Reply
Peyso Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 10:10 am
I really dont know if morality in an absolute sense is on a general decline. What proof is there that it existed? Who defines it? Is it relative?
Reply
Actually…yea, we’ve forgotten about what happened w/ Eliot Spitzer. Spitzer 2014, HOLLA!
Reply
That chic is…I don’t get it, can a man explain why? It is definitely her body that would cause you to tolerate that. What were the conversations like, for his sake I hope there was little convo, my head hurt from listening to her.
Anyway, I am not praising mistresses at all cause I have no sympathy for how a woman who knowingly engages in side piecery is treated but the men deserve whatever they get. As a people in this country, we pay attention to the latest side piece story and these women are realizing that I won’t be #1 so I might as well make this thing profitable for me.
I wonder if male side pieces will start taking advantage of this new found way to make money. Just like Reina said, these women are not playing, you have to keep topping your hush gifts every time or the chic will ruin your life. It serves you right for getting used (cause our double standard society is less forgiving when it comes to a woman who lets herself be #2) and it serves the men right for being so short sided.
Reply
Slim Jackson Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 9:48 am
Can I just say that your moniker here makes me laugh every time I see it. It just seems so warm and
moistpeppy.Reply
ILoveit...Yaaay Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 3:13 pm
Why are you so wrong lol. The moniker was really meant for yesterday’s post and I forgot to change it or put an also known as beside it…I might just keep it.
Reply
Seattle Washington Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 1:11 pm
Y’know as crazy as things are right now, I wouldn’t be surprised if some dude came out swinging. Pause.
You heard it here first – I expect Hillary Clinton and/or Nancy Pilosi’s side piece(s) to release a tell all book soon.
Proposed titles: “He Owes Me One” or “The Back Door To Congress”.
Reply
RightCoastLexSteele, In a new location Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 1:39 pm
More than likely it would be Hilary than Pelosi. I’ll let you do the math on that one.
Reply
“I know that’s Ms. Reggie’s Bush/ But that use to be Ray-J’s Bush.. She use to blowup and down like Cali Kush!”
Game feat Ray-J. Pu$$y Fight.
Hey! All I’m saying is Reggie aint the only only one with a past. Successful men deserve more than one girl. Back in the day you were allowed to get your Bill Henderickson on.. why hate now? You are forcing these men to cheat.
**Sidennote** Monica Lewinski wasn’t looking to get paid. Someone snitched on her. She actually has self value. She may be the butt of everyone’s joke but she graduated top of her class from Georgetown law and is a successful and influential lawyer in DC (atleast that is what B Walters reports).
I don’t like how mistress’ get labeled. Why don’t you try being a side piece before you judge them. They are nice people who perform a service.
Reply
I read this last night and took a step back before I made any comments. I think heads need to understand once you’re in the spotlight, your side piece actually does hold some power. Why, because there is an advantage of actually coming out clean which is personal fame. There are certain individuals I blame out there that have empowered “the side pieces” within the last 20 years.
Exhibit A: Superhead
This chick glamorized her lifestyle of being nothing but a two bit whore that had a high price tag. I blame this lame chick’s book for given side pieces a sense of false power. Sidenote: Committed women in relationships can actually take notes from Superhead tho. (Watch Superhead & Mr. Marcus, ladies good tutorial. I think this video should also be referenced in RCLS’s article ‘ Top 5 Reasons WHy You Should Swallow’)
Exhibit B: Heidi Fleiss
This escort was known for being the Madam of Hollywood who would later take the fall for her successful pimp ring. After her stint in jail, Fleiss had already had a made for TV movie and documentary out about her lifestyle. Since then she has been on a slew of reality shows…
Exhibit C: The Media
I’m not even going to go deep into what the media has created with these chicks…SMH!
Side pieces need to understand you’re like the mash potatoes, mac-n-cheese or the vegtables on the plate…They will never be the main course so they should know their role and act accordingly.
Letting side pieces around the world know …You still ain’t Sh&T
-BBW
Reply
SoBKAllDAY Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 10:28 am
“Sidenote: Committed women in relationships can actually take notes from Superhead tho. (Watch Superhead & Mr. Marcus, ladies good tutorial. I think this video should also be referenced in RCLS’s article ‘ Top 5 Reasons WHy You Should Swallow’)”
2nd’d by ME,ME,ME,NOW,NOW,NOW!
Reply
Anyone who believes that what’s going on now, hasn’t ALWAYS been going on, is either incredibly naive, or living in a cave. Those stories about the ‘milkman’ didn’t originate yesterday…what I think is happening is that more people are stepping forward…technology has affected it too…I always laugh at these pols…how many people are really being honest on those pols? How many skeletons are people really fessing up to? People buy into the images that are pumped into our heads in the media, and from our social circles as well…if people really sat and looked at it, logically, there’s no way in the world we’d reach half the conclusions we reach with regards to infidelity and mores…
SMH.
100.
Reply
There is absolutely nothing new under the sun, in regards to relationships. What is new is the messy usage of technology, the gossip mags that pay folks to “tell their story” and publishers that allow the “devastated spouse” an outlet to tell their side as well via a book deal.
I wish more people would keep their damn business to themselves, but then again we wouldn’t have much to talk about. Not just with this girl making a vid walking around his house but the vids of children doing inappropriate things–pretty much anything controversial that is NOT new, just now broadcasted. The way cheating as permeated our minds and dialogue is kinda sad. I still value the sanctity of marriage. Those that do not, I really I don’t think it has to do with the media exposure of cheating more than it does they were not raised with many examples of successful marriages.
Reply
Marriage isnt torn to shreds at all. People were cheating before and people are cheating now. The difference is that women have entered the workplace and have the means to provide lives for themselves. In yesteryear, it was very difficult for a divorcee/widow/old single jawn to provide for herself. Now, as women are starting to take over the workplace, they are no longer staying w/ cheating, abusive, lil p3nis dudes. Also, laws have been change and now a woman can expect to get broken off in allimony payments.
Reply
Peyso Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 10:07 am
How come my strikeout ddnt appear?
Reply
Whatever happened to that Black mayor in Detroit? Kwame Kilpatrick? He was sliding off and sloppy with the text messages.
Reply
Reecie Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 10:13 am
he moved to Texas and will probably pursue politics again one day.
Reply
I’m going to agree that it’s a mixture of all types of things. For one, I don’t think marriages are being put together any quicker than before (look at older stars and their million husbands) but I think that for the average family the cost of breaking up a home isn’t as high.
Two, the media is giving an ever growing place for mistresses to voice their opinions and what they see is that speaking out gives them money, more fame, and some new men to cheat with.
Three, women no longer look the other way and technology has made it easier to catch someone… Yes we are on to your sloppy ways
Reply
CHeeKZ Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
wait.. I thought women cheat more than men? Why is it always the ‘other woman’?
Reply
LittleMissSunshine Reply:
February 10th, 2010 at 12:45 pm
well…. the men we cheat with aren’t stupid enough to open their mouths lol
Reply
Maybe my mind works in a twisted way but I think what has changed is the men who are doing the cheating. Back in the day it was cool for a man to slide out as long as home was taken care of and never blatantly disrespected (no chicks calling the house, or bringing the outside child to family functions etc.) The mistresses would sit quietly at the funerals in the BACK row and everyone knew who they were but they knew their place. Now I think the cheating men let the sidechicks feel like primary chicks so they want primary chick status. A man who is going to step out needs to make sure he keeps the mistress in her place and not just in her place but happy in her place.
Also, I think back in the day men who had real deal mistresses took better care of the mistresses so they didn’t feel like scorned women who needed revenge. Marilyn knew the Kennedy boys would never let her be broke or truly caught out there. If a man can’t handle keeping more than one woman completely happy he shouldn’t have more than one….just my thoughts….
Reply
Maybe it’s just the age I’m approaching but in the last two years I definitely have seen an increase in the number of married/engaged men that have tried to holla, and not necessarily on some loose, “my wife is outta town for the weekend”, type ish. Again this might just be because I’m at the age where a good percentage of the men I come into contact with are married but it still bugs me out every time, like ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! Haven’t I met your wife? Are those sorority tags on your car?… is that her ride? Didn’t you just post your wedding pics on FB? Social networking makes things even worse. SIDENOTE: What is it with married men who have 100s of pictures of their kids and not one of their spouse on the FB page? I’m not saying you need to have a whole album but damn, she pushed the kids out, she should get some love too no?
Part of what may be making cheating more publicized is that now-a-days women leave. 20 yrs ago John Edwards would still be taking pictures w/ his happy family and that side chick and her
bastardchild would have known their place and stayed in it. I know plenty of people with random 1/2 siblings that you just know better then to ask when and how they came to be. Women have more opportunity and voice and don’t have to worry about how they’re gonna survive if their “man” leaves them. That goes for mistresses too.Reply
Snitchin is at an all time high in ALL AREAS nowadays, feel me greek? smh
Its a cold world, bundle up!
Reply
I think cheating isn’t more widespread, it’s just more acceptable these days to be out in the open about it (esp for famous men) in today’s society, so why bother with trying to pay off ur mistress to keep her quiet when everybody’s doing it.
I also think women have more to gain by snitching these days than in the old days. Back in the day, being a wealthy man’s mistress (in a world where women weren’t heavily in the white collar world) meant you had nice clothes, jewelry, and probably even ur own apartment were your rich hubby could meet you up for some thronxing. Now, women are like… I have my own damn money anyway OR if I don’t, I can make more money with my story than he could ever give me. So yeah, it’s simple economics.
And like Reina said, b*tches are crazy. Well, in a matter of words, anyway. =)
Reply
Seattle — Eff You Guys, I Don’t Want To Get A Fancy Signature — Washington
^^^^^^^^^^^
One of these kids is doin’ their own thing….
Reply
WTF ever happened to married folks just being honest about wanting to get with someone else outside of their marriage? Maybe I’m old, but guys would tell me the truth, “hey, yeah I’m married, but I still want to hit that…” and a sister had a choice, to say yes and become part of the problem or say no and find a brother that was free and clear.
I think half the battle about being married and cheating is the choice. The choice which is taken away from the spouse when honesty is not respected as the only option. Or in the case of Ortega, the unmitigated gall that comes with everyone knowing Reggie was dedicated to Kim and she still rolled with it. She had a choice; she knew, she knew the honesty that Kim was in Reggie’s world. And yet she still shows her natural ignant ass for the world to comment on. For what? Maybe the nickels she gains from this faux publicity will be worth it.
We shall see.
Reply